You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

by Tatsurou

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Sex, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 51254

The Ghost of Sparta has his hands full raising the Element of Laughter.

Kratos...the Ghost of Sparta...

Under the domination of Ares, the God of War, he committed horrid atrocities, including the slaughter of his own wife and daughter...

Visions of what he had done would haunt him all his days...until it brought his days - and his world - to an end...

At least, that's what the fates have decreed await him and Olympus.

But Fate changes sometimes. Some things can't be predicted, even by gods. And this time around, one of those things has found her way to Kratos at the very beginning of his Nightmares.
---
Part of the PWNY-verse.

Edit: New Cover Art by Sanyo21!
Edit: New Fan Art by ArkKane!

Published 2014-10-12 08:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-30 20:29:14 UTC

First Blood

Kratos staggered back, using the Blades of Chaos to deflect the strikes of the manticore's tail sting. While normally such an enemy was no threat to him, fighting was proving difficult this time as Pinkie was attempting to ride it. "Pinkie!" he called out. "Having a bit of difficulty here, and I could use your cooperation!"

"But this is so much fun!" Pinkie called happily, grinning from ear to ear as she hauled on the manticore's ears, causing it to rear upwards.

Seizing the opportunity, Kratos lunged in, striking the manticore across the abdomen, cutting into its belly. The beast roared in pain and collapsed.

Pinkie bounced off the manticore's back. "Why'd you do that, Daddy?" she asked, confused.

Sighing, Kratos delivered the finishing blow to the beast, cutting off its head. "Pinkie, in order to balance against the sins of my past, I have entered the service of the gods of Olympus. I take my orders from Athena primarily. This manticore was attacking that settlement." He pointed to the small village he had been protecting. "I was ordered to kill the manticore so that the villagers could return to their farming in peace."

Pinkie glanced from the people to the dead manticore. "But...couldn't the situation have been dealt with some other way? Without killing it?"

Kratos shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose that could be possible, but I have to trust that the gods made their decision wisely, and that I acted rightly by obeying their directives."

Pinkie sighed. "It's just...I was having so much fun riding it. It's just a shame that you had to kill it."

Kratos kneeled down beside the sad pony. "Pinkie...I get the feeling that, wherever you come from, things are rather peaceful. The lands probably aren't constantly plagued by constant monsters, and the people live at peace with one another. Am I right?"

Pinkie thought about it for a bit. "I guess maybe? I don't really remember much now before you became my Daddy two years ago, and the gods started giving you tasks to accomplish. It's just...this is the first one to involve violence...and killing..."

He pulled her into a soft embrace. "Pinkie, this world is very violent, with death commonplace. I myself am a Spartan, the greatest warrior tribe the land has ever seen. I know death well. I have seen allies fall, and I have slain many foes. I know that on this path I walk, serving the gods to be absolved of my guilt, I will have to do so a great deal more." He gently scratched her behind one ear, knowing that gentle caress often eased her troubled mind. "If you walk this path with me...you will have to face this as well."

Pinkie whimpered a bit, nuzzling into his chest. "...Daddy..."

He sighed sadly. "You do not have to if you do not wish to, though. If you so desire, I will release you from your promise to me-"

"Nuh uh," Pinkie interrupted. "Gotta keep my promise. Otherwise, how can you keep yours to me?"

Kratos chuckled. "I understand." He continued to scratch her behind her ear. "Are you going to be alright?"

She nodded. "I think so. I'll just...have to get used to it." She cuddled into him. "Can...can I sleep with you tonight?"

Kratos nodded, stroking her mane. "You may."

"Should I give you a few hours to enjoy the thanks of the ladies in the village, first?"

Kratos chuckled softly. "You don't have to, Pinkie."

Pinkie smiled happily as she burrowed deep into his embrace. She remained there until Kratos turned in for the night, when she then curled up on his chest as they slept.

Kratos awoke the next morning to the sound of screams and the roar of an angry beast. Leaping from bed, he was surprised and frightened to discover Pinkie Pie had vanished. Calling his Blades to his hands, he rushed from the house the villagers had granted him and Pinkie, to see what was amiss.

Another manticore, somewhat larger than the female he had fought the day before and male, was attempting to charge into the town. However, with each charge attempt was stopped when something large and brown smashed into the creature's face, the spray of crumbs revealing it had the same consistency as Pinkie's cupcakes.

Looking up, Kratos saw that Pinkie was braced on a roof on the outskirts of town, hurling her confections at the manticore each time he charged. Climbing to the roofs, he made his way to her. "What is that you are throwing?" he asked, curious.

"Cakes," Pinkie said, hurling another one.

Kratos blinked. "You're...assaulting him with...cake?"

"Yupperooni!" Pinkie said happily, hurling another one.

As he watched the manticore continue to charge, he shook his head. "I don't think that will work to kill him."

"It will once he takes a bite!"

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Why? Is it poisoned?"

"Nope!" Pinkie said as one cake finally made it mostly into the manticore's open mouth. Seeing him licking his lips, she pulled out another cake and picked up a spear. "But the spear is." She then hurled the cake at the manticore. As he opened his mouth wide to eat it, she hurled the spear through the cake to go straight down the manticore's throat, where it tore through the lining of his throat and his stomach, both injecting the poison into the manticore's flesh and filling his abdominal cavity with digestive acid. The manticore roared, flailed around for a time, choked on its own blood, then curled up dead.

Kratos looked down at Pinkie Pie. "Well done," he said. "That was a perfectly executed kill."

Pinkie hung her head. "Yeah..."

"What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her.

"That manticore attacked...because the one from yesterday was his mate." Pinkie shook her head a bit. "Once she was dead, he would have attacked this settlement relentlessly, to get revenge. He would also have come after you, for killing her, and me, because my scent was on her from when I tried to ride her. To save you, me, and the village...he had to die. I knew I had to make that choice...but I didn't like making it."

Kratos looked down at Pinkie, deep in thought. In this moment she had proven herself to be stronger in character than most Spartan men, having been able to face the burden of wielding death when she was only six years old. A Spartan boy wouldn't even begin his training until seven, and would not face battle of any sort until he was 13. There was a strong warrior hidden inside this pastel pink pony...but a warrior with a fragile heart, one that could easily become a monster if he wasn't careful. He knew now that he owed it - to Pinkie, to the Spartans, and to his dead wife and daughter - to ensure that Pinkie became a warrior, and not a monster.

As those thoughts ended in his mind, Pinkie looked up at him. "Daddy...did I do the right thing?"

Kratos nodded firmly. "Yes, Pinkie, you did." He pulled her into a gentle hug. "You are a warrior through and through. And although it is a little early, if you wish I shall begin your warrior training. We won't be able to train you in the way I was taught, as we will continue to follow the orders of the gods...but when we are done, you will be a warrior the Spartans will be proud to have amongst their numbers."

Pinkie smiled up at him. "I...I'd like that. Will...will the training make it easier to make choices like this?"

Kratos shook his head. "No. Killing will still be a burden to bear, and will get no lighter as you get better at it. But as you become more skilled, your understanding of it will grow...and as a warrior under my command, that burden will be one we bear together."

Pinkie nuzzled into him. "Then I'm ready to train." As he started to pull her into a tighter hug, she bounced away. "Right after the party!"

"Party?" he asked, confused.

"Well the village is safe now, right?" she said, grinning from ear to ear. "We need to help them celebrate!"

As she bounced away happily, Kratos shook his head, pushing himself to his feet. Shrugging his shoulders, he followed her into the village.

This is Your Brain On Pinkie

Pinkie Pie smiled as her Daddy finished adjusting to the Efreet magic inside him by using it to slaughter a dozen or so more Persian soldiers, having enjoyed watching as she both snacked on popcorn and used the Efreet's stray flames to pop more when she ran out. Before long, though, the gates onward opened up.

"Yay! More adventure!" Pinkie bounced happily towards the right gate, only to backpedal as she saw what - and who - was on the other side of the gate. "Daddy, I think this adventure is for you," she said, getting behind him and pushing him forward.

When Kratos saw what Pinkie was pushing him towards, he hesitated, though Pinkie couldn't figure out why. "Pinkie...maybe we should..."

Then Pinkie understood. "It's okay, Daddy!" she said, pushing him into the room. "Have fun with the naked ladies. I'll go have fun with the men outside." Turning, she gave him a light hind-hoof-boot on his rear to push him into the room so the naked ladies could 'thank' him for saving them.

Meanwhile, she bounced outside onto one of the walls of the city, seeing Persian soldiers swarming. "Oh boy, fun time!" She bounced along happily, much to the confusion of the Persians around her. One of them attempted to attack her from behind. She countered by lifting a hind hoof to drive the spear she suddenly gripped in it into his crotch, then used that point of leverage once he bent over to kick him in the head with her other hind hoof. The force of her strike snapped his neck, and nearly took his head clean off. She then reversed her movements until she had all four legs on the wall beneath her again.

For some reason, all the Persians gave her a wide berth after that. She couldn't really make sense of why, though. Didn't they want to play, too? Seeing one Persian climbing over the edge of the wall, she raced towards him with a dagger clenched in each hoof and her mouth. "Fun Time!" she proclaimed as she rushed towards him.

Screaming in terror, the Persian leapt off the siege ladder he'd been climbing. "Oh! This might come in handy!" Her intentions thus declared, Pinkie grabbed hold of the siege ladder, visualized rapidly tapping circle to flex her muscles, and lifted the siege ladder from its moorings. After shaking off the Persians still clinging to it, she then stuffed it into her mane.

At this point, all the other Persians on the wall had fled, either by running out one of the gates or leaping off the sides, and they left a second siege ladder abandoned. "Hmm..." Walking over, she lifted the second ladder. "I don't think I'll ever need two...oh well!" Shrugging her shoulders, she hurled it over her shoulder.

She spun as she heard the basilisk cry out. Apparently, her carelessly thrown siege ladder had driven into its side and stuck. "Oh, there you are!" she cried happily. "Daddy will be proud if I take you out! Now how will I-arbalest!" Rushing over to the siege weapon, she turned it to position to fire...only to see the basilisk had fled. "Aww...well, I can probably find somewhere else to fire it from." Once again using her mental exercise to flex her muscles beyond the limits of her physical body, she lifted the arbalest from its wall mounting and stuffed it into her mane.

In the past, Pinkie Pie would have never have been so blatant in her manipulations of the laws of physics, and have made sure there was some logical explanation for what she did and how she did it. However, her Daddy had indicated that her abilities were hardly out of place here, and it was in fact her attempts to explain them that seemed out of place. As such, she stopped bothering trying to explain how she did things, mostly because she wasn't entirely certain how she did them in the first place. This had made things much simpler, and she found more and more things she could do that defied physics and common sense, as long as she never asked 'how'.

As she turned to go after the basilisk, however, Pinkie Pie paused. "You know," she murmured to herself, "this isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. I mean, I knew it would be easy, but I never expected it to be so monotonous. I gotta think of a way to spice up combat...maybe a new weapon?" She reached into her mane, and pulled out an unusual sword. "A sword? How is that different from the daggers?" Waving the sword, she saw it split into numerous sections that waved with her movements like a whip. "Ooohh...nifty!" Swinging it over her head, she bounced forward, cutting down any Persian that approached her, along with a Cyclops that leapt onto the platform at a bad angle and got instantly beheaded by the spinning blades. "I hope whoever made this won't miss it for too long."

Isabella Valentine stared down Inferno, the demonic manifestation of the spirit of the two swords which had been the center of the conflict that had consumed her world. She knew she was ready. She had fought long and hard to reach this point, and knew that she would not lose. She reached to her side to draw her living sword...

And found herself gripping an arbalest. Glancing down, she saw a notecard stuck to it.

Sorry I'll bring it back later thank you!
Pinkie Pie

She stared in bewilderment at the impossibility beside her. However, as she had no other options, when Inferno began his assault, she fired.

The massive arrow launched forward as the energy of warped reality - and something else aglow with blue light - infused the blazing shaft, and it pierced through Inferno's defenses to embed itself in his core, where it discharged a flood of power. The explosion was blinding, and when it faded all that was left were ordinary metal fragments...all that was left of two mighty weapons that had warped the world around them, now completely cleansed of every last vestige of their power.

"...I need a drink."

Pinkie Pie continued to bounce her way happily through the city in pursuit of the basilisk that she and her Daddy were supposed to kill. However, it continued to flee from her, much to her amusement and frustration. Eventually, she reached a half a bridge jutting out from the city towards a cliff face on the opposite side of a gorge. "Hmm...did it go this way?" she asked as she dropped the gate behind her.

As she walked out onto the bridge, however, the gate opened behind her again. "Pinkie!" Kratos bellowed.

Pinkie Pie turned and saw her Daddy stomping towards her. He did not look happy. "Daddy?" she asked, concerned and confused. "Didn't you have fun with the naked ladies?"

"I did...until I left their company to find you nowhere in sight!" he growled. "I had to search the entire city for you!"

"But..." Pinkie whimpered. "But I said I'd be having fun with the men outside..."

"Which is why I first checked for you amongst the defending soldiers, only to learn they hadn't seen hide nor hair of you!" he growled.

Pinkie blinked. "But why would I play with them? Only bad guys give me any points." She figured that was self evident.

"Yes," Kratos replied, the growl still deep in his voice. "I figured that out when I saw the trail of corpses, property damage, and terrified deserters."

"So it's not so bad?" Pinkie offered.

"You were supposed to stay close!" Kratos barked, obviously furious.

Pinkie blinked, having never expected to see him angry with her. However, seeing the basilisk clambering over the wall behind him, she gulped. "Dad-"

"I may be your father, but I am also your commanding officer!" Kratos continued. "You aren't to go running off like that unsupervised. Is that cle-"

"Daddy, the basilisk!" Pinkie yelled, pointing over his shoulder to where it had reared up and opened its jaw wide. "It's gonna-"

Reaching into Pinkie's mane, Kratos pulled out a buster sword with which he beheaded the basilisk without even turning around to face it. "Don't interrupt!" he commanded, though Pinkie wasn't entirely sure if he meant her or the basilisk at this point.

"Yes sir," Pinkie said quietly.

"From now on, unless specifically ordered to go elsewhere, you are to stay in sight of me at all times. Is that understood?" Kratos glared down at her as he proclaimed this.

"yessir..." Pinkie mumbled in reply.

Kratos' face softened. Kneeling down, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "I've already lost so much, Pinkie," he whispered. "By my own hand, or from my own mistakes...and that loss haunts me every day. I can't lose you, too." Over the years he'd trained and raised her, Kratos had grown fond of Pinkie, taking the role she had proclaimed as his quite seriously.

Smiling, Pinkie Pie returned the embrace. "I love you, too, Daddy," she said softly.

At that exact moment, the sun suddenly flared brightly, and then fell out of the sky to crash into the ground many miles away.

Pinkie stared at the spectacle. "Is...is that normal?"

Kratos opened his mouth to reply, then looked carefully at Pinkie for a time, and his face softened again. "No, Pinkie, it's not normal."

"Did Helios fall asleep at the wheel or something?" she asked curiously.

Kratos shrugged his shoulders. "No idea..."

"How about we go check it out then?" Pinkie suggested, grinning hugely.

Kratos shrugged. "I see no reason why not," he replied, and the pair began their long run towards the impact site.

Author's Note

Please use Pinkie Pie responsibly.

Flames in Darkness

Kratos and Pinkie made their way in the direction of the fallen sun, eventually reaching the city of Marathon, which was under siege from a monstrous threat that seemed to pour from a mysterious black fog. The screams of civilians calling for help gave impetus to their charge, but it was in vain, as the only civilians they encountered were those beyond help, already consumed by the nightmarish constructs of the shadowy fog. Each time they came across one of those mutilated bodies, Pinkie hesitated, her smile gradually waning.

After a time of passing through the city between flames, Kratos paused to kneel beside his equine charge. "Pinkie?" he asked softly.

Pinkie Pie shivered. "This...this isn't as fun as it was..." She shivered. "The enemies we fought...well, we were killing them, and I didn't really see the carnage, but..." She struggled to swallow, her nose wrinkling at the stench of the dead. "The bodies...they're everywhere..."

Kratos pulled Pinkie into a gentle hug. Every so often he had to remind himself that, despite her skill in and enthusiasm for combat that would shame many Spartans, she was only nine years old, still below the age when a Spartan warrior in training would ever face an actual foe. It was understandable, given this, that she would sometimes come across something that she couldn't handle, or pushed her beyond her abilities to shrug aside. "...this is the outcome of war," Kratos said finally. "No matter who starts it or why, there is always a mountain of the dead."

"I hate it," Pinkie whimpered, shuddering. She buried her face into Kratos' chest.

Kratos did his best to comfort her. However, both were distracted by a cry of unknown source. "Stay out of the fog!" The warning seemed to have too much strength to have come from a random civilian, but no source could be spied.

Looking around, Kratos saw that the fog covered everything, held at bay only by the heat of flames. "Pinkie," he said softly, "I know this is difficult for you...but if we don't act to get the sun back into the sky, this fog will continue to blanket the world, and the beasts within will consume everyone. I need you to be strong, Pinkie. Can you do that for me?"

Sniffling, Pinkie eventually nodded. "Okay, Daddy..." Her voice trailed off. "Do you hear music?"

Kratos tilted his head, also catching the haunting melody. "I hear it," he managed to say. It was so familiar, but he couldn't quite place where he had heard it before.

Pinkie leapt from his arms. "Let's go see where it's coming from!" Pinkie cried happily, rushing forward. Kratos, seized by the same compulsion, kept pace with her.

As the pair continued, they found various ways to use fire to keep the black fog at bay, from pushing a large torch to setting hay in a cart on fire and pushing it along their path. Part way through, however, Kratos had to stop one of Pinkie's more...creative solutions to the situation.

"Pinkie...what are you doing with that torch?" he asked sternly.

Pinkie looked up at him innocently. "...setting the city of Marathon on fire?" she offered sweetly.

"Why?"

"Because...fire keeps the black fog away? So I figured setting all the buildings on fire would work better than trying to bring fire with us?" She smiled proudly at her logic, though she hesitated as she saw no approval in Kratos' stern gaze.

"Pinkie...if we set the city on fire, what happens to any civilians who escape the monsters in the fog when they want to come back?"

Pinkie frowned. "Oh...I...I hadn't thought about that..." Her ears suddenly perked up. "You really think some people escaped?" she asked hopefully.

Privately, Kratos suspected that the monsters in the fog had already slain everyone with no survivors, but he couldn't bring himself to extinguish the hope that had ignited in Pinkie's eyes at the thought that some had survived. "I'm certain they did," he said softly. "So we'd best leave most of the city standing so they have something to come back to." He wouldn't normally have even considered keeping the city in one piece as something worth worrying about...but Pinkie's mere presence pushed him towards thinking more and more about the wellbeing of civilians and bystanders during his tasks set by the Gods...especially as Pinkie tended to quickly and easily befriend anyone they met outside a combat situation.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie cried happily, tossing her torch back onto the cart.

Although Kratos was pleased he had managed to cheer up Pinkie, he began to regret talking her out of setting the town on fire as his grip on the cart was frequently broken from the arrows of dark archers sniping at him from within the fog, beyond the reach of the flames' heat to make safe to counterattack.

As Kratos and Pinkie reached the edge of the city of Marathon, they found the Temple of Helios, embedded in the ground from its fall from the sky. As they approached, the same melody that had drawn them in before could be heard from Morpheus' fog.

Pinkie sat down to contemplate that. "Weird. That music is coming out of the fog...but it's definitely a human melody. It's not created by magic, or god power, or anything else like that...or at least it doesn't seem like it." She frowned, scratching her head. "Well...it seems to be coming out of the fog, anyway..."

"It seems...familiar," Kratos mumbled before shaking himself out of the lassitude the music brought on him. "Come, Pinkie, we have work to do."

Pinkie nodded. "Right! Adventure and world saving now, contemplation of possibly important plot threads later!" She bounced ahead to begin ascending into the Temple, making sure - as previously instructed - to stay within Kratos' line of sight.

Kratos ignored what to him were Pinkie's nonsensical ramblings and followed her.

Before long, the pair had entered the main part of the Temple, where they were distracted as a statue of Athena came to life. "Kratos..."

"Athena?" Kratos asked in shock, turning to the statue. "What madness has befallen us?"

"There is not much time, Kratos. Olympus needs you."

"I grow tired of the Gods' requests!" Kratos snapped. "I have given enough! Now take these Nightmares from my head!"

"It is not for you to decide when your servitude ends-" Athena began.

"Hey!" Pinkie interrupted. "Stop being meany-pants! Both of you!"

Both Kratos and Athena turned to Pinkie in shock, Kratos because she was yelling at him, and Athena because this was the first time she had ever spoken to the goddess, or even while the goddess was present.

"You," Pinkie said, rounding on Kratos, "told me that you were serving the gods of Olympus so that you could right the wrongs you had made for the sake of your ambition, so that the weight of your good deeds would balance the weight of your wrongdoing, so that when you got to Hades you could be judged a good person, right?"

"Yes, but-" Kratos began.

"Well, how do you know when you've done enough?" she asked. "You don't know what the scales look like. You don't know how they work! But the gods would, so they would know how much good you still need to do, right?"

Kratos could only nod helplessly, recognizing her points. "I...suppose I have been a bit impatient..."

"And you!" Pinkie yelled, now rounding on Athena. "Daddy volunteered to serve the Gods of Olympus in order to earn forgiveness for the evils of his past, and to be freed from his nightmares. He's working for you by choice, not compulsion, so the least you can do is be polite when giving him his tasks!" She snorted angrily. "Just because you're a god doesn't mean you have to talk down to him! You said it yourself: Olympus needs him. Doesn't that mean it's a good idea to treat him nice?"

Athena was silent for a time. "...you are right, young one," she said at last. "The dedication and willingness Kratos has shown in service to Olympus is deserving of respect. The urgency of the situation at hand unseated my courtesy."

Pinkie nodded, knowing this was as close as she'd get at this time to either of them apologizing. "Now, you were saying the situation was urgent?"

After a time, the statue spoke with Athena's voice again. "The God of the Sun has been torn from the sky. This Temple on which you stand is the chariot of Helios. Without their Master to reign them, the fire steeds have driven the chariot into the earth. And without Helios, there is no one to keep Morpheus from seizing permanent power..." Her voice began to trail off, as though it were a struggle to get the words out.

"So, we gotta get the chariot back into the sky, get the steeds to keep it up there, and find out why Helios fell in the first place?" Pinkie asked.

"...yes..." Athena managed to say. "Many Gods have...already fallen into a deep slumber..." Athena's voice faded, as was the sense of her presence within the statue.

"Athena?" Kratos asked, shocked.

"She musta pushed herself to fight Morpheus' power long enough to give us our marching orders," Pinkie said sagely. Walking up, she patted the statue. "Sleep easy, Athena! We'll fix it!"

Kratos wasn't certain if he imagined it, but a smile seemed to grace the statue's lips just before the sense of Athena's presence faded completely.

Stairs

Pinkie and Kratos made their way into the Temple of Helios carefully, unsure what would await them. Kratos was relatively unsurprised to discover various monsters appearing to challenge them, although he felt Pinkie may have been a little too eager in engaging in battle. The first few groups of enemies used one of two types of attacks; they either threw explosives at them that created circles of flame when they landed, or they struck with two swords in a dance like maneuver. Neither tactic proved effective against Pinkie, as her strangely configured axe proved as effective with small projectiles as large ones. As for when they swung at her, she danced backwards between the strikes, forcing them to overextend, then lunging under the last strike, severing the extended arm at the elbow, and then using the attached blade to impale the humanoid beast.

Between that and her tendency to shoot javelins from a blowpipe to pin monsters to walls by their eyes, neither Kratos nor Pinkie had any trouble slaughtering their way through to the inside of the Temple. Kratos did blink the first time he saw the javelin-blowpipe maneuver, mostly because he couldn't figure out how it could work when the narrowest point of the javelin - barring the point - was wider than the widest point of the blowpipe.

Continuing their journey in silence - Kratos was not garrulous by nature, and Pinkie was keeping her ears open for that music they heard before - they eventually came to a locked elevator. Getting on the central platform, each of them broke one of the locks, riding the platform down deeper into the Temple, Pinkie happily bucking the monsters off the sides into deep pits with both hind hooves when she got the chance.

As the platform came to a halt, a massive armor appeared before them, possessed by a fiery spirit. As Kratos prepared to fight, however, Pinkie gasped. "Oh! That could come in handy!" She promptly yanked each piece of armor off the spirit, stuffing them into her mane. Seizing the sword, she dragged the spirit over to Kratos, pulled the Efreet out of him, and fed the fire spirit to the fire Djinn before letting him reeneter Kratos. She then stuffed the sword into her mane as well.

Kratos could only blink, staring at what just happened. While he couldn't deny that he felt the power of the Efreet stronger inside him now, that had been strange even for Pinkie's antics. He started to open his mouth to question, then shook his head, deciding - as he had many times before - that it wasn't important how Pinkie managed these things, only that they worked to aid their progress.

Eventually, they reached an area that seemed to be towards the center of the Temple, or at least was designed with a theme that resembled a hub. After pushing over a pillar to reach the central platform, Kratos and Pinkie were both startled as a statue began to speak.

"I am glad that you have come, Ghost of Sparta," the statue addressed them. "The Titan Atlas has been freed from the Pits of Tartarus, and has taken my brother, Helios, from his rightful place in the sky."

"What does Atlas want with the Sun God?" Kratos inquired, somewhat forcefully.

"Helios holds within him the power of the sun," the statue - the goddess, apparently - replied, "a power so great it can destroy the world. It cannot be trusted in the hands of a Titan."

"How come Atlas isn't effected by Morpheus?" Pinkie inquired curiously.

"Please take the sun shield from his throne," the statue continued, ignoring Pinkie's inquiry as a door opened, "walk through the gates of Olympus, and you will find me."

"Stupid recorded messages," Pinkie groused.

"Hurry Kratos," the message continued. "Even now, my brother suffers at the hand of Atlas." With that, the energy animating the statue faded.

Kratos ruffled Pinkie's mane to shake off her grumps, then pulled down another pillar with the Blades of Chaos to let them cross to the door that had opened.

The door closed behind them as they entered Helios' throne room. There, braced in the top of the throne, was the shield in question. Climbing up on the throne, Pinkie struggled to pull it free. "It's stuck!"

"The throne is only stone," Kratos informed Pinkie, drawing his blades.

Nodding, Pinkie jumped back, letting Kratos smash the throne to retrieve the shield. After acquiring it - and defeating those monsters that appeared, apparently as either a security system or what Pinkie called a 'tutorial segment' - Kratos used the Sun Shield to open up the first of what would surely be many doors.

At what lay behind the door, however, Pinkie groaned. "We just came down an elevator, and now we have to climb stairs?" She threw up her forehooves in frustration. "What next?"

"The stairs won't climb themselves, Pinkie," Kratos pointed out, heading for the stairwell.

Pinkie nodded, following him. Part way up, however, Kratos was surprised as Pinkie zipped by him on the underside of the stairwell, all four hooves braced as she skidded upward shouting, "WEEEEEE!" Shaking his head helplessly, Kratos increased his pace to catch up with her as she flipped right side up at the top level of the stairwell. "Again!" she shouted happily.

Kratos rolled his eyes as the stairwell sealed itself off. Glancing around, he saw the black fog of Morpheus had begun to encroach on the temple, and the creatures of the fog had begun to take shape, blocking their path.

"So...can that Sun Shield make sunlight?" Pinkie asked. "Cause that might help drive these guys back."

"It might," Kratos admitted, "though I have no idea how."

"So...hacky slashy?" Pinkie offered.

Kratos nodded. "Hacky-slashy," he replied, having grown used to Pinkie's childish terminology, given she was a child.

After clearing out a group of shadow beasts, Kratos used the Sun Shield to open up another stairwell downward.

"Down, up, down, up...why can't we just go straight?" Pinkie demanded. "Who designed this Temple into such a convoluted mess?"

"It was probably designed this way to hold back invaders," Kratos pointed out.

Pinkie stared at him flat eyed. "Daddy...this Temple is normally suspended in the sky, flying around the world as the sun. What sort of invaders did they expect to have?"

Unable to answer this question, Kratos merely shrugged before descending the stairwell, the grumbling equine following behind.

Praise the Sun

Once they made it past the stairs, Kratos and Pinkie continued questing into the Temple of Helios. It quickly became apparent that it wasn't just Helios that was unavailable for steering the temple through the skies. The spirits of the Fire Steeds had also left their physical vessels, to slumber in statues scattered throughout the temple. When they reached the first one, Pinkie scowled. "So what now?" she asked Kratos.

Kratos glanced around the chamber, thinking. "Well, if the spirits are sleeping...we need to wake them up-"

Before Kratos could finish his thought, Pinkie had pulled out a horn and blown a deafening note. "Wake up!" she shouted at the statue, pulling out what looked like inverted shields and banging them together, setting up an infernal din. She then pulled out the strange axe from before and began strumming the strings on it forcefully, releasing a barrage of sound that - for some reason - make Kratos reach for his face to check if it was melting. She then pulled out a gong and banged on it for a while, before finally finishing with dumping a large pile of barrels and boxes full of a strange black powder around the statue, leaving a trail of it back away from said statue, and then lighting it and ducking for cover. The flame blazed along the trail, ending in a massive explosion.

When the smoke cleared, the statue was unscathed, and the spirit of the Fire Steed still slumbered. "Well, I'm out of ideas," Pinkie offered, shrugging her shoulders.(1)

Kratos shook his head and pointed. Nearby were two statues holding reflective shield, which - during Pinkie's attempts - he had pushed into position to reflect light from the Temple itself into alcoves waiting to receive it.

"Ooohh..." Pinkie breathed. "Mirror puzzles!" She frowned. "I always hated those. So hard to get the angles right."

Arranging the statues carefully, Kratos then used the Sun Shield to send a concentrated burst of light into the statue to wake the spirit, and then to send the spirit back through the temple to where its stone body waited to pull it through the sky. "One down," he muttered.

"Three to go?" Pinkie asked. Kratos nodded in confirmation. Pinkie then pointed. "And it looks like waking this spirit revealed a new path with-" Her face began to twitch as the floor she pointed to began to drop. "More stairs!" she screamed in frustration.

Kratos couldn't help but chuckle under his breath at Pinkie's almost comic frustration. He pulled back as Pinkie lunged up to his face with a gasping grin, only to pull back in disappointment, before turning to go down the stairs, muttering "So close" under her breath.

As they continued along the path, they heard the voice of Eos, urging them to hurry. A strange portal then appeared, leading them to a cave like region that, somehow, did not feel like the temple. Ascending a wall in the new region led Kratos to acquiring Triton's Lance, an artifact that enabled him to breathe underwater.

"Oh goody, we get to go swimming!" Pinkie said happily. "Just let me get my snorkel!" Fishing in her mane, she then pulled out a strange tube which curved up from her mouth, a clear visor to cover her eyes, and flippers for her hooves. "Re's go!" she cried around the tube in her mouth before leaping off the pinnacle into the water.

Kratos paused as he stared after her. He wasn't confused about her already having an artifact to swim underwater with, the strange nature of it, or how she got up the sheer cliff to leap off.

What he puzzled over as he leaped into the water to follow her was why she hadn't used it sooner.

