The Kingdom of Darknessby abcd_zChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5" 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN?!"The Castle of the Third SisterChapter 8Chapter 1Have you heard the joke about the human male who was transported to Equestria against his will? Oh, you're gonna love this one. See, one day this guy gets sucked into Equestria. Let's say a vortex opens up and sucks him in, spitting him out just outside of Ponyville. Now the guy is completely on his own. No money to his name, no friends, and nobody to turn to for support. Are you laughing yet? Just wait, it gets better. So there are some misunderstandings, but eventually he wins the ponies over and becomes a trusted friend to them. And then one night Twilight Sparkle looks into an enchanted mirror and sees the worst humanity has to offer. Wars and crimes, violence and rape, and a thousand petty little offences that make the world an overall worse place to live. So Twilight talks to Celestia, and the two princesses together devise a plan so cunning, Baldrick could have invented it. First, they lure him to the royal castle in Canterlot. Then, Twilight draws his attention as Celestia casts a spell to incinerate him! Doesn't that make you just want to laugh? ... No? Me either. But as an ex-girlfriend once said, "If I couldn't laugh, I'd cry." When Celestia tried to incinerate me I didn't realize what was happening. I thought maybe it was a spell misfire, or a mistake of some sort. All I knew was that I'd been hit by a blinding white light and the air around me was scorching hot for several seconds. Somehow, though, I didn't take any damage. When the spell ended Celestia was panting heavily, the floor around me had scorch marks, and I was blinking spots out of my eyes. "Whoa, careful there!" I said. "You almost hurt somebody with that thing!" And yes, I'm aware now of the irony of what I said. Celestia's eye widened in surprise, and next to me Twilight yelled, "It's not working! Do it again!" I turned to face Twilight, who stood several paces away from me. Up until that point she had been nervously rambling on about the finer points of Starswirl the Bearded's Fourth Theorem and its general applications... or something. I dunno, I kind of tuned her out. I asked her, "What do you mean it's not-AUGH!" My world was again blinding light and scorching heat. I instinctively covered myself with my arms and yelled, "This is really starting to piss me off!" The spell ended, and Celestia looked shocked. "Okay, somebody level with me. Just what the hell is going on here?" I asked angrily. There was that awkward "I just tried to kill somebody and now they're being petulant about it" pause that often occurs in situations like this. Finally, Celestia answered. Her gaze sharpened as she stared at me resolutely. If there's one thing I knew, it was that Celestia was a fair and just ruler. If anybody could clear this mess up, it would be her. "We do not have to answer your question." she said. My brain locked up as I tried to process what I heard. Then, once I realized that yes, I did hear what I thought I did, I got angry. "Okay, fine," I said through gritted teeth. "Then answer me this: DID YOU JUST TRY TO KILL ME?!" Celestia stared at me stoically and refused to say anything. Next to me, Twilight didn't have nearly the same composure. "Oh god," she said frantically, "he's going to kill us. Oh god, oh god, oh god." I stared at Twilight. Had everybody here gone crazy or something? Where on earth had Twilight gotten the impression that I was a homicidal maniac? I mean sure, I was upset, but that didn't mean I was going to attack her, and it certainly didn't mean I was going to kill her! I was stuck with two conflicting urges. The first was to reassure Twilight. I didn't know what was going on, but she was my friend and I owed it to her, and to myself, to fix this misunderstanding. The second urge was to throw my hands up and just head home. Let the craziness sort itself out and get back to my nice, warm, comforting, bed. After a quick internal argument I decided to stay and try to reassure Twilight. I crouched down and gently spoke to Twilight. "Twilight, look at me," I said as reassuringly as possible. "I don't know why you would think that, but you're wrong. You're my friend, and I would never let anything bad happen to you." By this point Twilight had retreated into a curled, shaking, fetal position on the floor. At my words she stopped shaking and slowly looked up at me. "Really?" she asked. "Really really," I said, recalling a running gag between us. Twilight started to uncurl from her position on the floor and then- To this day I don't know what went through her head. One second it looked like she was going to trust me, then the next second her eyes got wide and she yelled, "He's lying! Celestia, hit him again!" Celestia, to her credit, did nothing. There was an aura around her horn, but it didn't appear to be doing anything. I straightened up. "Perhaps you could tell me what's going on?" I asked Celestia. "We owe you no explanation, intruder from another world!" I was shocked. The ponies had always known that I was from a different dimension, and it had never been a problem before. This meant the venom I heard in Celestia's words took me completely by surprise. "In fact," she continued, "I see no reason to allow you your freedom from here on out. Guards!" Oh, hell. This day had just gone from bad to worse. I sprinted for the exit. Two guards entered through the double-doors just as I reached them. Without missing a beat I vaulted over one of them and kept running as if my life depended on it. With the way things were going, it probably did. Behind me, I heard Celestia bellow, "Don't let him get away!" Lovely. Author's Note Yes, I'm aware that Celestia and Twilight are acting very out of character here. Trust me, there's a reason for this, even if it won't be explained for a while. Chapter 2As I ran for my life I mentally reviewed my options. • Go back and try to convince Twilight and Celestia that they were mistaken about me. Hah! Fat chance of that. Twilight had a nervous breakdown and Celestia wasn't giving me anything to work with. • Escape from the castle and head back home. No good, either. That's the first place they'd be expecting me. • Find Luna and have her help me. Too risky. With everything that's happened, I don't know how Luna feels about me. She may be able to help, but she may also side with her sister and have me locked up. If that happens, I don't like my chances of being able to escape again. • Go someplace nopony would ever follow me. I didn't like it, but it seemed to be my best choice. And there was only one place I could think of that nopony in their right mind would go: the Everfree Forest. Unfortunately, there was a castle full of guards trying to capture me. I still needed to figure out a way to get out of the castle and all the way to Everfree Forest without being caught. As I turned a corner I saw two guards standing watch: a white pegasus and a grey unicorn. A plan hatched in my mind, developing as I talked. "You, there!" I said, pointing to one. "And you!" I said, pointing at the other. "This is a royal emergency. Under the orders of Princess Celestia, I'm commandeering your services. There's been a break-in. An enemy magic-user has cast a spell to brainwash the Royal Guard. Celestia tasked me with a top-secret mission that requires me to get to the Everfree Forest, and I'm tasking you two with getting me there safely. I take it you know where the Everfree Forest is?" Both guards nodded once, sharply. "Excellent. I believe the brainwashing spell is transmitted through words, so if you hear another guard trying to tell you something, ignore it. Do your best to block it out. Plug your ears if you have to. The mission is of the utmost priority, so under no circumstances are you to allow me to become detained. Do you understand?" The guards nodded again. "Good. Now tell me, what would be the fastest route to the Everfree that would avoid as many guards as we can?" The guards paused and looked at each other. Finally the pegasus spoke up, "I suppose that would be the service tunnels. It'll be a little