Notes on this journal’s discovery and the state of the town on April 16th:
This journal was found in the Ponyville Library, where Twilight Sparkle had taken up residence since her relocation to Ponyville. It is a case-bound journal, kept in very pristine condition, which reads “Research Notes” in print on the front cover. All pages are intact, except for a few exceptions as noted when they occur.
The library itself was in disarray, with books, notes, and various supplies (including quills, ink, water, food, and lanterns) strewn about the floor and on the shelves. They were, however, well-arranged, leading us to believe that the “pigsty,” as one guard dubbed it, was not a potential case of breaking and entering. This journal was found on a desk that had been moved to the room’s center, accompanied by a plain quill and an empty container of ink. The desk was stained with blots of ink; while a struggle may have been possible, it is not certain this is the case.
The rest of the town was in a similar condition; some buildings were barricaded, but all were stocked with basic provisions and lanterns. Several streets contained debris, but they were only shards of glass from broken lanterns or pieces of wood torn from houses and storefronts. None of the exterior doors or windows of any building were broken or in disrepair, but some interior doors were damaged. The Town Hall, however, was completely empty of anything not nailed down, except for the mayor’s office, which was in “normal” condition.
No other substantial notes, writings, or evidence related to what occurred have been found at this time. All of the writing contained within, unless otherwise specified, matches samples of Twilight Sparkle’s writing found in official records.
March 26th
I just got back from picking up another month’s worth of supplies with Spike. I saw this journal sitting in the window of a store and figured it would be a good alternative for writing down notes on any experiments or research I end up doing during my studies. It tends to get difficult to find all those pieces of parchment if Spike or I don’t organize them correctly.
I’ve been meaning to start a journal again too, but that’s a secondary priority for now. Hopefully, I can finally start getting some work done again with everything stocked up.
March 29th------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mixing Experiments
Experiment #1:
5 mg Bitter Root (crushed)-----------------------------------------------200 mL Water
10 mg Double Thyme (crushed)----------------------------------------4 petals of Sweet Bloom
Soaked the Sweet Bloom petals in water for two minutes and then removed them from solution. Added Bitter Root and mixed until normal acidic reaction occurred. Added Double Thyme after about ten seconds of reaction, then solution began to settle. The solution remained calm for ten minutes, after which the reaction resumed for fifty seconds and then stopped.
Zecora's suggestion was helpful for calming the mixture and it did taste a lot sweeter than my usual tea. I'll have to share it with the girls if I get a chance.
Experiment #2:
15 mg Dragon Leaf (crushed)--------------------------------------------300 mL Water
50 mg Hydra Extract (powdered)---------------------------------------25 mg Poison Joke (crushed)
Hydra Extract and Dragon Leaf, when mixed with water in the above ratio, are often used as a sedative for medical operations. It also has a mild effect on plant life, causing a slight shriveling of leaves and flowers in small doses with no long-term damage to the plant observed. Poison Joke has rather unpredictable effects on ponies and I thought a few experiments might be helpful in understanding it.
The Hydra Extract and Dragon Leaf were mixed in water and its effects observed with a 20 mL dosage added to one potted sunflower. The edges of the leaves curled inwards towards the midrib, and the flower’s petals began to fold back towards the stigma.
The crushed Poison Joke was added to the mixture and given time to settle before a 20 mL dosage was added to the original sunflower. The leaves and flower petals unfolded to their original shapes. Another 20 mL dosage of the mixture with Poison Joke was added to a second potted sunflower. Within a minute, two more leaves began to grow from the stem at an alarmingly fast rate. The growth stopped just as the leaves began to unfurl.
I’ll have to try a few more experiments with it to get a better grasp of its uses, but this is an excellent baseline for understanding how it functions.
(There were several quill indentations on the next three pages that did not match up with the shown writing.)
April 1st
Well, it seems like Pinkie decided to use an old staple for April Foal’s Day. Vanishing ink, again, and during my spell research over the weekend. This time it didn’t start to disappear until after I was finished. A few days of work are gone, but it’s nothing to worry over. Besides, I had a backup plan in case she tried a prank today; I brought her an enchanted exploding cupcake, and the look on her face was priceless.
I’ll have to wait until next weekend to give the research another go though, because Applejack asked for some help with planting this season. She said her family was planning to add a few dozen trees to the orchard and that they could use help getting the land ready and fenced off. Hopefully Pinkie worked out all her pranking today so we don’t get sidetracked.
