Chapters Everypony at the school was excited today. Rumor has it that a new student from Las Pegasus would be arriving to Ponyville and will be attending the school. The only pony who wasn't excited or determined to meet the new kid like the others was the self proclaimed Queen of the School Diamond Tiara. Unlike the others waiting for a new student, she was waiting for a new snot nosed brat for her and Silver Spoon to abuse and tease.
Today was Monday, like every Monday morning the kids would start their history section of their day, then move on to math and science. But today was different, the time for history was taken up by the introduction of the new kid.
All the colts and fillies locked their eyes on the young colt. His name was Dark Humor, he was a unicorn with black fur and had a dull grey shading to his eyes. His mane was spiky and was a beautiful bright shade of purple. He wore a grey long sleeved jacket and had a face of boredom plastered on. He was a handsome one too, all the fillies couldn't take their eyes off of the colt while the colts tried not to look at him. The only filly who didn't seem to care was Diamond Tiara who angrily grunted at the fact that this introduction was taking longer than it needed to be.
Finally after a few more minutes of introducing the new kid, he was able to sit down. And to Diamond's dismay, he was seated right behind her. After a long while of Miss Cherilee explaining both the major and minor details of the Griffon and Batpony war. It was finally lunch, and this was Diamond's time to harass and tease the other students and especially the Crusaders.
When lunch began, Diamond and Silver Spoon tried to look for the Crusaders but couldn't find them anywhere. Even though this did frustrate Diamond but then she thought that it would be a perfect time to check out this Dark Humor kid. As she walked towards the lunch benches looking for the young stallion she was surprised to literally bump into him.
"Hey! Watch where you're going jerk!" Diamond shouted angrily.
"Jeez lady, calm down! It was an accident!" Dark said with sarcasm. This angered Diamond even more, she never liked it when a another pony talked back to her in a rude way.
"How dare you! Do you even know who I am?"
"Do you know how much I don't give a shit?" Dark Humor replied getting a gasp from the students surrounding the two. Silver Spoon tried to get Diamond away from Dark and try to patch it all up but Diamond kept going.
"I'm going to tell that you cursed!" Diamond shouted, only getting a small chuckle from the young colt.
"Oh, that wasn't cursing. Believe me when I say I've said meaner things before. Besides, consider yourself lucky. I'm giving you a warning here, but if you get on my bad side again, hehehe, well you're going to need some counseling when I'm done with you." Diamond was surprised at this. Nopony has ever been so rude to her before. That was because everypony was scared of her, but not this one. This young colt had the bravery to even threaten her.
"Hey! Why don't you just back off and go back to where ever hell hole you came from!" Silver Spoon shouted, she was never one to get into Diamond's arguments but she wasn't going to let her friend be threatened like that.
"Or what? What do you think you're gonna do?" Before Silver could react, Rumble one of the other colts from class stood in front of Dark Humor.
"Dude, just back off! Don't make me ask twice!" He threatened, once again Dark Humor only chuckled at this scene. He actually had a colt trying to stand up to him. This really got all the other student's attention, they knew when a fight would break down, and they knew that one would happen right now.
"Oh ho ho, looks like we got a white knight here! Look pendejo, why don't you just get outta my way. Before I shove my hoof so far up your ass that I'll wear you like a damn boot." Without hesitation, Rumble quickly swung a left hook at Dark Humor knocking him to the ground. But the odd thing was that when he fell to the ground, he was laughing. He quickly shot back up and continued, "Hey, you wanna know the secret to pain?" This confused Rumble, he rubbed the back of his head in confusion before feeling a powerful hoof rushing across his muzzle. He was knocked to the ground but it didn't end there. Dark Humor took Rumble's wing and pulled it back. So far to where if you were close enough you could hear cracking.
"Listen Maricón, one more inch of pulling then I dislocate your wing! Now let me finish my sentence. The secret to pain is..." Dark Humor quickly let go of Rumble's wing and kicked him over with his magic. "The secret to pain, is just don't feel it!" Then Dark Humor jumped and landed hoof first on Rumble's stomach jabbing his left hoof into his stomach knocking the wind out of the young Pegasus. The whole crowd gasped, it all happened in a quick flash. Dark Humor quickly got up and stared at the small crowd that has formed. He quickly thought of this witty comment,
"And that's are pain lesson for today. Any questions?"
~***~
Diamond and Silver Spoon walked home together all the time after school. But today was more quiet and awkward, Diamond was still amazed and and shocked at the events earlier today. How could anypony beat Rumble in a fight? Rumble was known for not losing a single school fight, he was also known for being the toughest kid and most respected in school. Now he'll be lucky to get respect from Snips and Snails.
"Stupid Humor, what makes him think he could lay out my coltfriend!?" Diamond exclaimed making her companion confused.
"Rumble's your coltfriend? I thought he was dating Scootaloo."
"Well he implied that they were through." Diamond replied
"No, no I think he's still going out with her." Silver replied still sounding as if she's solving an unsolvable math equation.
"Well either way, that Dark Humor guy is going to pay! And I know just how." Diamond said with a devilish grin.
~***~
Meanwhile Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were in their club house discussing how they could use Dark Humor to their advantage.
"Girls, do you know how great this could be!?" Scootaloo exclaimed excitingly.
"I don't know Scootaloo, didn't you see what Dark did? He nearly broke Rumble's wing. Shouldn't you be worried for him at least" Sweetie reasoned but Scootaloo had a cocky face on.
"C'mon Sweetie Belle everypony in class knows that Rumble and I aren't a thing anymore."
"Ah thought you two looked cute together though" Applebloom added with a playful tone. Scootaloo obviously embarrassed frowned at her fellow crusader.
"Anyway... I think we could use this Dark Humor guy to our advantage, if he could keep Diamond and Silver at bay then it would make our lives 25% more easier!" Scootaloo reasoned but the others weren't liking the idea so much.
"Ah still don' know Scoots, ain't it wrong to use ponies to make yer life easier?" Applebloom said with a concerned tone.
"Yeah, I really think this kid is bad news Scootaloo. What if he was a bully from Las Pegasus?" Sweetie asked sounding more nervous at the thought of three bullies in school.
"It takes a bully to beat a bully, I think that Dark Humor could help us!" Scootaloo tried repeating.
"Well what do you want us to do? Walk up to him and say, Hey Dark Humor we just saw you beat the crap outta Rumble and you nearly broke his wing so could you be our bodyguard against Diamond Tiara" Sweetie argued.
"Ah agree with Sweetie Belle, if Humor does get to the top and Diamond is left at the bottom nothin' will change I tell ya what! Dark will just become another Diamond Tiara." Applebloom said with concern.
"A more dangerous and hurtful one at that." Sweetie added.
"Just watch, I'll get him on our side! I'm tellin' ya girls! We'll be on top and the bullying will end!" Scootaloo said with excitement.
"Scootaloo" Sweetie said.
"Yeah Sweetie?"
"Are you going power crazy?" Asked Sweetie
"No I'm not." Scootaloo exclaimed.
"You are too." Applebloom argued playfully.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
Author's Note
Hey guys it's just a little story I'm making on the sidelines so don't be expecting chapter updates as common as I would make them for other stories. Believe me if I were able to this story would already be half done but Changeling or Not (Remake) is taking a while, not only that I'm working on a collab with BloodSweatAndTea. So like I said, just a little side project I'm working on. Hope you enjoy it.
As Diamond and Silver walked, Diamond was trying her hardest to plot her revenge. How could she get even with Dark? He nearly broke Rumble's wing, in order to tie up with that event she would most likely have to send a pony to the hospital. As she kept thinking, Silver was pitching ideas for Diamond to use. But every idea she threw at Diamond would either get rejected or judged. With Diamond’s skill of dissecting an idea and finding everything that could go wrong, she had little options. As they kept walking Silver would try to make small talk but would always get shot down with Diamond’s silent muttering or just being flat out ignored.
Finally, after thinking some more, Silver finally came up with an idea.
“Hey, Diamond! Remember how Dark would speak Spanish? And he did have a Spanish accent, why don’t we pull the racial card?”
Diamond quickly looked at her companion with all attention.
