Rarity Gets Pregnant And Gets An Abortion From Pinkie Pie

by PsychopathicBrony

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 1152

Pinkie Pie isn't qualified but she's certainly available in the abortion sense. Rarity requires her services.

Rarity's in deep shit. She's pregnant and far too young to be. Consequentially, she seeks help from Ponyvilles own resident lunatic medically educated professional; Pinkus Pieucus.

WARNING: Memetastic.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-21 19:00:36 UTC

Abortions Are Magic xDD

Rarity reclined on her couch, troubled by her current position. The small kicks in her stomach sent sharp pains through her spine, eliciting groans and thrashes of her head in response. In her agony, she thought about a possible solution. Coathangers were too painful and giving birth to the womb wallower was out of the question. Beauty is pain. The fetus will have to endure the pain in the name of her youthful figure.

Oh, but who could ever stomach (pun intended) it? It isn't exactly a common practice that's spoken of lightly. A back-alley surgeon? No, too risky. Magic? Unethical. She could do it herself? Yeah, no.

Rarity suddenly began hyperventilating at the prospect of childbirth. She would never get fucked again. She would never move to Haywaii and adopt 3 children and live in a rusty caravan with a married millionaire stallion that she would eventually poison!

No, no. There was no need for this. Life finds a way.

In situations like this, you had to look to the responsible ones. Unfortunately, the most responsible mare around was a pink baker with paranoid schizophrenia and delusions of grandeur. Truly, only in Ponyville.

Pinkie Pie twirled around in sugarcube corner, a blissful expression plastered on her features. She stopped momentarily, "Gee-wiz, I sure do hope someone will come and ask me to perform an abortion today!"

Suddenly, the bakery door swung open, a pregnant rarity proceeding to waddle through, her head hung low and small moans emanating from her mouth.

"Fuck me, you've got fat!" Pinkie exclaimed, tactful as ever.

"No, really? Maybe it's because I've got a growing, live, 6 pound organism in my womb consuming my food and ruining my curves!" She squealed, before falling on her back, her legs stuck up into the air.

"Oh, Pinkie, you must help me! My bun in the oven is burning and I need it to end!" Her vagina spasmed as her stomach was kicked repeatedly.

"Ohohoe!" Pinkie giggled, "I see! Well, you're lucky I'm a retired abortionist! Lay back, rares!"

Before Rarity could respond, the terrifying and unpredictable pink one leaped upon the table and sucked in a breath of air...

"Ohhhh.....

So, you have a small dilemma 'cause you had to break the rubber

Now you're in hysterics but you just can't stop and blubber

The only thing to do is to endure that one procedure

A solution very simple to end your fetal facer!

Maybe at the stallion banquet, you took more than your fair portion

Now your belly's swelling and it's killing your proportions!

But don't you worry, your life won't be driven to distortion!

Just step right up cause Pinkies gonna give you an abortion!

Babies are so cute but they're a pain in the patootie

And honestly having a foal is really kinda super-fruity

Plus frankly brand new mommies can be kind of smug and snootie

So bend over and let me rip that brat out of your bootie!

You don't need to worry because nobody will blame you

I've had abortions, so has Twilight and Fluttershy's had two

Plus it's a vital service that helps ponyville, who new?

Where do you think that you, my dear, get all that fancy glue?

WHEEE!"

Pinkie's chest heaved, her arms thrown up into the air in wonder, after singing her abortion number.

"Right, you fat fuck, get on to the table. I'll go get the screwdriver."

Rarity's complexion changed from white to peckerwood within milliseconds.

In that moment she learned a valuable lesson.

Eating the baby was a better decision.

so randum!!!!!!!!!!#!!!1

"Oh, Rarit-yyyyyyy!" Pinkie Pie sang, her voice adopting a high, sing-song tone, "I see the table! I don't see your fat ass on it!

The mare in accusation was frozen on the spot, eyelids twitching visibly, a violent tremor possessing her body at the suggestion of the screwdriver, "M-my dear, my darling Pinkie... Perhaps a non-mechanical tool may be more... fitting?"

"SILLY!" Pinkie shouted, an audible shriek of surprise emitted from Rarity's womb shortly after, followed by kicks and punches, resulting in the seamstress falling on the table involuntarily anyway.

Pinkie trotted over to her, the jolly smile ever present yet contorting into a slightly more sinister, wry smirk as she reduced the distance between them, "That's why I'm the baker and you're not... Wait, no, that's why you're the patient and I'm the doctor? Uhhm... That's why I wear the apron and you inhale the sleeping gas? No, no, that's why I'm the one with the sharp, pointy objects and you're the one on the table? Or maybe..." She continued to babble on endlessly, unaware of Rarity's unconscious state.

Her lower torso protruded crudely, her back legs lifted slightly of the wooden table, resulting in her resembling a starved walrus. As Pinkie's verbal diarrhea continued, Raripon3's eye fluttered open slightly, moving to glance up at her makeshift surgeon.

"NO, NO, WAIT! That's why I'm the one with a history of medical education and you're the fashionista!" Pinkie triumphantly declared, hitting the nail on the head, finally, "Now, I'm not going to bullshit you, this will hurt a lot and since I don't have any painkillers at the moment, you'll probably just pass out soon in anyway, so it works out well for both of us!" An inappropriately large grin stretched her mouth as her words sunk in.

"I-I... WA-YAH!" Suddenly, she unleashed a godly walrus slap upon Pinkie's face, stunning her immediately.

Rariatheist wobbled herself off the table. As soon as her hooves came into contact with the floor, an audible squelch followed, signaling that her water had broke, "Celestia on a bicycle... It's... It's coming!"

"Oh, no, it isn't! C'mere!" The shrill voice of the pink one startled Rarinihilist, though she had no time to calm herself, as her demented friend stood up and started walking towards her, screwdriver in mouth. In response, Rariedge proceeded to roll over repeatedly, trying to gain distance from the psychotic baker, her stomach pulsating in pain.

In one swift move of FaZe, Pinkie jumped and straddle Rarieuphoria's legs, pinning them to the point of immobilization. Removing the screwdriver from her mouth, she took it in both hooves and plunged down mightily into her womb, ripping and rending, tearing flesh. Raraenlightenedbyintelligence screamed in raw terror, provoking no restraint from her assaulter. As she cut deeper, the bone quickly made itself visible.

"A nigga got no tiem for bone," she asserted, before bringing her hoof down and smashing them into pieces, causing more screams of rage from the vulnerable Raranoneedforphonygod. After a few more excruciating seconds of torture, Rarity heard an infantile scream. Yes, somehow, the baby had survived without so much as a cut.

The long, malnourished newborn was alive and loud, dangling from Pinkie's grip. Before she could react however, the smooth skulled, large boned creature began to speak.

"Ayy lmao"