If she only knew what lied on the roads ahead, what waited in the shadows.
April 2nd
I just got back from Sweet Apple Acres with Spike, and boy was it a long day. We had to get started early, but we managed to get the fences installed and the soil ready for planting before the end of the day. Applejack says we can finish the planting tomorrow, and then we can spend the rest of the week watering or helping her out with the rest of the orchard, although she insists her family can handle the rest on their own.
We probably could have finished more if we hadn’t been interrupted in the middle of the day. Jelly Belly stopped by the farm, asking if anyone had seen her brother since yesterday. She wondered if it was some late prank he was pulling with Pinkie Pie, but she insisted it wasn’t. Something about it being “in the blue saddlebag if you missed it.”
I’m sure he was just out and about for the day, or took a trip over to Trottingham. I remember hearing that he was trying to find a shop there that would buy his family’s treats. Hopefully he’ll turn up soon and Pinkie’s prank wasn’t too jarring.
I’m double checking to make sure all the books I used over the weekend are still where I left them before I head off to bed. I want to be sure I can get started as soon as I have free time.
The first are long gone, just like all the others now, but they found a new home.
April 3rd
We finished helping Applejack with her planting on the new part of the orchard today. Spike said he’d take care of the cleaning I had planned to do when we got home, so I decided to drop by Jelly Belly’s house to see if she had any news about her brother. She said he hadn’t shown up yet, but he had been known to disappear before, so she wasn’t entirely worried. She just wanted to save herself from the shock of him popping out of a cupboard to surprise her. Before I left though, she mentioned he left notes before when he would leave unannounced, so he might have been in a hurry this time.
I still had a little time left before sundown, so I went out to Zecora’s to let her know that her suggestion worked perfectly for the tea and we even got to make some before I had to leave. Hers tasted a little better than mine, but that’s probably because she had fresher ingredients.
And of course when I got home, Spike was fast asleep on the stairs with a broom. I really hope he’ll learn his limits someday, though that will probably take a while.
They thought they were deserters, that they wanted a vacation, that they ran away. Were they running from or to something? Eventually, they will be back.
April 4th
Research material for spell combination and augmentation
115 Spells For Practical Use by Shooting Star
This book contains some basic spells, which should be safer and simpler to modify and combine. I’ll probably only use it for basic reference material or to come up with ideas before I begin experimenting.
Weaving Spells: The Art of Making New Magic by Silverstreak
This is a good, basic guide on how spell augmentation came about and how to do it safely. It should serve as an adequate source from when I start to when I finish.
Battle Casting and Magical Self-Defense by Stalwart Bulwark
This only really seems useful for a few sections about how to combine spells on the fly. The rest of it might be pertinent to other abstract subjects, so I’ll keep it in mind.
Cooking With Magic by Amethyst
Despite the rather misleading title, it’s actually a pretty good guide on the basics of how to combine spells. It should be helpful for getting started.
Blue and Yellow Make Anything: An Advanced Guide to Combining Spells by Brazen Hoof
This is a more advanced book on the subject of using spells together, but it does explain how to build on the basics in more varied ways, so it’s a natural step up from Cooking With Magic.
Overall, these should help me get caught up on my research this weekend.
April 6th
Rarity asked for some help with picking out new fabrics today. I didn’t think I would be of much help, but Spike was rather insistent on going and bringing him with me. I didn’t have anything planned today, so I figured it was better than lazing around the library all day.
The trip to the market was fairly uneventful, except that Rarity was eavesdropping on a few ponies making gossip. I probably shouldn’t talk though, since I couldn’t help myself either, mostly because the conversation was a little peculiar. Juniper was talking to Meadow Blossom about Thunderlane; I think it had something to do with him running off with Cloudchaser because they hadn’t shown up for morning weather duty.
I know it’s probably nothing to be worried about, but it just seems too coincidental that three ponies would be gone unannounced in the same week. I’m sure they’ll turn up soon though.
April 7th
Preliminary Spell Augmentation and Combination Experiments
Light Spell: A basic spell for causing luminescence at the tip of the caster’s horn
Alteration #1: Increased focus/input
The strength of the spell is linearly proportional to the amount of focus used by the caster, at the cost of a more draining cast.
Alteration #2: Change in focus after cast
By focusing enough on a point, the light source can be moved from the caster’s horn. This focus is not too much of an additional strain, but once the spell is ended, any future light spells will begin at the caster’s horn again.