“You may be onto something Sil!”
“Yeah, think about it! Spanish ponies are known throughout the news and social media to be one of the most easily offended ponies out there, next to the Zebra republic! If we pull some stereotypes on Dark, maybe his strong pony persona will be weakened!”
“You’re right, all we need to do is think of some Spanish pony stereotypes to pull on him! But they have to be creative, they can’t be the original stuff they hear every day.” Diamond thought long and hard, what names could she choose, or maybe even create?
Then she remembered a book that was in her mansion library called, “The Racial History of Spanish Ponies”
Maybe if she read that book, she could get some good ideas for some names. Apparently their thinking caused a lot of time to pass, before Diamond knew it she was waving goodbye to Silver Spoon as she trotted home that was near by.
Diamond could have asked Silver for some assistance with studying up but she was always told, if you wanna do something right, do it yourself. Silver Spoon was a good friend and all, but Diamond knew that she was sometimes the weakest teammate.
See, for their entire life, they've been friends but now that they were turning into teens Diamond realized that they needed to step up their game if they wanted to be on top of the school until the graduate. As hard as Silver tried, her insults were always bland, used, or just not good. Sure she had some good ones here and there but she fails to realize that when you get older, your grammar must mature along with you.
Diamond has sometimes resorted to cursing other ponies out before but that was one rare occasion. Usually she never had to do such an act, but she did do it a couple times here and there. The reason why she threatened Dark for saying ‘shit’ is because she was so used to having ponies tremble before her instead of standing up to her. And hearing such vulgar coming out of his muzzle was the icing on the cake.
She entered the large wooden doors that lead into the foyer of her mansion. How she loved her home. The size, the shape, the constant shine to the floors, the echos of her hooves throughout the halls. She dropped her saddlebags at the door and rushed upstairs to the mansion library that was right next to her father’s office.
She opened the large shinny wooden doors to reveal three large walls full of books. She wasn't much of a reader, when ever she had to read or was told to read she would always have the servants read them to her.
She looked through all the books, from alphabetical order.
“Ah! Here it is!” She pulled out the semi-think book and looked at the cover title. It was a red, leather bound book with brown lettering on the cover.
“The Racial History of Spanish Ponies, by Reflective Page. Sounds like a total looser!” Diamond joked to herself. She carried the book with her mouth and walked out of the library. She scurried up the stairs to her bedroom. She entered through the large but smaller versions of the same shinny wood doors to her large room.
If you didn't live there, you would mistake her room for the master bedroom since it was so big. It was a pale pink all over, she had a queen sized bed with a large red and gold comforter. he slumped down on her bed and laid the book in front of her. She opened the book and began to read.
“Chapter 1, History and Culture.” Diamond read aloud. After reading for a few minutes, she suddenly became very interested in the novel. Why didn't she read these herself in the first place?
~***~
It was nearly 6:00 PM when she finished the story. It was a long book she admitted but it was quite enthralling.
She seemed to learn a lot from the book, like how the Spaniard ponies invaded the first natives of Las Pegasus for gold and slaves. Then after the history and culture of the Spanish Ponies, it went onto the royal history and status, then to the end of the Spanish Pony revolution when they lost the war against the Equestrian Empire. It was one of the shortest but deadliest Equestrian civil wars. Diamond was very impressed by the story of how Spanish earth ponies and unicorns beat the Equestrian army with farm tools like scythes, pitchforks, and other sharp tools that could inflict some damage defeated the Equestrian army.
But the next invasion, the Equestrian army was ready and armed better and they were able to slice through them like a knife through butter.
She learned of some holidays during the culture section like, Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos and Cinco de Mayo. Or 5th of May; the anniversary of the Spanish defense against the Equestrian Army. She even learned how the Cuteceañera originated from the Spanish culture and not the Equestrian culture.
Obviously her father lied to her. She would need to speak with him later.
She learned about the language, their religion and beliefs mostly Catholic. But finally she reached her destination in the book, the stories of the Spanish stereotype, their racial struggles and much more.
She learned how they replaced the Zebras from farming in the south of Equestria and parts of the North. How they were forced to work in gardens and farms for hours on end for little to nothing. They had to use a tool called the short hoof hoe. A tool that’s been banned in Equestria. It was banned because of a Spanish freedom speaker, Libertad de Expresion. Or in Equestrian; Free Speech.
But this gave her a full arsenal of nicknames for Dark, so now all she needed to do was wait for the weekend to be over and she can let it all out.
But, she didn't stop there she was so interested in the book, she actually read from cover to cover. When she finished she went back to the library and put it back on the shelf. As she did, she was called down to supper.
Knowing that she was able to retaliate and beat Dark at his own game, she was able to eat her meal without any problems.
When she finished, her meal she went back to the library and pulled out the Zebra Republic Racial History novel written by the same author. Since she was so interested in the Spanish Pony book, she decided to read the Zebra version before she went to sleep.
After reflecting on his name calling and previous insults trudged his way to the schoolhouse. By the time he got there, almost the whole class was in the front of the school all waiting for class to begin. When Dark arrived the loud talking and laughing halted and turned to a small murmur among the crowds. Dark only kept walking to the side of the school where hardly any students conversed. Right as he was about to turn the corner of the school the teacher Miss Cheerilee stopped him.
"And where are you going Mr. Humor?" She asked sounding slightly angry with the young stallion. Dark thought long and hard about what he would say next, then he thought of something he just had to do.
"Yo sólo iba a pasar el rato detrás de la escuela señora Cheerilee."
"Dark please don't play jokes, I know you speak Equestrian. Now come with me, we've been waiting for you!" She said in the same stern tone.
"Who's been waiting for me?" Cheerilee didn't answer but instead quickly glare at Dark. Was he in trouble? It wouldn't surprise him, what happened yesterday would surly get him in some sort of trouble. As he entered the classroom he was met with Rumble, his parents, Scootaloo, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. Dark heavily exhaled as he proceeded to enter the room. He took a seat next to Diamond Tiara, they were seated right in front of Cheerilee's desk, when she finally took her seat she began to speak.
"So, Dark Humor. Mind telling us what happened yesterday?" All eyes fell on Dark as he began to think of something to say. What could he do? Tell a lie? No, he was a fighter and a bad colt but he was never a liar. He would just have to confess.
"Fine... So yesterday." He told his story, exactly what happened, word for word. By the end of his tale a variety of emotional eyes still gazed at him. Some being angry, scared, disappointed or just plain surprised. After registering all the information Cherilee took a deep breath and continued.
"Well, you do realize that you'll have to apologize to all these ponies, then we'll discuss your punishment."
"Fine." Dark turned to the small group of ponies and continued his sentence. "I'm sorry for nearly breaking Rumble's wing, I'm sorry for insulting Scootaloo, and I'm sorry that I offended and insulted Diamond and Silver."
"That's better. Now can you all please excuse us? We must discuss his punishment." Cheerilee said sounding very professional, no different from her teaching voice. With some quick thank yous and goodbyes the small group left leaving Dark and Cheerilee in the class.
"So Mr. Humor, what punishment do you think you deserve?" Cheerilee asked still sounding very professional.
"Probably a letter home, maybe detention. I dunno." Dark said sounding disappointed in himself. He always hated moments like this, why couldn't he just stay out of trouble like other kids? Why did he be the one to bring home a teacher letter every other day?
"Well, the letter home and detention are a start. Now Dark, I know you can be a good kid. I expect this kind of behavior from Diamond and her friend but you? A new student? From what I've learned, you were quite the trouble maker back in Las Pegasus."
"That's not true. They're all liars." Dark interrupted.
"Please explain Mr. Humor." Cheerilee declared
"I've only been in trouble because I would always get caught in the crossfire Ms. Cheerilee. Always getting the punishment for other pony's wrong doings."
Cheerilee wrote something on a piece of paper, probably rewriting what he said planning to put it in her parent letter.
"Well, either way you still need to be punished. You will be sent home with a letter, but for detention you'll be joining me and a few other classmates for a special guest to talk to you about being bullies and how it's wrong to put others down and where you may end up and where the bullied will end up. And you're in luck because it's today after school. It'll be about 15 minutes long so when the guest is finished talking you will go home and get the letter I will write signed by a parent or guardian. Understand?"
