Twilight's New Spell

by aerothoz

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Comedy, Tragedy, Random, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Main 6
Length: 2167

Twilight Sparkle studies about a Species called "humans" And things dont go as she has planed...

Pinkie Pie is throwing a Party at Sugar Cube Corner celebrating her first time having a period. Unfortantly for Twilight, she cant go because she upset someponies. Twilight had better things todo anyways, alot of studying about a species called "humans" and summons 4 people to equestria, and things dont go as planned for the purple pony.

*Note* This contains some humans i know in real life

Published 2012-05-19 07:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-19 07:14:01 UTC

Couch is infact best pony

LOL GUYS I MADES A CLOPFIC =D

The air was warm, the sun was shining, and Fluttershy has a boner. Fluttershy woke up that morning and thought “WHAT THE FUCK I GOTS A BONER ~YAY” She then called over her animal friends, and got her peanut butter, and smeared it all over her very big and delicious penis. She then said “YOUR GOING TO LOVE ME” and TRHUSTED that penis in the cocks mouth (by that I mean chicken you pervert). Then all of the sudden Rainbow Dash smashed through her window and said “YO YO YO I SMELT PEANUT BUTTER” and then did a Sonic Rainboom all over her penis. They started going at it, when all of a sudden Angel walked up and said “YOU HAVE’NT PAID YOUR DEBTS” (that’s right rabbits talk u mad bro?) and took at his baby carrot and started in on that sweet nice Flank. Angel then started to fell weird when all of a sudden Gabe Newell came out of nowhere and started to flash his tities, saying “WORTH THE WAIT” Fluttershy Immediately lost her boner, and everypony went home. (DAMN YOU GABE NEWELL)

132862356526743812348431795 Milliseconds Later

Rarity was doing the same shit, making her SLUTTY ASS BITCH DRESSES singing, when all of sudden Fancy Paints busted through the door and said “RARITY MY NEW FAVORITE PONY” Rarity couldn’t help but notice the Fancy Pants was getting a huge boner, and she said, “FANCY PANTS, YOUR NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!!!” Rarity felt something different in her, she want to give Fancy Pants a “Pony Ride” (I BET YOU WERENT SEEING THAT 1 CUMMING) Rarity then said in a seductive voice “So, I heard short tails were in this Season” Fancy Pants then retorted “FUCK YOU BEYATCH I DON’T LIKE DEM TAILS I HAVE A FETTISH FOR SEXY DRAGON’S WITH MUSTACHE’S, NOW EXCUSE ME” Steve Magnet then appeared and said “ALLOW ME” and started to suck Fancy Pants’ 2 centimeter peter, then look at the screen and sang “The Final Countdown” he then ejected his load of blood (TROLOLOLOLOLOL) all over Steven Magnet, and they both died due to overdose (FIGURE THAT OUT)
OK NOW TIME FOR THE REAL CLOP FIC YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR GRAMMER SUCKS FOR A REASON

Twilight just woke up that morning, and she felt…strange. She figured it was nothing, and just carried on with her regular schedule. She got out of her bed and felt a sharp pain coming from her privates. “What happened last night?” she said to herself “SPIKE!” she yelled. No response. She then walked downstairs, and couldn’t believe her eyes, Spike was tied to a wall, with a huge boner, obviously drugged, “What happened last night?” she thought to herself

