A Visitor

by Rinnaul

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3025

Celestia's work is interrupted by a small and unusual guest. It doesn't remain small for long.

Celestia hadn't expected to spend her afternoon doing anything more than filling out typical paperwork. When she's interrupted by a small ball being rolled around by an even smaller creature, she didn't imagine that this would derail her entire day.

The thing is, small problems can quickly turn into large ones.

Particularly when that problem is a katamari.

(Oneshotober 2014—A random Katamari crossover because Asilin has recently been trying to get 100% on Katamari Forever.)

Published 2014-10-17 05:50:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-17 05:50:08 UTC

Hello There

There was more to being a Princess than holding court, making public appearances, and hosting foreign dignitaries. Occasionally, Princess Celestia was forced to play her part in the bureaucracy that kept Equestria running with her minimal input, and actually fill out her own paperwork. She wouldn't say she hated the task—there were worse things about her role, after all. She didn't like the distance it put between her and her citizens. She hated having to be a stern authority figure when she'd much prefer to show compassion. And in ten centuries, settling the squabbles of the nobility had never ceased to be tedious.

But yes, paperwork was near the bottom of the list.

Still, it had to be done, and she preferred to tune out everything else and work through it as quickly as possible. This is possibly the reason she didn't notice anything amiss in her office until she felt something bump into one of her back hooves.

Celestia started at the interruption and glanced around the room, wary for a more serious incursion, but merely expecting Discord or her sister playing some kind of game. Once she looked down, however, she found something unexpected.

A small, multicolored ball, about the size of a large apple, was sitting against her hoof. It was covered with lumps and projections, and seemed quite dirty. Lint was stuck all over it, as well as a hoofful of ants that were still wriggling around. It also seemed to have collected a hoofful of stray bits, a game piece she recalled Twilight losing behind a cabinet last time they spent an afternoon together, a button that had popped off of the dress she wore to Twilight's coronation (that she didn't like admitting to losing in such a manner), and an earring she thought Luna had lost some weeks prior.

"And what are you?" she asked as she lifted the little ball in her magic, floating it up to eye level in a golden glow. "Some enchantment of Luna's that escaped from her?" She blinked as she caught sight of a tiny figure floating in her aura below the ball. "Oh, hello there."

The tiny creature kicked and strained as it seemed to struggle to reach the ball. After a moment, Celestia relented and abandoned her study of the tiny thing.

“Well, it does seem quite important to you. I suppose I can return it.” She lowered the little creature and its ball back down to the floor and watched it resume its laborious task of rolling an object quite a bit larger than itself around the room.

The creature had some difficulty starting, but soon had the ball moving at a good pace around the room, occasionally darting forward with surprising speed, which is apparently how it caught the insects that were already stuck to the ball. Despite the impressive agility the little creature managed despite the size of its burden, there did seem to be some disadvantages to the arrangement. Primarily, Celestia was beginning to believe the creature had no idea where it was going, judging by how often it collided with walls and furniture.

Soon, the little thing rolled out of sight, and Celestia debated following it.

While she did relish the thought of a good excuse to put off her paperwork for another time, and she was terribly curious about what the little thing was and where it had come from; some of the matters demanding her presence at her desk were rather urgent, and it wasn’t like such a small—and adorable—thing could cause any real harm.

It wasn’t like she was dealing with a parasprite, after all.

With a sigh, she took up a quill in her magic and returned her attention to the stack of papers in front of her. She sometimes wondered how Twilight would react if she ever realized that Celestia’s work-before-play attitude was forced more often than not.

At least she could look forward to eventually hunting down the little creature once everything else was taken care of.

A short while later, Celestia found herself trotting through the halls, peeking into corners, checking behind doors, and bending down to peer under tables. She’d seen no sign of the little creature or its ball for her entire search, and was beginning to grow rather frustrated, and yet concerned. It would be terrible if something happened to such a cute little creature.

