Off on a Tangent

Minuette’s clone wanted to go back to Ponyville, but I didn’t see any point to it. Without Twilight’s magic, there was no fixing this. Everything would fade away, until there wasn’t enough left for things to happen, and then nothing would happen, forever. It was the end.

Minuette had known. She’d warned Twilight, but Twilight had gone on ahead anyway. She hadn’t ‘exploded’, she’d escaped. The explosion was a side effect that she hadn’t anticipated, or at least she hadn’t mentioned anything about it in the notes on her ‘time ward’ spell.

I tried casting the time ward spell on myself, but it needed access to the timestream and we didn’t have that anymore. It was too late to save ourselves that way.

Minuette’s clone started to drag me back towards Ponyville by my tail. I told her to just leave me but she wouldn’t. She said that if she was going to die, she wanted to have sex first. I told her that there had been a big orgy already, and she’d missed it. She said that I owed her, and promised to kill me afterwards. She said she’d make dragon noises.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you,” I said, once we were real enough that we were experiencing the world again instead of just narrating it. “But if I try to have sex with you when I’m not in the mood, it’s just going to fall flat. I don’t think you really want to spend your last hours having bad sex.”

“I don’t have any memories of sex at all,” the clone said, scrunching up her face. “Was Minuette a virgin?”

I thought back to the last party Bonsy and I had had with her. “No,” I said. “No, she was most definitely not.” But that reminded me that I hadn’t been back to see Bon Bon all morning, and it was probably going to be my last chance. “Come on, I’ll take you home and we can talk to Bon Bon and see what we can do about getting you de-virginated before we all cease to exist.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” she said. “This has all been so fascinating, what with the notes and the forest and everything. I’m so glad you didn’t kill me.”

“Don’t mention it,” I said, cringing. “Seriously, please stop mentioning it. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I’ll stop mentioning it,” she said. “Soon.”

“When the world ends?”

“Yeah. Soon.”

It wasn’t really that funny. We couldn’t even see the sun anymore, and buildings and ponies didn’t really have shadows. Light didn’t really exist – we could still see things, but they weren’t lit to any specific brightness.

I pushed open the door, and the lack of the usual wave of scent from Bon Bon’s candy making hit me like a stagecoach. Bon Bon herself was sitting on the couch, staring at a batch of flavorless candy. “You did this,” she growled at me as I came in.

“Well… technically, yes.” I said.

“I’m going to kill you!” she snarled, teeth bared as she got up off the couch and advanced on us.

“Wait!” I said, holding up a hoof. She paused, but it was obvious that it was a pause, and that she was still going to hit me as soon as I finished making a futile plea for her to stop. “Bon Bon, the world is ending, soon. I know I don’t deserve to get anything from you, after what I’ve done, but there’s one last thing that I want you to do. Two last things.”

“I’m listening,” she said.

I took a deep breath, and smiled. “First, I want you to kill me. Literally. I don’t care how – you can beat me to death, or just stab me with something, or crush my head – I don’t care. The world is ending and it’s going to be really really boring and I’d rather have an interesting death, since I only get one. You know?”

Bon Bon glared at me. “I understand.”

“Do you think you could do that for me?” I asked, my tail tucked between my legs, and my ears flat against the sides of my head.

Bon Bon nodded, and closed her eyes, dropping her gaze for a second. “Only for you, Lyra.”

I let out a breath, although I’m not sure it was relief I felt. “Then, I want you to have sex with Minuette’s clone. Minny didn’t give her any of her memories of sex, and she wants to have some before everything fades away.”

Bon Bon paused, then nodded sharply. I walked up to her, and nuzzled the side of her head, and then her hoof slammed into my cheek, knocking me to the ground.

“What – stop!” Minuette’s clone cried.

“Stay out of this,” I said, getting back to my feet. I was only halfway up when Bon Bon whirled around and bucked me with her hind legs, throwing me across the room and into a lamp, which shattered. The glass dug into my back, although I could barely feel it through all the dental anesthetic we’d injected, and something broke in my chest. That, I felt, every time I tried to breathe.

Bon Bon charged across the room and head-butted me, right in my broken ribs. I screamed in agony, and the corner of the end table scraped down my side as I slammed into the wall. She reared up, and stomped on my belly, and there was a snap from my left hip, and something acid bubbled up inside me. Blood dribbled out of my mouth, and I pulled a hoof in to my stomach as the pain there didn’t fade after her blow. She stomped again, and a gush of bloody vomit splattered all over my chest, filling my mouth and nose.

She kicked me in the face. She stomped on my hind leg, shattering it. She bit down on the shattered leg and dragged me across the room, whimpering and moaning, into the kitchen, where she grabbed her large knife, that she used for slicing up pans of peanut brittle, and stabbed me in the stomach, over and over. It hurt so bad. It hurt so bad that I didn’t even notice when she sliced me open until I looked down and saw my organs exposed to the air, twitching painfully as my whole body quivered and went into shock.

Her hoof pushed my chin back and to the side, exposing my neck, and she set the edge of the knife against it. “I love you, Lyra,” she said, around the handle.

“I love you so much,” I croaked. “Thank you. Thank –“ The rest of whatever I’d been planning to say was lost as the cold steel drew a line of fire through my larynx, and everything sort of faded out and went away as I died.