LAST NIGHT (IF YOU’RE A PUSSY, LUCKY YOU BECAUSE YOUR IN MY FIC)
Pinkie Pie was excited, bouncing around her room in excitement. “I CANT BELIVE IT’S FINALLY THE DAY!” Twilight had Spike prepare the Library for a PAAAAAAAAAAAARTY! “Yes Pinkie, were all excited for you” "I MEAN SERRIOUSLY, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THIS DAY TO COME, I MEAN IM SO EXCITED I COULD’NT EVEN SLEEP, LET ALONE BREATH!” Applejack then walked in and said, “Aye remember my first Period” (ME: WHY AM I WRITING THIS? ; YOU: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?) Applejack then remembered something very important, The Apples. “OH NOES I FORGOT TO BUCK THE APPLES” Everypony started laughing at Applejack “WHATS SO FUNNY? I NEED TO BUCK OR ELSE THEY’EL ROT” Everypony started to laugh even louder! Applejack, oblivious to why they were angry, screamed “WHATS SO WRONG? I LIKE TO BUCK, IT SUPPLIES FOOD FOR PONYVILLE, IF I DID’NT BUCK WE WOULD’NT HAVE THE SWEETDELCIOUS APPLES, SO LAUGH AT ME, I LOVE TO BUCK” The laughing came to a sudden stop, when Big Macintosh then came out of nowhere and said “Little sis, its fine, we don’t need any apples, were celebrating a First Period, EEEYUP” Macintosh said like a boss. Rainbow then said, “Ill make sure the weather is terrible, because im going to act like a bich an cuz u lawl r not gana b abel to wead das setonce cuz rash is da best pwny. Pinkie then acted like a complete Bitch because she was on her period and then cried and yelled again at no one because she hasn’t masturbated in 2 days. Twilight then said “OH PINKIE THE ONLY THING THAT’S GOING TO BE PINK IS YOUR PIE!” (If you understood what I ment there, you are one fucked up person) Twilight then got bitch hoofed by Pinkie and she said “PICKLE BARRY CUMCWART BEEEEYATCH” Twilight then got kicked out and then said “FUCK YOU” and ran home backwards, because she is Twilight Sparkle can because it’s MAGIC. She then got home and un did the party and said to Spike “LOLOLOLOL I MADE YOU DO THIS FOR NO REASON XD” Spike then cried because Spike was masturbating to Rarity’s new Art of the Dress and was looking at her FLANK and said “WAIT THIS ISNT MADE FOR WITTLE GIRLS” and Twilight then sighed “IM GOING TO STUDY ABOUT DA HUMANS” she then did so (YOUR GOING TO LOVE ME JOHN =D) She then saw a spell, and said “Strange, a summon human spell? Let’s try it out!” She then did so, and all of a sudden FOUR HUMANS WERE SUMMONED THEIR, NAMES ARE: John Arns, John McLaughlin, Nicholas Stapeleton, and Casey Wharton. John Arns then said, “WHERE THE FUCK AM I, I WAS JUST MASTERBATING TO MY MORE SEXIER AND AMAZING FRIEND NICK TAYLOR WHILE PLAYING BATTLEFIELD 3 WHILE SUCKING DRINKING MNT. DEW LIKE A BAWWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” John McLaughlin then said, “HOLY FUCK IT’S A PONY” John Arns then said “LOL PONIES R 4 FAGS” all 3 looked at him, and then beat the living shit out of him and died. Nicholas Stapleton then said “LOL GUYS IT’S A PONY LETS FUCK IT” and then Casey said “LUCKILY FOR ME I BROUGHT THE REVERSE PILE DRIVER 6900!”John McLaughlin then said “HEY GUYS I WANA BE LIKE MAGIKARP LET ME USE SPLASH ATTACK!” and then did, IT DID NOTHING. Nicholas Stapleton then started singing “Never Gana Give You Up” by Rick Ashley, and Pushed Twilight onto her bed, and ripped his penis out. Twilight then started to Scream, and Spike heard her, and then ran upstairs, only to be grabbed by John Arns’s dead body and FORCED to mastrerbate to THE MOST HANDSOME MAN ALIVE’S PICTURE (in other words, mine) Nicholas Stapleton then whispered in Twilight’s ear “YOUR GOING TO LIKE THIS LIKE THAT 1 FANFIC CALLED THE AMBASSADORS”. He then THRUSTED his penis in her PUSSAH, Twilight then screamed, but only to be stoped by Casey’s Huge 12 inch Cock. John McLaughlin then said, “I WANTZ 2 BE A METAPOD =D” and then used Harden on his PENIS and THRUSTED his 5 DOLLAR FOOT LONG IN HER ANUS, ONLY TO REALIZE SHE HAS DIAREARIA. Then the only sound to be heard was Derpy’s Voice saying “I JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG” and then Derpy did that slutty Princess Peach Move that uses her A$$ and totally killed John Arns, AGAIN, But spike didn’t care, he cut a hole In Nick Taylor’s Mouth and was FUCKING IT (WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY I WAS BEING FUCKED????) and was planning to, until he got his Tactical Cumming. ANYWHO, Twilight was being FUCKED in all slots, and her bowels lost ALL CONTROLL AND STARTED TO SHIT, PUKE, AND PISS ALL OVER THE RAPISTS! John then screamed “MY METAPD IS ENVOLVING!” Then His Penis BURST into a butterfly, increasing his 5 dollar foot long to a All You Can Eat, And his penis was now touching Casey’s penis, because his dick was just that long, and Twilight lost consciousness, all of them CAME, except John Squirted his Load all over Casey’s face and Casey then screamed at him, because his Penis