Twilight eats Sonata's Taco
Admiral Biscuit
It was good to be back at Canterlot High, Twilight decided. The transformation was as weird as always—going from a fur-covered quadruped to a clothing-covered biped was always a bit jarring—but this time she at least had the benefit of experience, and didn't try to run around on all fours.
She even managed to not stare at her weird hands.
By Faust, those things were weird. How Spike put up with having them there all the time was beyond her. Two wings were hard enough to control; fingers were four times harder. And her toes! At least those mostly just did their own thing without requiring any thought.
Twilight looked back up from her hands. Obsessing over them would get her nowhere.
She had an evil plot to stop.
♪ ♪ ♪
It didn't take her too long to re-unite with the girls. Spike, in particular, was happy to meet human Rarity again, and sat at her feet while the girls began plotting out the best way to defeat the Dazzlings. Both Rainbow and Twilight agreed that was a dumb name for a band, although her time in Equestria had taught her that things with dumb names were just as dangerous as things with scarier-sounding names.
After that, Twilight settled back into the life of a high-school girl. There were too many people in too small a space, and all the boys smelled funny, so it really wasn't all that different from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.
Her eye was drawn to the clock on the wall. She'd been eager to learn . . . well, everything when she was in Equestria, but this school offered her nothing but remedial classes. It was kind of weird when she really thought about it—her friends here had to go home to their families when the day at school was over, while their parallels were living on their own, holding down jobs, and frequently saving the world. Heck, she was a Pony Princess.
It was weird that her friends found that easier to believe than her living in a tree. Twilight sighed. She could have brought a photo album—why hadn't she? And she could take pictures of everypony here, and share them back home. Maybe make a small gallery in her gigantic new castle—surely there was enough room for a small photo gallery. Rarity would love it; it would be a nice touch of class.
She was jerked out of her reverie by the ringing of the class bell. She jerked to attention, the sound piercing in even her less-sensitive human ears.
That's another weird thing, she thought as she gathered up her bags. I can't do anything with my ears at all.
She joined the rush of students into the bathroom, making sure this time that she picked the door with the correct silhouette, and joined the crowd doing a quick inspection before lunch. For how informal the lunchroom was, preparations were as intense as getting ready for the Grand Galloping Gala.
Satisfied that she hadn't sprouted a third eye or anything, and that all the buttons on her shirt were properly fastened, she brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt and headed towards the cafeteria.
She was accosted as soon as she came through the door by an exuberant Pinkie Pie. "Twilight! Twilight! Twiiiiiilight!"
"What?"
"Today's Taco Tuesday!"
The word Tuesday set alarm bells ringing in Twilight's head. She tried to light her horn, but of course she didn't have one. "All right, Pinkie. Calmly get the rest of the girls. We'll form a defensive arc, with me at the center, and keep them at bay."
"Silly filly!" Pinkie patted Twilight's head. "Tacos aren't monsters, they're nummy. Although if you eat too many, they give you monsterous—"
"Hey, Twi!" Applejack sidled up to the pair, a cafeteria tray gripped lightly in her hands. "Did you hear the news?"
"That it's Taco Tuesday?"
"Well, yes." Applejack glanced down at her tray. "It is. But that wasn't what I was thinkin' about. I was just gonna tell you Big Mac bought a new truck."
"Oh." Twilight looked over at the huge line by the serving-tables. It was kind of like the buffet lines they had at some receptions, although everyone was ruder, there was a glass cover protecting the food, and paper vouchers had to be given in in exchange for the meal at the end of the process. "I can't wait to see it. Did he bring it with him?"
"Yup."
"Twilight! You've got to get in line!"
"Why?"
"If you wait, all the tacos will be gone! Everyone loves tacos! And you've never had one!"
"Fine." Twilight gave a small wave at Applejack as the hyperactive pink person dragged her off.
After an eternity in line, with the smell of the food driving Twilight increasingly mad, the duo finally made it to the taco station. It was devoid of all but a few scraps of lettuce, and the dregs of an artificially yellow gravy that Twilight decided she wanted nothing to do with. Despite Pinkie Pie's obvious disappointment, Twilight managed to arrange for herself a nice, well-balanced meal.
Once she'd performed the ritual exchange with the cashier, they headed back to the table where the rest of the girls were sitting, when Pinkie grabbed her arm and nearly pulled her off-balance.
"Twilight!"
The ex-alicorn turned her head to follow Pinkie's pointing finger.
"There's a taco right there and it's all sad and lonely because nobody's eating it."
Twilight looked around. It was true—the taco was the centerpiece of three trays, all apparently abandoned.
She moved closer. It was a shame to waste food. Last time she'd been here, she'd suffered each time she saw the janitor or a student dump a half-eaten morsel in the trash, and this taco hadn't even been touched.
Pinkie handed it to her with a flourish, and Twilight bit into the crunchy shell. An explosion of bold southwestern flavors and textures filled her mouth. Suddenly, the light in the cafeteria seemed brighter, as if rays from heaven were bursting forth. Twilight looked around herself in wonder as the entire world burst forth into a splendor of mariachi bands and Spanish trumpets. Every single morsel of the taco had a different flavor, and they were all perfection. Quantum theories suddenly made perfect sense; even the ones that didn't. Twilight was transcending the multiverse, carried forth on a wave of tortilla, ground beef, 'cheese' slurry, lettuce, diced tomatoes, and a tiny bit of sour cream to bind it all together.
Within seconds, she'd devoured the entire thing.
"Hey!" An angry voice brought her back down.
Twilight turned to face a miffed girl in a pink skirt and maroon blouse.
"You just ate my taco!"
"Sorry," Twilight said, wiping her mouth. She offered a bowl off her tray. "Here, do you want my peaches?"
Sonata Dusk screamed.
Author's Note
A One-Shot-Ober fic.
inspired entirely by this blog post
I'm going to hell for this.
I regret nothing!