Combination #1: Longevity spell
Once the light spell has been moved from the caster’s horn, they can cast a longevity spell on it. This locks the light source in place, and at the original intensity, for a period determined by how much energy was put into the longevity spell. If the input is linearly proportional to the period for which the light will remain active, it would most likely last two hours at the most.
Combination #2: Longevity spell and movement spell
No amount of force put into moving the light source once it is kept active seems capable of moving it, nor was any physical atte
There was a scream outside during my research, just a few hours after sundown. Practically everypony that was still awake was outside trying to figure out where it came from. The Cakes were asking if anyone had seen Lily or Daisy, because they’d just left Sugarcube Corner after making an order. I tried to look for them in the crowd, but they weren’t there.
That’s when Jelly Belly started shouting about her brother and Rumble about Thunderlane being missing, and someone mentioned that no one had seen Cloudchaser either. Before too long, everyone was arguing and shouting at each other. Luckily, the mayor showed up to calm everyone down, and she said there would be a meeting tomorrow morning at Town Hall. It’s late. I should get to sleep.
April 8th
The meeting went better than I expected it to go. Thankfully, everyone was more composed than last night. The mayor assured everypony that they were already investigating the disappearances, but several ponies were still concerned about safety. Mayor Mare said guards would be out on the streets at night, but until they know what’s going on, she asked that everyone stay inside after sundown.
Whoever is behind all of this, I hope they’re caught soon and everyone that’s gone missing is safe.
(This page was removed from the journal and found folded between the pages. There is no evidence that it was removed from the same place it was tucked into the journal. It is wrinkled, as if it were crumpled up before being flattened out and folded again. The writing is print, rather than the cursive found previously.)
I’m in an alleyway and the buildings look like Canterlot. It’s dark and cold, but there’s a candle a few feet down the alley. I can’t tell if it’s into or out of the alley, but I walk towards it. I feel warm as I step into its glow. I feel secure in the safety it brings. The candle flickers and its wax melts as minutes pass by, hours pass by, days pass by, but they feel like seconds. I look around and the alley is gone, but the candle still remains. My friends step into the light, smiling at me, but they aren't alone. My family, my teachers, and practically everypony I have ever known is there, smiling at me. They start singing, but I can't hear it. They begin to disappear in the blink of an eye, one by one, until only my friends are left. Rainbow Dash and Applejack fade together. Fluttershy vanishes, a frown on her face. Pinkie and Rarity are still there with Spike, but they drift away, like the candle and I are moving away from them. The last thing I see is a face, barely illuminated by the candlelight. It stares at me, frowning as if it's upset. Its lips part and it blows out the candle, smiling as the light fades. It's cold again. I'm alone, but they will come back and spread to everything, just like a
April 10th
The authorities are still investigating, but I think another pony went missing last night. No one seems to want to talk about it, but Pinkie said she overheard some guards talking while she was making a delivery for the Cakes. They didn’t say who it was, but she said they were talking about an animal. As if some wild creature would kidnap half a dozen ponies in the dark. I tried asking her if she and Spike were playing some prank with this entry, but they both said they didn’t know anything about it.
I can’t let all of this happen without doing something, so I’m writing to Princess Celestia. It’s not a guarantee, but maybe having more ponies helping, or at least some more security, would do some good. I don’t want to have to hear about this anymore, or see everyone so worried and frightened.
April 11th
I didn’t hear back from the Princess today, but at least there was no bad news either. Some ponies were even starting to walk around town during the day. I don’t know if everyone thinks it’s safe or they just want to appear brave, but it’s good to have life feel normal again, for just a day.
I took the chance to check on everypony. Applejack is holding up alright. She said her family managed to finish all of their seeding, and all the “ruckus” hadn’t hampered their plans for the harvest. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but had faith that whoever was behind it would be brought to justice. Rainbow Dash was fine too; she was boasting about how she’d be ready to fight if anyone tried to take her hostage.
Pinkie didn’t seem shaken by things at all, but she was worried if everypony that had disappeared was still safe. She’s been making deliveries for the Cakes because some ponies are too frightened to leave their homes, but they seem more concerned for her than she is for herself.
Fluttershy was still at her cottage and more shaken than I’d expected her to be. She said she was having trouble sleeping and that she always felt uneasy when she was alone. Rarity was stopping by to check on her too; she seemed calm and collected, at least around Fluttershy. Rarity offered to let Fluttershy stay at the boutique, but she didn’t want to leave all of the animals behind. It took a bit of convincing from the both of us, but she packed up her things, as long as Rarity didn’t mind her taking some sick animals with her.
