Something About Portals

by 20percentCujo

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 1549

After his spontaneous banishment from Aperture Science, Wheatley returns to Earth and bumps into...Sunset Shimmer

"Anyway…you know, if I was ever to see her again, you know what I'd say? I'd say…I'm sorry, sincerely. I am sorry I was bossy…and monstrous, and…I am genuinely sorry. The End."

Those probably were the truest words I've ever spoken. Needless to say, I never did see her ever again. After all those years being stranded in space, I doubt she's even still alive. And yet…I never lost hope. I knew, at some point, I would definitely return. Even if the whole planet would be controlled by pastel-coloured counterparts of talking horses by then, I'd…wait, what?

This story will be deleted on December 1st. For more information, please refer to this blog post.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-19 15:30:07 UTC

An Unlikely Companion

Sunset Shimmer never knew what hit her.

Well, maybe she did. But it took her a while.

A strange object had bumped into the back of her head, the impact's force almost knocking her to the ground. Hadn't it been for the experiences from her former part-time job at the bowling alley, she might as well have passed out. Still, anything could happen around these parts of Canterlot, especially at night. And if she was getting robbed now, there was no way she'd be backing down without a fight. Even though she probably deserved it.

Her day truly had come along badly enough to begin with. Tonight really should have been a triumph, considering her initial success. After a brief feud, the element of magic finally rested in her hands, thus completing her life's biggest goal. Only for her to be told that things didn't work like that, and all she had done so far in life had - in fact - been rather pointless. She was finally facing her Waterloo. And having that song stuck in her head after finishing the thought made matters even worse.

But instead of getting overly annoyed, the former she-demon felt utterly confused upon realizing what had actually collided with her.

Sunset narrowed her eyes, as she bent down to examine the strange object. Carefully, she reached out with one hand, before giving it a soft push with her index finger.

A low sound escaped from the small machine, as quite a large compartment opened up in between the two dark gray handles attached to it. From its inside a light-blue LED display emerged. For some reason, it reminded her of...an eye?

“WHOA”, the object suddenly exclaimed, making her leap backwards in shock immediately. The blue eye then started flashing around the scene, probably examining it. “That – was bloody tight.”

Sunset couldn't help but recognize the Trottingham accent this machine was using while it talked. She rolled her eyes. Could this possibly get any more weird?

“And who are you?”, the object continued. “Are you a test subject? One from my sector, maybe? Another one, who survived? That would be marvelous. And it really would increase my success rate.”

A short silence followed, during which the small robot apparently repeated the examination of his surroundings. “Where are we, anyways? Doesn't look like the facility at all. Let alone my department...uhhh...what about you? Can you talk?”

Quite a weird question that was. Sure, she could. But if this was some prank of sorts, she had to be careful about what to say.

“Okay, you know what?”, the robot asked her. “Say apple. APPLE. Can you do that?”

Even more bewildered than before, Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Apple?”, she responded in a tone that fit her confusion all too well.

“Ooh, oh great. You're already doing much better than the last subject. But seriously, are you from my department? What's your name? Maybe I could check for that.”

She hesitated. Giving away personal information just like that wasn't actually her style, especially when the recipient was a tiny UFO that had just randomly fallen out of the sky. Oh, well. No risk, no fun.

“It's Shimmer. Sunset Shimmer.”

The robot's eye shifted back and forth. Given the increased volume from its inside, it was probably processing some information. “Shimmer...Shimmer”, it mumbled. “No, wait, not really, but...Oh, here we go: Sunset Shimmer, signed up for testing six years ago, ran through several initiatives, and...”

He suddenly went silent.

“What? Is there something wrong?” Sunset was getting gradually unnerved, let alone pretty pissed. After all that had happened tonight, a demon battle, rainbow tornadoes, semi-pony transformations, and three giggling, annoying 80s fangirls on the sidewalk two blocks away, she just wanted to go home.

“Protocol says you're dead”, the little robot admitted, his voice slightly saddened. “Killed in an incident with a docking station in...well, that might have been...uhm...” He stumbled along like that for a few more moments, before his voice clearly lightened up, again. “But here you are, safe and sound. And you even talk. Boy, that's fantastic. Hey, you know what? Pick me up, and I'll explain everything under way.”