cramped, but from there you can get to the outskirts of Canterlot. Then we can commandeer a train under Her Majesty's Order, which should bring us to Ponyville in a matter of hours." "Which way are the tunnels from here?" I asked. The pegasus pointed down a hallway. "We go that way until we hit-" At this point several other guards ran into view. "There he is!" One of them yelled. "Stop him!" "Whoops, running now!" I yelled and ran in the direction the pegasus guard had indicated, followed shortly by the two guards. There was a bright flash behind me, and a chorus of yells and groans went up behind me. "What was that?" I asked, not daring to look back. "A flashbang spell," the unicorn guard running beside me said. "That should buy us enough time to get to the service tunnels." I grinned and said to the unicorn guard, "Dude, you rock." We walked down the service tunnels for what felt like hours. It was probably closer to a half-hour, but it felt like hours. My feet ached, my muscles burnt from all the sprinting I had done, and the guards were absolutely no help when it came to distracting myself with conversation. If I asked either one of them a direct question they would answer it, but any attempts to strike up a conversation was met with stony silence. After a few attempts I gave up and we walked in silence. Occasionally we would come to an intersection. Whenever this happened the guards would inspect the arrows painted on the walls, then walk in the direction indicated by at least one of the arrows. Eventually we reached the exit: an unmarked door set into the wall at the end of the tunnel. We walked through it, emerging about half a mile from the castle. Then we walked to the Canterlot trainyard and commandeered a train and a conductor to drive it. The train dropped me off in Ponyville, then the guards took the same train back to Canterlot while I walked to my place to load up on supplies. I felt bad for the lambasting those two guards were sure to get for aiding a fugitive, but my survival took priority over everything else. Twilight and Celestia were both in Canterlot, so I should have had some time to grab some supplies from my place. On the other hand, I wasn't sure what sort of magic or technology the princesses had at their disposal. What was the maximum range on teleportation, for example? If Celestia was strong enough, could she teleport all the way to Ponyville? At times like that I wished I'd paid more attention to Twilight Sparkle's rambles about magic. Then I snorted. No, even knowing my life could depend on that knowledge I still wouldn't have paid attention. Those monologues were boring! But the point remained: I had no idea when or if the princesses would be arriving here in Ponyville. That meant I had to gather as many supplies as I could as quickly as I could, then get the hell out of town. I grabbed my backpack and stuffed it full of food and whatever gear might be appropriate for a survival situation. I was going to be in the Everfree Forest for an indeterminate amount of time, so I had to make sure I took anything I couldn't easily make on my own. By the time I finished, my backpack was stuffed with food and survival supplies. I locked the door and left the house, only to bump straight into Rarity. I meant that literally, by the way. I turned a corner and collided with her, knocking both of us over. I picked myself back up and offered her a hand. "Are you okay?" I asked. Rarity's eyes widened in terror and she turned around and bolted back the direction she'd come. Great. Whatever was going on, it was spreading. I needed to get out of here as quickly as I could. I started jogging towards the Everfree Forest. Chapter 3A week of living in the Everfree. A week of scavenging for whatever food I could find to survive on. The rations I had packed were long gone, even with the occasional scavenged food to supplement them. I had no skill in hunting, and on my second day I was attacked by a monster that almost killed me. I managed to escape, but from then on I jumped at every noise, afraid that the monster had found me again and wanted to finish the job. A week of being cold and hungry and miserable and afraid. Except when it rained. Then I was wet and cold and hungry and miserable and afraid. I was in hell. You know, you never really appreciate creature comforts until you're stuck without them. If Princess Celestia had appeared to me and offered to give me a hot shower and a nice hot meal before executing me I probably would have seriously considered it. Princess Celestia did not find me that night, but something else did. I was sitting on a log in a small, secluded clearing I'd found. My eyelids were heavy and I found it hard to stay awake. The sound of a snapping branch brought me back to full alertness. I jumped to my feet, grabbed a heavy stick I'd harvested for just this purpose, and took a batter's stance with it, looking around me wildly for the source of the noise. "Back off!" I yelled. "Whatever's out there, back off! I'm armed and I'm extremely dangerous, so if you don't want to be knocked the fuck out, just back off!" The last words came out in a strangled, hysterical yell, but I was beyond caring at that point. I heard a female voice chuckle as two light blue eyes glowed at the edge of the clearing. The whites of the eyes weren't white at all but a light blue color, and the pupils of the eyes were narrow, almond-shaped slits, like a cat's eyes. A dark mist obscured the rest of the creature from view. The dark mist coalesced into a equine shape that I suddenly recognized. She was a black alicorn equal in size to Celestia. Her mane did the same ethereal, floaty-starry thing that Luna's did, and she wore distinctive light blue armor, helmet, and hoof-protectors. "Nightmare Moon," I said, by way of greeting. "Calm yourself, human," she said. "I mean you no harm." Failing to be reassured by her words, I kept my stick cocked in exactly the same position. Seconds passed and neither of us moved. Finally, I nervously blurted, "Just stay there. Stay where you are." I don't know what I expected her to do. Perhaps for her to laugh at my demand. Or perhaps for her to ignore my words and slowly walk towards me, like you sometimes see on television shows. But she did neither. She just smiled serenely and said, "As you wish." More awkward silence. When I could bear it no longer I asked, "Why are you here?" She responded, "I heard about your misfortunes, and I wish to help you." I scoffed. "Yeah, right. You must think I'm a real idiot. The last time you showed up you tried to blanket Equestria in eternal night. Why on earth should I trust you?" "Think back to the stories," she said. "I tried to bring eternal night, yes, and then I was defeated by the Elements of Harmony. The Elements could have destroyed me then and there, but for some reason I still don't understand, they didn't. Instead, they purged me of my evil and separated me from Luna. Ever since then I have been travelling Equestria, attempting to make amends for my crimes." "So what, you're a good Nightmare Moon now?" She merely nodded. "Assuming that this is all true, which I don't believe for a second, but assuming it is true, what do you want from me?" "Right now, I wish nothing more for you than to get you somewhere safe. You've been on your own for a while, now, and I don't know how much longer you can survive like this." "Hey, I've been doing pretty good for myself," I protested, my ego briefly getting the better of me. "Perhaps you have," she said, "but what will you do during the fall, when food becomes scare? I'm offering you a better choice. Come with me and I shall feed you and keep you warm and safe." "I don't know. What would you want in return?" "Perhaps, in the future, there are some tasks I could have you do, but I will feed you and keep you safe regardless of whether or not you choose to do them for me. On this you have my word." I sighed and threw my stick to the ground. "Lady," I said, "you had me at 'food'." Nightmare Moon smiled. "I am glad to hear it," she said. "Yeah, yeah. So how are we supposed to get to... wherever it is we're going?" "Just place your hand on my side and I shall transport us to the Dark Kingdom." I looked at her questioningly. "The Dark Kingdom?" "Yes, what of it?" "Oh, I don't know. It just seems a bit melodramatic to me. 