Princess Failure

by Noodle the Cuttlepony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Applejack, Comedy, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2339

Celestia finds her inner prankster and Ponyville citizens despair.

Luna has finally convinced Celestia to give her a chance to run the Equestrian Court for a whole night. Celestia now has nothing to do on Nightmare Night. Hmmmm.

Published 2014-10-19 16:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-19 16:20:02 UTC

The New Fear

Nightmare Night, a holiday that used to inspire fear into the hearts of ponies everywhere in Equestria centuries ago. It is now a day where you can hear the laughter of fillies and colts as they play pranks, receive candy and tell scary stories. This story begins in Canterlot, specifically the Canterlot castle where a new fear of the night is being born. The Canterlot castle, a place where nobility shines the brightest in Equestria and where the common pony can go and admire the princesses in all their ruling beauty. Not on this night, on this night a shift in power will soon be made. A wonderful chaotic night.

Luna watched in boredom as her sister hurriedly arranged her stack of papers in a neat pile on her desk while talking in a harried manner as she looked for any that may have fallen in her panic. Her eyes drifting around her sisters office in search of something to do.

"Now Luna an ambassador from Griffstozka will be here at 6:00pm on the dot soon to discuss new trade deals between our nations. All the papers for said meeting will be right here on this desk. Now you must remember to hold your temper no matter what, he likes to test how far they can go before you lose your cool, don't give him the satisfaction. Also the mayor of Trottingham will be coming a little after 12:00am to complain about how I don't give him enough bits for his personal statue. After that....LUNA ARE YOU LISTENING?!!" Celestia screamed as she eyed her sister drawing a stick figure Celestia being duck-taped by a stick figure Luna.

Luna rolled her eyes in annoyance and looked up at her sister who had begun panting in frustration.

"Tia we have been over this a thousand times for the past year now. I know what I'm supposed to do. You however are meant to be on holiday tonight. Remember?" Luna questioned.

Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself and walked over to Luna and placed a foreleg over her back and pulled her in close for a hug.

"I'm so sorry Luna...It's just... I know that I'm being a bit overbearing, but I just want this night to be successful for you dear sister. This is the first time in a 1000 years I've not watched over Equestria, I'm a bit nervous" Celestia said as she buried her muzzle in her sisters mane.

Luna snuggled back, more for her sisters comfort than her own. She too was afraid and was worried about how the court would react to her having power for a full night, but someone had to be confident and she could tell it wasn't going to be her sister.

"Why don't you visit Ponyville like I had done last Nightmare Night. I'm sure you will have much fun there and before you know it will be time for you to come home and raise the sun. After that I will tell you of my success tonight and we will both have good laugh of how we both worried over nothing" Luna said soothingly as she pulled from her sister to gather up any left over papers from the floor.

Celestia watched in pride as Luna seemed much more confident than she had before when she first asked for a night of ruling by herself.

"You're right Luna everything will be fine. I'm going to send for the royal carriage and have fun tonight. Break a leg" Celestia said as she walked out her office and toward the royal carriage.

Luna looked up in surprise and stared at the shut door in wonderment.

I'm still very confused about these strange wordings, though I have gotten better. Did Tia tell me to injure myself? she thought in worry as she eyed her legs warily.

* * *

Celestia looked at the beautiful arrangement of the stars and shook her head in amazement at Luna's artistic vision as she was escorted to Ponyville by 4 white pegasi guards pulling her carriage. Despite her worry she was sure that Luna could rule, but 1000 years of ruling alone could make one a bit set in their ways. As she looked down on the ground as they neared Ponyville she wondered about what to do once she got there. Despite the fact that she had preparing Luna for a year she did nothing of the sort for herself.

Well in the spirit of Nightmare Night Luna had said many a times that pranking was a great way to have fun. It has been awhile since I have pranked anyone. 600 years to be precise, I might have gotten a bit rusty.

With that thought in mind she had the guards land near the out skirts of Ponyville so she could try out her rusty pranking skills.

For her first target she picked Fluttershy. Celestia bit her lip in worry as she skulked near the cottage the element of kindness lived. She knew that this mare was very sensitive, but just one soft prank wouldn't hurt would it? After all it IS Nightmare Night, all in good fun. As she looked thorugh the window she saw Fluttershy attempting to feed a rather unruly rabbit in her opinion and went around to her front door and knocked in preparation to "prank" Fluttershy.

Fluttershy sighed in sadness as once again Angel Bunny had refused the salad she made for him and demand she make another one. As she was about to go in to her kitchen she heard a knock on the door and froze. She turned toward her front door, eyes wide and wings pulled tight against her body. Only 3 kinds of ponies knocked on her door on Nightmare Night. Pranksters, foals who asked for candy in scary costumes, and her friends in potentially scary costumes.

She inched toward the door and reached out a shaking hoof toward the door handle only to jerk back in fear as the knocking evolved into aggressive banging. Fluttershy screamed in fright and ran back to pick up Angel Bunny and then hid under bed, shaking in terror hoping whoever it was would leave soon. Soon enough the banging stopped and she sighed in relief only to jump in shock when she felt Angel bunny smack her muzzle.

"Oh I'm sorry Angel Bunny. I just didn't want anything to happen to you" she whispered as she let him go and watched him bounce out of her bedroom.

Fluttershy crawled out of her bed and proceeded to walk out of her room to follow Angel only to scream in pure fear as she was grabbed by strong forelegs and pulled into her closet with the door locking behind her.

Celestia looked down at the now fainted mare in shock and opened the door to lay Fluttershy out on her bed. Celestia decided that maybe her pranks weren't as rusty as she thought or perhaps Fluttershy just scared easy. Either way she had enough time to prank some more ponies and what better pony than her own faithful student Twilight Sparkle.