It was getting late, but I didn’t want to head home without checking on Zecora. I found my way out to her hut, but the lights were off and the door was locked. I wanted to look around for her, but it was getting dark. I wasn’t really worried about being attacked or kidnapped, but I just felt uneasy watching the shadows lengthen as the daylight dimmed. I hurried home as quickly as I could. I hope Zecora is alright.
April 12th
I got a letter from the Princess, just after sundown. She apologized for not replying sooner, because she was tied up with royal business, but she promised to send someone down in the morning. There’s no word on if there were any disappearances, but even if there were, I’m sure the mayor is keeping it quiet. Maybe it is some kind of animal. I mean, there’s no way anypony could avoid capture for so long, all on their own.
Whoever or whatever it is, I’m sure the guards will keep everyone safe.
April 13th
The investigators arrived from Canterlot this morning. There were three of them and a dozen guards too. I don’t know if the guards were there to help or just to keep the investigators safe, but they were needed for the latter. They were hounded by reporters asking them questions and ponies pleading for the safe return of their family. Within a few hours, they had called for a meeting at Town Hall.
They announced that they were taking volunteers to help keep the streets safe at night, because the Princess’ primary order had been the safety of the townsfolk over uncovering the cause of the disappearances. I was a little surprised that so many hooves were in the air considering how many ponies were afraid when all of this started. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Big Macintosh were among them. I didn’t know what I could do, but I had to do something, so I volunteered too.
Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy are staying at the library with Spike, and it’s a few minutes until sundown. It should be a lot less likely that something bad will happen with all this security.
April 14th
It was uneventful until midnight. I was with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, along with one of the investigators from Canterlot, Sugarcane. I was trying to get something out of her, about what’s going on with the investigation or if they had any leads about who—or what—was behind it, but she didn’t seem interested in talking.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash tried to assure me that things would be alright, to trust in the investigators, but I wasn’t convinced. That’s when a scream came from a few streets over. We rushed towards it as quickly as we could, arriving at the same time as two other patrols. There was only one guard, a broken lantern, and no sign of the others that were with him. He didn’t even look injured, just frozen in fear. Sugarcane and the other investigators asked him what happened, while one of the other guards rushed off towards the hospital. Everyone that had stayed inside was turning on their lights and trying to get a look at what happened.
The guards kept curious ponies away and told them to go back to bed, but the guard that was attacked started rambling. He said they saw something in the dark of an alleyway. It didn’t look anything like a pony, and it stared at them while another guard with a lantern moved closer. Then it screeched so loudly that his ears rang; he said it sounded like a train screeching to a halt. Finally, it lunged at them, knocking the lantern away. The others vanished in the blink of an eye, before they could even scream, and then it stood there, staring at him. When Sugarcane tried to approach the guard, he started screaming about hearing it whisper to him.
Two nurses from the hospital arrived and they took the guard away. The investigators were talking in private, trying to decide what to do, but they eventually told everyone to go back to their homes. I offered to let Dash and Applejack stay at the library with the us, but Applejack said she’d be fine at Sweet Apple Acres and Dash insisted she could handle herself, even though I could tell she was spooked.
I don’t know if I should keep writing about this, but if all of this stops, someone has to know, just in case whatever it is happens again.
April 15th
Practically everyone is confined to their houses now, except for a few hours around midday. The authorities want to keep everypony safe, if not from this thing then at least from each other. They’re setting up lights to cover the streets during the night. I guess they think that because it knocked a lantern away it must not like the light. It’s not too far-fetched an idea. Spike and I have been looking for books that have anything to do with creatures, myths, or legends, but it’s starting to get late, especially considering I didn’t get any sleep last night.
I picked up a few lanterns, some oil, candles, and food from Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy’s homes. We all agreed it would be best if we stayed together. Maybe in the morning I’ll have a chance to look into this.
(The validity of any further entries is still under question. While the writing is the same style as previous entries, and there is no belief that they were written by anyone but Ms. Sparkle, the contents are viewed as unlikely to have occurred and counteract several facts about the dates listed. Please consider this with any further reading.)
(There are several faint water marks on this page and several that follow.)
April 16th
I can’t even believe what I’m writing or that this is even real still.
Spike woke me up this morning, while it was still dark. I wasn’t really thinking why the lights that had been shining through the window last night weren’t still on, but I asked him what was going on. He was shivering, trying to speak as he held up a clock. It was ten in the morning or at least ten on the clock. It just couldn’t be possible. I had to double-check, triple-check even, with the other clocks in the library. They were all the same.
