The hunt for Sombra(ro)

by Firestreak2018

Rating: everyone
Tags: King Sombra, Scootaloo, Princess Celestia, Sweetie Belle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 8157

Equestria hunts for Sombra. Sombra hunts for Sombreros.

A rather boring day for princess Celestia becomes a day of worry for her as one of her guards come in with news she wishes she never hears, but being the princess that is concerned for the safety of her ponies, she sends the mane 6 to free the Crystal Empire.

Meanwhile, the ex-ruler of said empire is busy pursuing his hobby: Expanding his Sombrero collection

Just a silly one shot fic that I decided to come up with because hey, why not? Sombrero is best pony, right?

Published 2014-10-16 03:40:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-20 13:37:11 UTC

The hunt is on

A day like any other day, a week just like any other. Celestia sighed inwardly to herself as she sat on her throne, preparing for the onslaught of nobles that she was going to have to endure for the next few hours. She did love her subjects, don't get her wrong, but the thought of having to be the mediator of so many petty squabbles and inconveniences had led her to regularly question if intelligence of the general pony population declined with time. For her own sake, she hoped that this was a non-existent trend.

"Princess Celestia!" The masculine shout as a guard galloped into the throne room snapped her out of her thoughts, and she found herself to be quite happy to see the look of panic and urgency that twinkled in his eyes. This guard was good at hiding the fear he possessed, with his stoic face making it almost impossible to any other pony to know that a storm of emotion was building up within him, but several centuries of silent analysing allowed Celestia to easily tell every feeling that they had. "Your highness! I apologize for the sudden interruption, princess, but I am afraid that I have bad news for you."

Celestia's initial boredom was immediately replaced with excitement that she hid very well as her heart skipped a beat. Yes indeed, this was a week just like any other week. Equestria needed something extraordinary to happen every week, that she had observed, although she had long since given up on trying to understand why. This week's exciting event was happening now, and although she wore a mask of concern as she sat upright, her mind was focusing more on the billions of scenarios that could possibly happen: Another parasprite invasion? Princess Luna scaring another town with her arrival (some ponies just took a while to adjust)? Twilight and her friends going on some wacky adventure that she secretly yearned to join?

"What is the matter, my little pony?" Ugh. Nevermind, I give up. Her practiced motherly tone coated her words, although she genuinely felt a mild disinterest for any of these extraordinary happenings today. Today was more like a 'super lazy' day for her, and all she wanted to do was to curl up in bed with her cape with the letter "SL" emblazoned on it. But as life always was, it never gave anypony what they desired at that time. Not even the solar princess herself.

"Your highness." The stallion removed his helmet, looking slightly downtrodden at having to be the harbinger of bad news to the princess. "I am afraid that... 'It', has returned."

It... It... What did 'it' stand for again? Celestia wracked her mind for a few seconds, face brightening up for a moment when she finally remembered, but the short moment of happiness was almost instantaneously switched with trepidation that was all too obvious for anypony to see. No... This couldn't be. He couldn't have revealed himself again like that! Not after what had happened!

"Guards! Day court is cancelled for today!" Celestia, in any other case, would have been happy to say that, filled with joy at being able to shrug off her duties for the day, but this was a serious situation that needed solving. So serious a matter that she couldn't even bask in the joy of not having to entertain the nobles' quarreling for a day. The guards saluted and set about their tasks of dispersing the rather unhappy crowd, made even more furious at having wasted hours just waiting by the doors, only to be denied just when day court was just about to start.

As for princess Celestia, she was more worried about the situation that presented itself to her, and that was why the next few minutes saw her back in her room, frantically scribbling out a letter to be sent to her ever-faithful student.

Dear Twilight Sparkle...

"Coming!"

The stallion sighed in relief as he finally got a response from the occupant or occupants of the building. As if standing there for half an hour knocking on a door was bad enough, the wait just had to be accompanied by the din of foals screaming and shouting within the building. Of course, he naturally figured this place to be some sort of daycare, and he thought that this town had forgotten when April Foal's day rightly was, so imagine his surprise, annoyance, disbelief and distaste when he found out that this was the boutique that he was looking for.

He knocked until his left forehoof was sore, but as the saying goes: good things come to those who wait. His efforts payed off after half an hour, and the foals had quietened down as an added bonus. The clopping of hooves neared the door, and the stallion naturally pushed his long mane out of his face, tilting his muzzle slightly upward to maintain his smart look. However, his confidence faltered when he saw that there was no pony standing before him.

Funny. He thought to himself as the door opened without the trace of magic at all. Is this fashionista invisible or-

"Hello there, mister! My name's Sweetie Belle! Are you looking to buy any of my sister's outfits?" The stallion looked around initially, confused as to where the energetic voice was coming from, but a look downwards solved his confusion, as well as make him feel rather stupid. Of course... Foals would be shorter than full-grown ponies. "Or did you wanna talk to her about something? She's out at the moment, but you could always talk with my friends and I!"