"Yes Ms. Cheerilee." Dark said dully.
"Good, now let the other students class is ready." With a quick nod Dark got off his seat and opened the door and shouted that school was ready. All the faces looked at him and they all began to walk past him to their seats. But when Diamond passed Dark, she had an arrogant and cocky smirk on her muzzle. Making Dark wonder what that earth mare had in mind.
Once everypony was inside Dark took his seat and class began.
~***~
School rapped up quick and surprisingly without any problems. Dark was getting more and more suspicious of how Diamond was acting around him, she would always be evilly grinning, whenever Dark saw her staring at him she would quickly whisper into Silver's ear then they would giggle and laugh at whatever Diamond whispered.
When the bell rang for school to end, it was almost like a swarm of bees leaving at once. Dark still stayed in his seat waiting for his detention to begin and end. As he watched some of the other students rush out the doors, Cheerilee stopped a light pink earth pony with a tiara on her head.
Dark began to panic, was she seriously going to have Diamond Tiara stay in the class with him? She wouldn't do that, would she? Cheerilee pointed to the chair next to Dark and he realized that Cheerilee told Diamond to sit right next to him.
Dark groaned and screamed inside his skull as he watched Diamond slump down on her seat. Other than the two young ponies a couple other ponies sat in the class. A filly named Dinky who was known to say jokes but didn't know they could be hurtful was there, then the two dimwits of the class Snips and Snails sat near the back leaving Dark and Diamond in the front.
Finally when Cheerilee was finished with saying goodbyes to the students and parents of the students she went back inside and sat behind her desk.
"Welcome to detention students"
"I don't see why you have to "Welcome" us, we've been here since the begging of class" Dinky replied sounding confused and more innocent. Snips and Sails seemed to find that comment laughable leaving the little filly confused and asking why they were laughing.
"You're right Dinky, but for those who are new to our class I have to welcome them." Cheerilee replied respectfully.
"Well get on with it then!" Diamond demanded.
"Very well then Miss Tiara. Now today we're going to do something different, I've noticed that out of all the other students you all seem to be the most trouble making. Now I expect this out of Diamond, Snips, and Snails but to Dinky and Dark I am very surprised and disappointed. Both of you will be getting a letter home for your misbehaving. But anyways, today we have a special visitor to speak to you all. He's a traveling motivational speaker named Booming Vocals and he's been in the break room drinking coffee for about a couple hours so I'm going to let him take it from here." After her little speech Cheerilee went to the door that separated the class from the break room. After some muffled talking from the other room Miss Cheerilee came out along with an pale blue overweight stallion with thick black glasses.
His eyes were wide and disturbingly scanning the entire room. He was very energetic for someone his size. He began to speak.
"Alright, how's everypony? Good! Good! Good! Now, as your teacher probably told you, my name is Booming Vocals, and I am a Motivational Speaker! Now, let's get started by me giving you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about! First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a shed down by the river!"
As he continued the entire class was trying so hard not to laugh at his antics, Cheerilee was having a hard enough time as well.
"Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to Jack Squat!!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and living in a shed down by the river! Now, young stallion, what do you want to do with your life?"
Vocals went beside Snips who was still trying to stifle his laughing. He glanced at Snails who was also trying to hide his laughing. With a quick nod, Snips looked back at Vocals.
"I want to live in a shed down by the river." Not being able to hold it in anymore, both troublemakers began to historically laugh. Realizing what the young stallion said, Vocals began to play along.
"Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a shed down by the river when you're... living in a shed down by the river!" Going back to the front of the class, he continued his rant.
"Now, you kids are probably asking yourself, "Hey, Vocals, how can we get back on the right track?!" Well, as I see it, there is only one solution!" He paused, Cheerilee shaking off her laughter she finally realized that this might have been a bad idea. Rising from her seat, she was about to have Vocals stop his speech but his voice was more louder and powerful than hers.
"And that is for me to get my gear, move it on into here, 'cause I'm gonna bunk with you, buddy! We're gonna be buddies! We're gonna be pals!" Vocals got face to face with Dark Humor who was still trying not to laugh.
"We're gonna wrassle around! Ol' Vocals' gonna be your shadow! Here's Vocals, here's you! There's Vocals, there's you! Me and my buddies! My pals! My amigos! I'm gonna go get my gear!" Vocals headed for the door but was quickly stopped by Cheerilee.
"Uh, Vocals, thanks for all you've done! You don't need to come back, I'm sure the children got your point." Vocals looked back at Cheerilee.
"I don't give a rat's behind, 'cause I'm moving in! I'm sick and tired of living in a shed down by the river!" After yelling in her face, Vocals hurried away. Cheerilee quickly looked over the kids who were not trying to laugh anymore but instead were kinda worried.
"Um, children leave now! Uh, Dinky and Dark you too don't need a note just take this as a warning! Now get out of here before he comes back!" The students have never seen her so eager to have them leave. Not wanting to waste time all the students grabbed their bags and rushed out the door. The same went for Cheerilee, as soon as the last student left she was already packed and ready to go. Rushing out the door, she locked it and scurried off towards town.
~***~
Dark walked down the road towards his home, he couldn't stop laughing to himself about the event that happened during detention. As he kept trotting down the road he saw something out the corner of his eye. He looked towards it to be annoyed and angered to see what it was.
Diamond Tiara with a large scowl on her muzzle.
'Genial, justo lo que arruinó mi tarde. Permite sólo espero que esto se hace rápido.' Dark thought to himself.
When the young mare finally got only a few feet away from Dark, she began to speak.
"Dark Humor! You're gonna get it this time!"
Dark couldn't help, but smile to himself.
"Bien entonces usted puta, le permite obtener esto una y hecho, sí?"
"Don't speak that Spanish crap to me you damn beaner!"
Author's Note
Hey guys HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Now for all my old school SNL fans out there, I based the motivation speaker off the skit Chris Farley did. Most of the words Vocals used, are from the script so there's that. Also, let me apologize in advance for the next chapter. It will have racially insensitive slurs in it. Specifically to Mexicans and Spaniards so please don't sue me if I offend you. Anyhow, happy new year all my fellas and fellets and TA TA for now!
Author's Note
WARNING
To any Mexican Americans and Caucasian folk who are easily offended by the incoming racial slurs I personally apologize if I offend anyone and or deeply hurt anyone and their race in a personal manner.
But to the Asians, African Americans, Native Americans, and any mixes between the three please enjoy!
Also P.S. The fighting scene was inspired by the hilarious fight scene in 22 jump street. See it for yourself!
Round #1
It was a bright, somewhat peaceful afternoon. Celestia's sun was shining in all it's glory, the birds were chirping their song, the little foals played in the fields.
And two class room enemies stared each other down at two different ends of a dirt path. Cursing to one another, saying offensive and what some would say, "Overly Racist" things to one another.
"Beaner" Stated a light pink young mare.
"Cracker" Replied the black as night young unicorn stallion
"So Chili Choker. How do you want to end this? With a peaceful and organized name call. Or a fight?" Diamond Tiara said smugly.
"A-Are you serious you Blue Eyed Devil? You're really considering a fight? I'm sorry Bleach Filly, but I don't fight girls."
"Just because I'm a girl, that doesn't mean I can't put a Wetback in his place. Whether it takes name calling, or violence."
"What are you gonna do huh? You gonna have your "Butler" come and fight for you?" Dark asked sounding cocky and condescending.
"No you stupid Border Hopper, I'm going to fight you if it comes to that. Not like it will, you'll be too busy crying to your "Madre" when it comes to fighting." The rich earthpony replied acting as if she already one the incoming battle.
"Well, well Pig Fucker. If you can fight, then lets see what you can do eh? It's too bad, that tiara looked very expensive. Too bad I'm gonna have to dent it, and shove it up your dry pussy!" Dark replied, mimicking the same confident smirk Diamond wore.
Diamond let out a surprised and offended gasp as she registered what the dark colored unicorn stated.
"You.
Take.
That.