The path they were forced to take thereafter was roundabout enough for Pinkie to begin emitting strangled sounds of frustration and further complaints about the needlessly convoluted path, although the occasional monsters that popped up happened to be at just the right points for Pinkie to vent that frustration. Although it was somewhat unnerving for Kratos to watch Pinkie slam one of the larger monsters bodily into the others by swinging it over her head in her forehooves while shouting, "Stop hitting yourselves! Stop hitting yourselves! Geeze, if you're all this bad, just turn friendly fire off in the options!"

As they passed through, they eventually encountered Eos herself, severely weakened from her brother's absence. "All glory be to Lord Zeus for granting you safe passage to me," she said softly.

Before Kratos could respond rudely, Pinkie spoke up. "Umm, all the gods are asleep cause of Morpheus. We had to make it here all on our own. And...all things considered, thanking Zeus for Daddy's accomplishments isn't the best way to get on Daddy's good side...or Zeus's, for that matter."

Eos nodded her understanding. "Kratos, if you free my brother, I give my word he will plead your case with Zeus to free you, both from your servitude and the nightmares that haunt you."

Kratos started to open his mouth to reply rudely, but Pinkie glared at him, and he thought over the situation. "Your sentiment is appreciated," Kratos said at last, "but you cannot promise on behalf of your brother, or anyone else."

Eos accepted this point. "Know that you will have at least one permanent ally on Olympus in the future then, Ghost of Sparta. But hurry. The Primordial Fire is almost out. Without Helios, the life giving light of the world cannot be sustained. If you do not find him, only darkness and death await all of us."

Kratos nodded his understanding. "Where has Atlas taken him?"

"I do not know, Kratos," Eos admitted. "Follow the path out of the Cave," she instructed, "retrieve the fire, and it will light your path to the remaining steeds. They will guide you to their master." She began to wilt in on herself a little. "They will take you to my brother."

As Kratos and Pinkie started down the path, Eos spoke one last blessing on them. "May you go with the speed of Hermes, Ghost of Sparta."

(1) Before beginning this story, I once considered writing one where Pinkie was raised - collectively - by the Looney Tunes.
...does it show?

Living Fire

In the chamber at the end of the path, Kratos collected the essence of the Primordial Flame to aid them in their quest. It merged itself with the Sun Shield, strengthening its protective attributes. With the flame inside it, it was able to absorb enemy projectile attacks and return them in a blast of cleansing flame. After briefly demonstrating his mastery of the new technique by using it to obliterate a few attacking statues, the flame also unlocked the ability to fire a projectile of solar fire from the shield at will.

With the path once more cleared, they continued down the path through another door...which led back into the original large chamber from before. Pinkie's frustration at once more going in circles exploded as she demonstrated that - apparently - she had somehow absorbed the Primordial Flame's abilities as well, throwing fireballs at the monsters that arose until - from Kratos perspective - they were too scared to rise up again.

Heading back through the portal that brought them to the caves, they returned to the Temple of Helios and continued their explorations, seeking the remaining spirits of the Fire Steeds.

Once they returned to the outside of the Temple through a different exit, Kratos and Pinkie were assailed once again by that haunting melody. Pinkie noticed that Kratos seemed more effected by the melody than she was, to the point he was actually thrown off somewhat in combat. After a fast battle, she decided to ask about it. "Daddy, does something bother you about that melody?"

"It seems so...familiar," he admitted, shaking his head to clear it.

As he refocused on the events at hand, the melody faded. "It seems to be stronger when you think about it. It's probably something you remember that Morpheus is using against you."

Kratos nodded. "You're probably right." Turning, he focused on the light puzzle that would waken the second fire steed.

After awakening the second Fire Steed, the inside of the Temple was noticeably warmer than it had been. After a brief analysis, Pinkie became much less antagonistic regarding their seemingly endless circling through the temple. "After all," she pointed out, "the four steeds are the four winds. It makes sense they'd sleep at the four corners of the temple. There is a direct path from the central region of the temple to each steed's resting place, but it wouldn't make sense for there to be a path from one steed to the next." Having reached this acceptable conclusion, she was much calmer as she vivisected the next monster to cross her path.

Kratos was unsure which was more frightening; when Pinkie was battling enraged, when she was battling happily, or when she was absolutely calm like this. In all honestly, he preferred happy warrior Pinkie, though.

After waking the third fire steed, Kratos noticed that Pinkie was being thoughtful. "What's on your mind?" he asked.

She rubbed her chin. "Do these statues look anything like the Steeds that are sleeping in them?"

Kratos scratches his head, then nodded. "I suppose they'd have to. Why?"

"Well...it's just...he's kinda cute."

Kratos blinked. "Who?"

"Zephyros," Pinkie replied, blushing.

Kratos blinked for a time. "You...do realize he's made of living fire, right?"

"So he's a total hottie?" Pinkie countered with interest.

Kratos struggled to comprehend that. "He's also...a good deal older than you."

"Last I checked, they were ageless immortals, so it's not like that's an issue," she pointed out.

Kratos struggled to follow where her mind was going. "And...the Fire Steeds' real bodies are large enough to pull this entire Temple through the sky."

Pinkie blushed. "I...like em big?"

Kratos decided quite firmly that he was not going to pursue this line of discussion any further, and promptly headed out for where the reigns of the steeds led.

As they left the Temple, heading for the reigns of the Fire Steeds, the army of Morpheus once more began an assault. At the same time, the melody returned...but this time, Kratos recognized the song. "Calliope?" he gasped in wonder.

"Who?" Pinkie asked.

"My daughter," he managed to explain. "The one who...lost her life because of my ambitions...because of me."

Pinkie's eyes widened. "She's the one playing that song?" She gasped happily. "Then I have a sister to meet!" Reaching into her mane, Pinkie yanked out a pair of Persian swords she had picked up back in Attica and leaped into the fray, cutting her way through to the Fire Steeds.

Kratos, for his part, was no less eager than she to find out how Calliope could be in the world of the living again. Drawing his blades, he charged after her, the two of them carving their way through the army of Morpheus, letting none stop them. "Calliope! Where are you?" he called out as he charged.

Having carved their way through the army, there was still no sign of Calliope, much to Kratos and Pinkie's frustrations. However, at the end they reached the Fire Steeds, their spirits now infusing their bodies. As Kratos threw the levers to waken them completely, Pinkie hopped up near them. "You know, Daddy, they aren't nearly as big as you implied." She then lay in front of Zephyros as Kratos threw the last switch. "Hey Cutie," she breathed, giving her best bedroom eyes.(1)

The Steeds' eyes popped open wide, and with a loud, panicked whinny, they leaped into the air. As Kratos dug into the chariot with his blades and caught Pinkie as she flipped back through the air towards him, he wasn't entirely sure if the Steeds' charge here was more to get to their Master, or to get away from Pinkie.

As the steeds pulled Kratos and Pinkie through the fog of Morpheus, Kratos found himself reminiscing about Calliope...about the flute he had carved for her...about how happy she had always been to see him, and he her. Having seen how great a warrior Pinkie had become, another vision slipped its way in, of how Calliope would have done in warrior training, and an image of her and Pinkie charging into battle together. But those dreams were cut off as the fog forced him to recall the day that had broken his loyalty to Ares...the day he had been tricked into killing his wife and daughter...

As the steeds broke through the fog and into the Underworld, Kratos was snapped out of his reminiscing. Seeing the steeds fading, unable to maintain their magical energies in the Underworld, Kratos leapt from the chariot with Pinkie in his arms, catching hold of a cliff face as he prepared to find where in the Underwold Helios had been taken.

(1) In ancient Greece, both sexes became sexually active - with both sexes - at a much younger age than in modern times. It's why so many of those ancient cultures worshiped goddesses of fertility, since they could see no connection between sex and babies. Women just suddenly started having kids after a certain age.
As such, it's perfectly reasonable - if slightly disturbing - for a nine year old Pinkie to be trying to seduce Zephyros here.

Deviations

Kratos and Pinkie began their exploration of the Underworld, carefully searching for any sign of Helios or Calliope. Pinkie continued to keep her eye on Kratos, concerned he might be ensorcelled by whatever had conjured Calliope's song from his memory. Their first obstacle was traversing a large cavern via clinging to the ceiling. Pinkie, in the hopes of distracting Kratos from becoming too focused, walked across the ceiling upside down as though it were the floor, though she nearly fell when he didn't even notice. In frustration, when they began scaling cliffs afterwards and monsters clawed their way out to attack, she was rather brutal with them. None came after the first set, for some reason...although the cliff face did tremble in a few places for some reason.

At the top of the cliffs, a Medusa also attacked, though Pinkie tossed her over the side of the cliff in frustration. One look at her face sent the other two to follow the first willingly. The two adventurers then proceeded to climb their way up even more cliffs. At the top, they came across a pair of cyclopes, and they each took on one. Pinkie decided to vent some frustrated energy on hers, and leapt onto its shoulder.

"Hey! I'm over here!" she yelled in its ear. She then dodged out of the way just before its fist slammed into its head.

"Stop hitting yourself!" she yelled from by its other ear, followed by dodging the next blow to its own head.

"Stop hitting yourself!" she yelled again from her place on its stomach, dodging another blow.

"Stop hitting yourself!" she yelled again, hanging from its loincloth, then leaping free of the last blow.

She gave it time to recover from that before hopping to the back of the other cyclops's head. "Stop hitting yourself!" she yelled one last time, then leapt away.

Her cyclops had already thrown the punch, striking its companion on the back of the head, triggering a brawl between them that quickly terminated both of them.

When the third cyclops arose, Pinkie let Kratos finish it off while she took care of the monsters trying to attack him from behind. With the path once more clear, they continued on towards more cliffs, leaping from platform to platform.

After a time of clambering around and coming to a steep drop, Kratos paused, glancing towards Pinkie. "What?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I was merely surprised you had not complained about the constantly going up and down as you had in the Temple," he mentioned.

He was caught off guard by Pinkie suddenly hugging him around the neck. "You aren't hyper focused!" she said happily. "That's wonderful!" She then bounced back to the ground. "I was beginning to get worried you'd gone magic puppet from the song." She turned back to the drop. "And even if it didn't make sense for an outside, natural area to have varied terrain with an inefficient path, this is the Underworld, Daddy. It's supposed to be frustrating!" With a giggle, she leaped downwards. "Geronimo!"

Rolling his eyes, Kratos followed.

Eventually, Kratos and Pinkie reached a large bell near a river. Pinkie, curious to see what would happen, ducked under the bell, clung to the bell pull, and proceeded to rapidly ring it by bouncing her head around the inside until Kratos pulled her out. Pinkie giggled. "That was fun!"

Kratos rolled his eyes. Before long, Charon's Ferry arrived. Kratos and Pinkie boarded.

"Who calls for the Ferryman?" Charon asked, his voice grating.

"Hi!" Pinkie said happily. "I'm Pinkie Pie! This is my Daddy, Kratos. Who are you?"

Charon blinked. This was not how mortals - living or dead - usually reacted to their first sight of him. "I am Charon, the ferryman. It is my duty to ferry the dead across the River Styx."

"What's wrong with your voice?" Pinkie asked. "Would you like some water to gargle? Alka seltzer? Maybe a lozenge?"

Charon blinked again, both surprised and...touched. This was the first time since he had been given this post that anyone - God or mortal - had expressed concern for him...and he didn't know how to handle it.

Pinkie then spoke up again. "By the way, we're looking for Helios. Atlas has him down here somewhere. Can you take us across the river to keep looking?"

Charon stared at her for a time. "I'm not supposed to take mortals across while they still live..."

Pinkie immediately folded her ears against her skull, lowered her head, and looked up at him with dewy eyes and a pouty lip.

Not even a god could have resisted that for long. "...but I suppose I can make an exception, just this once, since you are on a mission from the Gods." Pinkie's happy smile in response to this filled Charon's heart with joy, and for a single moment lifted the gloom of the torment of his existence and occupation. "You'll still need to pay the toll, for accounting purposes."

"Here ya go!" Pinkie said happily, handing him a cupcake.

He blinked at it. "I'm...really only supposed to accept coins..."

"Trust me," Kratos grunted, "it is beyond price."

Curious, Charon took a bite.

For the first time in hundreds of years, the denizens of the Underworld were caught off guard by the passage of the Ferry...and Charon singing a sea shanty, accompanied by a perky pink party pony.

"Yar har, fiddle-dee-dee!
Being a pirate is alright with me!
Do what you want cause a Pirate is free!
You are a pirate!"

The Greatest Magic

As the ferry went deeper into the Realm of Hades, the light of Helios soon became visible, illuminating the entire Underworld. Pinkie hopped up to the guard rail for a closer look, but paused as she once more heard that haunting melody. She knew now that it wasn't actually her sister Calliope that she hadn't met. Kratos' behavior whenever the song played proved that it was being used to ensorcell him.

As the ferry approached the shore, Pinkie spotted a strange, shadowy figure on the dock. It was small, not much bigger than herself, and roughly humanoid in shape. It floated just over the steps. The music seemed to be coming from it.

"Calliope!" Kratos shouted as he spotted the figure, leaping to the dock in pursuit.

Pinkie's temper hit a fast boil. She knew that wasn't the sister she never met. "What was that?" she demanded of Charon.

He sighed. "That was a wraith," he said softly. "It appears to be using the song to cause Kratos to perceive it as his dead daughter. Not normal behavior for such beings. Someone is using it to manipulate him."

Pinkie snorted angrily. "No one manipulates my Daddy like that! No! One!" With that, she angrily leapt to the dock. About to head off in pursuit, she stopped and turned back. "Thanks for the lift, Mr. Charon! Have a nice day!" She gave him a happy wave, then turned back to her angry charge.

Charon couldn't help but chuckle. "I had thought there was no escape from your suffering, Ghost of Sparta. Surely the Gods would not grant such, any more than they have for me. But that one just might." With a smile, he pushed back out to the river to await his next summons.

As he stared into the river, he sighed. "Where's my cute and colorful pony to lighten my hours and make me smile?" he asked plaintively, not seriously expecting an answer.

Pinkie pursued Kratos through the Temple of Persephone. Despite Kratos having a large lead on her, she paused long enough to read the tale of Persephone from the scattered tomes. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like that information was important. She fully expected to encounter some monsters of the Underworld as she went, but all she came across were the corpses of those Kratos had slain. "If Daddy's had to stop and fight, I'm sure to catch up to him!" she mused aloud.

Continuing to follow, she came across other rooms where chunks of armor lay scattered, torn off the larger corpses. Apparently Kratos, unable to break these armor chunks(1), had settled for ripping them violently from the monsters before tearing them apart. "Huh. These could be useful." Grabbing those armor chunks, she stuffed them into her mane for later before continuing on.

Following the path of kicked open doors and monster corpses - and using her special shortcuts to get past the elevator that Kratos hadn't lowered back down for her - Pinkie finally caught up to Kratos outside the Temple in an open grove. She started to call out to him, but paused as she saw him yelling at a woman.

"Where is my daughter, witch?" he demanded, full of rage.

"Choose your words carefully, Ghost of Sparta," the woman countered firmly. "You address the Goddess of the Underworld."

Pinkie blinked. "That must be Persephone," she whispered to herself. "But wait, Athena said that Morpheus' magic put all the gods to sleep. How come Persephone isn't asleep?" Scratching her head, a possible explanation occurred to her. "Well, there's no fog in the Underworld, so that could be why...but then how come there's no sight of Hades? Shouldn't he have shown up at some point?" Her eyes widened, then narrowed. "Unless..."

Pinkie fell silent, wincing as she heard Kratos crazed ranting. She knew what he was shouting wasn't true. He did care about the world of man. He'd been the one to caution her about setting the City of Marathon on fire, after all. She felt her rage - now focused on Persephone - building as she saw how easily the Goddess was manipulating her Daddy...but knew she couldn't step in now.

Besides, she wanted to meet Calliope, too.

"If you are to meet your daughter again," Persephone instructed, "you must become worthy of Elysium. Cast your weapons at the Forsaken Tree, and let it release the evils of your past. Only then will you be free of your sins, and be granted passage through the divine gates." The Goddess then made her own way through the gate in question.

Pinkie watched as Kratos embedded the Blades of Chaos in the tree. She gasped in shock as she saw the tree absorb all the power the blades had gathered over the course of their battles, leeching the red markings and white coloring from his skin at the same time, leaving him a pinkish tan. At the end, the chains broke free of Kratos' wrists, the weapons fully absorbed by the tree.

"You have done well, Ghost of Sparta," Persephone's voice echoed. "Walk through the portal, and find the one you seek." Without hesitation, Kratos walked through the portal.

Pinkie hesitated a moment until she felt the Goddess's attention leave the grove, then went up to the tree. "Excuse me," she said, knocking on its trunk, "but I'm pretty sure my Daddy's going to need those back, please."

The tree stood silent for a moment, and then the blades floated out. They hovered there, crossed in the center of a pulsing red sphere, the chains wrapped around the sphere.

"Thank you!" Pinkie said happily, taking the sphere. She paused as her hoof touched it. When the power had gone into the tree, it had looked dirty somehow. But now...it felt clean(2). Shrugging that off, she stuffed it into her mane before jumping through the portal.

As she entered, Pinkie saw Kratos holding a young girl, not much older than Pinkie herself, who shared some features with Kratos. This was obviously Calliope. "Daddy!" Pinkie called happily, running up to them.

"Father?" the young girl asked in confusion.

Kratos looked pained as he turned his gaze to Pinkie, guilty even. However, seeing her smile as she ran forward eased that pain. "Pinkie Pie, this is my daughter Calliope. I've told you about her." As Pinkie rested her forelegs on Kratos' arms, he turned back to Calliope. "Calliope, this is Pinkie Pie, your sister. We took care of each other after I...lost you."

Calliope smiled happily, seeming content with that explanation. "Sister," she said warmly, extending her arms to Pinkie. Apparently, life in Greece made almost anything seem normal, and she found nothing at all strange in being told that a bright pink talking pony was now her sister.

Pinkie, for her part, hugged Calliope enthusiastically.

Persephone's voice broke into their emotional moment. "I have watched over you pathetic mortals-"

"Hey!" Pinkie angrily interrupted. "Don't you dare interrupt our happy family reunion! We still need to find Mom after all!"

Kratos winced. He plainly remembered that his last parting from his wife had been...unpleasant, with angry words exchanged. Her last words that day - the last time he saw her before he swore fealty to Ares - passed through his mind.

"For the glory of Sparta? Or the glory of yourself?!"

"Mother isn't here in Elysium," Calliope told Pinkie, not noticing Kratos' sigh of relief.

"Aww..." Pinkie pouted.

"Excuse me!" Persephone demanded, stepping forward. "But I was trying-"

"I said shush!" Pinkie interrupted again. "No interrupting family time!"

Kratos and Calliope could only stare as Pinkie left the Goddess of the Underworld completely flustered. "How dare you!" Persephone proclaimed. "Do you know to whom you so speak?"

"Yuppers!" Pinkie proclaimed proudly. "I'm talking to the Goddess of the Underworld...the only god still awake with Morpheus active, which means you were somewhere safe from the fog when it spread, meaning you knew it was going to spread, meaning you're the one who freed Atlas to kidnap Helios and plunge the world into night, all as part of some sort of revenge plot against Zeus and Olympus for making you stay married to Hades because of eating the pomegranate seeds!" Persephone, Kratos, and Calliope all gasped, Persephone at being seen through so easily by a mortal, Kratos and Calliope for the conniving of a Goddess. "You're also the one who used a wraith and Calliope's flute music to ensorcell Daddy so you could manipulate him into giving up his powers to be with her again so he wouldn't be able to stop you or Atlas!"

Kratos eyes widened, then narrowed in rage. Calliope's fists clenched.

"Then you know you cannot stop-"

"But you were expecting Charon to hold us up for a while," Pinkie interrupted again, "which means Atlas isn't in position to attack Olympus yet, meaning we still have time for our family bonding moment before dealing with you. So shut up until then!" With that, she turned back to Kratos and Calliope.

Persephone's face colored in fury. "You dare turn your back on-GAH!" The Goddess clutched at her eye as the rock that had split her eyebrow fell.

"Leave us alone, bad lady!" Calliope shouted.

"Nice shot, sis!" Pinkie praised proudly.

Kratos merely stared. He had always remembered Calliope as his sweet, gentle daughter, gifted in music. Now, he had known that, as a Spartan, she would also receive warrior training when she reached the right age, but he hadn't expected her to be talented with the arts of war as well. He felt pride swelling inside of him.

Persephone exploded in rage, black feathered wings exploding from her back. "You dare assault the Queen of the Dead?" she shouted. "You shall pay dearly for-"

"I said!" Pinkie growled, charging forward and slamming head first into Persephone's gut, making the Goddess double over.

"Stop!" she cried, delivering a right hook to the divine chin.

"Interrupting!" she enunciated, going into a reverse spin while balanced on her head, hitting Persephone's other cheek once with each hoof on each syllable.

"Our!" Pinkie continued, bringing her forehooves down on Persephone's feet with all her strength, rewarded with the sound of snapping bones.

"Special!" With this shout, Pinkie spun and delivered a double hindhoof buck to both of Persephone's eyes.

"Family!" Pinkie enunciated this shout with a punch that shattered Persephone's kneecap.

"Moment!" The next blow landed on Persephone's pudenal nerves, causing her to double up in nauseating pain.

"You!" Pinkie shouted loud, delivering a powerful shoryuken to Persephone's chin that sent her flying into the air. Pinkie then blurred out of sight.

"Stupid!" Pinkie shouted from above Persephone, delivering a downward kick that sent them both shooting back towards the ground, Pinkie's forehooves gripping the black wings.

"Bitch!!!" Pinkie shouted firmly just before they hit the ground, enunciating her expletive by pushing down into the small of Persephone's back just as they hit the ground, combining the force of her kick and the impact with the ground to add leverage to her grip, tearing Persephone's wings from her back as she kicked off in a back flip. Persephone screamed in agony.

"Now go sit in the corner silently until we're done with our reunion, and then we'll deal with you!" Pinkie ordered, pointing to a corner of the field.

Whimpering in pain, Persephone started to crawl away.

"Corner! Quiet! Now!" Pinkie barked out her order. The whimpering ceased. Smiling, Pinkie stuck the wings to her back. "Surprise! I'm a Pegasus now!" Humming happily, she bounced back towards Kratos and Calliope, grinning. She paused, however, when she saw them both staring at her. "What?" she asked in confusion.

They both continued to stare.

"What'd I do?" she asked in confusion. "Was it something I said?" She then gasped in shock and realization. "Oh no! I said a bad word in front of sissy!" She threw herself at Kratos knees, looking up at him beseechingly. "I'm so sorry! Please don't be mad, Daddy?" she begged.

As Kratos shook his head ruefully, Calliope burst into a fit of giggles.

(1) For those of you who have played the game, you'll know some of the monsters in this section are protected by armor that can only be damaged by the Gauntlet of Zeus, which you acquire in the depths of Tartarus. In this story, however, Kratos didn't fight Charon, and wasn't flung to the depths. So he had to utilize other methods.
(2) To quote Nostalgia Critic...
"Ask me what it means! Ask me what it means!"
Unless, you know, you figure it out on your own.

Resolutions

Kratos, Pinkie, and Calliope continued to hold each other and enjoy their reunion until, eventually, they were disturbed by the Elysium Plains shaking as though in an earthquake. Sighing, Pinkie stepped back from the hug. "That'll be Atlas," Pinkie said sadly. She turned to Persephone. "Now, what was your plan again? We're ready to listen."

Persephone, for her part, stayed right where she was, her arms wrapped around her slim body, struggling to reach the bleeding stumps where her wings had been attached, whimpering silently in pain.

"Oh...right...I did that..." Pinkie recalled, rubbing the back of her head. "Well, now how are we supposed to figure out what we're supposed to do?"

Kratos stood up. "Stop Atlas," he said simply.

"But how?" Calliope asked in concern. "We don't even know where he is-"

"He climbs the Tower that holds up the world," a nearby wraith said in a familiar voice.

"Mr. Charon?" Pinkie asked in surprise. "You can use the wraiths?"

"It is difficult, but this is important. Atlas holds Helios in his hand, and will use him to destroy the tower, causing Olympus, the world of man, and the Underworld to be destroyed. All life as we know it - save the Titans chained in the depths of Tartarus - will be destroyed."

Pinkie's jaw dropped as Kratos and Calliope gasped in shock and fear. "Wow," Pinkie said as Calliope buried her face against Kratos' leg, "hasn't Persephone ever heard of di-wait, that won't be a thing for another 2000 years at least." She rubbed her chin. "Daddy, you should go take care of Atlas. I'll keep an eye on Per-"

"No!" Calliope wailed. "Don't go away again, Father!" She clung to Kratos' leg desperately.

As Kratos looked down at her, pain and grief etched into his features, Pinkie stepped forward. "I'll handle this, Daddy!" she said, pulling Calliope away.

"But-" Calliope began, reaching for Kratos.

"Sis," Pinkie explained soothingly, "we have to stop Atlas and save the world. If we don't, you'll cease to be, too. Daddy can't allow that. We may have to leave you behind, but it's to save you-"

"No!" Calliope yelled. "I don't want Father to leave me again! Take me with you!"

Pinkie tilted her head. "You mean...you want to leave the Elysium Fields - the Paradise of the afterlife - and gamble the purity of your soul and future return to this place, just so you can be with Daddy?"

Calliope nodded. "It's not paradise if I can never see Father again," she said firmly, tears beading her eyes as she struggled to hold back weeping.

Pinkie stared at Calliope for a while, then grinned. "Okay!" Pinkie said happily. "I can work with that!"

"You can?" Calliope asked, surprised.

Nodding, Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out the indestructible armor chunks and a strange suit of armor. "That's weird. That's not the armor I stuck in there..." Sticking her head inside the helmet, she squealed happily. "This is even better!" She glanced at the armor chunks. "I also remember grabbing a lot more of those. Weird. But I can work with this!" Grabbing each piece of the armor suit one by one and a chunk of the unbreakable armor, stuffing them into her mane together. When she pulled them back out, each piece of the armor suit had taken on the golden sheen of the armor chunks she had gathered. "Put this on!" she told Calliope, pushing the now golden armor suit towards her.

Calliope blinked. "Umm...okay?" Shrugging her shoulders, Calliope carefully donned the armor suit with Pinkie's help. "This is heavy!" she complained once fully equipped. "I can barely move and it's too hot!"

"That's because you're still subconsciously holding onto your physical form," Pinkie explained. "But you don't actually have one. You're a spirit. If you relax and let go of your physical form, it'll be your spirit holding the weight of the armor...and this armor is designed to be worn by a spirit!"

"How...how do I do that?" Calliope asked.

"Somewhere in your mind is a tension," Pinkie explained, "like a muscle that doesn't want to relax. Find it...and relax it."

Calliope nodded, closing her eyes. Staring through the eye slots of the helmet, Pinkie could still see her face. And then her face vanished, and blue glowing spheres appeared as eyes. "Did it work?" Calliope asked, her voice echoing in the metal.

"Walk about and find out!" Pinkie suggested.

Calliope pushed herself to her feet and took a few steps forward. After a bit, she began running around easily. "Wow!" she cried happily. "This is amazing!"

"Now you can come with us and fight alongside us!" Pinkie said happily. "Come on, now I have to give Daddy back his powers!" The pair rushed over to Kratos.

Kratos, for his part, could only stare in amazement at what happened. "...How?"

Pinkie blinked. "You...you've never asked me that before," she said nervously. "I...I don't know how to explain it..."

Kratos blinked, then shook his head. "Then don't," he said bluntly. Kneeling down, he pulled Calliope into a hug, feeling the armor against his skin. "This is a gift beyond price. I will not question it."

"Father..." Calliope returned the embrace, nearly clocking Kratos in the head with her shield. "Sorry!"

"And you'll need this, Daddy!" she said, pulling out the orb containing the Blades and stuffing it into him.

Kratos' body glowed, the white and red coming back to his body as the Blades chained themselves to his arms. Seeing Calliope stagger back in shock, he closed his eyes against the pain he knew was coming. Calliope remembered the image of the one who had killed her...

Calliope stared up at him. "...the red glow's gone," she said finally.

"Red glow?" Pinkie asked.

"There was a red glow in your eyes before, Father," Calliope explained. "It's...it's gone now." Rushing forward, she hugged him, still only coming up to his waist in her armored form. "You're you again..."

Tears beading his eyes, Kratos rested a hand on the back of the helmet.

"Okay Daddy!" Pinkie called happily. "Now you need to go deal with Atlas." She pulled the wings from her back. "Nobody caught the joke, so I don't need to be a Pegasus. You'll need these more than I will." She stuck the wings to Kratos' back.

Wings of Persephone Acquired
These wings allow you to glide after every jump. Your strength allows you to flap them up to three times for extra altitude.

Nodding, Kratos rushed off to confront Atlas.

"So what do we do?" Calliope asked.

"Address the cause of the problem," she said as she approached Persephone.

Persephone glared up at her. "So now you come to kill me?" she demanded. "I welcome death-"

"Nope!" Pinkie interrupted. "I'm here to save you!"

Persephone stared at her in blank incomprehension. "What?"

"This whole thing is because you're married to a man you don't love and have to live somewhere you don't like, right?" Pinkie asked. "I can help you with that."

Persephone snorted in disbelief. "How?"

Reaching into her mane, Pinkie pulled out a bottle filled with black fog and sparkling lights. "This is a potion made from Morpheus' fog and a few other things. Drink it, and you'll be bound in slumber until your wings grow back in...which will last until one of two things happen."

Persephone stared at her. "What two things?"

"First, until Hades has changed to become a man you can love, and you can live with him outside the Underworld." Pinkie smirked at Persephone's disbelieving laughter. "Second, until civilization's progressed to the point where you can compel Olympus to dissolve the marriage and leave him."

Persephone thought about this for a time. "I tried to destroy the world. Why do this for me?"

"Because otherwise, Daddy has to kill you, which will make an enemy of Hades," Pinkie explained. "Cause if Hades still pines for you when you're so cold to him, he must really love you, and would never forgive your death no matter what the reason."

"It is not love," Persephone scowled.

"You think he crossed Zeus, made an enemy of your mother, and risked war on Olympus, just cause he had the hots for you?" Pinkie asked disdainfully. "You're good looking, but no offense, you're no Aphrodite. You aren't worth that much on looks alone."

Persephone frowned. "You...you truly think he...loves me? That much?"

Pinkie nodded. "Yupperooni! And I'm gonna see to it that he changes to become a man you can love. Trust me, trust me!"

Persephone sighed. "I have nothing to lose. Give me the potion." Accepting it, she downed the bottle's contents in a single gulp. "...not bad..." she mumbled as she fell backwards, sunk in slumber.

With Atlas defeated, chained to support the world he had sought to collapse, Kratos used his new wings to glide back down into Elysium to check on his daughters. He found them standing beside the fallen form of Persephone. "Is she..."

"Sleeping!" Pinkie replied. "And I've got a promise to keep before we go. Speaking of, how are we going to get out of here?"

"I shall give you three a lift," Helios said, coming in to land gently beside the trio. "It it the least I can do for your efforts in rescuing me." He turned to Kratos. "I will honor my sister's word to you, Ghost of Sparta. You have a staunch ally on Olympus."

Not trusting himself to speak, Kratos merely nodded.

Smiling, Helios called up his chariot, energizing the Fire Steeds with his own power so they could manifest in the Underworld. "All aboard," he said calmly.

"Before we head back up," Pinkie requested, "can we swing by Hades' palace? I need to have words with him. That, and we should probably give him his wife to take care of."