"It's alright, Miss Belle." He smiled, following the filly into the boutique and trying not to be too affected by the mess of the building's interior. "I have placed an order a few weeks earlier with your sister, Rarity I presume, and I was just wondering if she was done with it." He scanned the hall, spotting a dressing room, a mirror, a table in front of said mirror, and a whole lot of fabric and glitter strewn about the place. It was chaos, really, and being the perfectionist he was, he just had to get the fabrics a corner of the room, all sorted by color.

"She left in a real hurry, so I wasn't really told that we would have ponies looking for their orders, but you can follow me up to the designing room to find it if you want!" The stallion nodded, a stray thought making its way into his mind about how easily foals trusted strangers here. Too easily, really.

"Sweetie Belle? Who's at the door?" Scootaloo asked, wondering why she was taking so long to answer the door. The stallion was soon aware that it was only two fillies that had caused such a loud racket just now, and he had to admit that it was a huge feat by itself. Sure noise pollution was not something that is accepted wildly, but the sheer amount of noise these two could make was... Impressive. "Oh, hey there, mister! The name's Scootaloo!"

"Hello to you too, dear. Just what are you doing that needs you to be hanging from the ceiling like that?" Sombra looked up curiously at the suspended pegasus, who was buzzing her tiny wings to try to lift the tension that strangled her abdomen. "Do you need help?"

"Nah, I'm alright." The Orange filly waved a dismissive hoof before buzzing her wings fruitlessly again. "See?" A grunt left her lips as she buzzed more, before she let out a sigh and slumped back down against the rope that held her tightly. "Yeah, I'm stuck. Could you help me down? Please?"

As Sweetie Belle set about to find the black stallion's order, the stallion went ahead to untie Scootaloo from the ceiling with his deterious telekinesis, chuckling as he saw that it had left a depressed ring around the pegasus' abdomen. He stopped as he detected a hint of sadness from Scootaloo, and decided: maybe today was the day where he would have to cheer somepony up.

"Oh come now, my dear. Don't have to look so forlorn about being unable to fly that well." Scootaloo's mood went even further south, and he mentally slapped himself for the lack of subtlety. "There's so many other things that you could be good at, y'know? Just because a unicorn can't levitate does not mean he is a failure, so cheer up, I'm sure you are talented in something."

"Yeah, everypony keeps saying that, mister, but I just want to get my cutie mark. Sweetie, Applebloom and I have been trying for so long, but we still haven't gotten our cutie marks!" Somehow, the act of letting out her sorrows did cheer her up by a wee bit. "I don't think I'll ever find what I'm good at."

"Nothing? Really?" He asked, earning a downtrodden nod from the pegasus. "Naw, of course not. Everypony has at least something they're good at. Let's take an example: do you play any musical instruments?" Another nod, and he smiled. "Would it be drums, by any chance?" Scootaloo nodded, paused, and looked up, astonished.

"How'd you know?" He merely waved a dismissive good and told her that it was a lucky guess, before encouraging her to share more about her experience with the drums. Scootaloo was more than happy to start boasting about all the feats she had done with her musical instrument, leaving out the parts where neighbors had started to complain about the loud thumping in the middle of the night. Although Sombra knew that her feats were nothing big in truth, he did not shoot her down.

"You must be really good at the percussions, then." He remarked, a smile tugging at his lips as he saw that Scootaloo was no longer in such a downtrodden state. His smile only widened as Sweetie Belle entered the room again, carrying the piece of headgear that the stallion had ordered. "Ah... Impeccable timing, miss Belle! Thank you so much. My compliments to the fashionista too. Just as I had imagined it to be." He pushed his jet-black mane back to reveal his glowing red horn, which glowed brighter before two objects materialized between him and the two fillies.

Scootaloo sat, intrigued by these two new objects that resembled eggs held on sticks. A shake of the objects from the stallion's telekinesis made them rattle, and he brought it to Scootaloo's hooves. "A little encouragement from me, lass. These things here are called maracas, fun things to get the rythm going, if you ask me." His horn glowed again, and a guitar materialized in his hooves. "Here's a little song I made when I was a foal, and I was encouraging my fellow friends to not give up no matter how hard times may be." He gave the guitar an experimental strum, and satisfied that his instrument was in tune, nodded for Scootaloo to begin shaking up a beat. "This song's for you too, young mares. Composed by the one and only King Sombra." He paused, smiled and tilted his headgear down with a smirk. "Or should I say, King Sombrero."

Celestia let out a long sigh as she trotted into the room, finally glad that the events of today were over. She loved the idea of adventure, charging at the face of danger boldly and fighting anything that dared to threaten the well-being of innocents, but the truth she hated to admit was that she was getting too old for this kind of thing. And what could she do if danger presented itself?

Watch helplessly as her student and her friends go about with their adventures, it seems. Just sit and wait for the results. It was the closest she'd be getting to adventure, nowadays.

