May the Best Mare Win!

by SevenWonders

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack
Length: 4073

Rainbow Dash needs a date to Pinkie's Hearts & Hooves Day Party. And what better way to find one than a little competition?

In an attempt to expand Twilight Sparkle's social interactions, Pinkie Pie decides to throw a Hearts & Hooves Day party -- dates required. This proves to be a problem for a certain rainbow-maned pegasus who can only attend with a pony as awesome as she is. Rainbow Dash decides to hold a competition for a date, but soon realizes that speed, agility, and style don't necessarily mean love.

Published 2014-10-18 03:00:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-18 03:00:08 UTC

A Couple's Party

There were a lot of things she could have occupied her mind with. There was Tank and his flying device and how it sort of made this weird clicking noise when they reached a certain altitude. Or that athletic line Rarity had designed that she (of all the ponies out there) was supposed to model. Man, she was really dreading that. And then there was the way her rainbow streams in her home would sometimes mix. Which was terrible really. There were some colors that just shouldn't blend--even she knew that. But even the possibility of prancing around in some dumb outfit or dunking her head in a river of multicolored goop seemed completely more awesome than what she was dealing with now.

Really, it shouldn’t have been more than a brief flicker in her mind—a quick thought that rushed through and then out like the wind sifting through her feathers mid-flight. “Celestia, what’s wrong with me?” She rolled over on the cloud, flopping onto her stomach and letting her wings fall lax on her side. I mean, it’s just a party. Pinkie’s really just throwing it for Twilight. She turned again, still uncomfortable. Her wings folded over her like a blanket. “And it’s not like everypony there is going with somepony else.” That thought actually made her sit up. Sure, it was designated nap-after-bucking-clouds time, but the sudden realization had her wide awake. “Gotta confirm.”

Luckily for her, she was on a cloud right above Sweet Apple Acres. It was a prime spot really. The Apple Family needed the sun for their trees, and she loved the feel on her back while she snoozed. Plus nothing beat the smell of the pie or fritters or cider pluming from the Apple house.

“AJ!” She screamed, over excited, perhaps even for her. The fact that her favorite nap spot may have been close to a specific orange earth pony, didn’t go unnoticed by her either. Her hooves touched ground right beside the farm pony, who was fiercely staring at a tree. “AJ?” The pegasus looked at her friend, slightly concerned. “Applejack? Uhh…staring at the apples won’t make them fall.”

“I know that.” But the earth pony continued to stare. “They just won’t do it. No matter how much I buck ‘em.” Her green eyes narrowed, making the blue pegasus next to her flinch.

She flapped her wings, getting lift again. “Well, if you can’t get them down there, I can…”

“Wait, Dash!”

And the pegasus did, falling back down. “What?”

Applejack shook her head, the Stetson moving with it. “They’re not ripe yet. No point in forcing something to fall when it just plain won’t. Just thought they’d be ready by now.” She cracked a smile and turned to her friend. “What’s going on, Sugarcube?”

“Uhh…” What was going on again? “Oh…Oh yeah! You know that thing Pinkie’s planning? For Hearts and Hooves Day?”

For whatever reason, Applejack turned away and started walking towards the next apple tree in the row. “Eeyup.”

Rainbow took to the air again, staying relatively close to the ground, and followed her friend. “Well…I was sort of wondering if you were going with anypony.”

And at that, the earth pony went completely rigid. Her rear was still facing her cyan friend, and Rainbow decided to change that. Man, she’s weird today. She flew to face Applejack head on, but the farm pony looked away. “Are you sunburned or something? You’re so red!”

“Am not!” Applejack hit away Rainbow’s hoof which was nearing her cheeks. “I mean…I guess so. Big Mac always warns me, but I always figure my hat would be enough.”

“Guess not. I can amp up the cloud coverage if you want.”AJ made no move to answer. Rainbow landed, still grinning at her friend’s flushed face. “But back to my point. Hearts and Hooves Day. You. Are you going with anypony?”

Applejack was scraping at the ground with her hoof, still avoiding eye contact. “Well, gosh, RD. I reckon the answer is no.”

“Oh! Awesome!”

Her head snapped up at that. “It’s awesome?”

“Sure is! I’m not going with anypony either.”

The farm pony had a small grin. “You aren’t?”

“Nope! Phew, for a minute there I thought I’d be the only pony. Well, thanks AJ.”

