The Kingdom War

Chapters

Outlook
Deluge
Cupcakes

Outlook

Pinkie Pie scowled and slammed her hoof hard on the windowsill. Blast, those gryphons were at it again. The Ponyville bombardment had been going on for ages now- at least a week and a half that she could remember, maybe longer. She rubbed her eyes. She had hardly slept at all during the siege, and as a consequence, she was exhausted beyond belief. Beyond imagination. She had never been this bone tired in her life, being ADHHD and all.

She looked out the window and sighed, one of her first outward signs of emotion in days. Ponyville. Her town. The only place she had ever in her life been truly able to call home. Ponyville had been a refuge for her, a place where she could escape. Where she could start over…

And then the gryphons came. The infiltration had begun quietly, with only a few undercover gryphon scouts sent to gather information on every aspect of Equestria. A gryphon here, a gryphon there, here a gryphon, there a gryphon, everywhere a slowly brewing nightmare of chaos ready to boil over at a moment’s notice. But nopony had noticed. How could they? War with the Kingdom was possibly the single most unexpected disaster in the history of clueless ponies.

But we should have expected it, thought Pinkie angrily. They left clues a one-eyed minotaur could have followed, had it been alert enough to care. The awakening of the monsters was one indication that something was terribly awry. Some called it the Great Stirring. Whatever you called it, it all meant the same thing. The very depths of Tartarus were being disturbed by a presence yet more malicious than its monstrous inhabitants. This had caused some of the nastiest nasty nastypants nasties to surface in various places around Equestria. How else could one account for the manticores, hydras, and other monsters which had plagued the ponies of late? When Cerberus himself appeared, at least that should have sparked some concern. But still nopony noticed or cared. Pinkie Pie cursed her own apathy. She had been far more concerned with keeping up her Ponyville image of a happy-go-lucky party pony to bother herself with minor details like a horde of hostile gryphons invading her homeland. And the whole nation had paid for it. With blood and tears they were paying for her senseless selfishness.

This war with the Kingdom had resulted in casualties that went far beyond the battlefield. Gryphons everywhere were now outcasts, regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with the takeover. Nopony associated with a gryphon- it was simply too risky. Maybe they were innocent, and maybe they were plotting your death. Who knew? And again, who cared? They were gryphons, and that was enough.

Gilda.
Pinkie didn’t quite know what to make of Dashie’s old gal pal. The EBI had run back story on her, and it seemed she was telling the truth- she really was just an old friend from flight school. She was in custody for petty theft and harassment, but no one had any proof that she was a serious threat. They would continue to keep an eye on her, and every measure would be taken to make sure she didn’t break the wartime communications or travel restrictions. For now, it was all they could do, at least legally.

Pinkie Pie shook herself quickly, breaking out of her reverie. Too much of this distracted her from what actually mattered- the current invasion.

A missile flew overhead, shearing off the top tower of Sugar Cube Corner and detonating somewhere in the back of town. That was too close. Pinkie considered relocating her headquarters from the most targeted part of town to somewhere a bit safer, but then she figured, What the hay? It’s not like I’ll actually get hit and die violently… this practically is rated E.

Hmm. Nongraphic explosions were still a threat.
Pinkie called her real estate agent.

Twilight Sparkle sat in the basement of her treehouse, sipping tea and trying to decide when she had time in all this mayhem to organize her calendar. Or maybe write another checklist… She rubbed her hooves together in gleeful anticipation. Her magical barriers were up; she could relax for a while. That was the upside of fighting gryphons: They were totally unable to use magic. Actually, given the fact that the ponies had Twilight and the princesses on their side, one would think the battle would have been over in a heartbeat. But a few of the more brainy gryphon element had devised safeguards against most forms of offensive magic, and it was the earth ponies and pegasi who had been doing most of the trench work thus far.

Of course, it wasn’t fair that the main contingent of unicorns had given up when they realized they couldn’t utilize the main part of their magic to ward off the invading army. When it came right down to it, it was just plain cowardice. But the bookworm tried to put herself in their horseshoes. If Princess Celestia herself had not personally handed Twilight a commander’s commission and asked her to supervise the war effort in Ponyville, she might not be so patriotic.

Ah, patriotic. The perfect word to act as a segue onto another minor plot point. Most Equestrians were very loyal to their nation- they were ready to die for it right up until the time they were asked to join the military. Truth to tell, about 30 percent of the population didn’t give a haystack for the war, or officers, or the fact that a horde of bloodthirsty gryphons were about to overrun their homeland. Most of them had no clue as to the actual seriousness of the crisis- dumbed down press ensured that. And as the Princess didn’t seem to be forthcoming with a draft quite yet, there was no way to make anypony help. Especially the unicorns, who were mostly milksops anyway. Mostly. I will change the unicorn’ minds, Twilight determined grimly. I will do my duty as a citizen and soldier of Equestria. I will alter the fate of the world. For myself. For my little…uh…friends and stuff.

