A Little Disturbance

by Samey90

Rating: mature
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Maud Pie, Sex, Flash Sentry
Length: 5211

Flash Sentry's life gets turned upside down when a mysterious voice tells him that he's the only person who can bring back the balance of the universe.

Flash Sentry has a mission. A disembodied voice told him that the only way to save the universe is to find the other Twilight Sparkle. Will he manage to do that before it's too late?

Rated M for fanservice.

Published 2014-10-27 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-27 04:10:02 UTC

In which Flash is a little disturbed.

“Flash Sentry!”

Flash opened one eye and looked at the clock standing on the nightstand. It was 3 AM – far too early to get up and talk with some disembodied voice saying his name.

“Flash Sentry!”

“What?” Flash asked groggily. “Who are you to wake me up at that ungodly hour?”

“Funny you mention that.” A low-pitched chuckle filled Flash’s ears. He sat on his bed and looked around. There was nobody in sight. His bedroom looked just the same as usual – his guitar was hidden in its case, none of the posters on the walls was missing (he was quite proud of them, especially the one with Spitfire wearing something that wasn’t bigger than a napkin), and there were no aliens around. For a moment Flash thought about that weird videotape he’d watched last week and looked at the floor. Nothing. He then looked under his bed, expecting a killer clown. All he found were some used tissues.

Wincing, Flash sat back on his bed. “Who are you?” he asked. “God?”

“In some sense,” the voice replied. “I have something to tell you, Flash Sentry.”

“I’m not going to build any boat,” Flash said. “Go and flood some other place…”

The owner of the disembodied voice sighed. “I don’t do that anymore,” he said. “I came here to tell you that the world is going to end soon and you’re the only person who can prevent that…”

Flash felt that his throat was dry. “Why? What happened?” he asked.

“It wouldn’t happen if you weren’t an idiot, Flash Sentry. Remember what happened during the Battle of the Bands afterparty under the scene?”

Flash scratched his head. His memories from the afterparty were rather hazy, partially because of the Dazzlings and partially because of too much spiked punch. He, however, did remember going under the stage with…

“Twilight Sparkle!” Flash Sentry exclaimed. “What happened to her?”

“Exactly, Flash Sentry. Twilight Sparkle.” The voice was slow and clear, sounding like a prosecutor listing the reasons why the convict should be fried on an electric chair. “Or, more exactly, Twilight Sparkle from another dimension.”

“What?”

“From another dimension. Dr. Whooves teaches you physics, doesn’t he? She’s from another dimension and you knocked her up before she came back there.”

Flash’s eyes widened. “D-does it mean that I’ll have to pay child support?” he asked. “Does it even work, umm… interdimensionally?”

Flash could swear that the owner of the voice facepalmed. “No, you idiot,” the voice said. “She’ll have a child in her world, while her counterpart from here won’t. You destroyed the delicate balance of the multiverse! Do you know what will happen now?”

“My counterpart from her universe will be screwed?” Flash asked.

“No, you fool!” the voice exclaimed. “The very balance of the multiverse was destroyed, can your puny, human brain comprehend that? We all will be screwed!”

“Oh…” Flash muttered. “Umm… I’m sorry?”

He felt cold wind blowing on him even though the window was closed. “There’s a way to prevent that, Flash Sentry…” the ominous voice said. “You have to find the Twilight Sparkle from this world and knock her up too. Else, the universe may explode with the intensity of a thousand suns. Got it?”

“Wait!” Flash exclaimed. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“When two mortals love each other very…”

“I know that part!” Flash threw panicked looks around. “I mean… I’ll have to find her… And ask her out…”

“Tell her to close her eyes and think of the universe,” the voice said. “And boy, she’ll need it…”

On the next day, Flash stood in front of his locker and banged against its door. He spent most of the morning trying to find anybody called Twilight Sparkle who wasn’t currently in, as Rarity told him, another town, or as the disembodied voice told him, in another dimension. Even a quick search on the internet told him nothing. If he only knew where to look for her… He went out of the school and sat on the pedestal of the horse monument in front of it.

