Everypony Loves Fluttershy
Fluttershy gently opened her eyes. Outside, birds were singing sweetly. Very sweetly. Almost moreso than usual. Was there something special about today? She shrugged and then she stretched, and couldn’t suppress a little yawn. Whatever had happened, they sure were in a good mood.
Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile. As long as her animals were happy, she was happy. Climbing down from her bed, she unfurled her wings and began to do her morning stretches. She had just finished her wing exercises and was beginning her back stretches and arching her back when from between her hind legs, she caught sight of the calendar hanging on the calendar. Today’s date was circled in red.
Fluttershy tried to twist to get a better look at it, but when she tried, she lost her balance and fell. Picking herself up, she went over to it and...
Hearts and Hooves Day?!?
She squealed in surprise. That was today?? Well, no wonder the birds were so happy!
Wait... if today was Hearts and Hooves Day, that meant that she had a longer list of things to do! All the things to prepare, her animal friends to watch, and matches to make!
She opened the door and began to run outside, certain that she was late and that her animals were disappointed in her. Her worries quickly gave way to a more pressing problem--something appeared in her path, knocking her hooves out from under her and sending her tumbling to the ground.
She pushed herself up and opened her eyes, and saw Angel, holding a watch in his hand and an untied bow tie in his paw. He double checked the watch, as if surprised, and then gave Fluttershy a congratulatory pat on the back. He had clearly not expected her to be awake on time, and this year she was ready early.
Fluttershy put on a smile. “Ready for your tie?”
Angel nodded and held out the strip of cloth, which Fluttershy quickly took. Using dexterous movements learned from years of tying bandages, Fluttershy soon had him looking, well, truly fly.
“Looking sharp, Angel! Go get ‘er!”
Angel looked at his reflection, nodded smartly, and scurried out the door.
Fluttershy smiled as he left, but that smile soon faded as she remembered the rest of her preparations. Mr. Bluebird still needed his top hat, the canaries needed their red bows as well, and don’t even get her started on what the foxes and voles and mice needed, and the badgers! Contrary to popular belief, honey badgers really did care, especially about their appearance.
Now feeling slightly overwhelmed, Fluttershy flew out the door.
* * *
Rainbow Dash snickered quietly to herself as she finished placing the last piece on the card. The two wings lay perfectly aligned along the front of the card, and it looked perfect.
Wait. She wasn’t perfect! She was cool! With this new information, she reached out a hoof and moved it slightly. Now it was off center. Now it was cool. Now it shouted, “Rainbow Dash!” Or maybe it was just a whisper.
No! She didn’t want it to say Rainbow Dash! She quickly tried to fix the wing. It was aligned again, but the glue streaks remained behind. Perfect. Now it was perfect, but not naturally so.
Sliding the card under her wing, she opened the door to her cloudhouse and flew out into the morning.
Two minutes later, she returned, picked up the card from where it had fallen when she had spread her wings to take off, placed it into her saddlebags, and took off again.
* * *
Rainbow Dash flew out, high in the air to avoid detection. Skimming over clouds, she looked down to Fluttershy’s cottage... and noticed an orange pony walking sneakily towards her door. Rainbow couldn’t help but laugh, as Applejack’s espionage efforts were hampered by the fact that she still wore her hat and ribbons.
Flying slowly, she got lower and lower until she was hovering right behind Applejack, who was looking and creeping intently forward and holding a card in her mouth.
“Hey Applejack!” she said.
The earth pony squealed and jumped, and turned around to growl at Rainbow Dash, who was now rolling on the ground in laughter.
“What’re you doin’ here?” Applejack hissed.
“Best reaction ever!” Dash choked out through her laughs. “You squealed!”
“Ah did not,” Applejack hissed, but a slight blush tinged her cheeks.
“Did too.”
“Didn’t.”
“You totally did.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“You’re such a bad liar, AJ.”
Applejack’s nose twitched. “Whatever. What’re you doin’ here, anyway?”
“Nothing. What are you doing here?”
“Nothin’.”
That was an obvious lie, and Rainbow Dash smirked broadly. “Doesn’t look like nothin’. Looks like you’re giving a Hearts and Hooves Day card to Fluttershy.”
“What?” Applejack put on her best innocent expression; which, to be perfectly honest, was terrible. “Ah’m doin’ no such thing.”
“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?” Rainbow asked, snatching the card up from the ground. Applejack jumped repeatedly for it, but Rainbow hovered in the air, maddeningly just out of reach.
