My Little Pony: Shipping is Magic Stories

It was beautiful fall afternoon in Ponyville as Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship and Element of Magic, was relaxing inside her new library castle with her fellow elements and best friends. Inside the castle, Twilight sat on her throne, reading a book as usual. Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty, was playing cards with Applejack, the Element of Honesty. Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness, was petting her bunny Angel as Rarity, the Element of Generosity, brushed her hair. Twilight's assistant Spike was on royal business in Canterlot. All was quiet and calm…maybe a little too calm. There was someone missing. Where was Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter? A sudden “BOOM” broke the silence as the hyperactive Pinkie burst through the door. The boom was so sudden it scared everyone half to death. Pinkie ran at full speed past Rainbow and Applejack, making the stacks of cards scatter. “Aw, PINKIE!” groaned Rainbow as she threw her hand on the table. “I had a full house!”

“Aw well,” said Applejack with a smug grin as she placed her two pair on the table. “I guess we’ll just have to start over.” Rainbow shot a dirty look towards Applejack who stuck her tongue out teasingly.

“Sorry Dashie,” said Pinkie as she brought a phone to the radio placed on the stand next to the throne with the three balloons on them (Pinkie’s cutie mark). “I’m just in a hurry. It’s almost time for the contest on PonyPop!” PonyPop was the famous pop/techno station run by the techno-loving DJ, Vinyl Scratch (a.k.a. DJ Pon3). The others forgot that the station was doing a contest today, although, they wondered how they could forget since Pinkie had been talking about it every day since she heard about it. Pinkie wasted no time in turning on the radio, turning the knob to 97.9, and listened as the voice came to life.

“Yo yo yo! What’s up everybody! This is DJ Pon3 here on PonyPop 97.9, bringing you the most recent pop and techno hits of Equestria. Alright comedy-lovers, be sure you keep listening and have a phone handy, because it’s almost time to give away tickets to the upcoming Clash of Colt Comedy Tour coming to Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie squealed with excitement. “All you have to do is be the first caller whenever you hear this sound,” the sound of a joke snare rimshot played, "and you win two tickets to the show! And now, back to the music." As the music started playing, Pinkie started jumping up and down she was so excited.

"Oooooo!" she squealed, "I hope it's me! It's gotta be me! Who else could want to see the Clash of Colt Comedy more than me?"

"I'm sorry Pinkie," Twilight said as she closed her book, "What's the Clash of Colt Comedy?" Pinkie whipped around to Twilight, starring at her like she just said she hated cupcakes.

"You...don't...KNOW?!?!" she exclaimed.

"Hence why I asked," Twilight said bluntly. Pinkie then let out a gasp so big, everyone thought she was going to inflate her head.

"It's the Clash of Colt Comedy! The kookiest collection of comedy craziness this corner of calamity!" she shouted.

"Try saying THAT ten times fast," muttered Rainbow as she shuffled her deck of cards. Twilight just stared at Pinkie, confused by her alliteration.

This time, Applejack chimed in. "I think what Pinkie meant to say, Twilight, is that the Clash of Colt Comedy is a comedy tour combining the craziest comedians from each corner of the country." Twilight stared at her even more confused.

"Yeah THAT helped a lot," she said sarcastically.

"Oh for the love of-" Rainbow said, annoyed by the confusing wordplay. "It's a whole bunch of funny stallions who tour Equestria telling jokes."

"That's what I said!" Pinkie chimed in. Rainbow just rolled her eyes and went back to her cards. "The tour is something I've always wanted to see," Pinkie continued, "Imagine, all the most famous comedians in one show! All of the showstoppers! Mr. Wacky, Slapstick, Carrot Tail, Witty Mind, and above all else...FUNNY BONE!" Pinkie squealed again as she jumped all around.

"Oh I think I've heard of him," said Fluttershy. "He's supposed to be the best right?"

"Best doesn't even describe it!" Pinkie screamed, "He's the absolute KING of comedy! And I'm going to be the one to see him! As soon as that blasted sound plays!" She turned to the radio. "PLAY ALREADY!"