Nodding, Helios lifted Persephone onto the chariot as the others clambered aboard. He paused briefly as he took the reins. "Why is Zephyros afraid of you?" he asked Pinkie.

"I dunno," Pinkie admitted. "All I did was flirt with him. Do you think I was too forward, Daddy?"

Helios burst into laughter as he snapped the reins, guiding them to Hades' palace. The God of the Underworld awaited them. As soon as they landed, he rushed to Persephone's side, anguish and grief visible even through the war helm he wore. He gently stroked her still cheek.

"Mr. Hades," Pinkie began, calling his attention. "You know why this all happened, don't you?"

Turning to her, Hades nodded sadly.

"She didn't love you, and yet she is forced to be wed to you," Pinkie explained. "And she's forced to live in a place she despises." She leaned back and crossed her forelegs over her barrel. "If we don't want something like this to happen all over again when she wakes up, we need to fix that, don't we?"

Hades looked to Persephone, then back to Pinkie.

"Oh, I'm not saying you have to dissolve the marriage!" Pinkie hastened to reassure him. "Though if you truly love her and can't fix things otherwise, you really should. But for now, I'm going to teach you a few things about women that should help you get along with her better. You should take some notes."

Hades quickly pulled out a scroll and a quill.

"First off, you need to make her feel loved," Pinkie began. "She doesn't really believe that it's love, she thinks you're only motivated by lust. Show her she's wrong. Take the time to romance her. Give her gifts of flowers and chocolates, other things like that. Find out what she likes and give her those things. Ask Apollo to give you some lessons in writing poetry so you can write her a love poem. Show her that it is your heart that yearns for her, far more than your loins."

Seeing that Hades was taking thorough notes, Pinkie continued. "Second, I know she has to stay with you for half the year, but does she have to stay down here?" At Hades shocked pause, Pinkie began to explain. "I mean seriously, do you really have to oversee every single little detail of the workings of the Underworld? Can't you hire - or make - a few qualified administrators to handle the day-to-day details so you're only needed for the major stuff? If you do that, then you can find some uninhabited island in the overworld, build a palace for you and Persephone to live in when she's staying with you, and keep her happy? Decorate it with some bright colored carpets, wall hangings, and throw pillows-" At Hades grunt, she amended. "Okay, maybe bright colors aren't your thing, but there's a difference between dark and dreary. You can be the first without being the second. Go for some midnight blue, space black, and some constellation patterned chandeliers. Go all out to show her you want her to be happy with you."

Seeing Hades accept these things, she then hopped up to his shoulder. "One last thing, and this is important. From the things I've read wandering around all these temples with Daddy, it seems a lot of guys don't really think about this...but when it comes to intimate moments, make sure she enjoys herself too, know what I mean?" She nudged his armored cheek conspiratorially. "I'm sure Aphrodite can give you a few tips, or maybe some books on the subject?"

Pinkie Pie was oblivious to - and Calliope confused by - the bright blushes staining the cheeks of Kratos, Helios, Hades, and all three Fire Steeds.

"You got all that?" Pinkie Pie asked. Hades nodded. "Good. Now, Daddy and I are going to take Sissy with us back up to the Overworld." When Hades started to object, Pinkie held up a hoof. "First off, her soul's currently slated for Elysium and a paradisic afterlife, right? Well, she said herself that it won't be paradise if she never sees Daddy again, so if you make her stay you are giving her a punishment she hasn't earned, violating your own rules. She'll stay in the Spirit Armor so she can fight alongside Daddy, too. You can consider it repayment for not killing Persephone and giving you all this advice on how to fix your marriage."

Hades let out a loud sigh, then nodded in acquiescence.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said happily. "We're ready to go, Daddy! Ride on, Zephyros!" Pinkie giggled. "Or maybe ride on me?" She quirked her eyebrows at Zephyros flirtatiously.

Before Helios could snap the reins, the three steeds yanked the chariot back towards the Overworld. "I begin to see Zephyros' reasoning," Helios muttered nervously. "Spartan, may I have my shield back?"

Nodding, Kratos returned the shield, kneeling down to embrace his daughters. He was determined to never be parted from them again.

Family

Kratos steadied himself in the hold of the ship. This latest mission from the Gods of Olympus had he and his daughters sailing onto the open sea, in search of a hydra the gods wanted slain. Athena had provided him with a ship, a wind to guide it, and even a couple of her own followers who were more than happy to keep Olympus' Champion company on the long, lonely nights at sea. Unfortunately, even Athena's creativity failed at finding ways to keep Kratos' daughters entertained on ship, as it would take them two weeks to reach the waters in which the hydra swam. Fortunately, Pinkie and Calliope were good at keeping themselves entertained, which provided a good deal of entertainment for Kratos at that.

It had been five years since Pinkie's conniving allowed Kratos to be permanently reunited with Calliope, and the two girls had bonded quite strongly. By behavior alone, no one would ever doubt they were sisters...even thought one was a candy colored talking pony and the other was a disembodied golden suit of armor with glowing blue eyes.

Oddly, despite the reunion, Kratos' nightmares continued to haunt him. Each time he stared into those glowing blue orbs, the guilt assailed him once more, a reminder that it was his own actions which were why the daughter of his blood could be with him only in spirit and metal, rather than flesh. He loved both his daughters too much to let them know this haunted him still, so he had arranged to have them share a bedroom on board, while he took the room next door. A larger bedroom served the ladies Athena had sent with them for Kratos' companionship...although he had to admit, more often than not it was Pinkie and Calliope who went in there for motherly fussing. Despite the strangeness of their appearance, Pinkie never had any trouble wrapping civilians of any age or gender around her hoof just by being herself, and she had apparently taught Calliope a few tricks that were effective despite being a walking suit of armor.

Over the past five years, missions from Olympus had actually been rather few and far between, between one and three a year, and each Kratos was able to complete within a month, including travel time. This left the trio a great deal of time to get used to each other as a family. Kratos had decided to use that time to begin Calliope's warrior training.

Despite starting that training much later than Pinkie, Calliope seemed to be even more naturally talented in the combat arts than Pinkie. While she didn't have Pinkie's reality warping abilities, she was more than capable of keeping up with the pink pony, and could easily outrun Kratos himself in combat. Being a spirit possessing armor designed for the function, she did not experience physical fatigue or other such symptoms, and thus the only limits on her physical capabilities were those which she herself perceived.

On top of that, the armor pieces proved truly indestructible now that they were fused with the golden armor of the Underworld beasts. The only thing that slowed her down at all was when the armor was knocked apart, at which point she would either slowly reassemble or - if she were especially disoriented - wait for either Kratos or Pinkie to put her back together. She had even learned to propel the gauntlet clutching her sword a great distance from herself, mimicking Kratos' use of the Blades of Chaos. She was only able to do so in a straight line, though.

The three of them had practiced their combat until they worked like a well oiled machine, as Pinkie put it. Kratos wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, but he did know that the three of them had 'sparred' once against a platoon of Spartans. Kratos had then had words with the Captain of that platoon, as they had all been knocked down and disarmed in minutes. The Spartans had since stepped up their training, and Kratos had stepped up his efforts at finding a good challenge for himself and his daughters.

And thus had come the order from Athena to slay the hydra. With luck, this foe would prove a more difficult challenge for them. If not, Pinkie had mentioned trying to teach Kratos and Calliope something called 'surfing'. Failing that, Kratos had packed some fishing poles and deep-sea line. Thankfully, he wouldn't need to break that out for rations, as they were well stocked.

Pinkie and Calliope had taken to sailing like ducks to water. Pinkie had eagerly raced all over the ship - even the underside somehow, much to Athena's consternation when she had guided them to the ship - while Calliope, having difficulty with water, confined her explorations to the interior and the deck. As soon as they set sail, though, Pinkie had decided to continue training on shipboard with the added hazards provided in preparation for the Hydra. As a result, the women Athena had sent along were frequently entertained by Kratos, Pinkie, and Calliope swinging by ropes in the case of Pinkie's, chains in the case of Kratos, and invisible bonds between arm brace and gauntlet in the case of Calliope, and swinging at each other with wooden poles, trying to knock each other to the deck of the ship. Athena was glad that she controlled the ship from her statue, as none of the intended crew spared even a moment for steering.

He walked the halls of the ship's hold tonight, though, because the nightmares had come again. They came more frequently at sea, where the storm tossed waves made his sleep restless to begin with. While the pain and torment of the nightmares had lessened over time, the guilt was still as overpowering as ever.

Each night the nightmares had come, he had followed the same pattern for finding restful sleep. First, he would walk to Pinkie and Calliope's room, looking in on their sleeping forms to reassure himself that they were, in fact, still there. With that reassurance against the pain of the nightmares, he would then seek out the two ladies Athena had sent with him, and exhaust himself so his mind would have no strength for dreams the rest of the night.

Tonight, however, as he approached the girls' room, he heard the sounds of dice and small clattering objects. He also heard them speaking.

"So what's this game?" Calliope asked.

"Hmm...well, I thought it was called something else, but I guess it's called 'Merchant Lords'. Basically, we roll the dice, move our tokens around the board, buy stuff with the money-" There was the sound of tin, brass, lead clinking together. "-and try to gain control and get all of everyone else's money. We can play till one only one player has any money, or until we get tired and the winner will be whoever has more."

"The coins are marked like real money," Calliope pointed out, "but it's not worth anything."

"Duh, it's play money!" Pinkie pointed out.

At that point, Kratos opened the door. "Girls?" he asked. "Shouldn't you both be sleeping?"

Both girls looked up at him, Calliope's eyes shining with happiness and a wide smile on Pinkie's face. "Pinkie says there's going to be a huge storm tomorrow," Calliope pointed out. "Too big to be on deck training in. It would even strain her abilities to keep me on ship."

"So we're going to stay up late playing tonight and sleep through the storm tomorrow!" Pinkie said happily.

"You should go play, too, Father," Calliope said, gesturing towards the larger room where the ladies were waiting. "That way you can be relaxed and rest tomorrow."

"The storm will end by sunset," Pinkie pointed out, "and then we can practice night fighting!" Both girls looked really eager at that idea.

Sighing, Kratos shook his head ruefully. "Have fun girls," he said, turning and closing the door behind him. He started to walk towards the other room, but paused after only a few steps. He wasn't sure why he did, but shortly after, he heard Pinkie's voice.

"How come you didn't invite Daddy to play with us?" she asked curiously.

"He's all grown up," Calliope pointed out sadly. "He's too 'mature' for games like these."

"Well, he might have joined!" Pinkie pointed out. "And it would have been fun, to play as a family..."

Kratos leaned against the wall as the boat rocked again. He realized he had two options here. He could continue on and enjoy a night of passion in the arms of the two followers Athena had sent with him. Alternatively, he could turn around and join his daughters in a meaningless, childish game where in all likelihood he would make an absolute fool of himself, and possibly lessen their view of him as a war leader.

The answer was obvious.

"So what piece are you going to be?" Pinkie was asking. "I'm going to play the pony!"

Calliope giggled. "I'm pretty sure that's a war horse," she pointed out. "I think I'll play as the chariot-"

Kratos swung the door open, catching them off guard. Staring down at the board Pinkie had pulled out of nowhere and set up, he saw several ceramic miniatures. Flicking his eyes over them quickly, he proclaimed, "I shall play the helmet!"

As both shock and joy shone in the blue orbs that were Calliope's eyes, Pinkie's grin exceeded physical limitations.

As Kratos rolled the dice late in the game, he was surprised to discover he was actually enjoying the game. Moving his piece, he saw the space he landed on. "Dues Ex?" he asked.

"You take a card!" Pinkie pointed out, indicating a pile of parchment squares also labeled 'Dues Ex'. The other pile was labeled 'Treasury'.

Kratos drew the card. "...go to prison?" Kratos proclaimed indignantly.

"Oh..." Calliope hissed. "Sorry Father." She moved his helmet token into the 'Prison' square.

"No mere walls and bars can hold me!" Kratos proclaimed, shaping his words from the image of 'prison' on the board. "If the prison of the Furies could not hold me, what chance does this one have?"

"You can't do that, Daddy!" Pinkie complained.

"And why not?" Kratos demanded pugnaciously.

"Because..." Pinkie began. She knew she couldn't just say it was against the rules. After all, she broke the laws of physics on a daily basis. "Because you're a helmet!" she cried suddenly. "You don't have any hands or arms to tear the walls apart and break free!"

Kratos grunted. "I see. I suppose that is true." His eyes narrowed shrewdly. "But if I have no hands, how have I been handling money?"

Pinkie looked to Calliope for help.

"Magic mind powers?" she offered helpfully.

Kratos nodded firmly. "Then I shall use the powers of my mind to tear the bars from the walls, and the walls from their moorings! No prison can hold Kratos the Psychic Helmet!"

He had no idea why that proclamation set both of his daughters to rolling on the floor convulsed with laughter, but it was beautiful music to his ears.

Hydra

Kratos awoke slowly, the ship having come to a halt. Blinking his eyes, he pushed himself out of bed as he checked his senses. He could hear the storm raging outside. He could hear the creaking of the ship. He could hear the groans of risen monsters. He could hear the thrashing beneath the waves of the Hydra they had come to slay. He could hear the breathing of his bed companions. He could hear the sounds of battle outside.

He could not hear his daughters sleeping three rooms over.

Growling, he drew his blades and rushed out into battle. "I told them to wait for me!" he growled under his breath. "Those two will be the death of me, someday." Bursting out of the ship, he leapt into the fray, carving away the monsters with his blades. As he fought, he glanced around, looking for some sign of Pinkie and Calliope.

One of the monsters had been impaled on a spar attached to a few railings passing between the ship and other ships that were empty. Attached to the creature was a sign that read, 'We went this way, Daddy!' in bright pink.

Kratos sighed. "Pinkie...that is not how I taught you to leave trail sign..." Shaking his head, he continued onward.

Continuing through a wrecked ship, Kratos bitterly regretted that the magic he had gained in the past had faded over time, the contract binding the Efreet running out and setting it free. Thankfully, Persephone's wings were more durable, and still remained, not that they were useful inside a wrecked ship.

Hearing a scream, he rushed forward to discover Pinkie and Calliope confronting one of the heads of the hydra. The scream, as it turned out, had been the hydra's, as the two had gotten around on either side of the sinuous neck and were happily chopping away, aiming specifically to cause heavily bleeding wounds even as the flesh regenerated. As the creature was distracted, Kratos leapt onto the head and drove his blades into its eye.

It roared in pain, pulling back and withdrawing into the sea. Kratos then turned to his daughters. "What have I told you both about running off without me?"

Calliope kicked her boot against the deck. "We didn't mean to go too far without you."

"We really only meant to deal with the monsters on our own ship," Pinkie explained. "But then one started throwing things at us from another ship, and we had to go across. I left the note, but we didn't mean to go that far. We just...got carried away."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Just stay close to me," he instructed. Seeing the gap covered by only thin spars, Kratos leapt into the air and used Persephone's wings to glide and flap his way across it. Calliope climbed onto Pinkie's back and leapt across in three jumps.

Coming into the next chamber, a voice could be heard. "Stay away! Stay away!"

Coming close, they saw a man in a cage.

"I know who you are, Spartan!" the man proclaimed. "I know what you've done! I would rather die than be saved by you!"

"What has Father done?" Calliope asked.

"And can I save you instead?" Pinkie asked.

The man stared. "Don't you know what he has done? He-"

"Swore a blood oath to Ares, who then distorted his awareness of reality to make him kill enemies, innocents, and his own kin in an attempt to make him the perfect warrior," Pinkie replied. "He also saved the entire planet from being destroyed by Persephone and Atlas when she loosed the titan. Also, this is Calliope, my sister, the daughter he killed who forgives him for it."

"That's right!" Calliope agreed. "I left Elysium behind and can now only walk the world in this possessed armor because it was worth it to be with my Father again."

The man blinked, apparently unsure how to handle this. "...you can save me," he finally told Pinkie.

Grinning, Pinkie popped the lock on the cage. "You can wait on our ship!" Opening a nearby door, she revealed one of the spare rooms on their ship instead of the ship they were currently on. She pushed the man through. "Rest up. We'll take you back to shore as soon as we kill the hydra!" She then closed the door.

"People are weird sometimes," Calliope commented.

Rolling his eyes, Kratos led them on.

Not long after, a second Hydra head punched through the deck of the ship they were on in the middle of a flock of flesh eating bats. The flock's numbers had been greatly reduced from Pinkie and Calliope leaping about and chopping them to bits. After the three of them carved away at the hydra, the head withdrew, allowing the trio to continue on through the underwater passage the head had left behind. Out of the water, they continued onward. Pinkie took the time to grab every human they came across and - somehow - push them back onto their ship.

Coming across a large group of humans, one addressed them. "You have come! The visions, they were true! The gods came to me and said their champion would save us from the Hydra! But you're too late! We're pinned down-"

"No you're not!" Pinkie said. "I threw Calliope at the archers. She's invincible, so she should have them dealt with in-"

"All done!" Calliope called across to Pinkie, waving a monster's decapitated skull.

"See? Easy!" Pinkie said happily.

"We'll handle the hydra," Kratos informed the man. "For now, evacuate to our ship. It is under the gods' protection."

"Thank you!" the man proclaimed, calling for his companions to follow him back to Kratos' ship. Kratos used his wings to glide across to where Calliope awaited them, knowing Pinkie would make her own way across somehow.

Reaching the deck of the next ship, they found the Captain's quarters locked, with the sounds of women screaming for help behind it. "It's locked!" Pinkie complained.

"...I wanna try something," Calliope said softly. Stepping up to the door, she inserted her gauntlet into the keyhole. There was a brief clinking sound. "It worked!" she said, rotating her hand and turning the lock. She then extracted her gauntlet, which had morphed into the shape of a key before morphing back. The women quickly fled through a door Pinkie opened in the air back to their own ship.

"Sweet!" Pinkie said happily. "But we gotta hurry to find everyone else and kill the hydra!"

"We can only move so fast," Kratos pointed out.

"Wanna bet?" Pinkie grinned. Grabbing both Calliope and Kratos, she zipped away, seeming to blur through the air.

Passing through an archway, Poseidon's voice could be heard. "Kratos before you reach-"

"Thanksforthemagicwe'lluseitwellgottarunpeopletosave!" Pinkie said quickly as they blurred through the archway, the magic of Poseidon's rage being absorbed into Kratos as they passed.

Poseidon blinked for a time. "Well, that was rude," he grumbled. Then he saw something left behind, something colorful and soft, with a note attached that read, "Sorry! Have a cupcake!" Picking it up from Olympus, he took a bite. After several minutes of savoring the taste, he smiled. "Apology accepted."

Reaching where the main body of the hydra was attacking, Pinkie took quick stock of the situation. "Dad, you take the giant head! It's healing the little ones. Calliope and I will keep the little ones from interfering!"

Nodding, Kratos leapt up the mast to confront the giant head, the other humans quickly running for it.

As Calliope fought her head, she noticed something upsetting. "The wounds heal too fast!" she called to Pinkie. "We need to find someway to stop them from healing!"

"Broken mast!" Pinkie called back, pointing at the sharp spur of wood still attached to the ship.

"Right!" Calliope called back. Leaping to the mast, she threw her gauntlet up to seize one on the fins on her hydra head. Using her spiritual force, she then dragged both gauntlet and hydra head back to her, slamming the broken mast spur through its eyes.

Pinkie, meanwhile, had angled some hanging blades to pin her hydra head to the deck. Up above, Kratos had managed to break the top of the mast and was struggling to drag the largest head down to be impaled. Seeing him struggle, Calliope leapt to Pinkie's back, and Pinkie leapt onto the hydra's neck, forcing the head downward with the weight of their impact.

With the primary head impaled and dead, the lesser heads exploded. "It seems we're finished here," Kratos said calmly.

"We need to get everyone we rescued safely to Athens," Calliope pointed out. "We're going to run out of rations on the way."

"I brought our fishing poles," Kratos pointed out. "We'll be able to fish for extra meat."

Pinkie glanced up at the hydra. "Is hydra meat edible?" she asked.

Kratos glanced up at the beast. "...I suppose," he admitted. "But we'd never be able to cook that much-"

Pinkie grabbed the hydra's corpse and shoved it into her mane. After a time, she yanked out a huge pack of smoked hydra meat. "I asked Zephyros to cook it for me. He's such a sweetie when he isn't running from me in terror for some reason."

Blinking, Kratos shrugged. "Well, let's take it back to the ship, and then set sail for Athens."

Athens

As the ship sailed across the ocean, Kratos sleep was disturbed by the carousing of the survivors of the hydra attack they had rescued. Having escaped certain doom when no help was thought coming, and then being better fed than they were on their own ships - complete with an unearthly delight in the form of cupcakes provided by Pinkie Pie - they were deep in celebration. As Kratos had no desire for wine at this time - he had already learned it had no effect on dulling his nightmares - he had let them drink of the casks Athena had provided for him. As he heard the raucous celebration through the walls of the Captain's Chambers - where he had just recently risen from bed with all the rescued women of age, who had desired to properly thank the God's Champion who had rescued them - he decided he would have better rest on the deck, where the torrential rains would deaden the sounds of the partying below decks.

As he climbed to the deck, he was rather surprised to hear the pinging of heavy rain on hollow metal. Glancing over, he barely recognized the figure leaning against the mast. "Calliope?"

She looked up at him, her blue orbs of eyes twinkling happily. "Hello Father!" she said happily. "What brings you up on deck?"

Kratos shrugged his shoulders. "I felt sleeping in torrential rain would be more relaxing than with the noise below decks."

Calliope giggled. "We felt the same way."

"We?"

There was a clanging from the inside of Calliope's chest plate. "I'm in here, Daddy!" Pinkie said. "It's a bit too wet out there for me right now. I left my snorkel in the cabin, so swimming's a no go."

"Then why don't you-" Kratos began, before shaking his head. "Never mind. But I thought you enjoyed parties?"

"Not the kind they're getting up to down there!" Pinkie replied. "Human males do not look good naked! I like a guy with a nice coat of fur, myself."

"Some of them were kinda cute..." Calliope pointed out.

Kratos decided to veer his mind away from that discussion. Noticing a slight glow around the statue of Athena at the prow, he realizes there is someone else privy to this discussion. "It's been ten years, Athena," he addressed the statue respectfully as the glow fully infused it, temporarily becoming the goddess's physical manifestation. "I've done everything the gods have asked of me, and then some."

"Yeah!" Pinkie added happily. "We even have some refugees coming to Athens with us!"

"You can probably hear them through the deck," Calliope pointed out.

"I'm afraid Athens is no longer safe, Kratos," Athena replied. "My brother, Ares, has attacked my city."

"Ares..." Kratos growled under his breath.

"Wait!" Calliope asked. "Ares himself? Isn't that sort of thing against the rules? Aren't the gods only allowed to physically manifest like that for battle when summoned by their worshipers? I'm pretty sure I read something like that in one of Persephone's books in Elysium."

"Indeed," Athena replied. "The gods may only enter battle in the mortal realms when summoned and backed by their worshipers. That is the rule laid down by Zeus to maintain balance in the world. Ares refutes that rule in defiance of the will of Olympus, attacking my city with only his armies of monsters as backing. In doing so he has earned the ire of Olympus. However, I cannot counter him directly, for it is also against the laws of Olympus for the gods to make war on each other. Thus I must turn to you, Kratos, to bring an end to Ares' ambitions. Find the Oracle of Athens; she will guide your steps."

"So Daddy's finally going to make that meanie Ares pay for tricking him all those years ago?" Pinkie asked. "About time! Daddy needs the closure!"

"But we need to find a place for the people we saved from the Hydra," Calliope pointed out.

"Let us first sail to Sparta," Kratos suggested. "It's a longer journey, but Sparta is smaller than Athens, and safer from Ares' forces. He will not attack a city dedicated to him."

"And I could take the time to rearm," Pinkie pointed out. "I'm starting to run low on knives."

"That would be wise," Athena replied. "I shall ask Poseidon to-"

At that exact moment, the ocean currents and the storm shifted, pushing the ship at a rapid gait in the direction of Sparta.

"Thanks Posie!" Pinkie called out. The waves seemed to chuckle indulgently against the sides of the ship, and the wind seemed to laugh amongst the masts.

"Athena..." Kratos began. "If I do this, if I defeat Ares, will my nightmares finally end?"

Calliope spun to stare at her Father. No sound came from either sister.

Athena was silent for a time. "Do this, Ghost of Sparta, and I promise you your life will be greatly improved." Before Kratos could ask for clarification, the sense of Athena's presence faded.

The trio turned to face Sparta in silence, all lost in their own thoughts.

After dropping the refugees off in Sparta and rearming - Calliope also decided to grab some extra armaments - and stocking up on supplies for any civilians they managed to save from Ares assault as they passed through the city, they set sail for Athens.

As they entered the city, they found few true obstacles to their progress working as a team, and were able to progress easily. After riding an elevator, two soldiers ran towards them.

"Run! Run!" one shouted. "The beasts have taken Athens!"

At that moment, two Minotaurs charged up behind them along the scaffolding. One threw his battle ax like a discus. The soldier who turned back to look was able to duck it...and Calliope's gauntlet seized the haft of the ax, yanking it from its flight path before it could decapitate the other soldier. The minotaurs froze in shock.

"This could come in handy," Calliope said happily.

"Bad pun, Sis!" Pinkie chided. To the soldiers she said, "Hurry to the docks! We've cleared a path, and our ship is safe!"

"Thank the gods!" one soldier said as he ran by.

The one who was nearly decapitated stopped next to Calliope. "My thanks, warrior," he said before rushing on.

After slaying the minotaurs, the trio continued into the city. After a time, though, Pinkie realized Calliope's silence wasn't just concentrating on the battle. "What's bugging you, Sis?"

Calliope sighed as she beheaded another slew of monsters with her new ax. "I kind of wish I had my flesh and blood body again."

Pinkie tilted her head, hopping onto the ax with the next swing to leap from it, plunging one of her knives into another minotaur's skull before snapping its neck. "Really? But you're indestructible like this! Invincible!"

"But all I can do is fight," Calliope pointed out, splitting another monster down the middle with her sword. "I can't really have...fun."

"I get the feeling you don't mean our board games," Pinkie offered, yanking two more guards through a broken gate and away from monsters trying to kill them, before shoeing them to the ship.

"That's fun, but not the kind of fun I mean," Calliope agreed. "I mean, after we saved all those women from the hydra, they all thanked Father and he had real fun. But I can't get that sort of thanks from the cute young guys we save."

"I see what you mean," Pinkie replied, diving under a massive ogre, castrating it as she passed between its legs. "I never even got that special kind of thank you from Zephyros or his brothers."

"That's because you scared them off by coming on too strong, sister," Calliope pointed out. "But without a flesh and blood body, I'll never get to have an orgy! Or even have sex!"

"Damn, that is rough," Pinkie replied. "I'll see what I can do about that."

"Thanks Sis!" Calliope said happily, beheading her own ogre.

Kratos did his best to not comment - or even hear - his daughters' conversation as he fought the third ogre. He steeled himself to just keep fighting monsters, and not think about his little girls trying to seduce the soldiers they were rescuing.

For some reason, he suddenly felt much less motivation to rescue the soldiers.

Author's Note

The conversation between Athena, Kratos, Calliope, and Pinkie was heavily inspired by this comment by Leo Archon.

Hot or Not

As the trio continued through the city, they battled Medusa at Aphrodite's direction. The battle proved incredibly easy, as Medusa's instincts were to target the smallest foe first...which just so happened to be Calliope. Her claws bounced off Calliope's armor, and her stone gaze had no effect on a spirit. Medusa, confused that her assault had no effect, continued to assault only Calliope, leaving herself wide open to Kratos' and Pinkie's attacks.

After Aphrodite bestowed her blessing on Kratos, granting him the ability to wield Medusa's gaze, Pinkie spoke to Aphrodite while Kratos was testing it out. "Say, Aphrodite," she said curiously, "you're the goddess of love, beauty, sex, and all that, right?"

"Pleasure and procreation, yes," Aphrodite corrected.

"So you're the one who's in charge of things like physical attraction, right?"

"That side of things is tended to by my son Eros," Aphrodite pointed out. "I do work with him to determine the rules, however. Why do you ask?"

Pinkie scratched her ear. "How does it work?"

"Everyone in the world is geared to find different things attractive," Aphrodite explained. "There are some generalities, but everyone's tastes are different. In this way, no matter how one develops, somewhere there is a selection of someones that find one attractive from which a proper mate can be selected."

"Wow," Pinkie replied in amazement. "That's...that's pretty deep."

"What brought this question on, Pinkie?" Aphrodite inquired.

Pinkie sighed in resignation. "Well, Sis has been talking about how some of the guys we rescue are cute, and Daddy plainly is attracted to a lot of the women we rescue, but I just don't get it. And my only romantic encounter so far is Zephyros, but he gets scared whenever I get lovey-dovey. He seems to only want to be friends. I like being friends, but..." She shook her head. "I just don't get it."

Aphrodite smiled. Leaning towards Pinkie, she whispered, "The reason Zephyros and his brothers flee when you flirt is because it is a mark of shame amongst stallions to not show arousal around an attractive mare...and they desire to keep their relationship a secret."

Pinkie blinked. "Wait, you mean they're-" Her eyes widened, and she blushed. "Wow. That's...that's kinda hot."

Aphrodite smiled indulgently. "But why do you desire to know how human attraction and desire works?"

Pinkie shrugged. "Well, I kinda wanna talk boys with Sis, but we'd be talking completely different boys. I mean, she's talking humans, I'm talking colts...feels like there'd be some awkwardness of conversation."

"Not always," Aphrodite said playfully. "When you have time, look into some of the stories of Zeus' exploits..." She chuckled. "But in the meantime, you could always ask Calliope about what she finds attractive, and then talk about that."

Pinkie's eyes lit up. "That's it! Thanks Aphrodite!" She gave Aphrodite a cupcake in gratitude.

Aphrodite eagerly snatched up the treat, plainly eager for her chance to try the delicacy as word of it had obviously spread around Olympus. Her presence faded as she moaned rather expressively from the taste.

"Daddy! Sis!" Pinkie called out, racing over to them as she pulled out a scroll and quill. "Can we do something as we continue through Athens?"

Kratos put Medusa's head away as he turned to Pinkie. "What is it?"

"Well, I kinda want to understand how attraction works a bit better for humans," she explained, "and what you two in particular find attractive. So as we continue through Athens, each time we rescue a civilian, I want you to rate the females Daddy, and you the males Sis, on a scale of 1 to 10."

Kratos and Calliope looked at each other for a time, then shrugged. "Sure," Calliope agreed.

"Why not?" Kratos relented.

As they continued, clearing the path completely as they went, each time they reached a civilian who was still alive - which due to their speed, happened quite frequently - Kratos would rate the females, and Calliope would rate the males, and Pinkie would take notes.

"Hmm...she was a 7," Kratos said as the first woman raced back to the boat.

"Maybe a...four?" Calliope offered as a much older man rushed off.

"Solid 5," Kratos stated as an older woman rushed by.

"Ugh, 2," Calliope said as a balding fat man puffed away.

"Hmm...she was a nine," Kratos commented, his eyes following a rather voluptuous girl just entering the full flower of adulthood. She paused in her running to turn back and wink flirtatiously at her rescuer, causing Pinkie and Calliope to giggle.

"Hubba hubba, 10!" Calliope said, the blue orbs that were her eyes turning into pink hearts.

"AHHHH!" the 10 screamed, turning and fleeing back towards the boat in terror.