Rainbow opened it and began to read. “Dear Fluttershy, You are without a doubt the most amazing mare I’ve seen...” She would have read more, but being distracted while reading, left her tail within reach of the earth pony’s teeth, and Applejack took full advantage of this new development.
Rainbow Dash slammed against the ground, still laughing. “So, you and Fluttershy, eh?”
“No!” Applejack sputtered. “It ain’t like that at all!”
“Suure... You’re loud, she’s quiet, you’d get along perfectly.” Rainbow paused, deep in thought. “I wonder what your foals would look like?”
Applejack blinked, unsure if she were serious or not. To her surprise, Rainbow seemed to be pondering in earnest. “Uh... Rainbow... ya do know that two mares cain’t have foals, right?”
Rainbow’s eyes widened. “They can’t?”
“No,” a third voice broke in. Twilight Sparkle walked up to them, wearing her ‘I get to give a mini-lecture! Squee!’ expression. “It’s quite literally impossible. Even if we were able to combine the two ova using magic or electroshock stimulation, the fact remains that the genetic information of the two ova simply cannot combine by normal means, and certainly with no degree of predictability. While some have suggested removing the nucleus of one ovum and then fusing it with a somatic cell, which theoretically would reproduce itself, we currently do not have the means nor technology of accomplishing such a task at the microscopic level. And that’s without looking at the moral or ethical implications of such a project.” She smiled, and then realized that her friends were both wearing their ‘wat’ expressions, and so she dropped into her more-common-than-desired ‘I am surrounded by imbeciles’ expression. “No, Rainbow, they can’t.”
“Oh. Well, why didn’t you just say so?”
“But I did...” Twilight protested. She shook her head. “What are you two doing here, anyway?”
Applejack blushed, and Rainbow laughed again. “AJ here was going to give Fluttershy a Hearts and Hooves Day card!”
“Really?” Twilight asked, lifting the piece of paper. “It looks like something you would make, Rainbow.”
“Psh. Nah. I’m not into that kind of thing,” Rainbow waved her hoof dismissively. “Nowhere near cool enough for me. No way.”
“Then why is there a blue hair trapped in the glue on the front?” Twilight asked.
To her horror, Rainbow Dash realized that Twilight wasn’t holding Applejack’s card; she was holding hers. It must have fallen out of her saddlebags when Applejack tackled her. There was only one thing to do--make sure she looked cool, even when she wasn’t.
“That’s not blue,” Rainbow protested. “That’s cyan.” Upon finishing that sentence, she promptly facehoofed. That didn’t go as planned.
“Reeeally?” Applejack looked as if she was told the Zap Apple harvest got extended a full day. “And you were makin’ fun a’ me fer my card?” And upon finishing that sentence, Applejack promptly facehoofed as well.
Twilight looked at her two friends. “I’m missing something here, aren’t I?”
“From what I can see,” yet another voice entered, “both our friends here have made Hearts and Hooves Day cards for Fluttershy.” Rarity entered the conversation with her normal poise and grace, with an underlying excitement.
Twilight’s eyebrows raised with glee at the prospect of new studies. “This is a new development in my studies! I think this is known as a love triangle! This is a conflict that could destroy our friendship!”
“No,” Applejack deadpanned, “This is a big misunderstandin’.”
“So... there is no love triangle?” Rarity asked. Twilight couldn’t tell if Rarity was happy or disappointed by this revelation.
“Well, Ah don’t love her,” Applejack said, before her eyes widened in shock. “Not like that! Fluttershy is great, Ah just don’t... ya know... love her love her.”
“Then explain the card,” Rainbow Dash challenged.
Applejack met her eyes. “Ah will if you will.”
Oh. Right.
“Well, I... I mean...” Rainbow looked for an out. “Rarity? What are you doing here?”
Rarity primped slightly. “Oh, do I even need a reason to visit one of my dear friends?”
Applejack shrugged. “Ah dunno... Jus’ figured you’d be beatin’ stallions off with a stick today, what with today bein’ today and all.”
“Why, thank you; but that’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” Rarity asked. “Honestly, Applejack. And to think, you could be the center of this attention too, if you would only....”
“Not. Int’rested.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “All I’m saying, dearie, is if you would just brush your mane out and...”
Applejack gave Rarity a little shove. “And all Ah’m sayin’ is no.” As she did, she heard the sound of paper falling. Looking down, she saw a Hearts and Hooves Day card, pure white, written in flowing script.
“Aw, Rarity, you too?”
Rarity blushed, but before she could open her mouth to speak, Pinkie Pie appeared. “Yay! Now everypony’s got a card for Fluttershy!”