"Penny for your thoughts, dear?" Celestia snapped out of her thoughts of self-pity to greet the pony who entered the room, heart melting with relief as she saw him walking in without a trace of injury. The crystal sombrero perched on his head jingled merrily as the stallion made his way to the Alicorn and nuzzled her neck tenderly. The princess, however, merely continued staring ahead, refusing to acknowledge his presence. “Alright, alright. I’m really sorry for causing you so much worry, Celly. Now, will you just talk to me instead of pouting by my sombrero collection?” Sombra could see the alicorn’s shoulders shudder in an attempt to stifle a giggle, and he decided that whatever he had done was not too serious after all. Mares were such mysteries, he thought to himself as he levitated his newest addition to the glass cabinet. He had long since given up trying to guess what he did to miff her, and instead took on the strategy of apologizing first, and finding out later.

“Sorry for what?” Celestia’s question made him pause mid stride, leaving him in a rather uncomfortable position as he was in the midst of settling down on one of his nearby couches. The next thought that popped into his head as he decided to just lie down was that he was going to have to develop a new strategy. She was learning his tricks quite impressively fast.

“Uhhh… For freeing the Crystal Empire?” He nonchalantly offered, subconsciously smiling as he took in the sight of both the beautiful mare’s face and rear as she looked at him. He tried not to get too focused on the latter because of the situation, and he only raised a brow as Celestia gave him an almost expressionless look. He could see the hints of a smirk tugging at her muzzle, but he didn’t want to point it out for fear that she was going to get agitated by what she calls ‘Unimportant details’. “What? You can’t possibly get mad at me for getting a new sombrero, Celly! I swear to Faust, if that’s why you’re angry at me, I would rather go for Luna!” He chuckled at the last part, not even bothering to look at Celestia as his snickering escalated to loud howls of laughter. He knew that Celestia would come around with his tiny jokes, she always did. The feel of a soft coat pressing against his own and a feminine chuckle by his ears confirmed it. “So, my dear alicorn… Why are you mad at this old colt for getting this flawless crystal sombrero, hmmm?”

“I honestly don’t know if you’re just trying to get on my nerves, or if you’re simply the densest stallion I’ve met, Sombra.” She giggled, pecking him on the muzzle as she materialized the tea tray that sat in her room. Her telekinesis did the honour of preparing their hot beverages as they shared another kiss. “I’m not mad at you for freeing the Crystal ponies or getting the sombrero, although I am slightly offended that you didn’t get one for me. You just had to get me worried that my subjects found you again, didn’t you?” Sombra shrugged, seemingly feeling neither guilt nor embarrassment at making his love sick with worry for him. Celestia looked over her shoulder and at the stallion for a moment, but seeing him busy with a piece of candy suspended from his horn, she gave up on trying to get an apology out of him. Instead, she settled for taking a throw pillow and mashing it onto his face as revenge. “You’re insufferable, you dolt.”

“And you love me for that.” Sombra spoke through the pillow, as if he was unaware of the fabric that sat impaled on his face and muffled his voice, making what he had intended to be a deep sultry tone come out more like a zombie’s moan as it came back to life. “Wrhh dhont yhou shhr mhr shme rhuve?”

“Not gonna answer if you don’t speak clearly, love.” Sombra continued mumbling incomprehensibly, and being a mare of her word, she did not even bother deciphering the muffled voice. Instead, the solar princess just let her own thoughts be known, because the stallion's ears were still uncovered. “Say, I don’t really know where your craftspony finds so much crystal. Such a huge crystal is not equinely possible.”

"Indeed it is." Sombra said, taking the throw pillow off his face and settling it down against the couch. "From the element of generosity herself, actually. Did such a good job that I decided that I myself was generous enough to pardon the Crystal Ponies for mocking my hobby."

"I'm glad you did it, love. Such a sentence for an entire empire is totally uncalled for in my opinion." She got a snort from the stallion, and Celestia immediately went to defend her stand. "Really! A nation should not be punished just because of defaming their ruler, love! If that was what happened, I assure you that we'll only have ourselves to take care of, with Luna being the first to banish the whole of Equestria to the moon, of course."

"And that does sound desirable, doesn't it?" Sombra cooed. "Imagine... Just you, me, Luna and that snake." Celestia chuckled at the degrading term that described Discord, but let Sombra continue. "We could make life a paradise for ourselves. No politics, no petty wars to fight, no snooty nobles that have their faces so far up their plots that they break wind when they talk. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I can't say that I regret my actions, and I don't think I ever will, so remind me to thank Cadence for taking my place with her husband." Sombra took another two pieces of candy, hanging one on Celestia's horn as he ate his own. The alicorn didn't waste a second before the confectionary disappeared within her muzzle so that her coltfriend wouldn't tease her about how cute she looked like that.