Celestia frowned at the thought and continued her search. She supposed she was on the right trail; the floors down these halls were immaculate, and while she had utter confidence in the castle’s cleaning staff, they—

“I hope everything is satisfactory, your highness.”

She started at the voice, and then straightened herself up and turned to the source of the interruption—one of the castle’s maids.

“Of course, Miss…” She glanced at the earth pony’s cutie mark, a ring of Fall leaves, to jog her memory, and then continued with a smile. “Wreath. I’m confident in the work you do, both yourself and everypony else who works in the castle. I’m not inspecting the halls, merely searching for something.”

“Oh? If you don’t mind, Princess, perhaps I could be of service?” Autumn Wreath asked. “One of us may have found it already. If it’s no trouble, you could let me know what it is you’re looking for.”

“I wouldn’t mind another set of eyes, though the item in question might sound rather odd.” Celestia continued searching down the hall, Autumn just behind her. “It’s a ball, roughly the size of a grapefruit, with various objects stuck to the surface. A tiny creature was rolling it around.”

Autumn paused and blink. “I’m sorry, your highness? A little creature rolling a ball?”

“I said it would sound strange, didn’t I?” Celestia looked back to her with a smile. “I suspect Discord or my sister are involved somehow, but it seemed harmless. Unfortunately, I couldn’t investigate it at the time, and now I have no idea what’s become of it.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose that does make sense, then.”

The two mares continued the search in much the same manner as Celestia had been doing before, though making considerably faster progress now that she had somepony else along to help her look. However, it wasn’t long before the search was interrupted again, this time by a series of loud crashes and shouts down a nearby hall which lead to the armory.

Concerned, Celestia turned towards the noise, with Autumn trailing behind. When she was only halfway to the door, though, it burst open and a pegasus guard tumbled out, kicking it closed behind him. He spread his wings to take off, but stopped when he saw Celestia standing a mere few yards away. Galloping up to her, he stumbled to a halt and gave a very rushed bow.

“Your highness! I was just on my way to report to you!”

“Corporal Coudbreak?” Celestia glanced at him, but kept her attention on the door. “What’s going on in there?”

“We aren’t sure, your highness. A strange rolling ball of debris came from the kitchens, covered in diningware and our food stocks, and we pursued it to the library. It rolled through the stacks and every book it touched stuck to the surface. It seemed to have some intelligence guiding it, but ignored our demands to stop.” He looked back towards the doorway. “When it came this way, we thought we could corner it the the armory, but when Corporal Serenade tried to catch it with magic, she was pulled in, and when Sergeant Moonlight tried to pull her free, he was drawn in as well!” He lowered his voice as he turned to the princess again. “We suspect this is something of Discord’s doing.”

“I had begun to think as much myself,” Celestia began, only to be cut off by a loud popping sound as both armory doors suddenly fell from their hinges.

At first it appeared the doors were falling towards the group, but it soon became apparent they were actually rolling towards them, affixed to the surface of the ball. The entire conglomerate sphere paused for a moment, allowing them to see two sets of pony legs, presumably belonging to Moonlight and Serenade, sticking out of the side and kicking wildly. And then it began spinning in place, rapidly picking up speed.

“Princess, look out!” Cloudbreak shouted, leaping between her and the sphere with his wings spread. “This is what it does before it—”

His explanation was cut off as the ball suddenly surged towards them, far faster than it had gone up to that point. Autumn Wreath shrieked and cowered behind Celestia as the guard leapt to take flight. Celestia spun and wrapped a wing around Autumn, both of them vanishing in a burst of yellow light. A beam of sunlight streaked from where they had been standing, bounced off of a shield mounted on the wall, and struck the ground behind the ball, where they reappeared in a similar flash, now safely out of the ball’s path.

Celestia stood, leaving a comforting wing on the withers of the stunned and hyperventilating Autumn as she watched the ball go speeding down the halls, picking up various pieces of artwork and decorative armor as it did—while carrying a screaming Corporal Cloudbreak along with it, firmly stuck to one side.

