Normalcy

by Coufnsiou

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Other, Princess Luna, Spike, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 4972

Equestria is a strange place, mystic and magical. Not a modecrum of normality or boredum exists... but that is about to change.

Equestria. All are aware of its magical presence. Equus itself is also drenched in this magical fallout. This magic is what holds the world together, and makes Equus what it is. Not a single thing here would be considered normal to anyone else but a native of the lands that permeate Equus. As is the case with Norman.

Trapped on Equus, it seems Norman is doomed forever to be a perpetual Harbinger of Destruction. Can he avoid this fate? Can he stop whatever causes his very presence to be acidic to the inhabitants of Equestria?

Read and find out.

((Character Tags and Categories will be updated accordingly, as I aim to expand this story to encompass a large portion of the MLP Universe.))

Published 2014-10-20 21:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-19 16:16:20 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

"Hey, Norm?"

"Yeah, Sky?"

"I'm scared..." she said, partly trembling in my arms.

"I know. I am too."

"I don't wanna go..." the sky blue pegasus said, her pink mane and almost azure coat disheveled from stress, her blue eyes drenched with tears. The world around us was falling apart at the seams. There was no screaming, no panic, as Sky and I were the only ones left. The rumbling sound of the ground around us as our sole company. An event of down right cataclysmic proportions, and we were right in the center, watching everything float and dissipate and shatter.

"I know... but it'll be fine..." I was lying. This was all my fault. I shouldn't even be here. I knew it wasn't going to be fine.

"I don't want you to go..." she said, her voice squeaky and wobbling from silently sobbing. It wasn't me who was leaving.

"I'm not leaving..." another cottage like house came crumbling down, the debris falling into the abysmal crevice that had carved it's way through the earth. I was going to be fine... the only thing I had to worry about was the loneliness. Worse than death.

"Hey, remember that song I taught you guys?" She nodded, tears practically streaming down her muzzle. I knew how she felt. I could barely hold back my own.

"Let's sing it... for old times sake..." old times... memories would be the only thing that I'd have left. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

"Yeah, let's." She responded, her voice a partial whisper among the white noise of ceaseless destruction. I cleared my throat and remembered the words.

"You've got a friend in me, You've got a friend in me, " I sang, the melody being a small comfort to the both of us.

"When the road looks, rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed..." she sang in her 80-90s-esque voice, still keeping it's cheerful sing-song tune.

"You just remember what your old pal said, yeah you've got a friend in me..."

__________________________________________________________

It was happening again… like it had all those centuries ago... eerily precise to last time...only Sky wasn’t here this time. In exchange was an even more terrified colt, watching his world slowly faded out around him. He had no wings or horn, and his coat was a broccoli green, his mane a chocolate brown. Pea Pod was his name.

Instead of a cataclysmic earthquake and things slowly disappearing as if their atoms were being torn apart, they were fading away, as if slowly blurring and then leaving nothing but white behind.

“Hey kid, no crying… big colts don’t cry… let’s pick up where we left off…”

He was sobbing uncontrollably, I couldn’t blame him. His world was literally disappearing around him...I watched as Rose Bud and Blue Grass both disappeared into oblivion, fading into nothing. The only two ponies to have given me a chance, to trust me… enough that they’d intrust Pea Pod to me… I started singing.

“You got your troubles… I got ‘em too. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” the grass around us began fading, turning to a canvas white. Pea Pod breathed in shakily and carried on the song.

“W-w-we s-stick together, w-w-w-we see it t-t-through..” He was sobbing, but there were no tears. He had lost them all when he saw his parents blur out to nothing. He screamed for them not to go, he didn’t want them to leave, he begged to go with them… I know how he felt.

“Cause you’ve got a friend in me…”

__________________________________________________________

Why. Why is this always happening? Why does this keep happening? It’s as if the universe is hellbent on making new ways to destroy everything around me…once I was left in utter darkness, the other in blank, white space… it seems I was going to be left in white space again. Trees and rocks suddenly popping out of existence, as if ballons. Next to me was a cream colored unicor, his mane a light, almost baby blue, his eyes were a grassy green. Party Favor was his name. He sat next to me on his haunches making a game out of the objects popping out of existence…

“Hey Normal…” he said, “Remember when things didn’t disappear?” he asked me, poking the air as if popping bubbles. I could remember… but then things kept popping and disappearing.

