The Most F***ed up Fanfic I Will Ever Write

by aerothoz

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Dark, Comedy, Tragedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 12227

A story that will make the reader stare into the stars on a clear night, and then wonder, "What kind of story did I just read?"

Some Some story that I wrote that makes no sense what so-ever, and will make you wonder what the F*ck you just read, an I entered this into a contest, and somehow got first place. :O?

*edit* I came back to this about a year and a half later, and saw that it wasn't Submitted so others couldn't view it.
I wonder how this has 300 views without even being view-able. Oh well. Anyways, read at your own risk, I don't really remember what this is about, all I remember is that this is some f*cked up sh*t. I also remember that my mom saw this opened up in my emails and she read it, and sent it to my dad, long story short, we had a long conversation.

Oh, and one last thing, If you like this story, tell me in the comments, I could write actual real stories sometime if you guys would like.
Read at your own risk.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-24 20:12:27 UTC

PART 1!

Ponyville 2012

Tank was getting ready for the best night ever, with Rainbow Dash gone, he could finally furfill his dreams. Rainbow Dash made tank her Lesbian lover (That’s right, he’s a chick) he could finally try somepony else that doesn’t cum in 10 seconds flat (erecting a penis) He started flying around ponyville in that fucking kick ass hat that makes him fly somehow, and was stalking someponies in particular, Applejack. Tank overheard that She and Rainbow Dash were lesbian lovers before he/she came in. Applejack was trotting back in forth in the barn, and it looked like something was on her mind, while she was biting her lips. Applejack also brought in a bucket of apple’s, and looked worried wither she should proceed, or pussy out like Aaron did out of my bet. (if your curious what that means, ask me or Mcglouf, and maybe Blavaga too.) Tank was still flying In that kick ass hat that he somehow got, and was being very silent. Applejack decided she had to do it, she had to jack with apples *wink* *wink*. Applejack walked over to the bucket of apples, lied on her back, and got in position, and grabbed a big red apple. Applejack put the apple on her pussy, and said to herself “oh, yes applebloom” Applebloom was at school, and was constantly raped by Applejack, but I will save that for a different fanfic. Anywho, Tank was watching as the Apple slowly went into Applejack’s pussy, and was starting to get…bite marks? Applejacks pussy was eating the apple, and she was enjoying the flavor, by somehow having taste buds in her pussy. After the loud masturbation session, Tank walked in, and Applejack didn’t notice her/him, until Tank was putting his head in and out of his/her shell, so it looked funny, and Applejack spat an apple core out of her pussy, and hit Tank right in the face, and he/she passed out. Tank was lieing on a pile of hay, when all of a sudden he heard screaming. This Freighting him/her, but he/she was a fucking Tank, and went investigating. His fucking amazing ass flying hat went missing, and he had to walk very slow, because he was a Turtle.  *Fluttershy comes out of nowhere* Tortoise! Whatever *Fluttershy leaves* The screaming got louder and louder, and tank found a door that the sound was emitting from, and he somehow opened it. The Door lead to the basement and he heard Big Mac, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and was raping them. Tank couldn’t hold his curiosity, and went to go take a peek. Sweetie Belle was forced to penetrate Scooaloo’s Anus, and was bleeding, and shiting everywhere. Tank knew what he/she had to do. He/She went to go search for Applejack. Tank was going as fast as he/she could go, even faster then the race to become Rainbow Dash’s Lesbian lover. He was sweating everywhere, and saw Fluttershy fucking Bloomberg, when he was walking down Sweet Apple Massacre…I MEAN ACRES. Bloomberg was fucking the shit out of Flutter-she. (LAWL GOOGLE TRANSLATE) And im not exaggerating! She was shitting all over the place, While Bloomberg was vibrating her G-spot. When all of a sudden, Applejack came up to her, and said. “Fluttershy, I see your saying your good-byes to Bloomberg, but why are you staring at me? Applejack then examined Bloomberg. “wasn’t there a tree stump here before?” Flutter-she Blushed harder, and Applejack examined Fluttershy, and Bloomberg even harder. “…no” she said to her-self. She examined the bag Fluttershy brought, and saw the Monster-condom. “nooo!” Applejack then saw the Tree stump in Flutter-she pussah! “FLUTERSHY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “YESSSSSSSSSS!” Fluttershy came, and came hard. And Tank was watching the whole thing. Fluttershy passed out, because she fucked harder than a black man beats his wife. Applejack spat another apple core from her pussah, and was wearing tanks fucking flying convention fucker-not hat. Applejack said “I NEED TO FORGET!” Tank bite Applejack’s hoof, and Pointed his/her head to Carousel Boutique. Applejack then said “You fucking retarted turtle!” Flutter-she came back and said “Tortoise” and then passed out again. Applejack then said. “You know what? Rarity is best pony, and she is extremely smart, and will know how to fix dis mess!” Tank then strapped on the strapped on, strapped on hat that flies, and flew to Carousel Boutique! Applejack then said “Slow the Hay down!” Applejack then jacked off, and flew, because she came. Hard. They then got in a race to see who could fly/cum the fastest. Applejack then remembered about Fluttershy, and came even harder. She then was the second pony to do the Sonic Rainboom. (DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYMNM) She then crashed into the Carousel Boutique “WAHAHAHAH!” Rarity then said as soon as Casey Wharton 24 foot long cock made Rarity come and, too did the sonic raingasim, Destroying the secret room Thomas was in the other fan fic I am currently writing. STAY TUNED!  Tank the flew in like a boss. And saw Casey Wharton’s huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge penis. And was ashamed that it was the biggest penis in all of the known universe. Casey then said “Im going to fuck Wonder Women!” He then flew away using super-powers. ANYWHO. Rarity was still panting from the best fucking ever! Rarity then said. “Speaking of Little fucks, have you seen Sweetie Belle?” Tank then got ashamed of him/herself, and said “Gaµ?