Derpy's normal day

by Derpy Hoov3s

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Random, Main 6
Length: 1636

How do you think Derpy Hooves spends her day? Read to find out!

Derpy is about to show us her normal day. Well actually we're just watching her do her normal things. Or we're listening BUT anyways, Here we go!

Published 2012-07-13 16:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-13 16:14:01 UTC

Chapter 1:Morning

Zzzz... R.RRING!
Derpy falls out of bed and falls into the hole she left in the floor that led to her fridge.
"Good morning world!" says Derpy. She makes cereal while watching TV. Her hoof slips and the cereal she already poured went back into the box.
"Well it didn't make a mess." says Derpy. Then the bottom of the cereal box bursts open and cereal spills out.
"Woops..." says Derpy
"Time to wake everyone up!" says Derpy excitedly!
She looks at the clock and realizes its only 5:40 AM.
"Everyone has a morning routine, so i should get them started by waking them up!" says Derpy with more excitement.
She starts flying around and crashing into roofs, trees, and somehow, Rainbowdash's favorite cloud!
"Sorry rainbow!" yells Derpy as she flies by to knock on Pinkie Pie's door. Right before she knocks on the door, it blasts open bombarding her with balloons, cake, and cookies! Pinkie Pie jumps out of the rubble and starts prancing around.
"Um... Goodmorning i guess..." says Derpy with confusion. As she is flying to Fluttershy's house, she sees many birds eating seeds from the roof. She rushes to the door, about to knock on it. We read the odometer, and it says 25! She's almost at the door and! She trips, falls, and knocks on the window on accident. Fluttershy came out with a million birds and fluttershy with tiredness in her eyes.
"Goodmorning Fluttershy!" says Derpy.
"Goodmorning." Said Fluttershy with her usual soft voice.
"Whos next?" Says Derpy. She reads over her list of ponies and decides to wake up Rarity next.
When Derpy knocked on her door, she wouldn't come out. So Derpy went home, printed a picture of a giant diamond, held it up to Rarity's window, and yelled as loud as she could. Rarity hardly opened her eyes but was able to see the big "diamond" on her window. She jumped towards the window at amazing speed. About to hit the window with her hoof, she just picked up a hammer and gently knocked on the window, that broke it.
"Goodmorning Rarity!" Says Derpy.
"Wheres the diamond!?" asks Rarity as she scurries around.
"It's cardboard." answered Derpy.
"Then.. that means...."
"Yep, you broke your golden window for nothing" said Derpy
"WAAAAHHHH" cries Rarity.
While Rarity is rolling on the ground, Derpy quickly flies away, bumping into a tree that dropped red apples on Applejack right before she kicked the tree.
"Hey, yall be careful when around my apples!" said Applejack "but thanks for picking 'dem apples for me!"
"No problem!" said Derpy
Derpy started flying home and preparing for lunch. She was about to get into the kitchen when she realized it was only 6:00 Am.
"Well, lets see now..." said Derpy
She grabbed all of the clocks in Ponyville and changed them to 12:00.
"There we go! now i can eat."
Derpy quickly slapped together a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich, and realized she had cake.
"Hm... Lets combine them!"
She cut a hole open inside the cake, and threw her sandwich inside.
"Two tasty treats in one, Genius!"
Derpy quickly gobbled up the cake faster than a vacuum can clean a wood floor with a single dustbunny.

Chapter 3: Actual afternoon

When the meeting started, Derpy snuck out, tripped on a rock, and hit her wing. She let out a light scream so she wouldn't be noticed. She went to everyones house and started to change the time to 2:00, which was the right time. After a while, the meeting ended and everypony that was about to sleep, threw their pajamas in their closets, and put on their regular saddles, dresses, and flowers.
"What just happened? My cookies were supposed to finish at 8 o'clock and its 3, did we go back in time?" says Pinkiepie in confusion. Derpy shrugged and tried to hide that she was the one that made the time go foward. She continued her normal day by flying around and hitting trees roof's and townhall. It was her everyday thing, she didn't mean it. Now she is just messing around by saying hi to someone and crashing into their roof.
"Hey Applejack!" says Derpy as she flies.
"Hey der darlin', hey i need some help here, can you lend a hoof?" responds Applejack.
"Sure!" Derpy said
Applejack explained to Derpy that she had to scare away animals that are trying to steal her apples while she collects them.
"Got it?" asked Applejack.
"Of course!" Derpy responded.
One by one the trees went down and not a single animal came. Derpy thought it would be easy, but it was just starting.
"Squirrel to your right!" Yelled Applejack.
Derpy started prancing then chasing the squirrel and then falling almost squishing it, that scared it away. That was her plan for the rest of the time. It didn't hurt, so might as well keep it up.. Thought Derpy. The next animal was a racoon and Derpy did something different this time, forgetting about he plan. She grabbed an apple, and threw it far far away. The racoon squeaked (or whatever noises racoons make) and then ran for the apple she threw. She continued this for about 10 minutes but then Applejack noticed that there were no more apples left on the trees.
"Where in tarnation did my apples go?" asked Applejack.
"Oh, I threw them to scare away the little critters so they can have their own food." explained Derpy.
When Applejack saw about 20 apples in the distance, she ran for them and quickly jumped and stole them. Then she trotted back to her farm.
"Now sugarcube, these apples are to feed the ponies, not the critters. Thats Fluttershy's job."
Derpy flew away to go to sugarcube corner. Pinkiepie was serving cupcakes for dinner.