Sunset sighed, as she grabbed one of the robot's handles, subsequently lifting it up about waist-high. Admittedly, she had often wondered why she had never met any human counterpart of hers at CHS. If that girl had been working on some government research program, that probably explained it. But assisting some power-hungry morons with irrational scientific research? That suited her...

She let her head hang low in disappointment.

...pretty well, actually.

“So, anyway. Where are we going? Oh, this is exciting. There's no rail and no fixed routes telling us the way...we can go, wherever we want. Oh, oh, how about...”

“How about we go home”, she sharply replied, cutting him off. “I need some sleep. Besides, you said you were going to explain everything."

“Oh, yeah right,  about that...”

“...and you should have seen her face, when all of a sudden – ZAP – all the power went out. And then...tiny, little Wheatley unraveled himself, as he looked down on her and said, here goes: Hey, buddy. I am talking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing! I know, brilliant, right?”

What or whoever he had tried to imitate there, it pretty much sounded like Applejack on cocaine, something like that. Not that Sunset really cared. The only thing she could think of right now was the question of why in Equestria she even brought this lunatic here? She had been lying on her mattress for two hours now, rolled into her blankets, desperately trying to get some sleep. Unfortunately, that little idiot, who earlier identified himself as Wheatley, former CEO of Aperture Science hadn't been able to shut his mouth for just one single second.

After tonight's defeat at CHS, Sunset had promised herself, Princess Twilight, and all the other girls one thing: That she would leave her rotten personality behind, in order to become a better self. But right now just wasn't the time for niceties.

“And they were so arrogant, but I just laughed in their faces, and told them: 'Well, could a moron punch you into that hole? Could a moron do that? Huh? Hey...where are you going?”

He had obviously recognized Sunset getting up. But he didn't have to wait for a very long time in order to get his explanation.

There was a rusty old shovel leaned to the wall in the corner of the room. It had been here among other things, when she had first moved into this abandoned apartment a few years ago. She had already dumped most of them, or used them as part of her evil world domination plans. But for some reason, she had always believed this shovel might come in handy, somehow. A hunch, at best.

This seemed to be the time. After slipping her boots back on, she grabbed it with one hand, while already carrying the robot in her other.

“Okay, okay”, he said. “Let me rephrase that; where are we going?”

Sunset groaned. “Just a short walk. You'll...see.”

Canterlot cemetery. Had it just been another hunch bringing her here? Maybe.

“Oh, I've read about those. Isn't that, where those smelly hu...I mean, where you dispose of your...uh...waste?”

Sunset chuckled. She immediately felt bad about doing so, but couldn't actually help it. “Of sorts, maybe”, she answered.

“Wow, this place is spooky”, Wheatley admitted. “I don't know why we're here, but I think I'm gonna love it. Matter of fact, I already do. Speaking of death, did I ever tell you that story about our neurotoxin incident in our enrichment centre? Because that was spooky, big time. Of course in the end, we all rejoiced and laughed about it, and by now...”

He could continue talking now, if he wanted to. Sunset didn't actually mind. She had found what she was looking for: To her right, there was a freshly excavated pit, probably marking a soon-to-be grave. But there would be time to mourn the fallen, later. For now, she had to get rid of quite another plague than death.

Holding the robot up high for a second, she elegantly let him tumble down into the grave, until a low, damp sound from below marked his arrival.

“Wow”, she heard him say. “Guess I've definitely...gone deep for the joke this time. Which reminds me...that bottomless pit I shoved the elevator inside actually, hey, HEY, what's that...”

By the time he said those last few words, Sunset had already dropped several loads of dirt onto him. And she had no intention to stop, despite his angry babbling from below, which, by the way turned more and more quiet with everything shovel of soil she drained into the pit.

It took a few minutes until she finally arrived at ground level. A relieved sigh escaped her, as she could now finally hope for some rest. Just before doing so, her eyes quickly wandered over the tombstone that had already been set up next to the former excavation site.

Here lies Flash Sentry's hopes and dreams

A satisfied smirk ran over Sunset's face. “What a baby”, she mumbled to herself, walking off.