I looked outside, and the sky was dark. No sun, no clouds, not even any stars or the moon. It was just black. The window was frosting over, but it was warm to the touch. I wrote to Princess Celestia to see what was wrong, but when I gave Spike the parchment it just burned to ash. I asked Spike if he'd done it right and he said it was the same thing he always did. He tried it again, but it burned just the same. I had no idea what was going on and I still don't. It doesn’t seem possible.
I told the others after trying to come to grips with it. Rarity and Pinkie Pie were shocked, but Fluttershy took it the worst. She was even more frightened than she’d already been, but we did our best to calm her down. She’s still worried about all of the critters back at her cottage, if they’re safe, and if Applejack and Rainbow Dash are too. I pray that they are, but there’s no way to know for sure right now. We just have to hope for the best.
I didn't see anypony out on the streets during the “day,” but there were lights on in the houses and silhouettes in the windows, so at least everyone appears safe for now. I could even see a few brighter lights in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres and Town Hall, but past that there was nothing. There was no Canterlot in the distance.
Even stranger was that inside the library, anywhere dark was cold, but not in any way I could feel on my skin. It was like my bones were freezing and it seeped out to the rest of my body. And yet the second I set up a candle or lantern it was fine. I have them on around the library now and we have enough supplies to keep them lit for a few weeks at the least. Maybe we can find out what’s going on here, where it’s safe.
Just the fact that it's dark would be enough, but with the unnatural cold and the fact that Spike can't send anything to the Princess: I'm worried, I'm scared, and I just want an explanation. We looked through a dozen books, but there wasn't anything about some (there is a large ink blot at the end of the "e" stroke) creature that can do this. It can wait until tomorrow. For now, the doors and windows are locked. It should be enough.
Breaking down slowly like all the others. I'm still here, because I listened. If only they had too.
April 17th
I read through Equestrian Wildlife, Two-Headed Mythological Mysteries, Medieval Pony Folklore, and Factual Legends. None of them mentioned anything that could be related to this. A few lights turned off across the way. I hope they just moved, to try and get together with others. Town Hall and Sweet Apple Acres are still the brightest lights. Maybe there are some ponies who went to the farm. If they did, they’d certainly be safe with Applejack.
To make matters worse, Fluttershy came down with a fever this morning. Luckily, Rarity and Pinkie kept her in bed for the rest of the day and took care of her. I wish they didn’t look just as bad, but who am I to talk? I’ve barely slept since the night I was on patrol and every second that I’m awake is spent doing research. What do I even have to show for that? No clues, no leads, not even the faintest idea about what is happening or making it happen.
Rarity, Pinkie, and Spike have been spending their time talking, trying to relax. They sound so happy considering everything that’s going on. Maybe they have the right idea. I should take a break before bed anyway.
April 18th
Fluttershy’s fever was better today. I figured we should set up shifts to make sure everypony gets enough sleep and that nothing gets in. Fluttershy wants to help, but we told her we’d be fine without her. The plan is for us to stay awake as we normally do and spend three hours each keeping watch. I volunteered to go first, so I can keep up my research. I started going through the remaining legend and mythology books I could find around the library, but things are starting to run dry and I don’t have many other sources.
Pinkie suggested looking in something like Ghost, Goblins, and Ghoulish Figures. I don’t think looking in a book about ghost stories is going to help, but it’s frightening to think that they’re the closest to what’s actually happening. Maybe I’ll give it a look before I head to bed or in the morning to save myself from nightmares.
We took some time to talk about our families. Rarity says that Sweetie Belle is with her parents, but she’s worried because she can’t see their house from the library. Pinkie was more concerned about the Cakes than her own relatives. She hopes they’re far enough away from here that they aren’t in danger. It’s true that we don’t know if the rest of Equestria is experiencing this too.
Canterlot would be the safest place, no matter what’s happening. I’m sure mom and dad are safe there with Shining Armor. I hope the reason Spike couldn’t send my letters isn’t that the Princess is hurt.
I think another light is going out. I have to believe it’s ponies wanting stay together instead of separated. Maybe I could leave and get to Sweet Apple Acres, to see if Applejack and any of the others are alright, though getting to Town Hall might be easier considering how close it is. That’s all for later though, I need to focus now.
(This page is torn from the top right to the bottom left. It does not seem that whoever did so was trying to remove any specific information. The words along the tear are tentatively filled in, based on visible letters along the tear.)