As Calliope sighed sadly, Kratos gave serious consideration to decapitating the young man for so hurting his daughter's feelings. He eventually decided against it. One, Calliope probably wouldn't like it. Two, it had been a long time since he'd actually killed a human when there wasn't need. He wanted to keep that going, if only for the example it set Pinkie and Calliope. He dealt with his irritation by knocking a statue down instead.

After a brief illusionary message from the Oracle of Athens, Kratos spoke up. "I'd say she'd make a solid 8." With that and the giggles it spawned from his daughters, they continued to the road to Athens.

As they entered the Road, they could plainly see Ares off in the distance, laying waste to the defending armies. Kratos and Calliope did their best to ignore the rampaging God. Pinkie, however, stared up at the god in anger. This was the one who had caused Daddy such pain. This was the one who sent Sis to the Underworld. This was the one who brought such pain into the world.

"Pinkie!" Kratos called back. "Keep up!"

Turning, Pinkie raced to catch up to her family. However, one thought burned in her mind.

Ares would pay.

After a rather uneventful journey through the outskirts of Athens, rescuing and rating several civilians in the process, Pinkie was beginning to get a sense of what each of her family members found attractive. Compiling her results, she went over what she'd determined.

Kratos appeared to appreciate females who were physically fit; had pleasant, unmarked faces; large breasts; and a shapely rear. Oddly enough, most females they encountered - especially the well off - tended heavily towards the chubby, although that wasn't to Kratos' tastes. As best as she was able to determine, amongst most Greeks, that the larger frame was a sign of wealth, as only the wealthy could afford to eat enough to put on weight. In the case of Spartans, however, men and women were put through intense physical training, so the only places fat might gather in a Spartan woman were in her breasts or rear, the former more likely than the latter. Obviously, as a Spartan Kratos was geared to be attracted to other Spartans through generations of selective breeding for physical prowess.

Calliope's tastes focused more on youth. She preferred men who were clean shaven as opposed to those who grew beards. She also preferred physical fitness to girth, and a preference more towards overall fitness as opposed to the heavily muscled look some soldiers went for. She also apparently found battle scars exciting, but not on the face.

According to her data, Kratos and Calliope were Spartans, geared to be attracted to other Spartans, or at least those who were Spartan-like. While not very surprising results, they were quite informative.

Having reached these conclusions, Pinkie began the next step of her research. As they rescued each civilian, she attempted to predict what Kratos and Calliope would rate them. Since she didn't want either of them trying to give her false encouragement when she was actually mistaken, she merely jotted down what she thought their ratings would be. Out of 15 rescued civilians of each gender, she was dead on with 11, and only off by one or two up or down on the remaining four.

During the course of the study, they also encountered a few new varieties of monsters that served Ares. The massive Cyclopes were easy to deal with, as Calliope proved rather adept at launching her gauntlet out to rip their eyes from their heads, which killed them instantly. The blade armed wraiths that burrowed through the ground were slightly more difficult, but Pinkie found that yanking them out of the ground solved most of the issues, as well as leaving the wraiths confused long enough for Kratos or Calliope to bisect them. Gorgons also proved easy to deal with, as one swing of Calliope's sword severed their heads from their necks while Pinkie or Kratos held their attention.

She was feeling rather pleased with her understanding of human attractiveness, at least in terms of what her Daddy and Sis liked, although she still didn't see humans as attractive to herself. Not that she saw that as an issue. Filing away her happy results, she smiled as they continued across Athens' rooftops.

After a brief detour where Pinkie traded Zeus a cupcake for giving the three of them the power to throw lightning bolts, they continued on their journey, using the lightning to electrify the lever a young man who had been holding pulled, causing him to release it and extend the bridge he'd been holding closed against them out of fear of the monsters, his cowardice dropping his from a 6 to a 3. Zeus had proved to enjoy cupcakes nearly as much as Aphrodite.

After further journeying, they spied a woman Kratos recognized. "Oracle!" he called out.

She turned to face him. "Kratos! Praise Athena you've arrived!" The monsters she'd turned away from lunged for her. Two harpies nearly grabbed hold of her, but javelins thrown by Pinkie and Calliope took them down before they could drag her off. The trio quickly crossed the broken bridge to her side.

"Come on!" Pinkie interrupted her before she could speak. "Let's get to somewhere safe before we talk. We'll protect you, don't worry!"

The Oracle nodded. "My Temple. Once it is cleared of monsters, it will be safe from further intrusion."

In agreement of a course of action, the group progressed to the Temple, quickly clearing it of the harpies and other monsters that had nested there which charged out upon their arrival. Pinkie managed to keep the Oracle safe during the fight by the simple expedient of putting her on her back. After the fight, they progressed towards the Temple.

As they approached the Temple, a scratchy laugh startled them. "Good my boy, good," an old man said as he climbed out of a pit. "Athena has chosen wisely, I knew it was so."

"Who are you?" Kratos demanded defensively, placing himself between the old man and his daughters.

"So you have the-"

"He's definitely a one, right Calliope?" Pinkie asked.

"Definitely," Calliope agreed.

"Show some respect for your elders, and a poor gravedigger," the old man scolded.

"Sorry," Pinkie apologized. Pulling out a cupcake, she started to hand it to him as an apology, but paused. "...have I given you a cupcake before?" she asked.

The old man glanced back and forth. "...no..."

Pinkie stared suspiciously at him for a while, then smiled. "Okie dokie lokie!" She quickly handed him the cupcake, which he just as quickly devoured.

"Who is this grave for?" Kratos asked curiously.

"Why, you, Ghost of Sparta," the old man said as he finished the cupcake. "And possibly the others, though doubtful. Either way, with luck I'll have it complete before you have need of it." He chuckled softly. "All will become clear in time. But don't worry, when all seems lost, I will be there to help."

Mightily disturbed, Kratos quickly escorted his daughters away from the old man, rushing into the Temple after the Oracle.

After completely clearing out the Temple, the group adjourned to the courtyard behind it to talk. Seeing the Oracle was slightly out of breath, Pinkie quickly arranged a comfortable seat for her. "Here, rest first, then we'll talk." She then pulled a glass of wine and a cupcake out of her mane, pressing them on the Oracle. "Have a drink and a snack."

As the Oracle ate and drank, she looked down at Pinkie with a conflicted expression. "Why must the Oracle's Bane be so thrice-damned likable?" she asked absently.

"Oracle's...Bane?" Pinkie asked sadly.

"It is the term the Oracle's have for you, Pink One," the Oracle explained. "For some reason, our foresight is blind to the influence you exert over the course of events. For ones who make our place supporting our society by reading the future, that is both frustrating and dangerous."

Pinkie kicked her hoof at the ground. "Sorry I do that," she whimpered. "I don't mean to...whatever causes that."

The Oracle sighed. "I don't genuinely believe it is your fault, especially not after knowing you now. You would not deliberately harm others without reason."

"Several dozen Persians in Hades might debate that," Kratos teased, causing Pinkie to giggle and wave her hooves at him playfully.

After the Oracle had recovered - Kratos and Pinkie took the time to eat food Calliope had brought with, stored in the chest compartment of her armor - they received their instructions on how to fight Ares.

Go through the gates to the desert. There begins the path to Pandora's Box, the only item with the power to kill a God.

With those instructions echoing in their minds, the trio proceeded to the desert.

Having Fun Storming the Castle

After a brief sojourn through the Sewers of Athens - which caused no problems for the trio - they made their way out of the city and into the Desert of Lost Souls. As they entered, Kratos discovered some difficulty seeing through the sandstorm that covered the desert. "Stay close to me," he ordered his daughters.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie replied happily, falling into step beside him.

"What's wrong, Father?" Calliope asked from her seat on her equine sister's back.

"The sandstorm makes it quite difficult to see," he explained. "I don't want anyone getting lost-"

"I can see just fine, Father," Calliope replied.

Kratos smiled. "Then you take point," he instructed. "Guide us through the desert."

"Wish we could be guided through a dessert," Pinkie complained. "It was bad enough getting sewage in my mane and tail, but now sand in my mouth? P-tooie! I'm not normally finicky, but I need a bath badly. Pretty sure I stink to Olympus!"

"I would not know," Calliope replied. "My armor doesn't have a nose."

"I can't smell you over my own stench," Kratos admitted. "I, too, hope we find our way to a river or lake soon."

"Hope we don't offend Athena," Calliope commented, pointing to a statue. "She probably has instructions for us."

As they approached the statue, it was infused by the goddess's essence, and she spoke to them. "Kratos, the journey forward is perilous, but one you three must complete if you are to have any hope of saving Athens."

"The Oracle spoke of Pandora's Box," Kratos replied. "Can it be real?"

"The box exists," Athena replied. "It is the most powerful weapon a mortal can wield." She paused, glancing towards Pinkie, who had become distracted by some gold dust mixed in with the desert sand. "Though between you and Olympus," Athena whispered, "we are unsure how well that applies to Pinkie. Some of us are not entirely certain she qualifies as mortal."

Remembering how Pinkie had seized one of the spiked war hammers from the minotaurs in the sewers and then proceeded to swing it rapidly up and down like a crazed carpenter while strange music played from nowhere, her swings causing the monsters she hit to go flying about the sewers, bouncing off the walls erratically as they broke apart, he nodded in agreement. He wasn't entirely sure where Pinkie fell in the mortal/immortal spectrum either. "And with such a weapon," he added, returning to the original subject of the discussion, "we could defeat Ares?"

"With the box, many things become possible," Athena replied.

Kratos turned to glance at Pinkie.

"No, even the box cannot fully explain the capabilities of your equine daughter," Athena interpreted his gaze. "Still, given its power, it is hidden well, far across the Desert of Lost Souls. There is safe passage, but only those who hear and follow the siren's song will discover it. You must find the sirens, Kratos. Only they can guide you to Kronos, the Titan."

"A Titan lives?" Kratos asked in shock.

"Are we supposed to fix that?" Pinkie asked. "I mean, we already had to rechain Atlas. Well, Daddy did, Calliope and I were handling Persephone at that point." She gasped. "Does this mean we get to try tangling with a Titan this time?"

"Nay," Athena countered. "Kronos is the last Titan in the land of the living, and he is serving his punishment as assigned by Olympus. Zeus has commanded him to wander the desert endlessly, the Temple of Pandora chained to his back, until the swirling sands rip the very flesh from his bones. Stay true to the song of the Sirens-"

"Wait!" Calliope interrupted. "Kronos is huge, right? Large enough to have a Temple chained to his back, right? I mean, we did see how big Atlas is. So, wouldn't the falls of his hands and feet shake the ground?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie said happily. "We don't need to follow the sirens! We can just follow the shakes!"

"The part of the desert where Kronos wanders is blocked by a gate that only the siren's song can open," Athena explained. "And only by opening the gate can you find your way through the swirling sands."

"But I can see through the sandstorm," Calliope mentioned. "I can even see the gate right over there!" She pointed to the gate off in the distance.

"So how about we each corral us a siren and meet up at the gate?" Pinkie suggested. "Then we can figure out how to make them open the gate!"

Kratos nodded. "Be careful, both of you."

As the three dispersed into the desert, Athena stared through the eyes of the statue. "...I wasn't finished..." Spying an apology cupcake at the foot of the statue, she snatched it up before it was contaminated by sand, devouring it rapidly.

Pinkie and Calliope had little difficulty snatching up two of the three sirens in the desert. Calliope merely grabbed hers by the throat and dragged it to the gate. Pinkie led hers there with a cupcake as bait before sitting on it. As they waited for Kratos, however, an ethereal Siren shape flowed into the gate, and one of three crystals became illuminated.

Shortly thereafter, Kratos came up, looking frustrated. "I was...unable to corral the siren," he explained. "I was forced to kill it."

Blinking, Pinkie turned to Calliope. Nodding, they promptly slew their sirens, Pinkie with a knife across the throat, Calliope by breaking its back. The two spirits flowed into the gate, the crystals illuminated, and the gate opened, sliding down into the ground.

Pinkie grinned widely. "Let's go!" she cried, bouncing happily through the gate. Kratos and Calliope followed. After passing through the small, temple like structure behind the gate, the trio came to a large horn before a mass of shifting sand. Blowing the horn caused a path to open through the shifting sand, leading the way forward.

At the end of the path, another horn was visible, but a sudden storm of sand made it vanish. Three sirens arose from shadows, plainly intent on avenging their fallen sisters. The fight didn't last long, however, as Calliope had learned how to throw her purloined massive battle ax like a discus in a manner that would cause it to return to her, much as the minotaur she'd taken it from had. The sweeping path bisected the three sirens even as they were screaming their battle cry. "Don't they ever shut up?" Calliope demanded in frustration.

The sand swirled again, and the horn was once more present. When Kratos blew the horn, Kronos could be seen in the distance, the massive structure of the Temple rising from his back. As he approached, the true dimensions of both Titan and Temple became more and more clear. He didn't even seem to see them as he walked by.

"So...how do we get up there?" Calliope asked.

"Whee!" Pinkie cried out, swinging happily from one of the chains hanging from the Temple.

"I guess we climb," Kratos suggested.

"Alright," Calliope replied. Leaping out, she seized another swinging chain. "Whee!" she cried happily as she swung.

Kratos blinked, then sighed. Leaping out, he seized a third hanging chain. "Whee..." he drolled in his dull monotone, before beginning the three day climb to the Temple.

The Temple - Part One

As the trio reached the top of the mountain, they began their journey into the actual temple proper. The path seemed rather straightforward at first, until they cam to a gate blocking the way forward. After following a looping path, they came to a man they spotted from the gate, throwing dead bodies into a pyre.

As they approached, the man turned towards them. His body was half decayed, as though he were halfway dead. "So, you think you can conquer the Temple of the Gods, do you?" he asked dismissively. "I admit, you're the first to come as a group instead of alone, but it won't do you any good." He ducked as a harpy flew overhead carrying a body. "It's never been done, you know. Sooner or later the harpies will bring what's left of you back for me to burn." The harpy dropped the body into the pyre beside him. He walked up to them. "The gods hid Pandora's Box in here so no mortal would ever claim its power, and yet year after year I open the gate for more and more soldiers and place more and more bodies on these pyres. If I were you, I'd leave now."

Pinkie bounced up happily. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"

The man blinked in surprise. "No one's ever asked me that before, in all the time I've been here, and that's as long as I can remember." He tilted his head back, staring back over the years. "So long ago, that I've forgotten my name, or how I came to be here." He looked down at Pinkie. "You can call me the Burning Man, I suppose."

"Pleased to meetcha, Burning Man!" Pinkie replied. "This is my sister Calliope, and my Daddy Kratos!" Reaching into her mane, she pulled out a cupcake. "Have a cupcake to celebrate our new friendship!"

He stared at the cupcake. "What...do I do with it?"

Pinkie giggled. "You eat it, silly!"

"You really should," Kratos pointed out. "It is the most delicious thing you will ever taste."

The Burning Man frowned sadly. "I...appreciate the gesture, but I have long since lost the ability to taste. I was the first to attempt the Temple, and the first to fail. As punishment, the gods brought me partially back to tend to the bodies of the dead-"

Pinkie reached a hoof into his mouth and pulled on something. "Can you taste now?"

The Burning Man blinked in surprise, then tried to move his tongue. "Ahh...gno," he said around her hoof.

Frowning, Pinkie reached into the hole in his belly, reaching around to pull on something. "How about now?"

"Umm...no."

Grabbing the stump of his right arm, she pumped it a few times like a spigot. "How about now?"

His eyes popped open. "I...I can! How did you do that?"

"I just tweaked the magic keeping you alive a bit," Pinkie explained. "Now eat the cupcake!"

Smiling, the Burning Man bit into the confection. He moaned in pleasure. "All these years of torment were worth it for this..." He devoured it completely. "So good..."

"Have you gotten every last bit of it out of your mouth?" Pinkie asked.

"Regrettably," he admitted. Pinkie then jerked his arm again. "I...I can't taste!"

"Yup! Wouldn't want you to be constantly tasting these ashes, they're yucky!" Pinkie made a gagging sound. "And this way, your last memory of taste - which you'll carry with you as your most prominent memory however long you have this job - will be the taste of my cupcake!" Reaching into the back of his skull, she twisted something else. "And now you can relive the memory of that taste whenever you want."

The Burning Man's eyes went wide. "T-thank you, dear friend," he breathed, his voice making it plain he'd be pouring tears if he could. "Please, must you progress into the Temple? I...I do not want to find your body delivered to me by the harpies."

"Don't worry, silly billy!" Pinkie reassured him. "We're going to be fine!"

He sighed. "A...alright." Picking up a skull, he flung it at a roosting pair of harpies, who then pulled the gate up. "May the gods grant you strength to conquer the perils that lay before you," he prayed fervently.

"Oh, they will!" Calliope reassured him. "They sent us here, after all."

The Burning Man managed a smile, a little bit of hope as he watched them head for the gate. "Good luck, Spartans," he whispered, blue light briefly flaring from each part of his body where Pinkie had tweaked.

When two large ogre like beasts ascended from below the cliff, Pinkie dealt with them rather expediently. "Hey!" she yelled at them. "Look over there!" She pointed off the cliff.

The dumb monsters promptly turned around, raising a hand to shade their eyes. Following Pinkie's lead, Kratos and Calliope kicked them in the rear, making them fall face first off the mountain.

When another one rose out of the ground, Calliope decided to try. "Quick, they went that way!" she called, pointing off the cliff.

The monster promptly charged over the side before screaming as it fell to its death.

Kratos walked over to the cliff edge, looking down in disbelief. When a fourth arose, he looked up at it and did the first thing that came to mind. Pointing down the cliff, he said, "We're over there."

Nodding, the monster promptly dove off the edge. Pinkie glared up at Kratos. "Really, Daddy?"

He shrugged. "It was all I could think of."

Rolling her eyes, Pinkie approached the gate, only to freeze as she saw the stairs leading up into the sky. "...stairs?"

Kratos blinked. "Are...are you alright, Pinkie?"

Her teeth gritted as she stared at the staircase.

Reaching into her mane, Pinkie yanked out a dragon, tugging on the tip of its tail and the top of its neck to stretch its body full length.

"Fus ro dah!" The shout was forced from the dragon's throat, blasting a path straight into the temple through the staircase straight into the depths.

When Pinkie released the terrified beast, it dove back into her mane.

Pinkie shook her head. "No, that would be too silly. Far, far too silly. Still, helps get the stress out to imagine!" She promptly began bouncing up the staircase.

Kratos wasn't sure what caused that behavior in Pinkie, but he was glad she wasn't going to rant about stairs like she did in the Temple of Helios. Sighing ruefully, he followed his daughters up the stairs.

After clearing the entrance chamber to the temple of monsters, the trio entered into a large ringlike chamber. Pinkie examined it carefully. "...the box is in there," she said, pointing straight forward.

"Likely," Kratos admits.

"And we're going to have to explore the whole temple in order to unlock these rings so we can open the path?" she asked.

"That seems a viable conclusion."

She sighed. "Alright. We might as well get started." Turning, she led the way to the right.

At the only open door they could find, they found a path blocked by several spiked walls slamming together repeatedly. Calliope walked the path, ignoring the crushers as they were unable to damage her. Once she got to the end, she killed a few skeletal archers before throwing a switch. The spiked walls retracted completely into the walls, and a platform lowered down back in the main room. A statue also extended a grip in the chamber she was in. When she pulled it, the two statues moved together, shaping a crystal that released an intense beam of light back towards the central chamber. When it interacted with nothing, the statues moved back to their original position.

Returning to the main room, they discovered that pulling the crank made the entire room rotate. "This is going to be a long Temple," Calliope sighed. Pinkie nodded in agreement.

Rotating the Temple around, the trio eventually found an altar path dedicated to Artemis. As they approached, the goddess's face appeared in the light. "Kratos, the gods need more of you. You have learned to use the Blades of Chaos well, but they alone will not carry you to the end of your task. I offer you the very blade I used to slay a Titan. Take this gift, and use it to complete your quest."

A broadsword with a blade shaped like a bolt of lightning, it's edge running with that primal force, appeared in his hands. As he swept it around to test the weight and heft, Artemis continued to speak. "Take this weapon, Kratos. Take this power and use it to defeat your enemies."

Pinkie grinned. "And take this cupcake as a thank you, Miss Artemis!" she said happily, giving her offering to the goddess.

Artemis looked much less dignified as she messily devoured the treat, even going so far as to lick her lips and fingertips to get every crumb. "Kratos, go forth in the name of Olympus," she said at the end, struggling to reclaim some semblance of divine dignity. That attempt was destroyed as the link did not fade completely before she could be heard saying to another god, "That cupcake was so good, I think I just came. About what was discussed..." The link dissolved completely.

Pinkie blinked at that. "Wow. I know my cupcakes are good, but...wow."

Kratos shook his head. "Let's keep going," he said. Before either of you start asking me awkward questions, he added silently.

Author's Note

Burning Man interaction inspired by Leo Archon.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/222263/you-cant-spell-slaughter-without-laughter#comment/5753778

The Temple - Part Two

The trio explored the open path, carving their way through swarms of monsters that arose to fight them, though they failed to prove a real challenge. "Say Daddy?" Pinkie asked at one point. "Does battle ever get...boring?"

Kratos shrugged as he ripped the head off a gorgon. "It can if your power too greatly dwarfs that of your foe."

"It seems ours does," Calliope pointed out, catching a launched arrow and hurling it back at the undead archer.

"Maybe we could make it more fun?" Pinkie offered. "Maybe keep score?"

"No," Kratos countered. "We won't start competing with each other."

"Maybe we could take turns with each room?" Calliope offered.

"No, we work best as a team," Kratos disagreed. "Besides, the monsters aren't going to just ignore two of us because we want them to."

"We could have a sing along?" Pinkie offered.

"I play music better than I sing," Calliope pointed out.

"Try making your flute music with your armor!" Pinkie suggested.

Kratos raised an eyebrow as he tossed another monster across the room. "Would that work?"

As strains of Calliope's music flowed out of her helmet, Pinkie grinned. "Seems to be!"

As Calliope played a happy tune over their rampage through the temple halls, the trio pressed onward. Reaching a lower level passage, they encountered a large battle between monsters and other soldiers. "I...don't suppose we can help them?" Pinkie asked.

"Not this time," Kratos cautioned. "They, too, seek Pandora's Box. They would seek to fight us...or use us to get them further in."

"And we need the box to defeat Ares," Calliope added. "So we have to move on."

Pinkie frowned as she watched the soldiers fight and die. "And there's nothing we can do...and their bodies will go back to the Burning Man...and the fire will turn them into more monsters...which we'll have to fight later."

"The necessities imposed by the Gods are often cruel," Kratos offered.

"...they shouldn't be," Pinkie murmured, following along after Kratos as he moved on.

Clearing several more chambers of monsters, obstacles, and a conveyor belt with crushing spike walls, they reached a bridge that passed outside. "Fresh air!" Pinkie yelled happily, hopping onto a harpy's back to get into more direct sunlight. Calliope seized the harpy's talons to keep it from flying off with Pinkie.

"Don't get too used to it," Kratos cautioned, hiding his amusement as he pointed to the other side of the bridge, that went right back inside.

"This place is going to drive me madder!" Pinkie groaned as she hopped back onto the bridge, breaking the harpy in half as she slammed it against the bridge. "It's like some punishment afterlife for someone who answered questions the Gods didn't want asked, compelled to solve puzzle after puzzle that grows more and more complex over time, requiring more and more backtracking between each part, until you eventually can't remember what it was you needed from the chamber you were heading to by the time you get there!"

"Punishment by madness of boredom?" Kratos suggested.

"Exactly!" Pinkie groused as she went through the door. "Hey, there's no roof here!"

"Guess we get to be outside a while longer!" Calliope cheered.

Shaking his head in bemusement, Kratos took the lead once more, climbing up the walls to new vistas.

After climbing up and down walls outside for a while, they came to an inner chamber with a wooden floor on hinges. As monsters arose, the floor shook, as though it was going to drop them into an abyss at any moment. "We'd better fight fast!" Kratos instructed.

Calliope and Pinkie focused on the shielded monsters, ripping the shields from their grips and smashing them in the faces with them. Kratos focused on the sirens, keeping them off Pinkie and Calliope's back. They managed to kill all the monsters before the floor collapsed under them, and rushed for the altar at the back of the room.

Kratos and Calliope made it to the altar, but the floor dropped out from under Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie!" Kratos and Calliope called out, leaning over the edge to try and spot her.

"Yes?" Pinkie asked as she walked across the ceiling to them. "Did you need something?"

Kratos managed a chuckle. "I forgot you could do that," he admitted in relief.

"Wha...how?" Calliope asked in shock.

"It's Pinkie Pie," Kratos instructed. Grabbing the Handle of Atlas from the altar, the floor lifted back up. "Don't question it."

Taking another path further back, the trio opened a two switch door by pulling the switches at the same time before going through the door, rather than having to time throwing them one after the other while dodging saw blades. "See?" Kratos pointed out. "We work best as a team." Pinkie and Calliope nodded in agreement.

When they reached a door depicting Atlas holding up the world, Pinkie paused. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Pinkie?"

"This temple was made hundreds of years ago, right?"

"Right," Kratos agreed.

"And...Persephone released Atlas, leading to you chaining him to hold the world up, just five years ago, right?"

"That's right," Kratos confirmed, flapping the wings briefly. "Your point?"

"So how could the builders of this Temple known to have carved a relief of Atlas holding the world on his shoulders?" Pinkie asked, pointing to the door to the Path of Atlas.

All three turned to stare at the door. After a time, Kratos finally spoke up. "Perhaps the fates had a hand in it, knowing what would happen to Atlas."

"But if the Fates told the Gods to tell the stonemasons to make this relief because Atlas would be holding up the world by the time we got here, why didn't anyone do anything to stop Persephone?" Pinkie inquired. "And how come the statue doesn't look anything like Atlas?"

Kratos struggled to think about that. Eventually, he sighed. "I don't know," he said finally. "After we deal with Ares, we'll ask."

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie said happily, accepting that decision. The three proceeded down the path.

In the next chamber, after finishing off several monsters including two minotaurs, they attached the Handle of Atlas to a crank. Using it, they caused a statue representing Atlas to lift a globe.

"Wait!" Pinkie said again. "What's that ball he's picking up?"

"Considering the design on the door," Calliope pointed out, "it's probably supposed to be the world."

"But Daddy told me the world was flat!" Pinkie complained.

"That was my understanding," Kratos replied.

"But Pythagoras told me in Elysium that it was round," Calliope pointed out. "The other scholars agreed."

Kratos shrugged. "We are warriors, not scholars," he pointed out. "For now, let's continue."

Progressing to an upper level, a switch caused the Atlas statue to throw the ball, breaking open a path to the outside. Crossing a bridge, they found a tomb crafted in stone and gold. Kratos read the inscription before it.

My youngest son will laugh no more
Death in the service of his father
Death in the service of the Gods
The building of this temple has claimed his life
May you be lucky enough that it not claim yours
-Pathos Verdes III, Chief Architect and Loyal Servant of the Gods

Kratos staggered back, turning his eyes to Pinkie and Calliope.

"What'd it say, Daddy?" Pinkie asked curiously, her head tilted in interest.

Too easily, Kratos could imagine losing his laughing, equine daughter in the service of the gods, trying to earn free of his nightmares, trying to kill a god. He had already lost one daughter because of a god's machinations and his own hubris. Could he bear to lose another? Could he lose Calliope again?

He banished those thoughts as best he could. "It's nothing," Kratos replied. Remembering the skull lock on the next ring of the Temple, he knew what had to be done...but he couldn't bear to let his daughters see it. "The key is in this tomb. I'd...rather neither of you see what is inside. Could you both wait for me back in the Hall of Atlas?"

Both girls looked confused, but agreed, turning to head back inside. Once they'd passed the gate and were out of sight, Kratos opened the coffin. Climbing up top, he stared down at the skeleton lying in repose.

"Pathos," he whispered, "may you and your son forgive me for what the gods demand." Drawing the Blade of Artemis, he carefully severed the spinal column, lifting the skull gently free, carefully placing it in his satchel. When the coffin shifted aside to reveal a ladder downward, he carefully put the lid back on. "I hope you can still rest," he whispered, mumbling what few prayers of consecration he remembered, hoping it would be enough to ease the ire of the son's spirit for the desecration of his tomb and body.

Returning to the hall, he beckoned his daughters to follow him. The solemnity that had filled his being dampened their spirits somewhat, and they followed down the ladder in silence.

Returning to the central chamber of the Temple, Kratos hid his actions from his daughters as he placed the skull into the door, opening the path deeper into the Temple.

The Temple - Part Three

The new ring they entered had a large, spiked, metal cylinder rolling around inside it. Getting past it, they saw it was only spiked on the edges, so they jumped on top of it to ride it around to another ladder, leading to another section of the temple. As they climbed it, though, it dropped downward.

"Guess we don't have to ride around on top of that wheel again," Calliope pointed out.

"Pity," Pinkie pouted. "It was fun."

"Well maybe we can-" Kratos began.

The cylinder dropped into a pit that opened up in the floor, and rolled no more. The pit then closed over it.

"Wow," Pinkie mumbled. "So much for fun."

Following the path at the top of the ladder, they reached a wide open amphitheater resembling an incomplete colosseum. As they approached the center, a small, green, fluffy, lion-like dog climbed up the side, growling at them.

"Aww, it's so cute!" Pinkie squealed.

"Can we keep it?" Calliope begged Kratos.

The canine promptly expanded in a flare of red energy to the size of a horse, sprouting two extra heads. All three heads now had fire leaking from their mouths.

Pinkie and Calliope both stared. "So can we keep it?" Pinkie asked Kratos.

Kratos blinked for a bit. "Tell you what," he allowed. "If you can train it to obey you, we can keep it. But otherwise, we have to treat it like any other monster."

Pinkie promptly tackled the cerberus to its back and began scratching its belly. "Who's a good puppy? Yes you is! Yes you is!"

The beast growled at first, struggling against her, but eventually the angry grimaces became joyful smiles, and its left hind leg began kicking spasmodically.

"I'm going to keep this one!" Calliope said happily, scratching another small one that had shown up which was wriggling happily in her lap, nomming on her other gauntlet hand like a chew toy.

Kratos could only stare. He then shook his head ruefully. "I promised myself to stop being surprised by you, Pinkie."

"I'm gonna call him Fluffy!" Pinkie said happily.

"I'm naming mine Leonidas!" Calliope agreed.

However, as they released the canines, they started growling again...until Pinkie fed each of the four heads a cupcake. Then they all assumed puppyish eager to please expressions with matching wagging tails. Other canine creatures started to appear, but Fluffy and Leonidus growled at them and they promptly fled.

"...that was unexpected," Kratos admitted before leading the way onward.

As they progressed, Fluffy and Leonidas proved most effective in fighting the monsters - both large and small - that they faced. Fluffy used his mass to bowl over smaller foes and keep larger ones in check, while Leonidas demonstrated a preference for jumping on heads and biting, tearing chunks out of whatever he could sink his teeth into. Both also healed any damage they took by eating the dead monsters, though they showed a marked preference for Pinkie's cupcakes. Between the canine's evasion and Calliope's indestructible nature, they were able to rush the wave of archers that blocked their path without breaking stride.

As other mini-cerberus monsters fled from Fluffy, this resulted in a drastic reduction in monsters they actually had to deal with, so Pinkie and Calliope entertained themselves by teaching their "new puppies" to play catch by throwing severed monster heads as treats.