µ??? sa? ???p?a, a? µp??e?te ?a d?aß?sete a?t? t?” that’s how Turtles talk AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh. ANYWHO Applejack then said “I think shes playing tag with her friends and were running around the farm, and Big Mac said he was going to rape and murder them in the basement, but I laughed because it was a funny joke ahahahahah!” They both laughed and said “Like that will ever happen!” Applejack then said “OH IM FUCKING THINKING ABOUT IT!” she then fell on the ground and started to jack off. She then said “RARITY! I NEED TO FORGET SOMETHING! HELP!” Rarity then said “I’m da best pwny and I will help you!” She then was smart and decided to let Twilight cast a spell or someshit like that! Applejack was jacking off the whole way to the library, when all of a sudden Tank started to evolve into Warturtle, but someone, somewhere had the bright idea to hold the fucking B button like a BITCH! They then looked up in to the Air to see Casey and Wonder Woman Were fly fucking! ANYWHO! Applejack held back her urge’s to jack off, and busted into the Library, and said “TWILIGHT CAST A MEMORY FORGETING SPELL!” Twilight retorted “Why? Whats happened!” Applejack Then yelled “AHHHH IM THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN!” and fell on the ground and started to jack off! Rarity walked through the door, and Twilight casted the spell, but unluckily for her, it had a 50 yard radius, And hit Applejack and Rarity. They were both unconscious. And Tank flew in like a baws. Tank looked as Fluttershy and Spike walked in, and Spike had crack on him. Spike then said in the same exact fucking voice as the Merchant from Resident Evil 4! “Got Some Good Things on Sale Stranger!” Fluttershy said “I would like to get crack for me and my beautiful mare friend here…I mean if you wouldn’t mind.” Spike said “Not Enough Cash, Stranger!” Fluttershy then kicked him in da bawls, and took da crack, and said “Twilight, I got the crack you wanted!” “OH YESYSEESEYESYESYESYES!” she jumped around just like she was a filly and said “Okay, do we smoke or snort it?” Couch came out of nowhere to clarify the Situation “You Smoke it dumbfucks!” and vanished into thin air! Twlight then said “Ok, ill get the lighter!” Tank was watching whole thing, and was moving his head in and out of his shell again, because it was fucking funny! Flutter-she started to smoke crack, and was couching, even more then Bloomberg’s load. She then started to spaz the fuck out and said stuff she’s never said before “Hey Twilight!” “yeah?” “I fucked your Brother Shining Armor!” “YOU FUCKING WHORE!” she then realized she hated His Fiancé, and said “Wait, I love you! Let’s get high!” She then started to smoke da crack, and started to spaz da fuck out!” She then took out a gun and killed Spike, and fucked Owlious!” Who? You. Who? You. Who? FUCK YOU! Fluttershy was so fucking high, she was pretending she could fly, even though she could.  Twilight Apparntly didn’t realize the Owlious left since That episode that he was in, and will never will be back. So started to Fuck Spikes dead body. His small red penis had grown erect, and for a couple of moments she stood, uncertain of whether she should proceed. She knew it was wrong, but she had desired Spike for such a long time, and this would now be the only chance she would get to finally realise her fantasies. Of course, Spike being dead and torn open wasn't ideal, but, Twilight reasoned, it was this or nothing. She Slowly sat down on his penis, while she was still smoking crack. And Flutter-she was doing what she does in Baby Carrot (Read…Read that NOWWW) Tank then said “?e?? µ?t??a t?? spa???t?ta? s?at? ?a? ????p?e?µa µ???? ????? ??p??se?!” Rarity and Applejack then woke up, and said “huh? Where am i? Who Am I?” Both of them said in unison. Twilight, spazing the fuck at, fucking the dead body, said “You’re the fucking turtle’s sex slave!” “Tortoise!” “Shut the fuck up Fluttershy” Rarity, and Applejack didn’t know anything, and asked “Whats a Sex Slave?” Twilight and Fluttershy both stopped fucking, and said “You both have to Let Him/Her do whatever do whatever do with your bodies you retards!” John Arns then walked in and said “Holy fuck, nothing bad happens to me?” and Left. Pinkie Pie came out of no-where and her Tail was a twitching. Princess Molestia fell from the sky, and landed on John, and fucked him the ass, with her huge horn. (=D) Rarity then said “Is it just me, or does this seem…illegal?” Applejack retorted “Best let them do what they want” Tank then said “Ft?s??? st? ????f?? µ?? ?a? ?a?a??ste t? ?p?? Flutter-p?? p??ta ??a?e!” but to Applejack, it sounded like this “Im Couch, sit on my lap!” and too Rarity “I Can mount you like a Diamond Dog, and im as big as Tom!” (not as big As Casey Wharton’s!) They Both started to sit on his shell or lap, and Twilight started to smoke even more crack, and Farted on the lighter, and evolved into Flareon from Season 1 Episode 15:Felling Pinkie Keen! Tank could’nt support the weight, and his shell broke, and could no long do the funny thing that involves in out in out in out with the shell. Tank, a Tortoise with no shell, dick exposed (that’s right HIS A MAN) was not erecting a dispenser, but his own penis (that means he has a boner!) and he said “?e?? s?at? ??? ??a te??st?? p???” Fluttershy and Twlight were so fucking stoned, that they both thought they each other was Big Mac, but he was in a basement raping and killing the Cutie Mark Cursaders! And they both started to make out with each other. They were also touching each others  Neither Regions known as the pussy. They were going at it, when this turning on Rarity, and Applejack, and they  said, together “We are at your Service, My Lord!” Tank then said “?p????f?ste mai p????!” They thought he said “Bend over and touch your hoof’s!” Rarity, unfortunate enough to be behind Applejack, both bent over, and Rarity’s mouth was on Applejack’s Clint. This Pleasing Applejack, getting her Excited, spat another Applecore. And Rarity ate it, ate it all up. At this time, Tank penis was as huge as Aaron’s tummy, so very big. Rarity, was bent over, and waving her tail around, turning tank on he went to go climb up, but fell in a bucket of Radiation, and he Turned into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortoise, and could now speak English, instead of greek! Tank then said “You will suck my dick, while I suck the other ones clint!” Twlight was now close to coming, Fluttershy was Hoofing her hard, Spike’s Dead body was now starting to smell, but then everypony realized it was just John Arns getting raped outside, and Wonder Woman Fly Fucking Casey Wharton! Rarity, was sitting on Tank’s face, And Applejack started to suck his Penis and it looked like this 8===================================================================D ----     ANYWHO, Rarity tasted like Sweet Peach’s, While Applejack’s Tongue was really warm, and Soft, Cause Tank to realy get down into the grove. He hated being Rainbow Dash’s Lesbian Sex slave, he wanted to be the master, and now that he was a Mutant Ninja, he could finaly furfill his dreams! Rarity wanted to give Tank a pie, a pie made of CREAM! When all of a sudden, Applejack was so good at fucking, she got ANOTHER CUTIE MARK! This looked like Herbies on her Genitals! (TROLOLOLOLOLOL) Tank came, and Applejack drank it all up, and Rarity finally gave him the pie she was baking in her PUSSAH! It was made of all cream MMMMMHMM! Fluttershy came, and came hard, all over Twilight’s face, and they passed out. Tank then told his slaves to start making out in between his dick. “Yes, master!” they both said in unison. They both got on one side of his penis, and started to kiss each other…French Kiss, and both of their tongues massaging his penis, and he came, again, and they both  ate it, and ate it all. Tank, exhausted, wanting to have fun said “You, White Pony, Bend over, and like Her Pussah While I fuck you!” “Your wish is my command!” Said Rarity. Applejack spread her legs, and wondered if any more apple cores were going to pop out. Tank, being a complete asshole (foreshadowing) Was moving the tip of his Penis on her pussy, and then trusted it in her anus, like a big fat Meany! Rarity welped, and said “GENTLY PLEASE!” (GOD FUCKING DAMNIT IVE BEEN WORKING SINCE 11 AND ITS 3 AND IM ONLY A QUARTER DONE!) Applejack, was going a pie, not any pie, Soarins favorite, Apple Pie! Rarity’s Anus, still stretched from the fucking Casey gave her, was enjoying that anal sex, and the taste of applejack’s herebe invested pussah. And they all couldn’t take it. They all came Applejack gave Rarity pie, and Rarity came out of her…anus? The fuck? And Tank came in her ass. And they All Passed out