April 19th
The watch went fine last night, and everyone is feeling a bit better now getting some actual
sleep. I think I finally found something from Ghosts, Goblins, and Ghoulish Figures t(oo)
took a bit of searching, but I found something that seems to match what’s happe(ning)
little bit. There’s a legend from northern Equestria, back from when the Ev(erfree?)
discovered. Some foresters and explorers were supposedly seeing od(d)
forest. They called them Shadow Walkers because they would on(ly?)
corner of someone’s eye.
I know it isn’t a lot to go on, and the legend isn’t det(ailed?)
how they do it, but it fits, at least a little. Maybe there’s
that would help give me more insight into it, but the who(le?)
scary stories, more than anything concrete. Eithe(r)
kept the page marked, along with any others
case it gets unmarked, it’s page 4(6 or 8. Any other numbers are unknown)
Questioning where they come from and what they are. She was misbehaving, like a child that wants to know why she's being given something. If she listened, she would know. I stole what they learned, but gave them something in return.
(Five pages after the previous tear were violently ripped from the journal, but another folded page was found in between the pages. This page was not wrinkled like the previous one, but its writing is in print like the previous inserted page, and the tears along its side matches the first of the removed pages.)
It was the same as before, what little I can remember. The alleyway, the candle, but no one came this time. I sat there for hours, watching it flicker as the wax melted and slid down its side. I felt watched and I could hear them whispering about me. How long will she last? How much will it take? Will they ever learn? Should they? Could they? Do they deserve to? I take a deep breath and blow out the candle. The face is there again. I can see its eyes staring at me, but they’re empty, hollow, and black. It smiles, as if its saying that I did the right thing. I feel cold, but it fades as the shadows envelop and shelter me. They’re welcoming and warm. I give in, at peace with my mistakes. I’ll probably forget again, but why am I remembering now?
She never remembers because it was painful. Illogical. Unacceptable. She couldn't leave them behind. Loyalty isn't her talent, but she clings to it like a life preserver. Maybe because the other was missing, or maybe because she trusted them. She made a mistake trusting me, but I was not with them in the end.
April 21st
Fluttershy broke a lamp earlier. I don’t know how it happened, but the rest of us rushed over with more light. She was shivering and staring at the window. It took a bit of work, but we managed to get her attention. She looked pale and feverish, so Rarity took her back upstairs to get some medicine and rest.
Pinkie’s still trying to act normal, but I think Rarity is slipping. I saw her crying in the corner earlier. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing, but I can tell she’s worried. Maybe it’s about her family, or Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Not surprisingly, Spike has been spending a lot of time with her. Whenever he talks to me, he sounds so frightened, but every time he speaks to Rarity, he acts as brave as a knight. I never expected something like this to make him so much more “mature.” I’m proud of him.
I know for certain now that lights are turning off, but Town Hall and Sweet Apple Acres are still lit in the distance. I’m still thinking about trying to get to Sweet Apple Acres to talk with Applejack, if she’s still there. I could teleport from house to house to stay in the light, but I don’t want to leave everyone else here, especially if Fluttershy starts getting worse. They might not even be there.
I’ll ask Rarity and Pinkie what they think tomorrow. For now, I need to stay focused on the watch. I’ve been reading Battle Casting and Magical Self-Defense, just in case it comes to that. Maybe it would help me feel like I have some control.
April 22nd
I talked to Rarity, Spike, and Pinkie Pie about heading to Sweet Apple Acres. They were more divided than I thought they’d be. Pinkie and Spike really want me to stay, but Rarity thinks it’s the only way we can move forward, and I think so too. I told them I’d wait a day or two to mull it over, but it will have to be soon or there won’t be many lights left.
Fluttershy was up and about again, thankfully. I saw her looking out of a window, towards her cottage, I think. I asked her if she was okay and she said she was fine, but that she was “worried about them.” I assume she meant the other ponies or the critters back at her cottage, so I told her that they were safe. I think it gave her some comfort, because she smiled. I don’t really know if she believes me or not; I don’t know if I believe myself.
Pinkie asked for our help with something. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but she pulled out a few cupcakes and birthday candles she’d brought with her. She said it was Junebug’s birthday today and that she had planned a party for her before everything happened, but she didn’t exactly have the decorations for it now. She said even if Junebug wasn’t here, we should still wish her a happy birthday. I didn’t know what to say, but Pinkie had a point. Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean we should forget about them, no matter how dire things are. The cupcakes were good too.
