No Deed is Done for Free

by Laughing Jack

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, Sex
Length: 2707

As a human, I've always found pleasure in helping other people, even if it involved a bit of "wet work," especially for payment. Some things don't change, even with a few extra abilities to make me more than human. Even in a new w

“In a perfect world, the light and the dark will find a way to balance each other.”
Such were the last intelligent words of a mostly-good stallion I knew, just before he was... Taken, for lack of a better term, by the balance he sought to serve. In my old life, there was no “balance,” only profit, whether it be in money, favors, or the delusion that you were good. I can’t say that much has changed, except that going against the balance will result in you getting punished, one way or another.

I managed to avoid punishment, but it managed to catch up to me.

It’s been about 1,100 years since I was last free, So I think it’s time I do what I do best:
Make a profit, doing jobs others won’t do, even if they go against what ‘should’ be done.

Here’s my foray into the LoHaV(ish) group. My character was made using the random power generator thread. I’d post a link to it, but it’s no longer where I thought it was. The point of the thread was to use 5 random powers and make a story, the main character being a human(?) with those powers. My five are:

Fairy Aura: repels dark magic.
Divine Slayer: among other things, gains the power to kill gods.
Bio-energy Manipulator: can manipulate, absorb, and generate bio-energy, bio-electricity, and bio-mass.
Infected Arm: one arm becomes a symbiotic “parasite” (think ‘Migi’ from the manga “Parasyte”).
Magical Trap Construction: Can make magic-based traps/alarms.

As always, tell me what you think about my story (I read all comments, even if I don’t reply). Constructive criticism is appreciated.

Published 2014-10-23 06:30:08 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-06 19:15:16 UTC

Prologue: It's Been too Long

For the umpteenth time I look from one shackled wrist to the other and can’t help but think that, all in all, Celestia and Luna overreact too much. Shaking my head I look along the chains holding me to the great tree, marveling at how large it had grown while I was imprisoned. Hell, I could remember when I was first chained to it, though back then the chain had been looped around the tree. Over time though, the tree had grown over the chain, leaving me more so restrained than I had been. Fortunately for me, the chain had an enchantment that let them lengthen so that I wouldn’t eventually ripped apart because the chain ran out of slack.

I was dragged from my musings by the crack of dry brush underfoot. I searched the forest surrounding me before a pony galloped into the clearing, it's head turned to glance back at whatever seemed to be chasing it. Seeing it neither look ahead of itself or make any move to stop, I tensed my body. It crashed into me making an alarmed sound as it fell to the ground stunned.

I turned my attention to the area where the pony had come from. Presuming a couple of timber wolves or perhaps a manticore stalking the invisible boundary of my clearing, I was instead greeted with a couple of deep growls from the upper treeline. Looking up I saw something a bit more troublesome.

It was a fucking hydra. I had a problem with that.

See, when I was imprisoned, one of the spells that was a part of it was a natural deterrent. Most animals, predators included, would either avoid the clearing entirely or, once in a blue moon a greater predator would come near. They would smell something here and take a few steps in. Some other part of the spell would soon drive them away, taking with it another slim chance for freedom.

My problem stemmed from the fact that the hydra was classified as a greater predator. Not only that, but the pony had evidently pissed it off, because even now the great beast was eyeing us both from the trees with a couple of taloned toes breaking the unseen barrier.

I looked down at the pony, a tan pegasus stallion with a dark green mane and tail, both cut short to make travelling easier. His cutie mark was covered by brown saddlebags held shut by a simple bronze buckle. I gave him a casual kick to get his attention.

He rose to his haunches and looked up dazedly, his eyes trailing up my legs and torso, glancing aside at my shackled wrists and letting his gaze linger a bit on the wrappings on my right arm. Finally, the stallion let his eyes come to rest on mine, even as one of the hydra’s heads tasted the air for the scent of prey.

The pegasus whimpered as he glanced back at his pursuer. He looked back to me. "Please help me," he said with a surprising amount of calm, though an occasional twitch showed the fear that had driven him to run.

I raised an eyebrow. Did he seriously not see the one thing wrong with that request? “As much as I’d love to help,” I jangled the chains, “I’m a little tied up at the moment.”

He looked rapidly between me and the hydra now edging its way into the clearing. “I… I can help.” His eyes focused on me. “Swear you’ll protect me and I’ll free you.”

I smiled at this. “How long are we talking about?” I asked, anticipating the freedom just a few words away.

“I don’t care, just swear it!” he all but screamed.

My smile grew. “Deal. I swear on all things meaningful that I’ll protect you for the agreed-upon time in exchange for my freedom.” I tugged at the chains. “Now, please break me loose so I can do my job.”

