Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II

by sunnypack

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Dark, Human
Length: 379

Why it's good that Twilight learnt how to apply first aid before trying her hoof at autopsy.

Sometimes, knowledge is a burden.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-26 05:49:19 UTC

☤ - Trust Me, I'm A Doctor

Chapter ☤: Trust Me, I'm A Doctor

A little known fact about Twilight 'Medical Miracle' M.D. is that she originally studied to be a doctor. One thing that prevented her from getting her medical license was clinical practice. But hey, who needs real clinical experience when you have books? This is probably the reason why David was currently strapped to a gurney in the Royal Canterlot Hospital mortuary. Twilight 'Suave Specialist' M.D. included straps, which she thought would be a nice effect, seeing as she always wanted to see the salt-twitch reflex on freshly expired muscles. In a strictly academic fashion, of course.

Twilight 'Alicorn of Medicine' M.D. was a stickler for protocol. One must be rigorous in the discipline of making incisions on the recently deceased. A scalpel, applied here, must be guided by a steady focus of telekinetic movement, or the whole effect is ruined. Being the meticulous pony that she was, Twilight 'the Clinical Cure' M.D. set about with a permanent marker and some imagination.

Nurse Redheart dubiously inspected the body. "Are you quite sure that this one is dead? The capillary refill time seems quite suspiciously in the 'alive' zone."

Twilight 'Mega Medico' M.D. threw down her clipboard as well as the quill for good measure. "No time to explain, Nurse Redheart! We need to get a report to the Princess as soon as possible!"

"Do you even have a medical licens—"

"Quiet, nurse! I'm concentrating here." Twilight ‘the Daring Doctor’ M.D. sharpened her scalpel, unnecessarily. "Beginning incision at the anterior medial point of the thoracic cavity.”

The nurse interrupted her as Twilight’s hoof poised a hair's width above the skin. "Excuse me, Doctor?"

"Yes?" replied Twilight 'Superior Surgeon Simulator' M.D. testily.

"Didn't the patient die from a blunt force trauma to the skull? And why is it that we need anesthesia for a dead patient? Also, where is the anesthesiologist?"

"Nurse?"

"Yes?"

"You ask too many questions."

Twilight 'Best Doctor 4ever' then proceeded to cut into the patient.

Report submitted:

Post-Mortem Findings on the Human

Article 1: Cause of Death

After extensive vivisection explorative sectioning of the body it was found that the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head.

END REPORT