A Clandestine Practice
War? Huh. You don't want to know about war.
War? Huh. You don't want to know about war.
Alright yeah, we haven't had many, but it ain't everything you read in the newspapers. The battle for Highsaddle Range say. That was a real battle that was. Ranks on ranks of ponies fighting for some spit of land nobody had even heard of before, against things you don't even want to think about. In the mighty Princess Celestia's opinion though, it was a victory. You might have skimmed over the column that reported a marvellous victory for Equestria while I worked my flank raw in the mud, trying to kill goodness knows what. Of course, most powerful thing in Equestria couldn't be bothered to lift a single royal hoof to help the infantry.
I'm not gonna tell exactly what happened but here's the jist of it. Princess Celestia thought I did pretty well surviving that hell so gave me the honour of standing around Canterlot all day doing squat as a royal guard. At first it was nice, then it got dull. I'm a soldier. I don't get paid to stand around not helping anything, they have Princesses for that. I went into the military because I thought I could make a difference. Make my miserable life worth something. Nah. I didn't even know why I was fighting anymore.
To cut it short, I had a little disagreement with our captain, Shining Armour. He... "suggested" that I take an extended leave of absence. Note the inverted commas there, I use that term very roughly. So I decided to take it, no point in staying somewhere I wasn't wanted, nor a place I felt useful.
First train was to Applousia. Too many bad memories that way. Trottingham? The place I was born? Are you mad? Manehattan. Well that's alright, place is awful though. Last train that day was to Ponyville. I'd barely heard of that place so I took it. Small town in the middle of Equestria? Probably fit Shining Armour's definition of extended leave, not to mention I could puzzle a few things out in my head. I let the boss know my plans and packed for the trip. It was pretty bad back then, I spent that train ride thinking my whole world was upside down.
If I wasn't a soldier anymore, what was I? I had no marketable skills other than fighting. I looked at my cutie mark and pondered. It's a shield if you hadn't noticed, representing my desire to protect ponies. That's why I signed up. To give to society, then maybe it would give me a few things.
Most ponies are pretty nice to each other I've found, they're never nice to me though. Maybe it's my grey hide? Or my un-groomed brownish mane with purple highlights, long since faded to a dull pink. Something just made other ponies dislike me. Not that I was complaining, I didn't like them either. Clandestine, the unlikable grey pony who kills things for a living. That's me.
The train came to a stop, right on schedule. I picked up my saddlebags and left. I felt a strange need to get going and the few other passengers had given me odd looks through the whole journey. I had checked myself over but I couldn't see anything wrong. Just not tolerant ponies I presumed.
After debarking I decided the first thing to do was to find somewhere to stay, at least for a few days. Ponyville was pretty much your definition of a quaint small town. A few streets, a market, a few shops, a town hall. Yep, that was it more or less. I hadn't had the chance to explore all that yet. Oh no, I was about to meet someone who would later be pretty special.
"Excuse me, hello there?" I heard a pony ask from behind me. Of course, nobody talks to me unless they're in my unit, so I ignored her.
"Umm, hello? Miss?" There she was again. At this point my combat intuition twigged into action and I glanced her way. Low and behold, she was looking at me expectantly. A purple unicorn sporting a rather pretty star shaped cutie mark.
"Yeah?" I asked, rather bluntly. My mind was whirling right then. Why was someone paying attention to me? Had I done something wrong?
The unicorn took a step back and smiled at me. That put me on alert. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, you must be Clandestine."
By this point I had turned around and adopted a defensive posture, "Uh-huh," I confirmed. "What of it?"
Twilight Sparkle peered at me curiously for a moment. I already didn't like her. Then she smiled and said, "My brother said you would be coming. I wanted to welcome you to Ponyville. He mentioned that you wanted to figure some things out, so I thought I would offer you a place to stay while you're on your leave."
Great. The boss sent his sister to spy on me. I should have just left without telling him where I was going.
"Yeah that's great," I said, looking to get around the annoying unicorn. "But I'd rather stay at the inn or a hotel rather than some stranger's house."
The unicorn giggled, "I'm sorry. Ponyville doesn't have any hotels, it's a small town with very few visitors. Besides, any friend of Shining Armour's is a friend of mine."
I just couldn't contain myself after that. "Friend?" Then it sunk in that I'd either end up staying at this unicorn's house, or sleeping in a tree. Since I didn't want to sleep in a tree, I stopped my sentence there and modified it somewhat. "He's not my friend, he's my boss. Still, I guess I'll have to take you up on your offer, if there's nowhere else to stay?"
Clearly my tone hadn't settled down quite yet as the unicorn looked a little taken aback. "Ok then," she said nervously, "Follow me I guess."
We walked through the streets of Ponyville in silence. Thankfully Sparks, as I'd decided to call her, didn't bother trying to engage me in conversation. Instead I started mapping the streets of Ponyville, which wasn't too hard. We passed the town square, the town hall and the cake shop.
We arrived at Spark's house in little over five minutes. Turns out she lived in a library, I found the whole set-up quite amusing. Books arranged in a tree was pretty ironic.
"Ok, here we are," Sparks announced. "Golden Oak library, make yourself at home." Unfortunately she'd regained some of her previous cheer.
Still, the place was pretty nice. On the top floor she had set aside a small, make-up bed for me next to her own. I dumped my saddlebags beside it, the floor creaking under their weight and turned back to her. "Thanks," I said, half-heartedly.
"You're certainly welcome, would you like help unpacking?" Sparks replied and smiled.
I shook my head, "No, I've got this."
"Twilight." I head a call from up another floor. I whirled on the spot at the unexpected sound and directed my attention to a small purple and green dragon, standing at the top of the stairs.
Sparks gasped at the sudden movement and the small dragon gave a 'whoa' in exclamation.
My brain rattled and started to spew tactical information. "Dragon hatchling, male, four foot, purple and green combination unknown variant, soft hide, soft underbelly, weak spot, claws negligible, bite sharp, breath unknown, threat minimal." I shook my head to clear it, "I take it he's friendly?" I asked Sparks.
The unicorn smiled again, which she wouldn't do if there was an unfriendly dragon in the library. "Spike, this is Clandestine, remember I told you she was coming. Clandestine, this is Spike, my assistant."
Great, Shining Armour's master plan unfolds. Still, how did this unicorn get a dragon as an assistant. No doubt an interesting anecdote. For now I simply replied with, "Sergeant Clandestine," and nodded at the dragon before returning to unpacking.
"Hi Clandestine, nice to meet you," the dragon called.
"Uh huh."
At which point the unicorn walked off to talk to her dragon pal. Still, Spike, I liked that name.
My pack didn't contain much, but it was heavy. My "regulation" plate armour, which I put beside the bed. A knife, which I put under the pillow. A lance, which I laid up against the nearby wall. Food rations for several weeks as well as water. Cold weather clothes, various survival gear. Nothing that typical ponies pack for their holidays.
Once I'd finished I proceeded downstairs to the library proper. I planned to go and find somewhere quiet where I could survey the surrounding area. Sparks was reading a book over by a lectern and Spike was stacking shelves. Neither had noticed me so I debated sneaking out in order to not attract their attention. I decided against it, mainly because I'd rather not tee off my host too much. "I'm going out," I called.
Sparks immediately put her book down at this and Spike turned his attention to me too. "Oh ok," she said, sounding surprised. "Well, before you go I was going to invite you to a party my friend Pinkie Pie was putting on for your arrival. I happened to mention you were coming to her and she decided to throw you a "get to know you" party."
That little statement hit me like a freight train. They were putting on a party for me? Why? What had I done? Was this all some plot of Shining Armour's to dismiss me from the guard entirely? Did Sparks want to humiliate me in some way because I didn't like her?
It took a good couple of seconds before I could respond and I could tell Sparks was worried about what I was going to say next. Eventually I just said, "Where is it?"
To which Sparks responded, "The town hall, it's the big building in the centre of town."