“How am I supposed to do that?” he muttered to himself. “Not to mention that I don’t want to be the father…”

“There’s a solution to that,” a monotone voice below him said. “A glass of water instead.”

Flash nearly fell off the pedestal, seeing Maud Pie standing next to it and staring at him without blinking. He jumped off the monument and stood next to her.

She looked at him with an expression that could, but not necessarily indicated a mild interest. It was, in fact, no different than her usual expression. Flash suspected that deep inside, Maud was laughing her ass off observing the puny Earthlings and waiting for a mothership to come and take her and her sister Pinkie back to their home planet.

Meanwhile, the ship still didn’t come back and Maud recently gained some notoriety after she became a double bass player in a horror punk and psychobilly band Tootsie Flute and The Zombons. Flash had attended their first show which had been interrupted after a few spectators passed out due to being allergic to Kensington gore. Flash had to carry Rarity out of the club – she was allergic to bad fashion.

“Hello, Maud,” Flash said. “Umm… What’s up?”

“Tootsie doesn’t like my lyrics,” Maud said. “She said that they should rhyme.”

Flash smirked, taking a step back. Maud had a talent of violating his personal space even when she was standing far from him. “Maybe she thinks they should rock more,” he said.

Maud looked at him, causing him to shudder. He wasn’t sure if she facepalmed mentally or appreciated the pun, so he decided to wait for the development of the situation. “They are good.” Maud’s stare intensified. “I incorporated horror, just like Tootsie said, and they’re good.” She took a piece of paper from her pocket and read:

Rocks.

You can kill a zombie with a rock.

Rocks are good.

So is blood.

Rocks. And Zombies.

“Umm… yeah, that’s good…” Flash muttered. “But actually, I have a problem, you know…”

“Pinkie has pills for that,” Maud said. “Meet me after school. Cash only.”

“No, it’s a different kind of a problem.” Flash sighed. “Listen Maud… Have you seen Twilight Sparkle?”

“Once. She and Sunset Shimmer were stealing whipped cream from Pinkie’s fridge in the middle of the night,” Maud said. “But Pinkie said that she left.”

“Yeah, I know,” Flash replied, trying not to think about what Twilight and Sunset could do with whipped cream. “But I’m looking for someone who looks like her, just… it’s not her.”

“So, you’re looking for the other Twilight?” Maud asked. “I’ve met her once. We played poker in a casino.”

Flash thought about that one time when he played poker with Maud. On the next day he had to visit his therapist after Maud’s poker face caused him to become paranoid. “Do you know where she lives?” he asked. “I need to talk with her.”

“Sure,” Maud replied. “She hangs out in Three Gems café.”

“Okay, thanks,” Flash said. “See you later, Maud.” He rushed inside the building.

Turning around, Maud smirked. The grass near the monument started to wither.

Three Gems café was exactly the kind of place Flash expected after learning that Maud liked that place. The patrons were mostly hipsters, beatniks, lunatics, hippies, aliens, or all of the above. Flash ordered horribly overpriced coffee and sat in the corner, watching his surroundings: old movie posters on the walls, a sexy barista, two poets who were about to start a fight over a rhyme, and so on. He looked at his watch. It didn’t seem that the other Twilight would appear there soon.

He finished his coffee and started to wonder whether to buy another one or leave and try again tomorrow, when the door opened and a new patron came in.

Flash nearly choked on the remains of his coffee. She had a bit different hairstyle and she was sporting a pair of black, thick-rimmed glasses, but it was definitely Twilight. She looked at the patrons and walked to the counter.

Flash immediately stood up and approached her, thinking of his previous girlfriends and pick-up lines he’d used. There wasn’t much of it; he barely remembered ending up under the stage with the other Twilight, and in case of Sunset Shimmer it was the other way around: it was her who picked him up, mainly because of her large… personality.

“Hello,” he said to Twilight. “Would you like to drink a coffee with me?”