“Nope…” I lied. I could remember, but again, it just kept happening. Like a sudden nagging reminder. Always there, constantly haunting you like a little mistake you made, something you refused to let go of. This was always my fault. Like a sponge I absorb what holds this world together, everything that makes this would what it is. I essentially kill everything around me, slowly. Like a sponge, I will string myself out, releasing life once again onto this place.

I sometimes wondered if Party knew I was the reason this was happening. If he knew I was responsible for the disappearance of his friends and family, or that he chose to look past that… in which case, this Pony is more Human than I.

“You wanna keep singing?” I asked. His eyes lit up and he smiled wide.

"I thought you'd never ask!" He materialized a little kazoo and blew into it, clearing his throat and getting into an over exaggerated pose. I smirked and began the verse.

"Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am..."

"Bigger and stronger too... maybe. But none of them, would ever love you the way I do."

"It's me and you, boy."

"And as the years go by..." we began to sing in unison, I was crying while Party was smiling happily.

"Our friendship will never die. You're gonna see it's our destiny..."

POP

"... You've got a friend in me… you’ve got a friend in me… you’ve got a friend in me."

Bad Apples and Rowdy Weather

Celestia’s sun rose from the horizon, bringing its golden light from the hills and onto the world. The bright yellow glow quickly spread throughout a quiet town, one familiar to many for its reputation of happenings. From the lush pastures and trees of Sweet Apple Acres to the sweet smells of early baked goods at Sugar Cube Corner, all was right with the world. Well, almost.

Within the walls of the newly relocated Crystal Oak Library stirred something . The crystalline structure held a large assortment of books, so large in fact that the Equestrian Records Society had listed it now as the fourth largest library in Equestria, and sixth on Equus! But within its glassy crystal walls was a dark secret. Something wrathful, something dark, something... purple. Twilight Sparkle had spent the better half of the morning looking for an out of place quill, which had mysteriously disappeared from her careful vigil.

She had done all but tear the library apart by the roots-which she could have done easily- to find this unruly and eerily stealthy quill. Spike was sifting through shelf after shelf of books in an effort to calm down the mauve monster of organization.

“Oh where is it?!” Twilight’s voice practically cracked, “I swear I put it precisely next to ink pot J-43, and right next to scroll I-67!” for the sixth time this morning, she repeated the process of levitating each and every scroll, ink pot, quill, and piece of parchment in the desperate search for the missing quill.

“Twilight, calm down! I’m sure we’ll find it, you just misplaced it!” Spike reassured her, before putting away the last of the books he had just sifted through.

“Besides, nothing’s truly lost till Spike the Dragon can’t find it!” He struck a dramatic pose, heroic in his mind, over-exaggerated when executed. Twilights purple aura surrounded near everything in the library, which included Spike.

“Woah!” he exclaimed, suddenly lifted from his spot and mixed in with the countless office supplies. “Twilight! Put me down!” Spike pleaded, but she was too busy searching for the quill in the blur of lavender that she didn’t bother noticing the purple dragon in the myriad of light mauve.

Spike meanwhile, felt as if his balance had been taken, crushed, built back up,and crushed again. He spun like Sandra Bullock in Gravity, trying to center himself before he lost his recently eaten breakfast. Suddenly, he spotted it.

“Twilight! I found the quill!” Everything dropped. Spike fell to the ground with an audible ‘oof’, before suddenly facing two saucer wide eyes, “Where?! Where is it?!” Twilight near accosted the poor baby reptilian, before he reached to her ear with a deadpan expression. He pulled back, a quill in his claw, still keeping his deadpan face. Twilight let up on the poor baby dragon, blushing and squee-ing in embarrassment, both at her reaction and her mad hunt for a quill that was on her the whole time.

“Honestly Twilight, you gotta calm down! You lose a quill and it’s like you’ve lost your mind!” Spiked exclaimed, standing and dusting himself off from his sudden drop.

“I can’t help it Spike! A place for everything, and everything must be in place!” Twilight said, striking an equally dramatic pose. “And besides, what would happen if I lost something important? Like the Elements? It’d be a catastrophe!” Twilight explained, thinking back to those instances where she and her friends had used the Elements of Harmony and the Power of Love on Equestria’s greatest foes.

“Oh come on Twilight, no one’s going to misplace the Elements! They’re way too important! And you’re a princess now! No one would even think of messing with you!” Spike went ahead and began picking up the paraphernalia that had been tossed about in Twilight’s mad search. Twilight meanwhile, felt something off. Nothing serious, but never the less, something to tuck away in the back of her mind. Speaking of tucking things in her mind, she had promised Apple Jack and Fluttershy she’d help them around their orchards and cottage, respectively.