The stallion nodded. Craning his head back he reached into his bags, sparing the emboldened hydra a panicked glance, and pulled out a compact pick. Unfolding it deftly he hefted it in his mouth. Once, twice, three times he swung it and three times it hit the manacle trapping my right wrist. With a shrieking protest the metal band gave way under the assault, breaking along minute faults that had been worn into it over time. The stallion quickly shifted his blows to the other manacle, breaking it as well.

I looked mournfully at what was surely a permanent ring of chafing around where the chains had held my left wrist. Pulling off the cloth from my right arm, I looked with some satisfaction that there was no such mark on the other wrist. I smiled lightly when my right hand twitched twice, then changed slightly, the fingertips growing inch-long claws.

My attention was drawn by the bellowing call of the hydra, now fully standing within my clearing. “I suppose you’re tired of being ignored,” I ask, not really expecting an answer. One of the five heads briefly looked at me before turning back to the pegasus. I frowned.

They snubbed me? In favor of some half-baked pony adventurer? That hurt. “Hey, hey, before munching on dessert over there, shouldn’t you at least try to eat your dinner?” I chuckled at the indignant look the stallion shot me. “What? You are smaller.” He just shook his head muttering something about odd creatures.

I caught a flash of movement in the corner of my eye. One of the hydra's heads crashed into the ground the stallion had stood on before I pulled him beside me. Moving quickly I stepped forward and stabbed my claw into it’s neck. The hydra threw its injured head back with a cry of pain, bringing me into range of the other heads. The nearest one snapped at me, its teeth piercing the flesh of my left arm. I barely had time to open my mouth before I found myself--quite literally--disarmed.

I screamed in tandem with the monster’s cry of victory. I watched as it tossed back its head, my arm sliding off the hydra’s fangs and into its throat. I whimpered as my eyes stayed focused on the offending head, now turning back to me.

“God dammit.” With those last words I let go of the neck I’d been holding onto, my gaze locked on the jaws seeking to finish the meal it had started.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

POV: ???

I couldn’t believe it. Sure the being wasn't nearly as tall as the hydra, and maybe he didn’t have a bunch of muscle, but the way he’d spoken with such confidence had made me think that he at least had some sort of plan. Evidently he was stupider than he looked, not only getting his arm bitten off, but getting swallowed by the same head! To think I’d lost time better spent making my getaway by gaping stupidly at him.

The heads, having made easy work of their meal, now looked back as me, giving a glare that promised great pain.

Well, I’m sure you were a nice… thing, whatever you were, but since you failed, I’ve gotta make up for lost time.

Just as I turned to run I heard a strange rumble. Evidently the hydra head it too, though it didn't seem to know what it was. A second rumble sounded and the hydra turned its heads to look at its stomach. The softer scales covering the beast's underbelly were discoloring, turning from a healthy tan to a rotten shade of violet not unlike a bad bruise. The bruising spread towards the hydra’s conjoined throats and moving up its necks.

All but one of the heads looked up at me and I could almost feel how inarticulately wrong the hydra felt in that moment. The hydra's legs quivered for a moment before giving way, pitching it forward into the dirt with one head thumping against the ground a few meters away.

Silence reigned supreme for a moment as I tried to figure out what had happened. A twitch from the neck extended in front of me drew my nervous attention. As I watched, the twitch traveled towards the maw of the beast. The light that filtered through the tree canopy finally managed to alight on the tall biped as he exited the mouth of the hydra, severed left appendage gripped in his right talons.

He looked down at me with a trace of amusement before lifting the bloodied end of the limb to what must be his shoulder. Nauseated, I watch as the muscle reaches out to the severed limb, latching on and pulling it back into place as the skin stretched and connected to cover the vulnerable muscle. In a matter of seconds the severed limb was reattached.

Stretching his body released a cacophony of cricks from his joints. Looking down at my disgusted face seemed to bring him amusement. He bent into what seemed a well-practiced bow as he spoke in a rehearsed manner. "As agreed: for services rendered; I, Alan Aengus, shall travel with and protect you until such time as you reach modern civilization." He smirked at me. "I'll take good care of you."

By Celestia's hot flank, what was I getting in to?

Author's Note

And so it begins. What could possibly go wrong?

Say What!?

Author's Note

Ba-boom, back from the dead! Complete with a new job, and a more positive, relaxed attitude.
I actually surprised myself. I didn't think I could finish this as soon as I did.
Enjoy~

Say What!?

“So…“ the pegasus next to me drew out, “what was that with your…” he let the question trail off, gesturing with one wing to my freshly reattached left arm.

I looked absentmindedly at the limb before my eyes resumed their search of the forest. It had been about an hour since I’d been freed, and already the restlessness that had built over my imprisonment was urging me to run wildly, to revel in my newfound freedom. I repressed the urge and steered my mind back to my client.