'Let us travel... to the Kingdom of Darkness!'" Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon didn't understand that I was just mocking a pretentious style of speech and didn't actually mean what I said. "Very well then," she said, "let us be off!" Before I could respond she placed her hoof on my shoulder, her horn flared cyan, and there was a bright flash of white light. It took me several seconds for my night vision to return, but when it did I realized that I was in the exact same place I had been before. Nightmare Moon was nowhere to be seen. I groaned once I realized what had happened. As I'd learned in Celestia's chambers, I was immune to at least one type of magic. Unfortunately, this immunity also appeared to extend to teleportation. Nightmare Moon's spell took her where she wanted to go, but it hadn't been able to take me with her. I sat down on a log and waited. I don't know if you've ever had an alicorn fly you around before, but it is an incredible experience. I highly recommend you experience it at least once in your lifetime. A full moon lit the night landscape as I watched trees and streams and the occasional house pass beneath us. In the distance I saw a dark blob against the night sky that Nightmare Moon explained to me was Cloudsdale when I asked her about it. Eventually we landed on a narrow path leading up the side of a small mountain. I dismounted and followed Nightmare Moon up the trail. "So Nightmare Moon," I asked her, "do you have any name besides that?" She replied, "No. Nightmare Moon is the only name I have to call my own. I was called Luna once, but that is no longer my name." "Well, I can't keep calling you Nightmare Moon. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, and it gives entirely the wrong impression about you. What if I gave you a new name?" Nightmare Moon stopped short on the path, looking at me in surprise. "You would do this for me?" "What, give you a new name? I don't see why not. How about... Lunatic Fringe? It's a term from my world that means somebody eccentric or who holds abnormal beliefs." "Lunatic Fringe..." she said a few times, rolling the name around in her mouth. "Yes. Yes, I like it. From now on, you may call me... Lunatic." "Hmm. Actually, I'm not so sure I like it now. Maybe we could come up with a new name that doesn't indicate that you're insane?" But the mare hadn't heard me. She was too wrapped up in the enjoyment of the new name. "Yes, this is perfect! Lunatic Fringe! 'Greetings, fellow pony! I am Lunatic Fringe!'" Lunatic grabbed me and wrapped me in a hug that I definitely wasn't expecting. "Thank you so much!" "Erf! It was nothing, think nothing of it." Lunatic starting bouncing with joy as she made her way up the mountain path. I mean that literally; she did the same thing I'd seen Pinkie Pie do on occasion, where she would kick off with all four feet at the same time, bouncing herself forward. I shook my head in amusement and followed her up the path. Author's Note Remember: Fringe-ship is Magic! Chapter 4Lunatic stopped walking. "We are here," she said. I looked around. I could see nothing of interest in any direction. In front of us and behind us, the path continued to wind its way up and down the mountain. To my left was a downward slope that ran all the way to the bottom of the mountain. To my right was the base of a sheer cliff that rose up the mountainside. "Are you sure?" I asked dubiously. Lunatic simply smiled and walked to the base of the cliff. And then she was gone. "Lunatic?" I asked nervously. "Where'd you go?" I heard her giggle. "Calm yourself, human. I'm still right here. Follow me." I hesitantly walked towards the natural wall of rock. I reached out to touch the wall, only to realize it was further away than I thought. I took another step and tried to reach it, but I had the same problem. I took a third step- And Lunatic suddenly appeared in front of me. "Waugh!" I yelped. Lunatic giggled again. "I apologize, dear human, but the look on your face was priceless." I grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. So what now?" "Now, we keep walking. In a short time this tunnel will become too dark to see. When this happens, place your hand on my side and I will guide you the rest of the way. You may also hear a voice. If you do, be aware that its offer is genuine." "Offer? What offer?" Lunatic shook her head. "With your immunity to magic I doubt you will even have to deal with it, but I wanted you to be prepared just in case. Now please, come along." I hesitated, then followed Lunatic. We were in a canyon made of the same stone as the cliffside that Lunatic had walked into. Our path was dimly illuminated by the natural moonlight shining down on us, but as we walked I noticed a dark mist that slowly suffused the air around us. Soon it became too dark to see, as Lunatic had warned. I reached out and placed a hand on Lunatic's side and we continued walking though the blackness. Completely blind, I could only trust my senses of touch and hearing. I felt Lunatic's body holding my hand up as she guided me forward. I heard my own breathing, loud in my ears. I heard the noise of rocks crunching underneath our feet and the soft clopping sound of Lunatic's footsteps, but I couldn't see anything. I waved my free hand in front of my face. I saw nothing, even though the hand was only inches away from my face. I stopped walking and took my hand off Lunatic's flank. "Wait," I said. "What is it?" Lunatic asked. "Shh-shh-shh. Just... give me a second." I closed my eyes and just listened. Silence, pure and profound. After a minute of this I opened my eyes and placed my hand back on her flank. "Thank you," I said. "You're welcome," she replied, "but I'm not sure I understand what that was." I smiled. "In Ponyville, even in the dead of night, there was always some creature making noise, and there was always something casting light; the chirping of crickets, the croak of the bullfrog, the light cast by a hundred different houses. Here, though..." I trailed off. I couldn't put into words how I had just wanted to stop and experience the silence and the absolute darkness. Lunatic seemed to understand my thoughts, though. We walked a few more steps before I added, "and the company didn't hurt much, either," and playfully bumped her in the side with my hip. I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "I am glad you feel that way, human." "Please, call me Derrick." We kept walking, and eventually I saw a glimmer of light in my vision. I shook my head, thinking it a trick of my eyes, but the tiny pinprick of light in front of us remained. As time passed and we continued to walk, the pinprick grew larger. Without any reference points I didn't realize until we were almost on top of it that it was an exit, and that the light came from what lay beyond. "Welcome..." Lunatic said, "to the Kingdom of Darkness." Stepping outside, the first thing that caught my eye was a huge black spot that hung in the sky, surrounded by a brilliant white glow. It was many times larger than the sun or the moon, and it was this that illuminated the world in a dim light. The rest of the sky was a dark blue. "Is that... a solar eclipse?" I asked. Lunatic replied, "Appropriate, wouldn't you say? Celestia gets the sun, my dear sister Luna gets the moon, and I get something that is both and neither." I stared, entranced by the giant solar eclipse in front of me. "Would you like a minute to take this all in?" Lunatic asked. "I'mma need a minute," I said weakly. Lunatic and I walked down the path, moving down the mountainside. "So," I asked, "does that ever move in the sky?" Lunatic replied, "No. There is neither morning nor night-time here." "Really? So why do you call it 'Kingdom of Darkness'? It's really closer to twilight." Lunatic grimaced. "There are some ponies who tend to be quite over-dramatic. They started calling this realm the Kingdom of Darkness and it caught on with the rest of the herd. That reminds me: if the ponies offer you a sacrifice to 'appease your dark malevolence', please don't be upset. That's