Too blind to see reality. Too deaf to hear their wisdom. Too mute to speak her truth.
Too numb to feel
Fear. Joy. Pain. Love. Sorrow. Courage. Hatred.
Accepted.
April 23rd
I spent today getting ready to head to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity and Pinkie helped me mark a few houses that were still lit on a map of Ponyville, and I think I have a good path from here to the orchard set up. It’s going to be a two-day trip: one to get there, rest, and talk to the others, and one to get back. If everything goes according to plan, we can start working together on a way out of this.
Maybe I’ll find someone on the way there too. A new face or any other sign of life would be assuring at this point. Pinkie gave me a few of the cupcakes she had left, just in case I do find anyone. She said it will make them feel happier to see a friendly face and a cupcake, instead of just a friendly face; it made me smile. Fluttershy asked me to keep an eye open for any of her critters and to tell them that she’s safe.
Spike didn’t say it in front of Rarity, but he still didn’t want me to go, or at least go without him. I told him that I’d be safe on my own and I promised to come back. It was hard not to cry when he started to, but I told him to be strong for the others. I know he said he would, but I’m still worried about leaving them all behind. I hope that they’ll be alright and that I can return safely.
April 24th
I made it through the first three houses. It seems like the route is working so far, but there’s no sign of anyone. I didn’t search long, but there’s no clues on where anyone went and there are supplies scattered all over the rooms. Maybe I can pick some up on the way home.
Another two houses down. One had the doors barricaded, leading outside and to a closet. I didn’t want to take the time to break them down, but I could have sworn I heard something. It sounded like whispers, but it’s probably the wind and my imagination. I need to stay focused.
I’m just over halfway there; there’s still no one. Some of the recent houses were picked clean though, so maybe everyone left and headed to Town Hall or Sweet Apple Acres. I hope they made it if they did.
Only a few more houses to go.
I’m almost there, but the house before this was unsettling. The door was broken down when I got there and the lights were flickering. It felt odd, fluctuating between cold and warm so quickly. I swore I was being watched, so I got out as quickly as I could. I’ll try to skip it on the way back.
It’s empty.
April 25th
They took some of the lights from the streets in Ponyville and had them set up all around the orchard. I thought I didn’t see anyone immediately because they were all inside, but I looked everywhere. There’s no notes left behind that they left to go somewhere, but I did find a book on one of the counters with a quill next to it. It looks like a journal on crop rotations and planting in the orchard. Maybe someone was using it.
I started reading the journal. Applejack and the others were coming to the same conclusions, and Rainbow Dash was here too. I looked around again and I think there are graves here, where the soil is freshly moved. They're marked with shovels. There aren’t any names.
I buried it and not just to get it out of my mind. No one should have to see what was in that book. I’ll head back to the library after some rest.
She had many sins.
Ignoring their signs.
Forgetting their warnings.
Fighting their will.
Ignoring makes them louder. Forgetting makes them angrier.
Fighting makes it hurt.
April 26th
I got back to the library earlier today and picked up a few things on the way: food, lantern oil, some candles, and ink. I didn’t expect what I returned to.
Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike were waiting for me; they all looked worried, even after they greeted me so happily. I asked them what was wrong. That’s when they showed me Fluttershy.
They had tied her up. I asked what happened and Rarity said she found Fluttershy staring out of a window, talking to herself. Rarity tried to talk to her, but she was dismissive and said “they’re more important.” Rarity assumed she was still shaken up about all of the critters she left behind, but then Fluttershy started spending all of her time at the window, muttering under her breath.
Then they found Fluttershy awake in the middle of the night, standing at the door. She tried to open it. Rarity and Pinkie stopped her and tied her up. She was screaming the whole time, fighting them. They said she didn’t sound like herself anymore.
Everyone is losing their steam, especially after the news I brought back. Pinkie Pie still thinks they’re safe somewhere, but I’m not sure. I know what I didn’t tell her.
Fluttershy is yelling about how it isn’t fair. About how we’re keeping her from them. About how they chose her and want her to come to them. About what they had shown her, that it was beautiful. Maybe those whispers I heard were real and they’re louder for her. Maybe they’re trying to tempt us all to come out. I won’t let it happen. I won’t let it end like this. I have to find some way out.
April 27th
Fluttershy hasn’t stopped screaming for hours now. I’m trying to focus on research, but I’m running out of leads. All of the information I found isn’t adding up to a way out of this, and I don’t know if I could defend everyone—or even just myself—from what’s out there.
