A Stellar Affair

Yes, I am rewriting this.

Natural Museum of History, Los Angeles, California

"Please make your way to the nearest emergency exit by following the red lights."  Blared the speakers in the Planetarium, in a calm and monotonous manner unfitting of the prerecorded message's volume.  My two best friends, Ewan and James, were volunteering with me, Matthew, as tour guides for a elementary school field trip.  We had been corralling the children into the Planetarium, when he built up friction and tension in the San Andreas Fault had finally been released, causing what would be classified as the largest US earthquake of all time, measuring 9.8 on the Richter Scale.  The intricate dome imploded on itself, tearing down walls, planets, and the majority of the unstable arches which acted as exits.

"Holy shit!  God, I don't wanna die!  Holy shit!"  I screamed.

"We have to get out of here!  Come on!  Stop crying like a little bitch!"  Shouted James, always the voice of reason.

"Fuck you!  We're trapped!"  I hysterically exclaimed.

"Agh, calm the fuck down!  We can get out!  Somehow!"  James said as he shook me out of my hysterics.

"Okay, okay, now what then!?  I don't see anyway out of-"  I was blown backwards as a concussive shockwave smashed me into a support column.

"Oh god!  Why the hell is the museum exploding!  Is this a terrorist plot or something?  Shit, I don't want to be statistic!"  Ewan said as he darted up the stairs on the side of the room.

"Yes!  We can escape through that maintenance hallway!"  I rejoiced.

"No, we can't!  It's locked!"  Ewan proclaimed, as the door swung open in accordance with the emergency protocols.

"Come on!  This way is still clear!"  The mysterious employee who opened it said.

"Thanks!  And who are you!"  James shouted as he rushed up the stairs.

"I'm Keon!  And come on!  Let's go!"  Keon said.

"Wait!" I cried. "The kids!  We can't leave them!"

"Yes we can!  Now come on!"  Ewan shouted.

"No, Ewan!  KIDS!  COME ON! THIS WAY!"  I cried at the top of my lungs, to no avail.  The rampaging youths were either bawling their eyes out, or dead.

"Matt!  Listen to Ewan!  It's them, or all of us!"  James reasoned.

"Fuck!  If you want to have this stuck on your conscience, fine!  But I have to help!" I resisted, and dashed into the crowd, trying to make my way to the control booth to get to the speaker system.  I shoved and pushed, trying to drag myself through the crowd.  I was nearly there, when the booth collapsed into the crowd.

I coughed, and attempted to lift myself off the floor.  I felt an immense pain in my back, and painstakingly moved my arm to it.  The majority of the flesh on my back had been shredded, bare bone and vertebrae mixed with shards of plexiglass replacing it.  Oh...  Shit...  I thought and pulled myself into the booth, which had crushed the crowd around me when it fell, me "Lucky" enough to have the viewing window hit me instead. I think that I was pulled out of the booth after that... by somebody with tribal tattoos, and a torn museum uniform?  Who was he?  Ken? Leon?  Ah, I don't know.  I'm pretty sure that I blacked out almost immediately after that.

Get up.  The voices were pounding, ricocheting through my fractured skull.  Get Up.  They repeated, pounding, enforcing its message.  GET.  UP!  They boomed, one final time.  I climbed off of the ground, and noticed my torso was wrapped in bandages. I seemed to be physically intact. But not mentally...  I thought, and was thrust forward.  I faceplanted into the granite floor of a seemingly untouched room, a simple stone archway erect in the center of the room.  I approached it, feeling compelled to do so.  There were some strange symbols on it, some kind of glyph.  It looked like:

DRATKCUF ,SSAP TON LLAHS UOY

I was pondering its meaning when a trio of robed creatures approached me from behind.

"What the hell is going on?"  I asked them.

"We are the Judges.  And we have been watching you, Matthew." They replied in harmony.

"Wait, why are you wearing sneakers then?  Shouldn't you have winged sandals, or... nothing?  I mean, you have ancient robes and some Nikes on.  Isn't that a bit... anachronistic?"  I asked.

"Shit.  Keon, I told you it wouldn't work."  I heard, as one of the figures removed its hood to reveal Ewan.