Back.
NOW!" She demanded.
"If you said you can fight bruja! Then I'll take it back. If you can kick my ass, then I'll take it back!" Dark was about to continue but with a sudden feminine grunt, he found himself on his back with Diamond landing hooves into his chest and muzzle.
With a grunt of his own, he lifted her off of his chest and quickly sprung up from the ground. Diamond now without her tiara stared directly into Dark's eyes with anger and frustration.
"Well!? Aren't you gonna hit me now?" The filly asked.
"What? No! That's not how you fight! You don't take turns! Also, I'm not going to hit a girl!"
"SEXIST!" Diamond exclaimed.
"Am not!" Dark replied.
"Then if you thought of me as a real pony, then you would hit me!" With another swift motion, Diamond swung her left hoof at Dark's muzzle making his head and half his body turn to the left.
With a wipe of his muzzle, he looked back to Diamond is surprise but then sudden anger.
"Ooh! It is on now Horseface!" With a swift motion of his own, Dark swung a left hook to the young mare's muzzle knocking her to the ground. Dark was about to go for the kill blow and put the rich mare in a sleeper hold but interrupted by quiet whimpering and crying.
"H-hey, are you crying?" Dark asked, sounding more concerned than he was hoping for. As he got closer, the filly sprang up and uppercut Dark right in the chin.
"Fucking learn to hit you pussy!" Diamond wiped some blood off her muzzle and simply shook it off of her hoof.
With some grunts and moans of pain, Dark shot back up and stared at Diamond in surprise.
"What the fuck? What are you? Some kind of masochist? You bruja!" Dark exclaimed as he pointed but was instantly cut off by Diamond try to push him down but he stopped her hooves in mid push. Both ponies stood on hind legs balancing on each other's push. With angry faces, hard grunting and breathing they stayed like that until Dark saw something out of his squinting eyes.
Diamond's face getting closer to his. Before he could understand what was happening, he felt the young mare's soft lips touch his. Before he could get lost in the bliss, his strength doubled over and he was able to push her down. Falling back to his hooves he began to frantically move his head back and forth.
"What the fuck was that!? Why'd you kiss me!?" Diamond shouted, making sure to get her confused and angry point across.
"What!? I never kissed you! You kissed me! Ooh You're so weird!"
"Oh come on! It's obvious you wanted to kiss me ever since we met!" Diamond argued.
"Ew! No fuck you! Never had I once wanted to kiss you!" Dark replied. As he ended his reply, he saw Diamond begin to slowly walk towards him with more peaceful and hypnotized eyes.
"The fuck!? No get away from me!" Dark yelled swiftly uppercutting Diamond in the jaw knocking her to the ground. Her eyes were dazed and she was obviously knocked out from the hit. Dark not being able to handle anymore awkward fighting and sudden kissing ran off towards his home. Not before picking up Diamond's trademark tiara and putting it in his bags.
"This would make a pretty bit." With that he placed the tiara in his bags and ran off from the dirt road. Leaving the unconscious body of Diamond Tiara in the middle of said road.
~***~
Diamond was lifted from her slumber with water being spilled on her face. She quickly lifted her head to see an overweight blue stallion with thick black glasses looking very energetic.
"Are you OK miss? I was just doing the dishes when I saw you...
FROM MY SHED DOWN BY THE RIVER!"
With a scream, Diamond quickly shot up and ran off towards the town square. After some long minutes of running she finally came to a stop when she reached Sugar Cube Corner, leaning against a light post and taking in as much breath as her tired lungs would let her, she said.
"Just *huff* you wait *huff* Dark Humor! I will *huff* get you!" After a short time of breathing, Diamond suddenly realized something.
"Was that guy the motivational speaker from school?" She paused and thought to herself. She scratched her head to find that her trademark tiara was gone.
"AND WHERE'S MY TIARA!!??"
The Power of a Conscience
Dark trotted through Ponyville, still trying to register what just happened during his and Diamond’s fight. Why would she kiss him?
She obviously has something for me!
Dark thought to himself.
But why? She hates me and I hate her! End of story!
Dark lingered on this thought for a little before thinking,
I mean, why though? It doesn’t surprise me that another filly as fallen head over hooves for me. But why her? Mother Maria tell me please!
Trying to shake his head from the painful thoughts, he quickly remembered he had a very expensive piece of jewelry in his saddlebags. As he remembered this, he quickly rushed home to tell his dad.
Their house was near the edge of town. It was a quaint little home. Two bedroom, two bath, and one kitchen/dining room. Dark ran to the front door and opened it. He stepped inside of the house.
It was kept neat, and clean. His father was always a neat freak and would flip out if there was even a hair out of place.
“Dad! I’m home!” Dark announced as he plopped down on the sofa. After some minutes of waiting, Dark’s father stepped into the living room. Dark’s father was an earthpony, a black earthpony with gray eyes and violet shaded mane.
“Hey boy! How was school?” He asked, sounding a bit sick.
“It was alright dad. Hey, are you alright? You sound a bit slurry.” Dark replied wondering what his father’s response would be.
“Oh it’s that I have a really bad hangover right now. That bitch Berry Punch can hold er’ liqour I’ll give er’ that much. Got down and dirty with her though!” Dark’s father replied sounding proud of himself. Dark’s father was more of an older brother than a father figure, not worrying about what to share and what not to share with his son.
Not like Dark minded. Dark was usually interested by his father’s shenanigans. Like the time where he got in a hoof fight with a stallion named Caramel because of price differences, or the time where he got banned from Sugar Cube Corner because he started a hoof fight with one of the owners of the shop, all because they ran out of pecan pie slices.
“Oh yeah? How’d it go?” Dark asked.
“Eh, it was okay. She and I were drunk half the time so we barely knew what the hell we were doin’. I think you might have a half sibling later on though.” Dark’s father thought as he scratched his balding scalp with a hoof.
With a quick glance, Dark’s father noticed some bruises and bumps on Darks head.
“Hey kid, did you get in another fight? If you did, did you kick ass like I told ya?”
“Well, yeah. I also got some loot from her too!” Dark replied excitingly.
“Wait! “Her?” As in, female pony?” Dark’s father asked, sounding more interested.
“Yeah, what about it?” Dark asked in response.
“Dark, you don’t fight mares! That’s a cowards move boy! I mean, you can’t just go around fighting mares! We need them to cook our meals and wash our dishes!” Dark’s father exclaimed sounding disappointed.
“Sorry dad. It’s just, she wouldn’t leave me alone and she even challenged me to a fight! I told her I didn’t fight girls but she wouldn’t listen!” Dark argued.
“Well now you need to listen boy!” Dark’s father lifted his hoof and back hoofed Dark Humor across the muzzle. “You don’t go around fighting girls! You understand! That is a cowards move!”
Dark gently rubbed his muzzle trying not to cry from the pain. It wasn’t like Diamond’s slightly rough and hurtful punches, it was like taking a branch to the face at full speed.
“Dad! Dad I’m sorry! It won’t happen again I swear!”
“Chice estupido! Que mejor que sea la ultima vez!” Dark’s father yelled while still periodically hitting Dark with a hoof on his side.
“Si papa si! Prometo!” Dark responded still trying to stifle his cries of pain. The hitting halted for a bit, Dark began to get up from his fetal position on the floor. His father looked at him with forgiving and tired eyes and asked,
“So loot huh?”
Dark rushed to his bags and opened one of them to find the tiara still there, in all it’s pride and glory. He lifted it out and presented it to his father.
His dad gasped and quickly grabbed the tiara.
“Dark! Do you know how much this can be worth!? Mother Maria we’re rich! We’re rich we’re rich we’re rich!” Dark’s father began jumping up and down before instantly stopping.
“Oh crap! I think I’m gonna, I think… Oh damn!” Dark’s father rushed to the bathroom and vomiting could be heard.
After a few minutes, Dark’s father emerged from the bathroom door. Looking more tired and sickly.
“Hey, boy. Go to the marketplace and… Sell that shit. Sell it for the best price you can get. Understand?”
“Yeah dad! I’ll be right back!” Dark responded putting the tiara back in his bag and begging to open the door until he heard his father’s voice again.