“Spike!” Twilight called out as she head out the door, “I’m going out to help Apple Jack and Fluttershy! Can you mind the library while I’m gone?” Spiked turned and gave off a salute with a quill and parchment in his hands. "Aye aye, captain!"

Twilight giggled at the baby dragon's display, before shutting the door and leaving the dragon to do his work. Once again, that feeling. What was it? She pondered, a concerned expression on her muzzle. Experimentally, she lifted a nearby flower pot with her magic. There it was again! Like a small nagging feeling in the back of her mind...

"Aw well, I'll find out later!" She reasoned with herself. For now, she had a promise to uphold! Onward, to Sweet Apple Acres!

______________________________________________________________________

CRACK

This was nuts!

CRACK

Why?!

CRACK

Why won't they fall?!

Applejack was practically exhausted from bucking all these trees, yet for all her effort, she couldn't get the apples to fall! The ones that did could barely qualify as apples anyway! These apples certainly didn't live up to their name! Starving Fruit Bats wouldn't eat these! They weren't sweet in the least! They were bruised and battered, more often than not had worms in em', and with every buck of the tree, all she seemed to do was splinter the poor thing!

"Consarnit ya' stubborn fruits! Get! Off! The! Branch!" She couldn't do it. Her barrels were only a quarter full, and less than that quarter had any usable apples! She'd have nothing for the market at this rate! Big Mac had tried his luck at the ordeal, but the same result seemed to crop up. All that his bucking would do is splinter the tree, with almost no apples to show for it! This was getting out of hand.

"Hello Applejack!" Aha! Eureko! Or was it Eureka? No matter! The answer to all of Applejack's problems had arrived!

“Twilight! Am I glad ta’ have you here! I need yer’ help…” Applejack said, catching her breath from all the apple bucking.

“What’s the matter Applejack?” Asked Twilight, she looked over her friend's shoulder and saw her barrels. Immediately, she began calculating the apples. But… something was wrong here… during her calculation, she came up with a 2:6 ratio of Good to Rotten apples! This wasn’t normal…

“Are your apples okay Applejack?” Twilight asked, still running mathematics in her head and calculating the rate at which she needed to harvest good apples to be ready for the afternoon market. Approximately several hours at the best! This was a dire situation! This was definitely not normal!

“Of course they ain’t ok, Twilight! Look at ‘em! I’ve been bucking these trees since first light, and Ah can’t get any barrels worth o’ apples! Big Mac tried, and Apple Bloom tried ta’ help, but ‘dis is completely nuts!” Applejack said, exasperated from the explanation.

“Ah hate tah ask Twi, but could ya’ maybe do yer magic light show and help me out here?” Applejack asked, a pleading expression in here eyes.

“Of course Applejack! After all, what are friends for?” She said, charging up her horn with magic. Again, there it was again. For the third time this morning, that feeling came back, almost in full force. Things were far from normal. “No! I need to focus!” Twilight told herself, getting back on track and forcing that unnatural feeling from her mind. She closed her eyes and imagined the apples floating from the branches and into a set of new empty barrels.

The tell tale sound of the apples levitating from the trees resounded throughout the orchard. Twilight opened her eyes to see just that. Within her aura, apples of all sizes and shapes were stuck floating in mid-air, some rotten and some ripe. She sifted through the fruity cloud in a matter of seconds, sorting out the rotten apples from the ripe ones. Within a few seconds, the ripe apples had filled all but one of the barrels prepared.

“Woo eh! Ah never git’ tired of seein’ that!” Applejack said holding on to her stetson hat. “Thanks a lot fer yer’ help Twilight, ah couldn’t have done it without ya’...” Applejack said, grabbing one of the handles of the bucket with her teeth, and throwing it onto the cart she had prepared. Meanwhile, Twilight felt… nauseous. As if something had been jumping in her stomach. She shook her head violently, not wanting to worry her tired out friend.

“It’s… nothing, Applejack. Happy to help! I have to go help Fluttershy with her animal friends! I’ll be seeing you around!”

“See ya’ later, Twi!” called out AJ, still busily loading her now harvested apples onto her cart. “Guess Imma need ta’ hire som’ farm hands… wait.”