“Arm,” I replied. “It’s called an arm.” You’d think everyone would know this, since minotaurs have them as well. “Reattaching a limb isn’t considered ‘normal’ by my species,” I explained. “Hell, most of the things you take for granted — magic being a big one — aren’t common back home by any stretch of the imagination.”

He frowned, scepticism clearly writ on his muzzle. “So how did you do it, if not with magic?” he questioned.

I felt myself grin as I answered, “Bio-energy manipulation.” I couldn’t wait to change the way this pony thought. “It’s like this: most ponies are taught that magic is everywhere, residing within the living, keeping their being bound to the mortal plane of existence.”

“That’s only partially correct though,” I continued. “Everything does have a non-physical energy in it. Only non living things have actual “magic” in them. Living beings have their own life energy. To date, ponies are the only beings who actively use their energy to fuel their abilities, which they call magic. Really, a pony's energy can only be used up to a point, making it technically impossible to die of using too much energy. You can use too much too quickly, causing a sort of burnout, but you won't die from using all of your energy. What usually kills sometime is when they run out of energy after the fact."

He gave me a blank look in response. "I just wanted to know how you reattached your arm." His eyes lidded slightly. “Anyways, that’s common enough knowledge that every unicorn, if not everypony, could tell you that.” He smirked as I felt my face fall slightly. "Heck, I remember learning about it in grade school."

Damn, how long was I imprisoned? I shook my head. "Er, right then. Anyway, my ability allows me to control life energy, letting me move it elsewhere throughout their body and even into my own body.” I smirked. “It isn’t limited to just the energy though: I can also control the living tissue to do the same, making it simple to heal myself or anyone else.”

“Like Starswirl was able to do?”

“God damn that son-of-a-whorse Starswirl!” I exploded, “He wouldn’t know an original idea if it bit him in the ass!" I whirled around to face my charge, who had jumped a few feet away during my outburst. "I suppose he also came up with an amazing amount of new spells?"

He nodded, a bit put off with my sudden change in attitude. It figures. He comes up with one or two amazing new spells, and suddenly people start thinking he came up with others as well. "I wouldn't put it past him to have gained some 'inspiration' from his apprentice," I muttered. At my companion's questioning look, I elaborated. "Clover was the brilliant one. Starswirl likely took one of his "unfinished" theories and finished it, publishing it under his own name."

The stallion looked troubled. "How can you be so sure of that? You couldn't know that for sure."

I snorted. "Just because I wasn't there doesn't mean I can't know that's what he'd do. I knew him more than I'd have liked to," I replied. "Doesn't mean he was all bad. He was really lazy though. Lots of people couldn't stand him for just that reason," I reluctantly admitted.

"Wouldn't he have said something about it though?" My next words must have been obvious, because he was quick to clarify with, "Clover, that is."

I rubbed my temples, vaguely annoyed at the whole conversation. "Can't this wait for later?” My annoyance faded slightly, replaced with a growing elation. “I’m free. For the first time in… In…” How long had I been locked away? Frowning, I looked to the unnamed stallion I had been protecting. “Sorry, what’s your name?”

His head twitched, a bit put off by the change in topics. “Wh- Field Study, but what does-”

“Field Study,” I interrupted, “Do you know how long ago I was put away in there? I lost track of time after a decade or so.”

His muzzle twitched, likely irritated. I almost felt sorry for interrupting, but I just had to know. “Probably sometime in the late 900s Post-Banishment. Do you remember what year you were imprisoned?” Field Study asked. It was my turn to frown.

“Post-Banishment? Last I heard, it was 5 OaC.” His irritation gave way to disbelief. “You know, Ordo ab Chaos. What do you mean, post banishment? What could have be so important that banishing it was a significant mark in time?”

His eyes wide, he stared at me in what was either pure adoration or sheer astonishment. I, personally, was hoping it was the latter. “C'mon man, don't look at me like that. I only like getting that look in the bedroom." My words seemed to jolt him from whatever he was thinking, a blush coloring his cheeks.

"N-no, but I'm-I don't-" His teeth clicked shut as his mind caught up with his mouth. His jaw worked open and shut a few times before he spoke again. "Ordo ad Chao. Post Discord's Death." His eyes widened. "The least known-of period of time in equestrian history, as well as the shortest." He shivered. "What in Tartarus are you?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then considered the question. "Human, a little more and less," I answered.

He started, "A-are you-"

"Immortal?" I interrupted. "Not really. My body will only last around 80-ish years." I smiled. "Without help, that is."

He opened his mouth to speak, which I just had to interrupt again. "No, you're just that predictable." A flash of guilty pleasure went through me when I saw his eye twitch sharply. "Nevermind that, what's the big question you want to ask?"

He seemed to hesitate for a moment. "If you aren't immortal, and your body is only supposed to last 80 years," he said slowly, "how are you still alive and well after eleven-hundred years, without any apparent food, water, or shelter?"