“I thought he’d dodge that…” Celestia said, before turning to Autumn Wreath again. “Go lie down somewhere. I don’t think it will be able to fit through normal doors anymore, so you should be safe. I need to go gather the Guard and stop that thing now, alright?”

Autumn nodded and took a few steadying breaths before a nudge from Celestia sent her hurrying off towards a nearby room. As soon as the maid was taken care off, Celestia rushed off herself, chasing after the sphere.

Fortunately for Celestia, gathering the royal guard happened all on its own. Everypony came running to see what all the commotion was. Some got caught up in the ball like the first three guards had been, but others had enough sense to stand back from it, and when the guards among them saw their princess galloping along behind the ball, they were quick to give chase themselves.

“No magic!” she called back when she saw horns lighting behind her. “Unless you want to be caught as well!”

The guardsponies glanced between one another and the princess, then nodded and kept to the chase.

Nopony considered the fact that, in the absence of magic, they had no plan to contain the sphere at all.

Regardless, they chased it, until it crashed through another large set of doors and flew down the stairs, taking the doors with it, and landed in the statue garden. Immediately it began rolling again, now picking up benches, statuary, and even portions of the hedge. The assembled ponies all stared dumbstruck at the sight of the entire gardens being casually disassembled and compacted into a ball.

“Sister, what in Equestria is all of the commotion?” Luna strode out of the hole that used to contain the doors to the garden and stood by Celestia just in time to see the ball’s latest pass around the gardens.

She froze, eyes wide. Then her eye twitched. And then she narrowed her eyes and folded back her ears, gritting her teeth as a black coloration rippled across her coat before it restored itself to it’s usual blue. “He hath broke our agreement,” she growled.

‘He?’ Celestia thought as she turned to her sister. “Do you mean Discord, Luna? Is this his work?”

“No. The King of All Cosmos.” Luna looked no less angry as she lit her horn, glaring towards the ball.

“Sister, no!” Celestia stood to intervene. “If you use magic, you will be captured along with the others!”

Luna rolled her eyes and struck out with her magic. A flash of blue light shot towards the ball, but rather than target the mass of the thing, it struck the ground at the sphere’s base. An instant later, there was a tiny flash of white light, and a miniscule figure appeared floating in Luna’s magic directly before her eyes.

“Hello, little Prince,” she said.

The tiny creature took one look at her expression and immediately curled into a quivering ball. Out in the gardens, the sphere struck a wall and finally came to a halt.

“Sister, what is going on?” Celestia asked. “You know this creature?”

Luna nodded, then closed her eyes and took a series of calming breaths, eventually opening them with much calmer expression. She smiled at the little figure. “You can stop that now, Prince. I apologize for being so cross with you. You are not the true subject of my ire.”

The little creature looked up at her just enough to tilt it’s head to one side.

“Ah, I suppose your father neglected to tell you of me. That does sound like something he would do, though he did tell me about you when we last spoke and reaffirmed our concord.” Luna frowned again. “On that point, I must speak with your father.”

The prince looked between her and the ball in the distance, anxiety transparent on his face. But eventually, he raised his hands to the air, and a few short seconds later, and rainbow-colored ripple appeared in the sky above them, a huge face visible beyond it.

“OH DEAR,” it said. “THIS IS NOT VERY LARGE AT ALL. YOU HAD ALL THE TIME YOU NEEDED, AND YET YOU PRODUCED SUCH A SMALL KATAMARI.”

Luna flew upwards in a rush of speed, her mane and tail (and her magic holding the Prince) streaking behind her. Once she was sufficient height to address the giant without looking vertically upwards, she called out towards it. “KING OF ALL COSMOS,” she called out in the Royal Canterlot Voice, “THOU HATH VIOLATED ACCORDS BETWEEN OUR WORLDS. THESE PROMISES WERE MADE IN GOOD FAITH, AND…”

Luna paused, taking in the King’s boxy and mechanical appearance.