Rarity tried to keep herself occupied. She found an old sewing machine in the basement and started breaking apart the curtains and some of her dresses to make something new. She’s running herself ragged to try and forget everything else. Pinkie tried to keep Spike away from Fluttershy as much as she could. She could tell he was unsettled by her, even if he doesn’t act like it. He’s trying so hard to stay brave.
I’m hearing the whispers again, when I stop reading or writing. They’re definitely there, but they’re quiet. Maybe it’s the wind or paranoia getting to me. Maybe I’m just fooling myself.
I’m getting weird dreams too, like the ones I thought were pranks before. Did I really forget them? How is that possible? I pulled one out of the trash and it’s uncanny.
Maybe Fluttershy saw them, like the guard. Maybe that’s why she can hear them. I wish she would be quiet so that I could rest. We tried gagging her, but she just kept fighting. She bit Spike. I don’t even think she’s really herself, because that can’t be her. How could her body twist like that?
(The writing becomes steadily worse for the remaining lines of this entry.)
I have to stay awake. Only until Rarity is ready. I have to stay focused. I have to stay awake. I won’t let this end. I won’t give up. I won’t lose them. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. I wo
April 28th
Fluttershy is gone. I don’t know how, but she’s nowhere to be found. The windows are still locked and the door is shut tight. She just vanished. She took some of the pages from my journal, about the research I found. I can barely even remember where I found it and now it’s gone.
The whispers are louder now and everyone else hears them too. I feel like we’re being watched, like there are eyes just outside the windows. I keep seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye and the wind rapping against the door is getting stronger.
Rarity hasn’t stopped sewing since she woke up. Pinkie keeps trying to tell jokes and Spike is trying his best to laugh without crying. I’m trying to remember and I can’t. I want to say something, but what can I say?
I wish this was a dream. I wish that I could wake up in my bed with the sun shining on my face, but every time I sleep it’s that nightmare. That alley. That candle. That face.
It’s taunting me with that blank stare, that smile. It wants me to give in, but I won’t.
It wants to break me, but I’m stronger than that. I have my friends still.
I have hope still.
I have hope.
Hope.
April 29th
It’s getting so hard to keep my eyes open. I’m worried that if I sleep, she’ll come back and let them in. We’re all worried.
Some of the whispers are different. They’re our friends and family. Some are angry and others are caring. Maybe they’re running out of ideas. Maybe they’ll give up soon.
I have to keep writing. I can’t fall asleep.
Rarity is crying about her parents and Sweetie Belle. They keep calling out to her. They say they miss her. She wants to go to them. I keep telling her it isn’t them. I can hear my parents too. I want to believe it isn’t them, but they sound so real.
Pinkie is quiet and calm. Maybe she knows what’s coming. Maybe she did the smart thing and gave up. I can hear her praying. I didn’t know she prayed.
Spike can barely speak. He keeps clutching me. I try to comfort him, but it seems so pointless.
The whispers aren’t whispers anymore. The wind isn’t the wind anymore.
I can’t fall asleep.
I can’t close my eyes.
I can’t let it end, not like this
(The quill strokes become long and disjointed, and a final quill stroke falls to the bottom of the page.)
I- c- a- n-- ‘-- t ------ g ----- i----- v----- e----- u----- p
(This is the last entry of the journal. No other markings are found on future pages.)
I blinked and Pinkie was gone. Rarity yelled about eyes watching her and the screams. I couldn’t hear them. She cried. She wanted me to make it stop. I can’t. She wanted to wake up. I want to too. Spike wouldn’t say a word. I felt so cold, even with the light and Spike clutching me tight. The lanterns started to flicker out. I closed my eyes to form a light and Rarity wasn’t there. It was quiet again. I did my best to comfort Spike. It felt so easy with the whispers gone. It was so easy to push him away into the dark.
I had tried everything and it was worthless. I struggled and the chains became tighter. I tried to forget it and it just kept coming back. Why did I hope when there was none to begin with?
The last candles are flickering now. I can’t tell if I’m giving in or losing strength. The face is there, at the edge of the light. There are so many of them. They’re all the same. They’re smiling. They look so happy. I want to be happy too.
I can’t keep fighting it. It’s the truth, right? The end? No, a beginning? Yes, their beginning, to a better path. If you could only see, you’d know. This is what she meant. It’s so beautiful.
I’m ready.
It’s the only choice I have left.