Except John Arns, he was still being butt raped by Molestia

5 HOURS LATER!

Twilight finally regained consessionus, and was hungry…for a Hot Dog, and she was still stoned. Then, she saw a… green thing, with a hot dog on it…or so she thought. She went to the cabin, and grabed a Hot Dog Roll, and some Ketchup. She Went  back to the “Hot Dog” and put it on her bun, and the hot dog grew, and got hard. She put Ketchup all over the Hot Dog, and ate it all in one bite, and swallowed. Tank Shot awake, and his penis was missing, and lost alot of blood. His last word were “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!” and he died. Twilight, swallowed it, and saw Big Mac, and ran over and started to make out with him, and then het stomach gave in, she puked in Fluttershy’s mouth, and Fluttershy woke up, and swallowed it. Fluttershy felt strange, and felt like so could use magic, and wanted to teleport through a wall. She the started to run towards the wall, and used teleport, but she was just stoned, and ran into the wall, and blacked out. When she came to, she felt…strange. Twilight was till smoking crack, and was spazing the fuck out. Rarity and Applejack were looking at their master’s dead body, and worse of all, John Arns was still getting raped outside by Princess Molestia. Spike’s dead body, now rotting, because it was raped, cut in half, because somehow, that blow to the balls somehow triggered pressure to the testis, somehow blew his body in half. Twilight was so fucking high right now, she thought a book was a type of dildo, and was using them as that, and then it happened. She got a Paper Cut. The Pain pleasuring her, somehow. (Casey, Please don’t take points off for this) She then grabed the Book from Couch’s fanfic, Hurts so Good, and Read it. “Pain, People enjoy pain?” She looked around the Library, and saw Spike’s dead body, Tank’s dead Mutant body, and John Arns getting raped in the ass out side. Twilight was still extremely stoned, and said “Im going to go around Ponyville, and share this Pleasure of “Pain” with Everypony!” Rarity and Applejack were so bored, they looked for a different sex master, and his name was Nicholas Taylor. Nicholas Taylor was too awesome to accept this Gift, casted an spell that gives memory back, and they instantly gave all their memory back, and Rarity then remembered she was a dress maker, and made dresses for all of Ponyville, and remembered Casey Wharton. Applejack also remembered the day before…with Bloomberg and Fluttershy. Applejack fell on the ground and was yelling “OH GOD THE PAIN! THE PAIN!” Twilight heard that, and she went into the awesome costume I clop to everyday, with the black suit and eye patch and shit that she used in “It’s about Time!” Twilight grabbed the reverse-pile Driver, a Whip, and a Spatula, and ran outside, where the screaming from, and saw Applejack. She ran up to her Like Samurai Jack would, with a Spatula and her Stealth was Level 100, and SPANKED DAT FLANK. Applejack yelped, but was enjoying it. She was jealous the Bloomberg chose Fluttershy instead of her. Applejack closed her eyes, and pretended that Bloomberg was blowing in the breeze, and the stump was in her crotch. Twilight was spanking her with the spatula extremely hard, and her Flank was redder than a man’s face that has been use as a penis. ANYWHO. Twilight was going all out on the Defenseless pony. And Rarity watched in horror, as her friend was being raped in front of her. Little did she know, Applejack was enjoying this, and Rarity screamed “HELP! RAPE!” Fluttershy heard this call, and she knew why she felt strange. She had super powers. She ran to help, and all of a sudden. She grew 32 inch razor sharp penis, she called it Metal Dan. Fluttershy then said to Twilight. “You have Commited Crimes against Equestria and her People. What say you In Your Defence?” Twilight then said “I’ll suck your dick.” Twilight bent over to suck it. But Fluttershy’s Penis had a Blow and Suck Feature. Unfortunately for Twilight, Fluttershy was now the new mysterious Mare-do-well WITH AN ACTUAL GOOD FUCKING POWER THAT I WOULD USE!  Fluttershy penis was so sharp, it could cut through solid gold. Twilight bent over to suck the huge 32 inch cock, but Flutter-she put the SUCK feature on, and Twilight’s eye was in front of the dick, and was sucked in the Penis. In less the 2 seconds…she was gone. Her head was in Twilight’s head (DDAYYYYMN) Blood and Viscera all over the place. Fluttershy was proud of herself. She had helped an innocent pony from getting raped. She said “Yay~”  And Twilight’s dead body still on Metal Dan, known as Fluttershy’s penis. Applejack was furious, and said “COOOOOOUCH!” and left to go home. Fluttershy, was getting hungry, and there was a tasty treat, right before her head…literally. Fluttershy, slowly started to take Twilight’s head of her head, but it felt so good, she had to put Twilight’s head back down on her dick. The Felling excited her, and she wondered if Twilight could fell this from Pony heaven, but apparently she forgot that apparently Rapists go to Pony hell. Fluttershy slowly pushed Twilight up and down her Penis, and Rarity watched in horror as her Former-Friend was Skull fucked in the EYE by the nicest pony in all of Ponyville. Rarity was about to make a break for it, But Fluttershy did THE STARE, and made Rarity a forced witness. Fluttershy was Fucking the Twilight’s skull madly now, with and average 3 deadly, violent humps. Rarity was forced to watch, due to Mean Look made it so wild Ponyimon couldn’t escape. (POKEMON REFRENCE!!!) Twilight Skull, now throbbing everywhere, started to snap, but that Didn’t stop her, in fact, she even started to hump even FASTER. An average 5 blowful humps, that made a loud cracking noise, and it finally happened. Twilight’s head decapitated from the rest of her body. But that only turned on Fluttershy even more, and it was easier too. She the started to talk like Flutterguy and sang “Hush Now Quiet now, its time to Rape Your Missing Head”  She then  put on hoof on each side of her head, and was thrusting her Penis in and out of her head. She also used her wings an advantage. Flying up and down really fast, to speed up the trusting. Her thrusting was now at 17 Bashing humps per second. After 2 hours, of fucking the decapitated head, she came, even harder then anyone else, except Casey Wharton, no one fucks better than him. Rarity was forced to watch the whole thing, and was too shocked to even move. Of course, after 2 hours of fucking a skull, she was hungry, and wanted to get something good to eat. She looked at the All you Eat Hay Bacon strips sign. Then to Rarity. Then to the Skull she had just fucked. She decided that it would be best to eat the skull, because her penis looked like a pepper shaker. And she liked pepper. Rarity started to leave, but Twilight had brought her whip, and Flutter-she saw this as an opportunity. She Grabed it, and whipped her flank. Rarity slowly turned around, and said. “Fluttershy, the monster…on you…its turning you into a monster…” Fluttershy did not give flying fucks, and gave her THE STARE! Rarity was still forced to watch Fluttershy eat the very thing she fucked for the past to hours. Fluttershy then looked back at the skull she had fucked for the past 2 hours. It looked yummy, with all the cum all over it. Fluttershy must have still had crack in her system, because it looked like the sperm was moving. She shrugged, and use her penis to cut the top of what use to be Twilight’s face off. And pop goes the wizzle. The top of the skull came of effortlessly, and Brain Juice came out covered in jizz. She looked up to Rarity, and said “Taste it” Rarity looked at her like if she was a monster, and said “Fluttershy, please, I beg you…let me go…” A tear came out of her eye, and Fluttershy went to grab the Whip, and said “Either I Whip you to death or you eat the Brain covered in mai jizz.” Rarity, now begging, and couldn’t run away, because of mean look, and most likely get skull fucked too. Rarity Yelled “SOMEPONY ANYPONY! PLEASE HELP ME! IM BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL!” Nopony answered. Rarity started to cry. And got whipped by Fluttershy. Fluttershy said “You have 5 seconds to eat it, or I will whip you to the ground, and rape you.” Rarity had no choise, and was crying, and staggered to the skull, full of jizz. She looked back to Fluttershy, to see if she realy had to do it. The Only thing Fluttershy did, was nod and smile…there would no turning back now. “HOLD IT!!!” Nicholas Stapleton came out of fucking nowhere, with a beach chair, and a bag of popcorn. He set up the chair, while Rarity was pleading for his help, and he sat down and said “Go on” and started to eat his popcorn (you sick bastard!) Rarity cried even more, realizing Nopony would even help her if she needed help. Only one pony would be brave enough to help her friends. Rainbow Dash. But she was out of Ponyville trying out to become a Wonderbolt. Rarity was barely audible, because she was crying even louder. And said “Fluttershy, you’re a MONSTER” and yelled for Casey’s help. But he was flying to YOURANUS (-1) nah, he was busy saving the known universe (+1) Fluttershy whipped Rarity, right on her neck. And said “Your delaying, eat it, I need to know if its healthy!” Her jizz was moving again, and was moving. She said “OH SHIT EAT IT NOW!” Fluttershy and Rarity pretended they were playing Co-op Pac-man, and ate all the white-dots before they spooky ghost got them. That only left the Brain, and Brain-juice, with all the jizz gone, (8 hours 37%done… No sleep tonight =D) Fluttershy still wanted Rarity to eat the brains, to see if it was healthy, and said “go on, give it a lick!” Rarity knew there was no-way out of this…then she remembered last week.

