These Things Ain't Apples

by Harbinger Of Mist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Crossover, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1159

Applejack goes on her usual apple-bucking routine, but one tree holds a couple of surprises.

A short, fun one-shot that will have nothing explained.

Applejack was expecting the usual apple harvest. But one tree has a particularly odd apple that she does not remember planting. This strange fruit is not all that she encounters...

Hit the "popular stories" tab on 23/10/14. Thank you everyone!

Published 2014-10-23 07:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-23 07:20:07 UTC

...And They Taste Awful

The sun rose over the horizon to sweep its warm, cozy rays throughout Sweet Apple Acres. The rooster cock-a-doodle-doo'd to stir Applejack awake from a good night's sleep.

Applejack threw her bed sheets off of her and trotted over to the window. She had the most magnificent view of her family's orchard. She sighed in comfort as she took in how wonderful the weather was. "Ahh... and not a cloud in the sky, too. Ah can't wait to get bucking!" She shook her head and stretched herself out along her floor to get her ready for a weekend of harvesting.

After having a nice breakfast, she wanted to get a jump start on the bucking. She figured she'd give her brother and sister, and especially her grandmother, a little more time to sleep. The time alone left her with pleasant thoughts.

She had bucked a few trees, and all was well. She only had to toss out two rotten apples. She soon came across a tree that seemed out of order with the others. The apples it had looked like macintoshes, but the section of the orchard where they normally grew them was near the west edge of the grounds. What was even weirder were the leaves that were sticking out of the top of them. "Well..." Applejack pondered. "Ain't that peculiar?"

She should have been asking more questions first. But instead, she decided to buck them down anyway. As they fell down into the baskets below, she inspected the apples up closer. They certainly had large leaves sticking out of the base of the stems, and the colours were much more vibrant than a macintosh. With caution, she picked one of them out and took a slow bite. Her taste buds were soon assaulted by a flurry of sensations. The chunk that rested on her tongue struck different areas with different flavours. She felt a very uncomfortable combination of sweet, spicy, tart, sour, and even salty. The salvo of flavours even kept switching around to different areas; all five of them seemed to be racing around in different patterns. After only two seconds of the evil attack the fruit's juice had just unleashed, she quickly spat it out and tried to wipe her tongue clean of any trace of the taste.

She looked back at the rest of the fruit with disgust. "What in the name of Celestia could possibly have such an ugly and..." her tone shifted into confusion, "somewhat magical taste?" While trying to comprehend her new present, she began to hear loud biting and chewing noises from the other side of the tree.

Upon walking around to investigate, she happened upon a creature that made her jaw drop. A foreign creature was resting on its back along the branches with its eyes closed non-chalantly. It seemed primarily orange, with an odd, spiky purple mane-cut. It wore an equally alien piece of blue fabric around its lower torso. Down at what Applejack expected to be its back hooves, dark red appendages with a layer of white on the bottom were discovered instead. She watched as the creature ate another one of the morbid apples, which didn't seem to know she was there. As it opened its mouth, Applejack quickly figured out that it was some sort of rodent-like creature from its pointy mug and ears. It held the strange food in what reminded her of Spike's claws. Fingers, as they're sometimes called? The arm and fingers were orange as well, but the backs and palms appeared to be brown.

The creature suddenly stopped eating and opened its eyes. It angled its face around to stare directly down at Applejack. It could recognize the shock in her eyes, but oddly enough, it didn't react to her presence. As it stared back, it took another bite of the fruit and hopped down to the ground. This being was certainly bipedal; it stood upright on its two hind legs and leaned casually against the trunk of the tree. It remained silent and calm as Applejack just grew more and more surprised with each passing second. The creature didn't speak, it just took the last few bites out of the atrocity of a fruit and continued to hold onto the core. A few more awkward seconds passed by and it finally displayed some emotion. It held up its occupied hand and stuck up three fingers to wave hello with a quick smirk.

Applejack simply ran back to the house as fast as her dear legs would allow her. Whatever the unknown creature was, she didn't want to stick around to find out if it may have been hostile. She called out for her brother as she approached his window. "MAC!! BIG MAAAAAC!! Wake up!!"

Big Mac showed up to look down to her sister from his bedroom window. He was still noticeably sleepy as he yawned and asked with half-lidded eyes, "AJ? What is with all the ruckus?"

"Big Mac! Come outside rahght now!" Applejack shouted back.

"Ahright! Ahright... Sheesh." Big Mac was not amused, as he would rather go back and finish his sleep. Nonetheless, he rushed downstairs to his sister's aid.

After leaving the front door, he was promptly held at the sides of his head and shook awake by his sister. "Wake up and follow me! You need to see this!"

Applejack didn't wait for him, she just bolted back to where she saw the unusual fruit and guest.

Big Mac grimaced as he gathered his bearings from his sister's greeting and soon galloped to catch up with her.

Once he met back up with her, Applejack was standing in front of the tree she claimed to be the host of the unlikely visitor. She was staring up at the branches to see that it was holding golden delicious, the type of apple that was planted here in the first place. It seemed un-bucked; even the baskets she used to collect the new fruit had disappeared. She looked back at her brother with a pleading and surprised expression. "It... I-i-it was right here! And the apples! The animal! I... I saw them!!" Big Mac was growing more and more annoyed. "I bucked this tree! I had baskets full of morbid-tasting apples! I'm not even sure they were apples! And this orange... rat-like thing..."

"AJ..." Big Mac spoke up. "Ya sure it ain't just the cahder y' finished off last night? Ah tried to warn ya it went bad."

Applejack calmed down from her frantic state. She panted and thought back to before. "R-rahght. It musta been... the cahder..."

"Now how 'bout we go back to bed?" Big Mac suggested. "We can buck together once the sun has finished risin'."

Applejack sighed in defeat and a hint of relief. "Ahright."

Author's Note

I don't need no editor! I don't need no proofreader!

But I! Am! In desperate need! Of a thesaurus!