Her friend’s excitement seemed to quickly bubble down to confusion. “Wait…what?”

“I’m taking a poll. You’re not going with anypony, but we all know that Twilight is supposed to be asking that random stallion from the Crystal Empire. Isn’t that the whole reason Pinkie’s doing this thing?”

Applejack’s snout drooped. “I…I…suppose.”

“So that’s one to one. I need a whole count. I’ll see you soon, okay? Want me to keep you posted on the results?”

The farm pony only nodded before Rainbow Dash took off.

“See you soon!”

She felt a little bad leaving AJ when the mare seemed so down. Must be those apples not falling. But Rainbow had a job to do—no, not a job, but a mission. She figured she had to go to Rarity’s sooner rather than later and try on whatever itchy outfit she had made for her. The flight to Carousel Boutique was quick, especially with her speed. Rainbow Dash knocked on Rarity’s front door and was instantly met with a smiling unicorn, glasses on the tip of her muzzle.

“My dear! Come in, come in! I need your expert opinion!”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “My…what?”

But soon she was pushed rather than asked into the fashion salon and dropped into a chair by the surprisingly strong unicorn. Pages and pages occupied Rarity’s hands, and she shoved various ones into Rainbow’s face. “I think I like the amount of texture in this design. It would have a little…je na sais quoi. Don’t you think? But oh…this one is nice too. The stripe down the side is so flattering and would really give a stark contrast against the sky. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Rainbow grabbed both designs with her hooves. “You know I don’t know anything about this stuff.”

“I know that dear. But I still would like you’re opinion.”

The pegasus shrugged. This type of thing had never interested her. “I don’t know. I guess they’re both cool.”

Rarity gave a knowing smile. “Can’t be cooler?”

“I wouldn’t go that far…” She focused her pink eyes harder on the pages. “But since you’re asking and since I’m guessing this is supposed to be for flying, definitely go with the stripe. Any added weight doing that whole…texture thing isn’t good for speed.”

The idea seemed to penetrate deep with Rarity, as if a light bulb went off and exploded in her head. “Why yes! Of course! How silly of me. It must be as aerodynamic as possible, especially if this is a speed design. And surface area must be cut down to a minimum. Otherwise the air resistance…”

Rainbow patted the unicorn on the shoulder, interrupting. “Glad I could help.”

“It’s much appreciated. But if you came here to try on a sample, I’m afraid my shipment of material hasn’t arrived yet from Canterlot. I haven’t been able to make any prototypes.”
Rainbow flew up from the chair and hovered right above eye level with Rarity. The fashion designer had obviously been working hard. Sketches were all over every inch of desk, the drawings on them –for once—not frilly, giant dresses or bedazzled hats, but sleek, track suit like outfits for all types of ponies.

“It’s cool that you’re doing this Rares.”

The unicorn shrugged and trotted to tidy up a chair or two “I’m well aware of my popularity for glamorous, red carpet events like the Gala, but the everyday pony isn’t going to wear those types of things regularly. I needed to expand.”

Rainbow got that much. “But why sports clothes?”

“Athletic wear is increasing in demand. Many celebrities are even designing their own lines, and as the best young flier in Equestria as my model, I thought why not?”

Well, that was fair enough as far as Rainbow was concerned. “I’m sure they’ll sell faster than Apple Family cider with me as the face of the brand.”

Rarity laughed at that. “Let’s hope so. Darling, I think I’ll have an outfit prepared in three days if my shipment comes. Why not come back around then? Not that I don’t enjoy your visits.”

“It’s cool, Rares. I actually came here to ask you a question.”

“Oh.” That definitely got the unicorn interested. “What’s that?”

“Are you taking anypony to Pinkie’s Hearts and Hooves party thing?”

Rarity seemed to take this opportunity to start measuring Rainbow, starting with her hooves and going up to her withers and then snout to tail. “Well, I wouldn’t say anypony. 12 hands, Rainbow. I really thought you were taller…”

“Nope. And what do you mean not anypony? Does that mean no? Applejack isn’t going with anypony either.”

Rarity stopped writing down Rainbow’s measurements on a notepad on her desk. “She isn’t?”

“Nope again. So she’s not, and I’m not, but I definitely know Twi’s gonna bring Flash Sentry. I want to get a whole picture going on here.” She tapped her head for emphasis.

Rarity cleared her throat. “I am going with someone.”

“Oh.” Rainbow blinked. “Wait…someone?”

