We're Still Sinners

by MemoryLane

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 15744

Short, amusing slice of life stories about the Seven Deadly Sin ponies and their less-than-normal lives in Ponyville. Yep, things tend to get weird a lot.

After saving Canterlot with help of Twilight and her friends, the Seven Deadly Sin ponies finally decide to bunker down in Ponyville, with their new-found acquaintances.

A worse decision could not have been made. Things tend to get weird between them.

***

Highly recommended that Sin be read first. But it's not absolutely necessary.

These are simply slice of life shorts about the Seven Deadly Sin ponies, and their lives.

I'm going to have so much fun with this. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Looking for coverart(will be your best friend)

Published 2014-10-16 13:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-04 19:39:07 UTC

Ch. 1: Twilight and Aphrodite Go On a Date

“Are you ready?”

“Aphrodite, please don’t ask me that.”

“You know, most ponies would be thrilled at this opportunity. I know I am.”

Twilight sighed, and every fiber in her being wished that some sort of apocalypse would form out of midair.

Why she had made the bet, she didn’t know. Perhaps she just had a hunch that she would have been correct. Maybe she was just up for a little silly competition. In the end, she was regretting it entirely. She never should have agreed. Who knew that Aphrodite, could in fact, eat six jelly sandwiches in six minutes?

“Our reservations are in twenty minutes, honey!” Aphrodite called from the other side of Twilight’s door. She had been waiting there for the last hour, cooing to her in that seductive manner that Twilight knew and disliked so much. “Don’t want to be late! After all, I won this night fair and square,” she purred.

It was no secret that Aphrodite had a thing for Twilight. Although, Twilight wasn’t even sure it was a thing anymore considering that Aphrodite had tried lure her into bed at least three times a day. Upon making the bet, Twilight didn’t pay all too much attention to what her demands were, should she win. Twilight already knew that Aphrodite was not the mare to eat six jelly sandwiches in a row.

So, now, Twilight had to act like an adult. She and Aphrodite had to go on a date. That was Aphrodite’s wish. Twilight wasn’t exactly one to break promises or rules should the outcome not rule in her favor. She was true to her word.

This was why Twilight was wearing a purple, star spotted dress. This was also why the unicorn felt like crying.

“I… I’ll be ready in a minute…” Twilight called. Aphrodite squealed in excitement, a sound that threatened to blow out Twilight’s ear drums.

“Good! I can’t wait to see you in that dress I picked out!” Yes, it’s true. Aphrodite had picked out a dress for Twilight to wear. Aphrodite, before the bet, had stated, “You must go on an actual date with me, whatever that may entail.” Twilight didn’t expect to be wearing a dress this short and skimpy. It made her self-conscious.

Twilight’s mane looked fairly normal, as she deemed that she really didn’t need to do anything for it. It’s not like this was an actual date, anyways. She had already had a plan for the night: sit down at some fancy restaurant, eat, and leave. It was foolproof. Honestly, she wanted to get this date done and over with. She had things to do the next morning. She turned her head in the mirror on the vanity in her room. The star-shaped earrings shone impressively bright in the light.

Another knock. “Twiiiiii~. Are you ready yet?” She could hear thumping noises just outside the doorway. Perhaps Aphrodite was doing some sort of excited little dance.

Twilight sighed. She couldn’t hide in her room forever. “I’m coming…” With this, Twilight forlornly slogged towards the door. When she opened it, she was face to face with the overly sexual mare who did this to her.

Aphrodite herself was a runway model, and when Twilight laid eyes on her, this fact proved itself. Make-up adorned her face, including blush, cherry red lipstick, and some light blue eye liner. She wore a dress that matched the color of her eyes, as well as the color of the untouched sky. Large, circular hoop earrings hung daintily from both of her ears, perked upwards with excitement. Her mane, which was already exceptionally lush and curly, looked absolutely spectacular. Somehow, her mane appeared to double in length. Like Twilight’s, her dress was unnecessarily short. If she tried to adjust her view, she could’ve caught glimpses of Aphrodite that she never would’ve liked to see. Twilight wondered how long Aphrodite had been planning to wear that outfit.

“Well…” Twilight said, her voice unsure. “You look… prepared.”

Aphrodite nodded. Her breath smelled like assorted fruits. “Ooh, and you look good enough to eat!” Aphrodite, just in case Twilight hadn’t gotten her hidden point, winked. The date hadn’t started yet, and already Twilight was uncomfortable. “Come on, we’re running late! This is my night. And believe you me, I’m going to make it one to remember.”

Twilight gulped.

Aphrodite grasped Twilight’s hoof. The latter blushed. Twilight was not a fillyfooler. Unfortunately, those in town would have other thoughts should she be roaming around town in such a manner. She decided to simply suck it up. She lost the bet, fair and square.

They met up with Spike in the foyer. Unfortunately, the poor moment the baby dragon laid eyes upon the two of them, he almost fainted. “W-Whoa!” Aphrodite giggled, while Twilight rolled her eyes at Spike.

“Really, Spike?” she muttered. She wished that Spike would do the sensible thing and not egg Aphrodite on. Oh well.

“I’m sorry, but… wow! You two look great!” Spike exclaimed. Twilight could practically see Spike’s tiny heart thumping away in his chest.

“Isn’t he a charmer?” Aphrodite purred. She gave a Twilight a sensual glance. Twilight barely paid attention, but when Aphrodite put a hoof on her shoulder, that was when she found herself scootching away. She didn’t enjoy Aphrodite’s touch for many reasons. That time in the Changeling nest was still etched into her mind.

“Thanks, Spike. We’ll be back later…” Twilight was ready to leave, to get the night over with.

“When will you be coming home?” The baby dragon asked with round eyes.

Aphrodite smirked. Twilight didn’t like the look of it. It was as if the horny mare was plotting something. The simple thought of that sent chills up Twilight’s spine. “We’ll just have to see. Who knows? We might be coming way later than you’d think~.” Spike cocked an eyebrow. Twilight shot Aphrodite the best death stare she could manage. Somehow, Aphrodite failed to notice it.

“Let’s go.” Twilight, with no other prompting needed, forcibly shoved Aphrodite out the door.

“Oooh, feisty,” Aphrodite murmured, not resisting in the slightest. “That’s what turns me on abou-”

SLAM.

***

Twilight had been grumbling for ten minutes. That’s how long it had been since the two of them had left the library.

The same smile had been stamped on Aphrodite’s face the entire time. It absolutely puzzled Twilight how a mare could be so excited for a single date that wasn’t going to lead anywhere anyways. Maybe Twilight was secretly doing Aphrodite a service, doing something that Aphrodite really wished and craved for. Perhaps this date was just a simulation for if they were actually dating like Aphrodite was probably hoping for.

That, or Aphrodite wanted her in bed.

Yep. It was probably that.

It wasn’t long before Twilight and Aphrodite were walking inside one of the newer fancy restaurants in town, “Bonne Baise Alimentaire”. It had taken Twilight a minute to remember that the restaurant actually existed. It was built only a month ago, but Twilight never checked it out as she had nopony to go with. Save for Rarity, none of her friends found the eatery appealing. Rarity had talked about making plans, but she had been busy as of recent with her work.

The building was incredibly fancy. Small chandeliers hung over each and every white-topped table. The walls were painted like a mosaic, depicting some romantic city Twilight couldn't exactly name. Classical music was playing softly over the radio. Along the walls were spindly ivy branches that stretched around the entire room.

It was your stereotypical fancy restaurant. Twilight wasn’t very impressed. However, almost all of the tables were occupied, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

“Table for Aphrodite, monsieur.” Aphrodite gave Twilight an old glance, like she was gazing at her lover. Twilight tried her best to ignore it.

The waiter looked through a small notebook located behind the stand in front of him. He had a mustache, as well as an accent. “Oh! The table for Romance” The waiter shut the notebook, making a noise louder than necessary. Twilight jumped at the sound. Aphrodite didn’t move a muscle. “Please, follow me.”

In short, Twilight was lead to nothing more than a table, on an elevated platform, in the middle of the room. It was almost the exact same as the rest of the tables in the eatery. Even the decorations that adorned the middle of the table were similar. There was nothing romantic about the table at all, save for the fact that they were visible by every single pony in the restaurant from the higher position.

There were ponies she knew in that restaurant.

They gave her funny looks when Aphrodite tried to kiss Twilight’s cheek before they sat down. Twilight shooed her away, and quickly took her seat trying to cover her face with the menu. Aphrodite smirked, not letting the rejection get to her. The waiter exclaimed that he’d be back with refreshments, and briskly left the scene.

“This place is kind of cheesy,” Twilight admitted, still holding the menu in front of her face. “Why did you pick this place?”

Aphrodite shrugged. “I want this to be a night to remember.” She bore a devilish grin, and opened her menu absently. “This seemed like the perfect place…”

“Aphrodite, are you sure about this?” Twilight asked. She shifted her body on her chair. “Can I at least change out of this outfit? It’s so tight and revealing…” she said dejectedly. Twilight died a little inside when Aphrodite licked her lips.

“Why do you think I made you wear it? It hugs your body in just the right manner. I mean, you should feel prideful. Most ponies can’t fit into that size dress.” Aphrodite opened her own menu, and began to skim it. Her eyes were glazed over, however, as if she were thinking about something else. Twilight already had a good idea of what it was. She didn’t represent Lust for nothing.

“But I just don’t feel comfortable.” Twilight heaved a sigh, and actually began to poke through the menu itself.

“Comfortable? Who needs it? Right now, I have the best view in the whole place.” Aphrodite batted her long eyelashes. “When this is all over, you can take it off, and never have to wear again.”

“Good. This just doesn’t-”

“In fact, you won’t have to wear anything ever again. Well, except me.” Twilight’s heart dropped. “Or if you’d rather be submissive, that works too. I’ve had fantasies of both. It’s hot, dirty, fillyfoolery at it’s finest, to me. I would gladly buck you silly for little to nothing in return. Did you know that there are plenty more uses for that horn of yours that I've been dying to try out?”

