BEGIN REPORT:
Forced Data Log for Equine Interactions Started: ???/???/??????
ERROR 00004 - Cannot retrieve date, system corrupted.
Log 1: Attempted pseudocode for decision tree I
IF (purple_equine == talks)
IF (Monitor.communication(fun.talk) == TRUE)
Abort.Systems
END
IF(Monitor.communication(sad.talk) == TRUE)
Abort.Systems
END
IF(Monitor.communication(everything.else) == TRUE)
Stay.Silent
END
Abort.Communication
END
System crashed in 0.0000000000032 second(s).
NB: Communication log is priority after multiple failure attempts. Please review.
Trial 1: FAILURE OF INTRODUCTION TO ELICIT STANDARD COMPLEMENTARY RESPONSE (See Trial 2)
Trial 2: FAILURE OF COMPLEMENTARY FORCED RESPONSE (See Trial 3)
Trial 3: FAILURE OF HUMOUR (See Trial 4)
Trial 4: FAILURE OF SUBJECT TO EXPRESS REPLY FOR HUMOUR, FORCED CONCLUSION MISSION FAILURE (See Trial 5)
Trial 5: FAILURE TO HEED CONVERSATIONAL TIMING, DIGITAL TIMING NOT PRECISE ENOUGH FOR ORGANIC CONVERSATION. (cont. Trial 6)
Trial 6: SIGNS OF FRUSTRATION FROM SUBJECT EVEN THOUGH DIGITAL TIMING HAS FLOATING-POINT ACCURACY
Conclusions:
Communications with organic lifeforms impossible. Caution, recommend drastic decrease in CPU allocation or overheating likelihood will rise to 120% in two minutes.
END REPORT.
