When You're Rife With Devastation

by Happy Soul

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Alternate Universe, Tirek, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1147

Pinkie saves the world from the wrath of Tirek.

Equestria is doomed. Tirek hasn't given Twilight the choice of her friends or her magic. Everypony is in chains, working for him.
But, amidst the terror, one annoying, pink, fourth wall-breaking mare is out to stop Tirek. She is the one and only Pinkie Pie, master of bad jokes, dictator of randomness.
...
Tirek had better watch out.

Published 2014-10-18 22:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-20 17:42:24 UTC

Now What?

Author's Note

ATTENTION: THE PROLOGUE IS NOW PART OF THIS CHAPTER.

Now What?

A prison atop a hill loomed over what used to be Ponyville as the wind flew by, blocking out the moans of the innocent ponies inside. Red, spiky weeds spiralled up its walls, creating a protective barrier for anypony who dared try escape. Not like anypony did anyway. They were all too... scared to do, well, anything really. That's because they thought the Elements of Harmony would save them once again and restore peace. But not this time, it seems.

There were cells everywhere. Families had been separated. Ponies were wailing for somepony to save them, anypony, whether it be Celestia herself or a common pony. At the back of this prison was a particular cell, barred with red, spiky weeds and iron, and protected with the most advanced of technologies and magic which was unmatched. This cell was barred more than the princess' cells up in Canterlot. This particular, protected, barred cell belonged to the element bearers, who were all as miserable as everypony else.

Well, maybe a little more hopeful.

Twilight sighed, shaking her head as it hung low to the ground. She ached all over. Her friends came up to her, trying to smile, trying their best to make her feel better. She was so close, so close to saving Equestria. That's how it seemed. All the element bearers knew that this was a dark time, and showed it in their sad smiles, trying to say 'it'll be fine', but instead failing miserably.

Five out of six of them felt this way, anyway.

"Oh! Oh! Is this a 'makeTwilightfeelbettercompetition'? Because I bet I'm good at that!" A pink pony bounced up and down as if trying to get attention. She had attention before she started bouncing. She had attention as soon as the words came out of her mouth. "Guys? Hello?"

"Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash snapped.

Pinkie shrunk down, not knowing what she had done. "Dashie?"

'Dashie' sighed, slumping down. "We're in prison."

"I know!" Pinkie replied, wagging her tail like a puppy. "Isn't this exciting?"

Five groans followed this response. Applejack took her Stetson off of her head, holding it to her chest. Pinkie was curious, seizing the moment to get closer to Applejack. "Hey AJ! Why're holding your hat like that?"

Applejack sighed and threw her hat at Pinkie's head. "Take it. Like Ah care anyway."

"Care about what?" Pinkie had the hat over her face.

"Mah hat."

Pinkie bounced around excitedly with the hat on her face before stopping, holding her hoof to her chin. She then pulled out a fake moustache to complete the look. She thought for a moment before perking up. "Hey! Wanna play Hide and Seek?"

"Hide n' Seek? In a prison cell?" Applejack asked idly.

"Okay, you count!" Pinkie said before disappearing somewhere.

Applejack looked around. Where was she? Surely she can't just hide in a prison cell, can she? She couldn't see here anywhere, but it is Pinkie we're talking about here, so she could be anywhere. Applejack sighed in defeat. Suddenly a pink strand of hair loomed over her face, then more and more, until Pinkie's upside-down face came into view, and somehow the hat on her head was defying gravity. "Here I am! Hey AJ! Do I win? Do I win?"

"Sure. Ya win." Applejack actually had a smile creeping up on her face no matter how much she tried to hide it. Pinkie saw this and tapped her nose before sitting next to her. "Pinkie, a little too close fer comfort."

Pinkie Pie scooted away a little, still looking at Applejack. "You're smiling~"

"Whut?" Applejack blushed a little. "No Ah'm not!"

"You are," Pinkie said, then went into a low whisper, "I can see it!"

"You can whut now?"

"I can seeeeeee it on your face!" She leaned close. "On your faaaaace!"

"See whut?"

"That spider on your face!" Pinkie said, pointing to a small spider on Applejack's muzzle. She hadn't seen this before. "Right there!"

Applejack reared in the air, the spider flying off of her nose. "Woa-woooooah! Woah nelly, that thing scared me."

Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash simply glared at Applejack with unimpressed looks on their faces. Pinkie Pie sighed. "Why are you all so serious?"

Rarity scowled. "Because we're in a prison cell, locked up by an evil creature, with no chance of us being let out!"

"Buuuut~" Pinkie stood on her hind legs, waving her hooves around. "We can break out! So hold your moustaches and let's go!" She twisted the moustache on her nose then proceeded to rub her hooves together like an evil villain. "Pinkie Pie style!"

Fluttershy frowned, blowing a loose strand out of her face. "And... how do you suppose we do that? I mean... look at the weeds! And the bars! A-and the GUARDS!" Tears were flowing from Fluttershy's eyes as she cradled her head in her hooves. "My poor animal babies! Where are they?!"

"It's okay Fluttershy," Twilight said, giving her a smile. "Maybe we will get out of here, like Pinkie said." Then she muttered, "probably not..."

"Don't be such a dope!" Pinkie yelled into Twilight's face, alarming her. "AJ can kick down the bars, and Dashie can kill the guards!"

"Kill?!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Would I really go that far?"

"Or~" Pinkie bounced around. "Rarity can flirt them into submission!"

"Those ruffians?!" Flirt with them?! Ridiculous!"

"Do you wanna break out of prison or not?!" Pinkie yelled.

Applejack was already at the bars, trying to buck them down. "It's no use!" she yelled. "Darn thing!" Applejack was sweating. She looked like she was ready to kill. Little by little, the dints in the bars grew bigger until they crumbled before her eyes. "Now that's how an Apple does it!"

Rainbow Dash took the lead, flying in the air. "Let's go!"

"Shhh! Don't fly! And not so loud!" Twilight hissed. Rainbow Dash obliged, settling down on the floor.

"Dirt!"

"Shut up Rarity!"

Eventually they had reached a hallway, full of guards. Rainbow let out a war cry, seizing the moment to knock all the guards out. She pounded one's skull, kicked one's face, and twisted one's neck. Eventually all six of them were down, so Rainbow Dash turned to face her friends. "See, wasn't so hard, was it?" She boasted, folding her forelegs as she hovered in the air. All of her friends weren't looking! What were they looking at?

Fluttershy pointed a hoof at something behind Rainbow Dash. "B-behind you..."

Rainbow Dash looked behind herself to see a whole army of guards. Her eyes widened quickly as she backed away into her group of friends. "Looks like they didn't overlook that, eh?"

"No, darling," Rarity answered feebly, as surprised as the mare herself. "They certainly have an attention to detail, as it seems."