After passing through a rotating chamber, they continued onward. Kratos was at first concerned about how Fluffy and Leonidas would manage the rock climb that led to the next path, but it seemed their claws were designed for scaling sheer cliffs as well as rending flesh. Calliope climbed up in much the same way as Kratos, while Pinkie rode Fluffy.

Entering an indoors section of the Temple, they found several soldiers hanging from the ceiling in cages. Further in there was a plaque demanding offering the 'ultimate sacrifice' to appease the gods. Putting a large rock on the switch to make the burners come out, Pinkie laid some odd looking lumps on the stone in a tray. Pulling the lever, the flames erupted, cooking the dough into cupcakes. She then placed the icing on them, causing the stone to lower into the ground, where the gods could be heard devouring the treats as the sacrifice was sent to Olympus as the gate opened.

"Pretty sure we were supposed to burn one of the soldiers," Calliope murmured in relief.(1)

"Cupcakes taste much better than human flesh," Pinkie proclaimed happily. "Just ask Fluffy and Leonidas!" The four canine heads nodded eagerly in agreement.

In the next chamber, they found an altar to Poseidon, where Kratos acquired a new artifact, Poseidon's Trident. As he already possessed its ability to breathe underwater, he gave it to Calliope to give her greater freedom of movement underwater.

"Yay!" Pinkie cried happily. "Now we can all go swimming together!"

Leonidas and Fluffy expressed their joy by promptly leaping into the water surrounding the altar and beginning to sport about. Pinkie donned her mask, snorkel, and fins to join them, while Kratos and Calliope entered more sedately.

With Poseidon's Trident, Calliope could cause herself to float upward in water instead of sinking to the bottom and having to walk across as she had before. After a brief swim through an underwater passage, they pulled a switch that opened a new path that they returned to behind the massive statue of Poseidon that had watched over the Trident. After dealing with a few harpies, they took the new passage.

After swimming through a great many underwater obstacles, they entered a room with a massive statue of a woman. Getting to the top, they read an inscription.

Amphitrite, Poseidon's faithful wife, will forever watch over this cursed room. Only she knows the secret way out.

"Will you tell us for a cupcake, Miss Amphitrite?" Pinkie offered, holding up a cupcake.

The cupcake vanished, and the secret exit opened for them.

"Thank you!" Pinkie said happily as they all took the secret path out of the room in shifts, as it wasn't quite large enough for them all to take at once.

Following it through, they came up in the chamber with the light crystal statues in the outer ring before continuing onward.

(1) Did you know the achievement for clearing this part in the newer versions of the game is called "Totally Baked"?

Author's Note

The bit with Fluffy and Leonidas was not part of the original story plan. However, when watching the Playthrough of this segment for research, my gut reaction on seeing the Cerberus pup appear was "He's adorable!" I knew Pinkie and Calliope would react the same way. The rest just snowballed.

Thankfully, all this really does is make the rest of the Temple even simpler and add more cuteness.

The Temple - Part Four

Once in the chamber of the rings, the group made their way to the central ring, which was filled with water. Diving in, they found a passage beneath they could dive down through to explore further. At the end of the passage, they found a chamber where magma flowed through channels, and a massive door was sealed shut with an Omega symbol upon the chained lock. Beyond that, the chamber was massive and empty.

"Where's the magma coming from?" Pinkie asked.

"What do you mean?" Kratos inquired.

"Magma's the lifeblood of the earth, right?" she pointed out.

"We are atop a massive mountain," he reminded her.

"Which is being carried on the back of a Titan," Pinkie corrected. "So where's the magma coming from?"

Kratos shrugged. "How should I know?" he replied in exasperation. "Why do you keep asking these questions?"

"I'm hoping if I point out something that's truly impossible, it'll disappear in a puff of logic," she replied with a grin.

"Sister? You do realize you're the most impossible thing here, right?" Calliope pointed out. "Do you want to disappear in a puff of logic?"

Pinkie let out a gasp. "Oh my gosh, I never thought of that!"

Kratos shook his head ruefully. "Let's just keep going."

"Okie dokie, loki!" Pinkie said happily, then tilted her head in confusion as her ears spun. "That was weird."

"What was?" Calliope asked.

"I just got the strange feeling that someone, somewhere...just called me a Pink Devil," she explained.

"They must have met you," Kratos joked, ruffling her curly mane, making her giggle.

Following a path behind a breakable wall, they reached a massive chamber marked with the symbols of Hades. "I wonder how things are going with him and Persephone," Calliope mused.

"Depends on how he's taken my advice," Pinkie replied. "I hope things work out between them, though."

Approaching a gate marked with Hades' visage, they read the inscription commanding them to make blood sacrifices on Hades altars to continue. When two magic circles and a herd of centaurs appeared, Kratos nodded. "Alright," he concluded. "We need to ritually kill a centaur on each altar-"

"Hell~o, half human nurses!" Pinkie said suddenly, fluttering her eyelashes at the centaurs just as they rounded the blood pool in the center of the room to stand in the magic circles.

The centaurs froze, stared at her in fear, screamed in terror, and promptly disemboweled themselves.

As the gate opened, Pinkie's face became enraged. "Well, fuck you all very much, too!" she cried angrily, turning around to storm through the open passage in a huff. Kratos, Calliope, Fluffy, and Leonidas wisely decided to follow without saying anything.

Making their way through a trap filled corridor, Pinkie vented her spleen by grabbing a gorgon by the tail and using it as a flail against numerous other monsters. After that, she was smiling again and bouncing along happily. Kratos, Fluffy, and Leonidas all breathed sighs of relief. Calliope wiped her brow as though she had been sweating.

When the one other centaur they encountered fled at the mere sight of Pinkie and none others showed up, however, Pinkie sighed. "Daddy, do I come on too strong or something?"

Kratos shook his head. "No. You're just such a powerful, unpredictable warrior that weak willed males find you terrifying. You just need to find a stallion with a stronger will and more steel in his spine. If they can't face up to you, then they aren't worthy of you."

Pinkie sighed. "I suppose...but I wanna have sex, dammit!"

"Oh look, more gorgons!" Kratos said quickly, changing the subject.

"...smooth, Father," Calliope commented dryly.

After slaughtering all the monsters in the maze of corridors, they passed through a gate that opened in response to the last death cry. The passage shortly opened onto a platform high above the chamber where the centaurs had sacrificed themselves rather than approach Pinkie. Stepping on a switch caused a horned statue to rise up out of the blood pool. Diving into the blood pit below, Kratos pulled a switch that caused the mouth of the statue to emit a powerful beam of light. Pinkie and Calliope then rotated the head so the beam shot into a chamber filled with darkness. The light illuminated an incredibly long corridor, which illuminated itself with flames from the roof and at the very back of the chamber, and massive flaming boulders began to roll down the passage.

The blood pool sealed itself off after Kratos climbed out of it. "Now," Kratos began as they approached the corridor, "how will we proceed past this part?"

Pinkie pulled out the strangely configured ax she had used to repel fireballs back in Attica. Calliope pulled out her massive ax.

Kratos nodded. "As long as we're prepared."

Making their way through the corridor, Pinkie and Calliope took turns dealing with the flaming boulders that got in their way. Pinkie sent them flying back by striking them with her ax, while Calliope split them down the middle. As they went, the girls guarded Kratos back when he opened the doors along the sides so he wasn't interrupted by being hit by a boulder. Finding the right side passage, they carved their way through several minotaurs and archer zombies before finding two paths.

"I'll take this one!" Pinkie said, pointing to the one that had been sealed before they killed all the monsters. "Fluffy and Leonidas are with me! Daddy, Sis, you take the other path." Without waiting for confirmation, she led the two canines down the selected path.

Kratos and Calliope followed the other path to a rope over a magma chamber. Pinkie and the canines came out on a cliff at one side of the chamber, where several archer zombies had their bows trained on the rope. Pinkie killed them quickly, then proceeded to snipe the zombies off the rope with her lightning bolts to clear Kratos and Calliope's journey across the rope, while Fluffy and Leonidas guarded her back.

When they reached the end of the rope, they found Pinkie, Fluffy, and Leonidas waiting for them in the arena below. By now, Calliope had learned not to question Pinkie's impossible antics, so her only comment was, "I wish I could do that."

"I'll teach you!" Pinkie promised.

After killing all the monsters that either dropped down to or rose up out of the arena, they took the path that was revealed, climbing their way back up to an upper level and passing through another passage. Reaching a thin bridge above a pit too far down to survive falling, they each made their way across. Kratos used his wings to fly. Fluffy crawled along the wall with Leonidas clinging to him. Pinkie bounced along the thin bridge as though completely unaware of the danger, easily leaping over the spinning blades that created an additional hazard. Calliope rode the spinning blades.

Climbing up to a higher level, the group then took a zip line down to a lower level, and a path out of the room.

"We just keep going up and down and up..." Pinkie began, then grinned widely before starting to sing. "Up, down, up! I am Up, down, touch the ground, in the mood...for food!"

"We'll stop for a meal soon," Kratos promised.

Following the path around, Kratos turned a wheel which partially undid the lock that sealed the massive door they'd encountered before. The path then led them back to that room. When they entered, they saw something was trying to break its way through the doors. Approaching the doors, they burst open, and a much larger, heavily armored minotaur that almost seemed to be made of metal burst through them, the doors slamming shut behind it.

"It's a mega-mecha-taur!" Pinkie cried out, pointing.

"This way!" Calliope called out, guiding everyone to an upper level.

Once on the upper level, the mega-mecha-taur rose on its legs to grip the platform and attack them. The canines stayed back, as their teeth weren't strong enough for metal. Kratos, Pinkie, and Calliope focused on doing as much damage to it as they could. After inflicting enough damage, it staggered back and fell to its knees. Kratos took the opportunity to race forward and leap onto its back, using the Blades of Chaos to pull it back against the door before slamming its head into the ground, leaving it dazed.

As soon as it was dazed, Calliope pulled the switch on the raised platform. A log was launched to slam into the beast, causing massive cracks in its armor.

Repeating the process, the armor broke enough to reveal the flesh underneath. Fluffy and Leonidas joined in then, clinging to the beast's back and tearing at the flesh of its throat with their jaws. This time chunks of armor fell off as they inflicted damage, revealing more flesh for the canines to tear into. By the time the last chunk of armor broke off - revealing a flesh construct beneath - Fluffy and Leonidas had done enough damage that one last heavy hit from Kratos left it dazed.

When Calliope fired the next log, it pinned the beast to the wall to one side of the doors, impaling it. In its death throes, it kicked a chunk out of the base of the doors, opening a path for the group to pass through.

Since no other monsters seemed to be approaching, the group decided to break there for a meal before continuing onward.

The Temple - Part Dream

When Kratos walked over to step through the hole in the massive doors, he was suddenly decapitated without warning. Fluffy and Leonidas screamed in shock.

"Father!" Calliope wailed.

"Daddy!" Pinkie bawled.

Deadpool stepped through the hole over Kratos' corpse. "Who's your Daddy now, bitches?" he asked. "That's right, it's Deadpoo-"

Pinkie interrupted Deadpool's self aggrandizing introduction by using the Blade of Artemis to behead him. "Bad cameo!" she scolded.

"Well this sucks," Stuffy murmured in Wayde's head.

"And not in the dirty fun kind of way!" Crazy added.

Seeing that Calliope was still upset, Pinkie picked up Deadpool's severed head. "Look Calliope!" she exclaimed. Pulling out a staff, she stuck one end into the severed neck. "I made a puppet!"

As Calliope giggled, a voice called out, "Hey!"

A white skinned figure with yellow eyes, green markings on his forehead, a black all-covering robe with red edging and a red gemstone in the center of his chest, sauntered forward.

Richard pointed a clawed finger at Pinkie. "That's my schtick!" he accused. "I even had a song about it!"

"But that song was a parody," Pinkie pointed out. "You can't claim copyright on the lyrics. Besides, we're in Ancient Greece. Copyright law doesn't even exist yet!"

Richard stared at her for a time. "I like you already."

Calliope looked sadly at Kratos' dead body.

Pinkie smiled winsomely up at Richard. "Will you be our new Daddy?"

Richard glanced between the two of them speculatively. After a time, he scooped Pinkie up over his head. "For Pony!" he proclaimed happily.

In order to better help Pinkie and Calliope adjust to being his daughters, Richard took them back to Athens, disemboweled Ares, hung him by a noose of his own disconnected entrails, and wrapped the other end around the back of Helios' chariot. As Helios wasn't actually doing anything to Ares, Zeus' rules regarding the gods making war on each other didn't apply, and so Ares was consigned to be dragged around behind the sun by his own entrails eternally as punishment for flaunting the will of Olympus and conspiring to overseat it.

Calliope used Deadpool's puppet head as the first of many in a macabre puppet show, following in Richard's footsteps for crazed slaughter.

When Richard raised Kratos as an undead citizen of his township, 'Pretty Pretty Unicorn', Pinkie was forced to exclaim, "This is the strangest day of my life!"

"You realize it's the first of April so none of this is actually happening, right?" Richard pointed out to her.

Pinkie Pie awoke, curled up in Fluffy's legs. After eating, they had all decided to take a brief nap before continuing their explorations. Remembering her insane dream, Pinkie frowned. "I thought that egg salad looked funny," she proclaimed.

"Back hephalumps!" Kratos proclaimed in his sleep, swinging the Blade of Artemis over his head. "You will not steal my honey!"

The Temple - Part Final

Passing through the hole left by the minotaur's hoof, Calliope led the way into the next part of the temple - at Pinkie's insistence, much to the confusion of everyone else. Reaching the top of the stairwell, Calliope stepped back. "It's another tomb," Calliope said.

"You want us to wait outside again?" Pinkie suggested.

Kratos nodded. "Please." Once they were outside with Fluffy and Leonidas, Kratos examined the inscription.

My second son, my last, has followed his brother to the Elysium fields. In my heart, I know I must continue the work of the gods.
But they take so much, and at last my soul begins to doubt.
Pathos Verdes III

Approaching the casket, Kratos once more said what prayers he knew over the body as he carefully removed the lid. Gently cutting the skull from the spinal column, he hid it away in his satchel before closing the casket back up, hoping he had not too drastically disturbed the rest of the fallen soul.

Returning to the stairwell, he led his daughters and their pets back through the Temple.

On their way back, they came to a gateway bearing the symbol of Olympus, the markings of Hades, and a package with a note. Approaching it, Pinkie picked up the note, then gasped. "It's for me!" she gasped out happily.

"Really?" Kratos asked in surprise.

"What does it say?" Calliope asked curiously, Leonidas and Fluffy gathering around.

"It's from Hades! He says he's really taking my advice to heart, but he's a bit embarrassed by some of the changes he's made. Persephone hasn't woken up yet, but her wings are growing back rapidly." Pinkie grinned widely. "He doesn't know it, but because of how I made the potion, that means he's on the right track!" She read through the note again. "Also, he wants me to know that he'll never forget the gift of a second chance with her I've given him...so he's giving me command of his armies?!" She eagerly ripped open the package.

Swirling black fog leaped out of the package, swirling around Pinkie before sinking into her body. As she lifted her forelegs, ethereal skeletons flew out, wielding twin swords. Two of them floated nearby to her, however, whispering. "Oh, sure!" she replied happily, giving each of them a cupcake. "Daddy, the Verdes boys say you don't have to be so bashful about borrowing their skulls to open the Temple up. They don't mind as long as they each get a cupcake!"

"Skull keys?" Calliope asked in shock. "Who came up with that idea?"

"Hades suggested it," Pinkie pointed out. "A torture on the heart and soul of any noble warrior trying to acquire the Box, that they had to desecrate graves to do so. Also, they thank you for being so respectful about it, Daddy!"

Kratos let out a sigh of relief. "My thanks for their forgiveness." He then leaned back with Calliope, Fluffy, and Leonidas to watch Pinkie test her new magic out on the swarm of monsters that arose. In addition to the skeleton wraiths that seemed to be the standard form of the spells, Pinkie was fond of knocking the head of a monster off and conjuring one of the souls to possess it, giving her more physical allies to aid her.

Once the monsters stopped manifesting, the group made their way back through the Temple.

Back in the chamber of the rings, Kratos used the second skull to open the next door. Since Pinkie and Calliope turned out to not be as bothered by it as he had originally been, let alone how he thought they would be, he did not bother to hide his actions. Once the door opened, the central ring drained of water.

Inside the very center of the rings was a crank and a crystal opposite the door. Rotating the crank caused the chamber to rotate. Calliope spoke up. "We must have to rotate the chambers until we can shine the light from the crystal held by those two statues into this crystal here!" she said excitedly.

"There's another crank out here we can turn!" Pinkie called out.

"So we'll rotate all the rings until we can do that," Kratos instructed.

Rotating the rings, eventually they arranged the rings in the proper alignment. "Moment of truth," Kratos said softly. With all eyes on him, he pushed the statues together, causing the crystal to shine.

The beam of light shot through the unobstructed passage, illuminating the crystal in the center of the Temple. The entire Temple began to shake and crumble as the statue in the center of the Rings began to rise upward.

"I question the validity of this design!" Pinkie called out as she dodged falling rocks. "What if someone made it this far then died from the falling rocks? How does the Temple reset itself for the next adventurers seeking the box?"

"Why do you wonder about these things?" Calliope asked as the rocks bounced off her armor.

"Someone has to!" Pinkie proclaimed.

When the shaking stopped, an elevator remained in the base of the statue. When they approached, Athena's voice could be heard. "Your progress is impressive, Kratos," she intoned, "but be warned. Once you ascend to the upper reaches of the Temple, you will not be able to return without Pandora's Box."

"In other words, we should save our progress!" Pinkie whispered to Fluffy, giggling.

"We weren't planning on returning without it," Kratos said firmly, gesturing everyone onto the elevator. As the group crowded in, he directed Calliope to pull the switch so they could ascend.

Stepping out onto the statue's crossed hands, they rode down to the central edifice. As they stepped off, a strange new enemy awaited them, with a goat like head and wielding a staff with curved blades at either end. It dramatically tossed it forward before leaping to grab it for battle.

Midleap, Fluffy chomped on its head and forearms, while Leonidas chomped on its nether regions. They tore the creature in half before devouring it. Pinkie picked up the weapon. "Oh! Me likey!" She spun it easily around her body. She then used it to fight the two other goat-like beasts that appeared, though they had the sense not to act dramatic.

Crossing a bridge, they were briefly harassed by a harpy, but before Kratos could respond or slip into a flashback, Pinkie set it on fire. "Those things give me the creeps," she grunted.

"Where did you get fire magic?" Kratos asked.

"Zephyros."

"Why haven't you been using it?" Calliope asked.

"Because weapons are more fun, duh!" Pinkie countered.

Approaching an inscription on the other side of the bridge, Kratos read from it aloud.

The Cliffs of Madness lie before you. In my grieving I fear I may have designed a maze with no way out. If I am right, may the cruel, uncaring gods show you the way
Pathos Verdes III
...once loyal subject of the gods.

"I've got a better idea!" Pinkie said happily. Grabbing a nearby dead body, she reached into Hades and plucked Pathos Verdes soul out, shoving it into the dead body. "Hey, I've got pull with Hades," she told the displaced spirit. "Guide us through the maze, and I'll see to it you get to spend the rest of your afterlife with your sons. How's that sound?" When Pathos hesitated, Pinkie offered him a cupcake as extra incentive.

"This way!" Pathos proclaimed through a mouthful of deliciousness.

By following Pathos' directions, working as a team at various puzzles, and transferring Pathos to successively tougher or more versatile monster bodies as they progressed - not to mention a few shortcuts Kratos' wings made possible - the group eventually reached Pathos' tomb.

Making their way through the hurdles of this last part of the Temple, they eventually reached the chamber where Pathos himself lay beside his wife. To their surprise, the coffins bearing Pathos' two sons had been moved into the chamber, and Pathos body had been cleaned up to reside in some dignity beside his wife's. The only thing visible was a note bearing the mark of Hades, stating, I keep her promise on my behalf. Find peace in your afterlife, servant of the Gods.

Smiling, Pathos faded back into the Underworld, leaving his monster body to dissolve. Walking forward, Kratos discovered that the wife's head had been pre-severed, so her skull could be used to open the final door without desecration. Gravely, Kratos did so.

Behind this last gate, they found a spiral passage downward. After clearing through a swarm of harpies and undead archers, they reached the final chamber. There, statues of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades stood watch over a crystal sphere. When Kratos pulled a switch on the sphere, it irised open to reveal the massive chest they had come for.

"Pandora's Box," Kratos breathed in amazement as the platform it was on lowered into the floor.

Walking up to it, Pinkie nudged the lid. "It won't open here!" she pointed out.

"Then we'll just have to take it back to Athens," Calliope concluded.

"Come on, girls," Kratos instructed, taking hold of the Box. "Let's take it back to the entrance-"

"How are we going to get it down the mountain?" Pinkie asked. "Or for that matter, off Kronos' back?"

Kratos shrugged. "We'll figure it out when we get down there. Come on."

As he spoke, the platform they were on shot downwards through the Temple. It came to a halt at the entrance corridor.

As Kratos began pushing the box out, Pinkie raced to the entrance. "Burning Man!" she called out, waving to the man in question. "We did it! We got the Box!"

As she shouted that, a stone spike flew through the entrance, brushing right by her mane, and impaled Kratos through the chest, pinning him to the now locked entrance to the Ring chamber.

"Father!" Calliope screamed in fear.

"Daddy!" Pinkie wailed.

Both girls rushed to Kratos' side. As he felt the life leaving his body, he reached out to them. They each took his hands and held them as all signs of life and soul left him.

Pinkie was about to break down into tears, until she saw the harpies flying off with the box, and smelled something on the spike that had slain Kratos. "Ares!" she roared, her sudden rage blazing off of her in a flaming red aura.

Calliope clambered onto her back as the pink streak of vengeance raced for Athens, all consideration for safety, logic, or even physics disregarded as she was blinded by fury.

To be continued...

Vengeance

Ares smiled happily as his harpies delivered Pandora's Box to him. With this in his hands and Kratos dead, there was nothing to stop him from conquering the mortal world, converting its entirety to worship to him, and then conquering Olympus for his own. He had thought to use Kratos as his weapon to do this originally, but Kratos proved uncontrollable. But now, nothing could stop him.

As he laughed his triumph, however, he suddenly heard music coming from a distance away...music that was growing louder rapidly, as though approaching him. He turned to the source of the music, only to take a rocketship to the face. Seeing the pink blur leaping off of it as it lodged up his nose, he wondered where the pink pony could have gotten a rocketship.

He could feel blades sink into his side, starting a climb up his body. He recognized it as the armor being possessed by Calliope's soul. It was very frustrating when people didn't stay dead like they were supposed to. When did Uncle Hades allow a revolving door policy in the afterlife? he wondered internally.

However, Pinkie Pie was currently the greater concern...especially as she appeared to be hovering somehow. Energy gathered between her forehooves as she mixed Zephyros' fire, Zeus' lightning, the spiritual force of Hades' undead, and the red aura that surrounded her now into a bright pink sphere. Spinning the energies together like cotton candy, she launched a beam of pink light straight at him, putting out one of his eyes.

Ares roared as he reared back, clutching his ruined right eye. Spying through his still functional eye that Pinkie had seized the peak of the Temple of Athena, ripped it from its foundations, and swung it over her shoulder like a club, he had time to muse, Maybe I was better off facing a Pandora-empowered Kratos...

As Kratos fell into Hades, he struggled to find a way to catch himself before he reached the River Styx. Others had escaped Hades before. He would do so now. Ares wouldn't stop with just him. He had to protect Pinkie and Calliope!

Before he was able to find anything to grab hold of, however, a massive black canine mouth caught him in mid-air, threw him sideways over two identical heads, and blue hands pulled him onto Cerberus' back. "Easy there, hero-boy," the owner of the hands assured him. "I've gotcha."

Kratos looked up at the one who had saved him. He saw blue skin, an elongated face with yellow eyes and razor sharp teeth, blue flames for hair, a grey and purple toga with blue edging, and billowing smoke coming out the bottom of the robe-like toga instead of feet. Though he didn't recognize the figure at all, the skull medallion toga-robe clasp at his shoulder and the fact he was riding Cerberus left only two possible identities...and Pinkie was still in the world of the living. "Hades?" he asked in shock.

"Yup, that's me," Hades replied in a very different voice than usual. "Hades, Lord of the Dead." As he spoke, Cerberus raced through a very different Underworld. "Like what I've done with the place?"

Kratos glanced around. The glowing, pulsating reds from before had been replaced with muted blues, dark purples, and the gray of stone. Green flames illuminated echoing chambers. Various mechanisms under the observations of swarms of imps managed the departed souls. "It's...certainly different," Kratos managed to say.

"What Pinkie said got me thinking," Hades explained. "While the Underworld needs me to function properly, it needs my awareness more than my physical presence. So I reorganized the management structure a bit. Also, given what she said about becoming a man Persephone could love, I decided to change myself a bit." He gestured to his very different appearance. "Think she'll like it?"

Kratos looked the god over one more time. "Well...even if she doesn't, I think the drastic level of change you're willing to do to gain her affection will at least convince her to give you the chance to make the changes she wants."

Hades smiled. "That's all I ask, another chance." He looked up. "I would ask you to tell me what you think of some of the poetry I've been writing for her-"

Oh dear Zeus, no! Kratos thought silently.

"-but I haven't really got time, and neither do you," the god concluded.

Thank Athena! Kratos praised silently.

"See, Pinkie's gone on a bit of a rampage, one that makes some of yours look like tiptoeing through the tulips, and you need to get up there and stop her," Hades explained.

"Pinkie? Rampaging?" Kratos was plainly skeptical. While he had seen her fight, at best even at her angriest she could be considered to be dancing with Death, not a true rampage. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Hopefully you won't see too much," Hades continued. "She's starting to unravel the fabric of reality."

Kratos blinked. "And that's...bad?" When Hades nodded, he continued, "How bad?"

"End of the world as we know it bad," Hades replied, "as that's what it's going to cause if she isn't stopped. Because of that, a few rules have been bent slightly to get you to her sooner rather than later."

"Meaning what?" Kratos asked in confusion.

As they reached a hole in the cavernous roof above, Hades took hold of him. "Meaning this!" he said, hurling him upward.

At the top of the hole, Zeus took hold of him, pulling him out into the City of Athens. "There you go, son," the god said calmly, catching his breath. "We're cutting things a bit close here."

Looking around, Kratos recognized where he was. "You were the gravedigger?" he asked in shock. "Did you know what Ares would do? Why didn't you warn-"

"I didn't know," Zeus interrupted. "I suspected. The Fates would not advise me in this situation, so I covered a possible outcome by digging a path here to Hades. Then this situation came up, and Hades and I had to finish the passage using divine power under Ares' radar. Thankfully, the things Pinkie is getting up to make it hard for him to sense anything else." A massive smoking eyeball landed beside them, the edges of the burn hole glowing pink. "She's being rather vicious right now."

Kratos gasped in shock before turning and rushing into Athens. With all of Ares attention on the fight he was currently engaged in, his armies could not manifest, and Kratos faced no opposition as he charged to where his daughters needed him. His only obstacle was dodging around pieces of the Temple of Athena that littered the streets, had knocked over other buildings, and continued to fall from the sky still.

As he raced through the Temple of the Oracle, he found the Oracle herself surrounded by a strange blue field that masonry and other things that came towards her bounced off of, and had apparently half-incinerated some of Ares' troops that had attempted to breach it. "Oracle?" he gasped in shock. "What magic is this?"

In awe, the Oracle held up the paper wrapper that had been around the cupcake Pinkie had given her. Some crumbs still clung to it, and it was the source of the glowing blue light. "I held on to it. It was my thought that I could learn how to perceive Pinkie's influence on the flow of time...but that is impossible. I certainly did not forsee that it had such power inside it. ...perhaps it is better not to know what may come next. That seems to be the lesson Pinkie has brought us...she has brought us hope." She seized Kratos' wrist. "But she has lost her hope! You must get to her, Kratos! Don't let her become a monster!"

Nodding, Kratos rushed ahead. Imagining Pinkie consumed by the rage that had driven him before he'd sworn himself to Ares...he couldn't allow that to happen.

As Kratos came out to the seaside where the battle was waging, he saw Pandora's Box resting on the ground, almost inviting him to wield its power. However, as he rushed forward, he saw something he could scarcely believe.

The sword shaped bridge he had crossed on his way out of the Oracle's Temple before had been ripped from its moorings. Pinkie clutched the hilt, swinging it about in a crazed fashion as she chopped away at Ares, who desperately defended himself with his own weapons as best he could. At the same time, Calliope had made her way to Ares' shoulder, and was sawing away at his neck with her sword.

"Pinkie? Calliope?" Kratos gasped in shock. Seeing the red aura suffusing Pinkie and starting to fill Calliope, he knew he couldn't let this continue. "Pinkie!" he shouted as loud as he could. "Calliope!"

Both turned to face him, their red auras fading. "Father?" Calliope gasped in shock.

"Daddy?" Pinkie gasped. As her rage faded, to be replaced by surprised joy, physics reasserted itself as she began to fall, dragged down by the weight of the massive sword she was holding.

"Sister!" Calliope screamed, diving off Ares' shoulder to catch her. Ares brought his hand up and caught them both, beginning to squeeze, anger filling his single remaining eye.

Kratos heard his daughters scream in pain. "NO!"

Ignoring Pandora's Box, Kratos braced his foot on it and leapt into the air, somehow propelling himself with enough force to fly straight towards where Ares clutched his daughters. As he flew through the air, his mind went back to how much his life had changed since he had taken Pinkie in. She had brought him joy, brought him hope, given him reason to look forward to the future. She had brought back Calliope. She had befriended the gods. He found himself remembering the taste of her cupcakes.

As all those memories of Pinkie flew through his mind, he pulled forth the Blade of Artemis. Blue light poured forth from his body, enveloping the blade. As he swung it, the aura extended beyond the edge of the blade, severing Ares' hand at the wrist.

As Ares screamed in agony, Kratos put the Blade of Artemis away, grabbing Pinkie and Calliope up in his arms. Bracing his feet on Ares' severed wrist, he kicked off, throwing the Blades of Chaos out to latch onto whatever hold they could find.

The Blades embedded themselves in Ares' neck, right below his Adam's Apple.

Pinkie gasped. "I've got an idea!" she said happily. Shifting Calliope onto her back, she took the Blade of Chaos from Kratos' left arm. While that should have been impossible, Pinkie had never learned the meaning of that word. Binding the chain to Calliope's armor, she then kicked off of Kratos, sending them both circling around Ares neck.

Each of them managed to evade Ares flailing arms until they came to the back of Ares' neck. "Circle!" Pinkie shouted for some reason, giving Kratos just enough warning to twist his body so they passed harmlessly by each other instead of slamming into each other. Their momentum increased with centrifugal force. "Triangle!" Pinkie shouted just before they would have impacted in front. "Square!" she shouted again just before they crossed in back. "Cross!" she yelled again as they passed in front. After that, the chains had shortened enough they could each brace their feet on Ares' shoulders, one on either side.

Blue light suddenly erupted from Pinkie's body, racing through Calliope's armor and down the chain she held. As it reached the Blade, it leapt from that blade to its mate before racing up the other chain and infusing Kratos, the taste of victory - of hope - filling all three.(1) "Pull!" Pinkie screamed out, and Calliope and Kratos pulled with all their might.

