Author's Note
Yay!
Some are going to say this idea Belongs to BeWhoUr.
And yes you are 100% correct I was able to get permission to continue with the fic and am so glad I got it.
I wanted this fic to push on since I read it idk why but I got a good vibe from it, So with that I'm giving it my all to continue and complete this fic with my own vision.
This first chapter belongs to BeWhoUr I loved it so much I really didn't change much about it, though I did add an opening sequence .
Anyway I wish to give Credit to this First Chapter to BeWhoUr.
Also I want to give a Authors Credit to BeWhoUr for allowing me to continue on as well as for laying down the foundation for what is to come.
Am I Going Insane?
Twilight Sparkle.
What can I say about that mare?
She's friendly, outgoing, lovely, perfect, and just the best damn thing to ever grace the land of Equestria!!!
That's what you wanted to hear is it not?
I'm just giving you what you wanted.
But if you can handle it.
I might just be able to tell you the truth about the real Ms. Sparkle.
Those violet hues judging all those around her.
As if she knows everything.
As if she never made a mistake!!
Her little world depended on the fact she could keep everything in control.
Placed on little lists, to be checked off accordingly.
Not once being able to live in the moment.
Having to leech off other's lives to find something to keep her going.
Hell if it was just her in the world, she'd never have been able to accomplish a single thing.
Lists and Checks.
Lists and Checks.
Can you even call that a life?
Anyway picture the surprise on her face, when she spots me just hanging around her place on that night.
Shattered her little world.
Like I cared, I was more surprised that she even remembered who I was.
I knew breaking in to see her that night, would just throw her little world into the grinder.
It was beyond her control.
She didn't make the rules.
I did.
And it felt great.
Now we're both on the same playing feild.
Twilight you know i'm going to find you...
We still need to talk.
I'm here because of you.
And I'm not leaving until I get even.
Remember those words...
Remember Me.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
I wake up to the ticking of a clock. Strange, I don't keep a clock. Most ponies do, and honestly, I don't get it. But I do guess I have an oddly accurate sense of time. So really, why ever would I need a clock?
My head burns like a wildfire and I can't remember the last few hours. I know I should be horribly tired now yet somehow I feel dreadfully awake. I wonder where I am? I'm certainly not on my comfy bed at home, because there is only a hard floor beneath me.
I blink an eye open, feeling woozy and I immediately gasp in shock. I'm not in my room. I'm not in Ponyville. Am I even in Equestria? Does a place this.. desolate even exist in Equestria? For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no idea where I am. All I know...
Is that everything is a bright, clean white. And wherever I am, I'm alone. Now, if you had asked me what I would do if I was alone a couple years ago, I would have said read. Now, I'm thinking leave and get back to my friends.
But that's the thing. There are no doors. No windows, no furniture. Nothing. Just me, a medium sized white room and a clock. Its ticking continues to ring in my ears as I flick an ear and stand up shakily. Though I feel dizzy and dehydrated, as the world spins around me I do my best to focus and take my surroundings in for a second time. There is no clear way out. Its just me. I'm alone here.
And I don't like it. Because it brings me the only thing that I have learned to fear- solitude. With the help of my friends, I defeated Nightmare moon, Discord, the changelings, found the reverse incantation to a spell that made my friends have a drastic change in their lives and defeated Tirek and Sombra. But what have I done alone? Nothing. That's what. At least, it seems like it. I mean, the things that I've done by myself are small compared to the things I've done with my best friends by my side. This thought in my head, I take a shaky breath and begin to walk around. No particular place, just walk.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
The ticking of the clock follows me as a pace the room, sweat on my face and a worried look accompanying it. I glare at the device on the wall, seeing that just a couple minutes, adding up to the sum of around a half hour, have taken place since I woke up. I have so many questions. Why am I here? How do I get out? Can I get out without the help of my friends? I don't know the answer. But for them, for me...
I have to try.
"OK Twilight, don't panic. You can do this. Lets see... are the walls unstable?" I raise my head to shoot a beam of powerful magic at the south wall, (I think it's the south wall, I'm not exactly sure,) only to find, with some shock, that my horn is defective. Negative. Totally useless.