She looked at him from under half-closed eyelids. “Who are you?” she asked.

“Flash… Flash Sentry,” he replied, blushing. “I was just… sitting here and I thought that…”

Twilight sighed. “You’re wasting your time.”

“How can you know?” Flash asked. “We’ve barely met.”

“I’m still telling you that you’re wasting your time,” Twilight replied. She, however, didn’t protest when Flash paid for her coffee and bought himself another one. She even sat at the table with him.

“So… What’s your name?” Flash asked.

“Twilight,” she replied. “I’m an astrophysicist. How about you?”

“Well… I play guitar… I study…” Flash muttered.

Twilight sighed and took a sip of her coffee. “Are you a student of Canterlot High?” she asked.

“Y-yes,” Flash replied. “Why are you asking?”

“Interesting…” Twilight muttered to herself. “Another perspective…”

“What?” Flash nearly choked on his coffee. For some reason, that Twilight was only a bit less creepy than Maud.

“Nothing,” Twilight replied. “I was just thinking… Strange things happen in that school recently…”

“Yeah,” Flash said. “There’s that girl, Maud Pie…”

“I lost almost all my money because of that bitch…” Twilight groaned. “I still can’t figure her out. But she’s not the strangest thing I’ve encountered…”

“No?” Flash asked. “By the way, I played poker with her too… It didn’t end well…”

“I’m sure of that. Those rainbows… Sudden power outages… Even I felt something different recently, when I met…”

“Who?” Flash asked.

“You won’t understand.” Twilight drank the rest of her coffee. “It’s like… I’ve never had friends, okay? And now…”

“I can be your friend,” Flash said.

“Why? I already have one.”

“B-but I can be, umm… You see, when you came here, I felt something like…” Flash blushed, seeing that Twilight’s expression remained unchanged.

“I felt that too, once, when I was younger,” Twilight said. “It disappeared when I started to… Hmm, I don’t know why people use euphemisms, while the word ‘masturbation’ is a good, scientific term. And now I don’t even have to do that…”

“Why?” Flash asked before he realised that there are things one shouldn’t ask soon-to-be mother of his child.

“As I said, you’re wasting your time,” Twilight said. “There’s already somebody in my life. But we can still be friends, Flash.” She put her cup back on the table and stood up. “Thanks for the coffee.”

Flash sat on the ground and rested himself against the tree. He’d just spent an hour in the forest, yelling obscenities to the whole world. The universe was doomed because of him and the only way to avoid that was blocked because Twilight friendzoned him. Or rather, he friendzoned himself what was even worse.

He got up and walked to his car slowly. Suddenly, his phone started to vibrate. He took it out of his pocket and saw a message from Sunset Shimmer. Thinking that this day couldn’t get any worse, he opened it.

Can u come to my place? Need ur help. CU L8R

He hit “reply” and wrote “kk, m8” before getting back into his car. His day didn’t get any better but, on the other hand, it didn’t get worse. Still, visiting Sunset Shimmer could give various results, from having to comfort her to being thrown down the flight of stairs.

There was only one way to find out. Flash turned on the engine.

Flash knocked on the door of Sunset Shimmer’s flat and gulped. On his way, he suddenly felt he didn’t want to be there. Part of him hoped that Sunset was away, not needing his help anymore. He knocked once again and took a step backwards, ready to run away at any moment.

“Come in!” he heard Sunset’s voice coming from the flat. “It’s open!”

Flash sighed and pushed the door open. The interior of Sunset’s house was bright and neat, but he still couldn’t calm down. He sat on the sofa, thinking about times when he was sixteen and, together with his then-girlfriend and her friends, a bunch of vegans and hipsters, they broke into a chicken farm. He’d thrown up twice: first time because of the smell and second time when he saw a dead chicken. Then he nearly suffocated – it turned out that he was allergic to feathers – and ended up being shot in the rear by the farm owner. No wonder his then-girlfriend soon became his ex-girlfriend.