“And get me a slice of that pecan pie from Sugar Cube Corner!”
“Sure dad! I’ll be back!” Dark responded, and with that he left the house closing the door behind him.
~***~
Unless an evil demon, a queen, or a corrupted princess was threatening all of Equestria, Ponyville was a very dull place to live. Dark walked the dull, yet lively streets of the small village. His first stop was Sugar Cube Corner to pick up the pecan pie and a chocolate cakepop for himself.
His next stop was a jeweler to pawn off the tiara. He could see it now, being able to afford the more finer things. Expensive meals, fancy clothing, and so much more.
But along with the taste of luxury teasing and blinding him, he tasted a hint of something bitter. Something sour, and revolting. Instead of thoughts of luxury filling his head, he saw images of Diamond Tiara.
'Should I really be doing this?' Dark thought. He held the tiara in front of his face and got lost in it's hypnotizing beauty. Gazing at the gems and diamonds that made up the piece of jewelry.
His gaze snapped to a set of glass double doors that led into the jeweler's store.
'It's not like we need the money. Dad's already paid a good amount.'
Dark kept his gaze on both the doors and the tiara.
'But, it's her loss! If she didn't want this stolen, then she wouldn't have worn it every damn day!'
'C'mon Dark. Admit it. This is wrong'
'What? Who are you?'
'I'm you! Well, not YOU but I'm you. All I know is that you haven't listened to me in a long time puto'
'So, you're like my conscience or something?'
'You got it puto!' Now listen, you're my bitch now'
'What? My conscience can't tell me what to do'
'The hell I can't Dark! Now listen to me. You know this is bad. Look, just give it back to the filly and leave. That's all you need to do.'
'Look! I'm not going to go over to wherever she lives and give her tiara back! Think of the luxury we can live in!'
'Listen estúpido! You need to go, and give back the tiara! Besides, you'll only get a couple hundred bits for that tiara. Most the gems in it are glass.'
'What!? Now they aren't!'
'You don't believe me? Go and check!'
'Fine I will!'
~***~
"I can't believe I would only get 250 bits for the tiara!"
'Told you puto! Now, can we please go give it back?'
Dark grumbled loud enough so that the ponies around him can hear.
'Fine.'
'YES!'
"SHUT UP!" Dark yelled grabbing the attention of the ponies selling merchandise around him.
"Triste"
~***~
"Miss Tiara! Please be calm!" A mare in a maids outfit trying to calm Diamond in her stammering rage and panic was having little progress.
"I can't just "BE CALM" Propre! Somepony stole my tiara!" Diamond replied.
"Was it ze same person who hurt you?" Propre asked in her thick French accent.
Diamond stayed silent. She didn't want to let Propre know that Dark and her fought each other. Even if what he did could send him to Juvenile Hall, she knew she would get in trouble as well since she was the one who started the fight in the first place.
Wanting to avoid the question, Diamond then asked,
"Where's father!? He must now this!"
"He has traveled to Manehatten for a business deal with a fast growing technology company. He left me and the other staff in charge of you."
This angered Diamond. Why was it that every time she needed her father the most, he was always gone? Snapping her out of her thoughts she and Propre heard a knock on the door. Propre, doing her job like a good maid rushed out of Diamond's room and down the stairs to the doors.
"Hello? Rich residence." Propre said like she was taught to.
"Uh, hey señora. Is uh, Diamond Tiara here?"
"Yes she is. Does she know you? Why are you here?"
As the colt was about to answer, Diamond interrupted his response.
"I wasn't expecting you to pop up!" Diamond asked, sounding disgusted by the colt's appearance.
"Nice to meet you too Tiara... Oh! Speaking of Tiara, I... Have this." Dark pulled out the tiara almost reluctantly.
Diamond looked surprised at the presentation the colt has brought her.
"How did you get zis?" Propre asked sounding surprised.
"I uh... I saw a stallion walking to a shed by the river with it. I stole it back and brought it here." The colt responded. He quickly glanced at Diamond who looked surprised that not only did Dark Humor; her classroom enemy and fellow bully is not only returning her tiara, but lied about how he got it as well.
She was offended and flattered at the same time.
"Is zis true Miss Tiara?" Propre asked looking to Diamond now.
A long pause fell upon the small group. Until Diamond's still shocked voice answered.
"Yeah... Yeah, a fat blue stallion knocked me out and probably took my tiara!" Diamond lied, she didn't know why she didn't tell the truth though. This was her chance. To be rid of Dark for good, she wouldn't have a care in the world but instead, she was helping his lie grow like a plant.
"I must tell ze guards! Please, Dark come inside and make yourself home! I must go tell ze guards. Dark, where did you say the stallion was?" Propre asked. Dark was confused, by not only her thick accent muffling her sentence, and the fact that Diamond was actually helping him with his fib.
"Uh, he lives in a shed down by the river. You'll know it when you see it." Dark responded, motioning where the river is.
"Okay! Please, make yourself home. We were about to begin supper. You may stay if you wish. Miss Tiara Mr. Soufflé will be cooking your meal tonight. I can trust you'll do all of what your father requests you do?" Propre asked sounding as if she was Diamond's mother.
"Yes Propre. I will."
"Good, au revoir!" With that, Propre was slowly trotting down the road towards the guard station.
"What just happened?" Dark asked.
"Just get inside the house and eat the damn food you beaner" Diamond said dully.
"...Fine. But only because I want to!"
"Whatever."
'Madre María, dame fuerzas'
Author's Note
Hi
Bye...
"So..." Started the black unicorn
"So..." Replied the pink earth pony.
Dark and Diamond stared at each other with unblinking eyes, not looking away for a second. Not even to look at their food in front of them. The meal that night, Tuscan White Bean Soup, with Escarole. One of Chef Soufflé's best meals.
Dark wouldn't admit it, but Diamond had a very nice home. It was very large, very clean, very luxurious. The type of house that somepony like him wasn't worthy to even glance at.
But, with his luck he was sitting inside, eating a 5 star meal. The only problem that was almost ruining this experience was the same pony who he had come to simply return what he stole.
Diamond Tiara.
Something about her reminded him about a glass of lemonade with little sugar.
Where you drink a long guzzle of lemonade and you have that sour cringe, but you taste that hint of sweetness that you want more of. That tastes so good, you want more, you NEED more.
"So, I have a question for you "Mr. Thief" why did you steal my tiara?" Diamond asked, her tiara sat atop her head. In all it's glory and pride.
"I dunno. It just looked nice. So I took it." Dark replied, sounding uncomfortable and awkward.
"So, you're saying my tiara's beauty made you take it like the little criminal you are?" Diamond asked with obvious smugness.
"Hey! I may be many things, but I am no liar! And I'm no criminal!" Dark argued.
"Then what did you call yourself when you stole my tiara? A treasure hunter? A bandito?" Diamond responded.
"Like you would need that stupid tiara! It's only worth like 250 bits! Most of those gems are glass!"
"You think I didn't know that? Did you really think I'm that stupid to wear expensive jewelry every day of my life? Please Dark, you need to be more open minded." Diamond responded.
Before another hoof fight can break out, Propre entered the dining room.
"Bonjour Miss Tiara! Bonjour Mr. Dark!" She entered with a very cheery and happy tone.
"Hello Propre. Did the guards apprehend the ruffian that stole my tiara?" Diamond asked, obviously putting up a prestige and damsel in distress act.
"Yeah... Sure"
~***~
"Sir! Sir! Please drop the broom!" A guard yelled. The fat light blue stallion was cornered with a broom in hoof, his tangled, but puffy blonde mane drenched in sweat. His black glasses gone.
"Get 'em Ozzy!!" He yelled, releasing a bat from a cage.
"Wait Sir! Sir! Oh god a bat!!"
"What!? What bat!?" Exclaimed the first guard, sounding scared for his life at this point.
"Oh damn! *bang* Gah! It bit me! I'm gonna get rabies!" Yelled the other guard.
The first guard pulled out his sword and swung it at the rapidly fluttering bat. Almost instantly slicing it in two little furry bat pieces.
