Tartarus is Hell

by marley

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tirek, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1821

Tirek was defeated and sent to Tartarus. Now, he felt, the worst was over. He is wrong.

Just a short little comedy. Locked in a cage in Tartarus would be bad but the entrance to the place is uncomfortably close to Ponyville. Certain ponies take it upon themselves to visit the prisoner that caused so much trouble.

Published 2014-10-17 14:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-17 14:40:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Tartarus is Hell by marley

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

Deep in the bowels of Tartarus, a shriveled creature sat in a cage. Once he had been the most powerful

creature to ever walk the land of Equestria, now he was a prisoner of the very creatures that he held in

contempt. Outside his cage sat a bored looking blue pegasus who held a long stick. She was just out of his reach, which hardly mattered since she could easily beat him in a fight now that he was diminished.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

Had it not been him as the object of the pegasus' annoying torture, Tirek would have admired her persistence. She consistently stopped by four days a week for an hour or so just to bother him. Once she just laid there and stared at him. She banged on the ribs of his cage in a rhythmic fashion, slowly, like a dripping faucet. It was always something new, simple and petty. Today it was the stick.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

She was not his worst visitor, Tirek reflected. Better to be poked by a stick than listen to those insufferably long lectures from the purple alicorn. The other alicorns had not visited him except for Celestia who was more concerned with making sure he couldn't escape than with talking to him. Cadence had not come even once, content to just forget him. The dark one had not visited either, not in the flesh anyway. He dreaded going to sleep as he had no choice but to place himself at her mercy. Mercy. Mercy was apparently not a dominate trait in her. She had assured him that she would not grow bored with showing him every nightmare she could conceive of for a long, long time.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

His one time 'friend' Discord had stopped by to gloat and had brought him a small box that showed him what was happening in the world above. Out of shear boredom he had watched it for a while but came to realize that it showed only the most pleasant scenes from life in Equestria. Unicorns doing wondrous things with their magic, pegasi frolicking in the clouds and earth ponies gathering rich harvests met his gaze. Loving couples walked on sunny beaches or moonlit fields. Parents played with their foals. Celestia dispensed justice in Canterlot to the satisfaction of all. It was more than Tirek could stomach. He destroyed the box one day in a fit of rage. He regretted it afterward as it had sometimes showed hoofball games which he had found slightly entertaining even though the final score was never shown.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

Then there was that farmer. She pelted him with rotten apples until he was covered with sticky goo. That was bad enough but the decayed fruit attracted clouds of hellish flies that tormented him for days. She had only come that one time though and had not returned, apparently satisfied with her vengeance. The white unicorn had only come by once too and didn't stay long. She seemed genuinely appalled at the décor and, after calling him a greedy, selfish beast who got what he deserved, turned and left.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

The yellow one had been interesting. She had returned. The first time she had come with the white unicorn and had said nothing. The look on her face varied from horror to pity. Tirek found it perplexing that she took no pleasure in his fall. She returned alone about a week later bearing a few gifts. She gave him a pillow, a blanket and curtains. Curtains of all things! He'd shredded them and threw them on the floor of his cage. This provoked an unexpected reaction. She had fixed her eyes on him in a steely stare and gave him a good talking to.

“You! You're just mean you know that?” she had said. “Stealing everypony's magic, blowing up my friends home, knocking over trees and just making a big mess! Now you can't even accept a gift without throwing a tantrum. I worked hard on those curtains and you just torn them up. Well, you can just sit here and think about what you did. If you want anypony to care about you again, you'd better change your attitude mister!”

She left in a huff. Tirek had actually felt bad about the curtains, and not in a good way. What was this hidden power or strength she had? He hadn't felt it when he took her magic. Perhaps it was just part of her pegasus nature; they were always a feisty bunch.

Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke

And persistent. Very persistent. The fallen demigod sighed. This wouldn't last much longer. He could tell that she was becoming bored. He heard some hoofsteps approaching. It was a bouncy sort of beat, unlike the sounds usually heard in Tartarus. 'Oh no,' thought Tirek.

Poke, Poke...

“Oh hi, Pinkie Pie,” said Rainbow Dash. “What brings you down here?”

“Hi Dashie,” replied Pinkie Pie. “I just thought I'd try to cheer up Mr. Grumpy Pants...again.” She giggled.