He sat on the sofa, listing to the sound of splashing water coming from the bathroom. He shuddered – Sunset’s flat, despite its comfortableness, was invoking in him the same feelings like the dark interior of the chicken farm. At least the sofa was soft – since after their chicken farm raid the police was looking for them, his then-girlfriend brought him to Fluttershy who removed the buckshot from his ass with tweezers and a pocket knife. Even the thought about it hurt.

The sound of the rustling water silenced. Flash heard Sunset’s silent steps on the floor of the bathroom and braced himself mentally for what he was about to see. The process included gritting his teeth and hitting himself in the crotch.

After a few more minutes when Sunset was, judging by the sounds, wiping herself with towels, the door to the bathroom opened and Sunset walked to Flash who wasn’t surprised, seeing that she was naked. For Sunset, bathrobes, housecoats, or even towels used to cover the most strategic parts were something happening to the others.

“Hello,” Sunset said, walking into the living room, her feet leaving wet traces on the floor. Flash was too busy thinking about how tight his pants suddenly got to reply. “Hello!” Sunset shouted, coming closer to him. Her long hair were covering her nipples, but still, from the sofa he was sitting on, Flash had a better view on her than he wanted. He started to breathe deeply, trying not to stare into any abyss, even the one adorned with a small tuft of red hair just above it. The abyss wasn’t going to stare back, but Sunset certainly would.

“Oh, come on…” Sunset muttered. “You’ve seen me like that so many times before… What’s your issue, Flash?”

“Well, I’d feel more comfortable if you were, umm… a bit more dressed?” Flash spoke, watching the especially interesting board on the floor.

Sunset shook her head. “You have to be more open-minded, Flash. Where I come from, we don’t usually wear clothes.”

“I didn’t know you were from Europe…”

Sunset sighed. “Anyway, I have to get my battle dress ready… And that’s why I need you.” She walked to the chest of drawers and bent over, opening one of them. The view almost caused Flash to choke on his saliva. He wasn’t a great astronomer, but he heard that the Sun had a dark side. Or maybe it was the Moon? He tried to focus on this, but it was hard with the dark side of Sunset only few feet from him.

“Which of those will be better?” Sunset asked, turning back to Flash with a pair of purple thongs in one hand and a pair of cerulean boyshorts in the other. “Which of them you would like better if we were still together?”

“Umm…” Flash started to think really fast. “I think those will be better…” He pointed at the boyshorts.

Sunset examined the boyshorts. “You’re right…” she muttered. “They cover more… A mystery…” She looked down at her body and stroked her breast. “The world needs more people like you, Flash.”

“What?” Flash asked. He was currently busy trying to imagine something that wouldn’t cause his underwear to tear to pieces. For some reason, even dead chickens didn’t work. “People like me?”

“Repressed guys,” Sunset replied. “What fun would it be in walking around naked if there weren’t people shocked by this?” She patted her crotch and put the boyshorts on. “Okay, now something special…”

Flash watched, dumbfounded, as Sunset opened another drawer and took a pair of stockings from it, complete with garter belt. She put it around her waist and clipped the suspenders to the stockings. She was now more dressed than before but, for some reason, it didn’t help much. Guessing from where most of his blood was now, Flash deduced that now Sunset looked even more lewd than when she was naked.

Finally, Sunset found a bra matching her panties and put it on, saying, “Sorry girls, prison time…” before fastening it. Then she put on a short (in Flash’s opinion a bit too short) skirt and a lavender top.

Flash, feeling that his pants weren’t now going to catch fire, looked at Sunset. “You brought me here to ask me which panties to choose?” he asked. “And who are you dressing yourself like that for?”

“Why not?” Sunset asked. “I always thought your choices were perfect… Also, do I need to wear those for somebody?” She lifted her skirt, exposing Flash to a direct contact with suspenders of her stockings on her perfect thighs.