I gulp, my eyes narrowing. I want to scream, but when I open my mouth and take a breath, I hear no sound. I begin pacing frantically, but no hoof prints are left on the floor. I curl up in a ball, shaking frantically. I'm never going to get out of here, to my friends and the real world. I'm going to be stuck here forever.
In this world. With nothing but me and the clock. I lay my head on my hooves in defeat. Its almost as if the ticking of the clock was draining my patience, focus, and energy. But suddenly, something goes off in my head. There is no possible way that I could be in a place with no escape. I was in here, with no doors or windows. But there still had to be a world outside of this box, right? I look around. There's only one place that I see that could be a clear, easy escape.
"The clock!" I race over to the clock and, with a sureness in my step, reach out a foreleg and shatter the face. Behind it is a dark tunnel.
"Well. Here goes nothing." I say voice quivering before I slide into the abyss before me.
Honestly, I'm glad to have the dreadful ticking out of my ears. But I don't particularly like the feeling of being in a dark, damp tunnel. It's quite a change from the bright white full of nothingness. And yet I can't tell if its better, or worse. Seeing as my horn doesn't work, I'm in total darkness. And that doesn't help when you're trying to navigate a tunnel.
It's a tight fit for me, but I'm determined. At least there aren't any turns, if there were I'd probably be doomed. I feel as if the tunnel is going to collapse on top of me any second. How long have I been traveling now? It seems like hours, though in my mind I know its only been a couple minutes. Now that I'm getting closer to the outside world, (or at least I think I am.) I can feel my magic and my senses are returning. And because of this, I feel awfully tired.
I snap to awareness from the close call. If I fall asleep under here, I may never get out. So I take a deep breath and keep moving. I feel some water drip on my muzzle. Its getting damper, that's a good sign. It means that I'm getting closer to the outside. It also, however, means that I have a greater chance of being squished. If the loose soil around me decides to give way.
I shrug off the thought and keep moving. Suddenly, I see a choice to make in front of me. One path is straight. One is curvy. According to logic, the straight one would be the fastest way out of the tunnel. But I don't know if logic is present here- wherever I am. I take a deep breath a begin to turn towards the curved path. As I crawl down it, I recall why I got out in the first place- I wanted my friends.
I NEEDED my friends. And all though I had found a way out without their help, if it weren't for the thought of maybe never seeing them again, I may have died in there. And I knew then deep inside my soul I must choose the curvy path, because friendship isn't a straight line. It curves, bends, sometimes even seems like it will stop, and its varied. But it keeps going. I smell fresh air ahead of me, I can almost see the light of the starry night sky.
" I'm coming home." I spoke aloud voice cracking softly.
Thoughts of what was to come filling my troubled mind.
Silence never used to bother you.
You welcomed the emptiness around you, as you would an long time friend.
What's wrong?
Did you not enjoy seeing a old friend after so long?
Rudely paceing about.
Talking to yourself.
About yourself no less.
Selfish is what you are.
You care about nothing but yourself.
You claim to care about those around you, but if they can't offer you something you can use.
You simply leave them.
Your time is not worth the worthless.
But that alone is Princess material apparently...
You may have made it out from your past.
The emptiness you could see was simply what your heart felt in the begining.
The only true thing you loved back then was time.
How you could use it.
Spend it.
And even hold on to every last little second.
Time was slipping away and you just had to beat the clock to the end.
If it had beaten you...
You would have seen just how much time you wasted trying to make a name for yourself.
And how much the world turned its back on you.
I know this feeling by heart.
The clock beat me.
And as my last seconds slipped away.
I asked.
What made you so special?
But back on topic now!
You know deep inside you're selfish yet will never admit to it.
He knows I'm right.
He does everything in his power to make you happy, yet you care so little about him you never take that precious time of yours to check in on him.
He has dream's.
Fear's.
Even a life.
I could prattle on all day.
But I'll let him do the talking now.
He's waiting for you Twilight...