The room had gotten horribly quiet at the exact moment Aphrodite said what she said. Now, most of the ponies in the restaurant were staring at the two of them. A few ponies had their mouths parted in disgust, while a few stallions were adjusting the napkins on their laps awkwardly. Twilight's face grew the color of a cherry. Before things got worse, Twilight went back to holding the menu directly in front of her face. For some reason, Aphrodite didn’t take notice, and bore an accomplished grin. Perhaps she thought Twilight was rendered speechless at the mere thought of what she said.

Twilight wanted to slither into a hole and die. Luckily, the waiter had returned with their drinks.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Not y-”

“Yes, I am.” Aphrodite kept her menu open, for some reason. “How about some of the Crème brûlée?” Twilight rolled her eyes. So far, Twilight could honestly admit that she wasn’t having a good time. Or could she? Twilight was stuck deciding how she was feeling.

“I’m sorry, we don’t serve that.”

“Oh,” Aphrodite said, looking back down at the menu. “How about some Coq au vin?"

“Sorry, miss. We do not have that either.”

“Do you have any Phoque?”

“No.”

Aphrodite sighed. “Alright, I’ll just have some tossed salad.” Twilight didn’t know what she wanted, so to save time, she asked for the same thing. “Thank you, monsieur,” Aphrodite said. With a slight nod of the head, the waiter grabbed the menus, and sauntered off towards the kitchen. There was a brief pause, which was to be expected. Every date had those moments. Truthfully, Twilight was getting frustrated with herself for continuing to think of it all as an actual date. Using her magic, she brought her water glass to her lips.

“Look, Aphrodite, this is nice and all… but I hope you still know that I’m straight, and not interested in you the way you were hoping.” Twilight had told the mare this a hundred times, but she deemed it a good time to do it once more. She hated the fact that she was involuntarily leading Aphrodite on. After all, it must’ve been a horrid feeling to like someone who didn’t like you back.

“I know,” Aphrodite murmured. Her smile faltered for a moment. “But, it’s still nice to spend time with you. And even if we’re not together sexually, doesn’t mean I can’t name one of my toys after you and play pretend.” Twilight frowned. Why did the thought of that creep her out so much? Twilight had long ago learned not to respond to any of Aphrodite’s come-ons. They only tended to land her in more of them. Aphrodite was crazy good at thinking on the spot.

“Just please understand, alright?” Twilight replied, setting her drink back down on the table. She looked Aphrodite in her eyes, almost catching the mare off guard. “Think about it. How many times do you hit on me each day?”

“A lot. And it’s because, well, I think you’re a pretty damn good looking mare.” Twilight must’ve appeared taken aback, because Aphrodite leaned forward a little bit. Her words became whispery, alluring. “You don’t know, Twilight? You really don’t know what you do to a mare?”

Twilight put a hoof on her chest. “Pardon me?”

“Magic isn’t your only talent, Twilight,” said Aphrodite. “The talent to get a mare like me going. I’ve been trying my best to keep my sin at bay, but you’re just not helping me out--the way you strut yourself around the library...pffft.”

Twilight reddened, but unfortunately she didn’t quite agree or know how to respond. “I... I’m not some floozy! I’m saving myself... for a stallion.”

“Uh huh,” Aphrodite nodded, eyes beaming. Twilight’s cheeks were beginning to flare for a different reason.

“It’s true. This is borderline harassment, you know. Can’t you just… I don’t know… is there anypony else you take an interest in?” Twilight was grasping at straws. For some reason, she just couldn’t understand why someone was in love with her. Twilight never exactly viewed herself as somepony particularly beautiful or tempting. In fact, she hadn’t thought about herself at all. While she had always been a mare to prepare for something meager to most ponies like a test, or a study session, she never stopped to think about her future--and who she would possibly spend it with.

“Believe me, I’ve looked. And the answer is no. You’re at the top of my list, sweetie.” Aphrodite took another sip of her drink. The fountain in the corner of the room sprang to life, filling the room with the sound of running water. Strangely, the sound threatened to calm Twilight down. “I don’t know why you don’t just give in. Sexuality is only a reason why not. I mean… have you ever tried a mare? Or a stallion, yet even?”

Twilight’s eye twitched. “I… no! But that doesn’t mean… I know what I want, Aphrodite.” The mare in question simply shrugged, indifferently.

“That’s alright. When I was younger, I was the same way too. Grew up thinking that maybe I’d have a family of my own some day, settle down.” Another sip. Aphrodite’s voice was getting less and less sexual.

“Then why don’t you?” Twilight asked with a small cock of her head.

“I’m not sure,” Aphrodite explained. “I realized that I was bisexual, and now I’m not too sure if I’ll be able to even have a family. It depends on my future. Depends on who I’ll come to love.” Aphrodite shrugged. For a moment, her eyes returned to to it’s glassy state. Before the mare could zone out, she snapped back to reality. “But I don’t worry about it too much. Kind of wasted all my energy thinking about it.”

Truth be told, Twilight had never thought about the possibility of having a child. She had rarely ever thought about having a coltfriend. The lavender unicorn barely even felt the need for one. Twilight’s heart dropped. “Hey, Aphrodite, did you always want to be a model?”

Aphrodite simply stared at Twilight, as if she had just asked the world’s stupidest question. There was a short pause before Aphrodite answered. “No. I only work as a model because, well, look at me. I can’t have these looks and not show it off. Besides, I get to meet ponies, and go places. It was pretty spectacular.”

Now, this was starting to feel like an actual date to Twilight. “Did you always want to be a model, though?”

“Not at all.”

At the lack of an answer, Twilight felt pressured to say something. Aphrodite simply stared at her. “So… what did you want to do?”

Aphrodite shrugged. “Same as everypony else. Just kind of live life. The only difference was that I liked the kinkier side of it. What about you? Did you always want to be a sexy librarian and every mare’s wet dream?”

Twilight ignored the last part. “Well, I do love books…” Twilight said simply. Aphrodite bit the inside of her mouth. Neither of them noticed when the waiter came and set their salads down on the table. The two absentmindedly grabbed their food, a fork, and ate as they spoke. Twilight was antsy. She rubbed her right hind leg on the stand underneath the table. Aphrodite’s ears flicked.

“So what did you do back in Las Pegasus?” Twilight asked. Aphrodite didn’t appear to understand. “We met up in that dance club in Las Pegasus before the Changeling war. Besides model, did you do anything else?”

“Oh. Well, that club was called “The Alleyway”, for obvious reasons. It was a popular hangout for me. Meet somepony new, bring them to my place, sex, wake up and they’re gone, start over. I didn’t really vary what I did. Las Pegasus was meant for getting into trouble. So naturally, the only thing I would do there was get into trouble.” She took a small bite of her salad, and chewed carefully before continuing to speak.

“‘Life of the Party’ kind of lifestyle, hm?” Twilight added.

“Basically. I mean, I grew up in Dodge Junction. There was absolutely nothing to do there. So, when I moved out to Las Pegasus, you know what happened,” Aphrodite said.

Ever since Aphrodite moved in with Twilight three weeks ago, one month since the Changeling war, this was the first real conversation that they’d had. Twilight was trying to think too much about it. She only really just wanted to learn more about Aphrodite. She didn’t know all that much, and it embarrassed her to admit it.

“I was born in Canterlot, so I was kind of the opposite.” Twilight took a bite of her salad, and almost moaned in delight. It tasted heavenly. She was glad that she didn’t utter a sound, lest Aphrodite get riled up again. “Traveling from a big city to a smaller town really changes the way you behave and the ponies you consider your friends.”

Twilight kept rubbing against the table stand. Meanwhile, Aphrodite cleared her throat. She looked a little distracted, but Twilight didn’t worry about it.

“Truer words have never been said, Twilight,” Aphrodite nodded. “I’m personally happy that you came into my life that day in Las Pegasus. You got me out of there, you let me stay with you here in a quieter town, you helped me make more friends that I would have ever thought possible. Being the Attribute of Lust may be unfortunate, but look where I am now.”

“We’re all glad,” Twilight said. Wait, was something tickling her hind leg? Nah. Just her imagination. “You’re a good mare. You deserve something good in your life.”

Aphrodite broke eye contact from Twilight, and scoffed. She picked her fork through her salad. “You’re telling me.”

There. Twilight didn’t mistake it that time. “Are you touching me?” she asked, bending down to look underneath the tablecloth. It was at that moment that she realized that the table didn’t have a stand. It had four legs.

Twilight was rubbing her leg against Aphrodite, who was now beginning to play “hoofsie” with her. Slowly and methodically.

Twilight’s eye twitched. The restaurant was soon filled with Aphrodite's playful giggles.

***

After Twilight had informed Aphrodite of her strict “no touching” rule, things calmed down. The two spent the better half of two hours talking, having finished their meals way earlier. They talked about their hobbies, their favorite books and movies, and anything that came to mind. It was strange. Twilight didn’t expect to find somepony to be able to talk to that way. Much less Aphrodite.

The mare was odd, that was for sure. But she had a heart, and Twilight appreciated that.

Somewhere around 11 o’clock, near closing time, the two paid their bill and left the restaurant and started to walk home.

“I’d rather not go to that place ever again,” Twilight said, rather suddenly and after a pause in their conversation. Aphrodite turned to look at her, appalled.

“But that’s my favorite new place to eat!" she whined, cutely. "What was wrong with it?" Twilight just shrugged.

“The waiter was kind of a jerk. He treated me like I was a monumental idiot the whole time. The inside of that place was so… unoriginal, and overdone. The “romance table” was kind of a joke. Though, I will admit, the salad was pretty good.” They weren’t that far away from home, now. But for some reason, Twilight was walking a little bit slower than usual.

“I guess you’re right.” Aphrodite sighed. “If we ever decide to do this again, you choose the venue.”

Next time?

“Aphrodite, I wouldn’t mind hanging out, or going out to eat with you at all. But, let’s not call it a date.” Twilight gave Aphrodite a brand new smile. An appreciative one. Aphrodite grinned back, kindly.

“I’d love that.”