“Well…” Flash muttered, trying to ignore the view. “I’ve made some bad choices recently and now I’m in trouble…”

“Oh…” Sunset sat on the sofa next to him and patted his head. “Mafia’s chasing you? Or maybe parents of some girl you knocked up?” She went silent, seeing Flash’s expression. “You don’t have to tell me. You can stay here as long as you want.”

“Thanks,” Flash said. “But I don’t think it’s gonna be necessary. But… I need an advice.”

“An advice?” Sunset asked. “It’s easy. Take matters in your own hands and face the danger. Did it help?”

Flash nodded. “Yeah… I think I have an idea…”

Flash got out of his car and looked around. It took him a while before he found the other Twilight’s address – he spent way too many bits for coffee he drank while asking the patrons of Three Gems if they knew it. Now, clad in black turtleneck and black trousers, he was ready for action, standing in the middle of the dark backyard.

Take matters in your own hands and face the danger.

He smiled, thinking of Sunset Shimmer. After he’d left her house, he went to the pharmacy and bought a syringe. After spending five minutes in the toilet, imagining how good Sunset Shimmer looked wearing nothing but panties and stockings, the syringe was armed. It was lying safely in his pocket, but he knew that soon he’d have to use it.

He approached the block of flats only to find out that the door was closed. He cursed under his breath and reached for his credit card. It looked so easy on a TV… Normally, he’d just push all the buttons on the entry phone, but he didn’t want to wake Twilight up.

Opening the door with a credit card was a bit harder than he thought. After spending ten minutes trying to do that, he groaned and hit the door with his fist. To his surprise, the door opened.

He looked at the lock unsurely, shrugged and started to climb upstairs. According to Flash’s informer, Twilight lived on the fourth floor. He found the right door and tried the trick with the credit card again. This time, the door opened almost immediately – probably since it wasn’t closed in the first place. Trying to be as silent as possible, Flash entered the dark house. He looked around and opened some door. It turned out to be bathroom, luckily empty.

Flash took a deep breath and, hoping that there wasn’t anything he could trip over on the floor, he walked to another door. He gently pushed it open. Bingo! he thought.

He noticed that it’d be easier than he thought. The girl lying in the middle of the large bed standing in a messy room was naked; she’d pulled the blanket over her head, revealing the bits Flash Sentry needed. He walked to the bed, almost tripping over a stocking, kneeled next it and took the syringe out of his pocket. He felt a pang of guilt; what he was about to do was definitely bad, but he had to save the universe. Not to mention that he smeared the syringe with vaseline to make it easier.

He lifted his hand, trying to aim exactly. He was about to lower it, when the girl moved. Flash froze. The girl raised her head, surrounded by a mass of messy hair. “Twiley?” she muttered groggily.

Flash gulped. The girl on the bed definitely wasn’t Twilight. In the darkness he not only didn’t notice the colour of her skin, but also forgot that he’d seen the tuft of hair between her legs earlier that day.

Sunset Shimmer’s eyes fixed on Flash and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. “Aaaaargh!” she screamed, kicking Flash’s hand.

Before Flash could react, he heard somebody moving behind him. “Spike, get him!” he heard before a small, purple ball of fury and teeth sunk its fangs in his ankle. He stood up, trying to shake the dog off his leg and turned around to face Twilight. She was wearing nothing but a lab coat and she had a baseball bat in her hands. The fire was raging in her eyes.

“I can explain!” he yelled.

“Talk to the bat,” Twilight replied, swinging the bat at him. The world around Flash exploded and then it got even darker than before.

“Is he alive?”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Who’s he?”

“My ex. What’s he doing here?”

“No idea. He looks like this guy who bought me a coffee today. What did he have in that syringe?”

“Let’s see… Eww! Twiley, can you hit him once more?”

“For you everything, Bacon-hair.”

“Bacon-hair?” Flash muttered, opening his eyes. A moment later, a well-placed hit to the stomach caused him to curl into a foetal position.

