Derpy's normal day

Derpy crashed through the door and landed into her seat. Except her flank was where her head was supposed to be. She stood up and got in her chair the right way. Then dinner was served except it was very black. Pinkie explained that she thought time went backwards or stood still so she just kept baking until 8:00 and then when they came out, they looked like raspberry flavored even though she put it blue berry batter. Derpy thought mmmm raspberry...
"So when do we e..WOAH!"
Derpy had fallen off her chair and somehow managed to break the floor even though it was the ground story.
"Im ok." said Derpy "Just toss the muffins down here!"
"Okie dokie wokie" said Pinkie pie. She threw about 2 muffins down to the hole (note it was 4 feet deep). Derpy was about to eat one when suddenly, she bit into the muffin and it was as hard as a rock. Derpy asked if they had a hammer. Pinkie threw one down and Derpy used the muffin as protection for her head. She heard a crack, and a shatter, but that came from the HAMMER.
Derpy gets another idea! Since the muffins are equal, then bashing them together will make them break at the same time! She flew up,went outside,and then went to Rainbow dash. Derpy taped one muffin to the floor and Rainbow dash flew up very high. She went down with incredible force, 2000ft away from the second muffin she did the sonic rainboom. Going at mach 10 speed she is flying fast! The muffins are 20 ft away and.... THEY MAKE CONTACT! Atoms splitting, molecules breaking, cells dying, tissue corrupting! A large explosion erupts and blasts Rainbowdash away and clearing the clouds in less than 10 seconds. THE MUFFINS HAVE TURNED TO DUST!. Derpy realized she can make some bits from this. So she asked Pinkie to make more of those burnt muffins and made anti explosion bases out of them, but nobody would pay so instead, she had contests.
And thats when Derpy woke up and started her normal day.

First fanfic, hope you enjoyed.