"I didn't even get to say Trick or Treat" Celesetia said as she sighed and jumped out of Fluttershy's window.

* * *

"Spike!" Twilight yelled in her library as she was looking through her books in terror.

"I was just in the next room Twilight,you don't need to yell" Spike said as he yawned and walked toward Twilight.

"Spike you arranged these books in proper order yes?" Twilight whispered as she leaned in close to Spike face.

"Well ya of course they were on the chores list after all" Spike said warily as he leaned back away from Twilight's crazed looking eyes.

"Then why are all the books words scrambled!!! Every single book in the library, not a single one of them have any words that make sense. NONE SPIKE!!" Twilight screamed in horror as she showed Spike the tragedy that took place.

"Uh Twilight...are you sure your all right I mean I can read them just fine," Spike said as he scratched his head in confusion.

"What!" she exclaimed as she planted her face into the open book which was supposed to contain candy recipes for Nightmare Night.

"Spike this isn't funny, there isn't anything legible there. If this is some kind of prank-," Twilight started only to be cut of by Spike.

"I'm not playing any prank Twilight really. I've been sleeping for hours in preparation for tonight" Spike explained with his hands up in the air in an attempt to ward of Twilight's advance.

They both stopped in their tracks though, when they heard the front door to the library open. When the figure stepped into the library both Twilight and Spikes eyes widened in surprise and bowed in greeting.

"Princess Celestia! What are you doing here? You didn't send a letter. Had I known you were coming I would've made sure to clean up the mess Spike made in here" Twilight exclaimed as she ran up to her mentor for a hug.

"MY MESS! For all I know you're the one who's playing a prank on ME!" Spike shouted in annoyance.

"Well I came here to celebrate of course.My faithful student what happened here? It looks like a parasprite storm ran here" Celestia asked in wonder as she hugged Twilight back.

"Well SOMEPONY has messed with the words in all of my books. If it wasn't you then who was it Spike? No one has been in here all day and yesterday these books were perfectly fine" asked Twilight, her eyes twitching at the thought of her books being violated.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in Ponyville with any sanity left. The Princess is right here, why not ask her for help?" Spike questioned as he left to go back to sleep.

"I-I was going to. It's the principle of the matter!" Twilight yelled out and then stopped when she realized how she was acting in front of her mentor.

"Twilight these books have no magic cast on them. In fact...I can read these all perfectly fine. Twilight have you perhaps...lost the ability to read?" Celestia questioned worringly.

"N-No that's impossible! I couldn't have possibly...NOOO!!" Twilight cried out in sadness as she collapsed in shame and terror of never being able to read ever again.

Celestia leaned in close to Twilights ear and whispered "Gotcha. Trick or Treat."

"What. Th-that was YOU? Princess Celestia why? How could you?" She asked, her eyes going huge and watering in betrayal.

"Whatever do you mean. I thought it was a great prank." Celestia questioned.

"Prank!? Pranks are supposed to be funny for both the parties involved in said pranking. What you are doing is cruel." Twilight explained in anger and shock

"I'm truly sorry Twilight. It's been awhile since I've pranked anypony for a few centuries. I've supposed that ponies may have gotten a bit thin-skinned over the years" Celestia explained sorrowfully

"Thin-Skinned! Back then was that an idea of a prank? No offense, but that's a bit horrible. You haven't pranked anyone else...have you" Twilight asked warily

"Well I have stopped by Fluttershy's cottage before I came here" Celestia said distractedly as she tried to think of a new prank.

"Fluttershy!? Is she okay? What am I saying. Of course she isn't okay. Princess from now on please take more care on how you prank ponies. Not everypony is the same and scaring them can have consequences" Twilight advised.

"You're right Twilight. I now have the perfect prank that will benefit everypony involved. Thank you very much my faithful student" Celestia exclaimed and in a burst of light she teleported out of the library.

"Wait! Princess the...spell," Twilight sighed

* * *

Celestia appeared in a flash on the Apple Farm. She quickly hid behind the barn and and rubbed her hooves together in glee only to stop suddenly and use her magic to create a handlebar mustache above her lips and started giggling in glee for her next prank which was sure to help all involved.

As Celestia snuck around the apple farm every now and then there are flashes of golden magic sparking through the darkness. After 3 hours of work and leaving a note for the Apple family and she headed back to where she had commanded the pegasi to wait... for hours.  As she commanded them to return to Canterlot  she laughed out loud in joy of a successful night and vowed to do so once again.

"What a wonderful night for pranking. Luna has the best ideas" Celestia shouted out in happiness.

* * *

Applejack trotted back home merrily after enjoying the happiness of the other ponies faces as the drank in her apple cider she and the rest of her family had worked hard on. As she headed back to the farm to change out of her Nightmare night costume. Applejack stopped in her tracks, eyes widened in horror and jaw dropped.

"W-What in tarnation!!" Applejack yelled in shock

All the trees which had been bare from all the apple picking had grown yellow bananas with browns spots. Every single tree.

On one of the nearby trees it had a note nailed in its bark. Applejack walked closer and squinted to read the elegant writing.

Dear Applejack,

My sister has told me you have been having terrible nightmares of never being able to poop again because of your month long constipation. I have endeavored to help you with your plight with this fantastic prank which shall surely clean your bowels of any filth that may cling to your insides. I'm sure you and your family will also enjoy this tastebud change after eating nothing but apple-flavoured food for your entire life.

Sincerely Yours,

Princess Celestia Trollestia

P.S This spell will remain for an entire month enjoy.

P.P.S These bananas are absolutely delicious you must try one. I already feel like I must relieve myself.