“Don’t beat me!” he exclaimed. “I can explain everything…”

“You’ll have a lot of explaining to do,” Twilight said. “I went to the kitchen to grab something to eat and when I’m back, my girlfriend’s ex is standing above her with a syringe full of his DNA, ready to inseminate her.”

“I didn’t want to inseminate her…” Flash muttered. “I wanted to inseminate y–“ He paused, realising that telling that to an angry woman with a baseball bat wouldn’t improve his situation.

“Who?” Twilight asked. “Tell me, before I defenestrate you, creep…”

“Umm… You see…” He told them about the disembodied voice and about Twilight from another dimension. Twilight was listening to him curiously. At some point, she brought a notebook with her and started to write something in it. Sunset Shimmer only looked at Flash. She was wrapped in a bed cloth, probably for warmth rather than because of modesty.

“Okay.” Twilight nodded when Flash finished his story. “Bacon-hair, don’t call the cops. Call the shrinks.”

Sunset Shimmer, however, didn’t move. “He might be right,” she said. “There really is Twilight who lives in a world of colourful ponies. She’s visited this world twice. All those weird things happening in Canterlot High… It was her and her friends saving the world from the sirens and from… a certain demon…”

“How do you know that?” Twilight asked, looking at Sunset and Flash unsurely.

“Umm…” Sunset blushed. “You see… I’m a pony too…”

Twilight’s hand connected with her forehead. “I have an explanation… You were all taking some mushrooms recently, weren’t you? A pony? Prove it.”

“There’s a portal in the horse statue in front of Canterlot High. I will show you that I’m a pony, if you give me a guitar. When I play, my ears grow and–“

“And they are like pony ears?” Twilight smirked. “We’ll have to try that one day… But still, there’s other me!” She grabbed Sunset’s bed cloth. “Sunset Shimmer, are you using me as a substitute of that other Twilight you can’t have?”

“N-no, of course not…” Sunset Shimmer muttered. “I… I really think that you’re great and–“

“Good,” Twilight said and planted a kiss on Sunset’s forehead. “My little bacon-haired pony… Who can make me come so hard that probably all the alternative Twilights in other dimensions felt it…”

“Umm…” Flash looked in horror at Twilight starting to make out with Sunset. “Maybe I’ll go home…”

“Wait!” Twilight exclaimed. “Do you think I’ll just let you go home after what you were trying to do?”

“Hmm… Well, we still have the universe to save… Ouch!” Flash groaned when the baseball bat landed on his knee. “That was unnecessary…”

“You wanted to knock me up in order to save the universe. Without asking,” Twilight said. “So don’t tell me what’s necessary and what’s not…”

“W-we still have to…”

“Flash, seriously…” Sunset said, grabbing Twilight’s hand before she managed to hit Flash again. “How often do you believe disembodied voices who speak to you in the middle of the night?”

“Are you willing to take a risk?” Flash asked.

“I don’t have to,” Sunset said. “I’ll just write a letter to Twilight from the other world.”

“Can you do that?” Twilight asked. “I really hope she’s not pregnant with you. No offense, but your genes shouldn’t be passed further… In none of the worlds.”

“None taken,” Flash replied. He felt mildly offended, but Twilight still had her baseball bat.

“Okay,” Sunset said, getting up. “I’ll drive to my house to get the book. Meanwhile, try not to kill each other, please.”

“Okay,” Twilight replied. “And, Bacon-hair…”

“Yes?”

“Put some clothes on. I don’t know how about ponies, but here driving naked is rather frowned upon…”

Flash was sitting in the corner of Twilight’s bedroom. Spike was glaring at him angrily, barking from time to time. Twilight was sitting on her bed, making some notes and doing her best to ignore Flash.

“What’ll happen if we’ll have to… You know?” Flash asked.

“Don’t think you’ll get a ride…” Twilight muttered. “It’ll be a syringe again.”

“Oh…”

“We can make out in front of you if it makes things any easier.” Twilight didn’t even raise her head from her notes.

“And what about the baby?” Flash asked.

“You’ll be taking care of it. I’d probably feed it to Spike… accidentally.”