Yeah, I know what building it is thanks... Is what I wanted to say, I also wanted desperately to say no, but I also wanted that bed. "Hmm, maybe, if I feel like it." After all, stealth was my specialty. I was sure the ponies would never notice their guest of honour, much less her leaving.
Glad to be leaving Sparks and her library behind for a while, I headed out the door and out of town for a walk.
I'll admit, I'm not admirer of beauty, but central Equestria sure is pretty. It was nearing autumn, my favourite season. The flowers were just finishing their summer bloom and the animals were busy scurrying around starting their nests for the winter. I decided to go at a light trot to the base of Winsdown Falls. Of course, it would have taken days to get to the top, but the base of the mountains offered plenty of hills with which to survey the surrounding countryside. It was there I stopped to look at the view. Some might call it spectacular, me I called it useful.
Now I know what you're thinking. I'm a right donkey brain for being so rude to Twilight. I still am in some ways, but you have to remember who I was back then. I was a soldier, one of the toughest, and you don't become that by being nice. I had never really known friendship, and as you know, betrayal was something I came to expect from people. I didn't want Twilight to like me, I just wanted her to tolerate me for long enough before the inevitable rejection so I could move on elsewhere. Back then I was a horrible pony, but only because the world had made me horrible. I just needed a shove in the right direction. Something I was desperately trying to find in all the wrong places. I thought that maybe I just needed another cause to fight for, or another enemy to slay. How wrong I was.
After I'd taken in the view and imprinted a map of the surrounding area in my head I decided to go back to Ponyville. It was getting late and pretty soon Princess Celestia would lower the sun. Not to mention I had a party to turn up to and leave.
Sparks was still reading when I got back, I didn't know how long I'd taken but I was pretty sure it was several hours. She also seemed to be quite engrossed and didn't realise I'd walked in until I announced myself. "I'm back, what time is this party."
Sparks looked around for a moment until she could fix her eyes on me. "Oh good, I was starting to worry you'd run off or something. The party is in an hour so I thought we'd get ready then head off soon."
I decided to nod at that. It was a good plan after all. "What do we need?"
Reassured by my apparent enthusiasm Sparks smiled and simply stated, "We don't need anything specifically, I thought we should just talk."
"Talk?" I asked, sort of expecting where this was going.
"Yeah. See, thing is, some of my friends can be a little bit intense. I just thought I should warn you. It'll be a good opportunity for you to meet some friends as well, so maybe you should, lighten up a bit? I know you must be tired from your journey but, I hardly know anything about you."
I almost chuckled at that. I was certain she knew a lot more than she was letting on. She was definitely in on her brother's plot. Still, it wouldn't hurt to indulge her. "I'm sorry I don't seem all bright and cheery," I began. "But I'm not exactly a bright and cheery pony, in case your brother hadn't told you. You want to know a few things about me, fine, as long as we have a few ground rules."
Sparks sat back down on her cushion. "Ok, what are these rules then?" she asked suspiciously.
"Rule number one, you're not my friend, nor am I going to make friends." I started. That made Sparks look a little shocked, but she regained her composure pretty quickly. "Rule number two, you ask a question you'll get a truthful answer." That seemed to make her feel better. "Rule number three, you ask a question, I get to ask a question." She smiled at that for some reason. "Rule number four, I ask a question, I get a truthful answer. Do we have a deal?"
Sparks nodded enthusiastically, probably just glad I was playing along. "You have yourself a deal. Shall I start?"
I sat myself down across from her and nodded my approval, then prepared myself for whatever probing questions she had readied for me.
The first question was pretty neutral, "So, where are you from originally, Clandestine?"
"My parents are among the social elite in Trottingham. I left there to become a guardspony, travelled around to wherever I was needed. Spent six months in Canterlot after the battle for Highsaddle Range, now I'm here." I smiled for the first time in a good long while. "My turn." I could have asked her anything right then, but I decided since she was being subtle, I would be too. "So what exactly do you do here?"
Sparks let off a smile that let me know she was oh so full of herself. I thought I'd gained an advantage then but what she said next sent me reeling. "I am Princess Celestia's personal student and I'm here studying the magic of friendship."
I didn't know what was more surprising, the fact I'd managed to make the acquaintance of Celestia's student, or that she was studying some weird abstract subject matter. My surprise must have been visible on my face, and my voice as I exclaimed, "You're Celestia's student?"
She giggled annoyingly, "That's right. I thought my brother would have told you his sister was Celestia's student."
I shrugged, "He might have done. Still, I expected Celestia's own personal student to be... erm." I didn't want to offend her by saying 'more up herself' so I switched to, "taller."
That made Sparks giggle again.
I didn't bother to ask about her subject matter, it made me laugh too much and I didn't want to offend Sparks. Now I knew she had the ear of my boss and the most powerful being in Equestria, I decided to be a little more cautious from now on.
"What made you want to be a guardspony?" Sparks asked next. Here came the prying questions.
Unfortunately, if I wanted to know what I wanted to know I'd have to give up that snippet of my character. "I had a hard time as a foal, no friends, a horrid family. Yeah, one day at some parade a guardspony offered to help me when I was feeling a little down. I thought it very strange how someone was actually being nice to me and he earned my friendship. I thought that if he could do it, so could I. From then on I wanted to protect ponies, maybe then I'd get a little respect." Something tugged inside my heart right then. I hadn't thought about my old sergeant in a while. He had been my inspiration, right until he betrayed everything he stood for. "Of course, it didn't work. Now I don't really know why I want to be a guardspony." I shook my head lightly since Sparks was looking curious. No doubt the next question would probe further now she knew she'd hit a nerve.
"My turn," I rebuked. Now I was going to be blunt, I wanted to know one thing right then. "What did Shining Armour tell you about me?"
That made her blink. I guess Sparks was expecting me to be friendly and ask another question about her or something. "Erm," she began, then straightened her posture. "My brother said you were having some problems fitting in at Canterlot and you had decided to take some time off. He also said you were conflicted about what had happened at the battle of Highsaddle Range, you needed a friend. He said you were coming to Ponyville and that I should be careful with you. I ignored that part and decided I would try and be that friend." This made Sparks look a little annoyed, "I know what it's like to have no friends and to think you don't need them, you're wrong Clandestine."
I shook my head, "No, you're wrong Sparks. I don't have friends, friends get you killed in my line of work."
"Everypony needs friends Clandestine," Sparks said defiantly.
I ignored her and just sat there waiting for her next question. Which was inevitably, "Why don't you have friends, Clandestine?" after Sparks had regained her composure.
"I already told you, friends get you killed in my line of work," I answered evasively. This didn't satisfy Sparks, who glared at me. "Fine, I didn't have them as a foal. Everypony didn't like me for one reason or the other. My parents wanted me to be a lady so they could marry me off to some stallion and forget about me, while improving their own social standing. The guardspony I mentioned earlier became my sergeant, my idol. He was my friend, so were the guardsponies in my platoon. Most of them died on some mission or another so I stopped making friends. My Sergeant turned against us in the battle for Highsaddle Range, killed the whole platoon and went mad with dark power. I put him down. Since then I know I can't trust anypony, and to think I was starting to believe I was fitting in for a while. No, the only reason I survived was because he thought I would turn traitor with him. Ever since we met he was grooming me for that moment."
I felt Sparks was starting to understand my reasons for being who I was. A strange feeling I hadn't experienced in a while. Still, it was my turn. This was going to be the last question since it was nearing time to head off, and I had a good one planned. "Alright, why do you want to be my friend?"
This one seemed to come easy to Sparks. "Because everpony should have friends," she began. "Friends can be a tremendous source of strength and happiness and everpony should be given the opportunity to share in the magic of friendship. It sounds like you're lacking in all those things, so I want to help."