“And thou art not the King of All Cosmos. Identify thyself!” she demanded.

“OH.” The giant finally took notice of her. “WE ARE NOT THE KING. WE ARE ROBOKING. WE ARE STANDING IN FOR HIM WHILE HE RECOVERS FROM AN INJURY. ARE YOU A FAN OF HIS? THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE.”

“I… cannot say that I am,” Luna replied at length, finally confused enough by the entire encounter to abandon her Royal Voice. “Why, exactly, would that be terrible?”

“WHEN WE LEARNED THAT THE KING WOULD ANSWER FAN REQUESTS BEFORE HE WAS INCAPACITATED, WE REALIZED THAT WE MIGHT BE ROLLING UP ALL OF HIS FANS,” the RoboKing replied, wringing it’s metal, clawed hands. “WE DO NOT WISH TO THINK OF WHAT THE KING WOULD DO TO US IF HE WOKE TO DISCOVER ALL OF HIS FANS MISSING. SO WE THOUGHT WE WOULD ROLL THE KATAMARI IN A PLACE WHERE HE HAD NO FANS. HOWEVER, THE KING IS SO COOL THAT WE HAD TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER CELESTIAL SPHERE TO FIND A PLACE WITH NO FANS.”

“It sounds as though you did not know of our agreement,” Luna said. “And so I suppose you may be forgiven.”

“THANK YOU. IN THAT CASE, WE SHALL TAKE OUR KATAMARI AND—”

“You will not be taking the things the katamari collected!” she said. “That was the entire purpose of the agreement!”

“BUT WE PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO IT!” the RoboKing protested. “AND NOW WE HAVE NOWHERE TO ROLL.”

“I know of a place you may use,” Luna said with a smile. “No good has ever come from that sphere, and I doubt anypony will miss it.”

“THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN,” the RoboKing said. “THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCELLENT SOLUTION. LET US JUST TAKE THE—”

The RoboKing pointed a grabber towards the Katamari, and it vanished in a swirl of rainbow light. Everything which had been a part of it unceremoniously fell to the ground in a series of crashes and screams, depending on whether that particular part was a sentient being or not.

Luna winced at the noise, and turned to glare at the RoboKing.

“OH,” it said, “PERHAPS WE COULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THROUGH BETTER.”

“JUST GO!” Luna shouted up at them, her blue aura flaring as she opened a new portal, tossing the Prince through. The RoboKing and his katamari passed through via their own portal soon after. Luna flew back down and landed by her sister, grumbling.

“Sister,” Celestia began. “I have many questions. But first among them—where did you send them?”

Luna grinned again, a rather sinister expression this time. “As I said. A place nopony will miss.”

In another celestial sphere entirely, there existed a world startingly similar to the one we just left behind. True, perhaps it was a bit duller, a bit less energetic, and a bit more modern, but the largest similarity could not be overlooked.

Two ponies lay on a picnic blanket alongside a river, a basket between them.

“Thanks for bringing me back out here, Teddy,” said a chubby white mare with a pink mane and a trio of hearts on her flank.

“Sure thing, Sweetheart,” said her companion, a blue stallion with an orange mane, the image of a comb on his flank, and a pair of sunglasses perched on his head. “It seems to be going better than last time, anyway.”

“Yeah, I know. You haven’t even accidentally almost drowned one of your family members or anything!”

“Seriously, you do something one time…”

“Hey, do you hear something? Like, something rolling, and a bunch of popping sounds?”

“No, why?”

And that’s when the katamari crashed through the nearby bushes and rolled them both up before continuing towards the nearby city.

And nothing of value was lost.

Author's Note

Quick OC name trick: Go to Yankee Candle's website. Scroll through scents until you see a name you like. Done.

Looked elsewhere for the guards, since I wanted those to be a little less flowery, but there you go.

You get to figure out what the second crossover is.