As expected, heroic music began to play as Twilight strode dramatically to the window and gazed out at the carnage. She could not let this awful slaughter continue. She would not. Time to alter the fate of the world. A low rumble filled the air and she knew that there was something she must do first, for the good of Equestria.

Breakfast.

Deluge

Ok, here it is: Chapter Two. I’m trying to get these out as quickly as possible, but with school it’s been hard to find a lot of time to write. Again, please post your comments and let me know what I should work on or what you’d like to see. It may give me some ideas. I’ve also been thinking about longer chapters. If you’d like the chapters to be, say, another 500-100 words longer, just comment and let me know and I will post longer updates. Bear in mind that longer chapters will take me longer to write with my current schedule.
--X.F.

Deluge

The heavens were torn asunder, and the rain was pelting down in torrents. Rainbow Dash huddled beneath her wings as she tried to fight the frigid, biting water cascading down from above. It was cold.
So, so cold…
She bit her lip in agony as yet another sheet of icy water crashed down upon her from the angry sky. She sneezed for the hundredth time, sending her into a fit of coughing which racked every fiber of her being.
I… am truly dying….
She was shivering uncontrollably now, unable to think of anything but this accursed downpour draining the blood from her limbs and freezing her very marrow.

“Hey, RD, what’s up?” a pegasus said, shifting aside the rain cloud and flying over to her.

“Oh… hehe. Didn’t think of that.”
Rainbow Dash fumbled her mental football, and then regained her composure speedily. “And that’s General Dash to you, Private Cloudburst,” she added, half severely and half as an afterthought. “Can’t you see I’m busy doing important (cough)? So why are you bothering me? Go play with sharp objects or something.”

“Yes sir… uh, General.” The private flew off, leaving Rainbow to her thoughts.

Had it been over a week since the gryphons started wreaking havoc in Ponyville? She was loath to believe it… Loath to believe… yeah, it has been a week. I’m starting to sound like Twilight. A sure sign of insanity. The war had changed everypony in Ponyville. Hay, it had even changed Ponyville.

The town had never been the same since Spike coughed up a copy of the declaration of hostility from the Kingdom. The conflict was now foremost on everypony’s mind. There were no more parties. No more races against Applejack or against other Pegasi. The town seemed dead. Everypony not on active duty stayed indoors as much as they could. Most of the shops were closed, the windows of houses and businesses alike boarded up in case of shelling.

The blue pegasus sighed. Commanders sigh a lot- it makes them more realistic and central characters to the plot. So Rainbow sighed again.

It didn’t help.

This whole tactics and strategy game was really not her idea of Getting Anything Done. Twilight could have all the knowledge and genius… Just give me a good clean air battle- now THAT’S more my speed. More her speed… she decided to discard the phrase in lieu of keeping it for future puns.

Rainbow had begged for permission to bomb out the opposing troops, but Twilight, who was her superior officer, had banned the pegasi from attempting air raids until Intelligence had found out the strength and extent of the gryphon’s Archie. Which could take forever… Deep down inside, Rainbow Dash had a growing suspicion that all the Agency ever did was drink coffee and eat muffins. Under their collective breath, nearly every fighting pony in Equestria, and certainly everypony in Ponyville, referred to Intel Ops as “Unintelligence”. It seemed to be totally lacking any sense of urgency, so much so that there were times when Rainbow Dash wondered if the EIA even knew there was a war on.

Cummon, shake the mood, shake the mood, she thought, trying to focus. The middle of a war is not the time or place for foaly fits. The winged General had long since learned that complaining is useless when there is nothing you can do to fix the problem. You just have to make the best of a bad job.

Even so, it’s hard to concentrate when you’re a from-the-cradle-adrenaline-fueled-athletic-generously-supplied-in-the-strength-and-speed-department-not-so-generously-supplied-in-the-gray-matter-department pegasus who hadn’t given a haystack for serious thought until just recently. Not to mention a tired one at that. She knew now that organizing ponies is very hard work. Singlehoofedly pulling together every pegasus available and trying keeping some semblance of harmony among them twenty-four-seven was just inviting Hades to your front door. Fly here, don’t fly there, fix it, build it, move it, MOVE IT, that’s restricted, No, there will not be a muffin break, get back to your route…. Taking into consideration that pegasi tend to move at roughly three or four times normal speed, it was a wonder she hadn’t dropped already. This is insane…I need a break.
She paused, stunned.
“I need a break.”
“I. Need. A. Break.”
“IIIIII NEEEEEEED A BREEEEEAAAAAK!!!”