LAST WEEK

Rarity just finished her last order of the day, and Twilight wanted to see Rarity in the Library to show her something. Sweetie Belle was Sleeping Over with the Other Cutie Mark Cursaders, at Fluttershy’s cottage. Rarity then took the keys, locked the door, and put on the “CLOSED” sign on the door. And headed on her way to Twilight’s Library. Ponyville is very Peaceful at night, and very dark. With Ponyville being the most peaceful town in Equestria (UNTIL NOW AHAHAH) She peacefully headed over towards the Library, being there atleast 100 times, to see books about fashion and shit like that. She knocked on the Door. No Response. Spike opened the door and said. “TWILIGHT? Oh…its you Rarity…WAIT WHAAAA-“ Rarity giggled “Spike, have you seen Twilight? She told me to come here when I was done…no matter how Late it was.” Spike let a tear get loose. And said “She went to Zecora’s to get her favorite tea…” “Oh, at this time of hour? When did she leave?” “…” “Spike…please answer the question.” “…This morning” “Excuse me?” Spike let a tear drop. “She left… this morning around 9:30” Rarity gasped… “That’s when Fluttershy came and took the Little Fillies!” Spike gasped and Rarity said “Spike, do you know what this means?” Spike retorted “That Fluttershy tied up Twilight and stole her tea, and had a tea party with them?” Rarity face hoofed. “No, That means something terrible has happened. And I’m going to go find her!” Spike gasped. “But Rarity… You cant protect your-self like Twilight can!” Rarity sighed at hearing this, and said “That’s why im not going in there alone!” Spike got excited “Does that mean I get to go on an adventure too?” Rarity LOL’D and ROLF’D and said “LOL no-no-no-no…I was Talking about Opal silly XD” Spike said “oh…im going to cry now.” Rarity then said “No you won’t, YOUR GANA ORGANISE B00KS XD” “But I did Earlier.” Rarity then used her magic to make a huge mess. “DO IT AGAING =D” “…” “=D” “…” “===DO=” “O_O” Rarity left, and went back to Carousel Boutique, and grabbed her Pussy, and ran towards the woods. And it happened… (HERE IT COMES =D) Wild Rattata has appeared! Go! Opal! What will Opal Do? Opal Used Scratch Attack! Critical Hit! Wild Rattata fainted! Opal Leveled Up to Level 34! What’s This! Opal Is Evolving! “Oh no you Don’t =D” Rarity held down the B button, and Opal stopped evolving, and got pissed, and clawed Rarity’s Flank, and was stuck. Rarity yelped in Pain, and said “Ok, act Natural!” they both tried to get free, but to no avail… they were stuck…they needed Fluttershy, and the Sun was beginning to Rise, Rarity ran to Fluttershy’s cottage, and they were already up, Twilight was there. Rarity decided it was best if she didn’t question why she was gone (BECAUSE SHE WAS STONED AHAHAHAH) Rarity overheard their conversation, as she approached then. “I assumed that I'd be just as good with kids as I am with animals. Boy, was I wrong. I really learned the hard way not to bite off more than I could chew.” Said Fluttershy “You and Rarity both. Good morning, Rarity” said Twilight as Rarity approached them. Rarity looked like she was in pain. But they didn’t notice it. “Did you finish all those capes?” Asked Fluttershy. Rarity sighed, and responded “Just Finished them. I have to admit, if you hadn't come along, I might not have. Thanks again.” Fluttershy giggled a little, and changed the subject completely, showing her that she does not give a fuck. “Won't you stay for some tea?” asked, hoping she wouldn’t, and take the shit-heads home. Rarity Retorted “I really must get back to the shop and clean up. Girls! Get your things. Time to go. Girls!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders apparently won’t listen to some white pony, and were giggling calling to each other. The pain in her Flank really hurt, and her voice raised, as a cause of this. Rarity yelled “Girls! Time to-- Girls! Your things! Girls! It's time to-- GIRLS!!” The raise in her voice did nothing, and only cause Opal to squeeze even harder, and somehow, they still didn’t notice Opal on her flank. Fluttershy whispered in Twilight’s ear, and they giggled, Then Fluttershy said “Allow me” She then cleared her throat, and said “Girls!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders all stopped doing the gay shit they do, running around or some shit like that, and all listened to her. “Yes, Fluttershy?” said Applebloom. “You called?” said Scootabuse. Fluttershy then said “Go and get your things. Rarity is here to see you home.” Sweetie Belle, always Rebellious with Rarity, said “Of course, Fluttershy, right away!” Rarity was like OH SHIT and stuff like that, and looked like she’s seen a man being anal fucked by a woman pussy, and she said. “Ah, huh, ah, how did you... how did you do that?” Fluttershy looked proud like a baws, and said. “I guess I'm just as good with kids as I am with animals!” Rarity didn’t buy this shit at all, and shut her mouth, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all said together “Thank you, Fluttershy! Bye! Thank you Stare Master!” The Stare Master? Who the fuck is that? Rarity decided not to say anything. But the Pain in her flank was growing, and started to bother her more than ever, and decided to tell them about Opal, and said “Ah, uh, speaking of which, I could use your help with Opal.”  She hoped Fluttershy would say yes, and then she said “Of course. How about later today?” Opal then meowed, and then they all saw Opal was on her flank, and then said “How about now?” she then welped in pain. And the only Response was Fluttershy and Twilight started cracking up. And then the Credits started rolling, and the episode ended. No one was watching them anymore. And Fluttershy said “Girls, go inside.” They didn’t question  her, and went inside. All three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders were inside, and they knew that Nopony was watching them, and Scootaloo said “Hey guys, why do you think Fluttershy made us go inside?” Applebloom was first to answer “Ah think its because she expects Rarity to pay her for taking us off her hoof’s.” Sweetie Belle was the only pony to respond. She said “No, that can’t be it, Fluttershy Volunteered to take us.” They all decided the only way they would figure out would to Eavesdrop. But as soon as that they did, Applejack came, and said she had a surprise to show them in the woods (The Clubhouse) and  all sighed, and followed Applejack into the woods. Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy were the only ponies left, when Twilight said “I should really go and check on Spike, since I haven’t been their all day.” They said their goodbyes, and Twilight left. That leaves Rarity and Fluttershy. With Opal still on her flank, Fluttershy decided since Nopony was there to see, and she was on her period, to be a complete bitch to Rarity. Instead of getting Opal off, she decided to get Opal to claw her even harder. Fluttershy said “So Rarity, how did this happen?” “Oh, it was an accident.” “Just like you.” Retorted Fluttershy. Rarity was shocked at this, and wouldn’t let this go, and said. “Darling, I’m not what you call ‘accident’ but merely a gift from the Angle.” Fluttershy continued to bully her and said “So, is that why you were fucking your cat?” Rarity welped in pain, because Opal heard this, and somehow, Fluttershy knew it would claw her harder. Rarity said “Please Fluttershy, get Opal off me, she starting to claw into my skin!” Fluttershy responded, ready with an insult. “Oh, so you want me to stare at your flank, like everypony does?” Fluttershy then turned to Rarity’s flank, and stared at Opal, who clawed her harder, Rarity started crying, Opal had clawed under her skin, and would need stich’s. Rarity decided something was wrong with Fluttershy, and asking for her help would only damage her even more. Fluttershy said “Oh you gana cry Baby, do you want to play some PATTY CAKE? (OH GOD NO!) Opal was progressively clawing her even harder. Opal was not enjoying this, and was panicking, jumping, only damaging Rarity’s flank even more. Rarity wanted to scream, but she didn’t want to give Fluttershy another reason to bully her. Fluttershy, noticing this by the look on her face said. “Oh, looks like somepony’s Pussy is clawing her.” Rarity was fucking pissed, and said. “F…F…Flutter..shy” “Yeah?” “3…wo..words.” “which are?” Rarity then sucked in her breath, and stood proudly, and let it loose. “FOS RO DAH! Opal flew off her flank, and Fluttershy went flying into her house, and got knocked out. Rarity took Opal and ran…her Flash back was Rudely interrupted by a whip to the flank, right on her scar.

Back to Fucked up as Fuck Place…Sorry kids!

Rarity finally fully recovered from the Memory, and remembered her whole life instantly. How she got her Cutie Mark, How she made dresses for The Gala, All her friends…and Most importantly…how Fluttershy bullied Rarity…Today, that would change. “No. I won’t eat Twilight’s brain’s.” Fluttershy was on step oh head of her, and said. “You already did when you stood there for 10 minutes, I whipped to see if you were alright.” Rarity had a taste in her mouth, and sure enough, she tasted brains. She puked all over the remaining Skull, which yet did Fluttershy eat, and died, because she puked too much! (Do you understand why this is a troll fic yet? DO YOU!!!!) Fluttershy was the only pony left, and said to her-self. “Yummy, she gave me her Dinner, Lunch, and Her breakfast!” She than began to eat the brains, and played with the puke on her tongue (Keep in mind the only Ponies left in the mane 6 are Applejack, Fluttershy, RD, and Flutter-she) Rarity’s Stomach acid made her mouth burn, but it felt good. Surprisingly good. And looked at her dead body, and Her penis was getting hard again. She decided it was for the best.  She postioned her-self, and sled her penis in her clint, and her penis was shredding her insides. Rarity wasn’t actually dead, and was screaming. Fluttershy atleast had the sense to turn her Penis to blow mode, and all her insides flew at her mouth. And she tasted all her organs and died. Her last words were “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH” and Fluttershy got up and said “Maybe I should use my powers for good…” Nicholas Stapleton was still there, watching the whole thing while masturbating, and came in her opened wounds. It was actually kind of cool. Nicholas Stapleton, was now applauding the most wonderful fucked up thing he had ever seen, besides him-self. Fluttershy decided that her powers made her a realy special pony, and decided she was going to be the Next Mysterious Mare do-well. Of course, she still had her costume that Rarity made for her, but that was when she didn’t have…Metal-Dan. She then decided since the Penis was razor sharp, she could cut an hole for dat huge cock. She went to her wardrobe, and her house was a mess, all her animal’s were starving, but Fluttershy didn’t simply have the time to fed them…she had ponies to save, and criminals to rape! There it was. Her costume. She slid into it like a charm, but her penis was still fully erect.she put on the Mask, then the Cape, then the top. And then, all that were left was the bottom. She slowly pulled up her pants, but her penis CUT the pants in half. After all, she wouldn’t have time to take her pants off, when criminals were attacking innocent ponies. She was all set. Having her all of her costume on…except her pants (DAAAAAAAAAAAAYMN) and Started to fly around Ponyville, looking for criminals…

