"Do You Want to Go Skateboards?"

by Takarashi282

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Crossover, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1126

Rainbow Dash meets quite the odd cow.

Rainbow Dash was having a relatively good day. However, when a weird cow comes by, the day turns to a 'wat'?

Obviously based off of TomSka's "asdfmovie8".

Published 2014-10-14 15:50:10 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-14 15:50:10 UTC

... Skateboards!

Rainbow Dash had met a few cows in her lifetime. They all had fine personalities, at least, raised by the Apples, they were. But, since she didn't converse with them as much as Applejack would've liked, she normally didn't think about them much.

Until that one day.

She was sleeping on her nice, fluffy, low-hanging cloud as per usual on this sunny Monday morning, dreaming of flying with the Wonderbolts... and for some reason extras, when, all of a sudden, a voice just popped up in her dreams.

"Do you want to go skateboards?"

Her dream popped, shattered, and exploded all at once. It was a tenor voice, but it seemed like every word was forced out, enthuses always on the first syllable of the words. Drowsily, Rainbow Dash rolled her head off the side of the cloud, squinting her eyes to see what lay on the pavement below her. In the shadow of her cloud was a cow, quite angular, as compared to the cows she'd seen. Also unlike other cows, and almost disturbingly, this cow didn't have any eye color, his eyes a dark void while he looked up at her.

"Er..." Rainbow Dash's voice crackled. She didn't know what to say. Of course, she'd had a blast on skateboards with the little squirt Scootaloo yesterday, but why on Earth would a cow want to go skateboarding. All that Rainbow Dash knew is that cows were peaceful, much more than the ponies in the town. But, it was odd seeing even an out of place cow wanting to skateboard. "Who... are you...?" she slurred, yawning.

"Oh yes I am pony do you want to go skateboards?" Strangely, and even more disturbingly, its jaw didn't move. The upper part of his head moved upward with every word, so defined Rainbow Dash couldn't even understand how this cow could even form words.

"Oooookaaayyy..." Rainbow Dash's mind wandered, namely in ways of how to get away from this aberration. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought that, but she was honestly creeped out by the guy. She wanted to bolt right out of there if social standards permitted her to do so. But, no. She was supposed to be nice, welcoming, or she would gather odd looks, even if she was talking to a cow. "Sorry, man." She said the words slowly, picking them wisely. "I'm really—" she yawned for effect, slowly taking in a lungful of air. "—really tired."

Before Rainbow Dash rolled back onto her cloud, the cow's eyes narrowed. "But you don't understand do you want to go skateboards?"

Rainbow Dash felt nervousness start to build up inside her. "I think I've already said no, buddy..." The curtains of sleep were now drawn back, and she took her stance, ready to spring to action if this cow decided to do anything more creepy.

"Skateboards?"

"Nope!" Before she knew it, she was flying, flapping her wings frantically, wanting to put as much distance between her and that cow as possible. She couldn't believe what she just saw, what she just witnessed. She knew that cattle were sentient, and she sometimes enjoyed talking to them, but this guy... this guy was just too creepy to figure out. Rainbow Dash shook her head from the thoughts, becoming queasy from her own nervousness.

Okay, she thought, I just need to take a shower. Get this thought out of my head and be done with it. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened with realization, her heart jumping with anticipation. Isn't the next installment of Daring Do coming out today? she thought, a smile snapping on her face. YES! That's something I'm gonna have to do. But she frowned as she realized she was going to finish it in one sitting... and then back to reality again.

And once everything that she expected happened, and a little extra work gathering clouds over Canterlot for the weekly rain, she found herself exhausted, partially from boredom. She collapsed on her bed taking in an elongated sigh as she wrapped the sheets around her, the chill of them sitting at room temperature slowly turning to a very comfortable warmth. She had finished Daring Do in one sitting, and she had nothing else to do but to snore the day away in the comfort of her own home.

Then her mind started to wander back to that odd cow, met with a Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! She banged her head against her pillow, trying to get the image of the void eyes out of her memory. She couldn't stand the thought of him, he was so odd. In fact, he was probably the next thing she could think of when it came to paranormal activity. She knit her eyebrows. Yet... she didn't know where the cow came from. Was he apart of the Apple's herd, or was he nomadic? Nomadic... and fertile? She shivered at the thought. No, she decided, I cannot stand any more of that cow, if I can avoid it.

She turned in her sheets, the warm fingers of sleep caressing her mind as her eyelids began to feel heavy. All thoughts of the cow dissipated as her eyes finally gave in, falling asleep slowly, then all at once.

That's when she heard the clopping.

She woke up, surprisingly, four hours later, staring at the wall at the head over bed. She was not a belly sleeper, but for some reason, she always managed to turn herself ninety degrees every night, leaving her sheets at awkward angles. At first, a light curiosity stuck her, but as the clops continued and got louder and louder, crescendoing gradually, her eyes started to widen, and her heart jumped. It couldn't be... She shook her head. No, it could be Pinkie Pie... but she doesn't do this. Please be Pinkie Pie... please be Pinkie Pie!

The clopping grew louder and louder, until it was right outside her door. She quaked in her bed, feeling like she was going to throw up as the door squeaked open. The clopping slowed, as if it came every second.

Clop. Clop. CLOP. CLOP, the noise came to an unbearable volume. Rainbow Dash couldn't tell what was worse: the anticipation, or the point where the intruder would be revealed.

That was when she felt a hoof on her side. She muffled a screech. This is it, Rainbow Dash thought, the moment of truth. She slowly turned over, her eyes catching his. The eyes, no, the black void going on forever, his square features, breathing air that felt cold on Rainbow Dash's coat sent her voice quavering as he whispered this one statement:

"Skateboards..."

Author's Note

Oh, yeah, and here's asdfmovie8! Enjoy TomSka's classic!