“You’re different than the other Twilight. She’s more… friendly.”

“Meh.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “The fate of the universe doesn’t depend of me making friends. The fate of the universe apparently depends of me getting knocked up by some imbecile.”

“You know… I don’t want it too…” Flash said. “I can see that you and Sunset are pretty happy together…”

“Yeah, Sunset…” Twilight smirked. “Funny, isn’t it? She’s a pony… And there’s apparently a pony me… I wonder how’s she like. Would it cause the universe to explode if I met her?”

“I have no idea…” Flash muttered. “After all, I’m just some imbecile…”

“I’ve seen worse,” Twilight said.

“Seriously?”

“You bought me a coffee.” Twilight smiled and blushed.

The door opened. “I’m back!” Sunset Shimmer exclaimed.

“Do I have to… you know?” Flash asked. When Sunset entered the bedroom, he saw that she could barely contain laughter. “What’s going on?”

“Exactly, what’s up?” Twilight asked.

Instead of saying anything, Sunset gave them a book she was holding. Flash sat next to Twilight and together they read:

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

I’m fine, thanks for asking. No, I’m not pregnant and I’m not planning to be in a nearby future. This world’s Flash Sentry is in the Crystal Empire and I haven’t seen him in months. Also, tell your Flash Sentry that a ~~mare~~ girl can’t get pregnant during ~~anal~~ sex with proper protection, not to mention that he was too drunk to keep it up, ~~to my great disappointment~~.

I’m sorry if I sound rude, an hour before I got this letter from you I woke up feeling that something strange was happening with my body. It was rather pleasant and for a moment I thought I saw your face. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. It’s interesting that you wrote to me on the same night, isn’t it?

Once again, the universe is definitely safe and sound. Tell Flash to not believe in things the voices tell him. Also, tell him that I hope next time we meet we’ll both have less punch in our systems. Looking forward to it.

Your friend,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.

PS: What were you doing in the other me’s bedroom in the middle of the night?
Twilight.

“I’m a princess?” Twilight asked. “Cool… And man, she’s a keeper…”

“Yeah…” Flash muttered, his face bright red. “How about not speaking about all of this again? I’ll just go home and we’ll forget about everything.”

“Okay…” Twilight muttered. “But you, Bacon-hair…” She pulled Sunset Shimmer into a tight hug. “You’ll tell me everything about those ponies… And I want to write a letter to the other me… I’ll get a Nobel prize!”

Flash shook his head and left their flat. I wonder who told me about that multiverse stuff… he thought, walking downstairs.

“He leaves,” Maud Pie announced in her dull voice, watching Flash through the binoculars. “He’s still alive, Discord. Give me my ten bucks.”

The grey-haired janitor sitting on the driver’s seat cursed under his breath and reached for his wallet, brown with “Master of Chaos” written on it. “That’s not fair,” he said. “We don’t know if he had sex with them.”

“If he did, he’d stay till the morning,” Maud replied. “At least that’s what Pinkie says.”

“So you’ll have to give me ten bucks too,” Discord said. “We also made a bet about that, remember?” he suddenly appeared on the other side of Maud. Maud didn’t react; she was so used to her sister blatantly defying the laws of physics that Discord didn’t impress her. She reached for her rock-shaped wallet and gave him ten dollars in silver, blood-stained coins. For a moment, they were sitting in silence.

“So, what our next bet will be about?” Discord asked.

“How about Pinkie surviving a week without laughing gas from all those whipped cream containers?” Maud asked. “She can do that.”

“No way.” Discord chuckled. “She’s high on laughing gas constantly!”

“That’s why she’ll survive. She has reserves,” Maud explained without batting an eyelid. “Did you remove speakers from this guy’s bedroom?”

“Yes,” Discord replied. “And if Pinkie doesn’t start to talk with rocks by the end of the week, I’ll give you fifty bucks… Works for you?”

“Sure,” Maud replied. Discord smiled and turned on the engine of his car.