"Sometimes I'm glad that you're not a ruler anymore, Sombra. I don't think I could ever take you seriously with you and your silly sombreros." She straddled the unicorn, and they exchanged another kiss before she settled stop his sturdy barrel. "Now, if you don't mind, mister, you're going to play me a song as an apology for making me worry for 24 hours." Sombra could only chuckle as he looked into his marefriend's loving eyes, and with a glimmer of his horn, materialized the guitar and strummed a-

"Oh hey, Mister Sombra! Hi princess Celestia! It's nice to- urk!" The sudden new company shocked the Alicorn and her lover out of their kiss, and they looked around from their awkward position to see a white unicorn filly clutching on to the guitar. She stared, slack-jawed for a few more moments before covering her eyes up and gagging, causing Sombra, who was the first to recover from the shock, to chuckle deeply. "I didn't see anything!"

"Yes you didn't, Sweetie Belle. Now shoo, I'm having some private time with my princess!" His telekinesis pried the filly off of his instrument, and another glow of his horn sent her back to the boutique, where her sister was busy freaking out over how she had mysteriously vanished from plain sight.

"Now that was... Uncalled for..." Celestia shifted nervously, still blushing from being seen in her compromising position with this stallion. "Looks like you did more than just collect that crystal sombrero of yours."

"I... Could have made some friends while I was there. Heheheh..."

"Just play me a song, you black-furred dolt."

"Hmph. Wouldn't miss the chance for the world, love." The stallion chuckled as he brought the guitar back into his telekinesis again, strumming a chord as he looked into his lover's majestic eyes. "Now, where were we, Princess?"

Author's Note

As for every other fic that appears, it would be great if you guys could give me some feedback. If I made some grammatical/phrasing errors, please comment it. Like the story? Leave a thumbs up and give a comment! Don't like the story? Leave a comment on why it's not up to your standards along with the thumbs down you would be putting.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Chapter 2.1: Aftermath

“Did you really have to do that, dear?” Sombra mumbled through ragged breaths, silently vowing payback as the alicorn smirked back at him. If there was anything he disliked, none of them compared to the solar princess’ playful antics, which included going on life-threatening adventurers to get the adrenaline rush she always craved for. The confidence she had in the unicorn stallion to get them back to safety in one piece was what had tired him out so much, and this ‘adventure’ just had to be on the day when she invited her student, Twilight, to go to Canterlot. In other words, the task of having to do long-distance teleportation as he bore the weight of a cheering alicorn on his back, along with the anxiety of a hydra about to gobble them up in one bite was definitely not leaving him tired out, but exhausted.

He shot a glare at Celestia, noting with an even darker one that, while he was grimy from stepping and galloping around the bog, she had retained the pristine condition of her coat because she had sat atop him throughout the entire journey. He was so tempted to shake his coat about to get the mud on her, but he knew better than to get his room dirty in the process, especially with his cabinet of sombreros being open and prone to getting literally soiled. He’d get her later, and he was a stallion of his word. “Now look at all this mess you caused, Celestia. You should feel guilty for trying to give me a heart attack and getting me so dirty.”

“How about ‘no’?” Despite an annoyed growl that left the once-black Sombra, Celestia still leaned forward to kiss his cheek, although she only did so after lifting off the clump of mud and smearing it into his mane. “Thanks for the adventure, dear. We should do this more often if we both enjoy this so much, right? I know I did.” Sombra, giving up on keeping his room clean after seeing the hoofprints he was leaving behind, grabbed his own clump of mud to throw at Celestia, but she was already out of the projectile’s path, and the mud decided to land right on his display cabinet. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he realized, to his horror, that his cabinet door was open. His eyes widened, and he gasped in shock and petrification, much to the amusement of the solar princess who merely giggled and headed for the room’s exit. “I think you just dirtied your collection, dear. Better get it cleaned up with you before you head to my dining hall for the meeting!”

Sombra didn’t need her telling him that, for he was already cradling the sombrero that got hit by the muddy projectile with tears in his eyes. Not even bothering to give a goodbye to his amused marefriend as she closed the door behind her and locked it, he rushed to the bathroom and took out a washcloth, adding his own magic to the cloth to clean it back into its original state. Even as he put it back into the display cabinet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that sombrero-eating bacteria was still present on it, and with a tear falling from his determined face, he vowed revenge against the alicorn. “Don’t you worry, Silky, my dear Sombrero! I will avenge you!” He turned to the door, and even though he wanted to address the pony that was there just a few minutes ago, the closest he got was to mumble something darkly in Spaneish that roughly translated to, “I’ll get you, she-devil.”

