Silence
Most dreams are silent. I have traveled through thousands of young pony’s dreams, so I know this better than most. When a filly or colt with a quiet life and clean conscience slumbers, their dreams are as quiet as a drifting snowflake.
I was in a scary-house-of-hallways dream, however, and a scared filly’s frantic running and crying made this dream especially noisy.
“Mooom! Daaad!”
I explored every hallway, looking for the troubled child.
“Where are you?” I cried.
Since she couldn’t hold still long enough for me to track her down, I called out to her.
“Silver Shine! Can you hear me?”
She stopped. “W-who are you? Have you seen my mom and dad?”
“No, but I can help you find them. You have to come to me first.”
An earth pony filly with a white mane and silver fur peeked around a nearby corner. Silver was biting her lower lip as she peered at me.
I smiled my warmest smile. “Little filly, do you not recognize me? I am Princess Luna, the Alicorn of the night, visitor of children’s dreams.”
“I’ve never seen you in my dreams.”
“There are many children in this world, Silver Shine. I cannot visit them all in one night, yes? It’s just your turn to see me, that’s all.”
She looked down, rubbing her chin. “I guess that makes sense. How do you know who I am?”
“It’s part of my dream walking talent to know. Your name, face and all other surface details are the first things I discover when I travel from dream to dream.”
Silver Shine cautiously walked over to me. “Why are you here? I want my parents, not you.” Her ears flattened and she gulped. “No offense.”
“None taken, child. I sensed your distress from a mile away.” The questions that I didn’t want to ask had to be asked. I hesitated before doing so, knowing that any delay would only make her situation worse.
I leaned down and looked into her blue eyes. “Do you know how long you’ve been asleep?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. A lot longer than usual.” Silver’s eyes popped wide. “Wait. If I’m asleep, then why am I looking for my parents?”
I looked around us, frowning. The hallway-house was no place for a troubled child. I stamped a hoof, scattering the walls away like leaves, leaving behind a sea of stars.
“Let’s find a nicer place to talk, shall we?” I asked, smiling at her.
With the speed of dreams, we soon found ourselves sitting on a tropical beach at night. The full moon above us was reflected on a mirror-still ocean.
Silver stood up and whirled around, amazed with everything she saw. “Can you do this all the time?” she asked, voice squeaking.
“Only in dreams, sadly.”
“Are my parents here?” asked Silver, anticipation putting a edge in her voice.
I sighed. “No, child. They are . . . further away than this place.”
“What are you talking about? You said I was dreaming.”
Now came the other question I didn’t want to ask. “Do you know why you have been asleep for so long?”
She shook her head. “I . . . I can’t. Can I ask you something, Princess Luna?”
“Of course, child.”
“My friends used to tell me that you visit the dreams of kids like me. That you help them solve personal problems.”
I nodded. It was heart-warming to know that my efforts had not been forgotten. “That’s right, Silver Shine. I have given guidance to countless fillies and colts.”
“Why?”
I blinked. “Why what?”
“Why do that? I’ve never heard of you visiting the dreams of grown-ups. Why just kids?”
“You are a sharp-eyed filly, aren’t you?”
Silver smiled, lifting her chin proudly. “Yeah. Mom once told me that I’m bound to get a science cutie mark, because I question everything. Even authority. Drives my dad nuts.”
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I said, “I do what I do because children, no matter where they are, will always need a guiding hoof. One that I wish I had in my arrogant youth.”
“Do you mean . . . before you became Nightmare Moon?”
I nodded, my ears drooping at the ugly memories that always crept up whenever my old name was even whispered. “Children will pay attention to my lessons far more than any adult. That’s why I spend every night of my life looking for troubled children like you.”
“Do you do this out of guilt?”
My jaw dropped a little. Sharp as a knife, this one. “That’s partly it. You see, I know what it’s like to be lonely. To feel lost and abandoned with no hope in sight.”