"Hey, it would've been awesome." Keon said, as he removed his hood.

"Shouldn't we be leaving now?  Just because the storage rooms are reinforced doesn't mean they are immune to damage."  James announced, and removed his hood.

"What the hell, guys?  We're trapped in a museum in the biggest quake of the century and you take the time to play a fucking PRANK!?"  I raged.

"Don't worry, this vault is impenetrable, and has four meters of reinforced steel cocooning it.  We aren't getting crushed."  Keon explained.

"Then why is there just... that?"  James asked, referring to the arch.

"Actually, I have no idea.  I just headed down here to hide in the vault, I never knew what could be in it."  Keon said.

"Well, great.  I'm trapped in a underground vault in the middle of a disaster with a group of clueless teenagers."  I complained.

"Oh, Shit!  We don't have any supplies!"  James cried.

"Damn, you're right.  I'll go look for some.  I think the aftershocks are done."  Keon said, and jogged to the door.  "It-Won't-Open!"  Keon grunted as he tried to open the cold steel door.

"It's push, not pull, idiot."  Ewan said.

"Oh.  Well, let me try again."  Keon said, embarrassed, and pushed against the door.  "Egh!  Shit!  We're stuck in here, with no supplies."  Keon realized.

"Then it's time to go see what the hell that arch is."  I said, and we headed to it.  Once we reached it, we each broke apart, and examined separate parts of it.  I couldn't find anything other then the glyph from earlier on the outside, so I walked under it to examine the underside of the arch.  "Huh.  What does this say here...  it looks like..." I said.

"A coffee stain."  Keon said.  "But why is there a coffee stain on this?  And how is this stained?"

"Maybe it isn't a coffee stain?"  Ewan said.  "Here, maybe if we look a bit-"  And Ewan disappeared in a violent burst of light, slightly purple in color.

"HOLY SHIT!  WHAT WAS THAT!  WHAT DID IT DO TO EWAN!"  I shouted, and ran into it, looking for any signs of what might ha-

I opened my eyes.  My body was burning.  My vision was blurred.  I couldn't think, my mind was just... off.  I was nauseous, sweating, I think I was lying in my crap.  Assuming I had crapped myself when I exploded.  Which was probably unlikely since most people wouldn't be able to do anything once exploding.  My vison cleared, and I turned my head.  I lay on a soft, brownish rug, or animal skin.  I began to think again, experiencing sensory overload.  Everything was so bright, so... colorful.  I smelled the air.  It was like a mix of a floral bouquet, and pungent old-lady perfumes.

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5 Minutes Earlier

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Royal Castle, Canterlot, Equestria

It was difficult ruling Equestria, even with someone to share the burden with now.  Every day was arguments, negotiations.  There was almost never any time for myself.  And even though I have been putting my hoof down on the issue of weaponry in light of the recent...  Changeling Incident, nearly all of my underlings, ambassadors, and advisors warned me that any of the neighboring kingdoms could attack, as the news of the Incident was widespread, and the weakness of the Equestrian Sun Goddess revealed.  There would never be a time when the Elements, love, or friendship couldn't solve something.  It was paranoia at its finest, I told myself.  Of course we were weakened, but there had been almost no major conflict since the Rise and Defeat of Nightmare Moon, and that was internal.

Weapons were such a petty idea, we had never had a need for them in over a century, and the only reason that they could ever be of use is if, say, a group of trans-dimensional beings were to appear he-

The stone walls shook, loosing debris and rubble into the air.  I coughed, and used my magic to clear  the space around me.  A bright purple sphere began to form in front of her, growing steadily in size.

"Sister! We wish to know what is happening!"  Luna demanded, as she galloped around the corner.

"I wish I knew sister.  Ready the Guard!"  I ordered, and Luna nodded, galloping off down the hall.  If the need arose, I still had my combat magic, though I was a bit rusty.  Nopony, and I mean nopony, will ever be able to hurt my ponies without going through me first.  The sphere grew larger, beginning to gouge a hole in the cobble floor.  Then, it burst.  A flood of light avalanched down the hall, revealing a group of... ponies?