just how they say hello." I stared at her. "Really?" I asked her in a 'i'm totally judging you for this' tone of voice. She didn't respond. "So where will I be staying in The Dark Kingdom?" I asked, mockingly emphasizing the name. "You'll be staying with me in nightmaretown." "I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch it." Lunatic sighed. "I said, you'll be staying with me in Nightmare Town." I laughed. "Really? That's the name you chose?" "No," she said, now annoyed. "I wanted to call it something more elegant, but once the ponies saw what happened to them on this side of the mountain one of them coined the name and every pony started using it." "Wait, what do you mean, 'what happened to them on this side of the mountain'? Does this have anything to do with the offer you mentioned?" Lunatic nodded. "While walking through the darkness, every pony that went through heard a voice offering to alter their form into whatever they desired. Most of the ponies took this voice up on the offer. I wish to point out that I had nothing to do with this magic. It was something older and deeper than anything I'm familiar with." "Let me guess," I said. "This voice twisted their wishes and turned them into something horrible?" Lunatic sighed. "Yes and no. All of the ponies that I rescued from Equestria were chosen because they didn't fit in there. I didn't realize until much later that the sort of ponies who would take me up on my offer tend to have certain... predispositions." "And?" "And every one of them desired a form that was 'dark' or 'gothic'. Some of them even became changelings. Although I still can't tell if they were already changeling infiltrators that just didn't like their job, or if they were ponies that wanted to be changelings. Whenever I ask I'm just told, 'This is how I always was on the inside.'" I laughed. "So you're telling me that this Nightmare Town is populated by goths and freaks?" "That is a rather uncharitable way to put it, but yes. Essentially." I grinned. "Sounds like my kind of town." We walked on in silence, then something else occurred to me. "So, the changed ponies that live in Nightmare Town, what do they call themselves?" Lunatic replied in dull frustration, "Nightmare Ponies." "Hah!" Author's Note I mentioned this to one of the people commenting on the previous chapter, but I thought I'd extend the invitation to the rest of my readers as well. If you have an idea for a guest chapter or scene you'd like to write, PM me your idea and I'll see if we can work it in. Chapter 5Eventually the mountainside gave way to a black forest. The gnarled and twisted trees were made of dark red bark with black leaves. The bushes were black, streaked through with red and purple veins, and the black, dead leaves underfoot covered the ground completely. The path wound its way through the forest and the trees around it had grown in a dense pattern, hemming us in. The forest seemed to absorb what little light the eclipse cast in the sky; though there were the occasional gaps in the trees, they were too dark for me to see anything beyond the path. Somewhere in the distance, something made a horrible monstrous screeching noise. "What was that?" I asked nervously. "Be at peace," Lunatic said. "As long as you stay on the path, no harm can befall you." I relaxed a bit but didn't move away from Lunatic. We walked for another hour or two when I heard a soft and subtle song drifting through the forest: an ethereal melody sung in an unknown language. I couldn't make out any words, but it reminded me of hope and longing; of safety and reassurance. I looked around but I couldn't spot the source of the music. Through the gaps in the trees I saw a flowing white garment that almost immediately disappeared into the forest again. As Lunatic and I walked, the song rose and fell around us. It was joined by another voice, and another, creating a chorus that tugged at my heart and made me cry from the sheer beauty of the song. I spotted a large gap between the trees. Through this opening I saw several women in the distance that were gracefully dancing around the trees and each other. They wore long, flowing white garments. Curious, I walked towards them. As I got closer to them I could make out more of their features, but somehow they always turned so that their faces were obscured from me. "Derrick, no!" Lunatic yelled. The women gracefully spun around to face me. There were six of them, and they were had no eyes or ears or noses. Instead, they each had a single mouth that stretched from ear to ear, full of sharp fangs where normal teeth would be. I sprinted back towards the path as quickly as I could. As I ran, they jeered at me and taunted me. I could hear their voices coming from directly behind me as I attempted to outrun them. "Come with us, child," one of them called in a horrible high-pitched, whining voice. "Yes, come play with us," another said. "Let us dance with you!" "And we shall feast on your body and sup at your soul!" "Yes, let us feast upon you!" I managed to make it back to the path and looked behind me. The creatures flew back and forth just short of the path, as though some sort of barrier blocked their passage. They cursed and yelled, but they couldn't touch us. I was a little out of breath, but I didn't want to spend another minute near those horrible creatures. I continued walking down the path with Lunatic. For whatever reason, the creatures didn't follow us. "What were those?" I asked. "I do not know," Lunatic responded. "This realm contains many things that are darker and older than I am. I do my best to make it safe for my dark ponies, but there are always things that lurk out here in the shadows, just waiting for a chance to destroy you... or worse. You have seen one of the threats, but I fear that other things exist out here that are far worse." Lunatic turned to me. "Derrick," she said, "you must promise me something. No matter what happens, you must never travel into the darkness here; the uncharted territories. Even if I used the fullest extent of my abilities to protect you, I still could not guarantee your safety." I gulped and nodded. "I promise." We made the rest of the trip in silence. We emerged from the forest and entered Nightmare Town. As Lunatic and I walked through the town many of the ponies stared at us. They were similar in some ways to the ponies I'd seen in Equestria: four legs, a head, and a tail. However, that was where the similarities ended. Some of the pegasi had feathered wings, while others had bat wings. Some of the unicorns had malformed horns, or two horns. The pony coats and manes tended to be darker in color than their counterparts'. The most common color was black, followed by red and purple, followed by a sickly white color. A few of the ponies had fangs, and several of the ponies had almond-slitted eyes instead of the usual round ones. Overall, the ponies were taller and more muscular than their Equestrian counterparts. As I passed by the ponies in the town (who were still staring at me. A little creepy there) I noticed that their cutie marks were also darker in nature. One was an image of a rose wrapped around a bleeding heart symbol. Another was an image of a grinning skull. Yet another cutie mark was an image of a pair of handcuffs. I made a mental note to hit on the mare with the handcuff cutie mark later. I saw a pair of stallions that had feathered wings and a horn each. One of them had a black mane with a red coat, while the other had a red mane with a black coat. They were bickering with each other about which of the two were cooler. As we walked I realized that several ponies were following Lunatic and me. They didn't say anything; they just stared as they quietly followed from a safe distance. As we walked the herd behind us grew larger as more ponies followed us. "Um, Lunatic," I said, "I'm starting to get a little weirded out here." Lunatic responded, "I apologize, but this was the most effective way to gather them in one spot." "And why do you want to do that?" I asked. "I felt it would be best to get introductions out of the way as soon as possible. Unless... you're uncomfortable speaking to large crowds?" I stopped walking and looked