The War of Pies

by RedRaven

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1017

Without knowing, Applejack makes a pie that changes Equestria.

Totally Random, like I dont even know.
Apple Jack makes a pie, not knowing it will change Equestria as we know it.
Forever.
Brother against brother.
Sister against sister.
And Discord thought he knew Chaos.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-17 00:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1: The Magnificent Pies

Applejack loved the feel of the rolling pin in her hooves as she rolled it up and down the pale, wheat colored pie dough. She gained deep pleasure rolling out the dough, until it was flat like a soft dish. Little Apple Bloom and Granny Smith were in for a pleasant surprise when they woke up. Big Macintosh was out working on the orchard, probably doing some back aching field work. Was he working the plow? Bucking apples? She was unsure. All she knew was that the look on her big brothers face when he came in to a nice plate of Apple Pie would be more than fulfilling. Then, he'd give a hardy 'Eeyup!' to prove the work she had done was worth the effort. Not that she didn't like making Apple Pies, oh no. She loved it! The work of making a pie was just as honest as any other! Pouring the produce of her farm that she and her family had done honest work to get to create this masterpiece to feed her family was something worth being proud of!

She closed her eyes as she rolled the dough out into a perfect circle, smiling. She imagined the glimmer in Apple Blooms eyes as she took a bite out of a perfect slice of her pie. The way she'd chew it and smile up at Applejack, proclaiming her hopes of one day making a pie just as good! Then she imagined the nod Granny Smith would give her and hobble all the way down the stairs and to the table, just to get a piece. And the four of them would savor it together like they did every time Applejack made a pie. It was like a tradition.

Just the four of them.

Just as she pulled the pie from the oven, and the scent of fresh apple pie filled the air. But before Applejack could even take a single whiff of her culinary masterpiece, there was a quiet knock on the door. Gradually, the knocking grew louder and louder.

"Who could that possibly be at this hour?" Applejack whispered, looking out the window for some idea of the time. The sun peeked out slightly over the trees. The orange mare trotted over to the door and slowly opened it. She tried opening it quietly, trying not to arouse her younger sister and Granny from their slumber. To her shock, it was Apple Bloom's two closest friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

"What in Equestria are you two doing here at this hour?"

Despite the time of day, the two fillies were buzzing with energy. "We wanted to get up early and do some crusading!" Scootaloo practically yelled.

"We were hoping Apple Bloom was awake," Sweetie Belle explained, speaking with a calm tone. But judging by the way she bounced about, she was bursting with excitement.

"I'm mighty sorry, but Apple Bloom isn't awake yet." Applejack explained calmly.

Scootaloo just barged in like she owned the place, "Do I smell pie?" She gasped randomly.

Applejack's eyes widened. She always wanted to keep her pies only to her and her family. It was tradition. A private thing. She turned around, about to protest  to the young orange filly.

Scootaloo bounded toward the pie, that sat on the counter. It called to her. It needed her. The smell was overwhelming, and made her mouth water. It smelled like pure comfort, or like good memories. It looked just as welcoming. Scootaloo could practically taste the tender apple slices and sweet cinnamon. Her mouth watered, drool dripping onto the floor like a faucet.  She couldn't even think straight. Her only thoughts were the pie. It took over her mind like a bloodthirsty alien, sipping away at her consciousness.

She didn't even search for a knife to cut the piece out. She just started chewing at the pie from the tin. She licked up every bit, and it taste even better than it looked, or smelled. Sweetie Belle facehoofed. Scootaloo was always doing embarrassing things in front of others. She felt as if since Scootaloo wasn't embarrassed, she should be embarrassed for her. Did Scootaloo not see that she was behaving barbaric? You don't just barge into other ponies homes and eat their pies!

Equestria to Sweetie Belle. You can't think like that in this story. You must be a mindless zombie who only desires pies.

Sweetie Belle thought all these things, until her small nose picked up a whiff of the pie. That precious apple pie. Not knowing how many lives would be lost because of her actions, she trotted over to the pie tin that Scootaloo was eating from, and shoved her face into it.  They both made muffled grunts, struggling to breathe as they literally inhaled the apple pie.

Applejack held out her hoof, eyes wide in shock. She'd never seen her little sister's friends behave in such a manner. Well, maybe Scootaloo, but not Sweetie Belle. She's Rarity's sister for crying out loud! Basic etiquette must be pounded into her head, like a hammer that pounds a nail over and over again. Perhaps the hammer broke her. They looked like pigs at the trough, eating the last scraps of apples at the end of the day.

After her mind finally wrapped around this odd situation, she whistled loudly. "Alright girls settle down!" She trotted over and pulled the girls from the pie, but it was gone. Every last crumb. The two fillies had pie all over their faces, and even a few bits in their manes. Sweetie Belle blushed a bit, looking slightly ashamed of her irrational actions. There was a look of horror in their eyes, for they seemed to know they had caused some kind of disturbance in the force. Applejack looked to the empty pie tin in disappointment. All her hard work was wasted.

"Do ah smell pie?" Apple Bloom's excited voice echoed from upstairs. The three ponies listened in horror as Apple Bloom came galloping down the hallway and toward the stairs.

She was not going to be happy.