Chapter 2:Fake afternoon

Ever since Derpy changed the clocks, ponies were rushing to go to work, sign papers, and do lots of other stuff. They worked very fast and tried not to mess up a single thing because it was 1:00, or atleast they thought it was. Derpy was the calmest of all the ponies.
"What are you doing!?" asks Rainbowdash.
"Nothing." answeres Derpy.
"Don't you know the time!?" asks Rainbowdash "It's 1:15! It's almost time for the meeting!"
"Really? Ok." says Derpy.
They flew towards town hall and Derpy, of course, broke the roof of townhall. Rainbowdash and Derpy looked around noticing the mayor wasn't there. The reason was, Derpy didn't change ALL of the clocks. The mayor has a clock that goes off when meetings are held, and it isn't changable.
"Where is the mayor?" asks Fluttershy.
"I don't know but if she ever comes, I will be the first to give her a hoof five, give her a cookie, and even turn on the microphone for her!" said Pinkiepie hyperly.
When the time was 2:00, everyone started to leave. When the time was REALLY 1:00 , everyone thought it was 6:00 pm.
When the mayor showed up, a tumbleweed flew by and a cricket stole a crumb from one of Pinkiepie's cookie.
"Why, where is everyone?" asks the mayor to her guards.
"Maybe the lost track of time." answers one of the guards
Derpy looked out her window and saw the mayor on the stand.
"Oh no, I changed the time!" said Derpy with remembrance.
She started flying around knocking on doors. Nobody came out because they were about to sleep. She then got a strange idea. She took the mayor and started telling her to yell "Meeting now!".
The mayor did so, and everypony finally showed up.

Chapter 4: Dinner at sugarcube corner

Derpy crashed through the door and landed into her seat. Except her flank was where her head was supposed to be. She stood up and got in her chair the right way. Then dinner was served except it was very black. Pinkie explained that she thought time went backwards or stood still so she just kept baking until 8:00 and then when they came out, they looked like raspberry flavored even though she put it blue berry batter. Derpy thought mmmm raspberry...
"So when do we e..WOAH!"
Derpy had fallen off her chair and somehow managed to break the floor even though it was the ground story.
"Im ok." said Derpy "Just toss the muffins down here!"
"Okie dokie wokie" said Pinkie pie. She threw about 2 muffins down to the hole (note it was 4 feet deep). Derpy was about to eat one when suddenly, she bit into the muffin and it was as hard as a rock. Derpy asked if they had a hammer. Pinkie threw one down and Derpy used the muffin as protection for her head. She heard a crack, and a shatter, but that came from the HAMMER.
Derpy gets another idea! Since the muffins are equal, then bashing them together will make them break at the same time! She flew up,went outside,and then went to Rainbow dash. Derpy taped one muffin to the floor and Rainbow dash flew up very high. She went down with incredible force, 2000ft away from the second muffin she did the sonic rainboom. Going at mach 10 speed she is flying fast! The muffins are 20 ft away and.... THEY MAKE CONTACT! Atoms splitting, molecules breaking, cells dying, tissue corrupting! A large explosion erupts and blasts Rainbowdash away and clearing the clouds in less than 10 seconds. THE MUFFINS HAVE TURNED TO DUST!. Derpy realized she can make some bits from this. So she asked Pinkie to make more of those burnt muffins and made anti explosion bases out of them, but nobody would pay so instead, she had contests.
And thats when Derpy woke up and started her normal day.

First fanfic, hope you enjoyed.