“Yes. Spike asked me. The poor dear. He was so nervous, and I just couldn’t say no to Spikey Wikey.”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped a bit. “So Spike is your special somepony? I mean…special someone?” Man that sounds weird.

Rarity laughed again. “Oh, no dear! He’s just a baby! But it was so sweet of him to ask.” Rainbow must have looked down or sad or something because Rarity reached up and put a hoof on her shoulder as the pegasus lowered back to the ground. “But I’m sure you can find a nice mare, Rainbow. There’s plenty of time.”

“Three days?” Rainbow was a little more doubtful. It was Wednesday and the party was Friday. So really only two days. Factor in napping and flying and cloud kicking… “Hey, who says I want to go with anypony? I’m awesome enough to have fun on my own.”

Rarity nodded slowly. “Why of course, dear. But you know Pinkie had to make the party for couples. It was the only way to convince Twilight Sparkle to ask that dashing pegasus from the Crystal Empire.”

“Well then I won’t go.”

Rarity gasped. “No, no! You simply must! This is a big day for our socially awkward friend. Could you really abandon her? What if she needs you!” Rarity placed a hoof over her face, and Rainbow Dash steadied herself for Rarity’s, what she liked to call, drama-queen-mode. “What if she spills a drink? What if she gets all flustered dancing? How could you…”

She felt manipulated, but Rainbow had to admit that any questioning of her element made her just want to prove it more. “You now I won’t, Rares.”

“Good.” The drama-queen quickly vanished. Rainbow sighed as Rarity calmly trotted away from her. “Now that that’s settled, go ask some nice mare to attend the festivities. Anypony would be lucky to go with you.”

At that, Rainbow was shoved out of the boutique in a similar fashion to how she was shoved in. Her butt scraped across the tile and soon dirt as the unicorn opened the door with her horn. “Ow! Rares! What’s up with you?!”

“Now, Rainbow.” She looked at her seriously after turning around, placing both hooves on her shoulders and took a deep breath. “When I found out that you…you...”

The multicolored pegasus sighed, unamused. “Rarity, you can say it.”

The fashion designer inhaled. “Flew for the other team, I must admit it came as a complete shock.”

Rainbow didn’t see why. She never denied preferring mares over stallions, even briefly touched upon it on multiple occasions. She never officially “came out of the stall” per say—more just never hid who she was in the first place. The stall door was never closed, and being a mare and liking mares was no stranger to her than being a pegasus. “Well, that makes one of us.”

“And I can see if you’re nervous about bringing a mare to a dance with mostly straight couples.”

“I’m really not.”

“And it must be so daunting to try and ask out someone of the same sex! How do you even…”

That was it. Rainbow face-hoofed and shook Rarity off her. “I just don’t like anypony like that, okay? I don’t have a special somepony, and I don’t think I need to find one just to go to some lame dance.” She hovered in the air, realizing her voice was a bit rougher than she intended. “Sorry, Rarity. I didn’t nap my full 4 hours and I think I’m a little cranky.”

“No apology necessary, darling. But why don’t you talk with Pinkie Pie? I’m sure you don’t have to go with somepony.”

“No, No! You have to go with somepony. That’s the whole point of a couple’s party, Dashie. How can it be a couple’s party if everypony doesn’t go in a couple? Then it would just be a couple, couple, single party. Well fifty ponies did RSVP, so really it would be a couple, couple, couple, couple, couple...”

Rainbow slammed a hoof over the pink pony’s mouth, leaning over the counter of Sugar Cube Corner. “I think I get it.”

“Phew! Good! I was losing count. Do you want a cupcake?”

Rainbow shook her head. “Nah, Applejack said yesterday I could swing by the farm in the afternoon and try some new pie recipe. Gotta keep the stomach running on empty until then.” A thought clicked. “Wait, does that mean she can’t go either?”

“Is she not bringing another pony? Because that doesn’t sound like a couple. And if it’s not a couple it can’t…”

“That doesn’t seem fair, Pinkie. We’re your friends.” Rainbow slumped on the counter and then went stock straight. “Wait…who’s your special somepony?”

Pinkie Pie giggled and gobbled up the forgotten sprinkled cupcake in front of Dash. “Why everypony is, Dashie! But I can’t bring everypony. Couples only come in twos, you know? So when the first six asked me…”

Her pink eyes widened. “SIX?! Pinkie, you’re telling me six stallions asked you to this thing? You only sent out the invitations last week!”

