Twilight's Writing Problem
Princess Twilight had finished her favorite book, 'The Universe's Secrets and Mysteries' written by Starswirl the bearded many years ago when she was still in Celestia's school.
Yet she wondered if she could write anywhere near as good as Starswirl himself, possibly create a story that would make everypony's jaws hang agape. The idea only seemed good to her for a few moments though, for how could Twilight compete with a stallion who almost had more knowledge than Luna and Celestia combined?
Twilight had written before, and she'll admit it's pretty good, but she's no Fillyam Shakesmare. He, who wrote many plays like 'The Two Colts of Verona' and 'The Vender of Fillydelphia', had a quill for a cutie mark which meant he was destined to write in the first place. How could she ever compete with that?
But over the years, even though she knew she would never come close to some of history's greatest writes, she strove to improve her writing. She had to try at least.
Twilight was on her bed at the moment, the time being 4:00 AM. She was using the time that she wasn't studying, saving the world, or whatever to jot down ideas on her 'Story List'. It was barely full though, for over the years she had had almost no free time.
Yet today was one of those special days.
A story about Celestia and Luna's childhood.
Twilight then set down her quill on the drawer besides her, pondering the idea. She could ask them themselves, for she was close to them, and it could be a great biography!
But as she began to jot down the things she would do to write the story, she realized something.
Their childhood is kinda personal. Maybe they would seem offended. After all, last time I asked Luna something personal things got kinda wacky...
"So Luna, I was wondering what you and Celestia's childhood was like," Twilight said a bit uncertainty, trying to break the silence between them.
They were walking through the Royal Gardens with each other, for Celestia though they should bond.
"WHEN THY WAS YOUNG WE BURNED CHURRO STANDS AND THEIR OWNERS. THOSE UNHOLY DEMONS NEEDED TO BE SENT BACK TO TARTARUS WITH THEIR DEMONIC FOOD!"
Twilight just stood still, her lower eyelids twitching.
"SO DOES THOU WANT TO GO BURN ONE NOW?"
Twilight let out a sigh at the memory, crossing everything off like she did with her other failed ideas. Time to think of a new one.
Retrieving her quill and dipping it into the ink that was coviently placed on the drawer beside it, she began to write down another idea.
A story about Fillyam Shakesmare writing a story.
No, that's a stupid idea! Twilight thought to herself, crossing it off with a frown plastered on her face. I've got to think of something that will blow everypony's mind! Something that will make them WORSHIP me!
Twilight then set down the quill, staring at the wall for a few minutes in hope of inspiration. Nothing. Nothing but the images of the churros burning before her as she and Luna laughed drunkenly. That had been a fun night...
Realizing that she was not exactly bustling with creativity, she began to think about basic things like an animal or machine, then branch off from there.
Nothing happened for a while, but then an idea struck her as the word 'human' crossed her mind, her horn instinctively grabbing and dipping the quill. She then furiously wrote down the idea, developing a plot too. It was all so perfect!
"Oh, this is a wonderful idea! Isn't it, Spike?"
Twilight then turned her head to realise that Spike was fast asleep in his basket, absolutely covered in a pile of potato chips. The exact ones Twilight had been saving for the picnic tomorrow with Applejack and her family. She had been planning for months to make it all that more special.
Growling at her sleeping assistant, she grabbed her week's to do list and added, 'Buy potato chips at last minute.' She then added, 'Burn all of Spike's food as punishment'. She had fire on her mind a lot lately...
Even with the picnic tomorrow, Twilight wanted this piece of fiction be done by the end of the night. And potato chips weren't that big of a deal, so she was putting it off until tomorrow. In fact, she didn't even know if the Apple family would eat anything besides apples...
As she finished her plot and decided to move on to her rough draft immediately, she knew she couldn't speak of her actual royal duties or anything she did there, so she began by writing, "You probably will never believe me, but there's more to this world than meets the eye."
Giving a satisfied nod as she reviewed he sentence, Twilight then continued by writing, "Somewhere in Equestria lies a door, a door that leads to a new world. A world much like ours, only this time it's-" She then paused, thinking for a moment as she twirled her quill around. How could she possibly describe such a delicate world and it's people?
She remembered those words like 'hands' and 'shit' (Something a boy had said, which she then researched), but didn't remember what anything else was called like those things they used to walk on or even the five stubs at the end of the hands.
All words had soon escaped her mind as she repeatedly attempted to figure out what to write next.
"How could writing be so hard?" she wondered out loud, working her brain at full compacity. But even after a half hour of work, what she had before he was not enough.
"I'll never get this over by the end of tonight!" Twilight yelled into hands, yet frustration was still coursing through her, making Twilight set down her quill and scream into a pillow, partially so she wouldn't wake Spike and partially because it just felt right.
Yet even as she finished her yell that challenged Luna's war chant, Twilight was on the verge of tossing everything out the window, then burning it. She hadn't written all that much and began to think that writing her story was pointless as she'd never get it done.
Now where did I put those matches...
Yet as she silently opened her drawers, hunting for anything to set flame to her broken dream, Twilight reassured herself it was a good idea by reminding herself she was having a picnic tomorrow with the Apple family, so she should probably sleep.