“Aw yeah! We’re going back to Canterlot again! I can’t believe that I was that awesome for taking down that guy!” Twilight rolled her eyes as she looked away from Spike, opting to gaze out at the approaching mountain city instead. The dragon, having earned his place on the stained glass windows for the first time in his life, was too excited for the past few days about what he had done, and when a second invitation came for them to return to Canterlot, Spike had instantly assumed that it was a second celebration of his heroism that was just too awesome to be fully celebrated in just one celebration. At times like these, Twilight likened her pet dragon to the rainbow-maned pegasus sitting opposite her, relaxing against one of the seats as she unknowingly fuelled Spike’s ego. If it was not for the masculine character of his voice and his position in the library, she would have thought that Rainbow Dash had taken over Spike’s body. “I was like pow! and boom! and-”

“Yeah, yeah… Simmer down, Spike. We all know what’s happened. We witnessed it with you, Spike. Don't need to repeat it all over again." Twilight almost fell bad when she saw her pet dragon's wide grin falter. Almost. "Besides, I wouldn’t get too puffed up about it, just in case its just some tea to catch up with each other.”

“But-”

“-Ah!”

“Bu-”

“Nope!”

“But Twi-”

“No means no, Spike!”

“Ugh, fine…” The dragon’s demeanour seemed to turn around as he slouched in his seat, gazing at the floor with disinterest that was absent just a few seconds ago. However, his sadness was not going to last long as a butter-colored pegasus meekly flew in between them.

“Aww, don’t look so down, Spike.” Fluttershy cooed, running a hoof down his spine as a sign of comfort. She looked towards Twilight with a gentle but demanding gaze for her to apologize, but the lavender unicorn was not even looking at her, without an apology to the dragon, she decided to give the second best form of help. "I'm sure Twilight isn't mean to yell at you like that..." A second later saw Pinkie Pie appearing from her friend’s mane.

“Yeah! Don’t be so sad, Spike!” The party pony exclaimed so loud that it was impossible for any of the seven ponies (including herself) to not hear. Fluttershy looked shaken at being the closest pony in terms of distance, and Twilight was looking curiously at Pinkie. “Twilight’s probably just jealous that she couldn’t be the hero this time!” That statement was scandalous in Twilight’s eyes, and she was quick to shoot a glare at the pink pony.

“What in the ha- Pinkie, I am NOT jealous!” Twilight retorted just before she caught sight of smirks on two of her other friends’ faces. "Oh my Go-"

“Crazy ponies don’t think they’re crazy, Egghead.” Rainbow Dash snickered, and her stetson-wearing friend laughed along. Twilight stuttered for a response, but none came before Applejack added her own reply.

“Mah honesty sense tells me that somepony’s lyin’ here, Twi. Ah wonder who it is…” Twilight scoffed, still at a loss for any witty replies, partially because she was just so mad at them for accusing her of being jealous, and also because she just could not think of a proper response that would not make her seem jealous.

“Aww Don’t worry too much, little miss jealous.” Rarity had also failed to hide a snicker, but at least she had Twilight’s attention. “They just love pulling at others’ hooves, so don’t need to get too worked up about such trivial matters.”

“Thanks, Rari- wait a second… Did you just call me little miss jealous?!” It did not take long for the carriage to fill with laughter as the lavender unicorn tried to defend her dignity, but she knew that her friends were too busy laughing to care about what she said. With a harrumph that only made them laugh louder, she switched her gaze to look out of the window, refusing to talk to any of the ponies in the train carriage.

Sweetie Belle sat by her sister's giggling form, confused at why friends could remain friends, even after making each other angry. Rarity was too busy laughing away at Twilight’s plight, so she was going to have to ask her later, along with why the princesses had wanted her to come along to some tea party.

"And so she said: 'Ugh. My coffee tastes like dirt.' And I said, 'why else, Celly? It's fresh ground!" The room filled with a mix of cackles and laughter as the mix of royalty and 'ex-villains' guffawed, with the exception of Princess Celestia, who couldn't help but blush furiously. Those were dark days for her, indeed. Days when she was not too bright to prevent herself from falling into traps. "And she still continued drinking because she thought it was a witty reply!"

"It was the eve of April Foal's day!" The solar princess protested before taking a sip from her teacup to hide her embarrassment. "He cheated!"

"Correction: it was April Foals! It was 12 am sharp when you took your first dirt drink!" Discord threw his head back, joined with the howls of laughter of Sombra and Luna. Cadence and Shining Armor were sitting by the side, both chuckling softly because the former found that it was not that amusing while the latter did not want to risk having his position revoked. "I was with you two, you know... In spirit."

"Spirit of chaos, of course you were, my dear draconequus!" Sombra slapped Discord hard on the back, and Discord was too busy laughing to even regard the fact that his midsection was now on one of the few empty seats of the dining hall. "Princess, Princess... Why would you even petrify such great company?"

"We second that thought, Tia! Thou hast never given us a say when Discord escaped!" Princess Celestia could only shake her head in frustration and embarrassment, and now she knew why she used to know better than to get on that Ebony unicorn's bad side. Little did she know that she wasn't the only one who was miffed by her company. "And we do appreciate your coltfriend's taste for headgear. Masterpieces indeed!"