around. Every single pony in the crowd was staring at me. I sighed. "No, I guess not. In the future, though, please discuss your plans for me, with me, before you make them." "My apologies," Lunatic said. "I'll do as you said." I looked around and asked Lunatic, "Is this enough ponies?" "I suppose so," she replied. "The rest will hear by word of mouth." "Ponies of the Dark Kingdom," Lunatic said, addressing the crowd, "this is Derrick from Earth. He has travelled a great distance to be here, so please do your best to make him feel welcome." I waved sheepishly. "Hiya," I said. Every pony just stared at me. I cleared my throat before continuing. "I was born and raised on the planet called Earth, before an unknown magic brought me to Equestria. Then..." Here I faltered. I wondered if I should I tell them about what happened with Celestia and Twilight. I decided to be circumspect about it. I continued, "Then it was discovered that I didn't fit in there, and Lunatic brought me here." More silence. "Oh, sorry," I said. "I guess you don't know who that is. Um, Nightmare Moon here took on a new name." I looked to her, and she nodded approval. "Now she now goes by 'Lunatic Fringe'." I was unprepared for what happened next. The entire crowd went nuts, cheering and clapping their hooves and stomping their feet. One of them even pumped their hoof in a circular motion in the air while chanting "woof! woof! woof!" I was stunned. Fortunately, Lunatic quickly calmed the crowd down. "So are you Lunatic's new Dark Consort?" one of the Dark Mares asked me. "What?" I yelped. "No!" "Are you one of the Elements of Disharmony?" asked another pony. "The elements of what?" I asked. Another voice piped up. "Is Lunatic one of the Elements?" Yet another voice said, "You mean Elements of Dark Harmony, right?" Several voices started talking over each other, making it hard to hear what any pony said. "No, that would be stupid. We're dark opposites, so-" "I'm telling you, they're called-" "No, no, no, it's 'Envy, Wrath,-'" "When have you ever gossiped about anything? If anything, you're the Element of-" "Ow, stop biting!" "Make me, noogie-head!" "That doesn't even make sense! Ow!" Lunatic used her magic to part the crowd. In the center of the magically-created clearing was two mares. The first mare had the second in a headlock and was punching her in the head, while the second mare was biting the first's arm. "Children, behave." Immediately both ponies let go of each other. "Now, if there aren't any more questions, Derrick and I are going to visit Green Groves and find a place for Derrick to stay." One of the ponies asked Lunatic, "Do you mean Dark Shimmer?" "What?" Lunatic asked, her voice monotone. "She goes by 'Dark Shimmer' now." Lunatic sighed. "Of course she does." Lunatic and I walked away from the crowd, who thankfully dispersed and went back to whatever they were doing before we showed up. "You see what I have to put up with?" Lunatic asked, sotto voce. " 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN?!"Lunatic Fringe and I walked in silence, the flickering light from the edges of the black spot in the sky casting odd shadows over the world around us. I stopped walking. "Lunatic?" "Yes, Derrick?" "What's the plan?" "We shall walk to Dark Shimmer's house and get information about your lodgings from her. Then we will meet each of her friends in turn and get you acquainted with the rest of the town. Once you've had time to settle in, perhaps a few weeks or so, we might discuss some minor tasks you could do for us. But there is no pressure." I fidgeted, shifting my body weight from side to side. "What if I don't want to do that?" I asked. Lunatic looked at me uncertainly. "Well, I suppose you don't have to work if you don't want to, but the success of our town requires that every pony do their part." I shook my head. "That's not what I meant," I said. "Think about it. One of the two rulers of Equestria and her personal student were both acting very out of character the last time I saw them. I don't know how much you remember about them from your time as Luna, but attempting to kill or imprison me, an innocent human, because of the actions of my species, without even giving me a chance to defend myself, goes contrary to almost everything I know about them." I took a deep breath. "I don't know exactly what it is, but I'm afraid there may be something very wrong in Equestria." Lunatic sighed. "I fear you may be right," she said, "but if there is something wrong, is it truly in your best interests to get involved? They have threatened you, attacked you, tried to kill and imprison you, and if you get involved again you may not be able to survive." She placed her hoof on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "You might die. I would do my best to protect you, but there is only so much I can do against such power." "Stay here with me," she continued. "Help me with my new kingdom. Be a pillar of strength for the ponies who would look to you for guidance." Lunatic blushed, her hoof still on my shoulder. I was suddenly very aware of how close her face was to mine. "...for all of the ponies who look up to you. Even the ones that aren't so little." I felt my face flush as I stared into her eyes. I understood what she was implying, but... I took her hoof off my shoulder but didn't move away from her. "I appreciate the offer, and once this is taken care of I may take you up on that. But right now? Something is wrong, and my friends are right in the middle of it. There's no way I could do any less." Lunatic smiled weakly. "Of course. Well, in that case let us travel to the Castle of the Third Sister. It is where I live when I spend time here, and there are some scrying magics there that may be useful to us." Lunatic kneeled and allowed me to get on her before she leaped into the air and took flight towards where the Everfree Forest would have been in Equestria. I had had time to think about it in the Everfree Forest and while walking with Lunatic to the Kingdom of Darkness, but it was only during this conversation with Lunatic that my thoughts crystallized. Something was wrong with Celestia and Twilight, and I needed to get to the bottom of it. Why had they acted the way they had? Was humanity truly so repulsive that simply being human was enough to scare them senseless? Was it something I had done? Perhaps most importantly, would I ever get my friends back? Meanwhile: Two ponies ran down the grey stone castle hallways, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs. One was a pegasus, the other was a unicorn. Both of them were covered in jungle camouflage and wearing pink earmuffs. The unicorn swung a rubber chicken in his telekinetic grip while the pegasus screamed, "AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?" Hrm. Maybe we should step back a few days. One week ago: The two armored guards took the train back to Canterlot in silence. Eventually the white pegasus spoke up. "Hey..." "Yeah?" "Actually, I was going to call you by your name, but I realized I don't know what it is." The grey unicorn grunted. "It's Flashbang." "Flashbang?" "Yeah." "And that spell you cast was a...?" "Flashbang." "And your cutie mark is of a..." "Flashbang. Look, is there anywhere you're going with this?" The white pegasus shifted uncomfortably. "Erm, not really. Look, did anything about that encounter seem... off... to you?" "What do you mean?" "Well, think about it. The only human in Equestria shows up, claiming that some unknown entity has brainwashed all the other guards, and that we should ignore anything they try to tell us. We know he was running from the guards." "Yeah. So?" "What if he lied to us? What if that was just an excuse to keep away from the rest of the guards who were trying to detain him for perfectly legitimate reasons? What if that whole brainwashing story was just to keep us from finding out we were supposed to stop him?" The pegasus continued frantically, "What if we were supposed to stop him, and he helped him instead? Oh, Celestia, we might have just aided a figutive from the law! You know what that makes us? Traitors!" Flashbang said, "Calm yourself. Let's look at this rationally. We're two intelligent