"Adagio, this is stupid," complained Aria Blaze as she and Adagio Dazzle and Sonata Dusk sat in the booth at the back table of Hey-Burger's Cafe. "It's also probably your worst idea yet for making this world adore us."
"And like you've come up with any ideas at all," said Adagio. "It's already 1971, idiot, a few hundred years have already passed since we were banished, and if I could say one thing, it would be that I am getting extremely sick of this place. We've tried everything obvious. This is our only resort now." Adagio pulled out two books from her lap under the table. One's title was 1000 People That Changed the World. The other was Speaking to the Dead: For Dummies.
"Here in this world were many great people. We've just been too focused on getting strong by ourselves to realize it," said Adagio. She opened the first book. "There have been many famous scientists, leaders, and so on in the past, and even one of them may be capable of helping us conquer the world."
"They're also dead and you want to talk to their lost souls," scoffed Aria, pointing to the second book. "I'm all for enslaving the people here, but seriously Adagio, this is just desperately low even for you. Besides, how do we even know holding a seance to talk to dead people would work?"
"Just shut up," sneered Adagio. "I know what I'm doing."
"I just don't understand why we have to do this," Sonata finally spoke. "Why don't we just go to Taco Bell and sing like normal there? More people eat there than here."
"Forget it Sonata," said Aria. "We all know why you really want to go there."
"Do you?" Sonata asked. "Do you really?"
"Both of you shut your traps," Adagio snapped. "We're holding a seance, we're bringing back the great minds of the past, is that clear?" Aria reluctantly nodded. Sonata sat there wide-eyed before she said, "Yup!".
"Then let's begin," said Adagio. "Unfortunately, by the book, this is the best kind of place to hold our session, so first we need to make sure everyone else is. . .preoccupied." She opened her mouth and started to vocalize softly, and shortly after, Aria and Sonata followed by harmonizing. The sound of their singing filled the cafe, and before long, everyone who was in the place was arguing and bickering with each other for the smallest reasons. The Dazzlings stopped. Adagio grinned.
"Now," she said, holding her hands out in front of her. Sonata and Aria each grabbed a hand, and then held hands with each other. The three of them then closed their eyes and entered a trance. . .
"Adagio!" Sonata's voice called out. Adagio opened her eyes. The strangest scene was in front of her. She was standing on nothing, but not floating, and so were Sonata and Aria, who stood in front of her. Everywhere was a bluish-black expanse going on forever. Scattered along this expanse were doors of all kinds, floating and sitting in place. Sonata hyperventilated.
"What's going on?" she asked in panic. Aria looked disgusted.
"This better not be some weird trick," she grumbled.
"No no, this is perfect," said Adagio, remembering something she had read in the seance book. "We're here. We're on the other side." The Dazzlings stuck together, walking through the expanse. Adagio led them, Aria following reluctantly behind, and Sonata tip-toeing everywhere, afraid she'd fall into the expanse at any moment.
"What's with all the doors?" asked Aria as they continued.
"Those," said Adagio, "are gateways to the lost souls. There are hundreds, thousands, MILLIONS of them, all throughout history. If we just find the right doors, we can get who we need to help us."
"Let's do that quick, I don't like this place," said Sonata. Adagio rolled her eyes and continued forward. The Dazzlings came to what seemed like a hallways of doors.
"Why don't we check here first?" asked Adagio, reaching for the first door. When she opened it, a man was standing on the other side, facing his back to them, and was giving a speech.
"I HAVE A DREAM!" he exclaimed, shaking his finger at where he was talking. Adagio shut the door.
"Not this one," she said. "I hate speeches." The three kept walking, and the further down the hallway they went, the further back in history they went too. Sonata reached for a door with a golden star on it.
"Maybe this one," she said, opening it up. On the other side was a blonde lady in a white dress. . . only. . . she wasn't exactly fully dressed. In a haste she pushed her skirt down and looked angrily at Sonata.
"EXCUSE YOU!" she screamed. Sonata slammed the door.
"Oops, I didn't know souls had privacy," she said nervously.
"It doesn't matter," said Adagio, looking straight at a simple wooden door. "Let's try here." She opened the door to see a small man in round glasses sitting on the floor, his only clothing being a simple linen around his waist.
"It's some old hobo, Adagio," said Aria. "This is pointless."
"No, it's not," said Adagio. "I've seen this man, and by what I've read about him, he turned an entire nation against another!"
"I kept peace and created independence for India!" retorted the old man.
"Whatever," said Adagio. "Either way, you're someone with power, and that's someone we need. Listen closely, you lost soul, and you may have a chance to relive your life."
"And where would the point in really living go?" asked the old man.
