Ponies And A Half

Shampoo raises her pike and drives it down upon Ranma choosing to ignore the brightly colored ponies on the sidelines watching. Ranma dodges out of the way.

"WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?" as she fights back, red-pig tail flying all over the place.

"You dishonor Shampoo!?" and they start jumping onto rooftops taking the fight away from the Tendos. Surprisingly the neighbors just yell at the two to keep it down.

Twilight looks out the tear in the door." That was strange."

Kasumi clears the table saying," Yes, it was."

Only Pinkie Pie is happy about it." THATS SO COOL!"

Rainbow Dash asks," Shouldn't we do something about that?"

A splash of water answers the question.

"WHAT YOU WANT STUPID PANDA!?"

The stupid panda in question signs,"Save him!"

"I WOULD HAVE!" Kicking him. Again. In the spine.

Has anyone ever wondered how the world would be a better place if we had the healing powers of anime characters?

Zhang crawls to the front door and says," Splash her with cold water."

Pinkie Pie splashes Rainbow Dash again,"Sorry Dashie!"

Zhang moans," Not her. The Chinese Girl."

Rainbow Dash is about to jump with the bucket of cold water before Zhang stops her again.

"WHAT!?"

"Nothing... unless you want people to arrest a nudist girl."

"oh."

Ranma and Shampoo exchange blows as they jump from roof to roof.

"Why do you want to kill me?"

"You dishonor Shampoo." Throwing the pike that Ranma barely dodges.

"After you, Shampoo go kill village traitor."

Using a tree as a springboard she knocks Ranma into a wall stunning her.

Shampoo grabs her pike again and is about to kill Ranma when...

An old man threatens to sue her. Shampoo gives him a cutesie pose and he decides to leave it be.

Shampoo raises the pike when...

a splash of water hits her changing her into a cat.

Rainbow Dash fully clothed sighs in relief.

Zhang finally catches up and says," Whew... it worked! Lets bring them back."

Picking up Ranma while Rainbow Dash picks up Shampoo.

Silver says conversationally,"So you fell into the Pool of Drowned Cat?"

Hiss.

"ok... Ok... I'm SORRY! What was I supposed to do? Tranquilize you!? You were going to kill me and my new friends! Sheesh."

Unbeknownst to them, an elderly elder sits in a tree. It follows them silently.

Fluttershy is fanning Ranma and is attempting to wake him up. Kasumi is weeping the tatami away. Hikaru is upstairs trying to figure out the cursed water. Rarity is helping with the replacement of new tatami.

Rarity apologizes,"I'm so sorry. The crazy Amazons tend to break everything."

Kasumi laughs," Don't worry. The other dojos have it worse."

Rarity is shocked and before she can say anything Applejack swears," What in TarNATION!? OW! Stop that!"

Applejack still in pony form drags in a white cat. Ran is staying away having her hands bandaged by Zhang. Zhang says," I swear! Amazon Women WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!" He shrieks the last part, because its awfully hard not to shriek when a cat attacks you with the sentience of a human being and knows where to hurt you.

Applejack jumps into the ensuing fight,"Oh no you don't!" A resulting brawl with the trio's heads, feet, and arms flail out of a dust cloud. When it ends Apple jack holds the cat by the scruff of its neck standing triumphantly on... on Zhang.

Applejack jumps off muttering a muffled sorry. Zhang rolls over and reaches into his interdimensional space pocket for a roll of gauze.

The cat hisses angrily when Ranma wakes up. Ranma takes on look at the cat and faints again. Zhang speaks, his face wrapped up like a mummy," Shampoo, can you speak calmly?"

A scratch.

Zhang grows angry and reaches into the IDS Pocket also known as hammerspace and pulls out a bomb," WELL HOW ABOUT NOW!?"

Another scratch.

"You asked for it!" Before anyone can stop him, he detonates it.

Applejack bucks him. "Why would you do that!?"

"Don't bother me I'm filming." Zhang is indeed filming.

"Why!?"

"So I can blackmail her." Zhang points at the dust. Shampoo is playing with a... ball of yarn!

Applejack shouts," What the-"

"I know! Genius! I made a bomb full of catnip that would explode into a ball of yarn with a mouse at the end and a squeaky sound! No cat on Earth can resist it! I know! I tested it out on a tiger!"

Rainbow Dash asks," Really?"

"Yup. Now don't bother me, I've got to pour hot water on her as I film her."

Zhang proceeds to pour hot water on her and says," Now behold! The innocent cat playing is actually a super-hot Amazon-" Blood gushes out of his nose.

"Shit! I forgot that when they change back. No clothes. Still I got to film this! For the World! For the Otakus! For -..." Zhang stares at his crushed hand, up at Rarity, and down again.

"... May I ask what that was for again?"

"For attempting to defile a ladies honor."

"Oh come on! Amazons don't care about that kind of honor!" Zhang uses his other hand to singlehandedly: Grab another camera and a laptop, set up both, livestream the whole thing, begin to film, bandage his other hand, and then get it crushed again.

He looks to the left and sees a pruny, old chinese lady," ARGH! A TROLL!"

A whack.