ponies, right?" "Well, yeah." "It's a well-known fact that the smarter a pony is, the harder he is to fool. And there are the two of us here dealing with the one human, which means that, relatively speaking, we're twice as smart as he is." The pegasus smiled. "Oh, yeah." "So you see, it's very unlikely that the human fooled us." A long silence, then: "So then what are we going to do about the brainwashing? As far as we know, whoever was brainwashing the guards is still there. What if... what if he got to Celestia?" "Stow that talk! Princess Celestia is our leader and the pillar of our community. She's a paragon of mental strength and there's no way she would have fallen victim to some cheap voodoo mind tricks. She's just too strong for that!" "But what if she did? Think about it. What should we do?" There was a pause as Flashbang considered this before responding, "Whoever's doing this mustn't know that we're on to them. Whatever we do, it will have to be sneaky. It will have to be subtle, and it will have to be cunning." One week later the two guards stormed the castle wearing pink earmuffs and jungle camouflage, swinging a rubber chicken and yelling at the top of their lungs. Author's Note I honestly have no idea what their plan is. The Castle of the Third SisterLunatic Fringe's powerful wings beat beneath me and I felt weightless as she carried me through the air. The eclipse hung in the dark blue sky, almost directly over our heads. I looked over Lunatic's flank and saw our shadows riding the forest canopy below as the treetops constantly slipped away beneath us. As we drew closer to the Castle of the Third Sister I could make out details. The facade of the building was built in the style of a gothic cathedral. There were windows set in the wall that tapered to a point at the top, nestled between elaborate stone designs. Several spires jutted from the roof of the castle. Lunatic landed in front of a massive set of wooden double doors. Her horn flared cyan and the doors were enveloped in a dark purple aura. I heard gears turning and chains moving, then the double doors slowly opened with a loud creak. Lunatic took us inside, then her horn flared again and the doors slammed shut behind us, leaving us in total darkness. I heard the sound of mechanisms working again, then silence. Lunatic's horn flared again, and in a solemn voice she said, "I have returned." A bright white light flared up in front of and high above us, cast by a large crystal globe. The light illuminated an incredibly large entrance hall. I could have thrown a tennis ball as hard as I could and it would have taken several seconds to reach the other end. There were staircases to either side of me, leading to a sort of balcony that ran the entire length of the entrance hall, supported by pillars at regular intervals. I dismounted Lunatic and walked beside her. "Okay, so... where do we go now?" I asked. "Have you forgotten why you came here already?" she chided playfully. "No, I remember. I'm just not sure what the next step is. You said something about scrying?" "There is a room in the castle specially designed for casting such spells. Please, follow me." Lunatic guided me through several rooms, hallways, and staircases. Each one was equisitely designed, and no two were alike. More than once I stopped walking to stare at the decor, and each time I did Lunatic gently nudged me to remind me to keep moving. Finally we arrived at our destination. The room was tall and circular, with pillars that reached all the way to the ceiling set flush against the walls at regular intervals. The wall at the far end of the room contained a large glass window through which I could see the dark blue sky. On the ground in front of us was a complex magical circle etched into the stone floor. It was to this circle that Lunatic made her way. "Please stay back from the circle," she said. "I'll be casting a simple scrying spell inside it, and if you break the circle I'll have to start over." I nodded. Lunatic walked to the center of the magic circle, closed her eyes, and started to chant. I summon thee, oh nameless one, Guardian of Forever and Speaker of the Truth, Lighter of Ways and Extinguisher of Dreams. I implore thee, open mine eyes and show me that which I would know. The circle around Lunatic glowed white. The glow then shot upwards, illuminating Lunatic in a column of light. Her entire body lifted off the ground, floating in mid-air. Her mane floated around her head. Her eyes snapped open. Instead her normal cat's-eyes, both of her eyes were a solid white that glowed brightly. The column of light faded away and Lunatic slowly landed on the ground, but her eyes continued to glow white as she stared straight at me. "You may have one question, mortal," she said in a voice that reverberated with power. Unlike her normal voice, it seemed there was a second, hidden one, echoing along with her words. I won't lie, I got a little nervous there. I wasn't certain, but this didn't sound like the simple scrying spell that Lunatic had described. Still, I wasn't going to let that stop me from doing what needed to be done. "Actually," I replied, "I have two questions. My friends, two of the most powerful and influential ponies in Equestria, are behaving erratically and dangerously. I wish to know what has caused their behavior, and I wish to know how I can fix it." Lunatic fixed me with her glowing white gaze. Her expression didn't change, but I got the sense that she (or rather, whatever was talking to me through her) wasn't happy with me. "You may have one question. Choose." I shook my head. "Knowing what's wrong won't help if I can't solve the problem, and I might not be able to solve the problem if I blindly follow instructions without understanding why. Both of my questions stand." I held my breath as Lunatic stared at me dispassionately. I knew I was playing with fire, but I needed this information. Finally she said, "Very well. You shall have the information you desire. But there will be a price." "If there is a price," I responded, "let me be the one to pay it. Nobody else should have to suffer for my gain." Lunatic smiled wickedly. "My, but mortals have become interesting in my absence. It is a deal." With that the nameless one told me what had happened to Twilight and Celestia. It actually wasn't as bad as I had feared. It was much, much worse. Chapter 8Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Chapter 1Have you heard the joke about the human male who was transported to Equestria against his will? Oh, you're gonna love this one. See, one day this guy gets sucked into Equestria. Let's say a vortex opens up and sucks him in, spitting him out just outside of Ponyville. Now the guy is completely on his own. No money to his name, no friends, and nobody to turn to for support. Are you laughing yet? Just wait, it gets better. So there are some misunderstandings, but eventually he wins the ponies over and becomes a trusted friend to them. And then one night Twilight Sparkle looks into an enchanted mirror and sees the worst humanity has to offer. Wars and crimes, violence and rape, and a thousand petty little offences that make the world an overall worse place to live. So Twilight talks to Celestia, and the two princesses together devise a plan so cunning, Baldrick could have invented it. First, they lure him to the royal castle in Canterlot. Then, Twilight draws his attention as Celestia casts a spell to incinerate him! Doesn't that make you just want to laugh? ... No? Me either. But as an ex-girlfriend once said, "If I couldn't laugh, I'd cry." When Celestia tried to incinerate me I didn't realize what was happening. I thought maybe it was a spell misfire, or a mistake of some sort. All I knew was that I'd been hit by a blinding white light and the air around me was scorching hot for several seconds. Somehow, though, I didn't take any damage. When the spell ended Celestia was panting heavily, the floor around me had scorch marks, and I was blinking spots out of my eyes. "Whoa, careful there!" I said. "You almost hurt somebody with that thing!" And yes, I'm aware now of the irony of what I said. Celestia's eye widened in surprise, and next to me Twilight