“Everypony?”
“Yeah! Twilight’s is hiding behind her tail.”
Everyone turned to look at Twilight, and she blushed. “H- hey! How did you know that?”
“I didn’t,” Pinkie Pie said brightly. “I just guessed. Because I have a card for her too!” And with that, Pinkie Pie pulled out her card from... somewhere... and opened it in Rarity’s face. The card exploded in confetti, showering Rarity in brightly-colored paper.
“And check this out: it’s reusable!” Pinkie Pie shut it, and opened it again, sending another burst of party favors in Rarity’s face.
Rarity coughed, expelling a few stray pieces of the party paper. “She... she’ll love it, I’m sure,” she managed to say.
“I sure hope she does! Now this presents a problem, though. Which one of us is she going to choose?”
“Choose?” her five friends gasped.
“Well, yeah. You have so many cards but only one very special somepony.”
“Ah’m not lookin’ fer a very special somepony,” Applejack protested. “Sure, there’re a couple Ah wouldn’t mind if’n they asked me, maybe one in particular, but that’s it.”
“Is it one of your cousins?” Rainbow Dash teased.
“No!” Applejack protested forcefully. “That ain’t even right and you know it.”
The expressions of her friends ranged from curious to disgusted as it quickly became apparent that Applejack was lying. Twilight shook her head and tried to re-rail the conversation. “Then why the card?” she asked.
Applejack shrugged. “She just seemed kindof lonely out here. Ah ain’t ever seen her with a date; so Ah figured, might as well send her a little somethin’ t’ show her somepony really cared about her. Ah didn’t even sign it,” she said, holding out the card to show.
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Rarity said. “At our last spa date, she talked about all her plans for all her animal friends, but she never mentioned any plans for herself, and I thought I’d do what I could to help her out. She’s just so sweet, she should know there are ponies thinking of her. I didn’t sign mine either.”
Rainbow nodded. “Same. She’s been my friend forever. Figured I’d do something nice for her.”
“I didn’t sign mine either!” Pinkie chirped. “Do you think she’ll figure it out? That I sent it?”
“Not a chance, Pinkie,” Applejack deadpanned.
Twilight added her side. “I wrote a card for practice, and I thought I’d give it to somepony who would really appreciate it. I’ve never been good with these sorts of things.”
“So we all wrote cards for Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Looks like it,” Applejack agreed.
Pinkie cheered. “This is exciting! And if there’s a lesson to be learned here, we’d better learn it fast.”
Twilight considered ignoring that, but against her better judgement, decided to ask. “And why is that, Pinkie?”
Pinkie grinned. “Because Fluttershy is coming outside right now!”
At once, every pony disappeared in their own way. Rainbow Dash flew so fast upwards that she left dust clouds behind. Twilight cast an invisibility spell, while Pinkie disappeared in a bush that Rarity was pretty sure had not been there before; but since she was currently under her camouflage blanket, she couldn’t comment. Applejack sprinted as fast as she could and dove into a little group of trees, and by the time Fluttershy opened the door, there was not a single pony to be seen. There was a slightly suspicious bush, but things grew kindof wildly this close to the Everfree, and Fluttershy didn’t find this all too out of the ordinary.
“Oh... I thought I heard somepony out here,” she said. She turned to go back inside. She still had plenty to take care of, after all. The hats for the birds were almost done, and the foxes still needed those ribbons tied, there was still so much to do!
As soon as the door shut behind her, a cloud floated down to the earth. “All right. We were never here. We all leave her the cards, and then we bounce. What happened here stays here. Agreed?” it hissed.
“Agreed,” replied a bush, a blanket, a tree, and the mailbox.
* * *
Big Mac tossed down the bouquet of flowers he was holding and slammed his head repeatedly against one of the many trees in the orchard. Apples tumbled to the ground as he mentally and physically cursed his stupidity over and over. Why hadn’t he left the farm sooner? Of course he wouldn’t be the only one after her. Of course all her friends would be there. Of course they would all be fighting over her. And why wouldn’t they? Fluttershy was so perfect, so helpful, so kind. She may have had a quiet exterior, but under that she had an inner strength that would have put him to shame. She was just... argh. She was simply out of his league.
Big Mac sighed dejectedly as he took a bite of the flowers he had intended to give to Fluttershy. Flowers from rejected suitors were never wasted, as they could be safely eaten, but to Big Mac, these just tasted like failure. Crisp, bright red failure. Maybe if they had been shared with a certain yellow pegasus, they would taste better.
Ah well. There was always next year.
Author's Note
Possibly relevant.