was going through her body, and they got in a fist fight. Then they all heard something that made their blood stop. A Sentence they all knew to well. It was “Do You Like Bananas?” THEY ALL SHIT PISS AND PUKED then all said “COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH” (COUUUCH) and then said “Eeyup” and then Princess Molestia then Said, “It’s your time to receive =P” and used her magic (TWILIGHT IS A DUMB UNICORN BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T USE HER MAGIC) and bent them all over, exposing their asshoes (IM SORRY YOU GUYS) then John Arns Came back from the dead and saved them but having SECRECT BUTT FUN with her (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR HATING ON ME FOR LIKING PONIES) The 3 of them all ran to Sugar Cube Corner (LOL I DIDN’T TELL YOU I WAS WRITING THIS PART NICK) and snuck into the party. (here it comes… IM SORRY I STILL LOVE YOU JOHN <3) John Then Said GUYS CHARLIE IS WRITING A FANFIC ABOUT PINKIE GETTINT HER FIRST PERIOD. Everyone laughed, but all the ponies looked at the humans. All 3 looked like they were going to burst into Laughing. Then Pinkie Said “LOL GUYS IT’S A HUMAN LETS FUCK IT =D (GUYS WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN IT’S A MENTAL ILLNESS CALLED FUCKAPHOBIA) Then Big Macintosh started singing “Look at My Horse” and then pushed Nicholas Stapleton to the floor and pulled his STALLION COCK out and said “You’re going to enjoy this like that one FanFic called “High Hoe High Hoe Up You’re @$$ WE GO!” and THRUSTED his Penis in his Anus, he Screamed in Pain, only to be stopped by Pinkie Pie’s Pink Bloody Pie (WHY, WHY DID I JUST PUT THAT THEIR) Pinkie then Started sing “HOP SKIP AND A HUMP” and then shit all over Nicholas Stapleton’s Face. And The Casey then started to run away , but didn’t look where he was going, he tripped into the bed Lyra and BonBon were Fucking each other in (yep, my heart just exploded) and then they said “THREEEEEEESOME” and started to butt rape him with Lyra’s horn, and BonBon’s Strap on, he screamed. John then was held down by Fluttershy, and she said “HEY APPLEJACK, YOU LIKE TO BUCK, RIGHT? Applejack retorted “Aye, ANY TIME ANYPLACE!” Fluttershy then forced John to suck her Clint and Applejack was bucking his Apple’s (HOW DO YOU LIKE DEM’APPLE’S XD) Then they all used Rare Candies, and Evolved into a fucking STEVEN MAGNET. Then Princess Molestia Got her Mewtwo And did da pyscic mve an den used terribal gremmer ans spulling. (That has nothing to do with this story) And then Blavaga came out of nowhere, and went to Rarity’s house, and then they had sex all night long (YOUR WELCOME) Then Zecora saved them all, and brought them back to her place and then John said “LOL YOU’RE A STRANGE PONY” Zecora then said “Im not a Pony you fuck, now show me you Dick and Let me Suck” And they all Did so, and Then ALL OF A SUDDEN Another HUMAN APPEARED, his name is Steve Glover, and he started to sing the theme song to Adventure Time, and said “YO YO YO FIN AND JAKE FTW BEYYATCHS, wait DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE THAT’S ZECORA” he then took out his Cent-meter Peter and Everyone/pony started laughing at him. Steve Said “HEY WHATS THIS MY CENT-METER PETER IS ENVOLVEING DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDAHHDUNDAHDUNDHAUDNSHAUD NANANANANaNANANANA YOUR CENTIMETER PETER ENVOLVED INTO 14 INCH PENIS” (that was the lyrics to the Pokémon evolving music) He then TRUSTED his penis into DERPY’S PUSSAH (DERPY’S EVERYWHERE, ITS MAGIC NO NEED TO EXPLANE SHIT) Derpy then said “I JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG” and EXPLODED and DIED, DUNDUNDAH. Then Hank Hill came out of nowhere and said PRO-SEX and PRO-SEX ACCERARIES, and everyone was happy here was there because his voice was awesome and he put his dick in The Great and Powerful TRIXIE ass (Me:LOL IM SO RANDOM You:WHAT THE FUCK) And Hank Then said “BWAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA” in the funny voice that makes everyone laugh, and the all of a sudden they all fuck each other SIMOTANIOUSLY. Then Billy Mays says “HERES ANOTHER FAAAAAAANTASTIC PRODUCT THE ULTIMATE TIP SPIN 6969, HERE SOME SATISFIED CUSTIMORS” He then MADE AN SATISFIED CUSTERMOR by sticking all of it up all their asses, THEN IT WENT ON FOREVER.

PRESENT TIME
Twilight shrugged, it was probably nothing, even after seeing spike’s still erect cock in Nicholas Taylor’s Picture, she then said “I hope I get the results in the mail” She Then went out to her Mailbox, and sure enough, it was, Twilight then Said “FINALLY, I’VE WAITED FOREVER” but in reality, it was 1 week. She then opened it, only to cry, it said “Ms. Sparkle we are so very sorry to Inform you, but you are HIV POSSITIVE, sorry, Sincerely, Princess Celestia. Twilight then said “Lucky for me IM a VIRGIN, I cant spread it =D. THE END (I KNOW YOU WERE’NT EXPECTING THAT XD)