Three hundred pegasi dropped whatever they were holding and turned to stare at her.

“Oh hoof. That was out loud, wasn’t it.”
***
Rainbow Dash trotted up the road to Pinkie Pie’s new quarters. The walk had done her good- she felt better already. She followed the instructions she had been given by Pinkie, and soon she was rounding the corner to…

Nowhere.

There was a path going up to where the house should have been, but… no house. She stood there gaping for a while, and then decided to walk around the property a little, try to figure out what was going on. Most likely, she’d been given the wrong address, but best check it out anyway.
She ran along the walk up to the yard and bashed her face on thin air.
OUCH.
Oh Celestia-
Oh that hurts.
“KRRKVAMNTXZQQVYblastitMMMMMPFFF!!!”

Suddenly, a wall appeared out of nowhere, materializing right before her startled eyes. More walls and decorations joined the first until she was standing by the front door of a very secure, very high-tech, very pink mini mansion. Rainbow heard a smothered giggle from inside, and a voice called out:

“Oops, sorry about that! Be right there!”

In a few seconds the door swung open and Pinkie Pie stepped out.
“New camouflage. Twilight did that for me. Extra precautions. I just love the way my house looks when it’s invisible, don’t you?” she said, her voice at its usual rapid-fire setting.

“Yeah. Love it.” Rainbow Dash muttered, rubbing her nose meaningfully. A random thought occurred to her. “If the house is invisible most of the time, how do you see where you’re going? Or do you just use your Pinkie sense to echolocate your way around?” She felt proud of herself. She had finally found a way to incorporate the word “echolocate” into a conversation.

“Oh, it’s not invisible from the inside,” Pinkie Pie reassured her. “ It only looks invisible from the outside. Come on in. You look about ready to drop- and you’re not even MADE of gum.” Confronted by her friend’s blank stare, she decided the pun was not as good as she originally thought. She wisely shelved the topic, choosing instead to simply turn around and walk inside, motioning Rainbow to follow her. “Auntie Pinkie knows just the thing to cheer you up,” she said happily, commencing her odd hopskip as she went.
“I’m two years older than her.” the pegasus muttered under her breath, shaking her head in total confusion, a common side effect Pinkie seemed to have on ponies. She followed her friend inside.

Cupcakes

Twilight sat at a café in mid Ponyville, one of the few left open after the shelling had commenced. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that it was situated in a historic bomb shelter left over from the Discord incident… something about highly combustible pillows? At any rate, it was the only place that served both alfalfa/peanut butter sandwiches and high grade gems, both rare items on any menu. The gems were, of course, for Spike- the dragon had proved invaluable in the war effort thus far, partly because of his capacity as a portable fax machine, and also because of his ability to light multiple mortar fuses in a second. The peanut butter/alfalfa combo was an enigma in itself. The invention of PB&A had actually come about by accident, a lesser known but nevertheless significant result of Applejack’s insomniac phase. It had come just before the baked bads incident, and was surprisingly tasty in a sort of exotic way, not to mention priceless as brain food.

But it was not for gems or alfalfa that Twilight Sparkle had come to the café, even if that was the sole reason Spike had. No, she had something far more important to think about than food at the moment. After all, the burden of keeping Ponyville safe and secure rested squarely on her shoulders…
Ha. Haven’t heard that before.
And because she was in charge of all resistance operations throughout the town, she felt personally responsible for every pony’s welfare. Guarding every single pony under her jurisdiction involved a whole lot of late nights, tactical brainstorming sessions, and overall headache about getting every last factor of security in place perfectly so things didn’t rapidly spin out of control. Even one minuscule detail gone wrong could mean a huge gryphon clawhold on Ponyville, and from there, Equestria. They couldn’t let that happen. That was why she had arranged this meeting of commanders: To get a serious grip on the situation at hoof and address any technical flaws in the overall defense system that either Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash had found since their last martial parley. Then they would discuss how to best deal with each problem, argue a bit, put the little pony and gryphon dolls on the map, and have done with it. At least, if the others ever showed up…

Twilight glanced for the umpteenth time at the ancient clock on the wall. They should have been here an hour ago, she realized, somewhat peeved and slightly worried. Not like Pinkie Pie to be late for any kind of gathering… Rainbow Dash, yes. Time apparently doesn’t mean as much to you when you’re arguably the fastest pony in Equestria.