“No! Only four stallions asked me. And then there was the mare and that buffalo that was passing through town. He was really nice. I should have thrown him a welcome party, but technically he isn’t staying in Ponyville. Maybe there’s still time to throw him a temporary welcome party or a sorry-I-didn’t-pick-you-for-the-couple’s-party party. Doesn’t that just sound like super duper fun?”

Rainbow had pretty much ignored everything her pink friend had just said. “Yeah, great, whatever. Point is Pinkie; I don’t see why I have to go with anypony if I don’t feel that way.”

The party pony leaned over the counter, examining Rainbow Dash closely with her blue eyes. They seemed to have entered a sudden staring contest, until Dash got so uncomfortable with the lack of blinking and the proximity, that she finally raised her hoof in her friend’s face. “Quit it!”

Pinkie Pie leaned back and threw a cupcake in her mouth. “There’s a reason why I’m so good at pranks, Dashie. I know you are too. But laughter is my thing, you know? Just like yours is never ever, ever forever leaving your friends. It’s just what we’re good at. I can’t do magic and I can’t really talk to animals and there is absolutely positively wibbly no way that I could share all my cupcakes like some other pony we know.”

Rainbow tapped the counter. “Point?”

Pinkie Pie had an unusual smile on her face; it was almost unnerving. “Well it works the other way too. You’re a great liar! I almost believe you!”

“Because it’s true.” Rainbow ignored the coughing ponies behind her. The line at the bakery had grown since she first started her conversation with her friend. “I don’t.”

“Aw, Dashie. It’s okay. I won’t ask who.” She moved another cupcake with her snout across the counter. “That’s your business. And your business is secret.” She made a lock key motion over her mouth and mimed burying the key into the planks of the bakery. “I’ll just plan a party for it when you want me to.”

“Great.” She glanced at the cupcake. It had blue frosting and rainbow sprinkles, and Rainbow wondered if her friend had designed this one to mimic her. “Thanks, Pinkie.”

“Mhm. No problem. On the house. Just find a date to bring to the party soon. I want all my friends to be there!”

The pegasus downed the cupcake in one bite, causing her stomach to grumble. Yum. It tastes like cinnamon and… “Wait. There’s no way all of us will, Pinkie. “

The pink pony blinked. “What do you mean?

“Have you met Fluttershy?”

“No way. No. WAY!”

The yellow pegasus inched back away from the blue one. Rainbow literally dashed towards her, still flying, and stared at the cowering pony. “You have to tell me all about him. What’s his name? Where did you meet him?”

“Rainbow…”

“Did he ask you? Did you ask him? Nah, you wouldn’t do it. So did he just like, say it or did he take you somewhere and ask you all mushy like?”

“I…I…”

“Well?” The realization that her enthusiasm was terrifying her friend caused Rainbow Dash to take a step back. “Sorry, Fluttershy. It’s just…” She grinned. “Ever since I knew you in flight school, you were always so terrified to talk to colts.”

The memory seemed to calm Fluttershy down. Her wings unfolded, and the timid pony lifted her head to look at her friend. “You didn’t have a problem.”

Rainbow smirked. If anything, colts had a problem talking to her—which was expected when you were a young, skinny filly who could fly circles around them.

The poor pegasus’ wings curved into her own body as she inched away from her friend—embarrassed or afraid, Dash wasn’t too sure. Though knowing her old friend, it was most definitely some combination of both. “I…I actually never met him.”

“Huh?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “You mean it’s like a blind date or something?”

Fluttershy nodded rapidly and hid her face under a mess of pink hair. She muttered a high pitched “Uh huh.” And kept her head down, clearly embarrassed.

“ 'Shy, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

An eye emerged from the pink mane. “It isn’t?”

“Hay, no. My first date was a blind date, remember?”

If anyone of her friends would know this story, it would be Fluttershy. And judging by the pony’s reddening face, she did remember. “It was with that grey Pegasus in our Precautionary Air Maneuvering class. I…I don’t remember his name.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Sky Rider or High Rider…It doesn’t matter. Point is, not all blind dates are bad ones.”