Silly 'friendship is magic' sentiment aside, it was nice to hear that she was willing to help me. I doubted her, obviously, and I was pretty sure she had her own motives about this. When it came down to it, I didn't expect her to actually follow through on her word. Still, it was nice to think I had some support for a change.
Sparks looked up at me hopefully. I shrugged and said, "Cmon, we'll play a little more later. We have a party to get to."
Disappointed, Sparks nodded and beckoned for me to follow.
We walked to the town hall where low and behold, a party was taking place just as Sparks had said. Only I didn't expect quite the show. Balloons were tied to everything that you could tie string to, streamers filled the air and happy party music was being played inside. There were a lot of ponies here, all smiling and looking forward to the night's festivities.
I thought it was awful.
"What the hay, has the whole town come out or something?" I asked my comrade.
"It looks like Pinkie went a little over the top again," she commented with a bit of cheer in her voice. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine."
From there I took the lead through the crowd. You might say I had a certain presence that made ponies back away if I stepped forward. Still do. It was helpful then to navigate the tight crowd. Everypony thought it in their best interests to get out of the angry looking unicorn's way.
After carving our way through we entered the town hall, and it was as bad as outside. Balloons, streamers, confetti, a big welcome banner. The only thing that was missing was the kitchen sink. At any rate, I was instantly regretting going, because I was certain it was going to be downhill from there.
There was a loud gasp from my left, "It's her."
My life was about to get a lot worse.
At that point a pink coloured earth pony jumped in front of me, and started singing. What was it? Oh yes...
"It's your welcome welcome party
I say how do you do?
I'm your welcome welcome pony
To say hip hip hooray
Oh my name is Pinkie Pie and I say how do you do?
It's your welcome welcome party
In Ponyville today."
At which point I heard a cannon fire and my vision was completely obscured with party streamers. I pushed away the haze of party decorations and glared at the pink pony. "Welcome to Ponyville, I'm Pinkie Pie and I can tell we're going to be the best of friends."
The room was silent then. Since the cacophony of noise had erupted everyone had turned to stare at this, Pinkie Pie. Now they were staring at me. I could feel the cogs of their minds turning. How will she react? Who is she? Those scars are awful. She gives me the creeps. I could also imagine hearing Spark's heart skip a beat.
Instead of reacting to Pink I turned to the crowd and loudly demanded, "What are you all staring at. Yeah I'm new, now get back to your party."
The ponies muttered to themselves then music started to play and they returned to their drinks.
I moved to sidestep Pink but she stepped in front of me, blocking my way. "You're Clandestine aren't you, ohh, I can't wait to meet you."
I was about to give the annoying pony a piece of my mind before Sparks intervened. "Err, Pinkie. Why not give Clandestine a bit of space, she's quite tired."
Pink's eyes widened, "But, you need to play pin the tail on the pony and we need to drink punch and we need to get to know each other and..."
"Pinkie..." Sparks groaned. Evidently it wasn't just me that was annoyed by the pink pony.
She sighed, "Ok Twilight, after all, there's so many other ponies who want to meet you. See you later, I can't wait to talk to you again." She then bounced off, quite happy.
I hated her already.
Sparks chuckled nervously, "So yeah, that's Pinkie Pie. Sorry, she can be a little intense."
Now I wasn't saying ponies shouldn't have a spring in their step, but that one had far too much energy for me. All I could think of to say was, "Please tell me that one isn't your friend."
That smile from Sparks was all I needed for a groan to escape.
"Pinkie Pie can be a bit, intense, yes, but she's a very good friend. Harmless. In fact she's everyone's friend, you could learn a lot about friendship from her."
Yeah, because I need to know about friendship. I kill things for a living, the last thing on my mind is friendship. "Whatever, please tell me there's somepony here who isn't crazy?" I asked.
All Sparks could respond with was, "Give her a chance and you'll make a friend for life."
And all I could respond with was, "I don't have friends, remember."
I decided it would be best to get some punch at that point. Ignoring Spark's protests I wandered through the party to the punch bowl. It was lemon punch, which was fortunate because it was a favourite of mine. I poured myself a cup and took a healthy gulp. I hadn't realised how thirsty I was, it felt like there was a wedge of sandpaper stuck in my throat. I downed the cup and poured myself another.
"You'll wana go easy wi' that lest y'e get sugar rush now."
I turned to greet the strange accent which appeared to come from an orange pony with a blonde mane, wearing some sort of sunhat.
"Sugar rush is the least of my worries," I replied, greeting this stranger. "If I knew this town started parties for strangers, then I probably would have holidayed elsewhere."
The stranger seemed interested in that. "You must be Clandestine, my name's Applejack," she introduced herself.
Jack, she was Jack to me from then on out. "Why is it everypony already knows who I am?"
Jack smiled awkwardly, "Well, err. Didn't Twilight tell you? Her brother said you were havin', difficulties..."
That was one word for it.
"... and she decided to help you out."
Now that I'd heard it twice, that changed things. I'd been assuming up to this point that my boss, Shining Armour was behind it all. Clearly I had assumed wrong. "So Sparks set all this up?"
With a giggle Jack put me right, "Nah, the party was Pinkie's idea. Do you like it?"
How evasive. Still I decided to be honest to this stranger and gave it to her straight. "No, it's all a bit too much for not a lot. I'm just one pony, and I'm not even a likeable one, why do all this unless..." I trailed off in thought.
"Unless...?" Jack prompted.
Unless you had something to gain, you always do. As usual my words didn't match my thoughts. "Never mind."
"Well," Jack put in as I was about to walk away. "For what it's worth, I like you. Sure, you might think it a bit much, but we're just doing what we can to help a friend in need."
There it was, that F word again. I decided to put Jack right, "I don't have friends. The fact that you would do this for just anyone, is a little too hard to grasp."
As usual, that left the pony confused, and I took the opportunity to meander away with my punch secured.
The party was going great, I'd spoken to two ponies and they'd both succeeded in getting on my nerves, one more than the other admittedly. Looking back, I was a bit hard on Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. They were just trying to help in their own way. I found it downright bizarre that they would go to all that effort just to help me. A stranger, and that they would seek to be my friend just like that. I didn't know a single pony who did that, I knew plenty who wanted to get under my skin for one reason or another. Perhaps that's why I was such a horrid pony back then. So please, I apologise for my actions back then. I didn't know what I know now and that's that you should always try to help somepony in need, even if they're not your friend. After all, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. There's a lot of good in this world, I just couldn't see it back then.
"Ahh, there you are Clandestine," came the familiar call of Sparks. She was over by the dance floor, standing next to...
Well, when I first saw Rainbow Dash I did a double take. I hadn't ever seen a pony who looked so colourful. Not only that, she looked tough. My kind of pony.
Still, I looked over to see Sparks standing next to a blue pony with a rainbow coloured mane. My eyebrow raised at the pegasus, I was intrigued.
Sparks handled the introduction. "Clandestine this is Rainbow Dash, Rainbow, this is Clandestine."
Rainbow looked at me briefly, sized me up and greeted me with a "What's up."
I smiled at her. Not because I particularly liked the casual greeting, I was just glad somepony didn't immediately pounce on me the moment she met me.
I thought it best to reply with my own, "What's up." That was clearly the wrong move since awkward silence then followed.
My brain leapt out and prodded me with a memory. Some private from the winged cavalry telling me about a Rainbow Dash performing a sonic rainboom at some flight show. If this was the same Rainbow Dash, then the pegasus would have gone to flight school, and if she was good enough to pull off a feat like that, then surely she would have gone to flight academy. Flight academy was glory-boys territory, which was the infantry's name for the Wonderbolts back then. I hated their guts because they always stole the credit for our hard work, hence the name "glory-boys". Nevertheless, I'd spent enough time with some of the stallions in the mobile infantry platoons to know the academy greeting.
"Hey, rookie," I snapped at the rainbow pegasus before Sparks could interupt.
Rainbow looked at me with puzzlement in her eyes.
I stomped the ground, "Dust your wings and lift your hooves..." I began.