________________________________________________________________________

Today was a beautiful day! The Sun was shining!

drip

The sky was clear!

drip drip

And there wasn’t anything that could ruin this d- SPLASH

WHAT!?!

Rain? Why was it all wet?! Why was it raining?! There wasn’t any storm scheduled today! Why was it raining!? Twilight immediately ducked into the nearest awning shaking herself off from the water before an audible “poof”. Standing there now was a fluffy lavender unicorn. Adorable.

Twilight looked to the sky when he heard the sound of whooshing. A long rainbow streak was passing through the clouds with little to no effect besides displacing the tufts of moisture and the occasional coughing fit. Hold on a second…

“Rainbow! What’s going on here?!” Twilight frantically asked, the rain continuing to hammer down on the town’s square. All around ponies looked either terrified or confused. Had the Weather Team messed up? Had there been some mistake at the weather factory? Discord?!

No. This was no time for panic, Rainbow would know! “I don’t know!” Darn. “What do you mean you don’t know?!” Twilight called up to the cerulean pegasus as she dashed through numerous stormclouds. She coughed out an ounce or so of rain water and turned to Twilight. “I mean I don’t know! The weather was supposed to be sunny and clear, a balmy 70 degrees, with a light breeze! Not even Thunder Lane could mess up this badly!” She quickly resumed racing through the storm clouds, merely displacing them while the rain continued to pound the town.

This was madness! First Sweet Apple Acres, now the weather? Something was definitely not normal! Twilight conjured up a spell from her arsenal, before firing it into one of the center most clouds. The spell became a glowing lavender ball of energy, before imploding, and exploding outwards, clearing the storm clouds. “There! All clear everypony! Sorry about the mess!” Twilight called out to all the ponies hiding beneath awnings and inside shops. Rainbow had some explaining to do.

“Rainbow Dash! Come down here!” Twilight called out before Rainbow could fly away in a burst of speed. She landed and crossed her hooves with a “I-didn’t-do-it-” face. The face of a terrible liar. Almost worse than AJs. “Yeah? What’s up egghead?”

“You know what’s up! Those rainclouds!” Twilight explained, “There wasn’t any rain due till next week!” She continued, again, all sorts of numbers ran through her head for rearranging the schedule of the Weather Team, not to mention the extended responsibilities her crown would give her! All those audiences about erosion and such…

“I know it seems fishy Twi, but I didn’t do it!” retorted Rainbow in her defense, “I was minding my own business, and suddenly it’s starts dripping and raining and pouring! I asked around at the factory and they said they were trying to help, but said the clouds were dissa… disse… disappearing, under their hooves!” Rainbow explained, just as worried as Twilight. That feeling again when she had used that spell… a headache this time around… no matter.

“Well, alright. I guess I’ll contact the Princess and see if they know anything…” Twilight shuffled away that memento once more into her mental file cabinets. She still had Fluttershy to help! If her cottage is anything like the weather or Sweet Apple Acres, who knows how the animals would be acting up!

“You go and see if there aren’t any more storms acting up, I’ve got to go check up on Fluttershy!” Twilight turned and quickly galloped down the path to Fluttershy’s cottage, she may need her help! “Well alright… say hi to Flutters for me!” Rainbow said, waving her galloping friend goodbye.

________________________________________________________________________

Trapped. That’s what he was right now. A white space, white as the page you’re reading on… yeah that’s right, you wouldn’t expect me to be able to see you now did you? Well I can see you… clear as fucking day.

You thought this would be all in third person? Think again asshats. If I’m going along for this shit ride for a FIFTH time… well you’re coming with me! Back to the third person!

Trapped. He couldn’t remember how long he had been, nor did he really care. Honestly, he didn’t want to leave. Everytime he did it was the same routine. He tried stopping it. Over and over, he tried so hard, and got so far (but in the end, it doesn’t even matter). He didn’t want the three-peat when it came around. He didn’t want there to be a fourth, a third, or a second time… the only concern on his mind was how the author had come up with ways to fuck him over.

And believe me when I say friends… I have plenty in store.

Born to Be Wild

Twilight quickly galloped down the path to Fluttershy’s cottage. She leapt over a fallen log in her path, the large timber not deterring her from her journey. “I have to see if Fluttershy is alright! if the weather and plants are acting up, it’s only a matter of time before animals start causing all sorts of havoc! Like that bunny stampede…”

She kept on running, she had to see if her friend was alright, and make sure- WHAM.

