Crusader's Crutch

Prologue

Even from Canterlot, the gleam of the sharpened spears could be spotted poised to its right by the quaking guards who, like headstones, lined the cobbles of Ponyville. Of course, on the off chance that any survivors of that sunny afternoon can miraculously identify that malign metaphor through the bounds of space and time, they ‘d likely acknowledge an irony within the depiction, for the frantic and bated breaths from the snouts of the soldiers was all the life that lingered there. Though that statement in of itself lacks the total truth due to the fact that, in spite all the houses with unlit candles, a single exemption flickered in the darkness, swaying with the pace of the pages turning, in none other than the crystal castle of the local Princess.

“Oh c’mon, c’mon!” quivered Princess Twilight as she flashed from shelf to shelf; dodging the anxious Applejack, weeping Fluttershy and consoling Pinkie all the while. “You’ve got to have something! I cleaned you, housed you in ascending alphabetical order, without ever annotating you and this is how you repay me?!”

“Uh…don’t you mean repay me?” corrected the purple dragon from the opposing shelves.

“Besides the point!” was the snarling retort.

“I’m guessing that means that option’s down the drain.” stated Rainbow Dash, down from her position over the neglected confines of her throne.

An unsung clone of the candle’s flame could be seen igniting deep in Twilight’s pupils, “Very perceptive, Starswirl!” she screamed, “You want a medal?!”

“Come now! That’s quite enough, darling.” said Rarity, from her own freshly varnished throne, “Unless this brutish fiend has somehow kidnapped us and we are nothing but brainless Changelings, I think it’s safe to say that we are all mares here. We’re under enough pressure as it is; so stop with the uncharacteristic behaviour and show at least some scrap of civility.”

The ignition died and Twilight spoke, “I’m sorry, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, it just makes no sense: Princess Celestia told me about this “impending spirit” that the legends say is going to engulf Equestria and despite all the times they’ve had the answers, none of my books or the ones in the Sister’s Castle contain any information within them about the thing or any spells with which-”

“Twi.”

“What, Rainbow?” she snapped instinctively.

“This might sound a little weird, but… why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” the Princess queried.

“Well… y’know, repeat to us what we already know. Is that like an egghead thing or something? It’s kinda like that word you taught me during study a few weeks back. Oh, what was it? Expeh-, Expo-?”

“Does it honestly matter right now?” yelled all in unison; bar Fluttershy and her smiling therapist. Shot down from both a literal and figurative high, Rainbow sulked into her seat, her flank finally embracing the icy chair with its warmth for the first time in years.

It was then that Twilight’s little dragon, Spike, now centred in the chamber, showcased once more his anomalous ability as a courier by producing official state documents from a fiery belch in public. Dragon rights activists, who knew of this royalty made compulsory capability, were naturally hounding the walls of Canterlot Palace in questioning its ethical decency. These accusations were eventually ,however, revoked after Princess Celestia persuaded them that minor stomach pains were the single but necessary evil of such functions, mostly using the leftover Bits in the Nightmare Night charity fund. Spike had not unravelled the note from its roll a twentieth of a centimetre, before his feet leapt backwards as Rarity’s eyes and Applejack’s hooves had planted themselves firmly alongside him.

“Is it them?” pressed Applejack, “Did they get out okay? Are they safe?"

Gluing together the blasted fragments of his wits made from this initial bombardment, the dragon, gazing upon the letter, coughed and read as follows:

“Twily,

Unit Jockey has confirmed their position by the water tower. No sightings thus far. Things seem pretty quiet on our end as well. Stay strong, sis, we’ll pull through this.

–Your BBBFF

P.S. I almost forgot; the evacuation of the town’s complete, no chasu… casuah…” The little servant was at last incapacitated by a level of pronunciation taught in the town’s elementary.

“Casualties.” said Twilight bluntly, before blushing slightly as she mused, “Always the Gentlecolt, I see.”

The tension melted off Applejack’s face, under the heat of the reading. “Oh, thank sweet applesauce!” she sighed, fanning her browless brow with her hat in the motions enforced by Rarity, whose eyes bore that same look of content, “Why what I would have done to that there monster, or Applebloom, if both of them came in two inches of eacho-”

“What you would have done?” barged in Rainbow Dash, “See that window over there, cowgirl…er, never mind.” She mumbled embarrassingly, having, in spite of the years passed since castle’s erection, inexplicably grown alien to the opaqueness of the stain glass; many to this day debate whether this peculiar blank in Rainbow’s long term memory was a result of mere self-specific stubbornness or an apparent assassination of consistency at the hands of some higher authority for the sake of abstract humour.

“But the point still stands,” she continued, “If no-pony’s pinned down a weakness for this thing like you said , Twilight, there’s no way in Tartarus those guys can hold the line, especially since we’ve only got maybe about half of the turnout of the Equestria Games; what they need is the real deal!” Rainbow Dash bumped her chest with an insufferable smugness as she announced this.