"Pinkie," said Twilight, "You can't just say 'Play already' and expect it to just-" Before Twilight could finish though, what came out of the radio but the sound of a joke snare rimshot. Pinkie didn't waste anytime in grabbing the phone and dialing the number of the station.

The phone started to ring. "C'mon, c'mon!" she whispered with anticipation. Everybody waited in anticipation as the phone continued to ring, until finally, Vinyl's voice sounded through.

"Stop the calls! We have a winner! What's your name lucky contestant?" Pinkie was praying that she was talking to her.

"P-Pinkie Pie!" she said nervously.

"Congratulations Pinkie Pie!" Vinyl sounded, "You are the lucky winner of two tickets to the Clash of Colt Comedy!" At that point, Pinkie turned dead silent. Everybody looked at her a little worried, but they were quickly blown back by the scream that followed. The scream was so powerful that it almost shattered the windows, and it didn't help knowing that Pinkie was still on the phone, so her scream had probably deafened every mare and stallion with a radio at hand.

"OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Pinkie shouted into the phone. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME!"

"Oh I think I know," mumbled Vinyl. Apparently she had gotten the full shot of the scream. "But don't hang up yet Pinkie, 'cause there's more!"

"What could be better?" asked Pinkie.

"If you can answer a simple trivia question in less than 10 seconds," said Vinyl, "Not only do you get two front row tickets but also...backstage passes!" This time, the girls were ready. They all dived over to Pinkie and cupped their hands over her mouth as she screamed again. "Ok Pinkie," said Vinyl, "Here's your question: What was the name of Funny Bone's first ever album?" Pinkie didn't even need to think. She knew everything about Funny Bone.

"That's easy," she giggled, "It's called 'Laughing at Myself'!" The sound of dinging was heard.

"That is correct!" announced Vinyl. "Congratulations Pinkie!" Not only do you have two tickets, but backstage passes too! You can pick them up at the studio. Thanks for playing!" Pinkie hung up the phone as Twilight turned off the radio.

"I can't believe it," Pinkie shouted as she jumped all around the castle, "I'm going to the show! I'm going to meet Funny Bone! I'm going...wait!" She stopped in midair. "Who's going to take the other ticket?"

"Don't look at me," said Rainbow. "I have weather patrol tonight."

Pinkie turned to Applejack. "Nope, Ah got chores t'do."

Fluttershy. "I'm going on a picnic with the animals."

Rarity. "Oh come now darling, you know I don't do comedy."

Only Twilight was left. "Well...I suppose it would be good to take notes on different forms of comedy."

"Wheee!" cheered Pinkie. "Let the comedy begin!"

The weekend came before anybody knew it, and Friday night, Pinkie and Twilight were sitting in the front row facing a big stage set up by the gazebo. It seems that almost the who town had come, and even more, depending on how many traveled from how far. Pinkie was waiting with anticipation, bouncing up and down in her chair. Twilight was sitting patiently with a notebook and quill in hand. Apparently she was on a mission to get a learning experience from this whole craziness. It seemed like an hour later when a spotlight shined on the stage, and an announcer said, "Mares and gentlecolts! Are you ready to laugh your flanks off? Then please give a big hand for the Clash of Colt Comedy collection! Presenting, the Emperor of Improve: Mr. Wacky!" An applause sounded as a stubby stallion with a balding head walked on stage. "The Prop Prince: Carrot Tail!" A freckled stallion with a puffy orange mane and tail walked out. "The Action Humor Stallion: Slapstick!" On came a thin stallion with black hair wearing a beanie. "The Observation Expert, Witty Mind!" A short stallion with a mullet and goatee came out. "And last but certainly not least, the one they call the King of Jokes! The one comedian to sell more albums from a young age! Probably the greatest comedian in all of Equestria! Please welcome...FUNNY BONE!" The applause was deafening as Funny Bone ran out on stage.