"Sorry, a old fairy?"

Another whack.

"Fine. Fine. Can't handle jokes? Elder Cologne?"

"Yes. Now you have many secrets to tell me! Also I'll never forgive you fro attempting to embarrass my granddaughter. Prepare to die after I know your secrets."

"3 things wrong with that statement: Its called blackmail. I have many secrets even though I was in ice for most of the time I was here. And finally, I found your granddaughter a husband."

Genma comes in and kicks Zhang in the head and then pouring the miso soup he was eating on him. Zhang turns into a chibi dragon.

Cologne is speechless.

"I suppose that's another secret you found out!"

Previously Destroyed Tatami Mat Room

Silver Storm sits soiled in the front of the room. Usually, it would be the head of families, but since Genma and Soun are idiots, he is the impromptu head. He is now no longer chibi. He hates that part of the curse. Discord is such a jerk. Every time a liquid more than 50 % non-water is used on him, he goes into a chibi form for half an hour.

Cologne pokes him in the face."You lived among us for fifteen years and you never told us you were a dragon?"

"Your actions right now are the reason why I never told you."

"You will still die."

"I still have many secrets. Besides I did get you to promise that if I found a man who could beat Shampoo all would be forgiven!" He smiles.

"I believe that you are lying, young one!"

"I'm a thousand years old."

"oh..."

"Should we call them in?"

"Yes."

"OK! Come in!"

The Tendo family file in with Soun taking his place next to Silver Genma comes in with Ranma(girl) and sits next to Soun. The Mane Six(Human) come in and Hikaru takes place to the other side of Silver. Ryoga comes in and sits next to Chiyo.

Shampoo comes in and sits across of Ranma and glares pointedly at her.

Cologne speaks," The Amazon tribe has been insulted by(points to the Mane Six and Ranma and Ryoga) and the head of family Silver Storm."

A snicker.

"Yes?"

"Nothing."

"Shampoo, my beloved granddaughter had her prize for fighting taken by her!" Points the staff of power at Ranma.

Snicker.

"Whar is it?" Death Glare.

"Nothing... Uh... FLASHBACK TIME!"

Flashback

After a strange rainstorm, the guide led the Saotomes, the ponies, and Ryoga to the nearby village of Joketsuzoku.

"This is village of Chinese Amazons," said the guide.

"What's an Amazon?" asked Pinkie. She and the others have assumed their cursed human forms due to the rain.

"Female warriors. Very strong, very proud people."

When they entered the village, Rarity asked if there were any places to buy some fabric. The guide had given them some money, feeling sorry for the ponies. Fluttershy and piggy Ryoga joined her, the former having offered the latter to join them on their journey, considering his sense of direction was possibly the worst in the entire multi-verse.

The others went to watch something else… a tournament between the village's best warriors.

"We very lucky to see this," said the guide. A silver haired boy comes selling dumplings. They all buy some. Hikaru asks the boy if there is any books on the laws of this village and he gives her one. They get into small talk as the boy halps Hikaru translate.

They watched as two woman fought on a log, one of them being Shampoo as they realized later. She easily defeated her opponent—a woman was twice her size—by knocking her off the log.

"Really?" asked Ranma-Chan as she and Panda Genma stuffed their faces with food.

"Yes, fascinating," commented Twilight, engaged heavily in the rulebook.

"Um… guys," said Rainbow Dash.

"What?" asked Ranma-Chan. Rainbow then pointed to a sign that read "Prize for Tournament" on the dinner table.

As it turned out, the winner was Shampoo. And she was NOT happy with the "girl" and the "panda" eating her prize.

"(Why are you eating my food?!)" she yelled in her native tongue. "(It's clearly labeled that it is the prize for the winner of the tournament, so get away from my meal!)"

"Is it just me or does her voice somehow reminds you of Spike's?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"I don't know. It sounds more like the Mayor's," replied Applejack.

Meanwhile, the guide translated what Shampoo said to Ranma.

"So if I beat you, I get the food?" asked Ranma-Chan, "Sounds good to me."

The silver haired boy hears this and begins to frantically shake his head no. He is ignored.

As the two began their fight, everyone else watched, save for Twilight, who was still engaged in her book.

"Go Ranma! You can do it!" cheered Pinkie Pie as she ate popcorn.

"Oh no…" whispered Twilight. She then continued to read about the law, and then gave a sigh of relief.

"What is it?" asked Rainbow Dash as she turned to Twilight. The silver haired boy is now praying to the Gods.

At that moment, Ranma-Chan defeated Shampoo by knocking her off the log, who got up afterwards in shock, unable to believe that she was beaten by an outsider. As Ranma-Chan was being declared the winner, Shampoo glared and approached her. Just before she could attempt anything, the silver haired bo jumps in between the two.

Shampoo walks over shoves the boy aside and kisses Ranma. She then grabs a pike.

The tour guide moans," That Kiss of Death! When female not from tribe beat Amazon women, Amazon women chase female across the world and kill them!"

Ranma dodges the pike smashes and shouts," What's going on!?"

"Your near death! The silver haired boy reaches into the IDS pocket and throws a smoke bomb. When it dissipates the foreigners are missing.

