Twilight trotted down the broken dirt road to her recently constructed castle. She glanced up and took in the large crystal structure shaped oddly like her old tree house, but several times larger.
She sighed as she recalled the fight with Tirek; many ponies had died and even more were injured in the crisis. She had been part of the clean-up crew. For many it was a horrifying job; picking up the bodies and skeletons of the almost completely obliterated dead. It was then that she came across a shocking revelation to both herself and soon her friends.
She opened the door to her castle and made her way up the staircase inside. Arriving at the door to the Friendship Room of Meetings, Twilight hesitated before she stepped inside. Sitting at their thrones, each one bearing their owner’s respective cutie marks, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity all turned to face Twilight as she closed the door behind her.
Rainbow Dash kicked a goblet on the table which then tipped over and landed with a thunk on the crystal surface. Rarity frowned at Rainbow Dash and shook her head side-to-side in disapproval. An apple bounced off the top of Rainbow Dash’s head as Pinkie Pie and Applejack snickered across the table.
Rainbow Dash flew up out of her chair and yelled at the two whilst she crossed her hooves, “Hey! Who threw that!?”
Twilight motioned for them to stop and approached her throne. She glanced up at her cutie mark emblazoned on it and pondered if she should tell them her revelation.
Twilight sat down on her throne and sighed, “Girls... I have something I need to tell you all.”
Rainbow Dash laid back in her throne and planted her back hooves on the table. “What’s up, Twi?”
Twilight resigned to reveal her thoughts to her closet friends. She placed her front hooves on the crystal table and spoke, “Girls, hear me out. What I’m about to say does not leave this room, okay?”
The other five looked at each other and nodded. Rarity grinned at Twilight. “Of course, Darling! You have our full confi-“
“I’m skeleton,” Twilight interrupted.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow and glanced at the other five. “Uh- Skeleton? Are you guys pranking me? Is that supposed to mean something!”
Twilight backtracked, “No, no, no! I really am skeleton!”
Rarity raised a hoof and asked, “Um, Darling. What is you being skeleton?”
“Yeah, tell us Twi,” Applejack joined in.
Twilight twiddled her hooves whilst her cheeks somehow, despite her fur, turned to crimson. “Well- You see... I-I-I-“
Rainbow Dash tossed her hooves up in the air. “You’re what?!”
Fluttershy watched in silent curiosity as Twilight finally informed them, “I-I... I’m not aroused by any normal stallion.”
Rainbow Dash stared at her with a face that screamed, ‘really? That’s it?’ Fluttershy watched impassively whilst Pinkie hopped onto the table. “Yippee! Let’s hav-“
Twilight magically blocked Pinkie’s mouth and nose and forced her to sit back in her chair.
Applejack leaned forward and shrugged. “So you’re a fillyfooler or something? That’s perfectly fine with me.”
Rarity nodded in agreement. “The same goes here; it’s okay Twilight. It’s nothing to worry about.”
Twilight’s ears fell down to the side of her head as she continued explaining, “No- What I meant is that I’m not into any normal stallion. I like stallion with a little less –“ Twilight stuck hoof out in front of her “- well, skin.”
Fluttershy tilted her head and asked, “Do you mean a stallion thats-“
“What does that mean, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash chimed in.
“Yes, pray tell,” Rarity added.
Twilight rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “You know when we were on cleanup duty last week...?”
“Yeah. What does that have to do with this though?” Applejack answered.
“Well, I found out then that I liked... skeletons.”
Rarity frowned, “You mean like for science?”
Rainbow Dash dropped to the floor and started rolling whilst roaring in laughter, “Hahaha! You gotta be pranking me!”
After a brief moment of silence, Rainbow Dash stopped and stared at Twilight from the position of her resting on her back on top the floor.
“You aren’t kidding are you?”
Twilight lowered her head and kept her gaze on the floor. “No; when we were moving the corpses to the graveyard, I didn’t accidently drop it on myself. I did that on purpose. I don’t think I was ever more aroused than that moment.”
Fluttershy’s right eye twitched as she stared at her necrophiliac friend.
Rarity’s jaw dropped as she stuttered, “Wh-wh-what.”
Pinkie Pie fainted from a lack of air as Twilight forgot that she had cut off Pinkie’s only source of oxygen.
Fluttershy leaped out of her seat and screamed at Twilight, “What the buck is wrong with you!?”
Twilight raised her hooves above her and whimpered, “Nothing! I don’t even know why I felt that way!”
Rainbow Dash and Rarity stared at Fluttershy with shocked expressions on their faces as she flew over to Twilight and scolded her, “No desecrating the bodies of the dead! It’s wrong and shouldn’t be done!”
Twilight further hunkered into her throne and apologized profusely, “I’m sorry! I know it’s not right! Just please hear me out!”
Fluttershy glared at Twilight for a few more moments until she flew out of the castle, obviously pissed. Rainbow Dash picked herself up off the ground and trotted over to the weeping Twilight.
“Wow. What you said was bucked up. But that. That was just plain wrong.”
1-1 Big Macintosh Finds True Love
Big Macintosh gave a hearty wave to his family as they had left to head into town. Once they were out of sight, he trotted back inside with a grin. He hastily moved through his house until he reached the kitchen.
He strolled over to the window and closed the shutters. He then made his way over to just in front of the pedestal of his love. The only person who he could ever truly express his feelings to.
Big Mac used his forehooves to steady himself on the side of the counter as he brought himself face-to-face with his love. A stallion’s only true desire. The toaster.
Cradling his head in his hooves, Big Mac sighed as he stared into the slightly-chipped metallic coating.
“Eeeeeeyup,” he drawled with a goofy smile adorning his face.
He stared passionately at the toaster for several minutes before he took action once more. Leaning forward, he whispered close to the open slots that smelled of a good morning breakfast. Namely toast.
Big Mac turned his head and brought it closer to the toaster to listen for a response. Feeling the cold, enticing touch of it nuzzle against his fur, he blushed and pulled away.
Turning to the toaster, Big Mac reached out with his front hooves and brought the toa- no, his toaster to his chest.