"You're seriously making us wear these pieces of junk?!" All heads turned to face the door as it opened to reveal the last of their guests. Like those that were in the room, they had to follow the dress code of this event, and from her earlier protest, Rainbow Dash had made her perspective of sombreros quite clear to everyone (much to Princess Luna’s shock). "You can't be- serious..." Rainbow loved being at the centre of attention, but this situation was different because all eyes were on her for the wrong reason. "Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? Shining Armor? King Sombra?"

Sombra nodded, silently relieved that Celestia's guest hadn't attacked him yet like she had warned, although she had shamed his collection by calling it junk. He watched as the rest of the ponies and one dragon caught up with their rainbow-maned friend, and as if they brought her clarity of mind, the pegasus' eyes widened and she screamed his name once again, this time in shock and fear.

"KING SOMBRA?!"

Maybe Celestia was right... He thought to himself as he saw a purple unicorn charging up her horn with a snarl on her face, while her other companions had shrunk away from him. He was rather amused at the sight of a passed out baby dragon, but what got his attention was the excited squeal that sounded like it was from a fan filly amongst the fear or anger that came from his party.

"Oh please..." He sang, a smirk on his face as he pushed up his jingling wide-brimmed hat to look at the group. “I am hardly a king now that I’ve allowed Cadence to inherit my position with Sir Shining. You may address me as ‘Doctor Sombrero’ instead!” He could see curiosity mix into the lavender unicorn's expression, and smiled in triumph as Sweetie Belle ran towards him and embraced him, adding bewilderment to her already conflicting emotions.. "Well hello there, child. It's nice to see you again."

“Doctor Sombra?!” Rainbow growled back, anger directed towards Sombra after she came to a gut feeling that he was controlling the princesses, Twilight’s brother, and Sweetie Belle. “What do you even have a degree in?!” Sombra did not retaliate even though the group (except for Spike and Fluttershy) stalked closer to him as if they wanted to rip his throat out. Instead, he was sniggering at the sight of five angry ponies wearing headgear that jingled out merry notes, a far cry from their holders’ expressions.

“Alright, everypony. Just keep calm and we can sort things out like the civilised ponies we are. Please don’t do anything rash.” Princess Celestia had expected them to back down begrudgingly with the exception of the bold rainbow-maned pegasus, so imagine her surprise when she found five mares, one stallion and one draconequus giving her a glare. Both Twilight and Sombra spoke together, although they said different things, with Twilight arguing that all those in the room were under a mind control spell, while Sombra and Discord were berating her for not letting them have their fun. “Alright, you three. That’s enough!”

“But Princess-”

“-Ah!”

“Bu-”

“No!”

“But-”

“No means no, Twilight Sparkle!”

Spike was not the only one which felt a sense of deja vu, and the lavender unicorn’s sudden pout as Celestia got to explaining seemed almost akin to Spike’s when they were on the Friendship Express. This time, however, nopony could really say anything to comfort her when there were more pressing matters going on.

“Perfect. Now that we’ve all calmed down- and stop giving that look to him, Rainbow Dash. I’m going to explain everything. So just take a seat and bear with the sombreros; It’s the dress code for this tea party.” Without much protest, the seven of them went to take a seat for their own, with Sweetie Belle opting to stay in Sombra’s embrace, something that ticked Rarity off. “Yes, Sombra never was bad in the first place, maybe even a better ruler than Luna and I because he thought us how to get things done. He just needed some time off before he went back to his ruling, but Shining and Cadence took over his position as ruler.” As she was explaining, she did not catch sight of Spike paling as he was left with the seat next to Sombra, who grinned toothily at him, his eyes gazing at him like a predator would, silently daring him to get close enough within biting distance. A hoof raised itself, and Celestia sighed. “He has a degree in law, as well as design and art, Rainbow Dash. Peculiar, but true.”

“Don’t forget the maracas, dear.” The volume of his musical instruments’ shaking was enough to cause some of them to flinch. “That degree is what I’m most proud of.”

Celestia only rolled her eyes at him as she continued. “Yes, that too, as if it wasn’t weird enough. And Sombra is also-”

“And the two of these lovebirds have also been intimate since Celestia sent her sister away!” Discord was quick to butt in on Princess Celestia’s explanation too as he knew that she was going to beat around the bush with such things. “He was both Celestia’s and Luna’s coltfriend at first though, and that’s why, fillies and gentledragon, we have the batponies!” Discord guffawed, watching the mixed reactions that went through his audience: Sombra, Shining Armor, Cadence and Pinkie were making their amusement known, Celestia and Luna were blushing madly, and the rest of them were slack-jawed, taking an extraordinarily long time to register this new (and possibly scandalous) information.

“We’re much closer than you think, young’uns.” Sombra chuckled, giving Celestia and Luna a kiss on the cheek to make them blush harder.

“Enough, Discord. We will not stand idly by whilst you tarnish our names!” Luna growled, grabbing a conveniently placed guitar and throwing it at the draconequus, who was shedding tears of laughter. He caught the projectile with ease and floated to the corner of the room, catching hold of Sombra as he floated past him and depositing him on the ground where two conveniently placed maracas lay. “Now play us a tune and stop laughing, colts. We wish to dine without embarrassment!”

