Big Mac in Tosh

by dat_flank

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Big Macintosh, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Comedy, Other
Length: 1035

Daniel Tosh falls into Equestria naked, and spreads his cheeks for Big Mac.

Daniel Tosh falls into Equestria naked, and spreads his cheeks for Big Mac. This is a story about love, passion, tragedy, and should be read as seriously as possible. I hope you all hate me for this.

Published 2012-05-09 11:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-09 11:54:02 UTC

High Fashion

High Fashion

Daniel was falling. The last thing he remembers doing was three male, Asian, midget prostitutes. Ching-Cho must have slipped something in my drink when I wasn't looking, Daniel thought as he fell from the cartoon blue sky. As Daniel fell, he reflected upon his life, his goals, and his accomplishments. He accepted that he would soon be dead once he hit the ground. I wonder what color Jesus will be? Daniel chuckled. Why am I trying to kid myself. I wonder if I can buy a condo in Hell? Daniel sensed that he was approaching the ground. He took a deep breathe in, exhaled, then attempted to sniff any cocaine that was left in between his fingernails.

*PLOP*

Daniel had stopped falling, but didn't feel any different. He inspected his situation to find that he had conveniently landed on a large haystack. "That was a close one," Daniel said as he hopped off of the hay, unfazed by the near death experience. I've been closer to death before. I watched that Hot Problems video. Standing on the dirt floor that surrounded him, Daniel noticed that he was entirely naked. His bleach blonde bush waved freely in the wind like a confederate flag in Alabama. Glancing around himself, Daniel found a barn, a bunch of apple trees and... a bulky, sweaty pony staring right at him from about eight feet away.

"Holy shit!" The "comedian" shouted in surprise. "If me uncle pops out fro somewhere, then this'll be my ninth birthday all over again." Daniel laughed as the pony continued to stare blankly at him. Daniel lifted up his half-way flaccid penis and pointed it at the pony. "Hey Horsey, do you want a carrot?"

"Eeyup!" The large colt said in a deep tone.

"Fuck, you can talk!?" Before he could even get an answer, the stallion was suckling on Daniel's shaft, which was now rock hard. Big Macintosh gargled Daniel's balls in his mouth, licking off all the salty residue that was there. Daniel couldn't help but grab the colt's head and move it back and forth.

Now while Daniel very much enjoyed the pleasure that the stallion was giving him, he didn't want to be a selfish asshole, so he retracted his stick from the pony's mouth. Daniel pivoted around and bent over, having his brown eye stare directly at the red stallion.

The colt caught on quickly to what the human wanted. The pony mounted Daniel with his front hooves on his back and his gargantuan meat log pointing almost magnetically at Daniel's sweet, sweet hole. Daniel peered behind him to view the incoming torpedo, which, to his utmost happiness, was a tree trunk.

"Looks like you're a pretty big fellow, ain't ya?" Daniel asked gingerly.

"Eeyup," the stallion replied. "Big Macintosh to be exact."

"Looks like I found this week's Dick of the Week."

Daniel groped his butt cheeks and spread them wide open, welcoming the visitor that waited outside. Daniel's cavern emitted a alluring heat that made the Big Mac as hard as Discord, and a stank that made Big Mac sweat with anticipation.

Unable to wait any longer, Big Macintosh slowly moved his rod closer to Daniel's anus. Upon touching, Big Mac's pole leaked out some pre-cum that just lubed up Daniel's hot spot all the more. With a rough thrust, Big Mac jammed his bar into Daniel's tight squeeze.

~~~~~

"Hey everybody, Daniel here! I'm sorry that I'm interrupting the clopping I know all of you were just doing right now, but I've got to do something. Right now I'm on my hands and knees taking it in the butt from a pony. I'm sure you all know what this means! Let's put twenty second on the clock and see how many jokes I can make... Hey look, doggy style in a pony show. The last time somebody took it that hard from a horse was when Sarah Jessica Parker found a strap on. I used to get these same pony rides as a kid! Which one will God be more mad about: The bestiality or the fact that Big Mac's not circumcised? If Big Mac's just a red pony, I would hate to see the size of a black one! *BEEP BEEP* Well that's all the time. I'll let you get back to your clopping.

~~~~~

Daniel grunted as he took in the massive club. Although Big Mac's girth exceeded most of those in the human world, Daniel endured the delectable pain. Big Mac drove his stalk deep into the comedian, his tip spreading out Daniel's untapped tissue as it reached that far.

Reveling in the monster bone that Daniel's walls had the indulgence to tightly caress, Daniel gave a quick thumbs up, signaling to Big Mac that he was ready for more. As requested, Big Mac began a series of lunges, jabs, prods, and humps.

Daniel swiftly felt the heat in Big Mac's member intensify. Preparing for a flash flood Daniel clenched his cheeks together, making sure he would capture all of the pony's glorious juices. Big Mac's pace had now reached its peek, and Daniel's ass was cherry red from all the times the colt's thighs had rammed into them. Big Mac let out a large whinny as his climax was just seconds away.

"Here comes this week's breakdown!" Daniel cried as Big Mac's feces covered staff immersed itself as far as it could into his chamber.

In half a second, the stallion blasted Daniel's depths with his steamy, viscous syrup.

Daniel's didn't move and never wanted to let Big Mac's branch out of his chasm, but when Daniel turned around to face his lover, Daniel found himself back in his dressing room at Comedy Central Studios.

The room's door opened as an intern poked his head in. "Five minutes 'till the show Mr..." The nineteen year old intern just stared at the comedian who was naked in the doggy position on the floor. "Uh... Five minutes, sir." The intern slammed the door shut as he ran off.

A single tear cascaded down Daniel's cheek as the lonely comedian only had one thought in mind. Big Macintosh... You will get a redemption someday.