yelled, "It's not working! Do it again!" I turned to face Twilight, who stood several paces away from me. Up until that point she had been nervously rambling on about the finer points of Starswirl the Bearded's Fourth Theorem and its general applications... or something. I dunno, I kind of tuned her out. I asked her, "What do you mean it's not-AUGH!" My world was again blinding light and scorching heat. I instinctively covered myself with my arms and yelled, "This is really starting to piss me off!" The spell ended, and Celestia looked shocked. "Okay, somebody level with me. Just what the hell is going on here?" I asked angrily. There was that awkward "I just tried to kill somebody and now they're being petulant about it" pause that often occurs in situations like this. Finally, Celestia answered. Her gaze sharpened as she stared at me resolutely. If there's one thing I knew, it was that Celestia was a fair and just ruler. If anybody could clear this mess up, it would be her. "We do not have to answer your question." she said. My brain locked up as I tried to process what I heard. Then, once I realized that yes, I did hear what I thought I did, I got angry. "Okay, fine," I said through gritted teeth. "Then answer me this: DID YOU JUST TRY TO KILL ME?!" Celestia stared at me stoically and refused to say anything. Next to me, Twilight didn't have nearly the same composure. "Oh god," she said frantically, "he's going to kill us. Oh god, oh god, oh god." I stared at Twilight. Had everybody here gone crazy or something? Where on earth had Twilight gotten the impression that I was a homicidal maniac? I mean sure, I was upset, but that didn't mean I was going to attack her, and it certainly didn't mean I was going to kill her! I was stuck with two conflicting urges. The first was to reassure Twilight. I didn't know what was going on, but she was my friend and I owed it to her, and to myself, to fix this misunderstanding. The second urge was to throw my hands up and just head home. Let the craziness sort itself out and get back to my nice, warm, comforting, bed. After a quick internal argument I decided to stay and try to reassure Twilight. I crouched down and gently spoke to Twilight. "Twilight, look at me," I said as reassuringly as possible. "I don't know why you would think that, but you're wrong. You're my friend, and I would never let anything bad happen to you." By this point Twilight had retreated into a curled, shaking, fetal position on the floor. At my words she stopped shaking and slowly looked up at me. "Really?" she asked. "Really really," I said, recalling a running gag between us. Twilight started to uncurl from her position on the floor and then- To this day I don't know what went through her head. One second it looked like she was going to trust me, then the next second her eyes got wide and she yelled, "He's lying! Celestia, hit him again!" Celestia, to her credit, did nothing. There was an aura around her horn, but it didn't appear to be doing anything. I straightened up. "Perhaps you could tell me what's going on?" I asked Celestia. "We owe you no explanation, intruder from another world!" I was shocked. The ponies had always known that I was from a different dimension, and it had never been a problem before. This meant the venom I heard in Celestia's words took me completely by surprise. "In fact," she continued, "I see no reason to allow you your freedom from here on out. Guards!" Oh, hell. This day had just gone from bad to worse. I sprinted for the exit. Two guards entered through the double-doors just as I reached them. Without missing a beat I vaulted over one of them and kept running as if my life depended on it. With the way things were going, it probably did. Behind me, I heard Celestia bellow, "Don't let him get away!" Lovely. Author's Note Yes, I'm aware that Celestia and Twilight are acting very out of character here. Trust me, there's a reason for this, even if it won't be explained for a while.
Chapter 2As I ran for my life I mentally reviewed my options. • Go back and try to convince Twilight and Celestia that they were mistaken about me. Hah! Fat chance of that. Twilight had a nervous breakdown and Celestia wasn't giving me anything to work with. • Escape from the castle and head back home. No good, either. That's the first place they'd be expecting me. • Find Luna and have her help me. Too risky. With everything that's happened, I don't know how Luna feels about me. She may be able to help, but she may also side with her sister and have me locked up. If that happens, I don't like my chances of being able to escape again. • Go someplace nopony would ever follow me. I didn't like it, but it seemed to be my best choice. And there was only one place I could think of that nopony in their right mind would go: the Everfree Forest. Unfortunately, there was a castle full of guards trying to capture me. I still needed to figure out a way to get out of the castle and all the way to Everfree Forest without being caught. As I turned a corner I saw two guards standing watch: a white pegasus and a grey unicorn. A plan hatched in my mind, developing as I talked. "You, there!" I said, pointing to one. "And you!" I said, pointing at the other. "This is a royal emergency. Under the orders of Princess Celestia, I'm commandeering your services. There's been a break-in. An enemy magic-user has cast a spell to brainwash the Royal Guard. Celestia tasked me with a top-secret mission that requires me to get to the Everfree Forest, and I'm tasking you two with getting me there safely. I take it you know where the Everfree Forest is?" Both guards nodded once, sharply. "Excellent. I believe the brainwashing spell is transmitted through words, so if you hear another guard trying to tell you something, ignore it. Do your best to block it out. Plug your ears if you have to. The mission is of the utmost priority, so under no circumstances are you to allow me to become detained. Do you understand?" The guards nodded again. "Good. Now tell me, what would be the fastest route to the Everfree that would avoid as many guards as we can?" The guards paused and looked at each other. Finally the pegasus spoke up, "I suppose that would be the service tunnels. It'll be a little cramped, but from there you can get to the outskirts of Canterlot. Then we can commandeer a train under Her Majesty's Order, which should bring us to Ponyville in a matter of hours." "Which way are the tunnels from here?" I asked. The pegasus pointed down a hallway. "We go that way until we hit-" At this point several other guards ran into view. "There he is!" One of them yelled. "Stop him!" "Whoops, running now!" I yelled and ran in the direction the pegasus guard had indicated, followed shortly by the two guards. There was a bright flash behind me, and a chorus of yells and groans went up behind me. "What was that?" I asked, not daring to look back. "A flashbang spell," the unicorn guard running beside me said. "That should buy us enough time to get to the service tunnels." I grinned and said to the unicorn guard, "Dude, you rock." We walked down the service tunnels for what felt like hours. It was probably closer to a half-hour, but it felt like hours. My feet ached, my muscles burnt from all the sprinting I had done, and the guards were absolutely no help when it came to distracting myself with conversation. If I asked either one of them a direct question they would answer it, but any attempts to strike up a conversation was met with stony silence. After a few attempts I gave up and we walked in silence. Occasionally we would come to an intersection. Whenever this happened the guards would inspect the arrows painted on the walls, then walk in the direction indicated by at least one of the arrows. Eventually we reached the exit: an unmarked door set into the wall at the end of the tunnel. We walked through it, emerging about half a mile from the castle. Then we walked to the Canterlot trainyard and commandeered a train and a conductor to drive it. The train dropped me off in Ponyville, then the guards took the same train back to Canterlot while I walked to my place to load up on supplies. I felt bad for the lambasting those two guards were