The Loneliest Laundromat
by Present Perfect
Lights on. Shades up. Register started. OPEN sign lit. Door unlocked. Elbows on counter, new book open, long sigh. Another lonely day began for Sudsy Bubbles.
She wasn't the only Canterlot High student who operated her own business, but even she would agree that hers was likely the least successful. In the months since she had taken over the facility, she had been unable to find a cause for the low turnout. It certainly wasn't her. She had plenty of friends and couldn't remember an unkind word said to her since elementary school. It wasn't the location, since the previous owner had kept the place afloat with no issues. Granted, he'd been a trust fund kid; maybe he didn't have to worry about things like getting customers and making money. She even made sure to put up homemade advertisements around town at the start of each term, so it wasn't like people didn't know she was there.
Maybe it was the music. After all, her tastes tended toward avant-garde folk noise. Perhaps getting a radio and tuning it to a pop station would attract more customers. Not that she was sure she could stand eight hours a day of vapid love songs, but if it was a choice between that and losing her business, then taste be hanged.
Whatever the cause, her problem still remained: Sudsy's Wash-N-Go was in financial straits. If not for that one purple-haired girl who needed a brand-new outfit dry cleaned every other day, the operation likely wouldn't have lasted even this long. It was as though no one in town ever washed their clothing.
Sighing again, she flipped the page, then flipped it back when nothing seemed familiar. If she couldn't even absorb what she was reading, it was going to be a long day.
The bell over the door dingled. Sudsy froze, unsure how to react. By the time she looked up to see who it was, a teal and purple blur had sped around the counter and hunkered down beside her.
"Th-this looks like a good place to hide, right?"
Sudsy blinked. Her eyes didn't work perfectly, but she was pretty sure they'd never played tricks on her this badly before.
Crouched behind the counter, eyes darting left and right like a cornered animal, was a blue-skinned girl with purple-striped teal hair. Her burgundy top and pink skirt were mussed and ripped. Mascara tracked down her cheeks. As she caught her breath, she hugged her knees to her chest and trembled, only looking up when Sudsy cleared her throat.
"H-hi." Her grin was as permanent as it was honest. "You don't mind if I hang out here for a bit, do you?"
Sudsy stared. The girl was somehow familiar, but she couldn't place her. Faces weren't her strong point. Unsure of what to do, she just nodded.
"Th-thanks. I promise I won't get in your way, ha ha."
The girl grimaced, head sinking onto her arms and back heaving. As she made no further attempt at conversation, Sudsy went back to her book. Sure, the rest of the day would likely pass uneventfully, but maybe having company, even quiet company, wouldn't make that such a bad thing.
It was at the end of the first chapter that Sudsy realized the store wasn't entirely quiet. From her side came the sound of soft weeping. Concerned, but unsure what to do, she reached down and laid a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder.
"It's not my fault!" she wailed, and Sudsy flinched away. The girl turned her face up, giving Sudsy a great view of tears and snot.
"I thought they were my friends! But when everything goes wrong, they turn on me? It's not like I'm the only one who screwed up!" She started to hyperventilate, words slurring together. "B-but they blamed me f-for everything, and now I f-feel like maybe I deserve it b-because I... I..."
Her head sank back into her hands, and her crying intensified. "I'm literally the wo-o-orst!"
Sudsy gasped. She finally recognized this girl: she had been one of the ones performing in the final round of the battle of the bands!
It had been such a heated contest that she couldn't really feel bad about being knocked out in the first round by those freshmen. After all, her tastes weren't everyone's, and those girls had had some pretty awesome costumes. Really, it was just great that she'd gotten to play, to expose her schoolmates to something potentially mind-opening.
But these girls...
They had been in it for more than just the glory of being the best in school. Sudsy couldn't explain it, but there had been something evil about them. Not to mention all that light-show stuff during the final round. It had been quite the show, even if she couldn't remember all of it.
Yet as she looked over the girl sitting next to her, she didn't see some standoffish diva hellbent on winning a contest or whatever. This girl looked scared, cold, maybe even lonely. No matter what she might've tried to do before, right now she was only a normal, emotionally distraught teenager, and deserving of pity. Kindness, after all, was its own reward.
Sudsy reached to her right, removing a box of kleenex from under the counter and handing it over. The girl removed large wads of them and blew her nose.
"Thags," she said. Sudsy handed her a wastebin for the used tissues and turned back to her book.
"I-I'm sorry for just dumping my problems on you like this," the girl said after a few moments.
Sudsy shrugged. It wasn't like it was a burden.
"I mean, this isn't exactly a psychie-whatsits office, is it?"
It wasn't, but Sudsy didn't respond.
"Gosh, I didn't even tell you my name!" The girl gasped, her crying fit evaporated. "I'm Sonata Dusk! Oh, but maybe you already knew that..."