2 seconds later…

“HELP! HELP! BURGALR! BURGALR!” Fluttershy knew was this call, and whipped out her HUUGGGE PENIS, and flew to the crime. It was Derpy, getting “robbed” by Doctor Hoofs. Fluttershy swooped down, in front of Derpy, and said “Did someone steal your sweetroll?” Derpy laughed, and retorted, “Why yes, this is one Very “Sweet” roll.” Little did Fluttershy know, that Derpy and Doctor Hoofs were fucking each other, and it was Role Playing night! Fluttershy asked, “What did he steal?” Derpy then retorted, “He’s stealing my virginity as we speak!” Flutter-she looked behind Derpy, and saw that Doctor Hoof was sticking a Muffin in and out of her Clint, and Fluttershy said “Stop there Criminal Scum!” Of course, The Doctor had played Skyrim multiple times, and thought Fluttershy was Role-playing too (See kids, this is why Roleplaying should be taken to a PRIVATE chat, not the main MLP FIM group, or this poor pony could be YOU! And remember! Only you Can Prevent Forest Fires!) Doctor Hoofs got up, took out his huge wang, and held as a Two-handed weapon, and said “I’d Rather Die than go to Prison!” The Doctor swung his cock at Fluttershy, and Derpy was watching the whole thing…all 2 inches of it. Fluttershy had no choice, and swung her penis at the Doctor’s penis, and SLICED his cock in half. The Doctor Paniced, and decided he would go back in time, to warn his past-self not to swing his Dinkie. But then, something terrible happened…a Parasprite came back, and The magic Twilight Despelled when she was beheaded, made a Parasprite came out of her PUSSAH. But her magic had done something awful….It made the Parasprite attracted to blood. The Parasprite smelt it from half-a-mile away, and charged right into the Building they were in, and saw Doctor Hoof’s 30 cent slimjim cut in HALF (For anyone who is unfortunate enough to never have had a Slimjim before, its meat,  as his penis.) The Parasprite got bloodlust, and charged for the Doctor’s opend wound. Fluttershy stood there, as it was a normal day, and her help was needed. “You know what, this is actually really boring, im gana leave, cya!” Fluttershy ripped off her Mare-Do-Well costume, and flew home. That left Derpy, tied up to a wall with a muffin in her clint, and her lover, about to be eaten alive, in front of her, and she could do nothing but watch. Doctor Hoof’s prepared to go back in time, but realized that he need a Phone-Booth. The Doctor stood up, and said, “I’ll right Back!” And started to sprint, but this only made him bleed more, and was stopped, by a piercing pain in his crotch. He dared (AHHH, FUCKING RESEARCHING PENIS AHAHAHAHHA) With the Doctor’s Foreskin completely gone, his Urethra tube was sticking out, what the remains of his Meatus, and the Parasprite got hungry, and wanted to have a bite. The Doctor Collapsed, and knew he couldn’t go any further. He embraced the rest of the live, and had a flash back of his whole live.

Flashback!

“Where am I?” The doctor said as he entered an different Universe, as a Blonde Mane Pony, with Bubbles on her flank, and “YOUCHHHHHHHHH!” Doctor Whooves (LOL I SPELT IT WRONG THE WHOLE TIME U MAD!?!) said, as his flashback was interrupted, by a Parasprite bite off the rest of his Meatus.

Present Time!

The Doctor yelped in pain, as the Parasprite dug into his bulb, and was unable to fight back. Derpy watched in horror, as her lover’s COCK was being eaten, and he was dying in front of, and could do nothing, but to scream for help. She screamed “Flutter-she, We Need your Metal Dan!” Little did Derpy know, that Fluttershy was raping all of her animals friends. The Doctor, now hallucinating, due to the blood-lost in his crouch. And was seeing Magical flying Muffins! But it wasn’t Muffins! No. BUT MORE ACCTUALLY MORE BLOODTHURSTY PARASPRITE!!!!! (Here’s a gun, shoot me) With The Doctor thinking they were Muffins, took two, and ate them. While his Scrotum, was cut open, and his Testis fell out. And 3 Parasprite dove in to pretend his Testicle were bubble gum, chewing it all up, and blowing bubbles. The Doctor was screaming in pain, as He was being eaten. Derpy screamed help again, and then, an answer to their prayers…wait…fuck me… Nicholas Stapleton came back from raping Rarity’s and Twilight’s dead bodies, and luckily for him, he still had popcorn, and the beach chair. And did what he did like last time. “HOLD IT!!!” he set up his beach chair, and did the same shit Couch does. And then he said “Proceed!” Then, the Two Parasprite he ate, were now eating him from the inside-out. ((FUCKING MORE RESEARCH!!)) In fact,  one of the Parasprites was eating his Esophagus. The Doctor wouldn’t be able to eat again. The Parasprite, slowly bite his Esophagus, causing Major Internal bleeding, and The doctor couldn’t scream… His screams of agony were barely recognizable past the gargles of blood he had in his mouth. While That was going on, the other Parasprite was feasting on his Stomach, and his lunch…Hay Bacon Strips.  3 Parasprites completely ate the insides of his BALLSACK, with nothing left in there, all the Parasprites focused on his penis. The only thing they could see left was the Urethra tube…and there was the scent of blood coming from the inside. All the Parasprites teamed up, and widened the hole, and they all traveled up to his urethra. Couch, at this point, was painting Mona Lisa with his huge load of cum. Derpy, couldn’t stand it anymore, she was using all the force in he body to break free, but to no avail, She was stuck, and needed help. She was going to be next. All the Parasprites were now inside The Doctor, who was still alive, and could fell the whole thing. The Parasprites all started eating less minor Organs. First his Kidneys, then his Adam’s apple, then his Bladder, Then his lungs. By now he was surely dead, Blood and Guts were all over the ground. But then Dr.Nicholas came up and said “Whoopsie Daisy, this Patient isn’t Dead!” And Doctor Whooves came back to life, but could still fell everything. Then, they all ganged up, and ate his heart. Magical Couch kept The Doctor alive, but by now, he had given up all hope to live. He Didn’t want all this misery, and wanted to pass on, and go back to Earth. With all of his major organs gone (except one type of system…) The Parasprites needed to find a way out…and they decided there was only one way…His Anus. The Parasprites all went down to his lower intestine. They all had to eat the unprocessed shit, and made the way through. BUT they had to battle a TAPE WORM AHAHAHHA. It was the bloodiest battle I  have ever seen, because it was in a body that was torn apart, and they didn’t fight, because the worm was Acctually Couch’s penis. (DAAAAAAAAAAAAYMN) and couch came…and somehow it was explosive, and the whole building was destroyed. Derpy, with no Lower Torso, was still tied to the ground. “P-p-p-leas..e.” She then saw something that made her passout…a remaining Parasprite. It started eating the insides of Derpy, and she never got to fuck the muffin. Her last words were “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!”

    Back in Fluttershy’s Cottage

“YOUR…GOING…TO LOVE ME!!!” said Fluttershy as she stuck her huge cock in her last animal. She was all alone. No more animals, just her. Nothing else to pleasure her needs, as everything else would. Only she could. She then remembered what Twilight’s naughty books. She gasped, and ran towards the Library, and Kicked the door down. Tank’s and Spike’s dead bodies were now, completely rotten, and she had an idea. The Best idea…EVER. She grabbed both of their bodies, and put them in a position, so it looked like they did when they were Fucking each other, it was awesome. Fluttershy ran to Twilight’s bed, and lifted up her mattress. And There was. “Masturbation for Dummies!” Fluttershy said to herself “YAY~” She opened the Book, and looked at the Table of contents.