And he's bringing your worst fear's with him.
The light ahead had began to get brighter and brighter. I lifted a hoof the best I could within the damp confined tunnel to shield my eyes from the shimmering rays ahead. My body felt so cold and wet I knew my coat was in disarray with the filth of this horrible place.
The way out became lost in a sea of white as all I could do was tense up my muscles and wait for what was to come. It would have been too easy to allow me such a simple way out, I felt my heart sinking deeper and deeper into my chest whilst tears formed in my eyes. The light around my small frame engulfed me such as a raging fire would.
But instead of finding peace within its calm light I only felt fear, Would I ever be able to see my friend's again?
Did they know I was gone now or did I just vanish spirited away from existence?
I shut my eyes tightly my breathing becoming shallow as the darkness of my mind gave me a small reprise from the blinding light.
Where would it take me to next?, and would I be able to find my way out once more?
Silence filled the air around me as I flicked a ear gently sensing that the light had faded away, and with it took the tunnel as I could no longer feel the cold soil beneath my hooves nor hear the soft drumming of the condensation around me. Opening my eyes I felt shocked at what I saw, I was back in my old room within the library.
But this was impossible Tirek had destroyed this place when raging across Equestria., Had it all been a dream? , Was I at long last back home and the nightmare of the room a simple creation of my tired mind?
I failed to even notice I was back in my comfy soft bed, The sheets were cold with sweat from the nightmare but its welcoming outline was a pleasure to see in itself. I gently slid out from under the covers my hoof daintily stepping upon the old wooden floors my heart filling with a sense of joy this was real, a smile spreading across my face.
Trotting over to the door I flipped my mane over my shoulder nonchalantly before using my magic to twist the knob, The wooden frame swinging open with ease only to be met with a terrible sight.
The door lead to nothing but a pure white room before me, a scream escaping my lips as I kicked the door closed with my hoof my frame shivering in horror.
" What's wrong Twilight? " Spike spoke from the floor sleeping in his own make-shift bed gently rubbing the sleep from his bright green hues.
My heart nearly skipped a beat as I used my magic to sweep up my little friend and pull the small dragon into a tight embrace, never did I want to let him go. Spike merely gasped aloud as I squeezed him extra tight his little claws pushing away from me.
" What has gotten into you? " Spike rolled his eyes to me my mane practically frazzled out beyond repair, as I let him go allowing his feet to touch the ground.
" It was The White Room Spike, I was trapped inside it I felt so alone and scared nopony I knew was there just silence and that horrible ticking!! " I screamed at the top of my lungs as my hooves covered my eyes my body starting to shiver once more my heart acheing in sorrow.
" Nopony was there? " Spike asked standing tall his claws wrapped across his chest brow raised in interest.
" Not a soul, I would have done anything to see any of my friends while in there. " I softly wiped a few tears away from my eyes with my hoof, spotting a single candle lit dimly within the dark room its flame swaying almost entranceingly.
" Fluttershy, Pinkie, RD, AJ or even Rarity I wanted to see any of them so badly but couldn't. " I sighed trotting over to the small bedside table within the room sitting down atop the old wooden floor gazing to the candle watching as the hot wax cascaded down the sides slowly.
" I see I wasn't in that list. " Spike sighed aloud dark green eyes gazing down to the floor in a sense of sadness.
My eyes quickly widened out in shock. How could I have not listed Spike in my list of friend's?
I spun around casting him a soft gaze of sadness ears folding down slowly as I knew in my heart I made another mistake.
" Spike I didn't mean to..." I tried to come up with a anwser only to have Spike roll his eyes to me in a spiteful tone.
" That's just it Twilight, You never mean to do anything! " Spike flashed a angry frown stomping his small feet across the floor, walking towards the closed door of the dimly lit room.
" Never once will you even think about taking responsibility for your actions." Spike huffed lifting his claw up slowly taking hold of the bronze doorknob about to give it a small twist.
I felt my heart sink deep into my chest as I struggled to hold back tears from his words, biting down on my lower lip softly mind searching for the right words to speak aloud.