The two approached the door of Ponyville Library. The lights were left on inside, even though Spike was most surely asleep. The two turned and faced each other, their faces shining in the wake of the single light the front door gave off. Twilight realized the position that she just put herself into. She gulped when Aphrodite opened her mouth.

“Could I… give you a kiss goodnight?” Aphrodite asked. Her face was soft, and meaningful--frightfully innocent. Twilight’s cheeks flared yet again.

“I… I’m still not into mares, Aphrodite. Uhm… sorry, but no.” Weird. What was that strange tugging feeling inside of her? It was most likely telling her to hurry up and get inside the library door. Twilight turned away from Aphrodite for just a brief moment to get inside.

Big mistake.

Without warning, Aphrodite tackled Twilight to the ground, and began kissing her all over her face. Smooches here, smooches there. Many made connections to her lips and ears, all while Twilight was flailing on the ground like a drowning pony. “I love you, Twilight! I want you right now!”

Twilight, using her magic, picked Aphrodite up off of her. Aphrodite kicked the air desperately, trying to get out of Twilight’s spell. “Come on! Just one actual kiss? Please? I won’t tell anyone I swear!”

“You have got to be kidding me! And to think…Ugh!” Twilight spat the taste of mare out of her mouth. She ran inside the house, letting Aphrodite free. Though, Aphrodite wasn’t able to get through the door before Twilight shut and locked it behind her.

Aphrodite was locked outside.

A few moments passed by. She knocked. “Twilight? Could you let me in?”

No response. Another knock. “Twilight? It was just a joke! Let me in!”

The lights inside the library turned off.

Aphrodite slept outside that night.

Author's Note

Here is just one of the many Seven Sin Shorts!

There's more laughs, more tears, more screams to come soon!

Feedback and comments are very much appreciated.

Got an idea for a short? Let me know! Maybe it'll be the next installment!

-Cyneryk

PS. thanks for AGenericCarrot for proof-reading.

Ch. 2: The Seven Deadly Sins Play Dungeons and Dragons

“This is the stupidest thing I have ever done,” Covette said, fore legs crossed and slouching in her chair. “Ennui, you’re an idiot.”

“That’s no way to talk to your Dungeon Master,” Ennui replied. On top of her head, sat a wizard’s hat. She was busy organizing her papers, notes, and setting up a large trifold that faced away from the other six ponies gathered around her.

“What does that even mean?” Warble asked, staring at her from across the circular table. As well as Ennui, the rest of the sins and he also had small notecards and pieces of paper in front of them, as well as a few different kinds of dice. An exasperated sigh made itself clear through Cashmere’s large dining room, where the game of Dungeons and Dragons was about to take place.

And to think, it only took two hours to get ready, as well as to convince everyone that it was not a waste of their “valuable” time. “It means you listen to what I say,” Ennui replied. Warble cocked an eyebrow, and turned back to his notes.

“What’s the point of this game?” Cashmere asked, seated next to Vanity. “I mean, it’s nice that you could all join me in my mansion, but isn’t there something else we could do as friends?”

“No,” Ennui deadpanned. “This is the perfect way for us to bond, as well as complete some badass quests and learn and stuff.” Ennui paused. “Just do it once!”

“I don’t think so,” Covette said, rubbing her temples. Ennui frowned, and Vanity shot Covette a death glare. The envious mare took notice, and sighed. “Fine, as long as it ends quickly.”

“Good! I’ve planned this out so it takes roughly an hour or so. Though, my games with my buds sometimes take all day. Either way, you’re staying. Get comfy!” Ennui grinned, lazily. Her white mane shifted every time she moved her head.

Aphrodite looked at her notes, absolutely perplexed. She had totally been up for hanging out with the six of them, but she didn’t quite expect this. In fact, she was expecting something else entirely at the mention of “dungeons”. She raised her hoof. “So, in this game… can you do anything you want?” she asked. Covette rolled her eyes, and sat up in her chair.

“As long as you make the roll, and your stats match up, yes.” Ennui was almost finished with her notes. Aphrodite beamed, as if something had just popped into her head.

“Celestia dammit, I could actually be doing work right about now. It’s two in the evening,” mumbled Kindling. It had taken Ennui a lot of effort to get both him and Covette through Cashmere’s door. She had to resort to using… harsh means, to get them to come. In short, threats of secrets Ennui had figured out about them after a few hours of spying and snooping.

“Just humor her, please,” Vanity pleaded from the front of the table, next to Ennui. She was seated directly across from him. “I’m sure it’ll be… fun.” She said the words with uncertainty, but Ennui didn’t seem to notice. She simply stopped paying attention when Vanity started talking.

“I’m not too sure about this,” said Warble.

“I’m not a big fan of games in general,” Kindling huffed. Vanity pursed her lips. Even though Vanity and Ennui were good friends, Ennui was getting incredibly lonely. Or, at least, that’s what it appeared to Vanity. When Ennui said she wanted to get a group together for one of her silly games, Vanity couldn’t say no. What could go wrong?

“You all have your stats and whatnot figured out, right?” Ennui asked. The entirety of the group nodded. While most Dungeon and Dragon games consisted of characters, the six came to the agreement that they shouldn’t make this confusing and just use their names instead as the names for their characters. “Good! First, pick your class.”

From underneath the table, Ennui produced a large top hat. Previously, the mare had cut up six slips of random classes and tossed them into a hat. She gave it to the pony to her left, Vanity, as Ennui finished inspecting the last of her notes.

“Classes?” Vanity asked, holding the hat.

“They describe your abilities, and your stat growth. Just do it, we’re on a tight schedule,” Ennui said, waving a hoof in Vanity’s direction. The prideful mare shrugged, reached into a hat, and pulled out a slip of paper.

“Barbarian.” Covette held back a small snicker. “I don’t know what that entails, but let me pick again!” Vanity frowned, and Ennui shook her head.

“Nope! You’re a barbarian! They’re strong. They’re one of the best melee classes. Pass the hat to Cashmere.” Vanity being labeled a “barbarian” didn’t sit quite well with her. But she passed the hat along anyways. It made its way around the table.

“Fighter,” Cashmere read. He looked towards Ennui. “Can I be be a knight?”

Ennui nodded. “Yep, sure. You’re a fighter, you can fight however you wish. For the first time since everypony entered his mansion, Cashmere grinned. He passed the hat over, to Warble.

Warble reached into the hat, swished the remaining four slips around, and pulled one out a minute later. “Cleric,” he said. “What’s that?”

“Kind of like a healer. You can heal yourself, others, as well as fight. A rounded out class, really. Also, you can raise the dead, or resurrect,” Ennui explained. Warble looked down at his notes, then to the slip of paper, and then back again. He sighed, and passed the hat to the next pony: Aphrodite.

The mare actually grabbed the hat from him. Unknown to everypony else, Aphrodite was actually somewhat excited to get the game started. She was always up for new things. Besides, she had heard Ennui mention it before. She reached inside and pulled out one of the remaining three slips of paper. “Sorceress. So, like a wizard, or a unicorn?”

“Basically. You can use magic and cast spells and stuff.”

“Oooh…” Aphrodite murmured, and slid the hat over to Covette.

For a moment, everypony just looked at her. Covette didn’t pick up the hat. She just glared at it, as if it had killed her cat. Eventually, she gave in, grabbed the hat, and picked a slip out of it. “Rogue. Sounds badass,” she admitted. She crumpled up the paper, and tossed it behind her. Cashmere stared at her, as if he was telling her with his eyes, “You better pick that up.”

Kindling was last. He really had no choice. The older stallion was stuck with whatever was left. He reached in and pulled it out. “Bard,” he said. “The heck is that?”

“It’s like a singer, or artist. They’re a buff class that helps support everyone else.”

Kindling just stared, and said absolutely nothing. He just didn’t know what to say. Before he had a chance to throw a fit, Ennui spoke up again. “There, now we have our classes all picked out. The stats and whatnot should be listed on the guide I handed out. Are we all ready to begin?”

A few ponies nodded.

In an alternate Equestria, it was a normal day. Swordsman were working in their shops, merchants were selling items and potions at their stands, and citizens of ancient Canterlot were roaming the streets. It was a warm day, just over ninety-three degrees, with occasional clouds passing over the sun. But the six adventurers couldn’t tell. Deep inside the Bad Apple Bar, they loitered about, having drinks and telling tales of their nefarious quests-

“I don’t drink,” Warble said, interrupting Ennui’s story. Ennui furrowed her brow. Most of the ponies at the table didn’t even know how to play, and even they looked at him like he was being an idiot.

“Did you not hear me? ‘Drinking and telling tales’. You don’t have to be drinking, Warble.” Warble let out an “oh”, and sat back in his seat. Ennui waited a moment, staring at him, before continuing.

Everything was calm among them, and the other patrons of the bar. But then something happened. Something that would change the lives of those six ponies forever. A stallion entered the bar, asking for help.

“Help, please. I’m desperate! I’m in need of adventurers!” he said, his eyes wide with worry.

“Can I ask him what’s wrong?” asked Cashmere. Ennui nodded, and flipped over a card.

The stallion turned to look at the Fighter, Cashmere. “My precious jewel, my family heirloom, lost! Someone stole it, ran away with it! It means the world to me.”

“How can we help?” asked Vanity. Covette found it her place to open her mouth.

“A jewel, you say?” Her ears perked up. Even though there was actually no jewel involved, Covette just couldn’t ignore riches. Much to her disdain, Cashmere also appeared to already be taking an interest.

“Yes! My jewel! I really need it back! I’ll reward you handsomely,” the stallion said, with tears in his eyes. “I need at least six adventurers. I believe my brother, Mustachio, took it!”

“Ennui, really? Are you kidding? Mustachio?” Vanity asked. Ennui ignored her.

“He might have taken it to the Everfree Forest, where he lives. I’m not strong enough to confront him myself. Could you help me?” he said. Do you help the stallion? Please come to a unanimous decision.

Everypony answered “yes”. Though Kindling looked like he was getting more and more irritated by the minute.