Twilight was sent rolling backwards with a blur of pink speed, before landing on her back and stopping. Now atop her was one very hyper active, small pupilled, usually bubbly mare known as Pinkie Pie. Her irises were the size of pinpricks, her face stony and stern, as if she had peered into the void, and the void had gazed longingly back into her very soul.

“TWILIGHT!!” Pinkie screamed atop the lavender mare. “Pinkie? What’s gotten into you? Are you alright? What happened? Also, can you let me up?” Twilight asked from her prone position.

“Yes, but hurry! We haven’t got much time!” Pinkie said hurriedly, lifting Twilight from the ground with her forehooves. Twilight dusted herself off, wondering how strong Pinkie would have to be to lift her using only her forehooves… aw well, she’d figure out later. “Pinkie! Calm down, explain what happened…” Pinkie took a few breaths, inhaling and exhaling, and started speaking:

“WellthismorningIfeltarealdoseyfrommyPinkieSense™andthenIheardthatAppleJackhadtroubleatherfarmandRainbowcouldn’tcontoltheweathersoIrushedovertoRaritiesandhersueingmachinewouldn’tworksoIcameheretocheckonFluttershybeforesomethingAWFULhappenssoIcameoverheretoseeifshewasalrightandthenIfoundyouandthenItackeldyouandnowwe’reHERE!”

“What?” Twilight replied. “Well, I said-” Pinkie attempted to explain once more, but Twilight quickly placed a hoof over her mouth, stopping her from going off again. “Never mind, Pinkie. Quick, follow me, we have to see if Fluttershy’s alright!”

“But that’s what I just said!” Pinkie and Twilight resumed their gallop to Fluttershy’s cottage home, quickly arriving at the path to her door. “Wait…” Twilight said in a hushed voice. Leaning in slightly, she listened in for any noise from the cottage or the outside. No chirping… no roaring… nothing. “It’s quiet…” she said, “Too quiet.” Pinkie by now was already up to Fluttershy’s doorstep, throwing caution to the wind. Already with a hoof on the door, Pinkie began pushing the door open to Fluttershy’s home, “Hey Fluttershy? Are you okay?”

This was an understatement. Fluttershy was more than okay. All around the cottage lay dozens of animals, all of them lying in one position or another. Badgers, Beavers, Bears, Cats, Dogs, all on their sides, their backs, their stomachs, there was even a tiger sleeping in her kitchen. The interior of the cottage looked like it had been through a warzone. Practically nothing was left unturned or untouched or splattered by what seemed to be fruits and vegetables. Fluttershy herself sat atop a very large bear, war paint beneath her eyes, a Rambo-style bandana adorning her forehead, her mane wild and de-shriveled, a lit cigarette in her mouth. To her right she held a tranq-gun, the ammo of which was splayed along the walls and floors in well lined patterns. Said darts were in the rear or side of each animal, and Fluttershy seemed to have an annoyed expression on her face.

Twilight and Pinkie gawked at the site, their mouths slamming to the floor.

“Well? Are you going to stand there all day or do I have to invite you in?” Fluttershy said, taking a puff of her cigarette and blowing the smoke out in rings. Pinkie and Twilight entered the cottage wordlessly, their mouths still dragging on the floor from the site in front of them. The door shut behind them and Fluttershy dropped off from the bear she had been sitting on. She gave the unconscious animal a few pats, whispering something to it as it slept. She joined her friends in her living room as she removed her bandana and war paint, stroking her mane back into place before stopping in front of the still gawking pair.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry for that, it’s just that my animal friends started acting up and wouldn’t listen to me! So I had to put them all to sleep…” Fluttershy stated matter-of-factly. Twilight and Pinkie had recovered from the initial shock of seeing their pegasus friend so… assertive. assertive in an aggressive way no less! Shaking her head from side to side, Twilight quickly began her investigation.

“Fluttershy, I have to know, did anything suspicious happen before the animals started acting up?” Twilight asked her friend, making a mental checklist as she waited for a response.

“Well… I was noticing some strange noises in the Everfree, and loads of my animal friends started acting up, and pretty soon they wouldn’t listen to me… not even Angel! Everypony just seemed so agitated and wild…” Fluttershy said, looking over her shoulder at her animal friends. She had a look of concern on her face when she looked at the battle field of her living room, giving a slight whimper at the destruction the fierce battle had caused.

“What kind of noises?” Twilight asked, curious of the happenings around the Everfree.