The last thing registering in Ares' mind was shock as the chains sheared through his flesh like a hot knife through butter, sending his head spinning through the air as his body began to fall.

As Kratos leapt from the falling body, he saw Pinkie and Calliope start to fall. In that moment, he did not see the physics defying pony and the invincible armor spirit. He saw his daughters, and in his eyes, they were falling to their deaths.

Screaming in fear, he lunged for them. Looking around, he searched for some anchor for his single Blade of Chaos. However, the only place he could latch onto was the brace where the sword bridge had once hung, and the earth there was too soft to anchor the blade in, and the bridge moorings themselves too strong. A desperate plan formed in his mind.

This is going to hurt, he thought to himself as he flung the blade forward with its magic command ingrained in its flight. Wrapping its chain around the moorings, the blade then flew back to Kratos. Spinning, he angled himself to lodge the Blade in his back, locked between two ribs.

As he screamed in agony, he held out his other arm, catching Pinkie and Calliope to him as they all fell. Holding the chain with his right hand, he played it out, slowly swinging them towards the ground. However, as Ares power started to fade from the world, the Blades began to lose their power. Just as the chains fell apart, Ares' body released a massive explosion, the shockwave sending Kratos and his daughters flying.

As they approached the ground, Kratos twisted himself to hit the ground back first, cradling his daughters in his arms, taking the impact of each of their bounces across water and stone until they came to a screeching halt at the base of the mountain where the bridge had once rested. Struggling to catch his breath as he removed the Blade from his back, Kratos looked down on his daughters. "Are you both alright?" he asked desperately.

Calliope nodded, hugging him tight, her armored hands forcing his self inflicted wound closed with her own spiritual energy. Pinkie sat in his lap, hyperventilating for a time. When she caught her breath, she grinned widely, threw her hooves into the air, and shouted, "Again!"

As Kratos stared at his impossible little girl, his lips began to turn, slowly but surely curving upward into an expression he had not worn for as long as he could remember. And as Pinkie's joy increased tenfold at the sight of his returning smile, Kratos threw his head back and laughed.

He laughed until his jaw ached.

He laughed until his wounds throbbed with the pain of his joyous spasms.

He laughed until his lungs burned with a need for air.

He laughed as he pulled his daughters into a grateful, loving embrace, as another discovery temporarily erased the awe of killing a God.

He laughed until he discovered just how good it felt to share laughter with the ones you love.

(1) Those of you who have played God of War 3 should realize here what the blue light has signified all along...and next chapter will explain where it came from.

Author's Note

To give you an idea of how different Hades is, if you didn't get it from the text...

This is how Hades looked when he came to collect Persephone at the end of Chains of Olympus...

And this is what he looks like now.

Future

As Athens began the long task of rebuilding the city, Pinkie and Calliope tended to Kratos' injuries. With the Blades of Chaos shattered, Kratos no longer had much of the power he had once wielded. Though the magic he had acquired was still his to command, without the Blades he lacked his normal channel for the magic. However, he did not feel he actually needed the magic for a while. After all, he had completed his last task for the Gods of Olympus.

On the return to their ship, Kratos had approached the statue at the helm. "Athena!" he spoke firmly. "I have completed the task set before me."

"Indeed, Kratos," Athena replied. "Though we mourn the death of our brother, the Gods are indebted to you. As per our promise to you, your life shall be greatly improved."

"Then my nightmares will end?" Kratos asked.

"Your past shall no longer be a weight upon your soul," Athena replied. "However, the memories themselves - the source of your nightmares - shall remain. That is something no mortal or god can - or should - interfere with."

Kratos lowered his head. At first he felt rage spark inside him at this seeming betrayal. Why would the Gods not cleanse him of his nightmares? However, before the rage could take hold, he looked into his own soul and questioned it.

What had rage ever given him? His rage had led him to promise himself to Ares, and cost him his family. It had led him to defy Ares, which left him to the tortures of the Furies. And it had not been rage that had freed him from them. It had been his strong will, and Orkos' friendship and aid. And after that, it had not been rage that had guided his footsteps. it had been hope, in the form of Pinkie Pie.

She had become his responsibility, his joy, his hope for freedom from his nightmares and the pain of his past. She had dedicated herself to making him smile again, and somehow the drive to not disappoint her had pushed him far more than any desire for vengeance against Ares. And rage had nearly destroyed Pinkie, briefly turning her into a monster worse than he had ever been.

Rage had destroyed him. Love had saved him. Sighing, he nodded acceptance of Athena's pronouncement, and let go of his rage.

Pinkie Pie had been watching him as he thought this through, and gasped as she saw his thoughts reach their conclusion. "Now I get it!" she said suddenly. "Daddy, you went to the Gods to cleanse the Nightmares cause you thought they were a curse, right? Part of the spell that Oracle did on you binding the ashes to your skin?"

Kratos tilted his head in confusion. "Yes, that's right," he said slowly.

"But they weren't!" Pinkie proclaimed. "If they were, you'd have suffered from them while the Furies were tormenting you, but you said you didn't! And the nightmares would have stayed fresh and new from the moment they began until today, but they haven't! You've mentioned they've been growing less severe over time, especially since Calliope left Hades to come with us!"

Kratos' eyes widened. "You...you're right. But she said-"

"What her curse actually did was make you face what you'd become under Ares manipulations!" Pinkie proclaimed. "Everything became fresh and vivid in your mind in that moment! That's what created the nightmares. Not her curse, but your own mind after witnessing how far you had fallen and all you had done! And that's why the gods can't do anything about it...but you can!"

"Excuse me?" Kratos demanded in shock. "Are you saying I can do what the gods cannot?"

"Yupperooni!" Pinkie stated plainly. "The gods can't mess with the way your mind works without breaking something, because aside from Morpheus they don't actually know how the human mind works! If they did, half those stories of people we've heard about wouldn't have happened. Like that Oedipus fellow, serious mishandling due to just not knowing how people tick there! But the key to purging your nightmares is just what you always thought it was...forgiveness.

"But you didn't get how your mind worked either!" Pinkie continued. "The gods can forgive you, Sis can forgive you, I can forgive you, Mom can forgive you - or not, we haven't actually seen her - and the people you killed can forgive you they'd better...but none of that will do a thing for your nightmares!" She pressed a hoof to his chest. "The only thing that will cleanse them is if you!" She pounded her hoof against his chest. "Forgive!" Another pound. "Yourself!" A final pound.

Kratos stared at his equine daughter as if she had just grown a second head, although that would have been less of a shock than the wisdom she had just professed. "I must...forgive myself?"

"It was our hope that through your journeys with your daughters that you would discover that truth for yourself, Kratos," Athena pointed out. "It seems that in that regard, we overestimated you."

"Well, Daddy was a lot stronger here than here," Pinkie teased, pointing first to Kratos arm before pointing at his head.

"Hey!" Kratos complained as Calliope giggled. Seeing the humor, he managed a chuckle as well.

"There are other matters we must attend to," Zeus said, approaching. He gestured to Pandora's Box. "This, for one. It needs a new hiding place."

"I'll take care of it!" Pinkie said happily. Picking the Box up, she stuffed it into her mane. "Now nobody will ever find it!"

In a land of dreams, a round pink hero stumbled across a strangely decorated chest. Being the innocent that he was, he opened it.

Dark power erupted from the chest, bound to a blue light. Unable to anchor in this world, the power shot between worlds, seeking the world of its origins.

The pink hero glanced up at what had happened. "Hoyo?" he asked in confusion. Seeing nothing bad happening to the world, he dragged the box along behind him and started tossing food into it.

In an ancient land, a King of Demons considered his dispute with the Gods of the upper kingdom. While it was the nature of demons to seek war, he was considering if, perhaps, there was another way.

A blast of immense power ripped through the dimensional boundary. Streams of darkness split off from the blast, embedding themselves in the demon and his sword. Consumed by sudden fury, the Demon King made war on the upper world and its gods, a war that would shape that worlds history. Demise would never rest again.

Other worlds were touched by the dark power as it struggled to return to the world of its origin. In one, the dark power turned a good queen of Earth into a wicked tyrant that declared war on the moon. In another, a dark power anchored itself in a comet that reshaped the Earth with its light, creating a wicked, divergent evolution.

And then the light dragged the last dark power to another world...

Four years in the future and over a decade in the past, Pinkie Pie raced into the Everfree Forest. "Girls!" she called out in fear. "You shouldn't be going in there! I Pinkie Promised your sisters I'd keep you safe!"

Eventually she managed to track down the three fillies she had volunteered to watch over, but just as she found them a beam of blue light shot down from the heavens, a stream of darkness twirling around it. Misery, the last dark power from the box, distorted Pinkie's perceptions as it anchored in wicked seeds buried beneath the forest floor, empowering them to weaken the force that had held them at bay.

As the blue light embedded itself mostly into the necklace around Pinkie's neck - an artifact of great importance to her world - she heard the screams of the fillies. She thought the power had claimed their lives. She blamed herself. She had broken her promise.

The blue light returned to the world of its origin, twisted through space and time, leaving a changed Pinkie Pie in the home of the Furies...to be found by one whose life she would change forever.

Pinkie Pie shivered, feeling as though something of great importance had happened. As she shook, a gold choker fell out of her mane, bracing a blue gem in the shape of the marks on her flank. The gem glowed with immense power still sealed within, though it showed signs of having been tapped frequently recently. "Oh, pretty!" Pinkie said happily, putting the choker on.

Unsure what to think of this, Zeus spoke up. "However, there is a more important detail to be addressed," he explained. "While Ares had to be stopped, his throne on Olympus must not be left empty. Kratos, we promised you your life would be greatly improved. Will you accept your reward? Will you take the place you have earned on Olympus...as the new God of War?"

As the Olympian gate opened for Kratos, he found new blades bound to him, though less painfully than the Blades of Chaos had been. The Blades of Athena glittered gold in the sunlight. Smiling, he rested his hand on Calliope's back and Pinkie's head. "What do you think?" he asked. "Should I?"

"You should!" Pinkie said quickly. "It will let me keep my promise to Calliope! Now go on up, you two! I'll catch up in a jiffy!"

Smiling and nodding, Kratos took Calliope's hands and climbed the steps to his new throne on Olympus.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Pinkie turned to Zeus. "So when are you going to tell him why this all really happened...Grandpa?"

Zeus' eyes popped in surprise. "What...how do you...what?"

Athena rested a hand on his shoulder. "Father, I have watched over this family ever since they entered the service of Olympus...and I believe Kratos has discovered the greatest wisdom for a situation such as this."

"And what wisdom is that?" Zeus asked as the giggling pony bounded her way up the stairs after her father and sister.

Athena smiled. "It's Pinkie Pie. Don't question it."

Author's Note

Yup. The blue light that Pinkie has been releasing at odd intervals is the power of Hope, stored in the Element of Laughter she didn't know she was carrying...and released from the box because she stuck the box in her mane to keep her safe. Pretty sure I made it obvious who opened the box...but an internet cookie to each person who names the worlds affected first.

Changes

As Kratos took his new throne on Olympus, Fluffy and Leonidas curled up on either side of the throne, panting happily. Calliope walked around, examining the new surroundings. After a time, Pinkie bounced up happily. Glancing around, her eyes suddenly popped. "Sis!" she said happily. "I think I can keep my promise to you now!"

Calliope turned to her. "Promise?" she asked, confused. With everything that had happened, the conversation Pinkie was referring to had slipped her mind.

"To get you a flesh and blood body!" Pinkie said happily. "Can I try, Zeusy? Please?" She gave Zeus her cutest begging pout.

Zeus struggled not to laugh. "While I would happily give permission for the attempt, matters of life and death are my brother Hades' domain. It is up to him."

"Hadey-wadey!" Pinkie called out happily. "Can I? Please?"

A somewhat wicked sounding laugh echoed. "Oh, let's talk about that, shall we?" Black smoke pooled on the ground, and an unfamiliar figure rose out of it.

His hair gradiated from dark red to palest green. His skin was blue, crisscrossed with red lines. His eyes were black pools with red dots in the center. His garb seemed to be made of a blue liquid which - like his skin - seemed to be in a state of flux between dissolving and reforming. Claws tipped each finger and toe. A rather creepy grin adorned his face.

"Mmm, so what was it you needed again, Pinkie?" he asked, his voice echoing.

Gods and mortals alike stared at the apparition before them. Kratos was the first to speak. "I take it Persephone has awakened?"

"Oh yes, Kratos," Hades replied happily. "You were right about dear Sephy having her own opinions about my look and attitude, and I must say I just love her tastes." He shivered happily all over. "So dramatic and wicked! Oh, and when she gets excited...well, maybe I shouldn't talk about that in front of your daughters. They're still mortal, after all...as far as we know."

Zeus finally spoke up. "Brother, your new look is the second creepiest thing I've ever seen."

"Only the second?" Hades complained. "What could possibly be-"

"Pinkie Pie in her rampage," Zeus interrupted.

"Oh, yes, that would be hard to top, wouldn't it?" Hades admitted. "Well, you can't win them all." He turned to Pinkie. "So you want to give Calliope a flesh and blood body again?"

"Yeppers!" Pinkie said happily, having decided that - as creepy as he looked now - Hades was still a friend. "So can I? Please?"

Hades' grin widened. "With a few provisos, I don't see the problem."

Pinkie tilted her head. "Provisos?" she asked, confused.

"Just a couple of little somethings Sephy and I would like in return," he promised. "That's fair, right?"

"Sure!" Pinkie agreed. "What would you like?"

"Oh, we both would oh so love to finally have a taste of your warm, moist, delicious cupcake," Hades purred, licking his lips.

Pinkie backed away a little nervously. "I-I need an adult," she stammered.

Hades laughed. "Oh dear, sweet Pinkie...I am an adult. But why would you need one?"

Aphrodite, sitting nearby, facepalmed. "Pinkie," she spoke up, "as naughty as that request sounded, I don't think it was innuendo. Have Hades or Persephone had any of your cupcakes yet?"

Pinkie scratched her chin, then gasped. "Ooooh!" she said as realization struck her. "Why didn't you just say so?" Pulling out two cupcakes, she handed them to the God of the Dead. "By the way, how's the Overworld home coming?" she asked.

"I hired the Pathos family to build it, once Persephone was awake to tell them what to build," Hades admitted. "Architecture isn't exactly my area of expertise." He put one cupcake away in the folds of his robes, taking a bite of the other. He then let out a rather creepy moan of pleasure. "Oh, I so see what you mean, Artemis! I think I just did, too!" Artemis turned bright red, turning her face away. This only made Hades chuckle wickedly. "Oh, dear Sephy was so right. Making the rest of you squirm uncomfortably is so much fun! A much better revenge."

"Revenge?" Zeus asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, just because Sephy's happy with me now doesn't mean she doesn't still want to get back at the rest of you for making her stay with me," Hades explained. "Just because she's happy doesn't mean she's logical."

As Hades was speaking to the other gods, Pinkie had gotten to work. Pulling an ancient, rune inscribed tome from her mane, she had been reading through it as she drew a circle on the floor. Occasionally she mumbled something about "bad translations" or "missing ingredients". After a time, she finished drawing the circle. "Daddy!" she called out. "I need your blood!"

That got everyone's attention. Kratos, however, had learned long ago not to question Pinkie. Stepping up to the circle, he drew one of the Blades of Athena as he held out his other arm.

"Not too much!" Pinkie called out. "I'm gonna need to match however much you put in with an equal amount of mine!"

Nodding, Kratos cut his hand only, letting a trickle of blood into the center of the circle.

Pinkie cut her hoof, letting an equal amount of her own blood into the circle. The blood mixed and shaped a runic circle within the runic circle. "Okay sis! Stand in the center circle!"

Confused, Calliope clanked into the center of the circle. Alchemic energy surged, and the circle exploded.

"Don't worry!" Pinkie called out. "That was supposed to happen!"

As the smoke cleared, Calliope stood there, her body once more flesh and blood. Kratos could only stare. The same hair, the same eyes, the same smile...his daughter had returned!

There were a few unexpected things. For one thing, her body shape showed she had plainly passed through puberty, and had apparently gotten good genes from Kratos. This was only enhanced by the fact she was only clad in the top half of a plate mail, an armored loincloth, and armored boots. For another, the Blades of Chaos - now drawing power from Kratos - were strapped to her back, their chains wrapped around her arms, although there was no sign of burned flesh.

She also had pony ears and a tail.

"That was unexpected," Pinkie pointed out, glancing from Calliope's new ears to her new tail.

"I like them," Calliope admitted, rubbing her new ear.

"Quite fetching indeed," Hades replied. "Though it looks like your armored nature carried over." Raising a hand, he launched a ball of kinetic force at her.

Calliope instinctively raised her arm. The ball of force hit her arm, pushing her back slightly before dissipating. "I...barely felt that," Calliope pointed out.

"So she's Achilles but without the heel weakness?" Pinkie asked. "Wow, I totally didn't expect that!"

"Where did you get that book?" Zeus asked, staring at it in concern.

Pinkie glanced at the book. "...not sure..."

"Alright Alphonse," the young blonde boy said as he finished drawing the circle. "What does the book say next?"

The younger boy checked the book. He briefly noticed it looked different, but he was too focused on the task at hand. "It says...add sprinkles."

"...what?"

"That's what it says, Edward," Alphonse replied.

Edward shrugged. "...alright..." He added some sprinkles.

Shortly afterward, Edward was missing an arm and a leg, Alphonse' soul was bound to a suit of armor, and their mother - successfully revived - was giving them a stern lecture about messing with forces beyond their understanding. Later, she joined them on their quest for a philosopher's stone to restore their bodies.

Pinkie then jumped over to Hephaestus. "Oh, can I have some chain blades, too? Daddy's got some, Sis has got some...I want some, too!"

The smith god laughed. "Alright. What did you have in mind?"

"One for each hoof!" she cried happily.

Zeus, meanwhile, left to consult with certain entities about these latest developments.

In the Temple of the Fates, Lahkesis smiled as Zeus entered the halls. "Welcome, Zeus," she said, floating up to him. "What brings you to our hallowed halls?"

Zeus nodded courteously. "I come regarding the warning you gave me about my son, Kratos. I...do not see, given the current situation, how he might bring about the downfall of Olympus. Might I see the weave and how this will come to pass?"

Lahkesis frowned. "Something has changed, we know not what," she admitted. "Some force beyond our ability to manipulate has seized hold of the threads of Kratos and those closest to him, dragging them into new patterns. It even distorts the powers of the Oracles."

Zeus blinked. "Can that pink one have so much power?" he wondered in amazement.

Lahkesis rounded on him. "...what pink one?"

Ghost of Sparta...in One Chapter

Kratos' sleep, though more peaceful than it had been as a mortal, had yet to become truly peaceful. New nightmarish visions echoed through his mind, bringing him to wakefulness when he desired slumber. Each time he started awake, three furry heads would poke over the edge of the bed in concern, followed by a very poofy mane. "Same dream again, Daddy?" Pinkie asked.

Smiling, Kratos reached out to caress all four concerned faces. Fluffy wagged his tail in response, while Pinkie wriggled happily. "Yes," Kratos replied. "The same dream. The strangers attacking my village when I was a child...my brother being taken...my mother calling out to me from Atlantis..."

Pinkie scratched her chin. "This is the seventh time this week you've had that dream. I'm beginning to think it's not a dream."

Kratos nodded. "If it is not, then there is only one thing to do."

"Yuppers!" Pinkie agreed. "You need to ask Zeus and Poseidon to let you use the Olympian Gates to visit the Temple of Poseidon in Atlantis!"

Kratos blinked. He had thought to contact Calliope to gather the Spartans to set sail for Atlantis and force his way in. He never would have thought to ask permission to visit. "Indeed," he agreed, not about to admit to his own foolishness before Pinkie Pie. "I will go to do so at once." Standing, he strode quickly to the Gathering Chamber, where the gods met to discuss affairs mortal and divine alike.

As he approached, he heard Zeus and Poseidon discussing something.

"Are you certain?" Poseidon was asking. "All the plans are undone?"

"I just got back from speaking with the Fates," Zeus explained. "They cannot perceive her. Anything involving her is warped by her actions, beyond any ability to predict or foretell. Even the prophecy I acted on before no longer holds sway."

"In that case-" Poseidon cut himself off as Kratos entered. "Kratos, what is it you seek?"

As Zeus turned to him, Kratos spoke up. "I seek to use the Olympian Gates to visit my mother in your Temple in Atlantis," he told Poseidon, turning from one older god to the other.

Zeus frowned, stroking his chin in concern, thoughts of the prophecy amongst other things filling his mind, seeking an explanation for how Kratos had learned where his mother was. Poseidon also frowned, feeling belligerent in the sudden atmosphere of uncertainty.

Remembering something Pinkie had said some time before, Kratos added, "Please."

Zeus and Poseidon's jaws both dropped. "Uh...sure," Zeus allowed, completely poleaxed.

"Go ahead," Poseidon added, just as stupefied.

Kratos turned to collect Pinkie, Fluffy, Calliope, and Leonidas. He smiled as he walked. Truly, it was indeed a word of powerful magic.

Zeus turned to Poseidon. "Did you hear that?" he whispered.

"Kratos said please!" Poseidon replied, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Truly, Pinkie Pie's influence upon him has been profound," Zeus added.

"But..." Poseidon stroked his chin. "What influence is she having on the rest of us?"

The gods were lost in thought at the implications of that.

Arriving at the Temple via the Gates, Kratos and his companions were guided to where his mother rested. "Kratos," she spoke up weakly. "how I have missed you." She reached up towards him. "I have waited so long..."

"Mother," Kratos whispered, kneeling beside her.

"Grandma?" Pinkie asked excitedly, popping up beside Kratos to look at her excitedly.

"Grandmother?" Calliope added, stepping up beside Pinkie.

Leonidas rushed up from between Calliope's legs. Fluffy stuck his heads over Pinkie's shoulders.

Callisto looked from one face to another in confusion. "Kratos...who did you wed?"

Pinkie burst into fits of giggles as Calliope tilted her head in confusion. Kratos shook his head ruefully. "It is a long story, mother."

"Then I fear...I don't have time to hear it..." Callisto replied. "I have-"

She was interrupted as Pinkie stuffed a cupcake into her mouth. "Eat this!" she said happily. "Then you'll have plenty of time!"

Confused, she consumed the cupcake, moaning happily at the taste. "What wondrous medicine was that?" she asked as she felt strength return to her.

"A new cupcake recipe!" Pinkie said happily. "Normally it's just a dessert, but this one I made with some stuff from Olympus because Daddy dreamed you were weak. Figured this would help you regain your strength."

Callisto nodded as she sat up. "Amazing," she admitted. "So...you mentioned a long story, son?" She turned to Kratos. "How is one of my granddaughters a talking pony?"

"Oh, Daddy adopted me after finding me in the ruins of the Furies' Temple, which he destroyed because they were trying to make him go back to serving Ares, who he'd turned his back on after making him kill his wife and daughter!" Pinkie said quickly.

Blinking, Callisto turned from Kratos to Calliope in confusion.

"That was me," Calliope admitted. "Pinkie made me better."

"You have conquered Death?" Callisto asked Pinkie in shock.

"Oh, Hades has been a really good friend ever since I helped him repair his marriage with Persephone after I put her to sleep after she tried to destroy everything in a quest for revenge against Olympus for not allowing her to divorce him," Pinkie explained. "But now they're happily married, even if Hades is a little creepy now."

Callisto nodded. "And...the cerberus hounds?" she asked, pointing to Fluffy and Leonidas.

"We picked them up in Pandora's Temple!" Pinkie explained. "They were just too adorable! And they helped us help Daddy retrieve Pandora's Box, which we were going to use to kill Ares at Zeus' directions, but then we didn't need it, and now Daddy's the new God of War. And then Daddy had the dreams about you and his brother and Zeus and Poseidon gave permission for us to come see you!"

Callisto's mouth opened and closed slowly as she struggled to wrap her mind around all of this. The last thing stuck with her. "Zeus gave you permission to come see me?" she asked.

Kratos nodded. "It was Pinkie's idea to ask for permission."

"It is a good thing she did," Callisto explained. "Because it was Zeus who brought me here and forbade me from telling you what I tell you now save upon my deathbed."

Kratos' eyes widened. "But why would he order that?"

"Because it was he who ordered your brother be caged deep in Death's own realm, where Thanatos tortures him to this day," Callisto explained.

Pinkie gasped. "Zeus has a lot to answer for!" she proclaimed angrily. "Why would he not tell his own son that?"

"Zeus is my father?" Kratos asked in surprise.

"How do you know that?" Callisto demanded.

"I can see the god glow!" Pinkie explained. "All gods have two colors of glow. The inner color is their father, while the outer color is their own. That's why Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades all have the same dark brown glow that Kronos had. And Athena, Ares, and now Daddy all have the same yellow inner glow that is Zeus' outer glow!"

Kratos could feel his rage beginning to build in him, but he pushed it aside. "Can you come back to Olympus with us? Or back to Sparta with Calliope?"

Callisto shook her head. "Zeus has forbidden it. I may not leave this Temple, save through death."

"We'll talk him around!" Pinkie said happily. "He can't resist my cupcakes!"

Callisto chuckled. "I imagine not."

Kratos, Pinkie, and Calliope gave Callisto a farewell embrace, and she endured the canine affection from Fluffy and Leonidas. The group then made their way back to the Gate, and to Olympus. Callisto's last directions - that the path to Thanatos' realm would begin in the Temple of Ares in Sparta - echoed in their minds.

As Kratos passed through Olympus on his way to Sparta, Zeus called out to him. "Kratos! A moment!"

Kratos turned. "I am not exactly in the mood to hear your words...Father."

Zeus sighed. "Callisto told you?"

"Of what you had done," Kratos explained. "It was Pinkie who revealed that you were my father."

"Kratos..." Zeus began, then sighed. "Kratos, before you go off, will you allow me to explain? ...please?"

Kratos wanted to ignore Zeus, but he found himself sitting to hear his words. He justified it to himself that it would disappoint Pinkie if he didn't.

Zeus sat beside him. "Kratos...when you and your brother were young, the Fates foretold that the Marked Warrior born of Sparta would bring about the downfall of Olympus. Your brother's birthmark seemed to be what they were speaking of, so Athena and Ares were sent to take Deimos from Sparta to Thanatos' realm, to prevent the prophecy from coming to pass. However, Ares discovered that the prophecy actually spoke of you, and how you marked yourself in memory of your brother. He sought to use you to overthrow Olympus for that reason." Zeus straightened himself. "I do not apologize for acting to protect Olympus. But I do apologize for the mistakes I have made in attempting to do so-"

"But Daddy would never have marked himself if you hadn't taken Uncle Deimos!" Pinkie pointed out. "And if he didn't mark himself, then Ares wouldn't have sought to use him, because Daddy wouldn't have turned himself into the ultimate warrior with his drive to avenge his brother, but never finding those who he was told killed him."

Zeus' eyes widened, and his face fell into his palm. "Accursed self-fulfilling prophecies...even we Gods fall prey to them." He raised his head. "Kratos, I implore you to seek out Thanatos and find a way to retrieve your brother from his grasp. We cannot command him, so divine authority will not sway him...but go with the will of Olympus. Please, correct my mistake."

Kratos got to his feet. "It will take more than this to heal the breach between us," he replied seriously. Seeing Zeus' face fall, he relented. "But it is a good start." Turning, he gestured to his daughters and their pets to join him on his path to Sparta.

Retrieving the artifact they needed to access Thanatos realm from the Temple of Ares in Sparta passed without incident. Acting on the will of Olympus, the divine enchantments upon the Temple did not hold them back as they sought the Skull of Keres. Once it was retrieved, they returned to Olympus.

...stopping just long enough for Pinkie and Calliope to make Kratos visit the brothel while Calliope visited the barracks and Pinkie attempted to visit the stables, only for all the horses to run away from her, much to her resentment.

Once more in Atlantis, the Skull of Keres was used to open the Death's Gate, and they entered Thanatos' realm.

Kratos wanted to seek out Deimos and leave, but Pinkie stopped him. "It'd be terribly rude to come into Thanatos' house without paying our respects!" she pointed out.

"Why should I care about being rude?" Kratos demanded. "Do you think we can just tell Thanatos, 'Please release my brother?' and he will?"

"It can't hurt to try," Pinkie pointed out. She then drew a blade from where it crisscrossed her back. "And if it doesn't work, I can try out the new blades Heffy made me!"

Kratos glanced at her armaments. He hadn't paid much attention when she'd armed herself back on Olympus before they headed here. The design of the new blades was similar to the Blades of Chaos or the Blades of Athena, and anchored to chains around all four of her legs. The four blades were sheathed across her back, marked with symbols of the four primary elements of Olympian Magic: fire, ice, lightning, and spirit. She had drawn the spirit blade which flickered with dark purple energy. "Impressive," he admitted.

"I know, right?" Pinkie proclaimed happily. "And I really want to try them out...so I kinda hope Thanatos is stubborn."

"So what is the plan, then?" Calliope asked. "Offer him a choice of cupcakes or painful death?"

"Or both, if that's his thing!" Pinkie replied. "He is Death, so you never know." She then bounced along.

As Kratos and Calliope's eyes widened in concern, they pursued Pinkie through the realm.

Pinkie reached Thanatos throne before Kratos and Calliope had caught up to her. "Hey Thanatos, can I have my Uncle back?" she asked happily. "Please?"

Thanatos stared at her, one eyebrow lowered while the other was raised, having never encountered one like Pinkie before. "And...why would I do that?" he asked.

"Cause if you do, I'll give you cupcakes!" Pinkie offered happily, holding out boxes of cupcakes.

"And...if I don't?" Thanatos asked, intrigued.

Putting the cupcakes down, Pinkie balanced on her tail as she drew all four blades out. "Then I get to test the new weapons Hephaestus made me by giving you a gruesome, painful death!"

Thanatos laughed. "You actually think to kill Death?"

"I'll even feed you to a grue if I have to!" Pinkie proclaimed happily.

Thanatos laughed harder. "You truly think cupcakes will buy the freedom of one I hold prisoner?" He reached forward and plucked one of the pastries from the box.

Pinkie nodded. "A baker's dozen each for you and your daughter," she offered. "In exchange for releasing Uncle Deimos and breaking whatever hold you might have on him that you've been using to twist him around and torment him. Go ahead and try that one!"

Smirking, Thanatos took a bite of the cupcake. After sitting frozen for a full minute, he replied, "Deal!"

Deimos shook his head in disbelief as he walked back to Sparta side by side with his brother the god, his niece the invincible pony girl, his other niece the inexplicable Pink One, and their pets. He had just been regaled with the story of how he had been rescued at long last from Thanatos' realm, and why he hadn't been saved sooner. "It's...a lot to take in," Deimos admitted. "You really bought my freedom for...pastries?"

"26 of them," Kratos confirmed.

Deimos shrugged. "It's just hard to believe that was all it took to change Thanatos' mind..."

"Oh, you haven't tried one yet!" Pinkie piped up, handing him a cupcake.

Shrugging his shoulders, he took a bite of the pastry. He nearly choked on his pleased gasp. "You overpaid!" he gasped out around his mouthful.

"I don't think so!" Pinkie said, nuzzling his leg. "After all, cupcakes I can always make more of."

Divine Policy

Pinkie Pie bounced happily along through the halls of Mount Olympus, not a care in her mind. For the first time in her life here in Greece, there wasn't anything hanging over her head as far as what she had to do. As she danced, she went down a list in her mind of everything she had accomplished.