Her red face turned deeper, almost taking on a purple color. “Didn’t...you...uh...sorry to bring this up, Rainbow Dash, but didn’t you…”

Rainbow laughed at her struggling friend. The evening had gone okay by--her terms anyway. Sure, he had ordered for her—which was weird. And sure, she wasn’t attracted to him at all—which was weird again for a young filly not really sure of herself yet. And sure, she had punched him in the muzzle when he draped his wing over her and expected her to make out with him.

So not cool.

“So maybe that’s not the best example I got. But you’ll be fine Fluttershy. Better than fine. You’re one of the awesomest ponies I know, and any stallion will see that in a sec.”

The yellow Pegasus relaxed her wings and gave her friend a wide smile. “Thank you, Rainbow. Would you like some tea? I need to boil water for Angel’s bath.”

Tea and bunny bathwater didn’t really sound too great to her. “Nah, I’ll pass. I actually have to meet Applejack soon. Promised her I’d try some new pie recipe.”

Her friend gave a soft giggle. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow was suspicious. Any weird cue from Fluttershy—the most demure pony she knew—usually meant she was hiding something much bigger. “Why is that funny?”

“Oh! It isn’t. It’s ever so kind of her to let you try a new recipe. I…I…just…I…”

She was definitely not the element of patience. “Just say it.”

“Well if it were me trying out a new recipe, I’d ask Pinkie Pie to be the first. She loves to bake and would probably offer great advice. Not that you wouldn’t! It’s just…It’s just…”

“I got you, ‘Shy. I guess that would make sense, but AJ's always let me have the first taste.” Rainbow didn’t really put that much thought into it. To be honest, it wasn’t the first or second or even twentieth time that she got these not-so-subtle hints from her friends about her and her apple bucking friend. She may be up in the clouds most of the day, but she wasn’t a complete airhead. Yeah, she found Applejack cute. Yeah, they both got along really, really well. But they were friends. The best of friends. And AJ liked stallions anyway—something Rainbow couldn’t change. It kind of bothered her that her friends didn’t get that. “Well anyway. I guess I’ll be taking the extra shift on Hearts and Hooves Day since you guys are all partying it up.”

“You mean, you’re not going?”

She saw the disappointed look immediately. “I’m not allowed to go unless I have a date.” Rainbow gave a sigh. “Pinkie is so random.”

“You know Twilight. She’s…shy.”

Rainbow grinned. “You can say that again. And that’s great. I’m glad all of you guys are going. And please keep me posted if she needs me or anything. But I rather not just bring some random pony and expect to hang out with them all night long.” The blue Pegasus shivered. “They could be completely uncool. Totally ruin my image.”

“You know, Rainbow, that reminds me of…”

“I mean, I guess I could try to find a mare that is almost as awesome as me.” She started to pace, hoof under her chin. “Someone who’s decently radical. But also has speed and agility and style.”

“Rainbow, this is almost like the time when you wanted…”

“And of course they’d need to fly. Otherwise how could they pick me up at my place? Unless I’d have to get them… but being a pegasus is always a good starting point…” She was lost in her thoughts for second as she saw Fluttershy impatiently exhale and grab the boiling kettle from her fireplace. “What were you going to say ‘Shy?”

“Oh…nothing.” She took a porcelain bowl and poured the steaming water into it as a scowling bunny watched on. “Just that this reminds me of the time you had your pet competition.”

Rainbow blinked. “My what now?”

“Oh gosh. It was all so exciting. All those cutesy wootsy animals wanting to be your pet! And then Tank shows his true loyalty when you got in that terrible accident!”

“Ohh that.” Rainbow smiled. “Yeah that was pretty cool.” And then her pink eyes widened. “Wait, what a great idea, Fluttershy!” She swooped and gave the yellow pegasus a hug, practically causing the kettle to fall. “I’ll hold a contest!”

Fluttershy managed to put the hot kettle down away from her and Dash and mutter, “But…but...”

“They’ll compete in all the necessary categories! They’ll show me everything they’ve got and the winner gets to be my date for Pinkie’s party!” She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought of this sooner. It was completely foalproof. Not only would she get to go to the party, but she was making sure she’d be going with someone that was completely awesome! “Spread the word! Right out here. At noon. We’ll gather a bunch of mares that will be dying to go on a date with me.”

“But don’t you think that they might not…”

“Thanks, Fluttershy! You’re a great pal.” The excited pegasus was soon out of the small tree house leaving her friend confused and terrified of what she had just started.

Author's Note

Well, here goes nothing. My first post for this fandom, and I am terrified about it. Thanks for reading!!