Rainbow was surprised for a moment, then soon caught up, "...we're going on an awesome pegasus ride..." she replied.
"... the cavalry's the best and we're outflying the rest...
"... yeah come on and change your fortune..."
"...with a sonic rainboom."
The pair of us then slammed our shoulders together and cuffed each-other around the head. It felt good to have someone else who knew one of the many soldier's rituals in the room.
"Hey, how did you know that? You're not a pegasus, I'm pretty sure you couldn't have gone to the academy." Rainbow asked, puzzled.
I gave her a wicked smile, "No but I did a tour with the mobile infantry. Plenty of pegasi in the winged cavalry around to let me in on your little secrets."
Rainbow nodded and gave me a sly smile, "That's cool, I bet you've never met the Wonderbolts though?" she asked, sounding rather confident.
"Erm, mobile infantry?" Sparks asked, interjecting into the conversation. "I've never read about them, who are they?"
I turned to Sparks to explain, though I was a little unsure how to explain it to someone who obviously had no knowledge of military matters. "Mobile infantry are better troops than regular infantry, each platoon is made up of half pegasi, half other ponies. Usually the majority of the second half are unicorns since they're lighter. Anyway, the pegasi pair up with another pony and carry them across the field to an advantageous position, like an exposed flank or something. The pegasi drop the infantry there and then go elsewhere, the infantry who were dropped then fight like regulars from then on. They're like shock troops." At which point I turned back to Rainbow, "And not that I've met a Wonderbolt, but I don't like them, neither does the mobile infantry."
Rainbow looked quite genuinely shocked at that statement, and a little angry. "What?" she exclaimed, "How can you not like the Wonderbolts, they're awesome."
I gave off a chuckle, "They're glory boys, special operations. The regular army doesn't like it when certain members get special treatment."
The pegasus didn't look the least bit convinced, so I pressed on. "They take the best equipment and the best supplies away from the regulars when they need it the most. Not to mention they always take the credit even if they happen to be in the same action. If the mobile infantry take a hill away from some nasties, then the Wonderbolts show up to mop up, the Wonderbolts will be the ones on the front page."
The Rainbow pegasus still didn't look convinced, but I think I gave a good account of myself. She shrugged, "Whatever, they're still the best fliers in Equestria."
I couldn't really argue with that, so I didn't even try. "A fair point," I conceded, and waved my hoof dismissively. "Besides, this is all just soldier's talk, best not to take my complaints too seriously. After all, I've never actually been in the field with them, I'm sure they do good work."
I received a nod from my new pegasus acquaintance at which point Sparks changed the subject to something less inflammatory. "Oh Rainbow, I forgot to ask, what is the weather schedule like."
"Hmm?" Rainbow replied. "Oh, well, we've got a shower coming in tomorrow, apart from that it'll be clear for a while."
I nodded along with Sparks at the information. At least then maybe I could do some thinking about what my next move was. I didn't have much time to ponder it though.
The following events are a little hazy I'm afraid. You can't really remember every detail from a battle like the one that unfolded. Suffice to say I've done my best over the years to recapture what exactly went through my head.
This is what happened next.
I was about to turn to Rainbow Dash and ask her if she was indeed the pegasus I'd heard of when a loud roar could be heard from outside. "What the hay was that?" I asked.
Sparks shook her head, "Nothing good."
Several ponies darted into the hall from outside shouting in panic.
"Yeah, I'd say that's my idea of 'nothing good' we'd better check it out." Rainbow replied, flying off at lightning speed through the door.
Sparks and I were a little slower, darting out the door as fast as possible.
We were treated to the wonderful scene of a large Neman Lion tearing through Ponyville square, smashing the nearby houses and destroying a great deal of the party decorations that were outside at the time. Fortunately I didn't see any ponies were injured.
"Now it gets fun," I muttered.
Sparks and Rainbow took a step forward, but before they could leap into action I shouted at them, "Hold up."
They turned to me, irritated.
"Hey, I'm the soldier, I'll handle this." Looking back it's easy to say that I was in the wrong, but I had no idea if these ponies were actually any good at fighting right then.
Sparks replied, "We can't argue Clandestine, we need to drive the lion away from the town."
"Yeah," Rainbow added, "We can handle ourselves, now come on."
The Neman Lion let off a deafening roar yet again, all three of us stopped dead in our tracks and shuddered at the noise.
I was the first to shake off the effect and galloped towards the threat.
"Hey Meanie," I heard the voice of the annoying pink pony, mad with anger. "You're popping all of Clandestine's balloons, stop it right now."
Indeed, not that I'd noticed, but a great deal of the balloons now lay on the floor. They were deflated, popped and useless.
The Neman Lion turned to Pink. The thing towered over her being at least four times her height. A large paw raised up to the sky to swat the pink pony.
Pink looked up at the lion with wide eyes as the paw came down, right before I pushed her out of harm's way of course.
That accomplished, I shifted onto my front legs and bucked as hard as I could, smashing the lion's front leg with a powerful kick. The counter attack made the lion back off a short ways.
Meanwhile, Sparks had been readying some magical attack. The lance of energy streaked through the air and bounced harmlessly off the lion's hide.
Rainbow had charged straight at the lion, using her wings to give an advantage in height. She dive bombed the creature, hitting it square in the face.
The combined onslaught sent the thing into a rage and it roared again. The sound was deafening and all four of us had to stop and cover our ears.
That moment's hesitation was to be Rainbow's downfall, the lion cuffed her right out of the sky. The Rainbow pegasus was sent hurling across the square with a shout.
I managed to recover just after and nudged Pink from her dazed state. "Pink, get out of here, now," I barked.
She pointed across the square, "Twilight," she squealed.
Indeed, Sparks had readied another bolt of energy but this one bounced harmlessly off the creature as well. For some reason magic wasn't having any effect on the thing.
The lion dashed across the square and, I had trouble grasping it's reasons for doing this at the time too, picked up Sparks in its paw.
The purple unicorn started kicking and screaming to no effect. Then the lion began to run out of Ponyville. "Sparks, ahh hay," I swore, in hot pursuit.
The lion was too fast for me, I knew I was going to lose it. Still, I was willing to try, nobody trashes my party except me. As they got further and further away I began to realise it was pointless, even if I caught it I wouldn't be able to take it down. I charged my horn and launched a spell, not at the lion, at Sparks.
I had a suspicion that my magic wouldn't work on the lion so instead of directing my tracking spell at the lion, I directed it at Sparks. That would mean if she was being kidnapped then I could easily find the creature's lair, and destroy it.
The spell worked and Twilight glowed faintly in the distance. The lion was a little too preoccupied by my pursuit to notice.
I came to a halt just outside of Ponyville and the lion began to speed away. I was quite winded from the chase and I laid down, panting.
"What happened, it's getting away, where's Twilight?" I got bombarded with questions after a brief minute of sitting down.
I turned up to see Rainbow looking at me expectantly, "It took Twilight, goodness knows why." I informed her, "I can't catch it so I put a tracking spell on her."
"You can't catch it maybe, but I can." The pegasus launched herself into the air.
Only to fall back down to the ground as Jack grabbed her tail. "Hold your horses, ya'll just went a round with that thing an' it ain't a good idea to go for another."
"But it's getting away, it has Twilight," Rainbow protested.
"Twilight can take care of herself, besides, we're gonna need a plan to rescue her," Jack reasoned.
I glared at Jack, "What do you mean 'we', I'm the soldier here."
By this point Pink had caught up with two other ponies I hadn't met before. "We're all goin' together," Jack stated. "We're Twilight's friends, she depends on us, so we gotta be there for her."
At that point I really didn't want a bunch of civilians trotting after me messing up whatever plan I'd concoct to free Sparks. They might even get themselves captured as well, then I'd have more hostages to worry about. Still, I could tell Jack wasn't going to back down.