Everyone agreed. The stallion looked at each and every one of them, and thanked them with excited eyes. “Thank you! Thank you so much! Please leave immediately, as in two days time the Everfree Forest goes through its shift, where it’s too dark and dangerous to travel.” You are all now apart of a new mission. Although, someone is going to be the decision-maker of the group. Everypony take out your twenty-sided die and roll. Highest number is leader.

There was a small silence, before everypony took in just what Ennui said. Each pony picked up their twenty-sided die and rolled it simultaneously. Ennui leaned over the table to document the results.

Vanity rolled a 4.

Cashmere rolled a 17.

Warble rolled an 7.

Covette rolled a 9,

Kindling also rolled a 4.

Aphrodite rolled a perfect 20.

“Wow. A natural twenty. That’s… impressive,” Ennui admitted. Aphrodite flipped her mane back, and grinned.

“It’s all in the way you use your hooves.”

A small silence, before Ennui decided to continue. She flipped through a few more cards.

The Sorceress, Aphrodite, was chosen to be leader because of her magical prowess, and higher intellect. It was only to be expected, after all. As well as the… fact… that she’s a gorgeous… uhm.. sorceress...

Truthfully, Ennui hadn’t expected anypony to roll a perfect 20 in the first roll. She struggled to come up with a reason why Aphrodite would be a good leader. She fumbled over her words. Vanity simply frowned in her direction. Aphrodite smirked, and flicked her tail.

Now that the leader had been chosen, t’was time to adventure forth. They left the bar moments later, leaving the helpless stallion behind, praying for results. Since this mission could indeed be their last, they turned to their bard to keep up their morale on the road. Alright, Kindling, sing your party a song.

Kindling, who hadn’t expected to hear his name, did a double take. “Wait, huh? Sing a song?”

“Yes, Kindling. You’re a bard. You’re an artist. Therefore, you sing. So, sing your party a song as they all head out on their mission. Keep their spirits up,” Ennui said. Warble chuckled, and Kindling shot him a stare that shut him up immediately.

“No way! I’m not some kind of clown. I didn’t even choose to be a bard anyways, I was stuck with it!” Kindling argued, his temper slowly beginning to rise. Aphrodite simply grinned.

“As your leader, I suggest you sing, Kindling.” The stallion glared at her, but ended up only sighing.

“Fine.” He took a deep breath. “Go team go. La-dee-dah. Let’s go get some jewel.” Kindling spoke-sang. The rest of the group clapped, only infuriating the stallion further.

“Well, my spirits are definitely higher now after hearing your wonderful voice,” Covette laughed.

The group, now fully rejuvenated, left Canterlot. The trip from there--to Ponyville--and then to the Everfree Forest would be a long and tiring one, so they left early. The wind was blowing gently, but it wasn’t enough to shelter everypony from the heat. For now, it was bearable, though those wearing armor were having troubles. Cashmere, Aphrodite, Warble, roll your twenty sided die. Over 9 determines if you keep your armor on through the game.

Cashmere sighed. Warble frowned. Aphrodite grinned.

Cashmere rolled a 18.

Warble rolled a 10.

Aphrodite rolled a 20.

“Really? Again?” Ennui cleared her throat, looking at Aphrodite. The mare chuckled, taking pride in her own luck.

The heat proved to be nothing, barely slowing any of you down. You kept going, not looking back as you made your way down a dirt trail. It didn’t take long before something stopped them in their tracks. There was an overturned cart in the middle of the path.

Ennui stopped and waited, hoping that somepony would know what to do in this obvious situation. Covette’s ears perked up. While looking through the notes provided to her earlier, she noticed something. “Uh…” she flipped through them, until she came across what she was looking for. “Perception check?”

In order to do a perception check, Covette must roll a 6 or higher.

Covette sighed. She really didn’t wish to play, so she realized that she was only making this harder on herself. She picked up the dice, and rolled it.

8.

Perception check is successful. The cart appeared to be made of wood, one used for hauling around fruits, items, and potions. It was overturned, and unknown if anypony was inside. Though, it was very quiet, and there could be useful items inside. Do you look inside? The Leader must share with me her decision, but you may all still share your opinion.

Warble was the first to speak up, getting more and more into the game. “Why not?” he said. “Free stuff inside.”

“Wait, but she said there could be someone inside. What if we get jumped?” Vanity said, looking at her leader, Aphrodite. The lustful mare appeared to be regretting her decision that being a leader was a good thing.

“But, maybe there isn’t. I don’t wanna skip out on weapons and stuff,” Warble countered.

“And if there’s someone inside,” Kindling started, “We can just beat the Hell out of ‘em and take it anyways. Problem solved.”

“What if there’s more than one of them? I think we should just leave it alone,” said Vanity.

“She’s got a point, but it’s stuff that I want that could possibly be in that cart,” added Covette. Being the Attribute of Envy, none of the other sins expected nothing less.

“The game just started, though,” said Cashmere. “I don’t want to die right when the game just began.” Cashmere turned to Aphrodite. “Surely, you must know of the dangers?”

Aphrodite looked from pony to pony, eyes wide. She was never good at making decisions, and she believed that she may have screwed up somewhere in the last few minutes. “I… uh… can we check inside the cart?” Vanity and Cashmere shook their heads simultaneously.

The leader wished to have the cart inspected. It very well could be a trap. Everyone roll, lowest number checks the cart.

Reluctantly, the group rolled their die. Most of them hoped for a high number, while a few of them were simply indifferent. Aphrodite, once again, rolled a 20. Kindling rolled a 6, the lowest number out of all of them.

“Goddammit,” Kindling grumbled. “Fine, I opened the stupid cart.”

Kindling, the bard, was wisely chosen as the pony to inspect the cart for danger. He walked over to the car, and attempted to flip it over. Unfortunately, the cart was still occupied. A looting bandit was already inside, searching. When Kindling made his presence known, the bandit attacked with a knife. Kindling, roll a reflex save to see if it connects. More than 14.

Kindling totally saw this coming. He rolled with a sigh. 7.

“Oh come on!” he shouted. Ennui snickered, and continued.

The bandit took away half of Kindling’s health with a surprising stab to the abdomen. Before anything could be done, or his fellow team could retaliate, the bandit escaped with a large bag with all the items he found from inside of the cart. He fell to the ground, injured.

“Kindling, no!” Vanity shrieked, eyes wide. Ennui was slightly pleased with how Vanity was getting into the game.

“I’m not actually hurt, you idiot,” Kindling retorted.

“Wait, you said clerics are healers, right? Can I heal him?” Warble asked. Kindling looked towards Ennui, expectantly. Perhaps he really did care about if he lived or died in the game.

Luckily, a cleric was among the adventurers. He sealed Kindling’s wound within moments, and Kindling was ever so grateful, although he’s still in danger. The rusty knife that the bandit used could indeed have been infected. Roll again, Kindling. Aim for over 4 or more.

Kindling rolled again, his face growing tight. 14.

“Finally, something starts going my way,” Kindling said, sitting back in his chair. Covette smirked at the old stallion for some strange reason.

“You’re welcome, Kindling,” Warble said. Kindling only waved a dismissive hoof at him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

After everybody started feeling better, you all checked the cart, and it was empty. The bandit had looted all of it. Disgruntled, you all continue on your way. Luckily, there were no more intrusions or distractions on your way. You make your way to Ponyville a little after four o’clock that day. The heat from the sun began to wane a bit, the air growing cooler with every passing minute. While Ponyville wasn’t as rich or large as Canterlot, it made up for in generosity and hospitality. There were merchants, and families littered around town, milling about.

“Does this town have a brothel?” Aphrodite asked. Everyone turned to stare at her as a few awkward seconds passed by.

“Aphrodite… really?” Vanity asked, her eyebrow cocked. Aphrodite nodded with an expectant grin.

“That’s gross,” Warble muttered, so quietly that almost nopony could hear him.

“As a matter of fact, they do,” Ennui grinned. She flipped through her cards until she found the right one. Everyone was absolutely floored, while Aphrodite’s tail began swinging back and forth.

“Wait a second,” Cashmere interrupted. “You’re trying to tell me that you have a scenario planned out incase we wanted to check out a… a whore house?” He simply stared at Ennui with wide, confused eyes. Little did anypony know that Aphrodite actually slid Ennui about ten bits before the game began. Ennui didn’t know why, but she figured that that had a part in it. She had no role in Aphrodite’s frequent natural 20’s. That stumped her.

“Eeyep,” Ennui gave the rest of the group a lazy grin, like she had planned this all along. Kindling’s eye twitched.

“I-I don’t want to go to the brothel. Why don’t we check out something else? There are merchants. Can’t we stock up on items or something?” Warble asked, desperate. He didn’t feel comfortable going somewhere with that many seductive mares. He felt like if he went, he would be betraying Fluttershy somehow, game or not.

“I’m the leader. I make the decisions around here,” Aphrodite said with a small snicker and a bat of her eyelashes. “It’s a brothel. I’m sure we won’t stay bored for long…”

“You have got to be kidding,” Covette groaned. Although she wasn’t happy, she sat back in her chair in defeat. She wasn’t in the mood to argue with Aphrodite over some stupid game. But Warble had a point, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Brothel’s were gross. Her mane hung limply in front of her face.

Not wasting any time, the adventurers decide that the Ponyville Brothel would be their first destination. After all, they were in need for some… relaxation. Lucky for them, it wasn’t very far from their location. They reach the parlor within minutes. The inside was very old-timey, resembling an old deserted bar. There were ponies drinking on their stools, talking to a waitress, and on the other side of the room was a rickety, worn out stage. There were many dancers lingering about, talking to guests.

“Well, great. Aphrodite, this was your master plan. What next ‘oh-great-leader’?” Kindling snorted. A fire burned inside of his eyes, and he hoped that Aphrodite would have some sort of idea, rather than just trying to get laid in a game. Kindling didn’t put that past her.

“We have a good time,” Aphrodite grinned. The rest of the group groaned.

“I go to the bar and get a drink,” said Covette. “I’ve had enough of this.” Warble chuckled, while Vanity casted them both a dirty glare. Why was it so hard for ponies to just play the game?