“You never visited anyone’s dreams before Princess Celestia sent you to the moon, I bet.” said Silver shine with a knowing smile.
“I didn’t know true suffering back then. When I was banished to the moon for my foolish rebellion, I had plenty to time to reflect in that cold silence.” I poked at the ground, my heart feeling more heavy by the minute.
“Did you cry for your parents, too?”
I shook my head. “Only for my sister. As I said, I didn’t know what pain really was until later. Before she sent me away, I sensed the enormous regret she felt in sending away her only sister. I hurt myself because of my bad decisions.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued. “I also hurt Celestia as well. Feeling her pain through the centuries taught me the value of empathy. When I was finally reunited with my sister, I made a vow to never let a child suffer the way I suffered. It’s not just guilt that drives me, Silver Shine. It’s my need for absolution.”
Silver turned her head sidewise a bit. “Absowhat?”
I snickered. “Absolution. It means I’m trying to free myself from the guilt of what I had done in the past.”
“Are you feeling any less guilty nowadays?”
I pressed my hooves deeper into the sand. “Only a little.”
“My dad always said that small problems have to be taken care of before they become big problems.” She shook her head, confused. “Is there some kind of problem with my dreams? Is that why they were so scary?”
“Can you remember the last thing you saw before you fell asleep?”
Silver sat and frowned. “There were a lot of beds around. I think I was in a hotel or something. Why can’t I remember?”
I began to walk around her. “Take your time, my child. What else did you see?”
“My parents were sleeping in another bed. I must have slept a lot because when I woke up for a few seconds, they were gone. Must have gone home.”
Standing behind her, she didn’t see my frown. “Did they come back?”
“Yeah. They were happy to see me awake. I still felt kind of groggy, though.”
“Did they tell you what was wrong with you?”
“Mom just told me that I was really sick. A bunch of other foals were, too.”
“Why were you in those hallways?”
Silver smiled shyly. “I got bored and wandered off. Then I must have dozed off again and didn’t realize it. No wonder I got lost. I guess dreams can confuse you.”
Here was the final question. The one I never want to ask anyone. “Why don’t you wake up?”
Silver opened her mouth and shut it. Mulling over everything we said, her sharp mind finally pieced her memories together. She slouched as her ears flattened.
Mom once told me . . .
My friends used to tell me . . .
“Because I can’t. I don’t think Mom and Dad can wake up either. Princess Luna?”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure you can’t visit my parent’s dreams and tell them not to worry?”
“You can tell them yourself. They’re waiting for you.”
“Will I or my parents ever wake up?”
“Eventually.” I tried not to grimace, but only partially succeeded. “But not here.”
Silver Shine nodded and looked up at the moon. “Okay. I think I get it now.” She glanced at me. “My big problem’s a lot smaller now. Thanks.”
She held out her hooves and I scooped her up in a hug that we both needed.
“I’m always glad to help. Now go to them. You know the way now, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh. You know, you’re just as nice as my friends say you are. Not like your old self at all.”
That’s why I do this every night, little filly, I thought to myself. So that my old self will someday be nothing but history. Even to me.
Silver Shine broke off the hug, turned and walked away from me, fading with every hoof-step.
Soon I was alone in my own dream.
The beach fell away and I returned to the waking world. Silver Shine was with her parents Light and Pearl once again, along with all the other ponies that went to sleep in the last plague and didn’t wake up.
Would I ever find the peace Silver Shine had found? Can my guilt ever be silenced?
I may never know. But I’ll keep trying to find out. That was for later, however. The night was still young and other children needed me. They would always need me.
I stretched my legs and wings, which were stiff from lying on the wet grass, turned towards Ponyville and flew away from the graveyard.
Author's Note
What is it with me and ghost children? Maybe I watched that Neil Gaiman movie "Coraline" one too many times. Nahhh...
The theme song for this story is "The Beautiful Silence" by And Also The Trees.