“Good luck with that,” said Rainbow Dash. She laid her stick aside, out of Tirek's reach. “I'll get going then. Yep, nothing like going for a flight in the clouds, free as a bird.” She sneered at Tirek who rolled his eyes. “After that I think I'll get something to eat and maybe take a nap,” she continued. “Sure is nice to have some free time on my hooves so I can DO WHATEVER I WANT!”

Tirek grimaced at the last comment which Rainbow Dash had shouted as close to his ear as she could manage. This elicited a grim smile from his tormenter. He reproached himself silently, realizing that any response would only encourage the pegasus. Rainbow Dash, however, was not his immediate problem. The Pink One had come.

Rainbow Dash said farewell to Pinkie Pie and flew away. Tirek looked after her with longing; longing to leave this place and longing to throttle Rainbow Dash. He turned to look at the Pink One. She was staring at him as if deep in thought. He stared back.

The staring contest didn't last long. Pinkie Pie broke into a grin and suddenly produced a cannon from... who knows where.

“I know what you need, Tirek,” she said, happily. “A PARTY!”

Tirek looked down the barrel of the weapon feeling that his time had come at last. 'Thank you, whatever gods there may be,' he thought. He closed his eyes and waited for the end. He briefly wondered where he would go when he died, seeing that he was already in Tartarus. One of the little incongruities of life, he supposed.

He was quite surprised when the cannon discharged and he failed to die. Opening his eyes, Tirek found himself covered in confetti, streamers and cupcakes. He sighed again. Death had been too much to hope for.

“Oops!” said Pinkie Pie, “shouldn't have put the cupcakes in the cannon. Still taste good though and I brought all kinds of goodies too. Here's some candy! And here's some punch and some cookies. Ooh! And cake, you can't have a party without cake!”

As she had spoken, Pinkie Pie had heaped what she brought along for the party into Tirek's cage. The would be tyrant soon found himself up to his shoulders in sweet treats, a pitcher of punch balanced precariously atop the pile. There was enough food for a party with a dozen guests.

“Am I the only guest?” asked Tirek. He tried to snarl but his voice had been reduced to a pathetic squeak.

“No silly,” said Pinkie Pie. “I brought Gummy along. He just loves a party!”

Tirek looked around but saw no one else. When he looked back at Pinkie Pie he was startled to find a small alligator inches from his muzzle. It was jerked away before he could react. He tried to sit down but couldn't due to the quantity of food in his cage. How had one pony brought all this stuff into Tartarus?

“I don't,” said Tirek.

“Well, maybe that's your problem,” said Pinkie Pie. “You need to laugh more and have some fun. You need to get out of this whole 'I'm going to take over the world and be super powerful and enslave everypony else' thing. That's just not nice and if you're not nice than no one will be nice to you and if no one's nice to you then you can't be happy and if you can't be happy then you do mean things and end up trapped in a cage in Tartarus for all eternity!”

Pinkie Pie at last ran out of breath and stood panting as she stared at Tirek with wide eyes. Tirek regarded the pink pony with a mixture of shock and confusion. Pinkie noticed his expression.

“Too soon?” she asked.

“Ahhh...” said Tirek.

“Never mind,” continued Pinkie, “have something to eat or would you rather play a game? How about 'I spy'? I spy with my little eye something starting with 'R'.”

“Rock,” said Tirek. It was, after all, about the only thing in sight.

“Right!” cried Pinkie. “You're good at this. Now ask me one.”

“I think you've exhausted all the possibilities,” observed Tirek.

“I'll just have to think of something else then,” said Pinkie.

Over the next three hours Pinkie Pie tried everything she could think of to make the creature smile but nothing worked. Once, during a lengthy recital of her favorite words, she thought she had him but it turned out that he was only laughing manically as he tried to stuff bits of torn curtain into his ears. At last she gave up but she promised to return if she thought of anything that might cheer him up.

Alone once more, Tirek pushed some of the treats through the bars of the cage so that he could at least sit down. He morosely picked up a bit of cake and began to eat. The punch was still there, though some had sloshed over the edge making a sticky mess on the floor of the cage. He rescued the blanket that Fluttershy had given him and hung it over one of the top rails of the cage.

Utterly exhausted, he rested his head on a pile of candy and tried to sleep. At this point, he reasoned, even the Dark Alicorn's nightmares would not seem so bad. He had barely closed his eyes when a sound disturbed him. It was a high pitched buzz.

The flies had returned.

Author's Note

Did Tirek get off too easy in the show? I don't know but i think that some ponies might want to get some vengeance on a personal level. Please, someone, animate Rainbow Dash poking Tirek with a stick.