Vocals looked at the dead bat in front of him then looked at the the guards in front of him. Almost looking like he's about to turn into a fireball he was so angry.
"I may not be the best ninja, I may not be one with the universe, but I'll tell you this! NO PONY MESSES WITH MY BAT!!!"
"What!?" Is all the guards could ask before being tackled by the large stallion. The stallion quickly leaped up from atop the two unconscious guards and yelled,
"Tackled like the Colts from DA BEARS!!" Vocals yelled before running off into the nearby woods.
~***~
"Yes Miss Tiara, they got him."
"Good, good. Um, Dark it's starting to get late. I believe you should be going."
Dark had lost track of time almost ever since he stepped inside the mansion. He checked the clock to see that it was turning 9:50.
"Nonsense Miss Tiara! It can be dangerous for Dark to go out zis late." Propre argued.
"Oh come on Propre! He can handle himself!" Diamond responded.
"Diamond, when Master Rich leaves for a trip, who does he leave in charge?" Propre asked sounding like a strict mother.
"...You..."
"And who is the youngest in the home now?"
"...Me..."
"Now, since you two have ze day off tomorrow on account of Vocals' esca- I mean, apprehension he may spend ze night. Dark, is it OK with your parents if you spent ze night?" Propre asked looking at Dark in the same motherly fashion.
"I'm sure my dad is still in a major hangover and forgot I went out. So I think I'm free for the night." Dark responded, almost comically.
"Oh wonderful! I'll ready ze guest room." Almost as quickly as she speaks, she left the room and up the stairs.
"Well... Looks like you get to sleep in a palace instead of a shed tonight huh Dark?" Diamond said, almost seductively.
"I guess so..." Dark responded quietly.
As Diamond got off from her seat and walked towards the stairs, Dark thought to himself,
'Why is she acting so hospitable? Just a second ago, she was wanting me out. Now she acknowledged I'm staying the night.'
Dark's eyes began to widen and he began to cross himself and began to pray.
"Dear Lord, I am calling upon you today for your divine guidance and help. I am in crisis and need a supporting hoof to keep me on the right and just path.
My heart is troubled but I will strive to keep it set on you, as your infinite wisdom will show me the right way to a just and right resolution. Thank you for hearing my prayer and for staying by my side.
Amen!"
"Dark! Who are you talking to!?" Diamond shouted from another room.
"Nopony. Just, praying."
"Well you can sacrifice your goat later! Take a shower and get to bed already so that this can end quickly!" Diamond shouted angrily.
"Por favor, perdona a su señor, ella es sólo una perra"
Author's Note
Chris Farley references galore! Man I love that guy.
Comment below (If you've heard of him) your favorite joke/skit/movie he was featured in.
But we're getting into the nitty gritty! Next chapter will be more peaceful and may have some adorable fluff with it. Not to give anything away but it has a romance tag for a reason.
Now you guys may be wondering,
"What! Two chapters in the span of two hours!? How did he do it!?"
Magic.
and RedMonster.
RedMonster: Mixing Monster Energy and Red Bull.
Warning! Only do it once in your life!
Burying the Hatchet
Dark rushed up the stairs of the large and luxurious home of Diamond Tiara. When he reached the second floor of the mansion, he was amazed by the giant size of the second floor. The hallway itself, was bigger than his bedroom back home.
Shiny, oak doors lined the hallway walls as it went down both left and right sides. On one side, three doors labeled
Library
Study
Bathroom
the other three doors were what Dark assumed, bedrooms. He opened one that led into a big pink room with a queen bed. This was probably where Diamond slept given it's girly, but on the verge of teen state.
Dark opened the door next to it that was somewhat the same size but more serious in tone. It was dark, and all the shades and windows were closed. A large king bed rested in the middle of the room with the silhouettes of the blinds from the window plastered on the bed comforters.
A large picture hung above the headboard of the bed. It depicted a middle aged stallion, with a serious expression of business on his face. Dark assumed that the stallion in the picture was Diamond's father.
Closing the door, he then moved on to the last door that led to a smaller hallway. Dark was about to enter but heard a familiar voice.
"Curious of what this house holds eh Dark?" Dark turned to see Diamond with damp mane around her shoulders, this time without her trademark tiara to accompany her.
"Uh, yeah. I was just uh, getting the feel of the place you know?" Dark responded sounding dumb.
Diamond stared into his dull gray eyes with her deep blue ones.
'She's actually pretty cute when you get past the bitch layer'
'Shut up! She's just like any other teen mare! She's nothing special!'
'Oh yeah smart guy? Prove it. Look her in the eye, and tell me she ain't pretty'
Dark took the silence as an opportunity to do what his mind told him and stare deep into Diamond's eyes. Her face, with the rapid melting smugness turning more into a more blank and innocent face.
'Okay... I'll give you that. She does look pretty.'
'Told you! You gotta listen to me more puto! You might learn a few things eh?'
'Shut up me!'
Diamond couldn't help but not look away from Dark's gaze. She didn't admit it aloud but he was very attractive. Especially since he and her were teenagers, at that point in time it takes a lot of effort to keep a face zit-less, and a body un-flabby. Dark, was perfect. He was fit and partially muscular, probably from all the years of fighting he's been through. His muzzle was perfectly edged but had a modest curve to it as well, his eyes may have been dull and gray but the way he worked them was enchanting.
Shaking her head from her daze, Diamond finally continued her sentence with smug and all.
"All the family jewels and riches are in the basement and attic in an unbreakable safe if you want to steal those too." Diamond teased.
"No, no it's alright." Dark said in a loud whisper.
"So are you going to stare at me all night? or are you going to shit, shower, and shave then go to bed then get out of my home before sunrise?"
"Heh, try moon-set" Dark responded trying to sound clever without using a Spanish word.
"Moon-set?" Diamond chuckled.
"You know what I mean! Where do you keep your towels?" Dark asked trying to get away from the teasing.
"Oh uh, they should be in a basket in the bathroom Propre did the laundry earlier today so they should all be clean." Diamond responded, but this time without any smugness, sarcasm, or malice in it whatsoever. Without the teasing sound to it, Dark found Diamond's voice to be a little cute.
"Try not to make the bathroom look like a pigpen when you're finished."
Never mind.
"Sure...prick" Dark whispered.
As Dark walked towards the bathroom door, he heard three things.
One was a door opening and creaking.
Then an honest sounding,
"Goodnight."
Then the sound of closed doors.
Dark then turned to his set of doors that led to the bathroom and opened them. He stepped inside to the large, clean bathroom and closed the doors behind him.
~***~
Diamond sat on her bedside, slowly and calmly brushing out her mane with a hoof. After her mane was bushed dry and felt soft as silk, she put the brush in it's designated area and turned out the lights.
She then stepped to her bed and snuggled under the covers. But before getting all situated and ready to sleep, she reached under her large, soft pillow and pulled out a burgundy book with a lock on it. She then reached into a small, hoofmade pouch that was torn into the pillow and pulled out a small key that fit the book's lock.
She opened it to a blank, fresh page and began writing.
'Dear Diary, today has been a very hectic day. Almost aching. I got into a fight, had my tiara stolen and returned by the same young stallion, and now he sleeps under the same roof as I. I would like to mention however Mr. Miyagi's fighting lessons have proven useful and officiant. But, I'm not here to talk about that.
It's Dark Humor. The new colt in school. I can't help but feel that I'm falling... Falling... Growing affection towards Dark. Just today, I forced a kiss on him! How embarrassing! I had to blame it on him, but I know he's not that dumb. I don't know what to do! I want to tease and make fun of him like I do with the Crusaders but, then I want to be respectful to him and give him some sort of professionalism, but then there's that little me inside that wants to, nuzzle, squeeze, and kiss him. I don't know which to do, I feel lost. I feel like I'm to be stuck as a bully. A lonely bully.
Is that my character in this story we call life? A bully? I want what Scootaloo can get with Rumble, I want what Miss Applejack and Miss Rarity share. I want love too! But I've learned that all of daddy's money and wealth can't buy me that. Sure it can buy me a coltfriend, but I want one that I don't have to pay for. Every time I do try to be nice to Dark, I always be stupid and end up saying something insulting. Why can't I be nice for once? What ultimate being created me to fit this role?