"Ugh," I complained. "Fine, just stay out of the way. First things first, we need to know what we're up against." And I knew just the place I would find that information.
I began to trot to the library with the other ponies in close pursuit, "Good idea, then we can find out why the hay Twilight's magic didn't work," Rainbow interjected.
"I'm still waiting to find out what exactly is going on, all I heard was screaming and a dreadful roar that woke me from my beauty sleep," said the white unicorn with the purple hair.
She was following me so I assumed she was some friend of Sparks as well as the other pony I didn't know. That one had a pink hair and a yellowish coat. She was a pegasus and looked rather scared, but determined.
"A Neman lion came outta nowhere and took Twilight is what happened," Jack filled in the unicorn.
"A Neman Lion?" the unicorn exclaimed, "I thought those were extinct."
This time I was the one to answer, "Nope, they're alive all right. I've heard tales of them ranging in the unicorn hills, a few scouts go missing from time to time."
"And who pray tell are you?" The unicorn retorted, sounding a little flushed.
Her attitude was starting to irritate me and her posh accent reminded me a lot of my parents. Not a good thing. "I'm Clandestine, and I'm probably your only hope of seeing your friend again, so let's all concentrate real hard on finding a book on Neman Lions, huh?"
I wasn't sure what her reaction was, but I'm pretty sure she gave off a 'hmph' in disgust.
Kicking in the library door I turned my attention to the massive stacks of books. "Fan out and find what we need ponies, move," I barked.
Fortunately nobody objected to being ordered around just yet, though I was pretty sure I heard muttering. "Spike, sound off, we need everyone we can get," I shouted up the stairs.
Whether he heard me or not I didn't know, I started pouring the shelves for anything that would give me a clue as to the Neman Lion's weaknesses. Any advantage at all would have been good.
It took us all two hours of searching through the library, and by the time we were done the whole place was a mess. Spike got up eventually to help us look after a lot of shouting on my part. The idea that Sparks was missing was the thing that got him up in the end. For a well organised librarian, Sparks really made it hard to find anything.
"Ohh I found it," Pink shouted from across the room.
All of us put our books down and crowded around Pink.
"Where was it in the end?" I asked.
"The big book of Neman Lions, it was under dangerous creatures."
Of course it was... Maybe we were all just bad at finding books.
"Ok," I began to read aloud. "Neman Lion fur is incredibly dense and tough, only the strongest of weapons can penetrate it. Magic doesn't affect Neman Lion fur due to its strong resilience against magical energy. This is caused by its... blah blah blah. Oh for goodness sake just tell me how to kill it. There. A Neman Lion's only weakness is also its strength. It's mouth is extremely sensitive due to the amount of pressure it is put under when it give off it's terrifying roar."
"Kill it?" the yellow pegasus asked. "You're not going to harm him are you?"
I was totally dumbstruck by that sentence. "Of course I'm going to harm it, I'm going to harm it a lot if it won't give back Sparks."
"Oh," the pegasus replied, "oh my..."
I continued reading. "Neman Lions are known to capture the friends and relatives of ponies who could be considered strong warriors. This behaviour is known to be a challenge to the warrior to save their friend or relative and provide a challenge for the Neman Lion."
Everyone turned to look at me, "So great," I stated. "This whole thing is my fault because it thinks Sparks is my friend. Well, it got one thing right."
Jack raised her eyebrow at me curiously, "I thought you said you didn't have friends."
I smiled at that, "I don't. It got one thing right, I'm one tough soldier."
"Well dears this is all very well," the purple haired unicorn began, "but we should really have some sort of plan."
"We do," I said. "Track it, find it, kill it."
"A tad bit extreme don't you think?" the white unicorn asked.
She spoke with an air of authority and aristocracy so I decided to call her Posh for the time being.
Over the years I'd been taught one major lesson by my old sergeant. Sure, he was a traitor, but he was a smart traitor. It wasn't so much a lesson as a principle of being for one to live by. I repeated it to Posh now, "If it's hostile, you should probably kill it before it kills you."
"But umm," the yellow pegasus interrupted.
For which I glared, angrily at her.
"Err, nevermind," she said meekly. Clearly that one was a bit of a pushover.
"We might not have to kill it," Jack reasoned. "Maybe if we talk to the lion it'll let Twilight go."
The others seemed rather hopeful about this idea. I just snorted. "Whatever. If you girls want to accompany me then we'll leave at first light. No point going into the hills in the night, might run into something else we don't want to mess with. Agreed?"
"Agreed," they chimed in. Even Pansy, the name I decided to give to the yellow pegasus.
After that they all filed out one by one, Jack looking back at me with an expectant look. She didn't say anything but I expect she was a little upset about my behaviour. Not that I cared, I just wanted Sparks brought back.
Spike went back to bed as soon as we were done and I was inclined to do the same, but my body still raced with adrenaline. It had been a while since I'd been in a fight like that.
To clear my head I went to the balcony and stared out across the night sky. Princess Luna sure did make it pretty that night. Then again, I'd always liked the night. In the night I didn't feel so much like an outsider. I was starting to get a little emotional right then. In fact, I was actually starting to miss that purple pony. "Twilight, don't worry, I'll get you back safe and sound." After all, she was just trying to be my friend. Maybe the world wasn't all wrong. Maybe there was something very wrong with me, and I just couldn't see it. I took a look at my hoof and I didn't like what I saw. My mane was a mess and I was an emotional wreak, hardly the saviour talked about in the great stories. I was on the verge of breaking down at that point, but I was a good soldier and held my nerve.
I realised that Twilight saw me for who I really was and that I simply saw the world completely wrong. She had wanted to help me, to be my friend. I had tossed her friendship aside, now she might be gone forever. I felt quite awful about that.
Distressed about events and upset about the course of my life, I went to bed. Things would be better in the morning. They were always better in the morning. I could just go to sleep and forget that I was probably the most miserable pony in Equestria. That I was beginning to make a friend for the first time ever and I threw her welcoming embrace off and into oblivion. That the one who still tried after all that had been captured by a Neman Lion and I was unlikely to see her again. She was only trying to help wasn't she? I tried to forget it all but every night it invaded my dreams. I still get shudders about the nightmares that stalked my steps back then. But anyway, I expect you're wondering what happened on our merry quest.
Suffice to say things didn't get out of the gate all too well. Rainbow was late as she wanted to have a lie in, Posh decided to bring far too much luggage, Pansy needed some serious convincing to step outside Ponyville and Pink talked my ear off throughout the whole painful process. The only one who actually seemed to grasp the seriousness of the situation was Jack, who I was starting to like a lot more as the morning wore on. She seemed to have that practical no-nonsense approach to the problem that was what had brought me through several hard years of campaigns. If Equestria's blood was unicorn magic, ponies like Jack were its muscle. In fact, I guess all earth ponies were. Except Pink, who was on her third anecdote about party streamers this morning.
After we finally set off we actually made some good progress. The Unicorn Mountains weren't far from Ponyville and we were only a day behind the Neman Lion. My tracking spell was working and we were following them step by step. By my estimate we were going to end up somewhere in the foothills of the Unicorn Mountains. It seemed like good terrain for a Neman Lion and not a bad place for an ambush. Soon we ended up in a wide canyon with large rocky sides. Bushes of gorse and heather swathed the tops in shadows, definitely a good place for an ambush. "Umm, girls, we still don't have a plan on how to subdue the Neman Lion," Posh interrupted my train of thought.
"The book said its mouth is the weak point, I'll shove my lance in its face and it'll be night night Neman Lion," I responded. Thankfully I had actually brought my lance.
"What about Fluttershy, you're good with animals. Remember the way you talked to that dragon," Rainbow mentioned, a little loudly than I'd like.
"Quiet, there could be anything in this canyon. Wait," I stopped. "You girls took down a dragon?"
Rainbow nodded enthusiastically, indicating Pansy. "Fluttershy here convinced it to leave and stop its smoke clouds suffocating Equestria."