He was tall unicorn, probably at least six feet, had a fire red coat with a curly-haired dark brown mane. His cutie mark on the back of his right hand was a pair of big-nosed mustache glasses. Pinkie was clapping and wooting like crazy as Twilight wrote some notes down. The show was a complete success. Each act was special in its own way. Mr. Wacky dealt with doing everything off the top of his head. Carrot Tail used props to make puns and jokes. Slapstick made funny motions that mostly involved clowning around. Witty Mind made funny observations on current events. Twilight laughed the most through him. She was laughing so hard she could barely write. But the best act was yet to come. As Funny Bone walked out on stage and the applause lasted almost five minutes. After it died down, his act began. "Hey everybody!" he shouted through the mic. "What a great crowd! Y'know, I once performed at a hotel in Baltimare, and the hotel was so horrible, they had a sign out front that said, 'Sorry, We're Open'!" The crowd burst into laughter. The jokes just got better from there. He talked about funny moments in his life, embarrassing friends, and even made fun with the audience. He looked into the audience and saw Pinkie. His eyes went wide and he said, "Hey, what's YOUR name beautiful?"

Pinkie blushed a little bit. Nobody had called her beautiful before. "Pinkie Pie," she shouted.

"Pinkie eh?" said Funny Bone with a smirk. "I was expecting a name like Blueie or Greenie!" Everyone laughed. "But I do like your hair. To be honest, it looks like cotton candy! Did you come from a carnival?" Pinkie blushed again as the crowd laughed. Pinkie didn't mind the jokes toward her. She was just happy to have Funny Bone notice her.

After the last joke, the applause lasted twice as long as the first one. "I have to admit Pinkie," said Twilight, "That WAS hilarious. And I got a whole bunch of research about comedy."

"Great," said Pinkie, grabbing her arm. "C'mon, we're gonna meet Funny Bone!" They walked towards the stage, showing their passes to the guard, and went into a small relaxation room underneath the stage. There, sitting on a small couch, was Funny Bone, along with the other comedians. Bone looked up and stood when he saw the two pretty mares in front of him.

"Well, hello," he said as he held out a hand. "Funny Bone's the name, making ponies laugh is my game."

Twilight shook his hand. "Nice to meet you. Your show was hilarious. I'm Twilight Sparkle and this is my friend Pinkie Pie."

"Oh yeah," said Bone as he shook her quaking hand. "The pony with the cotton candy hair. Nice to meet you!"

"Y-you too," Pinkie squeaked. She tried to contain herself, but she just couldn't anymore, and she went on a ramble.

"Ohmygoshyou'reFunnyBoneyou'resofunnyI'vebeenafanofyousinceIheardyourfirstalbumIjustcan'tbelievehowfunnyyouarebutthenagainthatispartofyournameso-"

"PINKIE!" Twilight shouted as Pinkie snapped back into reality. She looked at Funny Bone, who looked utterly confused.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized, "I guess I got a teensy-weensy bit carried away."

"Ah it's fine," he replied with a smile. "That was actually really funny. You're a funny gal Pinkie Pie." Pinkie blushed harder than before and giggled at the comment.

"Thanks," she said. Suddenly, an idea came to her head. "Hey! You guys will be in town for a while right?"

"Yea," Carrot Tail responded. "For the rest of the weekend at least."

"Then how about I throw you guys a party?" Pinkie said. "Yeah! A 'You Guys are Hilarious and We Welcome You to Ponyville for the Rest of the Weekend Party'! It'll be a blast! What do you say guys?" The comedians thought for a moment before they all started answering. "I could do with a party," and, "Sounds like fun!"

"Alright Pinkie!" said Funny Bone, "You're on!"

"Okey-dokey-lokie!" smiled Pinkie. "Why don't you guys come over to the gazebo in the park tomorrow evening around 6:00?" The comedians smiled and nodded in agreement. Pinkie squealed again with excitement and she and Twilight took their leave. "Oooooo! This is going to be great!" Pinkie screamed as they walked home. "A party with Funny Bone? This is going to be the greatest You Guys are Hilarious and We Welcome You to Ponyville for the Rest of the Weekend Party EVER!! I wonder what cupcakes I should make..."