Covette, being as tired as she was, decided that getting some alcohol in her veins was a great decision. She wandered over to the bar, and began to pour down some brewskies. Meanwhile, the rest of the group hung around the area.

“Sweet,” Covette smirked. She really was craving some, though, but decided to wait. She didn’t want to miss anything interesting.

When Covette sat down, she heard two dancers speaking next to her. They were talking fairly loudly, so it’s quite impossible to not overhear.

“Did you hear about Tail? About her brother, the stallion with that weird Mustache?” said one dancer.

“Yeah. Hehe, I heard he stole some jewel from his brother, and that the owner is trying desperately to get it back. Tail over there doesn’t know what to do-”

“Wait, so… this Tail… she’s the sister of Mustachio and the guy who gave us our quest? She’s in the brothel?” asked Vanity. She gazed at Aphrodite, who had had the world’s largest grin on her face. Somehow, Aphrodite knew exactly what she was doing.

Covette already knew exactly what to do. “I… uhm, ask them about Mustachio,” she said, her face contorted.

You try to get information from the two dancers. As a rogue, your Charisma is already very high. You must roll a 5 or more.

Covette hated rolling the stupid dice. With a sigh, she rolled. 2.

Speech check failed. The dancers looked at you, cocked their eyebrows, and turned their back to you, rudely. They even laughed a little bit.

Covette’s temper flared. Who cared if this was some kind of game? There was no way she was going to let somepony treat her like she was a joke. “Oh yeah? Well I punch them in their no-good, snotty, piece of sh-”

“Wait!” called Vanity. She looked through a few of her cards, eagerly. “Charisma… the more stats of it you have, the better, right?” Ennui nodded. “Who here has the highest Charisma that isn’t Covette? They’d be able to talk to them and get information.” Vanity may sometimes seem like a ditz, but sometimes Ennui viewed her as a very underestimated mare. She appreciated that about Vanity.

One by one, the seven of them read out their Charisma stats. Oddly enough, everypony did not have good stats. In fact, Covette was the only pony who had a normal than average one. The highest stat happened to belong to Warble, ironically enough.

“I-I’d rather not… I have a marefriend, I shouldn’t even be in there…” Warble argued politely. He put to hooves in front of him, defensively. Ennui didn’t even give him eye contact, but she did let out an annoyed huff. As DM, she wasn’t allowed to interfere.

“Warble, we’ve been playing this game for thirty minutes,” argued Kindling, his face stained red. “That’s 29 minutes more than I would have liked. It’s a game. Fluttershy doesn’t exist in this world.”

“She… doesn’t?” Warble looked like he wanted to cry.

“No! I didn’t mean it like… ugh,” Kindling buried his head in his hooves, his mane hitting the table with a soft “whomp”.

“Warble, just help us out here. You’re not trying to date them. Just talk to them,” said Cashmere. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “Wait, Ennui, are the dancers male or female?”

Ennui’s eyes opened larger than usual. In fact, no pony had ever seen Ennui open her eyes fully, for she was always drowsy looking and tired. When she did, it was a weird experience. “Uhm… I… Erm…”

“Aha!” said Covette. “She doesn’t know, therefore we choose. Warble, you don’t have to talk to two really attractive skanks, you just need to imagine that you’re talking to two barely dressed, homosexual stallions.” As soon as the worlds left Covette’s mouth, she couldn’t stop herself. She reeled her head back, and cackled with laughter. Warble blushed, and gulped.

“Probably why they didn’t take a likening to you, Covette,” added Cashmere, with a devious smirk. Covette ignored him.

Warble must roll over a 10 in for the Speech Check to be successful.

Warble rolled, reluctantly. 17.

Speech Check successful.

“I… uhm… I walk over to the stallions, and.. uhm… I say… ‘what’s up?’” Warble said, in the most awkward manner possible. The other five turned to look at Ennui, eagerly. Surely, she had the perfect response. Every time one of the stallion’s spoke, Ennui would try and act as “gay” as possible. Aphrodite didn’t seem to mind this. In fact, she couldn’t keep herself from twitching her ears.

“Oooh, hey there, big boy,” one of the stallions said to Warble with a toothy smile. He turned to the other dancer, who was shifting femininely in his seat.

“What brings a mighty young cleric to this side of town? Lookin’ for a good time, studmuffin?” said the other stallion. One of the stallion’s moved over, so that way Warble could sit in the middle of them.

Warble was starting to resemble a cherry. He didn’t know how to feel. While it did seem like Ennui was trying to come on to him, she was trying to portray a gay stallion. Warble couldn’t figure out just which one was making him blush so hard. Meanwhile, Covette and Kindling were barely able to contain their laughter. Ennui’s portrayal of a gay stallion was threatening to anger Vanity, but she kept her mouth shut. They were holding onto each other, trying to calm themselves down.

“N-No! I… I over heard you two talking about Tails, and that… erm… situation.”

“Ohoho!” said one of the stallions. “We got ourselves an eavesdropper. Somepony’s naughty, needs to be taught how to behave and not listen in on adult ponies’ conversations.” He looked at the other stallion, as if they were having an inappropriate conversation with their eyes.

“Hmm.. maybe we’ll tell you what you need to do, for a favor…” said the stallion with a wink.

“Ennui, what the Hell, man?” Kindling interrupted, his mouth wide open with horror. Everypony except Warble and Aphrodite were staring at Ennui in disgust. Actually, Aphrodite was excessively squirming in her seat and biting her lip.

“We can’t have Warble do that. It’ll traumatize the kid,” replied Cashmere.

“I don’t get it,” piped Warble. “What, does he want me to grab some groceries for him or something?”

“No, Warble,” Vanity said sullenly. “No.” Warble looked at her with a furrowed brow. “Ennui, you can’t do that. That’s just wrong.”

Ennui, who was not in the mood to argue, groaned loudly. “As the DM, I’m allowed to do whatever I damn well please, thank you very much,” she said. When she received a hard glare from Vanity, she reconsidered life. “Erm, alright, fine.”

“Tails left a while ago. She lives with her brother, over in the Everfree. She works here, after all. Preeeeeetty good dancer, hmm…? Not really my type, though. She’s, like, not even attractive, right?” said one stallion, turning to the other.

“Oh em gee, not even a little bit,” said the other. “I heard she takes house calls though. If you just head down the main path, you’ll find it after a while. Then again, my place would be so much better. Have you ever touched a stallion before?”

“You’re making this really weird,” Cashmere said. Ennui rolled her eyes.

“It’s a story, bro. Chill.”

“You don’t need to be harassing him, though.”

“I’m not.”

“Right…”

Without another word, the two stallions walk away, off to dance gaily for money. They gave Warble air kisses and various winks as they left.

“Well, great. We know exactly where he is. Let’s go beat the shit out of him, and get that Jewel.” Kindling sat up in his chair, his fiery mane whipped around like it was caught in the wind. Aphrodite simply shrugged.

“Let’s all go to the Everfree.”

Covette was going to speak up, and ask about getting weapons and swords, but she deemed that pointless. After all, they were all given predetermined weapons that went with their classes. Covette herself had daggers, Warble had a giant mace, Cashmere had a rapier, Aphrodite had a staff(she was rather excited by this weapon, for some reason), Vanity had an axe, and Kindling had a lyre, and a small hidden dagger underneath his armor. They’d be fine. Covette couldn’t help but wonder what kind of potions there were in this game, but she didn’t feel like asking.

They exited the brothel upon learning their necessary information, they make their way outside. However, their spirits were definitely dwindling after that encounter. The reality that they could all die was setting on them, so they turned to Kindling to lift their spirits. Kindling, please sing and dance for your group.

Kindling’s face grew red. “Oh, what the Hell! No! I did that earlier!” He actually jumped out of his chair.

“Actually, you just sang,” Covette commented with a small smirk. Kindling turned her to her, opened his mouth, paused, then shut it and turned to the rest of the group.

“No! What does this have to do with the game, Ennui? Huh? Tell me what my humiliation does to this group!” Kindling’s rage was reaching a peak. Covette and Ennui, who were seated directly next to him, scooted away quickly.

“Y-You’re livening the spirits of your fellow adventurers!” Ennui replied. She said it as if she was asking a question more so than giving him a clear answer. Kindling roared with anger, cursed loudly, and walked towards the door.

“I’m done with this game!”

SLAM.

They were left with six.

“Well… that sucks,” Warble said, breaking the silence. “Note to self, never ask him to be jolly.”

“Way to go, Ennui,” said Covette with a sigh. “You know what? I’m done with this game too. This is for losers. I’m outta here.” Covette pushed back her chair, and without giving any of the other ponies a second glance, wandered out of the room after Kindling.

“Pffft, that’s fine. They can’t handle this game. Anyone else feel like leaving?” Ennui asked. “I still have so much more planned! I have quicksand, poison pits, monsters, an awesome boss battle!”

Warble raised his hoof. “Oh God, I’m out.” Warble said. “I almost had to give another stallion a favor. I can’t take monsters. This game is too extreme for me. Thanks anyways, Ennui! I appreciate the invite,” He said, getting up out of his chair. Aphrodite started to follow him.

“Yeah, thanks! It’s been fun! We should do this again sometime. Uhm… in the future. I gotta get going. This entire experience gave me a great idea in regards to… erm, things.”

“But wait! It’ll be fun! A-Aphrodite, we can go and have more fun in the brothel!” Ennui, desperate for her friends to stay, jumped on top of the table. What she had told herself in her head she was trying to do was do some kind of alluring dance that mimicked the dancers in the whore house. What she actually did was flail her body in a really, really, weird way.

“Yep. That’s enough for me,” Cashmere said, after taking one look at the dancing mare on the table. “Sorry,”

With this--Warble, Aphrodite, and Cashmere exited the room. Dejected, Ennui sat back in her seat. Vanity put a hoof on her shoulder, shimmying a little closer to the lazy mare.

“Don’t feel bad. They’re just not into that kind of stuff. I actually did have a good time,” said Vanity, a kind smile adorning her lips. Ennui sniffled, and looked Vanity in the eyes.