They convinced a dragon? I wasn't even sure that was possible, but I remembered the dragon they were talking about. "I remember, I was gathered into a task force as a pre-emptive measure in case the diplomatic mission failed. That was you? Well, ok, maybe we have a shot here then."
Although I didn't have much faith that the Neman Lion would listen, if half of that was true then we did indeed have a shot. I would prefer to solve the matter with a more permanent solution, but since everypony seemed to be against my desired action I went along with it. "Alright then," I said. "If you can talk it into giving back Twilight then by all means, but I'll be ready with my lance in case that doesn't work."
Well there you go, there was our plan. Get Pansy to talk it down or lance the thing in the mouth. It seemed like a rather long shot, but it was the only plan we had.
Oh yeah, then this happened. "Get 'em lads."
I sort of expected an ambush, but that didn't make it any less surprising. If I remember correctly there were six or seven ponies in that ambush. They weren't Equestrian ponies though, something about them was different. They wielded some strange improvised weaponry. One had a short knife, another two had clubs. Their hair was torn and their colours drab, not to mention they were wearing some weird armour. It reminded me of camouflage armour but heavily modified. One thing was certain, these thugs weren't your common bandits.
"On the floor, give us your..." the first one began to say, right before he got a hoof in the face.
That knocked the first one onto the floor and I followed up my assault with successive attacks on the second. The third decided to swing his club and take me from behind. It was strange to see a pony rear on its hind legs to swing a weapon, most Equestrian arms were either tied to the side of the hoof, or carried on backs. I caught the blow with my back hooves, knocking the weapon aside. I then followed up with a number of blows to the chest, putting him on his back. The one with the knife circled around and again, reared up on hind legs to attack. Blocking a knife without a shield was dangerous so I didn't even try. I simply sidled out of the way then head butted him in the side. At this point the others had joined the fray. Rainbow proceeded to dive bomb into one of the ponies sidling up on my left. Jack got stuck in, charging into the knife pony knocking him down. Pink, somehow, retrieved a cannon from her packs and fired party streamers into the two ponies on my right, including the second one armed with a club. The blast completely took them off guard and they were out of the fight. That thing was effective... More surprisingly, Posh got stuck into the fight alongside Jack and delivered a very hard kick to the first club pony. He was out cold. Pansy cowered and ran into a bush.
That made it three left, one who was wrestling with Rainbow and two facing Posh, Jack and Myself. They looked rather worried about their chances. The first made to swat me which I deftly blocked and followed up with a smack to the hoof joint and chest. The second tried to encircle me but was caught off guard by Jack's second charge and Posh's follow-up buck. I proceeded to finish off the first attacker with a smack to the head then a very powerful buck which sent him flying across the canyon floor.
Rainbow finally managed to take down her thug, making that six unconscious bandits. Job well done I'd say.
"What are they wearing?" Posh exclaimed, "It's all dreadful and grey, ugh. A crime against fashion is the colour grey."
I took a look at the clothes, and l thought I'd been wrong in my initial assessment. They looked more like clothes than armour. Soft, yet hard and durable. Fortunately nobody had actually struck the armour while fighting. "It looks like clothes, but it's hard, flexible too." It almost reminded me of brigandine or chainmail.
"Rarity, you're the fashion expert, have you seen it before?" Rainbow asked.
Posh shook her head, "No I don't think so dear. It's too hard to be something I work with, is it armour Clandestine?"
"No," I replied curtly. "At least, none that I know. Take one of the vests and one of the helmets. We'll figure it out later."
Posh then proceeded to add the vest and helmet to her already overflowing saddlebags. Still, studying this new armour might be worth it.
"What about these ponies?" Jack asked.
Normally I would have rounded them up and brought them back to base for questioning, but our mission was too important. "Leave them," I ordered. "I think we taught them a pretty good lesson."
"Yeah right we did," Rainbow enthused. "Did you see Clandestine. As soon as they jumped out she was like, pow, thwack. It was awesome."
Yeah, close quarters drill sure was 'awesome'...
Everyone seemed to be in agreement, so we left the strange ponies there. In retrospect, it would have been a lot better to take them prisoner, but I had no idea what exactly they represented back then.
Still, the question of who they were hung over our heads. It just wasn't as important right then compared with Twilight's plight.
The rest of the journey was uneventful. Sure we had some chatter, but I didn't really participate much. I was pretty certain if I did I'd only cause an argument.
Eventually my tracking spell pinged and we were at the entrance to the Neman Lion's lair.
It was a cave, as you'd expect. Why does it always have to be caves? Still, now was the time to tell if the girls legendary diplomacy skills would work.
"Alright," I said, drawing my lance. "Time to go to work, you guys are up first."
Pansy shuddered at the thought, "Oh my, oh my goodness."
"Don't worry Fluttershy," Rainbow enthused. "It's not a big scary dragon, it's just a big scary lion."
Wonderful speech there Rainbow...
"I know," Pansy replied in a weak voice. "But I'm worried that it won't listen, and that sound it makes is so scary."
"Dear," Posh added. "We've handled a lot worse, it'll be fine. Now get in there and give it the stare and we'll be back home for tea."
I had no idea what this 'stare' was but if it worked I wasn't about to complain.
"I take it we're all going in with her?" I asked, getting ready to follow Pansy in.
"Err, yeah," Rainbow answered first. "Sure, into the lion's den."
"I'm righ' behind ya'll," Jack said with a nervous tint to her tone.
Pink enthusiastically bounced along behind Jack followed by a much more cautious Posh.
The cave mouth was pretty big, easily slotting the average house inside the entryway, and it continued for quite some time. I cast a 'light' spell on my lance making it glow red like a torch. For good measure I also cast a 'dancing lights' spell every fifteen meters or so. Posh lit up her horn for some extra light. The blue light clashed strangely with my own red.
"These lights will put the advantage back in our hooves. Remember this is its home turf, stay frosty," I advised.
"What?" Jack asked.
"Stay frosty," I said, silently cursing my companions for not being soldiers. "It means keep on your hooves, look out, you know."
Jack simply nodded and went back to looking around the cave suspiciously.
They were all on edge, I could tell. Well, except Pink who kept bouncing along happily. I had no idea how that particular pony was keeping so calm under pressure. I'd figured she would go soft right about now, it's nice to be wrong sometimes. This was the part I hated most about operations, when you weren't in contact with the enemy. You knew they were out there and that any second could be your last. I was nervous too mind you, I just had years of training and experience to keep on top of it. Fear is a good thing after all, makes you quicker, stronger and tells you when you really shouldn't be doing something. The trick is to control that fear and turn it into something useful.
We went quite a ways into that deep dark cave. Lance drawn, keeping our eyes on the cave walls, the faint glow of our mage lights illuminating the way.
Eventually we reached an opening in the cave. I immediately shot three 'dancing lights' spells across the cave to illuminate the area.
"Twilight?" Pansy asked into the darkness.
I was about to ask her what she was doing when I saw what was in the centre of the cave.
Twilight Sparkle, the purple unicorn we'd come to rescue sitting in the middle of the cave, chained to the floor.
No, too easy.
"Twilight," Rainbow started to glide over to help but Jack grabbed her tail before she could move more than two hoovesteps. "What the?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
"No," I stated, "That's too easy. It's a trap, I know it." I was glad Jack had also picked up on the idea.
To be sure I turned my attention back to my tracking spell. I felt a tug but it wasn't from this room. It was deeper in the cave. Whatever was in the centre of the cave, it wasn't Twilight. I conferred this information to my companions.
"You're sure? It sure looks like Twilight." Pink asked.
"Positively," I answered. "Unless something is screwing with my magic, but since my spells have been working fine I'm willing to bet that whatever is stood in front of us, it isn't Twilight."
The five of us looked at the not-Twilight nervously.
"Oooh, plot twist," Pinkie exclaimed.