Shampoo slams the pike down and goes to Elder Cologne.

"Shampoo angry!" Shampoo makes to slam a pike down, but Hikaru slows it down. Another glare.

"Not only that, but when Shampoo was preparing for her journey-"

Silver mutters," Or assassination."

Quick Death Glare.

"We found two friends of the girl in question."

"Another flashback time."

Flashback

Ran mutters," Stupid Ryoga. Getting me lost in the Amazon." Stomach growls." Stupid panda. Stupid Zhang. Stupid Twilight." She keeps on muttering as she looks for civilization. Applejack trudges alongside her. She mutters too.

Suddenly, a trap is sprung! Ran hangs upside down and a pair of Amazons come out." We catch you!"

Ran mutters," Stupid Amazons.

Ran and Alexandria hang over a large bonfire. "Hot! Hot!" She shrieks.

Shampoo walks over and says," This is very good omen!"

"Why?" Ran shrieks.

"It good luck to kill companion of women before Shampoo go kill women herself. This time, We have two!"

"Good luck with that!" Applejack growls. Shampoo prods Applejack's hat and it falls in."NO!" She begins to cry.

Shampoo waves," Lower!"

They begin lowering her in. Suddenly it stops.

Shampoo shouts," Again!"

Lowers. Stops. Shouts. Repeat.

Shampoo wonders where the people manning the pulleys were. She goes around to check and sees Zhang fiddling there.

"Come out!"

"Just a sec." Zhang turns and asks," What is it-" He is thrown out. Ran notices this and begins to swing happily."Zhang!"

"Stop swinging."

Swings more."What?"

"Stop-(SNAP!) Shit."

Zhang hums the Indiana Jones Theme Song as he reaches into his IDS pocket and pulls out a whip and... Applejack's Hat!" Sorry Alex! I'm going to borrow it!"

Zhang then disarms each of the Amazons approaching flicking the weapons into the fire. As Ran falls in, he turns in a circle and vanishes in smoke to reappear, adjusting his hat to catch Ran, disappear again, cut Alexandria's rope, catch her, and place them next to the bonfire.

Zhang tips his hat," Most badass way to save the day!"

Suddenly, a large pike hits where he was standing 5 second ago.

"That's not good."

"Shampoo kill all of you."

Ran whispers," Now would be a good time to teleport us now!"

"Can't. Gotta stall for...(Checks imaginary watch) 5 minutes."

"Well, Shampoo's coming to kill us now!"

"No need to worry!"

Applejack says," She is awfully close now!"

"Just a couple of more minutes."

Shampoo lunges!

And then a FLASH!

A BANG!

SMOKE!

LAUGHTER!

A PIKE!

Zhang laughs. "I set a booby trap. Gotta love those!"

Zhang grabs each of the girls' hands, places the hat on Applejack's head, and disappears.

Elsewhere, a cat emerges out of the water.

Zhang laughs.

Instant Death Glare.

"Sorry."

Cologne continues," And that is why Shampoo must kill all of you."

Zhang laughs again. "Rhetorical question. What happens if I told you the people aforementioned were all victims of Jusenkyo?"

Cologne says," Then amnesty will be given!"

"Good." Zhang waves his hand and hot water falls on everybody. Revealing six horses, two men, and an alreay revealed dragon.

(But you all knew that already.)

Cologne stares,"You knew this."

"I did."

"And you didn't tell us?"

"Between fighting for my life and escaping, do you really think it would have worked?"

"..."

"Good."

Shampoo walks up to Ranma and kisses him, hugging him too.

Zhang mutters," Shit."

Soun asks, "What does it mean?"

"It means, that Ranmas now has another fiance. Most likely Shampoo and Akane will fight it out, and it will all be my fault. Again." He says deadpanned.

Silence.

Chiyo tentatively says," So what do we do now?"

"I will be getting a cup of tea." Zhang leaves.

Awkward silence.

"I'm so sorry." Cologne says.

Pinkie says," Don't worry!"

Twilight searches frantically in the book Silver Storm gave her."AHA! HEAVEN AND EARTH SOLUTION!"

"What?" All aforementioned ask.

"When a Man defeats An Amazon with a prior engagement." Full professor mode!" He can have two wives. The wives can now join and recieve Amazon training. Which means Akane is now an Amazon! Which means that the whole entire Tendo AND Saotome family are Amazons! Also more wives can join in!"

Silver Storm comes back in," I totally forgot about that rule!"

Cologne nods her head and says," I did too."

Pinkie asks,"So does that mean problem solved?"

Nods.

" No more fighting?"

Nod.

"And everybody's happy?"

Nod.

"This means..." Frightened reactions from the Mane Six as Pinkie begins to shake violently and curious reactions from everybody else." This means"

Three.

Two.

One.

Boom.

Part Cannon whipped out she aims at everything. Ovens whipped out and cakes baked. Balloons whipped out and blown up. Streamers thrown out. Cake thrown out. Sake thrown out. Party games thrown out. ALL PARTY ANIMALS HAND ON DECK!

A three second party has been thrown. It goes on to the next day.