“You did?” she asked. “But no one wanted to even be here. They left before things got good…”

“I did have a good time. And they didn’t appreciate or know how much this meant to you. I do, though. I’ll play this game with you whenever you need somepony, alright?” Vanity said softly. Ennui’s ears perked up, and she gave Vanity that same sloppy, lazy grin.

But then Cashmere decided to burst back through the door. “Wait, this is my house,” he said.

Ch. 3: Vanity Comes Out Of The Closet

“So…” Vanity started, her eyes glued to the floor of her and Ennui’s new apartment. Her heart was trembling and jumpy, a feeling that she had been trying to get over ever since she had called her closest friends over a few hours ago. Her eyes were full of regret, but her conscience was full of pride, and the necessity to share. “Uhm… you all actually came,” she said, softly.

“Of course!” Fluttershy half-whispered. The rest of the group nodded kindly--Twilight, Aphrodite, Rarity, and Ennui. Though, Ennui was only there because her and Vanity shared the place. The five of them were sitting in a circle in the living room, after having moved the couch. “You said you wanted to talk. We’re always up to listen.”

“We’re your friends. I’m shocked you expected us not to be there for you,” Rarity said, with a wink. Vanity knew she was joking, so she gave her a depressed grin.

“Thanks. It means a lot to me that you all showed, and didn’t just blow this off,” she said, truthfully. In fact, Vanity had originally guessed that only half of the ponies that she invited would show. Right about then, she was wishing that nopony had showed at all. Maybe what she was doing was just dumb. Too late now.

“It’s no problem at all,” Twilight smiled. “I hoped you didn’t mind that I brought Aphrodite. She… erm… wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Vanity didn’t mind Aphrodite. In fact, she respected the lustful mare more than anypony would ever know. Something about her persistence, and way of life piqued her interest. However, that was a fact she would never share.

Meanwhile, Aphrodite was was giving a sensual nod. “True. I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just… well, curious is all.” Aphrodite smirked, but Vanity didn’t know why.

“Next time, if you invite ponies over, tell them to bring refreshments,” Ennui muttered towards Vanity, lazily. Every pony in the circle was sitting on their rump, except for her. Ennui seemed to get a kick being the odd one out, and lying on her stomach. Her white mane littered the rug like streams of party favors. “Can’t have a party without refreshments.”

Vanity really wished that Ennui hadn’t come. Vanity had actually planned the meeting just this morning, after learning that Ennui was going to be out all afternoon at the arcade. Unfortunately, after some kind of accident at the “Video Game Palace”, they were forced to shut down for the day. Ennui came home early, and refused to tell Vanity just what happened there. Vanity had a sneaking suspicion that Ennui was the cause of it. However, no matter how hard she wanted to get irritated, she just couldn’t.

“Ennui, this isn’t a party,” Vanity replied with a sigh. “I wanted to have you all here because… I-I wanted to tell you all something--something about me.” Twilight cocked her head with confusion.

“What is it? You’ve already told us everything about you, I believe,” Twilight said with a grin.

“True,” Ennui added. “Attribute of ‘being full of herself’ here.” Ennui gave Vanity a playful grin, most likely to let her know that she was only joking. Vanity ignored her entirely.

“I’m just going to get it over with. I’ve… been doing some thinking--about me. About who I am, what I am, and what feels normal and right. Uhm… and… well, I decided to tell you all first, before the rest of the Sins and our friends learn that…” Vanity sighed, and she looked even further into the floor. “... that I’m gay”. Vanity’s pride took over. She lifted her head, her eyes no more full of repressed thoughts and identifications. “I’m a fillyfooler.”

“I-I… erm… well… Vanity, wow.” Rarity wasn’t ready to speak when she did. Because of this, her words came out choppy and poorly thought out. “I… wasn’t aware of this earlier.”

Aphrodite looked completely shocked. Her baby blue eyes were wide, and sparkling. Her gaze shifted from Vanity, to Twilight, and back and forth again multiple times. Her ears twitched. Her rump must’ve been getting sore, as she subtly nabbed one of the nearest throw pillows and sat on it.

“How long have you known…?” Fluttershy asked. Even though Vanity was trying very hard not to show her true despair, Fluttershy must’ve caught on. She put a hoof on the mare’s shoulder. Vanity went back to looking at the ground.

Ennui really didn’t seem to care about the situation, or understand why it was such a big deal.

“Uhm… for a few weeks,” she replied truthfully. What she would never spill was that fact that one of her close friends was the one that made her convert, the one that urged her to become gay. Ever since they’re adventure, Vanity had been doing everything in her power to woo her, and win her affection. However, it was in vain. There was no way that Vanity was going to just up and tell her. She was usually flamboyant and proud of who she liked. Though, with her biggest crush now being a mare, she didn’t want to flaunt it around, or even let her know.

“”But… but why?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy and Rarity shot her a look, one that said “watch what you say”. Twilight immediately grew defensive--eyes growing wide when she realized just how her comment could have been perceived. “I mean… why did you convert all of a sudden? Not that I’m against same sex love--”

Aphrodite grinned. Twilight corrected herself. “Well, most of the time.”

Aphrodite frowned.

“Just… because I felt a change in myself, okay?” Vanity said. Her short, pink mane did wonders to cover her eyes. “I just don’t see the appeal in stallions, and find myself wondering and thinking about mares more often than not.” Vanity didn’t technically lie. It wasn’t mares. It was only one.

“Good for you, Vanity, getting it off your chest,” Aphrodite beamed. “It takes guts to be able to come to all of us, and tell us something that isn’t easy to explain.” Vanity smiled back, and was pretty sure it was genuine.

“Thanks,” she uttered. “You’re all my closest friends. And I felt bad knowing that I liked mares, and was hiding it.” Wide smiles encompassed the room, accepting ones that made Vanity no longer feel afraid.

“Don’t worry,” Rarity replied. “We don’t think of you as any different. We still care about you all the same.”

It was at this moment that Aphrodite excused herself for the restroom, seeing as the situation appeared to calm down. She got up, and walked down the hall. The group could hear the door close, but nopony really noticed her disappearance.

“And as long as you don’t try to grope me in the middle of the night, I don’t mind either!” Ennui’s joking grin lit the room on fire. Vanity’s heart fluttered, and she unwillingly flared her cheeks.

“Of course not…” she said. Vanity loved her friends, and she had never expected to find some as good as them. As prideful as she was, she had given up on the concept of friends a long time ago. She had resorted and gotten used to her depressing loneliness. She felt new. She felt absolutely renewed, like she could conquer the world.

But then the feeling was ruined. “Oh, there’s the pillow!” Ennui shouted. She reached across the circle, and grabbed the pillow that Aphrodite was sitting on just moments ago. Not stopping to think, she put the pillow under her, and slung herself face first into it.

SQUELCH.

Ch. 4: Warble Goes to Fat Camp

Warble sat in the front row of the train car. This was his first mistake.

Sounds of loud chatter filled the small space, lighting up the chunky stallion’s ears. He heard joyful cheering and laughter resonated from all over, and it was desperately trying to spread to Warble as well. He bore a small grin, as he stared outside of the window at the passing countryland. Thought Warble sat alone, he was eerily at peace in contrast to the rest of the ponies.

He had a suitcase right next to him, one that Fluttershy had packed for him the morning before. It was full of everything he needed, including an unhealthy amount of snacks--rather than essential items such as a few articles of warm clothing, bug spray, and his toothbrush--should be.

He’d need all the energy he could get. After all, he was going to P.H.A.T Camp, one of the most prestigious and well-known camps in all of Equestria. He had paid two hundred bits for a week full of fun activities such as paintball, arts and crafts, and even swimming in a huge lake! The radio commercial he had heard said that there would be results, and if you weren’t happy, they would even give his money back.

It’s like he was guaranteed endless amounts of fun! He was going to love Ponies Having Amazing Times Camp.

No, that was not in the radio commercial. Warble actually made that acronym up.

Though most of the ponies on the camping trip came along with ponies they knew, Warble went alone. In fact, the stallion had actually begged Fluttershy to go with him for some “bonding time”. Fluttershy didn’t understand what he meant by that, but egged him to go on solo--and said that maybe getting outside and doing something would be good for his health.

So, this was why Warble was currently seated next to a fat stallion. Like, a really fat stallion. He made Warble, an already chubby pony, look extremely healthy. He was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with at least six pieces of bread. “Oh wow!” he smacked his lips obnoxiously. He leaned over to Warble, his short light blue mane almost making contact with his foreleg. Warble tried to scoot over, but it was in vain. He was already backed up against the window. He felt awkward. “This is so good! The multiple pieces of rye really lock in the flavor!”

Warble didn’t know the dark blue colored stallion, so he didn’t know how to reply. “Uhm… neat?” he said, weirdly.

“You wanna try some?” Without warning, the lard almost shoved the half-eaten sandwich in Warble’s face. It was only two inches away.

“N-No thanks…” Warble turned his head away, trying to get the sandwich away from him without rudely pushing it away. He took a deep breathe when the fatso stuffed the rest in his mouth. Now, had Warble not promised Fluttershy that he’d watch what he ate on the trip, he’d have snatched that sandwich and eaten it with the ferocity of a thousand lions. After all, as the Attribute of Gluttony, it was only to be expected.

Warble was afraid that this behemoth of a being was going to take that title away from him, though. “Suit yourself!” he said.

Now that Warble looked around, most of the ponies on the bus were somewhere between “mildly chubby” and “gigantic ball of fat”. Perhaps it was just a coincidence. Warble didn’t think about it too much.

Warble was getting a little tired of not talking to anypony. Unfortunately, he was terrible awkward when it came to starting conversations, especially with ponies he didn’t know. He tried his best, and turned towards the large blue pony. “Uhm… so, is this your first time at pee-aitch-ay-tee camp?” he asked. The large pony cocked an eyebrow, and then shook his head after a few brief second. He most likely would have answered, had he not had another sandwich in his mouth. After he chewed and swallowed, he looked at Warble with sea-green eyes.

“Nope,” he said. “My parents say I have a problem, and send me here every summer. I just don’t see it.” Another monumental bite. Warble nodded, understanding entirely.