Before any of us could act the not-Twilight looked up at us menacingly. With a glare, its form twisted, shifted and grew. "Yep, it's a trap," I said with a sigh.
The not-Twilight revealed itself to be the Neman Lion in Twilight's form. With a mighty howl the beast shook the walls of the cave causing us to cover our ears at the sound.
Then a very curious thing happened.
Pansy stood her ground and glared at the creature, a stare so powerful it could rout armies. "You big meanine," she declared, standing defiant. "How dare you trick us into thinking you were Twilight. How dare you take Twilight. How dare you mister," she accused, stepping toward the fearsome lion.
Even more surprising, the lion appeared to be reacting to the pony. He was actually intimidated from what I could tell. The creature growled weakly at her in response.
"No, that is not acceptable," Pansy shouted at him. "We don't fight unless we have good reason. Now, do we?"
The creature shrugged then growled again.
"Oh there there, you poor thing. It's ok, you just made a mistake. I'm sure it's easy to assume they came from Ponyville," she reasoned. "But you have to remember what is acceptable and what isn't. We all get angry sometimes, but kidnapping ponies is not the way to resolve those issues. Is it?"
The Neman Lion nodded slowly, as if unsure of itself.
"And challenging Clandestine to a duel is no way to resolve those issues either, is it?" Pansy asked.
"He what?" I asked, but I quickly shut my mouth as Jack scowled at me.
The giant lion nodded, more sure of itself this time.
"There, see, why don't you tell me what's troubling you while we go get Twilight. Would that be good?"
The lion growled in response and turned away from Pansy, stalking into the cave. Pansy followed, trotting along quite calmly.
After they were out of earshot. Ok, I bet you're thinking it, but right then I said it. "What in ten kinds of mule-sh..."
Oh wait, I can't say that can I. Erm... Yeah I actually said, "What in 'tarnation' just happened."
Posh smiled back at me, "That my dear, was the stare."
I stood there agape for a few minutes, unable to get my head around the simple concept that diplomacy can always prevail. Back then I solved problems three ways. I stepped around them, I stepped around them to go at them from a different angle or with overwhelming force.
One thing was sure. Pansy really needed a new nickname.
I wasn't sure of it then but I thought I'd heard one of the others call her Fluttershy, and that seemed a good a name as any. In fact I didn't know Rarity was called Rarity back then either. I never bothered to ask.
At any rate, Fluttershy was Fluttershy to me now. How I could have thought of her as Pansy after that I didn't know.
A few minutes later I had regained my composure and Fluttershy stepped out of the darkness with the Neman Lion and Twilight. "Now say you're sorry," Fluttershy demanded.
Obediently the lion growled, which I thought was an apology. Didn't sound like it, but I couldn't speak to animals.
"He says he's very sorry Twilight," Fluttershy translated. "He was angry at some ponies who came into his cave and attacked him. He drove them off and wanted revenge, so he came to Ponyville assuming that they came from there."
"Any reason he kidnapped me specifically?" Twilight asked, her voice sounding slightly exasperated. I guessed she was just as surprised as me to find out that the thing was letting her go at Fluttershy's insistence.
"That was because of Clandestine," she said, gesturing to me. "He saw you come to Ponyville and recognised you as the most powerful warrior in town."
I shrugged, "I guess he's not wrong. So why didn't he abduct me, or whatever."
"He needed to know if he was right," Fluttershy explained. "So he attacked the party. He thought you were friends with Twilight, so captured her to lure you here. Apparently it's an ancient tradition among his kind. He keeps to himself most of the time and didn't want to fight, but he was just so angry that he decided to revive it. He would duel you and hold you responsible for the crimes committed by the other ponies."
"Huh," was all I could reply with.
Posh stepped in, "Well I'm glad that settles that. Seems we should have taken those strange ponies prisoner. I'm guessing those ruffians were the scoundrels in question who violated this good lion's lair?"
"T'would be a pretty good guess from my reckoning," Jack replied.
"Guess we'd better get moving then," I interjected. "Don't want to overstay our welcome."
And that was that. Our merry quest brought to a rather anti-climactic closure. I didn't complain of course, I wouldn't have to fight a nigh invincible Neman Lion. Still, it almost felt wrong to me that we didn't fight it. Was that bad? Yes it was. You should always remember that even in the darkest of times, diplomacy can prevail. Even from the most unexpected of sources.
Again, the events of our trip back to Ponyville were rather uninteresting. Posh got annoyed about her hooves being muddy. There was some conversation about what happened to Twilight in the cave, which was simply that she had been kept in a cell. The only other thing that happened was my own conversation with Twilight. Which in retrospect was a lot more than noteworthy.
It went something like this. I was walking near the back of the pack, letting Jack take the lead for a while. Then all of a sudden I heard Twilight's voice in my ear. I'd been admiring the scenery and thinking over the events in the cave. Not to mention I was really glad to have Twilight back and was starting to feel a little better about my own state of affairs. "Are you ok Clandestine?" she asked quite simply. "I just wanted to know I appreciate you coming and rescuing me."
"Huh?" I replied. "Yeah well, couldn't leave you with a lion now could I? Something happened to you then I'd be kicked out of the library. Then where would I sleep," I said as a joke.
Twilight didn't seem to take it as a joke though. "Oh, well. Your concern is touching," she said, smiling nervously.
"Ahh hey," I quickly tried to salvage the situation. "I didn't mean it like that. Well," I began.
Honestly, this was probably the first time in a while I'd actually opened up to someone. It wasn't easy. I was afraid of getting hurt again, because all I'd known was pain. I remembered the simple fact that according to every source she was only trying to help me, my mind wandering back to the thoughts I had the night before.
That helped.
She looked at me expectantly as I stopped in my tracks. "Well, I guess you're my friend. Friends look out for each other, right?"
That made everypony else stop in their tracks and turn to observe our little scene.
Twilight looked surprised, but pleasantly so. She was quiet for a brief moment, then replied with a "Yes." Which made me feel a lot better for some reason. "That's what friends do, Clandestine. I probably don't even know the half of what made you hate friendship so much, but..."
I interrupted her. "No, you don't, and that's ok."
She turned to listen to me now.
"Friends don't give up on you and friends always help each other. You didn't give up on me when I was rude to you and you were only trying to help me. I thought that maybe you had some other angle, everyone I've met always does. You've proved yourself to be a true friend Twilight, and well, I think you've earned my friendship. If you'll have it."
I was pretty sure everyone present was a little shocked at my little speech. I was in part too, but that really came from the heart. All my life I'd been subjected to other ponies being nasty, manipulating me, telling me lies and feeding me half-truths. It had made me bitter, angry and had closed me off from what was really special.
What? No, it's been said to death these past few years... Oh fine. I didn't say it then but we were all thinking about what that special thing really was. The magic of friendship. Of course, back then I didn't actually believe that friendship had any magical properties. No, that was a whole other kettle of fish.
Twilight smiled at me, "Of course Clandestine. Friends?"
I smiled back. "Friends."
We bumped hooves and that was that. I had a friend. The first in a long time. Perhaps a little too long.
"Ahh would you look at that, looks like ponies really can change their colours," Jack interrupted.
I chuckled, "I've been hurt so much that I closed myself off to the kindness of others. I'm sorry about that," I was now talking to the whole group. "I've been a real buck headed fool to you all. It's just, I've never really known what it is to have friends. I tend to expect the worst from everypony. So if you'll accept my apology then..."
I was interrupted by Pinkie Pie's enthusiastic, "Yes. Yay, now we're friends. Yippie. Clandestine's my newest friend. Oh."
Then she began to sing...
"We're oh best friends, we're oh best friends
Your frown is upside down
Two best friends, two best friends
Your smile lights the day..."
Thankfully Rainbow put her hoof over Pinkie's mouth before she could utter another verse. "Alright Pinkie that's enough," she said. "I don't think we're quite there yet."
As was evidenced by the glare on my face.
