Granpappy 7: Revenge of the Swimmingly ft. Nicholas Cage as Jaden Smith

by Granpappy

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 1067

Granpappy lives in a poo smeared upper new your apartment. He stabs a Genie and gets transported to the ethereal realm where he must steal a deep fryer from the two most powerful beings in Equestria.

Granpappy thought he had it all. A nice Fimfiction account, a beautiful wife, two lovely kids. But then his life changed when he got turned into gold. He wakes up after three days as a statue to find that his wife has left him and taken all his money. Now, his last chance at redemption is to find a deep fryer, belonging to the two most powerful beings in Equestria.

Hey yo this was a collab between me and swimmingly. Go and check him out I'm better than him in every way

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/King+of+the+Swimmingly

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-22 23:29:28 UTC

Doodle Pricess

There was this nice town called Ponyville and it was nice and a town, it was also a village with ponies. There were ponies in it and it was really nice like ten out of ten quality on the nice scale. Nice Town was idyllic, with large _white_ picket fences surrounding each house, keeping out undesirables (not that there were any!). In this town lived Scootaloo, and across the road and down the street from Scootaloo, after you take the first left you then take a right at broken mailbox and you'll see a small decrepit upper New York  apartment with poo smears dipping from the window, allowing no view into what could only be described as poophell.

In this apartment lived an old grey stallion, is withered cutey mark showed what once may have been a plate of spaghetti enveloped by a love heart. Also there was some dude that like delivered spaghetti to him and in return Granpappy would furiously bugger him.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo got rocks thrown at her because she was Jewish. Jewtaloo-Jew was all like nah and she flew away, and by flying I mean walking because she's a pathetic waste of a pony life as she is unable to fly(what a nerd). When she made it back to her hole she noticed that things were different from when she left instead of it a being a whole filled with her own piss and shit it was a hole filled with other ponies piss and shit. Scootaloo picked up a disembodied member from the pile of gore.

"Man, I wish I was big enough to crush my enemies beneath the heel of my boot." Said Scootaloo, dreaming into the distance, whilst rubbing the member.

"YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND." Said a disembodied voice.

"What the buck, you bucking cunt."

Suddenly as if by magic a large cloud of Chlorine Gas spewed forth from the member. Soon enough it had gathered into one place and began to merge. scootaloo watched in awe as it took on the form of a wardrobe with a flowing blond mane.

"Oi I am not a bucking cunt l will fuck you to death you little ass whore I'll bet your loose ass asshole can't even fit me in your ass" the jizzni bellowed in arousal.

"Just because I am Jewish does mean I am an ass whore," she said ass anal beads slid out of ass,"fuck you you poopy man!"

Meanwhile Granpappy heard the sound of both ass and cock in the same sentence so he teleported to the source of those rapturous words.

"Oi don't fuck me with your body cock man." said Scootaloo.

Granpappy saw his chance so he dove ass first in front of the jizzni and he ended up skewered all the way through but he didn't care.

"Aaaaaaaaaargh you are not Jewish I cannot even deal with racism!" Bellowed the Jizzni in arousal.

Suddenly as if by magic swimmingly teleported in an was all like tsk. Granpappy tried to be all like tsk but Swimmingly punched him in the cutie mark and he projectile vomited into Scootaloo's face, causing her to cry.

"You failed the simulation Granpappy you horrible failure of life go kill yourself please." Swimmingly mused to itself out loud.

The Jizzni was still annihilating Granpappy's veteran asshole, He came and blacked out. Scootaloo watched as Granpappy exploded into a flock of Fairies who drink to forget their sorrows and their parents abuse. The fairies flew into the air towards the east.

"What the buck was that?" Queried Scootaloo.

"Shut the fuck up you dried up whore," comforted Swimmingly, as she skinned the population of a special school and orphanage.

"Okey Dokey, boss," Said Scootaloo-Jew in hidden arousal, "but shouldn't we find the weird fairy poop man?"

"Whatever, you cancerous growth," groaned Swimmingly.

Scootaloo got ready to fly, and jumped, but then remembered that she couldn't because she's a waste of pony life. Swimmingly looked at Scootaloo with a gaze that said 'you massive faggot' and punched her in the jaw, snapping her urethra in two. Scootaloo woke up bound and gagged. She was hanging fro. The ceiling with her legs behind her ears. She looked to the left and saw Granpappy, who appeared to be having the time of his life.

Swimmingly took this an opportunity to advertise her new product, the inflatable renboo doll.

"Ooh." Said her captives. As they were spit roasted over an open ice.

"Gee wiz I sure wish could feel my urethra." cried jewtaloo in sheer ecstasy.

"Learn to cope, you shit cunt." Cooed Swimmingly.

"Nah I right" the grieving protester grieved in protest, she then proceeded to to jump inside the inflatable renboo thus giving it sentience.

Jewtaboo-dash-Jew went to seek out adventure in the form of candy stored underneath rocks.

"Well, looks like it's just you and me." cried Granpappy as spaghetti strained against the ball gag in his mouth.

Swimmingly slapped Granpappy in the mouth causing him to explode. Swimmingly then proceeded to bring him back to life.

"Baaaaah I've been practicing I can do this no-" he slipped over anal spaghetti and died.

Swimmingly begrudgingly revived him for the fifty millionth time, whilst summoning a Swedish underwear model to pleasure the purple Entity/god. Granpappy stood back up, careful not to slip on the spaghetti and bones strewed across the marble flooring. He prepare to speak but then a rock fell from the heavens and crushed Granpappy.

"Oh you!" Said swimmingly rolling her eyes, causing god to blush.

Swimmingly bought Granpappy back to life for the fifty million and first time, and Granpappy got a chance to speak.

"So can we go on an adventure or something?" Queried the swishy pile of homosexuality.

"N/A" said no one.

Swimmingly assaulted Granpappy's feeble mind with images of it's dark intentions. Granpappy saw the most horrible and gorgeous images, as he slowly moved towards a light in the distance. As he got closer to the image, it slowly got clearer as he approached, and revield the image of a large deep fryer from the eighties...

Meanwhile, Pinkie pie was hanging off a cliff. Whilst tied up on a train tracks. Attached to a bomb. Sitting in a shit. Whilst getting a car wash. Whilst shitting. Whilst in a burning nunnery. Whi...................

Tune in next week to find the shocking conclusion to doodle effigy.