“I came here on my own free will,” he explained. “Sounds like an opportunity I just can’t pass up. I heard this place was the best.”

The other pony cocked his head, actually taking a moment to breathe from inhaling his morning snack. Then he smiled. “Good for you, bro! You don’t see many ponies at camp with that kind of attitude.”

Warble felt proud of himself, but he didn’t know why. “Really? I thought everypony’d be dying to come to this place. It sounded so interesting.”

“Not everyone has the same attitude towards it.” Another sloppy, disgusting bite. “This is my third year, after all, and I’m still not used to everything it has to offer. I’m sure by tomorrow, you’ll understand why.”

“Is that when we go kayaking?”

Fatty Mcgee laughed, and held out a hoof. “You’re a funny stallion. I’m Paunch.”

“Warble.” He shook his hoof with a small smile. Not even at the camp yet, and he’s already making friends! He was too excited for words. Even though he left all his other friends, and his marefriend, at home--all of whom he wouldn’t trade for the world, he still felt an inner feeling of ecstasy whenever he met somepony new.

“Perhaps if we stick together, we can get through this week without having a heart attack,” Paunch chuckled. The fat underneath his chin jiggled with every sharp intake of breath. Warble wasn’t sure if Paunch actually had make a joke, or was making a reference to their weight. Normally, Warble had a history of getting upset at the mentioning of his weight. But, considering Paunch entirely, Warble only felt like laughing.

There was the sound of feedback as the trains intercom system roared to life. “We will be arriving at our destination in ten minutes. Please gather your belongings, and-”

Warble couldn’t hear the intercom anymore due to the sheer amount of panic that erupted in the train car. Ponies, in a frenzy and as if their lives depended on it, grabbed their bags and tossed all of their remaining snacks out the window, as if it was the plague. Ponies turned to the ones around them with manic eyes. It was as if they were trying to get rid of evidence.

Of all the ponies in the train car, Warble was the only one to not panic. What was going on? Why was everyone throwing away so much food? What a waste!

Apparently, Paunch had the same idea as the other ponies. Paunch practically hopped on top of Warble’s unprepared body, desperate to get rid of the rest of his morning meal. Paunch’s flabs of unfiltered sweaty fat dragged itself acrossed Warble’s face as he screamed in agony. Not only was Warble victim to having a fat stallion’s body rubbed against his, but he was also running out of breath as Paunch decided to put all of his weight on top of him. Warble was flailing like a madpony.

After scrambling on top of Warble like a squirrel going up a tree, Paunch threw his food out the window. Only when he sat back down, which took way more time and effort than Warble would have preferred, did Warble continue to breath.

“Sorry,” Paunch said, giving Warble a look of shame.

Warble nodded in his direction, eyes widened as if he had just seen a ghost.

Once we get to camp, Warble thought, things will take a turn for the fun. Warble rested his head against the window, and tried to relax. Ow...

***

When Warble got off that train car, things didn’t seem too bad at first.

Since Warble was at the front of the car, he was nearly the first pony off the bus. With his bright orange suitcase in tow, he had a large smile as soon as he stepped outside.

The train “station” was located somewhere in the middle of the woods. Trees seemed to touch the sky, and various plants adorned the floor. He was unsure of the location, however, but that hardly mattered. He was on top of a wooden platform as soon as he stepped off the train. It was literally just that. Nothing more. All the other ponies congregated around him. Apparently, they were supposed to wait there for further guidance.

Paunch was right behind Warble, who had a much larger grin on his face than any of the other. Whenever the blue stallion took a step, his large belly would jiggle. Warble’s belly was already large, and almost hit the ground. Paunch’s actually did, and there were little scuff marks on the underside of his stomach. “Finally! Oh, I’m so excited! I wonder what we’re going to do first! I wonder what our cabins are like! I wonder who our camp counselors are gonna be!” He turned to Paunch. “You’ve been here before, what goes on first?”

Paunch gave Warble the stupidest look he could manage, as if nothing he had said had made a lick of sense. Paunch must have thought he was kidding, because he bit the inside of his mouth. “Ya know what, I’m not going to spoil it for you. Just be patient, Whips will be here any second.”

Whips? Wait, why did that name sound familiar?

The heavyset group of ponies on the wooden platform remained silent, as if they were afraid. Warble couldn’t understand why. He wanted to get moving. He was almost nervous that the platform would collapse due to the sheer weight. Truthfully, most of the other ponies were much larger than he was. How come he got stuck with the Attribute of Gluttony, and not one of those ponies? The answer was obvious, but he didn’t have time to think about it when a microphone burst to life.

“Welcome, Fatties!” a loud voice boomed over the microphone. About five feet below Warble, a stallion was staring up at them from the forest floor. He wore a set of aviators that covered his eyes, and a sweatband around him head. His black mane was gelled upwards, almost defying gravity. His coat was the color of Warble’s favorite kind of macaroni and cheese. “I hope you all had a good train ride, because that’s the last time you’ll be sitting for a prolonged amount of time. My name, for those of that are new here and don’t know just what you’ve gotten yourself into, is Whips. I’m your councillor. ”

Warble gave the councillor a very silly, excited wave. Whips seemed to notice, but only shook his head in his direction. “If you are here, then you are here for one reason and one reason only: because you. Are. Fat!”

What?

“That’s right. You’re all gigantic tubs of lard. Your fatassery knows no bounds.” Warble wasn’t understanding why Whips was calling names. Perhaps this was part of some kind of camp initiation skit. Warble grinned, and decided to play along. Whips paced back and forth with the microphone, whilst he verbally beat the group of twenty-some ponies. “That’s why you’re here. So, let’s get started. We’re going to begin this morning right. We’re going to hike four miles to camp. Starting now.” He set down his microphone, and blew a whistle. Warble, as well as the rest of the group jumped.

A light green mare with a curly white mane at the back of the group--who had more rolls than a Canterlotian bakery--ended up raising her hoof. Whips nodded in her direction. “But… we still have our things. Can we-”

“That’s right! You will not only be hiking, but you will be hauling your belongings. Almost forgot to mention. Thanks, Windy.”

“Windy” flattened her ears against her head when most of the group ended up giving her a death glare. She whimpered.

“Alright, let’s go. We’re on a tight schedule.” Whips blew his whistle again, louder than before. Warble, unsure, grabbed his suitcase and hoisted it onto his back. He was really regretting packing his bag full. Whips started to walk down the trail, and the rest of the ground began to follow.

“Welcome to Fat Camp, Thunder Thighs! We’re gonna whip you into shape whether you like it or not!” yelled Whips, like he was some sort of drill sergeant.

Wait a minute… PHAT… Fat…

Warble screwed up.

Only a few steps, and already Warble was panting. He wasn’t healthy in the slightest, and the bag on his back didn’t help. He rushed to the front of the line. Paunch, for some reason, tried to follow him. However, the stallion was already having a heap of trouble moving. By the time the stallion reached the two of them, he was already wheezing.

“Uhm, excuse me, sir?” Warble said meekly from behind Whips. The camp councilor didn’t slow down, nor bat an eyelash. Not like Warble would even be able to see, consider the aviators. “I’m Warble. I think there’s been a mistake.”

“Warble? Well, your name suits a Wide Load such as yourself. And I don’t believe in mistakes, son. But humor me.”

Paunch’s wheezing was becoming crazy loud, but Warble tried to tune it out. “I… I thought this was PHAT Camp. Pee-aitch-ay-tee. Like, an activities camp. I didn’t mean to be here.”

Whips only stayed silent, looking Warble up and down. Eventually, he huffed and turned the path in front of him. “By the looks of it, it appears that you being here is a happy accident,” he said. Warble’s heart dropped. “You look like you should be here.”

“But I’m trying to lose weight at home already!” Warble argued. Whips didn’t appear to hear. “Part of it has to do with the fact that I’m big boned…” he said under his breath.

Now, Whips heard.

“HALT!” The stallion shouted. Warble jumped, and stopped in his tracks. Paunch, who was still staying at his side for some reason like an oversized puppy dog, slammed into him, almost knocking him into the ground. The rest of the group stopped immediately, thankful that they could take a break...

...even though they’d only walked roughly 300 feet.

“Everypony, I’d like you to meet Warble!” Whips threw an angered hoof towards Warble, who regretted ever opening his mouth at this point. “He thinks that coming here was a gigantic mistake, and that he doesn’t have a problem.”

The other fat ponies simply looked from each other, then to Warble, and back again. They didn’t appear to want any part of what Whips was doing.

“This joke doesn’t get the fact that he’s overweight, and desperately in need of help, and a better life!”

“But I like my lif-”

“Give me ten push-ups, Tubs!”

Warble was confused, and faltered. He cocked an eyebrow as if Whips had made no sense whatsoever. Though, to Warble, that was kind of the case. “E-Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Ten. Go!” With Whips’ increased aggression and name-calling, Warble obeyed. He got down, and did a single push-up.

“ONE,” Whips chanted. Warble did well in high school. However, P.E. wasn’t his forte. He used to bumble through class, and generally got his lowest grades there. It was unsurprisingly that Warble was already having trouble getting up from his first push-up. His forelegs were already shaking. “Look at this! Everyone! Gather around this failure right here! He can’t even do two push-ups! Is this what you all want to be like in the future? Or worse, continue to be like this?”

Warble did another push-up. It hurt. “TWO,” said Whips. “I’m going to whip you all into shape, whether you’re here on your own free will or not. No ifs, ands or buts.” Whips got down, and started shouting in Warble’s face. “These ponies are watching you struggle, how does that make you feel, fatty?”

Warble began to cry.

“If those tears were sweat, you wouldn’t be struggling to do ten push-ups right now, Lardo!” Whips shouted. “Are you a disgrace, Warble? Huh, are you?”

“Nooo-oo-oo,” Warble sobbed on the ground.

“So you’re not going to question what your purpose here is, right? Because you already know!”

“Yeee-eee-ees!” More tears.

Whips broke away his uncomfortable gaze with Warble. “Paunch, back again, are we?” he said, while pointing a hoof at the nearby pony. Paunch nervously shrugged.