"Wait that's it!" shouted Twilight, waking up Spike up in the process.
"I'll write about a picnic and how to prepare one and..."
Spike, blinking the tiredness out of his eyes, heard was she was saying and gave a sigh, standing up to go get a drink from downstairs. But as he did, a sudden flashback happened.
"Give me that c-c-c-hurro Spike, and everything will be okay," Twilight said, stumbling about along with Luna. They had been drinking for a while, and Spike had been unfortunate enough to be getting a glass of water in the Royal Kitchen where they had been drinking.
A shaking Spike handed over the churro, to which was set aflame once Luna retrieved it. But even as they clumsily brohoofed each other and hiccuped, Luna kept giving Spike a weird stare.
"T-TWILIGHT SPARKLE, HE HAS TAKEN A B-BITE OF THE POISON. HE MUST BURN!"
Twilight, who was too drunk to realize what she had said, nodded. They then began to advance towards Spike, who was backing up against the wall in fear.
But luckily for him, they both passed out to which Spike then made a run for it.
Twilight, on the other hoof, was completely oblivious to his footsteps and sobs as she began writing a second time.
"Dear reader of this book,
"You probably picked this up because you want to know about planning a picnic. Good. You please me.
Anyways, most ponies believe it requires little to no skill, but you'd be shocked to know it does. Planning is the most intricate thing about anything you can possibly do, and an example is this book you are holding in your hooves/magic right now. It was planned from the ground up and went through many different drafts."
Twilight continued writing until the sun shined bright in the sky, time seemingly nothing to her as she placed the last period of the on the final draft. Looking out the window for the first time in hours, she realized it was now time to go to the picnic. Twilight felt as though she was done with her book, but not completely done until she wrote her author's note:
"I'm writing this note to explain how I planned this book. Anyways, I was so intrigued in writing after I read countless novels by Starswirl the Bearded and Fillyham Shakesmare that I just had to write something.
I went through many drafts of adventure stories and even stories about writing stories. You name it I tried writing it tonight and possibly a few nights before.
But that's not the point of this note. What I want to do is explain that as long as you set yourself a goal, you can do it and don't give up because ideas are never too far away. (Oh, and I hope this book made you want to worship me. If it did, please sacrifice your own kin or someone close to you, then send me the ashes and your vows written in their blood. And the vows are on page 28 where 'How To Do A Twilight Sparkle Religion Themed Picnic' begins.)"
Now completely satisfied, she sent the paper to Princess Celestia along with a note that asked for her to take the author's note as a letter of the things she had learnt from her expiriences last night.
Twilight then stroked her mane with her hoof, prepared the food she had the day before to take out, did other morning things, bought potato chips, burned Spike's food and left to go see the Apple Family again at Sweet Apple Acres for a very well planned picnic.
Celestia received the letter while eating cake, the neatly rolled up paper falling on the top. Grumbling about how rude it was to interrupt a princess's cake eating session, she unrolled it and began to read. She's was soon impressed by the overall quality of the book itself and forgot about the cake she was eating.
Standing up, she proceeds to walk through the castle aimlessly as she reads, and soon begins to skim the author's note.
But just as she's about to set it down and reply to Twilight about how she will soon begin to worship her by sacrificing Luna, she see's there's a spell attached to it.
Celestia knows how to decrypt writing spells and soon is able to read the hidden message hidden by the spell, which was also hidden by a small blotch of ink.
"Hiddenception," she mutters to herself before reading it.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
"You probably will never believe me, but there's more to this world than meets the eye. In your castle lies a door, a door that leads to a new world. A world much like ours, only this time it's full of citizens that are friendly. (Don't get me started on how bitchy Ponyville ponies are)
"I found this interesting because I found out that Equestia isn't the only place with the magic of friendship. I am glad to be be the first to find this out (Yes, Sunset shimmer went there but she turned into a freakin' demon. I don't think that's learning the magic of friendship)"
"...But anyways, it's all thanks to you Princess Celestia. If one day you decide to send me back into the portal again I'll assure you I will write about every single one of my expiriences there.
" I will record my findings from the clones of Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy plus the many other citizens of Equestria. And the magic that happens to be there. Thank you Princess Celestia for the opportunities you've given me."
"Thank you too," says Princess Celestia as she puts the the book to rest by the side of her throne and happily smiles, thinking of the many great things her faithful student has done over the years that are quickly passing.
"Wait, when the buck did I get in my throne?" she asks herself suddenly, looking around.
Shrugging, Celestia then looked over the letter again out of boredom.
"Why did she say door in the first few sentences? And why did she tell me things I already knew? And wait... clones?"
Celestia then shrugged again, retrieving a conveniently placed knife.
"Luuunaaaa!"
Author's Note
Hi. This is a fanfiction I've been thinking of writing for a while now and only just got around to doing it. The idea of a story about writing a story has been done before but this was something I wanted to do anyways.
Thank you soooo much, Frostfur for being my editor and proofreader for this story. It wouldn't have been as great as it is now without you. :) again, thank you so much.