Table of Contents

     Masturbate Without Your Roommate Knowing: 2

    Queefing 101 - Have a Blast With Queefs: 7

   10 Worst Cunnilingus Mistakes: 12

  10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes: 16

  10 Worst Handjob Mistakes: 24

Very Bad Masturbation Ideas: 32

How to Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Faking It: 38

Survival Guide to Drunken New Year's Eve Sex: 45

Can I Get Pregnant If...?: 53

Top Ten Signs Your Mom Is a Cougar: 58

How to Lick Your Own Clit: 69

How To Suck Your Own Dick: 74

“Oh, How to Suck your Own Dick? Let’s see.” She then flipped to page 74, and began to read. “How many times have you looked at a dog licking his private parts and thought, “Hmm, if only I could do that”? You’re not alone. Rest assured that most, if not all men have thought the exact same thing. Some have even attempted it. But despite the interest, few men discuss the act of autofellatio, or self-sucking. So here’s a guide to tell you everything you want to know about the art of solo sucking.” She read out loud, and read on. “You’ve Got to Flex It

In order to suck yourself off, you need to have one of two things (preferably both): a very flexible spine, or a very long dick. Having a longer penis obviously makes self-sucking easier by decreasing the distance from your cock head to your mouth, so the longer your dick, the less you have to bend. However, since penis length is something you either have or don’t, we’ll concentrate on what you can do to increase your spinal flexibility.” She looked at her huge penis, and it could already reach her lips, but didn’t want to kill her-self masturbating, THAT WOULD BAAAAAD. She skipped ahead, and read. “The easiest and probably most effective position for autofellatio is lying on your back. You’ll probably want to use a bed, sofa, or other cushioned surface for comfort, although practicing on a carpeted floor can sometimes give you better leverage. You should have a wall or a headboard nearby to brace your feet against. Lie down (naked, of course) with the top of your head at least a foot from the wall. Pull your legs up and roll back onto your shoulders, raising your legs over your head. Brace your feet on the wall and “walk” your way down until your crotch is close to your face. Lift your head up if necessary to get closer. If your back feels tight, don’t strain to reach your cock, even if it’s tantalizingly close. Just let your muscles stretch. You may want to use one hand to pull your cock closer. Suck what you can, if you can – otherwise, just wank and keep practicing.” Fluttershy went upstairs, and laid on her bed, but unfortunately for Fluttershy. Her bed wasn’t big enough for masturbating, and decided that trying this position, just wouldn’t work, after all she wasn’t Flexible at all. She walked back to the book, and read on, and wanted to see other positions. “The seated position is another good one for autofellatio beginners. Simply sit on the edge of a chair, COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH, or bed, and bend down towards your dick, curving your back. Be sure you suck in your gut to get it out of the way. Grab onto the edge of whatever you’re sitting on and use it to pull yourself further down. Or hook an arm under your knees and pull up. You may want to keep one hand on your dick to steady it, or to pull it upwards towards your mouth. In this position you need to use a bobbing motion of your head or upper body to go down on yourself. Again, don’t strain your back or neck or move too suddenly.” She read out loud, She looked around, for any sign of chairs, or things she could use. The only thing she could see, was the Table the Cutie Mark Crusaders fixed, and it looked like a dick at the top of the table. She looked around for anything else she could use. Nothing. She looked back to the table, and decided how she would sit on it. The only spot she could use, was the top. Fluttershy flew up to the top of the table, and placed her anus on the top of the table, and sled down slowly. She yelped in pain, and she got a Blister, but she was determined to get the penis in her mouth, and continued to slide down the table, until, she hit the nail. The Nail stopped her body from going down all the way down, and she was now in position, but there was one problem, her Penis wasn’t erect. The then remembered what the Book said. “You’ve Got to Flex It” she then flexed down, But her spine surely couldn’t go all the way. She was stopped 2 inches away from her Cock. She then remembered what Else the book said. “Grab onto the edge of whatever you’re sitting on and use it to pull yourself further down.” There was only one thing she could grab onto…The Nail. She sobbed a bit, and grabbed on to then nail, stabbing her hoof in the process, and pulled her face down. She was 2 Inches away from her Cock, when then, she Pushed. She could fell her insides burning due to her pushing too hard, and she stuck out her tongue to reach it. She was less than an inch away. It was hopeless. She needed to be hard. She was sitting there, Wood in her Anus, Whacking off, Thinking of Her flying pet. Rainbow Dash. How they had sex in flight school, fucking EEEVVARY DAAY. The Thought of this got Fluttershy Horney. And her dick got hard again, and she took this as an opportunity, and STRETCHED all the way down to her penis, and got it in her Mouth! SUCCESS! But it tasted funny. She hasn’t washed it all day. It tasted like, Puke, Brains, Blood, Piss, and Pussy. But that only Excited her More, This was a Thrill to her, and was going to do this for a Long, Long, Long time.

5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds. Later

She came. After 5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds, she finally came in her mouth, and ate it all up. It tasted funny, but that didn’t bother Fluttershy. She Got up, and flew away, her ass hurt, from wood being stuck up there for  5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds. When she left her Cottage, she was stopped by tons of reporters, and was asked tons of questions. Hell, there were more Reporters then “Green Isn’t Your Color!” episode. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! How does it fell to break the world Record for Masturbation?” Fluttershy was confused, and said. “Umm, what record?” Everypony sighed, and said “The Record you broke for Masturbating for 5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds!” Fluttershy realized she had broken the Record in all of Equestria for Masturbation. “YAY~” Fluttershy then squeaked, and then she asked. “What do I get?” Everypony replied. “Lots-a-MOOOOOONAAAAAY!” “YAY!” Fluttershy went inside, and celebrated the night away with EVERYPONY!

“We better tell the Boss!” said Snips. “Yeah, but she’ll be pissed!” said Snails. “She has to know, she’ll have to take out the TRASH BOWCHAIWOWOW!” (Holy fuck spell checker, that’s a real word?)

??????????????????????????????

“Boss, we need to talk.” Said Snails. “What is it? I’m busy preparing Th-“ Said the “Boss” “Somepony Broke you masturbation record!” said Snips. “Vat? I’m  Sorry, but  I thought you said ‘Somepony broke my Masturbation record?” Said the Boss. “Yeah, Fluttershy masturbated for 5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds!” Said Snips and Snails together. The boss removed the shades that magically appeared on it’s face. The Boss got up and said “I only want my workers in this room” Nicholas Stapleton said “OH COME THE FUCK ON MAN, I HAVENT WANKED IN 2 HOURS! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!” The Boss grabbed the Whip couch took from the incident that happened 5 weeks, 2 days, 18 hours, 26 minutes and 42 seconds ago. “OUT!” Said the boss. Nicholas got up and left, and said “I FUCKED YOUR MOM!” and left. There were only Snips, Snails, and the Boss left. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER OF THIS!!!!” Said the boss as she slammed her hoof’s on her table. “We tried to stop her, we really did boss!” said Snips, Snails was retarded, and said “No, we didn’t.” “YOU FUCKING RETARDS!” The boss was Furious now. “I NEED TO GET THAT RECORD BACK!” “What are you gana do boss?” said Snips. The boss lit a Cigarette, and said. “It’s Simple, we kill the Batman!” Snails then said “Boss, this isn’t Batman!” “WELL FUCK YOU BEEEEEEEEEEYATCH” Said the Boss, and CUNT PUNTED snails in his tiny Testicles. Snails was on the ground, crying, and Nicholas Stapleton said “OH FUCK THIS IS BETTER THEN JERSYSHORE!” He was disguised as a COOOOOOOOOUCH. The boss then said “GET THE FUCK OUTTTTT!” and whipped him, and he ran faster than a Black Guy with a stolen TV. “Let’s hope for no-more Disturbances. Snails, was still on the ground, crying, said. “So-o-o-o Bo-o-o-o-o-o-s, wh-a-a-a-a-t are we ga-n-n-n-a do?” The boss had to think, but when she was about to speak, she was interrupted by Snips, who said “How about we say were Fluttershy’s kids, and everypony will be turned off because that’s nasty.” “How’s that nasty?” asked the boss. “DUH BECAUSE SHE HAD SEX!” The boss took out a Bow and Arrow, and shoot Snips in the Knee (LOL ARROW TO THE KNEE JOKE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLLOLOL) “DUMBFUCK THAT’S NOT GROSS, IN FACT WE WOULD BE RAPED ON SIGHT IF WE SAID THAT!” The Boss said, and coughed. “I Believe I have a perfect solution to this situation.” “WHAT IS IT?” said Snips and Snails together. “Its simple, realy.” “WHAT IS IT?” said both of them. “I Will challenge Fluttershy to a Jack-Off DEATHMATCH!!!!” “YEAH YOU GO GET THAT BITCH, AND SHOW HER WHAT YOUR MADE OUT OF!!!”

