Knighty Wars Episode I: Rise Of The Banhammer

Knighty had completed sexing his slaves when an urgent call came from LT. Anal Pen. Knighty, dressed in his black cloak and pantaloons arrived on the bridge to be greeted by the sight of the K.R.S CastleRock surrounded by Kniggerly Jackson's other attack ships. A grin traced his British face as he decided to pull up a comms link between the two ships.

~~~~~~~~

"Le fuk." Muttered Alicornium. His sexy Alicornium face was twisted into that of a diseased Mrs. Doubtfire cosplayer.

"Fuck me harder m8" muttered Castle.

"Suck a dick autistic sperglord faggot retards." Replied Knighty through the radio. He had an unmistakeable voice of someone who just drank fifty liters of tea and ate a few hundred crumpets. This was to be expected considering how British he was. "You're cornered. Now bend over and let me fuck you."

"Plz do." Replied Castle, a hint of sexual anticipation in his voice.

"I still have one trick up my sleeve..." Said Alicornium, ignoring Castle's previous statement. He reached over and tapped buttons furiously, almost as furiously as he'd fap.

The ship instantly attacked Knighty's ships with a wave of copyright lyrics, causing Knighty to scream like a little girl. "OY VEY, BAN IT!" He said, suddenly turning into an offensive Jewish stereotype. The ships went berserk, the main weapons systems began to unload on the K.R.S CastleRock, the exact opposite of Alicornium's gay ass plan.

The ship was engulfed in flames and began to tumble through space leaving the Knighty attack ships to accidentally shoot each other, destroying a few of them.

~~~~~~~~

Steven Spielberg loaded a disc titled 'Huge Tits And Explosions' into his DVD player, preparing for the best fap of his life. He unzipped his dick and was about to stroke it when a call came in from his Butt Buddy Kurt Cobain. He sighed, zipped his dick back up and reached for the phone.

"It's time." Was all Kurt said and was all he needed to say. Steven understood the message and a tear rolled down his cheek from unpleasant war memories.

Le Flashback Italics

Steven climbed through the dirt covered trench and surveyed his surroundings. It was truly the end. Bodies of his fellow soldiers littered the ground and the last members of his squad had already retreated, except for his friends. Pvt George Lucas, LT. Jodie Foster, Cpl. Stiggerzz, Pvt Kurt Cobain and former U.S. secretary of labor Robert Reich.

George Lucas broke out into tears, Jodie Foster and Stiggz started to fuck and Kurt and Steven stood, surveying the battlefield which was so big it could fit an entire Austrian weightlifting team and a fifty million audience.

There, standing over the bodies of the dead was none other than Dark Oger Lord Knighty. "Who dares challenge me next?" He said, his voice making Steven have a lump in his undies.

---------—-------

"No..." Said Steven, staring at his ceiling. The unsettling war flashbacks cumming to an end.

"We must stop it."