“Well, there was a loud rumbling as if the forest shook, like it was scared, almost shivering! Then trees started groaning and creaking, and I hid under the couch. Angel tried to comfort me, but then he started to act really strange and skittish. Then he started acting… well, like an animal.” Angel seemed to emphasize this as he kept himself to a form that accented his “rabbitness”. Rather than standing as he usually did, he was on all fours, ears slightly flopping as his nose wrinkled. He hopped about, sniffing a few things before ducking under a cabinet.

“I’ve never seen any animals act like this before…” Twilight thought to herself, he mental note pad scribbling like mad. She looked around the cottage, noticing something else about the animals. They didn’t seem… normal. They didn’t have their usual shades of colouring, as if they had somehow been dumbed down, and their furs looked rougher, less smooth and more furry. It’s as if someone had taken away their ability to think, reduced their minds to match their beastly bodies, leaving nothing but primal and base instinct. This was most definitely not normal.

Suddenly, the door to Fluttershy’s cottage swung open, a peeved white coated and purple maned mare. Her eyes were narrowed and aggressive, glaring down to the kitchen, causing Fluttershy to ‘eep’ in surprise. Rarity entered the small hut, politely closing the door behind her, that or she was experiencing the same thing that Twilight was, increasing migraines. She calmly sat next to the door, still peeved looking while an equally peeved looking, cyan colored pegasus hovered inside. Rarity shut the door, her expression dissolving into a strange smile, almost serene and oblivious to the goings on around her.

“Well? Is anypony going to ask us what happened?” Rarity asked, still standing next to the doorway. Her friends looked at each other briefly before Twilight broke the silence, “What happened Rarity?” She asked, her voice inquisitive as to what could drive her to such annoyance.

“I had been minding my own business, when suddenly, my sewing machine began to sputter and cough! Before I knew it, it had stopped entirely and completely ruined the new dress that I had been tasked with making! I couldn’t even start from scratch as all my fabric seemed to have… ‘lost’ their appeal!” Lost their appeal?

“Rarity, what do you mean, ‘lost their appeal’?” Twilight pressed, curious as to what she meant, “Well, I had been planning to use some excellent yellow silk when it suddenly… turned. Its as if its color had left it, no longer shining but… dull and sullied.” As if by magic, she brought forth a yellow silk cloth from her side. She held it in her mouth and Twilight levitated it in front of her. In a way, Rarity was right… the cloth seemed dull and far away, not the usual brightness that most pieces of cloth had. She lifted it with her mind and for the enth time this day, she felt as if a weight had latched onto her frontal lobe. It took all of her being not to slump down then and there horn first.

It was like this cloth wasn’t cloth but lead. Little pieces of fluid lead that had been strung together. Twilight was practically gritting her teeth to hold this thing up. Her aura released the grey-ish cloth and it fluttered to the ground. She let out a gasp, trying to recover herself from the exertion. Her friends immediately moved in.

“Twilight! Are you okay?” Rainbow Dash inquired, concern painting her face at the sudden fall of her friend. Twilight struggled to keep awake, it was like that piece of cloth carried a greater force with it, something almost… ominous. She couldn’t do it.

Darkness.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Aw shit, it’s worse than I thought.” A lanky figure said. He examined his surroundings from atop the hill that acted as his perch. Behind him was a hole and a coffin that he had clawed his way out of. The coffin looked more like eons old swiss cheese, with trillions of holes lining its sides and top.

The figure was clad in dusty, hole ridden clothes, the once bright color looking dull and worn from time. He was skinny beyond belief, his ribs showing through his grey and flaky skin. His face looked thin and sharp, with small white lips.

“Case you were wondering what’s gotten worse I mean me.” The figure spoke to no one in particular.

“My jacket looks like it went through the time-space woodchipper, I’m fairly certain I’m now related to the Crypt-Keeper. Jesus Christ my voice is gravelly.” he said, coughing and sputtering out his words.

“Never mind the fact that the author is blatantly ignoring my attempt to break the 4th wall, even after all that backstory.” The walking corpse said, now gazing over his surroundings.

“...it looks more pastel than I remember. More outlines… that’ll fade away soon enough. Wonder if the animals started acting up yet? Aw, I might have meta gamed there. Oh well.”

Author's Note

MAN THIS TOOK AWHILE! Anyways, you guys have fun with this chapter, comments, critique, whatever's welcome!