Am I being punished? Being punished with confusion and loneliness at the same time? If I am, then please let there be a sign of why I'm being punished! Is it because I'm a bully? Am I being punished because I'm created in such a way?
I realize now, I realize that I want Dark. I want Dark Humor! I... I think I... I love, Dark Humor.'
After finishing up her page, she stuffed the key into her pillow, and slid the book under her pillow.
She then gently laid her head on the pillow and began to try to sleep. But couldn't help but release little whimpers of sadness.
~*Meanwhile*~
Dark never admitted it, but he was one to always take long showers, this time his shower was significantly longer than usual. The water pressure was gentle, but firm. The water, was hot. Not so hot to where it became uncomfortable, but hot enough to ease the muscles and make the body feel loose and calm.
With the towel draped around his neck he stepped out the bathroom to be greeted by Propre with a wide grin.
"Gah! Wha- Oh. Hola Propre."m Dark said being startled by Propre's sudden appearance.
"Hello Dark. I have readied the guest bedroom for you. May I escort you?" Propre asked sounding as hospitable as possible. Dark was almost embarrassed by Propre's overly hospitable attitude.
"Yeah. Sure." Dark replied sounding very shy. Propre seeing his hint of timidness she patted his head with a hoof and said,
"I know, staying the night in a large home can be intimidating at times. But don't you worry child. We are most hospitable here and you have nozing to worry about."
With a small grin, Dark began to follow Propre down the hall towards the door that led to the smaller hallway. About two doors down the hall Propre stopped and turned towards a door. She opened it to a somewhat big room, not as big as Diamond's or her father's room but bigger than Dark's.
He stepped inside and thanked Propre for letting him stay the night. Propre wished Dark a goodnight and closed the door. Leaving Dark to himself in the room.
The bed was a queen sized bed with a brown comforter. Dark slumped onto the bed and washed washed over softness and comfort. Dark let out a sigh of relief. His eyes began to become heavy and he was getting lulled to sleep but the silence and softness of the bed.
But, his eyes quickly shot open and he got up from the bed. He went to the foot of the bed and knelt down. He crossed himself with his hooves and began to pray. He would always pray before he slept. Ever since his mother left, he's done it every night.
"Señor Padre, por favor concédeme buenos sueños mientras duermo esta noche. Rezo para el papá, lo perdonara por sus pecados Señor él es un semental sencillo que no sabe mejor. Rezo por Mamá, por favor, deje que perdonar a mi padre por ser él. Pero sobre todo por favor deje que me perdone, he decepcionarla y soy la razón por la que no podría ser más feliz con el papá. Rezo por Muscle escuálido, rezo por su recuperación y la curación. Rezo por su familia que se preocupan por él todas las noches. Señor, te pido por favor, perdona ... Diamond Tiara Señor Padre. Ella es sólo una yegua joven sencillo, como el resto de nosotros, ella es su hijo. Rezo para que ella duerme bien esta noche y concedo sus buenos sueños.
amén"
As Dark finished his prayer he returned to the left side of the bed and got under the covers. Almost instantly falling asleep.
~***~
Dark's eye's gently fluttered open to the gentle sound of whispers. It was still dark, if Dark didn't know better it'd be about 2:00 AM.
"Dark?" The voice whispered again. Dark turned his head and groaned, missing the bliss of slumber.
"Dark. Dark, are you awake?" The whisper asked, the volume of the voice raising a little. Dark could point out that the voice was female.
"Hmm?" Dark responded. Letting out as much voice his half asleep mind would let him.
With a slow hoof, Dark reached over the the edge of the bed and clicked on a small table lamp that sat on a dresser. As the light filled the room, Dark was surprised to see the pink young mare in his room. Diamond Tiara stood in front of the closed door, her light purple and white mane hung loosely yet gracefully from her scalp.
Since Diamond wasn't teasing or mocking Dark in any way, Dark was able to realize and point out Diamond's natural beauty and grace. The way her eyes had a certain glow to them, or how her face that, without any smugness or sarcasm littering it, she was very pretty. Beautiful even.
"Dark... We, need to talk." Diamond said calmly.
"Okay, sure." Dark responded, not knowing what to say at this point.
Diamond took a slow, calming breath and walked over to the bed and got on. She sat in front of Dark who was now sitting up as well.
"Dark, I... I need to tell you something." Diamond whispered, almost stuttering over her words.
"Yeah Diamond? What is it?" Dark asked, mentally getting ready for any insults that await him.
"Dark, remember when I... Kissed you? When, we were fighting?"
"Yeah."
"I want to be honest and say that I was the one who went for the kiss." Diamond admitted, sounding almost pitiful.
"Gee, you think Diamond?" Dark responded disrespectfully. But to his surprise, he didn't get any insult or tease from Diamond. Instead, she held her head low, never taking her gaze from her hooves.
"Look, I want... I want to start fresh. I want to clean out the closet. I want to be honest with you Dark." Diamond said, still not making eye contact with Dark who was now taking her seriously and deeply believing that she was serious.
"Okay... Then what do you want to be honest about then?" Dark asked.
"See, I want to tell you why I do what I do. Why I bully others." Dark took this as a warning for an incoming long story so he made sure to make himself comfortable and got his ears ready.
~***~
Dark stared at Diamond. Completely feeling bad for the poor filly. She didn't bully because she just felt like it. She didn't bully because she was just bad and an attention hog. But she bullied because she was being neglected and forgotten by her father. He was always busy, he never had time to care for her. Another reason why Diamond bullied, was because she was jealous about the other students and their full potential. They didn't know what their lives could hold. Especially the Crusaders. They didn't have their cutie marks yet so they had the whole world to explore to find their destiny.
What was Diamond's destiny? To be pampered and spoiled for her life, while being remembered as the whiny bitch who always got her way and always made other pony's lives hell.
Diamond wasn't a mean spirited bully who was made to insult others. She was just a lonely, little filly who was jealous of those who could do so much more, those who were more talented than her.
Diamond didn't say anything. For the entire time, she kept her head down. Never looking up at Dark. Dark sat there, staring at the broken down young mare in front of him. He couldn't help but feel pity for Diamond. She was just misunderstood for this entire time. If it were her choice, she could have been the nicest filly in the school.
Dark could hear quiet whimpers from the poor filly in front of him. He's never seen somepony cry in front of him. He felt like he should do something, but what? What could he do?
He did have an idea, but he didn't want to do it. Many voices in his head shouted and yelled in his mind. But one voice, a voice all too familiar only whispered.
'C'mon Puto. Do what I told you'
"Come here." Dark said, stretching out his hooves. Diamond slowly looked up, tears run down her face. Her eyes were read and puffy, the red was almost overpowering the blue coloring of her eyes.
Slowly, Diamond shifted and scooted towards Dark until she was close enough to fall into his embrace. She paused her pursuit and asked,
"Are you sure?"
Dark didn't say anything, all he did was nod his head and wave his hooves towards him. After getting the reassurance, Diamond slowly leaned into his embrace, planting her head on his shoulder. She could feel his hooves wrap around her body, one hoof around her head and neck. The other around her back.
Feeling the warmth of his hug, Diamond began to tear up again. Wishing and hoping that all this wasn't just a dream. She buried her muzzle into the crook of his neck. Dark could feel hot tears run down his neck along with quiet, yet sorrowful whimpers and pouts joining the crying. It almost made Dark begin to cry himself, but he knew that he had to stay strong. His hoof around her back gently stroked her back and he hushed her making "Shh" noises as he went.
"Está bien Diamond, está bien" Dark whispered.
Diamond's cries slowly calmed and her head stayed in it's position for the longest time. She still pondered if it was a dream or not. It could be real, it felt real enough. But, there's no way Dark could be this comforting to a fellow bully and enemy. Would he? Is this all a dream about Dark? Diamond tried shutting her eyes and opening them rapidly, trying all the ways to see if all this was simply a dream.