She had kept her promise to her Daddy. Kratos smiled almost constantly now as he watched over his Spartans, expanding the empires of Greece and bringing glory to his name and that of Olympus. Between that, the various entertainments he had on Olympus, and the occasional hop down to the lands below to join the battle on a mortal scale for the thrill, he was truly content. The last of his nightmares had finally faded.

She had kept her promise to her sister. She now lived in Sparta, the living avatar of the new God of War, bringing courage and glory to the soldiers under her command. There were some rumors about other things she brought the soldiers under her command, but Pinkie had long ago decided that as long as Calliope was happy, her love life was none of Pinkie's business. Kratos had been uncertain how to face this side of Calliope, so he did what many fathers in ancient Greece did when confronted with their daughters' sexual nature: pretended it didn't exist, refused to discuss it, and - taking advantage of his godly status - bribed Artemis to ensure that Calliope wouldn't get pregnant until she was married, and then saved his attention for any soldiers that tried to court Calliope for more than a night of fun after an exciting battle.

She had kept her promise to her Uncle. He now lived primarily in the city of Sparta, which was now far more glorious than it had been what with all the wealth and glory Calliope brought back from her battles. Deimos was currently the High Warrior Priest, caretaker of the Temple to Kratos that had been built to glorify the new God of War. The Temple of Ares was no longer visited, but nor was it demolished or looted, out of respect to the other gods. It was a little bit awkward for Deimos to serve in a Temple to his own brother, but he managed it admirably.

She had also kept her promise to her grandmother. Callisto now lived in the Temple of Kratos in Sparta. She was still restricted from leaving the temple, but she now spent her days badgering Deimos about finding a bride and giving her more grandchildren, and badgering Calliope about finding a husband to give her great-grandchildren. It hadn't been that difficult to talk Zeus around. Pinkie had managed it by promising to cater all future meetings of the Gods of Olympus for as long as she lived on Olympus. That had won Zeus over immediately...as soon she explained what 'catering' was.

And she knew for certain she'd kept her promise to Hades and Persephone. Last she'd heard, they were living happily together on their island hideaway, and Persephone was even pregnant. This was wondrous news for all of Greece and Olympus, and probably the reason why spring had run extra long this year. Winter had ended six months ago, but it was still Spring. The news that she was planning to change her name - to Palu-something, last Pinkie heard - hadn't been greeted as well, but the other gods had accepted it. They were also all looking forward to the birth - and naming - of her son when he was born.

All in all, Greece and Olympus were at peace, and nothing seemed to be causing problems. Pinkie was quite happy with this situation, as it meant everyone would be happy. She liked it when everyone was smiling. Without even being aware of it, she found herself humming a song about it.

It was as she reached the more somber part of the song's tune that she was distracted by the sounds of a heated argument. Confused, she sought out the source, and found Artemis and Hestia in a heated debate over something that she couldn't quite make sense of. However, she wasn't about to let it go on further. She knew what arguments between the gods led to when left unchecked. They led to the kind of things that made Kratos a god, and she didn't want to go through all that again. "Stop it!" she shouted, forcing the two apart, stretching her limbs to put them at opposite sides of the hallway. "No fighting!"

"But she-" Artemis began.

"But she-" Hestia countered.

"No!" Pinkie snapped. "No more fighting! No more using mortals to settle disputes! No more feuds that destroy lives!" She took a deep breath. "Meeting Time!" she bellowed, her voice a good impression of a certain Moon deity she didn't remember she'd already befriended.

As Kratos walked into the main meeting hall of Olympus, he found it amusing how easily Pinkie had managed to wrap the entire pantheon around her hoof. One shout of meeting time from her and every god had dropped what they were doing to tromp to the meeting hall, taking their seats on their thrones surrounding the central table. He did notice that, instead of the usual solid table that was there, there was now a ring wrapping around in front of each seat, a ring of stone just inside that Pinkie was running around on, a pit full of dirt, and a podium hovering over the pit.

Pinkie banged a gavel on the podium. "I call this meeting to order!" she began.

"You aren't a god!" Apollo complained. "What right do you have to-"

"Behave or no snacks for you!" Pinkie shouted, pointing from him to a table full of cupcakes and her other sweet confections suspended above the podium. Apollo immediately took his seat, and every other god and goddess present also quieted their objections.

Kratos couldn't help but smirk. So that was how Pinkie had all the gods wrapped up so neatly. She had a leash on all of them connected directly to their stomachs.

Seeing Pinkie's pouting glower towards him, he smoothed the smug smirk off his face. Then again, he probably wasn't that different from them. She had a leash on him, too, even if it was anchored a bit higher up his body.

Pinkie then addressed the assembled. "Gods and Goddesses, there is a problem. Your egos." She banged her gavel again for silence. "You are all Gods and Goddesses, this is true. However, you all are also immature spoiled brats who throw a temper tantrum whenever you don't get your own way." When this statement caused Hades to burst into laughter, she banged her gavel on his skull to make him stop. "Now, if you were mortals, this wouldn't cause too much in the way of problems...but you're gods. When you throw a temper tantrum, you threaten the very weft of creation and the safety of all the mortal realms, not to mention the peace of Olympus.

"However, using mortals to settle disputes creates things like my Daddy." She gestured to where Kratos sat. "Considering what I've heard about various prophecies regarding him, I'm pretty sure nobody here wants to go through that again." The whole gathered throng laughed and nodded at that. Pinkie certainly knew how to work this crowd. "However, I think I've come up with a solution.

"It is true that the Gods of Olympus aren't allowed to make war on one another, for just the reasons I've stated," she explained. "But what about some form of competition between any arguing gods that wouldn't threaten anything, would be fun both to participate in and observe, and wouldn't risk anyone getting hurt?" She turned to Zeus. "Would that be acceptable?"

Zeus raised an eyebrow. "Pinkie, if you have come up with such a solution to conflicts, by all means speak it."

Grinning hugely, Pinkie pressed a button on the podium that dumped a flood of water into the pit of dirt beneath her. "Mud wrestling!"

Everyone stared at her for a time. Eventually, Hades and Athena spoke up, expressing the majority of opinions in response to this suggestion.

"What?" Athena asked.

"Oh, my!" Hades purred.

Pinkie gestured to the pit that was now filled with mud. "Mud wrestling. Any time two gods get into a disagreement, they settle it by wrestling each other in the mud. No god powers, no armor, and no killing. The wrestling goes on until one of them gives up, or one manages through skill despite the viscosity of the mud to keep their opponent pinned for a duration of time to be agreed upon before the match starts. No assistance from the other gods, partisanship is to be shown by betting on who you think will win, with the spoils being divided evenly between all who bet on the winner, and all wagers are to be of equal value."

"Let me get this straight," Hades spoke up. "From now on, anytime any two of us get into a disagreement, we strip down, climb into a pit of mud, and wrangle our firm, toned, sweaty, naked, dirty bodies against each other until one of us can't take it anymore or establishes absolute dominance? And everyone not fighting sits around, placing bets, and enjoying the show?" He rubbed his hands together as he cackled wickedly. "Oh, Pinkie, you always come up with the most delicious ideas! ...but does it have to be mud?"

"Well, I could see my way to accepting jello or scented oils as substitutes for mud," Pinkie replied, "as long as they meet the base viscosity requirements. The whole point is for the slipperiness of the skin to negate any advantages of strength to put everyone on an even playing field."

Hades glanced around the god table. "Plainly, I'm not the only one who likes this idea," he chortled, noticing several of his fellow deities actually drooling at the concept.

"I even have a conflict to start it off with!" Pinkie proclaimed. "Artemis, Hestia, I don't know what you were fighting about, but settle it...in Smush!" she proclaimed, pointing to the mud pit.

As many of the gods drooled as the two virgin goddesses stripped down before climbing into the mud, Hades chortled. "Oh Pinkie...you are such a treat!"

Pinkie giggled happily as she passed out refreshments as the pantheon watched on. Plainly, this idea of hers would work out just fine.

The Trilogy That Wasn't

"Heffy! Heffy!"

Hephaestus groaned slightly as he turned away from his forge. His eyes fell on the tiny pink pony bouncing towards him, dragging a train of wagons behind her that would have given many gods pause. But it was Pinkie Pie, so he didn't question it. "What is it, Pinkie Pie?"

"Can I borrow your forge?"

Hephaestus blinked. Of all the things he might have expected her to ask, this wasn't one of them. "Why?"

"Because I need to make some gigantic cupcakes, and your forge is the only oven big enough!" she replied as if the answer should be obvious.

"Just...how big are these cupcakes going to be?" he asked, looking around at his forge.

"Big enough for you to swim in, so I'll have to only make one at a time."

His eyes popped open at the very idea of a cupcake big enough to swim in. "Who's going to be eating cupcakes that size?"

"Well, Kronos and Gaea at first-"

"What?" Hephaestus demanded, shooting to his feet. "You intend to give cupcakes to the Titans?"

"Well, duh!" Pinkie countered. "How else am I going to get them talking instead of rampaging?"

"But...why?"

"So they'll come to the peace summit, duh!" Pinkie countered, rolling her eyes.

"Peace...summit?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie explained. "The one where the Gods and the Titans forgive each other for all the craziness that happened way back when."

Hephaestus laughed. "You really expect that to work?" he demanded in disbelief.

"Grandpa Zeus said he'd set it up if I can get Great-Grandpa Kronos to come," Pinkie countered, "so I'm already half way there!"

Hephaestus stared at her for a time, then threw his hands into the air in resignation. "Alright! Go ahead!" He wasn't about to question Pinkie Pie and Zeus. As he walked out of the forge to visit Aphrodite, however, he paused over one wagon. "Why does this wagon have 17 barrels of nectar, 20 baskets of Ambrosia, and a dozen golden apples?"

"Oh, that's for Aegaeon's cupcake," Pinkie explained. "Pretty sure he's not quite dead, so he needs the super-medicinal one to get back on his feet."

"Wasn't Aegaeon...turned into the Furies' temple?" Hephaestus asked nervously.

"Yup!" Pinkie agreed. "I'm gonna need Gaea and Kronos help just to get him eating!"

Hephaestus fled his own forge, deciding that he wanted to be far away from the unfolding of any Pinkie Pie scheme.

In the Desert of Lost Souls, Kronos continued his wandering, the Temple of Pandora and the mountain it sat on chained to his back. He had lost track of how long he had been there, carrying the Temple back and forth, turning at the calling of a horn. This was his existence, the punishment Zeus had laid upon him when the Gods won the war. A rage burned inside him because of this.

Hearing the snapping of chains, he paused. He felt his burden being lifted from his back, before feeling air upon it as he witnessed the Temple and mountain being lobbed into the distance, to land far more gently than physics should have allowed. As he sat back in surprise, a small pink pony landed in one hand, a massive confection landing in the other.

"Hungry?" the tiny pony asked. "You must be, after all these years. Eat up. We've got a lot to talk about."

Confused, Kronos took a bite of the confection. It was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. "Who...are you?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" she replied happily.

Kronos continued to devour the confection, finding his rage pushed aside by curiosity. "You said we had something to discuss?"

"Would Zeus have come after you and the other Titans if you hadn't eaten his siblings?" Pinkie asked.

"But...the Fates decreed-"

"Have you ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy?" she interrupted.

Kronos lowered his face to be eye level with the pony in his hand. "Explain."

Pinkie grinned widely. "Well, it's like this..."

In the Temple of the Fates, Lahkesis swept back and forth in concern. The Pink One Zeus had spoken of continued to be a concern. It had been bad enough when her presence twisted Kratos thread in unexpected paths. But then, as the influence spread further, all touched by her became invisible to the Fates' vision. The threads vanished one by one from the loom, still present but beyond their reach or perception. At first it was just Kratos and Calliope, but then their mortal family...and then the gods...

And now the threads of the Titans' Fates had vanished. The loom was all but empty to their eyes, and their power could no longer damage the invisible threads. They had to do something soon, before all they worked for came undone.

At that moment, the Tower the main Temple was built in shuddered, the tremors from the impacts of massive hands. Making her way to a mirror, Lahkesis scryed the outside of the Temple...and her blood ran cold.

There upon the outside of the ancient tower, the Titans en masse were climbing to the Temple. All of them, free from their chains and with rage in their eyes, were coming for the Sisters of Fate.

"Kinda bites when people you're used to manipulating actually start thinking, doesn't it?" a pert voice said from behind her.

Lakhesis spun, and found herself face to face with a pink pony armed with four blades. "You are the pink one?" she demanded in disbelief.

"Yup!" she replied. "Name's Pinkie Pie. I'm kinda here to kill all three of you."

"You? Kill us?" Lakhesis laughed. "Don't you know there is no power greater than the Sisters of Fate?"

"Care to put that to the test?" Pinkie asked. "You're the one who reads the threads. What do they say about me?" Seeing the Fate's hesitation, her grin widened. "That's right. I'm not under your power, am I? Kinda implies I stand a chance against you, doesn't it?"

"We'll see about that!" Lakhesis hissed. "You seem to feel you need the Titans' backing to face us-"

Pinkie's laughter cut the Fate off. "Oh, they aren't here to help me!" she giggled. "They're just here to make sure you don't run away! Same with them!" She then pointed straight up.

Looking up, Lakhesis' jaw went slack. The entirety of Olympus was arrayed above the Temple upon steeds of their various elements: Zeus on a thunderbird, Helios on his Chariot, Hades on a shroud of shadows, Hephaestus upon a Pheonix' back, and Kratos astride a dragon, amongst countless others.

"Kind of a condition of the peace treaty between Gods and Titans," Pinkie explained. "Both the Gods and the Titans wanted to be the ones to kill you once they understood how you'd been manipulating everything from day one...but neither side wanted the other to get all the fun. So since I was the only one present who was neither Titan nor Olympian, I get first go at all three of you - using magic from both Gods and Titans - and if any of you get away from me, it's whoever catches you that gets first dibs."

"And you think we will just lie down quietly while you do this?" Atropos hissed as she flowed through the air, charging at Pinkie.

Grinning, Pinkie hopped up and kicked Atropos into one of her time-space mirrors, the very one Lakhesis was using to view the Titans, causing the image to vanish as Atropos phased into it. "I don't think you get a choice, Trappy!" Pinkie shouted, drawing all four blades before using her tail to launch herself into the mirror after Atropos like a spring.

"What?" Atropos screamed from within the mirror. "How can you follow me in-" Her words were cut off by her blood curdling scream of agony.

"I'm Pinkie Pie, bitch!" Pinkie bellowed from within the mirror. She then leapt out, sheathing all four blades as blood poured out of all the mirrors. "Don't question it!" She shoved the blades the last inch into their sheaths, and all the mirrors went dark and shattered.

"You killed my sister!" Lakhesis bellowed, launching green energy at the pony from her staff.

Pinkie leapt into the air. "Sorry, don't wanna play energy ball tennis with you right now!" She then came down hard, slamming her hooves into the ground.

The entire tower bucked, spikes of earth erupting from the ground as Gaea's Wrath was amplified by Pinkie's innate magic and the force of Hephaestus' hammer. Lakhesis attempted to dodge, but before long found herself hemmed in on all sides by the earth spines. When she tried to break free, the souls of the damned seized her, dragging her to the ground. "You...you can't have this much power!" she gasped.

Grinning, Pinkie drew her lightning blade, energizing it with Zeus and Kronos Fury. "Shocking, isn't it?" she proclaimed before flinging it forward, embedding it in Lakhesis' chest and discharging the stored electricity. The Fate exploded.

Deep inside the Temple of the Fates, Clotho shuddered where she sat, massive as she spun her threads. She had felt the deaths of her sisters, and knew not what force had come against them. Fear gnawed away at her insides as she heard steady hoofsteps approach her chambers. "I know not who you are, warrior," she spoke up, "but you know not what you do. Greece and Olympus need us."

"No, they don't," the calm voice replied as Pinkie Pie stepped into the light. "They never did."

Clotho stared. "Who or what are you?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie," she replied with a calm smile. "But you know me as 'The Pink One'. The one who's been making it so you can't read the Fates of those around me. And I've come to bring an end to you all, by the will of Olympus and the Titans."

Clotho stared at her. "What you speak is impossible!" she proclaimed.

"I'm Pinkie Pie," Pinkie replied. "Your argument is invalid."

Clotho's face screwed up in confusion. "What does that even-"

"Let me show you what I'm talking about, Clotho," Pinkie replied, walking up to the seemingly empty loom. "Let me show you what you've been denying to the world...what I've brought back." She lay her hoof upon the weft.

Before Clotho's eyes, pink light spread, dancing across the threads as the future became visible once more, dancing endlessly as it diverged over and over and over again into infinite possibilities, spiraling in and around each other as they progressed towards a shining moment they all eventually reached.

Clotho stared in incomprehension at the image of the Titans leaving Earth to the stars, with life of all sort following after them.

"Someday, Earth won't need the magic of the Titans anymore to sustain it," Pinkie explained. "Someday, the Gods will be able to take care of that themselves. When that day comes...the Titans will seek out new worlds amongst the stars to reshape for the life they have nurtured, and that life will follow them. That future could never come to pass so long as the Fates hold life back. The Earth has cast off the shackles you three laid upon her, and Hope reigns once more." Drawing her hoof back, the image began to fade.

"No!" Clotho gasped out in desperation. "Please, don't take it away!" She actually began to cry. "That shining future...please...let me see it..."

Smiling, Pinkie put her hoof to the loom again, letting the image reappear. "This is what your death will bring, Clotho," she said softly. "This is what the future holds...without you. Do you understand?"

Clotho nodded, her eyes still transfixed by the image.

Pinkie closed her eyes. "Then let that hope guide you into Mu," she murmured. Her blades lashed out as she mentally commanded the chains.

Even as she died, Clotho never took her eyes from the vision of life seeding the stars.

Pinkie returned to the outside of the Temple just as the Titans reached the peak. "Three for three!" she called out happily.

There was a bit of pouting from the more bloodthirsty Gods and Titans, but this was drowned out by the cheers. Fate no longer held sway over the future. Time was their own to write. Man, God, Titan, and Pony...in their hands and hooves the future would be molded.

Homeward Bound

Poseidon carefully oversaw the work his fellow gods were doing in the former Temple of Fates. While the place no longer controlled the fates of the world, it did still hold the records of all history so far...and some of its magic could be useful for other things.

Poseidon had agreed - in theory - with the decision of the other gods regarding seeing to it that Pinkie did not breed during her adventures with Kratos. It was one thing to like Pinkie Pie, to enjoy having her around, to find her absolutely adorable. It was quite another to believe that Greece could handle several of her running around. Just the mental image of a bunch of Pinkie's bouncing around shouting, "Fun! Fun!" had given the entire pantheon nightmares. So enchantments had been laid, seeing to it no denizen of ancient Greece and the lands beyond would be able to breed with her. Oddly enough, the "Fun! Fun!" nightmares had been all that was necessary to make that possible.

However, Poseidon didn't like the idea that Pinkie would not be allowed to breed at all, or ever know the joys of sex and romance, an unfortunate side effect of the enchantment laid down for Greece's protection. After the Fates had been slain, a thought had occurred to him. No one in Greece would breed with Pinkie...but Pinkie wasn't originally from Greece. Her thread was on the loom, but so alien that it was invisible to the Fates, and rendered the threads she touched invisible as well.

No one in Greece...but what about the world Pinkie came from? Surely, if it were populated by creatures like Pinkie, it could handle them?

Poseidon had tracked down Pinkie's thread on the loom, and had tracked it backwards to the point when she arrived in the Furies' temple. He had assumed that going back further would allow him to track her back to her world, and use that to anchor a portal between her world and Greece.

What he hadn't expected was the sheer amount of time dilation that became involved the moment he tried to reach through the portal. His attempt to manipulate it had brought Chronos - Lord of Time, the Divine Origin - to physically manifest to see which of his grandchildren was muddling in his domain. Unsurprisingly, Pinkie Pie had already befriended Chronos with cupcakes and laughter, and he was quite willing to help unmuddle the tangle once he learned what Poseidon was trying to do.

Both had been rather surprised to learn that when Pinkie had passed through her world's end of the portal, she had been fully grown, about the same age she was now. However, it made things much simpler, as they only had to anchor the portal to when she left, rather than trying to anchor onto the relative 'now', and Pinkie could pick up her life there where she left off. None who knew Pinkie doubted her ability to do that, no matter how different her original life had been.

The work now - the rather difficult work, at that - was transferring the stable portal to Olympus, so Pinkie could go back and forth between her two worlds at will. While Pinkie may have needed to return to her own world to safely pursue her adult life as a member of her species, none of the Gods or Titans wanted the goodbye to be permanent.

Kratos and Pinkie Pie journeyed to a remote corner of Olympus at Zeus' summons. Both were uncertain what this was about, but were at ease. They trusted their family, after all.

Upon arrival, they discovered a gateway through which could be seen a world of brilliant greens and blues, vast untamed forests, and distant Greek structures seeming to float in the sky.

"Where in Greece is this, Father?" Kratos asked, knowing Zeus would be nearby.

"Believe it or not, Kratos, it isn't Greece at all," Zeus said, stepping out from beside the portal. "It's Pinkie's homeworld, the one she comes from originally."

Kratos blinked in surprise. "No wonder it was so easy for her to adapt to here," he muttered, seeing a Hydra briefly pass through the view.

"Looks like fun!" Pinkie said happily. "But how'd it get here?" She gestured to the portal itself to indicate her inquiry.

"We built it for you, Pinkie Pie," Zeus explained. "We know that certain aspects of your life have been...unfulfilled. We believed that you would have better luck with members of your own race."

Pinkie started to look excited, but then her face fell. "Does...does this mean I have to leave?" she whimpered.

"You can if you so choose," Zeus explained. "And we would like to see you live your life to the fullest."

"But..." Pinkie looked up with watery eyes. "But I don't wanna say goodbye to everyone..."

Zeus frowned in confusion. "I...don't understand."

"If...If I go back home..." She sniffled adorably. "I'll never see all of you ever again!"

"Why wouldn't you?" Zeus asked, even more thoroughly confused. "You couldn't get that busy that quickly, could you?"

"Huh?" Pinkie asked, her turn to be confused. "But...isn't it a one way trip?"

Zeus laughed. "Whatever gave you that idea?" As he calmed his laughter, he smiled at her. "Pinkie Pie, since we discovered how to reach your world, we've all worked day and night to ensure that the passage from here to there would be stable, so you could go back and forth at will-"

Zeus was cut off as Pinkie propelled herself into him, hugging him around the neck tight enough to threaten even a god's breathing. "Thank you so much Grandpa!" she squealed happily before dashing off to thank everyone else involved.

Zeus rubbed his neck, chuckling. "And, unfortunately, that's why any reunions of introducing family members from either side will need to happen on that side of the portal," he muttered.

"Father," Kratos spoke up, "I would like permission to accompany Pinkie through the portal, and stay with her until she's settled again."

"Granted," Zeus said easily. "Stay as long as you wish, and visit whenever you desire."

"Whee!" Pinkie yelled happily, having said her goodbyes and now riding Fluffy through the portal.

Chuckling, Kratos followed.

Pinkie Pie, Kratos, and Fluffy came out in an old, dilapidated castle surrounded by writhing, thorny vines. "First day back and already combat?" Pinkie squealed happily. "Awesome!" Drawing her flame blade, she quickly began carving her way through the vines. Kratos followed, rolling his eyes as he drew his own blades.

Part way through the forest just outside the castle, Fluffy's three heads shot out into the underbrush, each head pulling back with a screaming filly in his jaws: a unicorn, a pegasus, and a pony who was neither like Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie gasped, recognition triggering a return of sealed memories. "Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo!" Pulling them out of Fluffy's jaws, she yanked them onto his back where she hugged them tight. "I was so, so, so, so worried about you three! Don't you know how dangerous the Everfree Forest is?"

"It didn't used to be this dangerous," Scootaloo grumbled.

"At least not until that freaky light show and all the vines sprouting up trying ta eat us," Apple Bloom added.

"Who's that?" Sweetie Belle squeaked, pointing at Kratos.

"Right, introductions!" Pinkie said happily. "Girls, this is my Daddy Kratos, the God of War!"

The three fillies looked up at Kratos, who smiled in as friendly a manner as he could manage.

"Yup," Apple Bloom said after a while.

"I can see it," Sweetie added.

"Makes sense," Scootaloo added.

"And this is Fluffy!" Pinkie added happily. Fluffy, for his part, gave all three fillies a lick, making them giggle. "Now you girls introduce yourselves."

"I'm Apple Bloom!"

"I'm Sweetie Belle!"

"I'm Scootaloo!"

"And we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" the three shouted together.

"But I don't think we'll be getting our Cutie Marks in vine taming," Apple Bloom said nervously.

"Or horticulture," Sweetie added. "We couldn't even help that crystal tree the vines were attacking down in that cave."

"We'll help it then!" Pinkie proclaimed. "That sounds like a quest point! Mush Fluffy!"

Barking, Fluffy lunged forward towards the cave Sweetie Belle had mentioned. Inside, a large crystal tree was indeed under attack by the vines.

Pinkie felt a pulsing around her neck, where the golden choker she now recognized as her Element of Laughter hung. "Maybe this will do something?" she suggested, holding the Element towards the tree.

With a flare of blue light, all the energy of Hope that had been released from Pandora's Box to eventually be stored in the Element erupted, pouring into the Tree and reenergizing it. As the power flared brightly, the vines dissolved.

"Wow!" Apple Bloom said in awe.

"Amazing!" Sweetie Belle added.

"Do it again!" Scootaloo cried happily.

At that moment, the cavern around the tree shifted. A voice echoed. "...what brings Olympian power to our new world?" a familiar voice inquired, as though having awakened from a long sleep.

Pinkie and Kratos both gasped, recognizing the voice. "Gaea?" they asked together in shock.

"Pinkie? Kratos?" Gaea responded in shock. Her face appeared in the ground in front of the tree. "It has been so long since I heard from either of you...since the Titans left Earth to forge new worlds...since you returned to your own world, Pinkie Pie. What brings you to this new world we Titans have forged and laid ourselves down within to slumber, to sustain its powerful magical field?"

"Well, apparently it's my home world!" Pinkie explained. "And apparently thousands of years in the future relative to when I arrived in Greece. No wonder the Fates couldn't see my thread. I was born so long after their demise their power had already faded completely!"

"Then you live your life here?" Gaea asked. "How wondrous! And you, Ghost of Sparta, you come to help her settle?"

"And hopefully to see whatever grandchildren she might give me," Kratos replied.

Gaea smiled. "That is good. Most of the Titans sustain forces of this world, or stand guard in the deepest depths of this world's Tartarus over the worst evils this world has produced. But tell me Pinkie...do you still..."

Pinkie smiled widely. "Here you go!" she said happily, lobbing an unwrapped cupcake forward.

Gaea's stone face opened its mouth wide, catching the delectable treat. "Though much smaller, as delicious as I remember...even more." A distant rumble could be heard. "The other Titans have heard your return, and come. They wish to reunite with you again."

Pinkie gasped. "I'd better get to Sugarcube Corner and get to baking then!" she cried. "Mush, Fluffy!" she shouted, turning Fluffy towards Ponyville and giving him a kick in his side to urge him to great speeds.

Kratos rolled his eyes and pursued her.

Twilight was startled out of a sound sleep by Celestia teleporting into her room. "Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped loudly, leaping to her hooves as her wings flapped out randomly. "What's going on?"

"Twilight, a matter of gravest urgency has arisen," Celestia replied. "Not too long ago, a massive surge of darkest magic both arose and vanished from deep in the Everfree Forest. And now the Titans - the great beings who shaped our world in times long forgotten - have awoken from eons slumber and converge on Ponyville from all across the globe."

Twilight's eyes went wide. "But why? What could have caused this?"

"I do not-"

Celestia was interrupted as Pinkie Pie popped out of her mane. "Hey Princess Celestia! Hey Twilight! Say, I've got some relatives coming to Ponyville for a reunion and some cupcakes. They're a mite on the large size, so I hope they don't cause too much damage walking here. I've asked them to meet outside of town, though, and I'll be serving cupcakes! Feel free to come and introduce yourselves! All of Ponyville's invited!" She then vanished back into Celestia's mane.

Celestia and Twilight stared at each other for a time. "You don't suppose...?" Celestia asked nervously.

"At this point, nothing about Pinkie Pie could surprise me," Twilight muttered.

"I...stand corrected," Twilight muttered, staring at the Olympian family reunion that had devolved into a drunken orgy with mudpits, cupcakes, and Pinkie Pie table dancing.

She Likes 'em Big

Pinkie Pie woke up the morning after the massive reunion party alone.

She did her best to not be sad about this. After all, she had tons to be happy about. She had returned to the world of her origins, which - as it turned out - was crafted in her image by the Titans out of fond remembrance of her. The Titans were all here and happy to see her. The Olympians could come back and forth at will for visits. The Cakes had no problems building a tower silo addition to the bakery so Kratos could live upstairs. She had reconnected with all her friends she suddenly remembered. And she had thrown one of her biggest parties ever.

Still, she couldn't stop her mane from deflating slightly when she felt only her own warmth in her bed. She had thought that here, at long last, in her own homeworld, she'd find someone...

Pushing herself to her hooves, she managed to be her usually cheerful self as she went about her daily activities. She spent a good amount of time playing with the twins, who were overjoyed to see her. Kratos was sleeping late, so she decided not to wake him. She also spent a good amount of her morning at the bakery, greeting and serving customers. Eventually, however, Mr. and Mrs. Cake suggested she take some time to readjust to Ponyville again, so she headed out to do just that.

She made sure to visit each of her friends and talk a little bit about what had happened to her in Ancient Greece. Twilight had the most questions about it, although Pinkie's answers likely confused her more than appeased her, if her gradually increasing frustration were any indication. Rainbow had reveled in her discussions of the battles she had been in. Fluttershy had spent the entire conversation spoiling Fluffy, not that Pinkie minded. Most of Ancient Greece was probably NSFF, anyway. Rarity had been fascinated by the discussion of Ancient Greek fashion, both that of mortals and gods. Applejack had listened politely, but plainly lacked any frame of reference to truly enjoy the story, save for how she had helped save Hades and Persephone's marriage.

After telling all her friends bits and pieces of the story, however, she found herself once more feeling a bit down. All of her friends had found her preoccupation with sex a little strange...save Twilight, who made a comment about different cultures and then glossed over the topic. Pinkie just didn't get it. All she wanted was to experience what it was like to join herself fully to another, even if only for a few moments. Gods and mortals alike had talked about the experience with great passion. She just wanted to know it for herself...but no one seemed to want to experience it with her.

As she wandered, she spotted Big Macintosh towing a cart full of hard cider away from the barn. Smiling, she bounced over to him. "Hey Big Mac!" she called out.

He turned and smiled at her. "Hey, Pinkie Pie!" he replied happily.

"Say, could I have a bottle?" she asked, pointing at the hard cider.

Big Mac blinked. "Pinkie...don'tcha think you had enough last night?"

"Demigod powers mean I don't get liver issues, brain damage, or hangovers from too much alcohol," Pinkie explained. "And yesterday and last night was a celebration. This is therapeutic."

Big Mac blinked in surprise, then unhitched himself from the wagon and popped a bottle open for her. "What have you got to be sad about, Pinkie?"

Pinkie downed half the bottle in a single swig, letting off a satisfied but disconsolate sigh as she came up for air. "Big Mac...do you think I'm attractive?"

Big Mac blinked, surprised by the question. At first, he was going to respond with his usual 'Eeyup', as he did find her attractive, but he felt more words were required. "Pinkie, I think you're a very beautiful mare."