Out of the corner of her eye, Sudsy could see Sonata shrinking back. Yes, she really was just a normal girl. Sudsy smiled and held out her hand. After a moment's hesitation, Sonata shook it.
"What's your... Oh."
Sudsy tapped a finger against her plastic nametag. It was a little thing, dull grey, the blocky, painted-on letters starting to wear off. But a proper businesswoman needed a proper nametag, she thought, so she stuck with it. Sonata leaned in, eyes narrowing.
"Sudsy... Bubbles... Huh. That's a cute name!"
That smile was all the reassurance Sudsy needed that her efforts had been worthwhile.
Sonata regarded her with a lopsided look. "You're not much for conversation, are you?"
Sudsy shook her head. She was more of a listener.
"Oh. Okay, well, so long as you don't mind me being here..." Sonata's gaze wandered around the immediate area. "Where am I, anyway? In all the confusion, I forgot to ask!"
Sudsy pointed to the sign on the back wall that said SELF-SERVE LAUNDROMAT, and the one beneath it which read DRY CLEANING AND ALTERATIONS. Sonata turned, her mouth forming an O as she read. She nodded slowly.
Then she began taking off her clothes.
Sudsy was nothing if not level-headed. This was, without doubt, the strangest thing that had ever happened in her laundromat, but she didn't bat an eye. If anything, her only thought was jealousy over Sonata's lacy black underthings. Despite the other girl's dishevelled appearance, it seemed she had at least gotten her clothing from a store more upscale than what Sudsy herself could afford.
Sonata wadded her clothes into a ball and offered them to Sudsy. "Could you, uh... Mat my laundros?"
Frowning, Sudsy pointed once again to the sign, waggling her finger at the SELF-SERVE part.
Sonata squinted at the sign. Then her face brightened and she placed a hand on her chest. "Ohhh! Myself serve!" She laughed, shaking her head and standing. "I thought it meant yourself serve! They should really make that sign clearer."
Humming tunelessly, Sonata traipsed over to the nearest washer and dumped her clothes into it. Over the next few minutes, and with some difficulty, she purchased detergent from the dispenser and started the machine. Sudsy tried not to think too hard about where she kept her money.
Smiling and nodding, Sonata placed her hands on her hips and stared at the washer as it began its first cycle. Her smile fell as the water level rose, until she finally slumped her way back behind the desk. Sudsy watched her, lips pursed, as she curled up on the floor, facing away from her.
"I'll just be quiet and over here now," she mumbled.
Sudsy frowned. She would have thought having her first new customer in months would at least be a little exciting. Not that she'd get rich off of two-fifty, but hadn't she just been lamenting her loneliness? Not like taking two-fifty, and another buck-fifty for the dryer, from an obvious destitute was anything to be excited about, either.
Sonata shivered. Sudsy watched her for a few moments, at a loss for what to do but feeling something should be done. Then she sighed and removed her shirt. It would at least be a show of solidarity, she supposed. She laid it over Sonata, who gripped it tightly. The nametag clinked softly as Sonata looked up at her with a light smile.
"Th-thanks. I'll t-try not to get it dirty..."
Dirty clothes in a laundromat? Not a problem. Sudsy grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. Sonata had gone back to wallowing, so once more, Sudsy turned to her book, trying to block out the chill of the counter against her bare skin. At least it was a warm day.
It wasn't long, however, before the doorbell dingled again. The scent of patchouli and sandalwood preceded a soft, masculine voice.
"Whoa, hey, Der-- Uh, Sudsy! Like, I totally didn't know you worked here."
"I didn't even know here was here," said a second, scratchier voice.
Sudsy looked up, recognizing two of the stoners from school. They grinned lopsidedly at her for a few quiet moments before one elbowed the other.
"Oh, uh, like... What is this place?"
Sudsy frowned. Really? They didn't know? It figured. She lifted her hand toward the SELF-SERVE LAUNDROMAT sign once more. The flickering candlelight of understanding dawned on their faces.
"Oh. Dude, like..." The second stoner's eyes got widened and shrank. "We could totally mat our laundros."
"Aw. Aw yeah." The first stoner pulled his hat off, green dreadlocks spilling out everywhere. "Izzat cool with you, Sudbro?"
Shrugging, Sudsy smiled and nodded at him. He stared at her for a few more beats before replying.
"Righteous."
In moments, the two boys had stripped to their skivvies and loaded a second washer. Two running machines in a single day? Sudsy rubbed her eyes. Had she not been seeing it, she wouldn't have believed it.
The stoners moved into the corner. One pulled out a small cloth ball and they began kicking it at each other while snickering every now and then. A quick glance at Sonata showed no change, though at least she'd stopped shivering. Sudsy went back to her book.