“Anything for you, lovely.” They chuckled in unison, dodging a cup of tea that was hurled at them by a livid dark blue alicorn with a bow. The pair exchanged a hoofbump and began shaking/strumming out a catchy tune, setting the initially awkward or hostile behavior to one of festive joy as if whatever was transpired earlier was all forgotten. Celestia and Luna tried their best to forget about their little secret being dispensed like that and motioned to the food, urging their fellow guests to start partaking in the exotic fare. They all agreed like every guest would, but they dined in relative silence until Celestia spoke up once again.

“So… What do you all think of Sombra, or Sombrero, in this case.”

All heads turned to see Sweetie Belle with a dreamy look on her face as she sighed.

“He’s so amazing…”

Author's Note

Part 1 of the surprise chapters :pinkiehappy:

Thanks for waiting, Patlestia (and the rest of you who decided to wait for it after seeing my comment). Your "long-awaited" surprise chapters are here! Hopefully they don't disappoint too much.

Proofread by: LoneUnicornWriter

Chapter 2.2: It's okay, Spike

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Today really wasn’t Spike’s day. First, getting ridiculed by Twilight, and then realizing that his efforts were all in vain because that shadow that he defeated was merely an illusion spell to cover up some grand scheme for the princesses to hide their coltfriend. He didn’t just feel bad; He felt rotten, horrible, useless, and even as he was trying to drown out his sorrows, somepony was stopping him from doing so. What a jerk... Spike grumbled to himself as he slammed his half-empty mug on the table with a growl.

“I said, another DONUT, Pony Joe! Extra sprinkles!” It technically was drowning out his sorrows, really: Drowning them out with the sweetness of the best donuts he’s ever had in his whole life. However, his task was halted because the very owner of this bakery was hesitating on giving him his desired sweet stuff. “Joe. I’m not gonna ask again!”

“Yes you aren’t, Spike.” The unicorn stated flatly, sitting on the chair on the opposite side of the booth to look directly at Spike. “You’re gonna tell me what’s wrong, okay? Just a few days ago you’re all excited about saving an empire from some evil menace, and now you come back in here like its been recaptured or something. Mare problems?” Donut Joe knew about the many troubles of a teenaged colt, an age which Spike was perpetually stuck at, but Joe had never expected a dragon to be so well-integrated to pony society that he really was almost like a pony trapped in a dragon’s body. A really tiny one He thought as he levitated another stack of donuts from the kitchen. Spike reached out for them, but Joe shook his head, silently stopping the adolescent dragon from reaching his goal. “Now, my little dragon friend. You’re gonna tell me what’s got you so down, okay? Is it Rarity again?” Spike shook his head with a mumble, but it was enough for Joe to get the hint that his guess was wrong. “You found out you liked Twilight Sparkle but she friendzoned you?” Another shake of his head accompanied with a glare of bewilderment, and Joe mentally sighed with relief. At least if he was going to be competing for the heart of that cute mare, he would not be up against a dragon. “Found some lucky stallion with a whole bunch of mares as his herd?” Spike pondered for a moment before nodding, and Joe rewarded him with a donut, one that Spike inhaled almost instantly. "Oh so that's what you're sad about, huh?" Spike had wanted to blurt out the truth so badly, but he had Pinkie promised not to tell anyone else. If only he could bend the rules by a bit... "Dude, herds are normal in Equestria. So what if that guy has a bunch of mares? Big deal, 'mright?"

“Not just any mare, Joe…” Spike growled out as he took another swig of coffee to clear his airway of potential choking hazards. “This guy has two of the most important mares of Equestria!” Joe could feel dread start building up within him. Did Twilight get taken by some other stallion? Was he too late?

“W-who was it?” Joe stammered, failing to hide his nervousness, although the dragon was too depressed to think about what the unicorn in front of him was doing or feeling.

“That idiot’s the coltfriend of both Princess Luna and Celestia, Joe! How is that even fair?!” Not hearing Twilight’s name in a sentence never felt so relieving to him, but a few seconds saw Joe giving a surprised gasp for a totally different reason. “The princesses of the sun and moon, and they’re both taken by the same stallion! Y’know, sometimes I think I wouldn’t mind being in that guy’s position if you catch my drift.” Doughnut Joe mutely nodded before pushing the rest of the donuts towards Spike, who helped himself to stuffing the confectionaries into his mouth. Joe had a lot to think about, really: Both princesses taken by one stallion? He must be really handsome if he actually managed to catch the hearts of the two most important mares of Equestria. That stallion was probably such a charmer that even fillies fell on their side as he walked past. He promised himself that he was going to find who this stallion was, and he was going to get tips on how to look as dashing as he was to attract the attention of any mare he wanted. This was a big task, he promised himself. One that he will fulfill.