"I accept your apology Clandestine," Rarity took over. "I appreciate that our, friendliness, may have taken some getting used to. I'm willing to start again if you are."
I nodded to her, appreciatively. The two of us in particular hadn't really clicked, so a fresh start was probably for the best.
Applejack was next to speak. "Well, I can see you've had a tough time, so I'll cut you some slack. I can't think of what you've been through that made you so, err. Not to offend, but mean. But if we're starting over, then no hard feelings."
It was as fair an assessment as any. "Thank you Applejack, I appreciate it," I replied.
"Well yeah, we can be friends," Rainbow said with her usual casual tone. "Just try and brighten up from now on out huh?"
I smiled at that. "I sure could do with a little laugh from time to time," I said, eyeing Pinkie Pie. Something told me she was going to be trying to cheer me up a lot more from now on.
"It's ok," Fluttershy said nervously from behind the rest of them. "We can be friends. I understand." Then she fell silent, watching me but not daring to meet my gaze.
"Thank you Fluttershy," I said, trying to encourage her. It didn't work, but at least we were on good terms now.
I felt a lot better for all of it. I had friends, finally. There were ponies in the world that didn't reject me, didn't want to hurt me. It was a strange feeling. It was a good feeling. Somehow I felt a little warmer inside as my heart began to thaw. "I have friends," I muttered. And with that, something completely inexplicable happened.
Understand that I was in the centre of all this confusion so I'm not the best pony to ask for the details.
Best way I can describe what happened was a light began to shine from my body. I was caught by some invisible force and lifted a metre off the ground. I noticed everyone startle and their eyes went wide with shock. A few backed away, others stood their ground either in confusion or determination. I felt an energy surge through me, an energy unlike any I've ever felt before or since. It wasn't painful, but it felt like I was exploding. A great pressure built on the inside of my hide and I shouted in exhilaration.
A brief moment later and it was over, and I was sprawling on the ground in confusion. Apparently I'd lifted off the ground, taken by this strange light. The light had consumed me, changed me, and spat me back out a different pony.
"Ugh," I groaned.
Whatever had just happened had felt really good, but it had drained me of any strength. "What the hay was that?" I said, standing on wobbly legs.
"Clandestine you're, blue?" Twilight commented.
"Yippie, blue," Pinkie added.
Confusion was laden in Twilight's voice, then it was laden in my head. "What?" I asked.
"Your hair, it's blue," Rarity said. She walked up to me and pointed at it with her hoof. "You're different as well. You're positively purple darling."
I took a moment to look at myself. True enough. My mane had changed from muddy brown to dull purple. The dull pink highlights morphed to blue giving my mane a cooling look to it. My hide had changed as well, from grey to a more lighter grey/purple. It looked good, more or less. "Ok, what the hay?" I asked again.
"I know I said some ponies really can change their colours but..." Applejack commented, trailing off.
"I think I might be able to explain this..." Twilight offered.
So it turned out that as I had changed inside, I'd also changed on the outside. Twilight put it down to 'the magic of friendship' healing my mental scars. Me, I just put it down to unicorn magic. Although I was starting to feel better and I had finally made some friends, I still didn't understand how friendship could actually be magical. After all, unicorn magic can sometimes have a mind of its own. That was easier to accept.
In any event, I'd finally come to terms with my past and I'd stopped letting it define my present. I was a different pony, literally and figuratively. I'd opened myself to the joys of the world, and it felt good.
The rest of that journey was spent in joyful chatter as I got to know my new friends a lot better. They were nice ponies. Turns out that Applejack ran a farm near Ponyville called Sweet Apple Acres. It was nearly cider season, so I promised I'd swing by for a cup or two. Rainbow Dash was a weatherpony, as a lot of pegasi are. She was still set on joining the wonderbolts, and I offered to teach her a few tricks that I'd picked up from the mobile infantry. Pinkie Pie helped out at the cake shop I had passed on my grand entrance. I quite liked cake from time to time and I offered to stop by. Despite her... unique energy, I actually started to like her. She existed to make ponies laugh, and that was alright by my new standards. Fluttershy cared for the woodland creatures and had a cottage a ways away from Ponyville. Over the course of the journey she started to get a lot more confident with me and we agreed to see each other at the spa in a week. Rarity, was surprisingly easy to get along with. That was of course after I pointed out that my mane was still in a complete state from the Neman Lion attack. Though I was starting to get used to it, she offered to style it for me anyway. I accepted, since I didn't know the slightest thing about hair. Turned out she owned an independent boutique. I mentioned I wasn't an admirer of beauty, nor did I care too much for pomp and ceremony. There was no argument in the fact that it was useful to look pretty from time to time though. Well, no argument from me at least. Applejack was another thing. Then she convinced me to go to the spa with her and Fluttershy. Turned out I would become a regular patron of that spa.
What? Wait, you know about what my friends did back then? How? Oh yeah, I guess they are rather well known. Why didn't you say so, I thought you just knew of them as opposed to their entire life story. Ugh, ok, well this was all news to me.
Anyway, after a long walk back I said goodbye to my new friends and headed back with Twilight. I was looking forward to a good night sleep.
I stayed up with Twilight for a while just chatting. It felt good to just talk about nothing for a while to be honest. It had been such a long time since I'd been able to unwind. Maybe that was my problem. A little ways into our conversation Twilight called Spike and the obedient dragon appeared quickly after. "Spike, take a letter," she ordered.
Spike pulled out a quill and a roll of parchment. "When I learn anything about friendship I send a letter to Princess Celestia reporting my findings," she explained. "I've learnt something today, but I think you've learned a lot more. Would you like to write the report Clandestine?" she asked.
I chuckled, "What? Getting me to do your homework for you."
We both giggled at that, thankfully.
I didn't realise then what a responsibility that was. Twilight was Celestia's personal student, letting me write a letter to her mentor was the ultimate sign that she trusted me. Not to mention I still didn't like Princess Celestia back then, even if she had personally made me a royal guard. She was the brass and I was the soldier and, although I had changed quite a bit in the past couple of days, I still held resentment toward our esteemed leader.
Nevertheless, I felt that it was important that I did it. The ultimate sign of my friendship and my change.
I nodded to Twilight and we shared meaningful look. "Dear Princess Celestia." I began, Spike diligently writing down my words. "You may not remember me but this is Clandestine, from the Battle of Highsaddle Range. I've found myself in Ponyville and I'm writing to you in Twilight's stead because I've learnt an important lesson about friendship. I've had quite a few problems over my life and it's made me bitter. I quit the royal guard not really because I didn't feel like I was doing anything, but because I didn't feel like I belonged. In fact, I never felt like I belonged anywhere until today. Friendship was just a buzzword for betrayal for many years, but now I've finally found the light in the dark. I've learnt that if you get beat up too much, it's all you expect from the world. That leaves you closed off and isolated, so much so that you're oblivious to the kindness around you. Sometimes, no matter how tough you are, you just need a helping hoof. You may choose to swat away that hoof, but if it's a hoof of a true friend then it'll always be there to show you the way. There's good in this world, sometimes you just need a friend to bring that good into your life. Your loyal subject, Clandestine."
I smiled and looked to Twilight. "How's that?"
"Not bad," she remarked as Spike finished transcribing.
With a flash of green flame the letter disappeared, off to Canterlot.
So yeah. What? You were asking for war stories? Well no, I won't tell you my war stories. I don't really want to remember those times. I prefer recalling my times spent with Twilight and my old friends. I miss them. Not to mention we all had more than a hoof involved in the whole Union incident. That was just starting as I said. That's arguably a more important narrative than the low coverage border wars that barely rated a sidebar in the news. Yeah, those were the good old days. Ponyville. I can tell you more stories from back then if you like? Tell you what, how about I tell you about the time I got to spend a week with Princess Celestia, raiding an ancient alicorn tomb. Now that was a story...
Author's Note
Told from Clandestine's perspective with her as the narrator.