It couldn't hold her attention, however. Suddenly, she had not one, but three customers in a single day. What had made those two boys come in? Try as she might, no reason was forthcoming. They couldn't possibly have come looking to clean their clothing; they hadn't really seemed to know what a laundromat was.
The doorbell chimed again.
This time, the long-haired quarterback of the CHS football team entered. While others wondered how she saw with her lazy eye -- the answer was, "Quite well, thank you" -- she had always wondered how he saw through all that hair obscuring his face. Despite being unable to see through it herself, she got the feeling he was staring at her. When she cocked her head at him, he shook his, looking like a shaggy dog after a bath.
"Uh, so like, what is this place?"
A flat look on her face, Sudsy pointed to the SELF-SERVE LAUNDROMAT sign.
"Wow." He stepped inside. "Dang. What is that?"
"You can mat your laundros!" said one of the stoners, pointing to his bare chest.
"Like, it's super righteous!" said the other.
"Sounds pretty sweet." The quarterback flashed them a grin and a single gun. They gave him double-guns back.
The quarterback moved among the rows of washers, and Sudsy's heart pounded. She felt light inside. Would he...?
Reaching one near the back, he bent down and opened the lid, ducking his head in. Mumbling echoed metallically inside. He stood, gazed up at the ceiling, and stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth.
"Hey, we're gonna need like... five of these!" he shouted, holding up four fingers. "Is that cool?"
Sudsy nodded.
"Sweet." He worked his way back to the front of the laundromat and opened the door. "I'll be right back, okay?"
The lightness faded, but Sudsy's excitement lingered. Seven. And that was just washers!
As he left, she noticed other people stopped on the sidewalk. A whole lot of them, as a matter of fact, mostly boys, who all turned away when she looked up. Sudsy couldn't figure out what they were doing, nor, again, what had brought the quarterback in just then. She didn't have long to wonder, though, as two girls approached the door.
"Haven't you been saying that I smelled weird lately?" the green one said as they entered. The other one made a disgusted face.
"Lyra! You can't just say things like that in front of strangers!" The cream-skinned girl gave Sudsy an apologetic look. "You'll have to excuse her. She's an idiot."
"But this is totally what we need, am I right?" The green girl started taking off her clothes, right there at the front of the store. "I mean, taking off your clothes? Crazy! Who comes up with this stuff?"
Sudsy noted the stoners seemed to be really interested by them. All she really noticed was that every girl from her school seemed to have better underwear than she did.
"Besides," the green girl continued as her friend pushed her towards the back, "that girl's almost as cute as you! It's a wonder I never noticed before!"
"Lyra, I swear..."
Sudsy flushed and made a point of not listening in to their conversation beyond that. She did, however, notice one of the stoners calling out to them.
"Like, not to harsh your vibe, dudettes, but quarterman's totally got dibs on that corner."
"Oh, all right!" Lyra swept past the corner to one of the front washers. "Hey Bon, let's use this one instead!"
Sudsy couldn't keep track of how many machines were now in use or slated to be used. It didn't matter, because the entire football team swarmed into the place next. They took up not five, but six machines, what with all their uniforms on top of their normal clothes.
Over the next few minutes, more guys came in. Then some girls. Then more guys. Then Flash Sentry, the hottest, most desirable boy in school. Sudsy kept her book in front of her face as he walked by, though she was pretty sure he noticed her light up like a fire truck upon seeing him.
When she dared look up, her breath was taken away. Every washing machine in the place was in use. Everywhere, half-naked students chatted, laughed, and goofed off. The two girls from earlier had gotten into a tickle fight in one corner, half the football team cheering them on. Two guys, one with a shock of blue hair, the other a nerd half his size, chased each other around the folding tables.
Nearly everyone from school was at her laundromat. And they were having a fantastic time.
Why, though? Why now, why everyone all at once? She had all but given up on the idea that anyone other than herself cared about cleaning their clothes. Had Sonata somehow started a trend? A glance to the floor revealed Sonata was snoring and drooling on the linoleum, offering up no answers.
"Hey, everyone!" Flash Sentry cried, standing atop a washing machine, displaying his Wondercolt-patterned boxers for all present. The vibrations made his voice sound funny. "We should come back here every single week and mat our laundros!"
The crowd cheered. A pink girl with poofy hair dropped down from a ceiling tile and threw confetti everywhere, shouting, "Underwear party!" Someone brought out a boombox and dancing broke out.
Every week? She was going to get customers every week? She'd actually have to order more snacks for the vending machines! She wasn't even sure she remembered how to do that! And it looked like one of the guys had fixed the blinky, buzzy light in the back corner! She would have to sweep up, and make sure the detergent boxes were stocked, and...
