I'm Stupid

by Princess Glitzy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 584

I may have created a giant walnut that wants to kill everypony. Maybe. But, if I did, hypothetically, do that, it was totally by accident.

I may have created a giant walnut that wants to kill everypony. Maybe. But, if I did, hypothetically, do that, it was totally by accident.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-01 22:19:35 UTC

You know that mare, Twilight Sparkle? Yeah, she's stupid. I know. It surprised me, too.

Ponies tell me I'm smart all the time. Some tell me just to get on my good side, some are actually impressed by my wit and others are just so stupid compared to me that I'm a god or something. Nonetheless, normally I would agree. But, I just now realized that I'm not. I'm stupid, in fact. Like, really insanely stupid. It just hit me, out of the blue. I was just preparing to fight this giant walnut- Oh wait, I forgot to mention that. That's pretty important. That's actually the main, and only, plot point. How could I forget to mention that? It's probably because I'm so stupid. See how I tied that right in? Clever, right? No? Again, totally supporting the whole stupid thing.

Anyway, as I was saying, or narrating, I guess? Nah, that would be breaking the fourth wall too much. Is my knowledge of the fourth wall strong enough to break it? Is this little monologue about my knowledge of the fourth wall? Probably. You know, I'm really starting to think that I should've caught on to my stupidity earlier. Although, if I truly am stupid, I wouldn't be able to tell. I digress. Normally, that's an intro back into what you were saying, but I don't even remember. See, this is why ponies keep telling me to stop rambling. Uhh... So, I was talking about how stupid I am and then- The giant walnut! Got it! One point for Twilight Sparkle. I'm Twilightlicious! Nope, sorry, I lost my point. Dammit. I'll just start with one of those dramatic flashbacks where most of the story is set in the past.

It was June, and Ponyville was in the middle of a gruesome winter. The air was as dark as the ocean and the clouds were as deep as the ocean and the sun was also, somehow, similar to the ocean. The cold air wafted betwixt the space between the blanket and your skin, even though your mom tucked you in and everything. Snow buried all inhabitants in, like, three inches of snow. It was on a Monday, too, so everypony had to get home from work and then spend forever shoveling. Basically, everything sucked, on this crisp, treacherous, and other adjective night. No, wait. Not winter. I meant that other season. You know, the other one. Summer? Is that what it's called? The season that isn't Winter, basically. Okay, let's restart.

It was June, and Ponyville was in the middle of one of those summers where you're happy it's not cold, but you're too hot, so you turn on your fan, but then you just get cold again, so you turn it off and you get hot again, so you turn it back on. Yeah, it was like that. Everypony was in their pools, except for the ponies without pools who then broke into others' yards and started swimming in their pools. Annoying children ran around playing with their Nintendo Playstation 360s because school had stopped and everypony wanted to cram a lot of stupid things into their schedules before school started again and they had to start doing meaningful things and actually think about their futures. Ummm... There isn't anything to say, other than that. It's hot. Oh, and Twilight Sparkle also did some stuff.

Now that we're done setting the scene, let's abruptly transition into the rest of the story!