Before he could even think any more about it, the doors to his shop burst open to reveal the lavender unicorn he desired so much. His eyes nearly popped out of his sockets, and he swore he could hear a chorus of angels sing at the very sight of her, but she was not looking at him with half-lidded eyes, and she was not giving him an invitation to bed like his dreams had portrayed. Instead, she seemed to be horribly worried, and the sight of a groaning dragon splayed out on a booth chair with a half-eaten doughnut in his claws was enough for Twilight to realize what was going on. She galloped up to him and levitated him up with urgency. Doughnut Joe was too shocked by her sudden appearance that he could only gallop to where they were to make sure Spike was alright instead of trying the newest pick-up lines he got from his bunch of friends (probably a good thing though. Now didn't seem to be a good time). Perhaps she would realise how beautiful his heart was through his care for her pet dragon.

“He’s going to live, at least.” Joe remarked coolly before picking out a pill and a glass of water for Spike to drink down. “Probably ate too much, this guy, got really carried away about some stallion being the coltfriend of both the princesses and he was really depressed about it.” Twilight gave him an apologetic chuckle, and he could feel his heart flutter as his mind struggled to remember that quick second of her beautiful smile. Alas, it was over too quickly, but he did not want to scare her away by asking her to smile for him again, so he blew off some of his hidden frustration with a snort that tried its best to sound like an amused one. Hopefully she couldn't sense that it was not genuine about his amusement and just laugh along.

“Yeah… He gets a bit drunk over donuts, this guy. I’ll just leave a hundred bits over here for any possible damage he did to the bakery. And don’t care about his mumblings, really! He gets quite delusional sometimes! Heheh!” Joe had to agree to that statement, having been accused of being a mare by Spike when he was drunk over doughnuts a few years ago, although the thought about the two princesses being intimate with one colt was definitely quite juicy for gossip. Depositing the barely conscious dragon onto her back, she pulled out a bit bag and levitated it to the table before waving to Joe. “Thanks for having him over, Joe! Sorry if he caused you any trouble!” Joe just nodded and she flashed him another smile. That was enough encouragement for the baker, and he opened his muzzle to talk, but Twilight beat him to it with a fast “Goodbye!”

“Twilight wait!” Joe cursed to himself as she teleported from the bakery, leaving him alone once again with his thoughts. “... I love you Twilight.” The stallion stomped a hoof against the ground in frustration at still being unable to confess to her. He had finally worked up the courage, but she was gone too soon. Why did she go so fast? He was sure he did everything right this time: No creepy grins, no sultry wiggling of his eyebrows. He just could not understand why she never gave him the chance to confess how he really felt.

Maybe that's because she doesn't want you? I won't be surprised, really. Look at you: You're just some old baker who serves rings of bread to ponies. Where's the attraction in that?

That thought sent a wave of depression coming over him, and now it was his turn to bring out his own form of sorrow drowning, the hard Applejacks that he kept in his safebox for dire situations like this. He would keep bottles like these in the events of emergencies, and this night was one of the nights with emergencies. His heart was breaking fast, and without his alcohol, he was going to start bawling like a newborn foal. Biting his tears back, he poured his first glass of Applejack's before pulling the whole glass back with his muzzle to down the beverage. The first shot brought a pleasant burn to his throat as he grunted, and he allowed his vision to lazily scan across his bakery. He was alone here, fortunately, so nopony could see the broken state he was in as he took shot after shot of his alcohol.

It didn’t take long for him to drink until his vision became blurry with tears and the buzzing in his head brought him a lack of clarity, but he still continued to down the bottle, hoping that he wouldn’t ever have to remember that he had been ‘rejected’ by her. However, before he could drink himself to the point of passing out, a purple object caught his attention, and he tried his best to focus on the object, remembering through his severely disorientated mind that Twilight had left him something.

“Sweet Celestia’s fat flanks! Thank you so much!” Of course! It was her bit bag! How could he have forgotten?! He grabbed at the bag, grunting in annoyance as he missed several times, and when he finally managed to grab hold of it, brought it closer to his muzzle and took a deep whiff. The metallic smell of bits was dominating, but the scent of the shampoo she always used was unmistakable. Maybe it was her own way of confessing her feelings? That must be it! came his muddled mind's reply as his shattered heart immediately fused back together, grew wings, and started to flutter. “Thank you so much, Celestia! THANK YOU SO MUCH!” He brought it close to his heart, not even bothering as his drunken form fell off the booth and hit the ground with a thud, and he blissfully entered the realm of slumber, mumbling out the lavender mare’s name a few more times than he usually did.

It was nights like these that he wished he remembered her little gifts to him.

Author's Note

Part 2 of the surprise chapters, thus officially bringing this story to its end! :pinkiehappy:

Thanks for the support for this story, guys, and if you ever want me to write any ideas your minds come up with, don't hesitate to tell me about it (got a link for google forms on my acc. Pls use it!).

Ps... Who wants me to write a story about Doughnut Joe trying to learn how to be as dashing as Sombrero himself?