Fluttershy’s Cottage

“JUG-JUG-JUG-JUG” said everypony as Steven Magnet was drinking Cow Seamen (LAWL PONIES DON’T DRINK BEER!) “OHOHOHOHHHHHHH” Said Steven Magnet, as he passed out from drinking too much Cow Semen. Fluttershy was giving People instructions on how to suck their Own Penis, while getting much of the fame. Snips and Snails busted through the Door, and said, “Fluttershy! Your Need Outside in the Dark Alley, Come Alone!” And the both ran back to The “Boss” Fluttershy was needed, and said, “Ok everypony, I’ll be right Back! PARTY HARD WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Back Alley That’s Totally not a trap or anything

“Welcome Fluttershy, take a seat, take a seat, right there.” Said the Boss. “Oh fuck, this isn’t Chris Hansen is it?”  Asked Fluttershy. “What? NOOOO. NOOOOOOOO. IT’S PINKIE PIE!” Said Pinkie Pie “Where’s Snips and Snails?” Asked Fluttershy “Oh, hah, funny story, um, I kinda, um, you know,” Said Pinkie Pie. “Im Afraid I don’t, tell me or you will meet METAL DAN!” (DUNDUNDAHHHH) Said Fluttershy “Okay, there Cupcakes now!” Said Pinkie Pie Fluttershy didn’t give a fuck. “Anyways,” Said Pinkie. “Im here because you stole my World Record in Masturbation.” Fluttershy thought she was going to murder her, and took her PENIS out, and put it on SUCK! “STAND BACK OR I WILL HURT YOU!” Pinkie Pie hurried up and said “WAIT! I wanted to challenge you to a JACK OFF DEATHMATCH!” Fluttershy was all like DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYMN and YAY~ at the same time. “WHAT ARE DA RULES?” asked Fluttershy. Pinkie Retorted, “THERE ARE 34 RULES (OH! OH NO!)IF IT EXSIST’S THERE’S PORN OF IT!” Fluttershy shrugged, and asked “What happens to the loser?” Pinkie laughed, and sang “All you have to do is take a cup of flour! Add it to the mix! Now just take a little something sweet, not sour! A bit of salt, just a pinch! Baking these treats is such a cinch! Add a teaspoon of vanilla! Add a little more, and you count to four, And you never get your fill of...Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty! Cupcakes! Don't be too hasty! Cupcakes! Cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES!” Fluttershy had no idea what that meant, but decided it would be probably be best not to know. “DEAL!” Fluttershy Exclaimed, and the asked, “When do we start?” Pinkie Giggled “RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW!” All of a sudden they appeared on a stage or someshit like that, and were surrounded by thousands, upon thousands of Ponies. And Rainbow Dash flew from the Sky, and said “The Wonderbolts fucking suck, I will commentate the WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE thing! Luna flew from the sky (HOLY FUCK ITS LUNA) and gave them M00N Lube, to wank off with. “No Cock sucking here..." said Fluttershy to her-self. Pinkie and Fluttershy both BROHOOF’D (OH SNAP!)   and they Both got in Postion, and they both heard the MOTHER-LORD fart. And they BEGAN!!

DAY 1

Pinkie grew a huge penis, about the same size as Fluttershy. Fluttershy Gasped, Pinkie had her very own Metal Dan!!!!! Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, and said, in a pre-pubescant, cracked lesbian voice. “3…2…1…MASTERBATE!!!” Pinkie, wasting no time, grabbed the lube, an- “HOLD IT!!!” said Nicholas Stapleton, as he still had that same fucking beach chair, and popcorn from 5 weeks, 2 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes and 42 seconds. Set up the chair, and  sat down, and started eating some popcorn, and said “Go On <3” *cough* like I was saying. Pinkie, wasting no time, grabbed the lube, and rubbed it all over her Penis, and Started stroking. “5 POINTS FOR PINKIE!!” said Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy was too shocked move, she had to do something quick, or she would lose. She got an Brilliant Idea, and grabbed the M00N lube, RUBED IT ON BOTH OF HER FUCKING HOOF’S AND STARTED TO WANK LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMMOROW!!! “15 POINTS FOR FLUTTERSHY FOR DOING THE DOUBLE SHOVEL!!” Fluttershy Squeaked, and said “YAY~” “NOW, LETS TALK TO OUR MASTERBATER’S ABOUT THEIR WORST EXPERINCE!!!” Said Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash went up to Pinkie Pie, and said. “Pinkie Pie, what was your worst Masturbation Experience?” Pinkie had to think for 5 minutes, due to her having horrible experinces. And she finally said. “One morning after I woke up I was feeling right randy, and I guess a little loony as well! So what did I do? Well, I opened up a chest in my room and got a ring of duct tape, taped it around my little friend, and started to wank. It did not work too good, and now that I think about it, I don't see how it could have, but I was very tired at the time so you can't blame me. I was feeling right loony. But anyway, the duct tape was very tight and started to cut off blood flow. I couldn't get it off so I ran around the house trying to find something to cut with. I found a knife and then started to cut the tape and then "OUCH!" I stabbed myself right in my willy! I had to run to the docs for help and from there to the hospital! I didn't want my penis to come out looking like hamburger meat so I has to swallow my pride and let them remove the tape at the hospital. But my willy came out fine in the end!” Pinkie Said, felling Proud! “THAT’S FUCKING FANTASTIC! NOW FLUTTERSHY, WHAT WAS YOUR WORST MASTERBATION EXPERINCE?” Fluttershy never had Masturbated before, and didn’t want to say, so she came up with a lie, really quickly, and said. “One day I was chewing some Big League Chew gum. It felt so soft and gooey in my mouth that I decided to rub it on my dick. It was the worst decision I ever made! As I was rubbing it on my dick, the gum got caught on my pubes. I got in the shower and spent like an hour trying to get the stuff off. Then I finally decided just to cut my pubes off with some scissors. I had no pubes left.” Everypony looked at Fluttershy’s crouch, and nothing was there…NOTHING!!! “GREAT SCOOT THAT’S AMAZING!!! 10 POINTS FOR FLUTTERSHY!!! “YAY~ Fluttershy said, as she squeaked.

       DAY 27

Fluttershy was still wanking, and Pinkie Pie Was doing the Batter Up stance, while telling fucked up stories, that involve Penis and Pussy and Blood, while Fluttershy was doing the inside out Spider Monkey. Nicholas Stapleton, out of Pop-corn, cut a hole in the bottom of the Pop-corn box, and stuck his Dick in it, and offered a bunch of little fillies pop-corn. Unfortunately for him, Fillies aren’t Little girls, their Female Ponies. Fluttershy’s Penis was on fire, and she wanted to stop, but she couldn’t’, HER HONOR WAS AT STAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flutter-she Sped up, and everypony stopped listening to Pinkie Pie’s Shitty story, and focused on Fluttershy.  She Put on BLOW AND SUCK MODE, show a ball was levitating UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN! She sounded Like Aaron when he tries to fight. (he sounds like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usa8wlroFUU) “FLUTTERSHY’S WANKUNG IT UP, DAMN, IS THAT THE COUGAR STYLE?” Said Rainbow Dash, and indeed, it most diffentatly was. “10 POINTS FOR FLUTTERSHY!” Fluttershy was now a HEAD by SIXTY-NINE points, man she was totally working it, in fact, her Penis looked like Darth Vader’s Lightsaber! (DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN!) Pinkie shrugged, and giggled, she then said to herself “hah, she’s ahead, but she’s going too fast.” Pinkie then wanked slower with one hand, with no lube.

DAY 69

Fluttershy was proud, she was a HEAD by at least 100 points, and was impressing all the ponies, but doing the Kangaroo Hop Scotch Maneuver. As of Pinkie, she was keeping it cool, and was doing Fly Swatter, an very tricky move, that makes you penis look like a Fly eater (A plant) and making a Fly land on your cock, and BAM! Free dinner! “Lets ask our contestants about the weirdest boners they have ever gotten!” Said Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash went to Pinkie Pie, and Put the Mic to her mouth, and she said. “This one Time, I was breaking the 4th wall, doing the same shit and then all of the sudden I was chasing this donkey thing, and saw a Statue of Princess Celestia, and I got a Bonner because I was actually that statue =D” said Pinkie. “THAT’S FUCKING FANTASTIC! NOW FLUTTERSHY, WHAT WAS THE WEIRDEST BONER YOU HAVE EVER GOTTEN?” Fluttershy, being honest this time, said “Umm, this one time, I murdered my Friend, and fucked her face, and I got a boner, and I was like ‘there was no way.’” Everypony looked at her, and then Rainbow Dash said. “DAMN THAT GAVE ME A BONER THINKING ABOUT THAT!” Everypony applauded, and were like “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!” And then, all of a sudden, Nicholas Stapleton’s trick was found out by a little filly, who’s name was John McLaughlin. ANYWHO! Fluttershy’s Moral was growing,  she really knew she was going to win. Pinkie Pie sighed, and said to herself. “Your making this easy Fluttershy!” And Everypony was cheering Fluttershy on.