The unicorn General stood up.
“OK, I’ve waited long enough. I’m going out to see if I can find them. Spike, you stay here in case they show up while I’m gone. I’ll swing by Pinkie’s new place first- it’s less of a walk there than Cloudsdale. Also, Pinkie Pie has a way of knowing where ponies are and how to find them. Hold the fort until I get back, got it?”

“Sure thing, Twilight! I don’t mind staying here.” Spike said, his mouth full of marinated rubies and hay fries.

“Good. I’ll be back in an hour or so, maybe sooner depending on whether or not I find them.” Twilight slung on her green-blue-brown patterned flack vest, a necessary precaution because of the amounts of shrapnel whizzing about of late. She walked up the stairs, out of the door, and was on the road to Pinkie’s house.

***

Twilight trod up the path Rainbow had taken earlier that day. Unlike its earlier appearance, or rather nonappearance, the house was now in plain sight. Walking closer, she could hear sounds from within. Sounds of slicing and pounding. Of mixing and blending.
Wonder what she’s up to in there…
She knocked on the door.
“Hello, anypony home? What’s going on in there?”
A moment went by, in which the noise from inside suddenly halted. Then Pinkie's voice rang out from what was probably the kitchen.
“Oh, hey Sparky!” Sparky? What the hoof-- that’s a new one… “Come on in. I’m baking cupcakes with Rainbow Dash.”
…

“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!”

Twilight bolted through the door, the cry ripping from her throat as she tore through the house towards the kitchen. She reached the miniature bakery Pinkie had already installed, bucking open the double doors in a heartbeat and hurtling her body into the room.

She saw Pinkie Pie standing over an oversized mixing bowl, chopping something up and throwing it in. A bowl of blue frosting stood on the counter. The window shade was drawn. The pink pony was grinning as if at some private joke, and Rainbow Dash… was… Rainbow Dash was…

Rainbow Dash was standing near the oven wearing an apron and laughing. “Oh, hey Twilight! What’s up?” she said, wiping frosting off of her hooves and face.

“Uh, I…” The unicorn trailed off, somewhat bemused.

“Oh- hang on a second! There.” Rainbow interrupted her, neatly pulling a batch of what else but cupcakes out of the oven and setting them out to cool. “So, what were you saying?”

Twilight rubbed her head, now totally confused. She turned to Pinkie Pie, who was still mixing batter in the huge bowl. “I thought you said… uh, never mind. Rainbow Dash, is that… you’re not wearing a… someone shoot me please.”

“Okey Dokey Lokey, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie burbled, pulling a camera out of nowhere and clicking away. “Now you can have [whoosh-crack!] The Magics.”

With a valiant effort, the unicorn got a hold of herself. Now that she remembered why she had come in the first place, she realized that she had some bawling out to do. “Girls, stop! Now, wasn’t there someplace you were supposed to be?” she asked them expectantly, tapping her hoof on the floor.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash exchanged blank stares, and then guilty looks.

“Wait, don’t tell me, was… was there… there was some kind of… war thing going on today, right?” Rainbow Dash guessed. Noting the look on Twilight’s face, she grinned triumphantly. “See? I didn’t forget! I was just, ah… telling Pinkie here that we needed to be getting to your… um, the… thingy. You know.” she concluded lamely, still smiling hopefully.

“Yeah. I know.” Twilight bristled. She made a noise from behind her tongue that was right about halfway between a sigh and a growl. “Are you awaaaare,” she began with extreme irony evident in her tone, “that there is a WAR GOING ON?!? We don’t, and I repeat, DO NOT have time for MUFFINS!”

“Actually they’re cupcakes actually. Cupca--”

“I. Don’t. Stomping. Care. I want you BOTH over at the café. Now.”

Pinkie Pie sighed. “We COULD have the meeting here…”

“Here.”

“Yeah, we could totally do it here!” RD enthused. I mean, it’s high tech, totally secure, even invisible if we want it to be. And besides,” she said, producing a pair of sunglasses and putting them on, which would have worked if it hadn’t been for the apron, “We have cupcakes.”

“Cupcakes…” Twilight bobbled, her temper suddenly and totally diffused by her friends’ total randomness. She slumped her shoulders in defeat. “Hay, why not?”

***

Spike sat at the Pony and Feather, dozily munching on yet another pastry. “Got to wait… for Twilight… gonna be back soon… Oh, my head (hic). Waiter, another doughnut, straight no sprinkles. Be back soon, said she would… doughnuts…”

~~~