It was too much. Eyes pointing in different directions, Sudsy wobbled in her chair before toppling over onto something soft and squishy.
"Agh! Hey! I totally wasn't sleeping just now!"
Oh yeah, Sonata. In all the excitement, Sudsy had almost forgotten.
Sonata Dusk. A girl lost and confused. She'd just gotten caught up in something that quite likely neither of them understood. Whoever she was, whatever she was, she had needs, just like anyone else. And though Sudsy couldn't explain how, she had somehow turned a day destined to be dismal and depressing into the happiest of Sudsy's life.
She hugged Sonata tightly. Sonata gagged, struggled to sit up, and pushed her away.
"H-hey, I don't swing that way!"
Oh. Sudsy bit her lip and frowned; she hadn't meant it like that. Sonata blushed and tapped her fingertips together.
"Uh, but I do like hugs..."
After a moment, they embraced mutually. Sudsy grinned.
"I could get used to this," Sonata said after they separated. "Do you..." Sonata's gaze turned to the floor, the blush creeping back into her cheeks. "Do you mind if I come back here? Like maybe tomorrow?" She bit her lip. "Just so you don't get lonely again."
Grinning, Sudsy lifted Sonata's chin so she could see her nod. As it was, Sudsy was feeling so upbeat about her current good fortune, she would have offered Sonata her couch to sleep on if she needed it.
Good fortune, yes, and a friend to share it with. That made both of them better.
Best day ever.
She looked up as two more would-be customers stopped in front of the windows. One had orange hair that might have been poofy if it hadn't been matted with dirt. The other had a single purple and blue pigtail held in place by a star-shaped bangle. Its twin must have broken off, as the rest of her filthy hair dangled loose. Their clothing was dishevelled and soiled, their expressions dour. They seemed somehow familiar, but Sudsy couldn't place them. Faces weren't her strong point.
The orange-haired one peered into the laundromat, shading her eyes. She looked around a moment, then grimaced and stuck out her tongue. She said something to her companion, who shook her head and rolled her eyes. After a brief but heated conversation, they stalked off down the road.
It was a shame, really. Sudsy might be out of washers right now, but Sonata's would be done pretty soon. If those two had waited, they totally could have washed their clothes. After all, it wasn't like her laundromat was lonely anymore. Maybe a visit would have been just the thing to brighten their day.
The door swung open, drawing her attention once more. Her purple-haired regular stood there, eyes closed, chin tilted up, garment bag slung over her shoulder.
"Sudsy, dear, I hope it's not too much of a bother, but I just finished showing off this ensemble and I..." Her eyes opened and she trailed off.
Everyone in the laundromat had frozen, staring straight at her. Her pale cheeks began to turn bright red.
"Oh hey, Rarity!" The pink girl zipped up to her and bounced in place. "Did you come to join the underwear party too? Didja, huh, huh, didja?"
Rarity's mouth dropped open. "Ah-ah, I..." Her eye twitched. Her fingers spasmed. Then she shrugged.
"When in Rome, as they say." With a single motion, she removed her outer garments, tossing them and her bag to Sudsy. The music started back up, the students resumed dancing, and Rarity and her friend joined them.
Sudsy blew a raspberry.
"Well, it's not all bad," Sonata said, peeking over the counter. "Everyone's having a good time!"
Sudsy had to agree. After all, maybe now she'd be able to afford some nicer underwear.
Author's Note
This story hinges on two major jokes. The first one is that, like most people in cartoon shows, the kids at Canterlot High never change their clothes, main characters aside. Thus, it stands to reason they have no idea what a laundromat is, ergo this story. Why does a laundromat exist in the world in the first place? Stop asking questions now! :D
The second joke is the answer to "Why is everyone coming into the laundromat all of a sudden?" and is left as an exercise to the reader to figure out.
This was just a short idea I had between EQG and the end of season 4, but it didn't get off the ground until I woke up one morning recently with the one thing that would make it work burned into my mind: Sonata Dusk. Suddenly, it had gone from "silly, possibly depressing story" to "rollicking friendship fiasco". That said, it's still pretty light as comedies go, at least in my opinion. Hopefully people enjoy the subtle fridge humor and don't mind that I changed Derpy. Honestly, if you think about it, bubbles, muffins and mail delivery have nothing to do with each other; this kind of character fits her much better. I also hope people don't mind all the ship teasing. After seeing some other Sonata fics, I kind of wanted to show that it's possible to write a story featuring lots of naked teenagers without A) describing them in great detail, and B) having them make out.
Also, Sonata is literally the best. Just sayin'.
Thanks go out to MaskedFerret, Jake the Army Guy, NickNack, Justice4243, and Cloudhammer for feedback, and to based Syeekoh for fixing my dumbs.