DAY 120

Fluttershy was doing the Pogo Stick Up down Style of Masturbation, which involves standing on your nut-sack, and jumping up and down, as such as a Pogo-Stick. As Pinkie was do the WOB NIAR! This involves looking at a picture of your-self, and wanking to it, and pretending you have no fucking idea who it is.  While Fluttershy was doing this masturbation style move, the thoughts of her friends, and her animals she murdered, all came back to her head. She began to wank even harder now, and Pinkie Pie was watching in horror, as her Rival in Masturbation, was spazing the fuck out. “COULD THIS BE IT?” Said Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy’s Penis was on fire. After 4 long Month’s, Fluttershy Came, And her Suck Feature just couldn’t hold it all in, leaving a huuuge pile of Jizz on the ground, and she couldn’t take it. The Guilt was killing Her, and She Died, due to Cumming out all of her Jizz, which was blood now. “LEEEEEEEEEEEEEET’S PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Pinkie Pie said, to celebrate her victory over her Rival, after 4 Long months. After Everypony left, and Fluttershy’s body was buried, Everypony celebrated.

And Fluttershy’s jizz was moving.

The Next Morning

Pinkie was awoken, by the screams outside. “THE HORROR! THE HORROR!” Bon-Bon said, right before she was turned into a White Statue, made of Jizz. Pinkie woke up, only to see everypony outside being turned into Whit Statue’s made completely made of Jizz. “What is that Thing?” Yelled Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash Yelled back, “I THINK IT’S THE MARSHMELLOW MONSTER FROM GHOSTBUSTERS!” Before the was eat down, and killed. “…Fluttershy’s jizz…” Pinkie Said to herself. Pinkie Pie has had that penis ever since she got stoned, and bit off Gummy’s cock, and Ripped out his Teeth, with her Penis. She Knew this was her Call, She had to save Ponyville, Once again. She had to be…a Super Hero. She had a ton of Pegasus Horns, and Unicorn Wings, (TROLOOLOLOL) because she had murdered a bunch of ponies in her basement. She then ran into her Cupcakes Lair.

LAIR OF D00M!

Pinkie grabed her costume from, Cupcakes, Put it on, and could Fly, and use Magic…But she had to grab something else first. She then grabbed the Reverse Pile Driver 6900, and was Ready to Kill that fucking GhostBuster Monster jizz fucker-not, or something of that nature. She then went Ran out into the open, and said “HERE ME I AM WONDERWA-“  She was then Crushed by The Monster’s fist, and killed. (This is a troll fic you know!)

Sweet Apple Acres (I would never forget Applejack =D)

Applejack, Big Mac, and Granny Smith Barricaded The House in, Like it was an zombie invasion… But there wasn’t a Zombie attack, why no, it was much worse… IT WAS COUCH! “I KNOW YOUR IN THERE APPLEJACK! COME ON! I JUST WANT YOU TO TOUCH MAI NIPPLES!” When all of a sudden   An swarm of Bloodthirsty Parasprites, came through, and started eating everything on sight…Wood, Houses, Couch, and even Flesh. They needed to make a break for it. Or else they would die, slow, and painfully, like Derpy and Doctor Whooves. They decided to Use Granny Smith as bait, and make a break for it. “Hey Granny, look!  A PENNY!” Said Applejack. Granny Smith was Jewish, and she loved money, indicating why her family didn’t spend any money for seed’s, and made their own village. And Granny ran Towards the Parasprites, looking for a Penny, and was eaten alive, painfully, and slowly, as Applejack, and Big Mac made a break for it. But Couch could smell them through the Blood and guts of Granny Smith. And he sprinted towards them, screaming. “TOUCH MY NIPPLES!!” Applejack said, “Who the Hay is this kid?” Big Mac’s only response  was “Eenope”   They were running as fast as they could, of course Granny Smith slowed them down, they were  catching up. Fast. They needed to make another sacrifice. And Now.  All of a sudden, Bloomberg came out of no-where, and said “I’ll slow them down. GO!” Applejack was the only one rebellious, and said “BUT BLOOMBERG, NO I LOVE YOU!” Bloomberg response was “I Love you too. GO! NOW! I’LL HOLD THEM OFF!” “I WON’T LEAVE YOU! NEVER!” Big Mac went all “Eenope” And carried her Little sister, the rest of the way. Applejack looked behind her, only to see the love of her live being torn apart. “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!!!!” Couch said as he came back from no-where, riding a Motor-cycle. “HOP IN!” Big Mac, or Applejack didn’t ask what that fuck he was doing, and didn’t question it, and just jumped in. They all  started driving to Ponyville.

Canterlot:  Celestia’s room (For some reason I cant tab move that =P)

“Please let me go.” Said John Arns, who was being held against his Will the whole entire time. “Later…” Said Princess Celestia. “Your Highness, Your Presence is Requested in the Meeting room!” Said Royal Guards, Busting through her door, without knocking. “What is the meaning of this?” Said Celestia. “It’s Ponyville, its under attack!” said the guards. Celestia started laughing, and said. “Oh Well, fuck them, do whatever the fuck you want.” And then Celestia went on, and continued to Molest John Arns.

Ponyville

“Hey Applejack!” Said Couch, as they arrived in Ponyville, and dismounted the Motorcycle. “What the Hay do you want?” responded Applejack. “I think you should touch my Nipples, because I just saved your flank back there” Applejack got furious, but held back her anger, and said. “Big Mac, do you think I should touch his Nipple’s?” Big Mac’s only response was “Eeyup!” Applejack, shocked decided to scream, and say “YOU MADE ME LEAVE BLOOMBERG!!” Couch’s only response was, “I didn’t, you hopped on, Big Mac carried you away.” Applejack sunk this in as a fact, and said, “Well aye suppose I do owe you something.” She reached her Hoof’s out to go touch Couch’s Nipple’s. Time Slowed down for couch, it was like he was using Dead Eye in Red Dead Redemption. And the song “Party Rock” was playing in his head, and all of a sudden, a Giant white fist came from the sky, Killing Applejack, and Big Mac, at the Same time. Couch furious, yelled. “YOU FUCKING ASSSSS!” And ran into the Library, and LOL’D at the two dead bodies were fucking each other, and Couch ran up stairs, and looked for Suplies. He found nothing, but notice something in the wall…it was a bag…full of…something? “Wait a Fucking Second!” Couch said. “That’s a Fucking bag of crack!” Couch actually loved cracked, and spazs the fuck out when he has it. With nothing to lose, and everything to gain, he started to smoke the bag of crack. “WRAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!” Couch Yelled, before he Burst into Yellow, and was flying , and had superpowers, and his power levels were OVER 9000!!!! The Library’s Roof, exploded,  and Couch was the Only survivor, and flew straight into the giant CUM MONSTER. Couch did a fucking HYUKEN, and The Giant Monster was hit directly, and was hurt, he got back up, swinging his fists in the air, and to no avail, he simply  couldn’t aim, Couch was too Powerful,  His HYUKEN’s And “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH’s” Were Too fucking Powerful, and then The Monster Exploded. Couch and claimed Victory, and celebrated, but his job wasn’t finished, What could stop Fluttershy’s Cum from mutating back into a monster? He Decided to be sure his job was finished, he had to eat it. Eat everything. From cum to the Other ponies. He grabbed a a fork, and Spoon, and headed towards Applejack’s  White Cum statue. “WAAAAAAAAIT!” Applejack screamed, as the cum desnigrated into thin Air. The Cum was disappearing into Thin air, and all the Ponies were coming back to live! Big Mac, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and even Pinkie Pie, all back. Everypony was happy, and cheering that Couch was amazing, and he had saved Ponyville, YET AGAIN! Applejack walked up to Couch and said, “Well, I think I owe you something!” Couch lifted up his shirt, and showed her His Nipples, and Applejack went to go reach out her Hoof’s out to touch Couch’s Nipple’s. Time slowed down for Couch once again, and he had a boner. His Joy was overwhelming him so much that he camein his pants, but Applejack Did’nt mind, But there Happiness was Cut short when An Nuke sent from Canterlot , crashed into Ponyville, and Exploded, and Killed everypony, and Couch  for REALS YO!

17 hours in 2 days 11 hours today 11-8pm

ANYWHO this is how I think The Last Episode of MLP FIM will end

OH YEAH! I win by default because im just that cool

CHEERIO!