Off on a Tangent

Of course, Cloud Kicker used it as an excuse to have a massive orgy. I don’t think she really believed me – I don’t think anypony really believed me, except for maybe Applejack and Twilight who’d personally experienced near-nonexistence alongside me – but any excuse for an orgy with her, you know? It was a lot of fun, and I managed to wheedle Applejack into joining in for once. I think she ended up having angry hate-sex with Carrot Top.

It wasn’t until everypony was completely exhausted and lying around in a post-coital puddle that ponies really started to believe me. We’d been at it for hours, but the sun was still low in the eastern sky. Even if they didn’t believe that there was a real world somewhere that wasn’t doomed, it was pretty hard to ignore the sun locked in the sky. And nopony could imagine the world not being doomed without Princess Celestia.

“So what do we do now?” Derpy asked, her head resting on my belly as I lazily stroked her mane.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “I’m pretty sexed out, but there’s no point trying to do anything constructive. And I promised Applejack no violence. Maybe we should go gorge on ice cream?”

“And muffins!”

I grinned. “Yes! And candy canes. I love candy canes. Maybe we can crush some candy canes and mix them into the ice cream.”

“Mmmm,” she said, closing her eyes and nibbling at the fur of my chest.

I giggled. “If you’re going to eat me, I should probably have Bonsy change me into candy first.”

“Mmm, but you’re so tasty right as you are,” Derpy said, nibbling more firmly, and catching a fold of skin between her teeth.

My breath caught. And I found myself saying, “Well, stop teasing me then, and take a real bite.” She bit down harder, and I gritted my teeth at the pain. “No, I mean, do it for real,” I said. “Tear off a piece.”

She let go, and I felt her weight lift off me. I looked up to see her standing over me, looking down at me with a worried frown. “Maybe we should get ice cream.”

I rolled to my feet, and my tail drooped, sopping wet like the rest of me, with sweat and… other stuff. I looked over at her, and she looked away.

Yeah, no long-term consequences for anything. Just ones that would last the rest of my life.