Slowly making my way across the room to the middle ground, I stared over to my friend in silence.
" I've always taken responsibility for my actions!, I just made a small mistake. " I spoke voice quivering as my mouth became so dry suddenly while my heart began to race within my chest wildly.
" Is that so?, then admit you don't really care about me." Spike narrowed those green hues so slowly gazing down to the floor in silence.
" That is not true Spike, I love you. " I spoke taking a small hoofstep closer to him as he looked back up our eyes meeting eachother in the silence of the room.
" You are a good liar Twilight, but face it when inside that room you never once thought of me. " Spike spoke a sense of sureness in his voice like I've never heard before.
I felt the world around me starting to spin as he asked his question, my mind thinking back to that horrible room.
I gently took a hoofstep back now my heart acheing inside my chest as anwsers to say flooded my mind.
" No matter what I do, or how much I try I'm nothing more then a stepping stone to you and everypony else! " Spike snapped his voice lifting higher and higher as I felt myself become faint.
" I always keep my eye on you Spike...." I replied my voice cracking as I spoke.
" Anwser the question Twilight, You never once thought about me! " Spike spoke taking a step towards me his eyes burning like dark hellfire.
" It was so white, I felt alone...." I whimpered losing balance as I toppled over onto the ground with a loud thud the strength of my body leaving me once more, I felt so weak, helpless and vulnerable.
" Tell me you didn't think about me NOW!!! " Spike screamed his eyes burning a dark green hue as the candle of the room went out with a sudden wintery draft entering the room, all around us was being plunged into the abyss once more.
This wasn't my home.
It was hell.
" NO! , I didn't think about you!! " I screamed as I began to sob aloud into my hooves my heart shattering inside my chest cascadeing down into the darkness much like the tears running down my cheeks.
I could sense him towering above me now, I knew if he wished to lash out at me I would understand.
Deep inside I knew I deserved it.
" No, I never thought about you when inside that place. " I opened my eyes staring off to the side tears rolling down my cheeks as I struggled to catch my breath.
" I know that is wrong but the reason is simple, I felt as if I didn't have to worry about you. " I spoke the words coming to me slowly shining brightly through the dark abyss around me.
" You're smart, resourceful and strong Spike. " My voice cracked slightly.
" Everything I wished I was, yet feared to be. " I took a small breath.
" I didn't think about you Spike, because I wasn't worried about you I knew if anything ever happened to me you'd be strong enough to pull ahead and make it in this world. " I felt a lump in my throat appear as I struggled to swallow it.
" I'm so happy you've been able to learn so much from me yet also so sad that I lack the strength you own. " My body shivered from the cold air of the room my body acheing and muscles tense.
" But it is wrong of me not to worry about you, No matter how strong you've become nor how much you've learned, everypony wants to feel as if they are a shining star in the night...." I slowly gazed up towards the ceiling allowing my words to come from the heart.
" And that is something I've failed to show you, For that i'm so sorry. " I closed my eyes feeling the shadows pull me inside their wicked embrace deeper and deeper swallowing me whole, my thoughts falling to all those I loved most true- my little dragon.
I felt a clawed hand suddenly grab my hoof pulling me forward out of the abyss, A smile across my face as my body went limp I could feel his strength lift me high back into the light.
A strength like none other.
The heart of a dragon.
" Thank you so much Spike!, I'm so proud of you- I love you so much please forgive me! " I wept aloud pulling him into my embrace for a tight hug, planting kiss after kiss across his forehead, my body trembling.
My eyes quickly shot open, bloodshot and stinging from the tears I shed as I gazed down to see I was holding nothing in my hooves.
Spike was gone I could sense his warmth around me yet could not make him out, The room was darker now and empty.
Gone the bed and table taken deep into the darkness never to be seen again.
Yet I was here still.
The creeping of the door could be heard through the darkness as my ears perked up from the eerie noise, I swallowed the lump inside my throat unsure what else this strange place had in store for me.
But with renewed hope and a stronger heart I trotted forward.
Exiting through the outline of a open door.
And into the unknown.