“Watch him, make sure he does eight more push-ups. The rest of you follow me!” He blew a whistle, and soon, the rest of the group grabbed their belongings and made their way down the path, casting sorry glances towards Warble.

Warble didn’t stop crying. Paunch watched him. It was an awkward moment in their relationship.

***

Almost an hour and a half later, the group reached camp.

Much to Warble’s surprise, the camp was actually fairly standard. There were small cabins, a small lake, and even a mess hall. It felt like Warble was simply at summer camp back in grade school. Except, it wasn’t a complete Hell.

By the time the group of chubby ponies arrived, everyone was on the brink of death. While most of them were wheezing up a storm, sweat poured down each and every one of their faces, including Warble. The stallion had long since ditched his bag. Even though there was a few essential items inside, most of it was food anyways. It was expendable. Besides, he was dying.

He practically flopped onto the ground the moment Whips shouted “Halt!” His legs were on fire, as well as his lungs. Never, in his life, had Warble walked or hiked that much in one sitting. When he was traveling with Twilight, her friends, and the six other sins--that was a close second.

“Alright, Sad Sacks, we’re here,” shouted Whips, stating the obvious. He was barely heard over the loud cacophony of wheezing and unhealthy pants for breath. “I hope you all enjoyed that, because we’re just getting started.”

Warble wanted to vomit. Why? Why had he done this to himself? Why didn’t he research this camp before blindly signing up? Because he’s an idiot, that’s why.

“T-Thank… Celestia…” Paunch rasped. When the stallion flopped to the ground, Warble was afraid that Paunch would actually damage the earth underneath him.

“We’re not done yet, Boobs,” Whips shouted. He pointed his hoof over to the mess hall. “We’re gonna have some lunch. We’ve got some delicious veggies, fruits, and other healthy crap all made for ya. And you’re going to eat all of it, even if we have to force feed you.” The entirety of the group groaned, and followed Whips in a similar way to being lead to Hell.

“This… is going to be the worst... week of my l-life…” gasped Warble. Meanwhile, the other mare that spoke earlier, Windy, crashed down right next to them.

“Trust me,” she huffed and puffed. “It o-only gets worse. This is my second time here. Almost died last time.” Windy’s curling mane groped at the ground. Her face was beginning to grow pink.

“I wish I wouldn’t left my bag out there… I could use a snack,” Warble grunted. There was a stunning silence among the three. Paunch and Windy simply stared at him, eyes wide, before they both tackled him.

Warble felt like he was drowning in a pool of jelly.

Except it wasn’t jelly at all. It was fat.

“You have snacks?”

“Tell us! Please!”

“Get off me!” Warble shouted. Almost immediately, as if they were Warble’s trusted assistants, the two hopped off of him. He dusted himself off, and spat on the ground. That was the second time he was almost killed by Paunch that day. It was weird, because Warble only knew the stallion for three hours. “I… my bag. I brought snacks, but I left it in the woods.”

“Show us,” Windy said, with eyes made of steel. Paunch was looming over him, like two tanks created to destroy a weakling like Warble. The stallion held his hooves up, defensively.

“O-Okay…” he whispered. “Please… don’t hurt me.”

“Give us the snacks, and nobody will,” Paunch murmured.

***

It had taken a bit of effort to sneak away from Whips’ line of sight, as well as the other campers. Ten minutes after Warble’s stupid mentioning of his bag, the trio were already on their way.

Unsurprisingly, they were all panting and wheezing already.

“H-How much farther?” Windy panted. “You better not be leading us astray, Warble.” Windy gave the stallion in question a grand glare. The trio was producing enough sweat to fill a small bathtub.

“I dropped it soon after it started to become a bother to carry.” Warble brought a hoof to his chin. “So, not very far from where we started.”

Two groans.

However, soon after, they found it.

It was absolutely beautiful. A few parcels of snacks and food had spilled out of the bag, and were placed around as if an artist had moved them around. The midmorning sun streamed through the air like magical beams. Warble’s stomach instantly growled. The only thing that kind of ruined the mood for him was the two fatass’ that were shoveling down all of it.

“Ehh?” Warble emitted.

“Hey!” Paunch yelled, taking a step forward. The other two ponies instantly turned around, as if they were deer caught in headlights. Food hung from their still-open mouths. “That’s our food!

“Actually, it’s mine… I brought--”

“Your food?” said an fat orange stallion with acne. His chin was stained with juices from the various foods he’d been eating. “We found it. We had to hike how-many minutes to get it. We claimed it.”

“Yeah. What gives you the right to take it?” said the other pony, a grey mare. She was a little less pudgy, but still a little bigger than Warble.

“Because it’s originally ours, that’s why!” Windy shot back. Warble wanted to intervene, and explain how the food was technically his, but he didn’t feel like this would stop them from fighting over it. Instead, he just let out a timid whimper instead.

“Come on, guys. Just give it. We don’t want any trouble,” yelled Paunch. With every word he said, the more greasy and sweaty his forehead became.

“Hmm,” said the stallion, turning to the mare. “I don’t think I want to do that. What do you think, Eclair?”

“Nope. Fudge, I agree with you a hundred percent.” The mare known as “Eclair”, gave the other group of hungry ponies a menacing smirk. Windy cracked her neck, while Paunch just narrowed his eyes.

Warble was becoming scared again. He turned to the side, and noticed Whips. Instead of intruding like Warble was initially hoping, he was sitting in the bushes munching on some popcorn, eyes wide. Warble would take any punishment the stallion would give him, but Warble wasn’t one for fighting.

Back in the Canterlot Castle, when he saw Kindling fight all those Changelings by himself, it made Warble physically uncomfortable.

“Fine,” said Windy, taking a few steps closer. Fudge and Eclair took a defensive position in front of the bag, as if it was their child. “Then we’ll take it by force!”

Without another warning, Windy took a few steps forward, swung her hoof back, and clocked Eclair right under the chin. The mare’s head snapped back, and she fell back onto the ground.

Warble let out a girly cry for help.

Whips continued to munch on his popcorn.

Fudge, obviously not having it in him to punch a mare, shoved Windy back. “Now you’ve done it!”

Paunch used this opportunity to try to sock Fudge, but he was just too slow. Fudge stopped Paunch cold with a solid strike to the gut.

Before Warble could blink, or yell out a “please stop!”, he heard a legion of battle cries from behind him, and a flash of color.

The rest of the ponies from camp had followed them.

And now everypony wanted some food.

The next thing Warble knew, he was sitting right in the middle of an open battlefield. The air was a flurry of fat hooves and cries for junk food. Ponies punching, kicking, and tackling others were all that filled Warble’s vision. One mare forcibly tackled another to the ground, who was panting and wheezing already. When the mare was knocked to the ground, she had trouble getting back up. She continued to roll around on her back in a fat, tubby mess.

One stallion was literally sitting on top of another, driving him into the ground. A younger colt was running under others’ legs and tripping them. One mare was using a frozen TV dinner from the bag as a weapon, and slapping unsuspecting faces with it.

Warble started to cry.

He let out a sharp shriek when someone poked him in the side. “Uhm… hi, Warble.”

Warble turned around. It was Fluttershy. Warble couldn’t contain himself any longer. He gave Fluttershy the biggest hug he could manage, and began to blubber like an idiot. “Oh my Celestia, you’re here! I was so scared! Everyone just started punching each other! I thought this was a fun camp, not a fat camp! Everypony called me Tubs and made me do pushups and made me saaa-aaaa-aaaad!” he sobbed.

Fluttershy just patted his back with a small smile. “There, there. It’s alright, I’m here to take you home.” Warble disconnected the hug. “Well, you’re mother is, actually. She has to pick you up, due to some kind of form you signed. She said she’d meet me here. After you left, I did a few minutes of research and realized that you might’ve made a mistake.”

While Fluttershy had wanted Warble to eat better and lose a little weight, Warble knew that she didn’t want it done this way. “Thanks, Fluttershy,” he said, as the war raged on around them.

“Pookiebear!” Like clockwork, the body of Warble’s mom hugged the stallion from behind with a grand smile. “I’m so glad to see you’re okay!”

“Mommy!” Warble cheered with glee as Fluttershy took in the sight that was her coltfriend's mother. Warble’s mother was an earth pony with a buttery coat, and a short pink mane. She bore green eyes and three dragonflies… as her… cutiemark…

Fluttershy frowned. “Uhm…”

“I’m here to take you home! I’m so sorry you got stuck here!” Warble’s mom said. Warble gained many kisses and hugs.

“It’s alright, mom! Just please take me home!” said Warble.

“Yeah!” said a voice from not so far away. “Yeah, punch that fat tub of lard in the face! Bodyslaaaam!” Meanwhile, Whips was still cheering on from the bushes. In his excitement, popcorn was flying everywhere.

Everypony stopped fighting upon realizing that he was there. They all just stared at him with narrowed eyes, as if they realized who the true enemy was.

“Anyone else feel like calling a… truce, for right now?” said Windy, not taking her eyes off of Whips. The stallion gulped.

“Aye!” said the rest of the group.

“Get Whips!” yelled Fudge. Letting out yet another war cry, the army of fatness charged Whips with hooves raised.

“Wait, wait, wait!--” Whips tried to convince the ponies to stop, but deep inside he knew they weren’t going to. Without needing any more prompting, he sped into the forest, screaming at the top of his lungs. The army was just at his heels.

Fluttershy, Warble, and Warble’s mother were all that remained. There was another moment of silence between them, before Warble turned to his mommy. “Can we go home now?”

Warble’s mom answered by pulling Fluttershy and Warble in for a group hug. “Yes, dear. On the train back, you’re going to need to tell me all about your new girlfriend here! I’m so proud of you!”

She leaned in close to Warble, so as Fluttershy couldn’t hear. “She’s a fox, Warby!”

Fluttershy heard, and her eye twitched just a little bit.

With this, the three of the ponies made their way for the nearby train station. They made a pact not to tell anypony that Warble only lasted three hours at Fat Camp before his mommy had to pick him up.