"Then why doesn't anyone want me?" Pinkie complained, taking another swig of her cider.

Big Mac tilted his head in confusion. "Uh...what?"

"I mean, I get that moral behavior is different here than it was in Greece," Pinkie explained. "But basic instincts and desires are the same! If a mare makes it plain she's looking for a good time, shouldn't there be some stallion who wants to take her up on her offer? Or a mare? I'll take anything at this point!" She threw her hooves into the air, sending the bottle flipping upward until it landed neck first in her mouth, letting her drink the last of the bottle. "But...but no one wants me...it wouldn't be so bad if I'd had some chances back in Greece...but Zephyros ran screaming any time I flirted, and the centaurs disemboweled themselves the moment I fluttered my eyelashes at them! Am I...am I really that awful? That...scary?" She sniffled, her mane starting to deflate.

Big Macintosh winced, hating to see Pinkie like this. She was Applejack's friend, and an honorary Apple. He considered it his duty to try and cheer her up. Unable to think of anything else, he reached out a hoof and stroked her mane.

"Big Mac...you're so nice..." Pinkie mumbled. "You listen to me at my worst...I know I'm making you uncomfortable, but you still try to take care of me...you're a great guy..."

Big Mac shrugged. As far as he was concerned, he was just raised right, doing what any stallion in this situation would do.

Pinkie sniffled, then turned to him, hope in her eyes. "Big Mac...do...do you want me?"

Big Mac froze. Three thoughts ran through his mind. First, he did, in fact, find Pinkie physically attractive, and if he were the sort to pursue fantasies, she probably would have appeared in a few of them, the way she was always bouncing around the place so happy. Second, she was an honorary Apple, and as the Stallion of the Apple family, it was his job to try and cheer up any mare in the family who was getting depressed. Third, however, was what Applejack would say if she heard he was even considering something like this with one of her best friends.

Finally, however, the sight of Pinkie being torn between absolute despair and desperate hope made only one answer acceptable to him: the truth. "Uh...eeyup?"

The smile that appeared on Pinkie's face was like the first rays of the sun breaking through the clouds of a stormy day. "Do...do you wanna have sex with me?" she asked hopefully.

Big Mac swallowed convulsively. In for a bit, in for a bushel, he thought to himself. "Er...eeyup?"

Pinkie squealed happily, all traces of her sadness gone as she glomped onto him. "Big Mac, you are the best!"

Big Mac shivered, feeling her vibrant - almost vibrating - form against his. He then thought about what would happen if Applejack caught them in the act, and decided that - hopefully - an overprotective Greek father would at least be more understanding. "Your place?" he asked hopefully.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Eeyup!"

Kratos stretched as he woke up. From the position of the sun, he knew it was past noon, but he had partied until moonset, so he felt that could be excused. While Celestia had been a bit uptight, she had eventually unwound somewhat...but Luna certainly knew how to party. He never thought he'd see anyone win a drinking contest against a Titan and Pinkie Pie.

Glancing over, he saw Luna was still snoring away in the hammock the Cakes had set up for her when it became plain she would not be able to make it back to Canterlot by sunrise. The moon doing a few loop-de-loops before setting may have been an indicator of that. He saw that Pinkie Pie had already set a hangover cure on the bedside table for Luna. Apparently, despite many other godlike traits they possessed, alicorns did not have divine immunity to hangovers.

Chuckling, he decided to go check on Pinkie. If she wasn't in her room, than she would be somewhere around town spreading smiles. Still, it made sense to the God to check her room first.

Walking up to the closed door, he knocked lightly. "Pinkie? You awa-" He stopped talking as the door swung slowly open.

Pinkie lay on her side on the bed, looking completely relaxed, euphoric, and...the only way Kratos could think to describe it was 'frosted'. At the side of her bed sat a rather large stallion, looking over her with both concern and nervousness...but oddly enough, not looking too winded. Kratos actually took this as somewhat of a good sign, although the way the stallion turned to stare at him nervously was both good and bad.

"...Big Macintosh?" Kratos asked.

"Eeyup."

He pointed to Pinkie. "Desperately wanted sex?"

"Eeyup."

"Nobody wanted her at the party?"

"Eeyup."

Kratos sniffed the air. "Asked you for some cider?"

"Eeyup."

"Poured her heart out to you?"

"Eeyup."

"Tried to comfort her?"

"Eeyup."

"Things snowballed because it was Pinkie?"

"Eeyup."

"Is she fertile just now?"

"Nnnope!"

"So no grandchildren from this?"

"Nnnope!"

"Care about her?"

"Eeyup."

"Planning on courting her?"

"Err..."

"Anytime soon?"

"Nnnope!"

"You made sure she enjoyed herself?"

"Eeyup."

Kratos nodded. "That's good." He turned to go.

"Uhh...you're not upset about me...deflowering yer daughter?" Big Mac asked in concern.

Kratos turned back. "I come from a different culture. Now that they've reached adulthood, any decisions of that regard for both my daughters are theirs to make. I might caution, I might express concern, I might try to pretend it doesn't happen...but I would never try to control it." He chuckled. "Beyond that, it's Pinkie Pie. She can command the gods and the Titans with cupcakes, and she killed the Fates. What chance do I have keeping her in check when I'm just her father? What chance did you have?"

Big Mac chuckled nervously at that. "Eeyup."

"So as long as she enjoyed herself-"

"Creamy, creamy frosting..." Pinkie drooled.

Kratos laughed. "Which she obviously did...I have no objections. Besides..." He knelt down beside Big Mac, coming eye level to the stallion who was massive on the scale of his own world but not on the scale Kratos was used to. "I know how much energy she has...and you outlasted her. I wouldn't dream of trying to scare you away."

Big Mac chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head.

The Real Smile HD

"...and that's how I got my Cutie Mark!" Pinkie said happily, backflipping over the massive red fist that had been attempting to reduce her to a bloody smear on the ground. She giggled as she landed lightly in the crater left behind. "I told the Crusaders that story was a real doozy!"

"But...but that doesn't make any sense!" Tirek bellowed. "Not only did you have your Cutie Mark for the entire story, but it didn't answer my question!"

"And which question was that?" Pinkie asked, sitting on Tirek's chin, only to leap over his fist again as he promptly punched himself in the face.

"RRRGH! Why can't I drain your magic?!" he bellowed angrily. "I've drained the magic of Earth Ponies, of Pegasi, of Unicorns...I'm more than powerful enough to drain the magic of alicorns! Why can't I drain yours?"

"Because I have the favor of the Titans that shaped this world in my image, silly!" Pinkie giggled back. "I covered that in the story! Two chapters back!"

"Stop talking like that!" Tirek bellowed angrily. He brought both fists down hard on the ground, trying - and failing - to reduce the pink menace to a red smear. "Stop dodging and fight me! Who do you think you are?"

Pinkie froze, then grinned widely. "Not gonna get a better cue than that! Music!" Music began to play from nowhere.

"My name is Pinkie Pie!" she sang, leaping forward to slam her hooves into Tirek's gut, bowling him over.

"And I am here to say!" She uppercut his chin hard enough to make him flip a full 360 degrees in the air and land - staggering - back on his hooves.

"I'm gonna make you smile and I-" She bounced her head back and forth between his horns.

"-will brighten up your day!" She bounced back as Tirek staggered away, clutching the base of his horns in agony.

"It doesn't matter now!" She proceeded to deliver a flurry of punches all over his body.

"If you are black-" She delivered a double hind hoof kick to his human sexual organs.

"And blue!" She followed up with the same strike to his equine sexual organs.

"Cause cheering up my friends is just-" She seized him by his horns.

"-what Pinkie's here to do!" She yanked him into the air and slammed him face first into the ground.

"Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile!" Each time she said smile, she broke one of the bones in his arms with karate chops.

"Yes I do!" She then dislocated one arm.

"It fills my heart with sunshine all the while!" As she sang this, she drew her flame blade and dragged it down Tirek's back, setting him on fire.

"Cause all I really need's a smile, smile, smile!" She leaned in closer to Tirek as he rolled the fire out, getting closer with each 'smile'.

"From these happy friends of mine!" she grinned, making him scoot back in fear.

"I like to see you grin!" She slammed both fore hooves into his cheek bones.

"I love to see you beam!" Drawing her lightning blade, she flung a bolt of lightning energized by the song at him, which he barely dodged.

"The corners of your mouth turned up is always Pinkie's dream!" She yanked him into the air and spun him around herself several times before slamming him bodily into the ground with all the built up momentum. Tirek staggered back, dazed.

"But if you're kinda worried-" Tirek tried to run away.

"And your face has made a frown!" Pinkie appeared in front of him.

"I'll work real hard-" She grabbed hold of his arms.

"And do my best-" She lifted him into the air.

"To turn that sad frown upside down!" She proceeded to flip him like a flapjack, not unlike a green giant with a puny god.

"Cause I love to make you grin, grin, grin!" She leaned forward, drawing two blades and sticking them in his wide mouth.

"Bust it out from ear to ear let it begin!" At each 'ear', she yanked a blade up and out, cutting his face until his mouth stretched in a fake grin from one ear to the other, carving the expression into the bone of his skull as he screamed in agony.

"Just give me a joyful grin, grin, grin!" She leaped back, and at each of the last four words of the song, buried one of her blades in his torso, gripping the four chains as she balanced on her tail.

"And you fill me with your cheer!" She started draining all the stolen magic right out of him.

"It's true some days are dark and lonely," Pinkie sang, yanking her blades one by one from Tirek's shrunken and wizened chest as her body vibrated with the stolen magic.

"And maybe you feel sad," she continued, glancing around at the damage to landscape.

"But Pinkie will be here-" She channeled all the magic into a massive pink sphere that she lobbed upwards.

"-to show you that it isn't that bad!" She uppercut the sphere, causing it to shatter explosively as all the gathered magic returned to its original sources, in a display visually reminiscent of another pink being obliterating an entire race in one attack, though less death-y.

"There's one thing that makes me happy," she sang as she watched the display. "It makes my whole life worthwhile! And that's when I talk to my friends and I get them to smile!" She turned with a huge grin to where four of her pony friends and one friendly Draconequus were regaining their magic.

"I really am so happy!" Pinkie sang, her four blades still humming with magic.

"Your smiles fill me with glee!" She embedded the fire, lightning, and water blades into the ground in a triangle around her.

"I give a smile, I get a smile, and that's so special to me!" As she sang, the soul blade hovered above her, magic gathering around her in a pyramid.

"...mercy..." Tirek begged.

Pinkie's grin widened wickedly. "Cause I love to see you beam, beam, beam," she sang, the lines of magic between the blades shimmering in their four colors as she hovered.

Tirek whimpered.

"Tell me what more can I say?" Pinkie sang as the magic strengthened and reality warped around her.

"It makes me happy when you beam, beam, beam...yes it always makes my day!" A shaft of sunlight shot down from the sky, super-energizing the gathered magic.

"Come on everypony smile, smile smile!" The soul blade focused the energy and shot some behind her, shaping a gateway.

"FIll my heart up with sunshine, sunshine!" The gate was marked with a sun and moon icon.

"Come on everybody, smile, smile, smile!" A second gate was shaped.

"Fill my heart up with joy!" As she flung her arms wide, both gates swung open.

Behind the sun and moon marked gate, the risen body of every pony to ever fall in service the Equestrian throne stood in formation, their weapons drawn. Behind the unmarked gate was the decaying form of every Spartan to ever fall in battle. Fleshless grins marked every face, and they marched on Tirek, a singular chant echoing from bare bone marking the cadence of their skeletal gate.

Come on everypony/body, smile smile smile
Fill her heart up with sunshine, sunshine!
Come on everybody/pony smile smile smile
Fill her heart up with joy!

On the last word of the first choral chant, the warriors closest to Tirek raised their weapons, then brought them down on the screaming villain.

"Yes the perfect gift for me!" Pinkie sang over the sound of screams and the chants of her undead army. "It's a smile wide as a mile!" She spun, gathering those soldiers not butchering Tirek into a circle around her, skeletal human locked elbow in knee with skeletal pony as they swayed and chanted. "To make me happy as can be!"

"Smile, smile, smile, smile, smile!" she sang as the circle parted for her.

"Come on and smile!" she sang as her troops parted before the destroyed body of Tirek.

She lifted up his skull. "Come on and smile!" she proclaimed happily as the music ended, staring at the grin etched onto the very bone.

You have acquired Tirek's Skull!
This is one of the requirements to unlock the New Game+ scenario, "My Little Pwny".

Pinkie giggled as she stuffed the skull into her mane.

Nearby, Discord approached Kratos. "So...did I do it right?"

Kratos nodded. "I think you did."

"Wait, what now?" Rainbow demanded. "You told Discord to betray us?"

"Oh, I would never actually betray you!" Discord countered. "I value my friendships too much for that! Besides, what could Tirek possibly offer me that's better than what dear, sweet Fluttershy has given me?" He then held one of the ponies close.

"I'm Rarity," Rarity scolded.

"Right!" Discord replied, setting the unicorn down and picking up the yellow pegasus instead. "Besides, that's Kratos. God of War, Ghost of Sparta, Godslayer...I'd never risk his wrath by crossing Pinkie. I'm crazy, not suicidal!"

"Then what was all this about?" Spike demanded.

"Oh, Kratos wanted me to convince Tirek that I switched to his side so he'd gather enough magic to be a real challenge for Pinkie Pie going all out," Discord explained.

"Why?" Twilight demanded, having come in for landing - still bursting with the magic of four alicorns - once she saw the magic level die down enough for it to be safe to land.

Kratos smiled as he walked up to his equine daughter. "Happy Birthday Pinkie," he said softly, rubbing her mane.

Pinkie Pie squealed happily. "Best! Birthday present! Ever!" Her tail wagged happily like a puppy's.

As Applejack took in the entire scene - other worldly god, spirit of chaos, undead army, broken villain, and massive collateral damage - she expressed everyone's thoughts at this moment. "Say wut?"

[Roll Credits]

Promises

Kratos stared down at the fallen body of Orkos, the Oath Keeper, son of Ares and the Fury Queen, his friend. At Orkos' request, he had granted the incapable warrior the honorable death he so desperately wanted. Kratos was of the opinion that the ancient yet young man had proven himself a warrior at heart, and had earned it.

With the death of Orkos, Kratos blood oath to Ares was broken, and the God of War lost all power to control him. But at the same time, the painful memories of all he had done - the murders of his wife and daughter, the dreadful slaughter he had done, all that had come of his dreadful ambition - rushed back into his mind. As he sank to his knees, he struggled to deal with the pain of his own actions, the weight of his grief.

As he kneeled there, shaking in pain, he noticed something odd. The life blood that flowed from Orkos' corpse did not follow the slope of the hill upon which his body lay. It flowed off the path towards the grass, seeming to shape an arrow. Kratos managed to shoulder his grief as he stood, following the path of blood. It seemed that there was something Orkos wanted him to see.

When he reached the end of the path of blood, he found a large crystal resembling those representing the blood oaths that Orkos had once kept as the Oath Keeper, only much larger. Stuck to the front of the crystal, near a fracture that led into it, was a scrap of parchment, with what Kratos recognized as a message inscribed by the Scribe of Hecatonceris, the madman imprisoned by the Furies who had kept such dutiful records to stave off his own madness.

The child within made no oath to gods, and yet found her way to the Furies' prison. As her oath was not one the Furies concerned themselves with, they left her untouched, with no torture save that which her own mind crafted for her.

Kratos' eyes widened. "A child?" he asked, shocked. "What child could be imprisoned as an oath breaker?" Moving to the fracture in the crystal, he saw it was too narrow for him to squeeze through. Gripping it with both hands, he struggled to force it open.

As the fissure widened, a voice called from within. "No! You mustn't! I cannot be freed!"

Kratos paused. That voice had been the voice of a child, a little girl. After his visions of the death of his own daughter, Calliope, which he had caused, that voice staggered him. After a moment, he managed to get himself under control. "It is alright," he said into the crevice. "What could you have done to deserve this?" He pushed the crack open wider, so he could see inside.

The interior of the crystal chamber was shadowed. All he could make out clearly was a head of crimson hair on a head turned away from him. "I broke my promise..." the little girl whimpered. "I broke my promise, and now they're all gone. It's...it's all my fault...all because I broke my promise...I have to be punished..."

Kratos closed his eyes in pain. That she should face such trauma, and blame herself...no one should force a little girl through that. He steeled himself to continue to speak to her. "So you will remain in here forever?" he asked. "Will you let your mistake destroy you?" In his urgency to help the trapped child, he unwittingly made himself realize some things about his own problems.

The head turned towards him, and pure blue eyes stared up at him through the crack, which fought his efforts to force it open wider. "But...what else can I do? I..."

Kratos shook his head. "You made a mistake," he said. "You broke a promise, and something bad happened. Do you plan to wallow in that for the rest of your life?"

The blue eyes tilted in thought. "What should I do?" she asked.

"You can go out and undo the wrong you have done!" Kratos said firmly. "I have wrought great wrongs from my own ambitions. The pain of those mistakes and their consequences plague my mind and heart. But I will not be beaten by them! I am Spartan! I am a warrior! What of you? Are you a warrior, or a worrier?"

The voice inside the crystal giggled. "Can't I be both? A warworrier? Or a worwarrior? Worwarworwarworwarworwar-" She broke off in another fit of giggles, her crimson hair seeming to lighten, becoming both paler and fuller. "That's funny to say."

Kratos didn't really see the humor, but he felt the need to encourage the child. "Yes, it is amusing. Not much amusement inside your prison here, is there?"

The eyes lowered. "No...but do I deserve amusement?"

Kratos struggled to push the crack open wider, but it fought him all the stronger as the weight of the child's despair seemed to increase. Inspiration struck him. "You failed to save some...wallowing will not make up for it! Work to save others instead, so that when you stand before Hades the weight of your mistakes is balanced by the weight of your deeds."

The eyes looked up at him. "Do...do you really think that will work?"

"I have to believe it," he replied, feeling the crystal start to weaken. He pushed it open a bit wider, enough to see the child smiling up at him.

"I...I don't know if I can alone, though," she whispered softly.

Kratos felt his heart sink as he heard the child's pain, so strongly echoing his own loss. "I will help you," he found himself saying.

The eyes blinked at him. "Promise?"

Kratos paused. The promise he'd made to Ares had gotten him into so much trouble, had brought about the deaths of those he cared for most...but Orkos guided him here with his death. He would not have guided him to more trouble. "I promise."

"A Pinkie Promise?" the child asked.

Kratos blinked, then chuckled. "I do not know this 'Pinkie Promise'. Will you teach me?"

The head inside the crystal nodded eagerly, her hair now bouncing with her motions as the crystal started to crumble around her. "It goes 'cross my heart'," she said, drawing an X over her heart. "Hope to fly," she continued, making flying motions.

Kratos released the crack in the crystal so his hands were free. "Cross my heart," he said, doing the motions, "hope to fly."

"Stick a cupcake in my eye!" the voice in the crystal finished, covering one eye.

"Stick a...cupcake...in my eye," Kratos echoed, covering one eye. "...what is a cupcake?"

Something bright and colorful with the consistency of cake was flung from the crystal to land in his hand. "It's dessert!" the little girl affirmed. "It's a really delicious sweet treat."

Smiling, Kratos took a bite of the pastry. The sweet taste assaulted his mouth, more delicious than anything he had ever tried. "Is this ambrosia?" he asked, thinking it was the food of the gods.

The child giggled as the crystal prison lost its luster. "No, silly. It's just a cupcake."

Kratos took another bite. "Too delicious to put in my eye," he muttered.

Another giggle echoed from inside the crystal before it shattered. A tiny pink equine with a poofy pink mane and tail and bright blue eyes looked up at Kratos, grinning from ear to ear. "Glad you like it!"

Kratos stared at the child - the filly - now that she was revealed. "You're...a pony?"

"And you're a human!" she replied happily. She bounced around him, looking him all over. "I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"

He stared down at her, somewhat confused. Despite many encounters with the various non-mortal creatures of Greece and the surrounding areas, a talking tiny pony was a little outside his experience. "Kratos," he said slowly.

"Kratos?" she asked. "That's a funny sounding name!"

He frowned. "'Pinkie Pie' sounds rather unusual to me."

"Fair enough!" she said happily, beaming from ear to ear. Raising a hoof, she scratched her chin. "Well, I've decided!" she said firmly.

"Decided?" he asked, somewhat nervously.

"You said I should work to save people," she pointed out. "I decided I'm going to start with you!"

Kratos blinked. "What can you save me from?" he asked.

Leaping up, she clung to one of his shoulders while poking his mouth with her other fore hoof. "Whatever's left you with such a firm frown on your face! I'm going to make you smile again!"

Krato shook his head. "I doubt if you'll be able to. There is too much pain in me..."

"Then I'll just have to balance that pain with as much joy as I can until you can smile again, right?" she asked, grinning widely as she looked him straight in the eyes.

Kratos looked at her for a while, then lowered his gaze with a sigh. "I have a lot to make up for, Pinkie Pie. The path I walk will be a dangerous one."

"Then I'll walk it with you," she promised. "And make you smile again one day." She dropped to the ground. "Cross my heart," she said, making the motions, "hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Actually flattening a cupcake against her eye on the last line, she then licked her face clean with an absurdly long tongue.

Kratos chuckled ruefully. "Alright. Keep up if you can," he said softly.

Pinkie Pie bounced around him happily. "I will!" she said eagerly.

He tilted his head. "How old are you, Pinkie?"

Pinkie took a deep breath and stuck her hoof in her mouth. As she blew on that forehoof, four finger-like protrusions slowly popped out of her other forehoof. "This many!" she said, wiggling the finger-like protrusions before they were reabsorbed into her hoof.

Kratos nodded. "Well, try not to fall too far behind," he said, turning to walk down the path, away from the place he once called home.

Pinkie Pie smiled widely as she bounced along after him. "It'll be nice to have a Daddy again!" she proclaimed happily.

Kratos staggered a bit, but kept walking. He had a lot to make up for. And maybe, over time, having Pinkie along would make it all...bearable.

Bound in Chains

Kratos stared out from the battlements of Attica at the approaching Persian army, sailing inexorably towards the city the Gods had charged him to defend. Seeing their position, he shifted his glance to the force under his command. The defending soldiers did not have Spartan training, and probably weren't to be relied on for very much. The only one with any training in that regard was Pinkie Pie. His eyes trailed to the pink pony as his thoughts turned to her.

She had started a modified form of Spartan Training a few years back, and had progressed rapidly. Despite the training, though, there was no visible sign she had undergone any training...unless one looked very closely. She bounced around happily just as she had before, but a close inspection revealed that her muscles bulged like cord with every bounce, hard as stone. She carried no visible weapons or armor, as she tended to pull whatever she needed in a given situation out of her mane just before striking with it, and armor only slowed her down. She had tried to explain her ability to pull things out of her mane the first time he saw her do it, until she saw he required no explanation. With all the other magical creatures and their dangerous - and often frightening - abilities, a talking pink pony with a Mane of Holding wasn't even worth batting an eye about...especially when she provided free cupcakes.

Pinkie Pie had been the only relief he'd had these many years from the nightmares of his past sins. They still haunted him, but each time they drove him towards dark depression, Pinkie would be there. She'd show her skill in what she'd been trained, or do something silly, or say something obscure yet profound...and he'd find hope. He knew he had failed his countrymen, his wife, his daughter Calliope...he refused to fail Pinkie. Dedicating himself to that gave him the strength to fight with his all against the darkness that roiled inside him. ...he never did figure out why she - and he - glowed blue with each surge of hope.

Hearing the screams of his soldiers, he snapped back to the moment. A giant fireball - launched from one of the Persian ships - was coming straight towards their position. He started to leap back, but froze as he saw Pinkie leap towards the fireball. "Pinkie!" he yelled in concern and fear.

As she flew through the air, Pinkie reached into her mane and drew forth what he could only describe as a curiously configured ax, though like no such weapon he'd ever seen. She then twirled it over her head, calling forth a most unusual battle cry.

"Furi Kuli Kuri Kala!"

With that shout, she swung the ax over her shoulder, gripping it with both forehooves, and then swung it forward to strike the fireball with the flat of her ax. There was a loud thock sound, and the fireball promptly reversed its parabolic trajectory to fly back to the ship that had launched it, causing the ship to explode.

As Pinkie Pie landed lightly on the battlements, Kratos - and the soldiers - stared at her in confusion and awe. Finally, one of the soldiers voiced an inquiry. "What...?"

"Don't ask," Pinkie said quickly, stuffing the ax back into her mane. "Not even Furi Kuri knows what Furi Kuri is."

Kratos, having long decided that a lot of things about Pinkie Pie didn't warrant questioning, decided to instead focus on the approach of the Persian soldiers. "Form ranks!" he bellowed, putting a bit of steel into the soldiers' backbones.

He continued to guide the men under his command in the defense of the position, working with them and Pinkie to repel all assault. When the enemy soldiers ceased approaching, he left the squad there to guard the position as he began to move towards the assault point of the main force.

Pinkie bounced along beside him. "Yay!" she said happily. "The adventure's starting! This is going to be so much fun!"

Kratos couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's antics, although he did wince a little when she leapt from the battlements to the ground below, crushing a Persian soldier beneath her. He knew this to be yet another demonstration of her ability to defy natural law at a whim, as just the day before the siege began she had made the same leap into his arms and landed as light as a feather.

Their merriment was interrupted as they came under attack by a large Cyclops...which promptly got eaten by a larger monstrosity. As Kratos prepared for battle, he noticed Pinkie making mystical seeming motions. "Pinkie, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to cast 'Summon Bigger Fish'!" she called back. "There's always the bigger fish to eat this one!"

"...it's not a fish," Kratos pointed out.

Pinkie blinked for a bit. "So does that mean we eat it?"

"We kill it first."

Grinning eagerly, Pinkie pulled out a pair of knives. The two warriors fought against the monstrosity, though when it started spitting fireballs, Pinkie switched her knives out for the strange ax, smacking the fireballs back at the creature. After a time, Kratos seized an opportunity to smash the creature over the muzzle with the weapon discarded by the consumed Cyclops, gouging out its left eye and causing it to flee.

"Yay!" Pinkie cried happily as she raced after it. "Platforming!"

Kratos only shook his head, racing after her. She was right that the creature, whatever it may be, was the priority for the two of them when it came to defending the city. Humans could fight humans. It took Spartans to kill monsters.

The two of them made their way through the city in pursuit of the beast. They encountered numerous Persian soldiers and archers on the way, but their training wasn't their only advantage against their foes. Many frequently spent as much as five seconds staring slackjawed at Pinkie Pie as she approached, having never seen anything like her before. That time tended to prove fatal, as she or Kratos used that time to approach and slay them. Pinkie's preferred method of killing her human opponents was effective, if unsettling to Kratos. Given their human opponents were exclusively male, her perfected tactic was to drive one knife into their crotch, and then slit their throats when they bent over in agony. The most disconcerting thing about it - to their opponents at least - was the fact that she never stopped grinning and giggling as she did so. What was confusing to Kratos was when she babbled about getting 'kill bonuses'.

However, Kratos had to admit having the both of them working together simplified the manipulation of the various devices needed to open the paths forward. During those 'puzzle segments' as Pinkie called them, one of them would manipulate the device while the other killed the enemy troops that invariably attempted to swarm them under while their hands were tied. And Pinkie was especially helpful when a switch or crank had to be held to keep a door open. The way she was able to zip over to him almost unnoticeably once he was through the door sometimes made Kratos think she had Orkos' ability to be in two places at once.

Before long, they encountered a much larger Persian taunting several civilians on the other side of a locked gate. Pinkie giggled. "Ooh...cutscene!"

Rolling his eyes, Kratos strode forward. "What evil have you wrought on this city, Persian?" he demanded.

The Persian turned. "Evil?" he demanded. "It is not evil that I bring, Spartan. I bring the might of Persia, and the sacrament of purification."

"I'm pretty sure setting things on fire for fun counts as evil," Pinkie said, tossing something white and fluffy out of a red and white container into her mouth.

"As we speak," the Persian continued, ignoring Pinkie for the moment, "my basilisk cleanses this land-"

"Oh, so that's what it's called!" Pinkie proclaimed with a broad smile.

"I'm trying to make a speech here!" the Persian complained.

"And I'm trying to be a distraction," Pinkie countered. "Guess who's succeeding?"

"Wait, what?" The Persian spun around, only to find the chains of Kratos blades wrapped around his throat and those of his men.

"I bring a message from Olympus!" Kratos proclaimed. "You and your sacrament are unwelcome here! Die!" With that, the chains glowed red hot as he sheared through all three throats.

As the large Persian fell, a firey spirit flowed from his corpse and into Kratos. He felt the power of the Efreet bind to his will.

Pinkie bounced happily over to him. "So, now we go kill that basilisk thingy, right?"

Kratos nodded. "Indeed," he said, flexing his arm and feeling the Efreet flex within him.

Extra Scene

Author's Note

This scene was supposed to go in the previous chapter, as another aside scene like the one with Ivy from Soul Caliber. However, I forgot it. I could have added it in, but then some people would have missed it.

This one would go in shortly after Kratos beheads the basilisk.

Extra Scene

The blonde SOLDIER breathed deeply as he stared at the body of his fallen foe. It hadn't been an easy fight. He hadn't expected it to be, but then he hadn't expected his buster sword to go missing just before he unleashed the Omnislash upon him. However, he had found a good substitute in its place.

His silver haired opponent had been amused...right up until he took the siege ladder upside the head. The blonde SOLDIER had then proceeded to vent all his pent up frustrations, rage, guilt, and sorrow upon his foe, continuing long after his opponent had dropped his own oversized sword. As he did so, the siege ladder broke up into smaller, more manageable pieces, much like his fallen opponent.

At the end, the last broken piece of wood fell from his hand, and he stared down at the notecard that had appeared with the siege ladder. It promised to return his buster sword...but he found he didn't need it anymore. He had let it all go, and with a clear head and heart, he was ready to face his future. Had it ended with the force of the Omnislash, there would have been unresolved feelings, loose ends in his heart. But now...now he felt cleansed, and he could let go of the darkness in his heart, and his old opponent.

He wondered if Golden Saucer was still standing...and if Tifa wanted to take a trip there.

Extra Scene 2

Author's Note

Again, this one was supposed to go in the last chapter - this time at the tail end - but I forgot it. Although to be honest, it does fit well as a capping chapter.

Enjoy.

Extra Scene 2

The young hero wiped his brow as he smiled up at his companion. "We've done it," he said in relief. "We've saved the kingdom."

"Indeed we have," his companion said from within the armor she was possessing.

"We've defeated the demon that stole your body," he said, "and recovered your body."

"Victory!" his companion replied happily, thrusting the massive sword this floating spirit armor had come with, clashing it against the matching massive shield.

"So now you can depossess that armor and go back into your own body," he finished hopefully.

His companion was quite for a time. "Leave this armor?"

"Yes."

"...the one that I was able to take with me out of dungeons?"

"Yes."

"The one that, as far as the forces arrayed against us could tell, is nigh indestructible?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"The one that gleams gold and reflects force and devastated everything we came up against?"

"That's the one."

"The one that floats, can explore any terrain, and strikes fear into the hearts of ally and enemy alike?"

"What other would I be talking about?"

"The one I'm currently possessing?"

"Yeah..."

His companion was silent for a time. "...do I have to?"

The young train conductor face palmed. "Zelda..."