After enacting her standard protocol of disdainful glares, the Princess once again held her head high as she elucidated, “You have quite the capacity for selective hearing, don’t you? As has been stated about fifteen times by now, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna should be mobilising reinforcements in Canterlot, now that we’ve taken pressure off them. On the chance that the guards should fail to hold their positions, and by “chance” I mean “inevitability”, the remaining garrisons of Canterlot elites will be able to assist us in finishing the spirit in its weakened state. Now, if you’ll forgive the frankness, I’ve had enough shouting, screaming, nagging and crying keeping me from finding a darn well solution to this whole affair before we end up having this conversation six feet-”

The rancorous roar that rocked the foundations from its near distance was the final nail in the coffin of that notion.

“Fuck this shitty day!” roared the Princess in equal measure.

As the other five mares all started upwards, while the baby dragon fell from the highest shelf in the contrary direction, the blue Pegasus brandished a smirk, “Looks like the cavalry’s come knockin’ AJ. Ten bits for the final blow?”

Spiting into her right fore-hoof and thrusting it forwards into Dash’s own saliva drenched one, Applejack slyly smiled, “Kicks Mcgee says you’re on.”

“Agreed.” declared the now upstanding Rarity, “Let’s teach this ruffian the price of sullying one’s décor.”

“My only regret, was not receiving the throne I asked for.” cried Discord dramatically.

The eyes of all fell on the isolated corner which these words emitted from.

“I’m terribly sorry, am I interrupting anything?” he queried cunningly.

The frowns on the faces of all but Pinkie and Fluttershy, was the only response.

Discord sighed, “Very well, I’ll be taking my leave then. Au revoir!” then with a mawkish wave into the glistening eyes of Fluttershy and a snapping of the fingers, he was gone as quick as he came.

After booting the sheer preposterousness of the circumstance from her system, in addition to the bottled aggravation, Twilight was struck with the weight of her current circumstance, prompting the foreseen call of, “Alright everypony, into positions. Move out.” So Rainbow Dash, Rarity and a renewed Fluttershy march out into the streets, with Spike sneaking alongside them. The two earth ponies, however, lingered still, facing a Princess whose own hooves and face seemed firmly rooted to the floor. A long, chilling silence hung in the room before the Princess finally showcased acknowledgement of the other presences.

“Shouldn’t you two be rigging the traps?” she inquired solemnly.

Applejack smiled empathetically; she knew that tone. It was the tone of Applebloom when she was first branded a “blank flank” and it was the tone she herself once held that fateful morning she awoke to Granny Smith telling her that momma and papa needed her to “take care of herself”. As of that moment, Twilight in the eyes of the farm pony was as open as one her vintage texts on a Saturday night. Closing the distance between herself and Twilight, she smiled, “It ain’t quite Golden Oaks, is it?”

"I guess not.” muttered the Princess, “But ,all the scrap books and photo albums aside, I’m not so sure that’s where I’d want to be right now either. It’s funny, despite all the lunches, slumber parties and journeys we’ve went through as friends alone on this very spot, the one time when myself, this place, the town and everyone who was evacuated might all vanish, the ones I feel mostly concerned about are-”

“Your family.” Concluded Applejack, maternally.

There was only silence.

The earth pony wrapped her hoof around Twilight’s neck, “Now listen here, Twi. I don’t know how many times we all need to tell ya, but Celestia made you a Princess for a reason. Heck, if it weren’t for you, we’d all be at eachother like varmints in the trash. Now I know for a fact that the kin of a pony like that ain’t gonna want to see them run crying to them from any kind o’ hurdle. Pinkie and I’ll follow the orders given to us, but to be honest, there’s really no point unless the leader shows face.”

“I suppose you have point.” sighed Twilight reluctantly.

Only half of Applejack’s argumentative arsenal breached the armour of the angst, but it was then, when all hopes of a composed Princess seemed squandered that the second barrage shattered the remainder into puny pieces; with smiles and confetti galore.

“Aw c’mon Twilight,” cheered Pinkie Pie with lightning pace as she stretched Twilight’s lips upwards in the rain of ribbons, “turn that frown upside down! The only thing that should have that face is that big, big dumb meanie pants monster from a hoof-full of flank whooping!” She then proceed to mimic the various fighting styles of martial arts experts across Equestria, with uncannily surpassing accuracy, all while crying cries consisting of the clichéd “Hiyas” and “woos”.

“Besides,” she restarted, “we need our Princess smile, smile, smiling or else.”

“Or else…?” Twilight probed.

“Or else my now not-so secret surprise “we beat the big bad guy” party’ll be a total doozy, duh.” elaborated Pinkie.

“You and your parties…” mused the Princess with a grin, “Okay girls, I’m ready. Go and Rendezvous with Unit Pen; thanks for everything.”

So the girls trotted vigorously on past their crystal thrones and out into the battle. The first thing that they bore witness to was a long, thin arm slowly reaching from the depths of a shadowy cloud...