There, was still one thing that could test if all this was a dream or not. She just didn't want to do it yet. If it was real, it would probably ruin the entire moment and make it awkward. But if it was all a dream, it wouldn't matter. It was a 50-50 chance that Diamond wanted to take.
Then, a small voice in the back of her mind said,
'Do it Tiara. Just test it.'
Diamond slowly lifted her head from Dark's neck and looked him in the eye. Dark's gray colored eyes reflected off of Diamond's blue ones. Before Dark could realize it, Diamond had leaned in and once again, planted her lips on his. This time, more gentle and organized. Dark's eyes went wide from the sudden affection from Diamond Tiara. But, instead of yanking away and getting disgusted he went along with the kiss. Soon later, he melted into her affection.
Diamond caught hint of Dark's smell. He obviously found the good shampoo in the bathroom. His purple mane spelled like pure jasmine. Diamond found it funny that Dark resorted to using female shampoo; more specifically her shampoo. But, she also found it cute and alluring.
Diamond then felt something odd, but was something she's been hoping for. A tongue prodding at her lips from Dark. He kept insisting for his tongue to merge with hers so she had no choice but to oblige.
Opening her mouth, she felt Dark's tongue explore her mouth. Her curious tongue joined his and their tongues danced the dance of love and affection.
Dark fell back with Diamond still atop him. Her felt like the softest fabric a pony could afford, her taste was bittersweet. Just the way Dark liked it.
This show of affection went on for a little while longer before they came up from air. The two lovers got under the covers and began to cuddle each other. Diamond nuzzled and cuddled into Dark's deep black fur, while Dark caressed and stroked Diamond's pink fur. Her face was facing his own and he kept poking her with kisses along her face, cheeks, and neck. Making her moan and sigh in satisfaction.
It didn't take long for the young mare to fall asleep into Dark's arms. Dark looked at Diamond's sleeping face, hearing the cute little snores that escape her mouth. With a quick, gentle kiss on the forehead Dark whispered ,
"Yo también te quiero"
Author's Note
I'm gonna get a lot of questions for Dark's prayer so here's the translation. Save you 5 seconds of your life eh?
"Lord Father, please grant me good dreams while I sleep tonight. I pray for dad, forgive him for his sins Lord he's a simple stallion who doesn't know better. I pray for Mama, please let her forgive my father for being him. But mostly please let her forgive me, I have let her down and I'm the reason she couldn't be happy with dad. I pray for Scrawny Muscle, I pray for his recovery and healing. I pray for his family who worry over him every night. Lord, I pray for... Please forgive Diamond Tiara Lord Father. She's only a simple young mare, like the rest of us, she is your child. I pray she sleeps well tonight and grant her good dreams.
Amen "
Anyway, this is the second to last chapter. Yup! That means the next one will the concluding chapter! I may
MAY, if I want to I'll write an alternate ending for the two. One more cliche I guess. All the ties will be tied into this shit!
But the last chapter might not come out as quickly as this one and the last two did. I'm working on two separate collabs. One on Wattpad, and the other here. But don't you worry the next chapter will be out soon.
Hopefully.
Now, as you all know I took a break from the name calling, and the teasing (Kinda) in this chapter and added some romance and fluff to it. I kinda had to because we all saw it coming right? Right!
I hope you enjoyed this Diamond-Humor or Dark-Tiara fluff chapter. And hey, if I play my cards right, and if you guys ask and really like the idea.
Maybe there will be some numbers like 2 and 3 involved. Don't take it as an orgy thing
It was a cloudy and cold morning, just the way Dark liked it, unlike the always hot and dry days when he lived in Las Pegasus. He hated everything that came from Las Pegasus, the only thing he liked was when he left. Now he didn't leave just because his parents wanted to, he didn't move because they were running low on bits, but he was running from something. AN incident that shouldn't have happened, an incident he tried to avoid. he even told his parents about it; his mother was worried and scarred, but his father was excited and anxious.
His father always pushed him to be strong, to be a fighter like him. That entire conversation still plays in his mind as if it were on repeat.
It was right after school and Dark had just arrived home from his walk home.
"Mama, I... Have something to tell you."
"What is it honey?"
"I... Think I'm going to get into a fight after school tomorrow."
"WHAT!?"
"I tried to get out of it Mama, but he wouldn't listen! I honestly tried Mama!"
"What's going on? What's with the yelling?" Dark's father enters the room
"Dark is getting into a fight tomorrow after school!"
"What? Dark is this true?" Dark had tears in his eyes.
"Yes Dad, but I honestly tried to stop the fight!"
"Stop right there Dark... You, are getting into a fight tomorrow? After school? With who?"
"This pegasus named Scrawny Muscle"
Dark braced for impact before getting a pat on the head by his father.
"Then with a name like that, you'd be able to kick the little feather brain's ass right boy?"
"What?" Dark asked sounded surprised.
"You can't actually be supported this? What if he gets hurt? He's in middle school! He won't be able to show his face again!"
"That's why he'll win!" Dark's father looked back to him.
"Boy, I remember when I was in the 7th grade, I was kicking some ass everywhere I went! Everypony was scared of me and they should be! I'll tell you something my father told me when I was a colt like you. The secret to pain, is to simply not feel it! You got this Dark, you're a born scrapper like your old stallion! Right?"
Dark was very confused, he could only stare blankly past his father. It seemed like forever before he replied.
"yes Dad, I won't disappoint you"
"That's my little scrapper! Now c'mon boy, let me teach you some moves my dad taught me!"
His father's voice ringed and echoed in his ears. That had been his very first fight, and after every fight he got in he would end up changing schools as a result. He didn't have friends, and when he did they wouldn't be friends for long since he was constantly moving until his father divorced his mother and ever since his last move, he has lived with his father. His father always told him to never let ponies punk him or let them push him around. To always be on top, to never let others beat him.
If he were to ever lose a fight, or lose control he wouldn't have to worry about what the other students would do to him. He would have to worry about what his father would do to him.
Dark's thinking and imagination blinded him from his surroundings for when he snapped back to reality he noticed an orange filly walking next to him constantly calling his name. His annoyed personality returned and he acknowledged her.
"What is it feather head?" Dark asked sounding annoyed.
"Okay, I'm just going to ignore the name calling and cut to the chase. I've noticed that you gave Diamond what for last Friday!" The pegasus exclaimed with excitement.
"Yeah, then I almost broke that Rumble kid's wing. What's your point baboso? And who are you anyways?"
"My name's Scootaloo, and I know some Spanish and I know baboso means retarded. So anyway, I wanted to ask you something. Since you were one of the first ponies who told Diamond and Silver off, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and I wanted you to help us from Diamond's insults."
"What? What are you getting at feather brain?" Dark asked still with his annoyed voice.
"I understand that something like this costs a lot. So we pulled our money together and we will offer you 40 bits to protect us from Diamond and other bullies for a whole month! What do ya say?" Scootaloo asked holding up the small sack of bits in her hoof.
"First let me say that you and your friends probably share a fucking brain! Did you three really think I would help your sorry asses? You fucking blank flank! Now get the fuck outta my face or I'll make sure you'll never be able to fly again! Oh wait, looks like somepony already beat it to me! What happened perra? Did your Madre drop you? Did she drink when she was pregnant with your sorry ass? I bet you that your birth certificate is actually an apology letter from the condom company your Padre bought a condom from!"
The array of endless insults quickly got to the poor pegasus and she instantly covered her eyes and ran off. Dark stopped and watched Scootaloo run from him, possibly to the schoolhouse. Dark suddenly realized what he said, he nearly broke into tears himself and he said under his breath.
"I'm sorry niña. I didn't mean it. Please, forgive me."
Author's Note
Unless you guys did't get the message, this chapter was made to show that Dark has a heart. He's not just a heartless bully, see I was always told that bullies aren't born, they're made. Whether it be being bullied themselves or pure neglect from parents or friends. And to those who couldn't understand I hinted that Dark gets physically abused by his father. Now I know I'm just procrastinating the chapter when Dark and Diamond face off, but I'm still planning for that. I have a main idea for it, but I still don't know whether I should end it one way or the other. If I want to, I'll add another chapter called, "Alternate Ending"