"Silence," said Adagio. "We need to cast revenge on this world, a world that I have read has even KILLED you, and-"
"Revenge is never a good answer!" said the old man. "An eye for an eye and the whole world is blind!" Adagio growled.
"Fine!" she roared as she slammed the door. Adagio led Aria and Sonata away. "That one thinks too much." In frustration, the girls continued through the expanse, opening and closing doors.
"This is getting us nowhere," said Aria. "I'm tired of this." She slouched her shoulders. Adagio was about to spit back at her when another door caught her eye. She screamed.
"YES!" she exclaimed, running up to a blood-red door with a strange black symbol on it. "I recognize this symbol from the book! It's the symbol of one of the most treacherous men to ever live in this world!"
"Yay!" said Sonata.
"So you think that this is our answer for taking over the world?" asked Aria, a slight sense of hope in her voice.
"Absolutely," said Adagio darkly. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It didn't budge.
"What's wrong now?" asked Aria. Adagio struggled with the door.
"I don't know!" she grunted, yanking at the doorknob. She tried kicking at the door, pulling the knob off. Nothing worked.
"Wait," said Sonata, pointing at the top of the door frame, "there's a small sign there." Adagio squinted and looked where Sonata was pointing. There, in small lettering, was the phrase "Restricted Area 19-1-20-1-14a".
"Great," growled Adagio. "Our answer is on the other side of the door and it's restricted! I will admit I didn't see this coming. . ."
"Well, what do we do now then?" said Aria, returning to her complaining self.
"We keep searching."
The girls kept pressing through the expanse, opening many different doors. All they found was a crazy scientist with white hair that was too smart-talk for them, a tall man with a beard and a top-hat that listened but wouldn't agree to the Dazzling because he was "against slavery" and that "a house divided against itself could not stand", a pudgy grandpa that was obsessed with flying kites in thunderstorms, a bizarre writer that said he would help if all of them would die in the end to make the story more interesting, and finally there was a man in a toga with a petrified face who just sat in an empty room rocking back and forth muttering "Et tu, Brute? Et tu, Brute?"
"Okay, I'm ready to give up," complained Aria after more hours of searching.
"Me too," said Sonata. "And I'm hungry, and tired, and I have to pee-"
"But this can't be it!" said Adagio furiously. "I've read the books! We've seen all the people! Shouldn't there at least be ONE willing to help us?"
"Wasn't there one guy that said he would?" asked Sonata.
"Sonata, he put people's heads on wooden stakes," replied Aria.
"THOSE WERE REAL?!"
"Stop!" said Adagio. At first the two other Dazzlings thought that she was going to slap them or rebuke them, but instead, she pointed ahead of her at a royal blue door.
"There's one more door!" she said. "We still have one more chance!" Adagio ran to the door, the other two following her. Quickly she grabbed the doorknob and flung open the door. It was then the Dazzlings suddenly gasped.
There, in the middle of the room, sat an elderly man with a long, snowy beard. He wore a blue cape and hat adorned in bells. He sat on a stool, sipping carefully at his tea.
"This isn't possible!" shouted Adagio. "How are YOU here?!" The elderly man grinned and put down his tea.
"Well, come to visit, you gabbing idiots?" he said. The Dazzlings stood in fear.
"Oh, you think that I wouldn't be here? Unlike many of the ponies from Equestria, I don't HAVE a doppelganger from this world. I expected you would try to get back or take over this world!" He grinned. The Dazzlings still stood there, frozen. The elderly man held out a hand, his fingers ready to snap.
"You just got trolled, suckas!" he said, snapping his fingers.
Adagio shook her head, her eyes having the feeling of swimming around in her skull. When she was able to see again, she found that she was back at the cafe, Aria and Sonata across from her in the booth they were sitting at. The three of them regained their bearings again. Then Aria put her head in her hands.
"Well that worked," she said sarcastically.
"That nasty old wizard, thinking he's got us all locked up!" Adagio spat. "I swear, if I see him again, I'll kill him!"
"But he's already dead," said Sonata obviously. Adagio growled at her. Just after, the three realized that there was silence in the cafe. The Dazzlings realized that hours had passed, and in those hours, the spell they had first cast to keep everyone arguing had worn off. Sweat ran across Adagio's brow. She sat back down in her seat quietly, and the cafe started to have conversations fill the air again.
"Way to be nonchalant," said Aria. "Think they noticed we had a full on seance back here?"
"It's the Seventies," said Adagio, making an excuse. "They probably will think we're on drugs." She gave a heavy sigh. The Dazzlings were back where they started, sitting powerless and frustrated. Sonata perked up with another idea.
"We could always go to Tac-"
"NO!"