sure to get for aiding a fugitive, but my survival took priority over everything else. Twilight and Celestia were both in Canterlot, so I should have had some time to grab some supplies from my place. On the other hand, I wasn't sure what sort of magic or technology the princesses had at their disposal. What was the maximum range on teleportation, for example? If Celestia was strong enough, could she teleport all the way to Ponyville? At times like that I wished I'd paid more attention to Twilight Sparkle's rambles about magic. Then I snorted. No, even knowing my life could depend on that knowledge I still wouldn't have paid attention. Those monologues were boring! But the point remained: I had no idea when or if the princesses would be arriving here in Ponyville. That meant I had to gather as many supplies as I could as quickly as I could, then get the hell out of town. I grabbed my backpack and stuffed it full of food and whatever gear might be appropriate for a survival situation. I was going to be in the Everfree Forest for an indeterminate amount of time, so I had to make sure I took anything I couldn't easily make on my own. By the time I finished, my backpack was stuffed with food and survival supplies. I locked the door and left the house, only to bump straight into Rarity. I meant that literally, by the way. I turned a corner and collided with her, knocking both of us over. I picked myself back up and offered her a hand. "Are you okay?" I asked. Rarity's eyes widened in terror and she turned around and bolted back the direction she'd come. Great. Whatever was going on, it was spreading. I needed to get out of here as quickly as I could. I started jogging towards the Everfree Forest.
Chapter 3A week of living in the Everfree. A week of scavenging for whatever food I could find to survive on. The rations I had packed were long gone, even with the occasional scavenged food to supplement them. I had no skill in hunting, and on my second day I was attacked by a monster that almost killed me. I managed to escape, but from then on I jumped at every noise, afraid that the monster had found me again and wanted to finish the job. A week of being cold and hungry and miserable and afraid. Except when it rained. Then I was wet and cold and hungry and miserable and afraid. I was in hell. You know, you never really appreciate creature comforts until you're stuck without them. If Princess Celestia had appeared to me and offered to give me a hot shower and a nice hot meal before executing me I probably would have seriously considered it. Princess Celestia did not find me that night, but something else did. I was sitting on a log in a small, secluded clearing I'd found. My eyelids were heavy and I found it hard to stay awake. The sound of a snapping branch brought me back to full alertness. I jumped to my feet, grabbed a heavy stick I'd harvested for just this purpose, and took a batter's stance with it, looking around me wildly for the source of the noise. "Back off!" I yelled. "Whatever's out there, back off! I'm armed and I'm extremely dangerous, so if you don't want to be knocked the fuck out, just back off!" The last words came out in a strangled, hysterical yell, but I was beyond caring at that point. I heard a female voice chuckle as two light blue eyes glowed at the edge of the clearing. The whites of the eyes weren't white at all but a light blue color, and the pupils of the eyes were narrow, almond-shaped slits, like a cat's eyes. A dark mist obscured the rest of the creature from view. The dark mist coalesced into a equine shape that I suddenly recognized. She was a black alicorn equal in size to Celestia. Her mane did the same ethereal, floaty-starry thing that Luna's did, and she wore distinctive light blue armor, helmet, and hoof-protectors. "Nightmare Moon," I said, by way of greeting. "Calm yourself, human," she said. "I mean you no harm." Failing to be reassured by her words, I kept my stick cocked in exactly the same position. Seconds passed and neither of us moved. Finally, I nervously blurted, "Just stay there. Stay where you are." I don't know what I expected her to do. Perhaps for her to laugh at my demand. Or perhaps for her to ignore my words and slowly walk towards me, like you sometimes see on television shows. But she did neither. She just smiled serenely and said, "As you wish." More awkward silence. When I could bear it no longer I asked, "Why are you here?" She responded, "I heard about your misfortunes, and I wish to help you." I scoffed. "Yeah, right. You must think I'm a real idiot. The last time you showed up you tried to blanket Equestria in eternal night. Why on earth should I trust you?" "Think back to the stories," she said. "I tried to bring eternal night, yes, and then I was defeated by the Elements of Harmony. The Elements could have destroyed me then and there, but for some reason I still don't understand, they didn't. Instead, they purged me of my evil and separated me from Luna. Ever since then I have been travelling Equestria, attempting to make amends for my crimes." "So what, you're a good Nightmare Moon now?" She merely nodded. "Assuming that this is all true, which I don't believe for a second, but assuming it is true, what do you want from me?" "Right now, I wish nothing more for you than to get you somewhere safe. You've been on your own for a while, now, and I don't know how much longer you can survive like this." "Hey, I've been doing pretty good for myself," I protested, my ego briefly getting the better of me. "Perhaps you have," she said, "but what will you do during the fall, when food becomes scare? I'm offering you a better choice. Come with me and I shall feed you and keep you warm and safe." "I don't know. What would you want in return?" "Perhaps, in the future, there are some tasks I could have you do, but I will feed you and keep you safe regardless of whether or not you choose to do them for me. On this you have my word." I sighed and threw my stick to the ground. "Lady," I said, "you had me at 'food'." Nightmare Moon smiled. "I am glad to hear it," she said. "Yeah, yeah. So how are we supposed to get to... wherever it is we're going?" "Just place your hand on my side and I shall transport us to the Dark Kingdom." I looked at her questioningly. "The Dark Kingdom?" "Yes, what of it?" "Oh, I don't know. It just seems a bit melodramatic to me. 'Let us travel... to the Kingdom of Darkness!'" Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon didn't understand that I was just mocking a pretentious style of speech and didn't actually mean what I said. "Very well then," she said, "let us be off!" Before I could respond she placed her hoof on my shoulder, her horn flared cyan, and there was a bright flash of white light. It took me several seconds for my night vision to return, but when it did I realized that I was in the exact same place I had been before. Nightmare Moon was nowhere to be seen. I groaned once I realized what had happened. As I'd learned in Celestia's chambers, I was immune to at least one type of magic. Unfortunately, this immunity also appeared to extend to teleportation. Nightmare Moon's spell took her where she wanted to go, but it hadn't been able to take me with her. I sat down on a log and waited. I don't know if you've ever had an alicorn fly you around before, but it is an incredible experience. I highly recommend you experience it at least once in your lifetime. A full moon lit the night landscape as I watched trees and streams and the occasional house pass beneath us. In the distance I saw a dark blob against the night sky that Nightmare Moon explained to me was Cloudsdale when I asked her about it. Eventually we landed on a narrow path leading up the side of a small mountain. I dismounted and followed Nightmare Moon up the trail. "So Nightmare Moon," I asked her, "do you have any name besides that?" She replied, "No. Nightmare Moon is the only name I have to call my own. I was called Luna once, but that is no longer my name." "Well, I can't keep calling you Nightmare Moon. It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, and it gives entirely the wrong impression about you. What if I gave you a new name?" Nightmare Moon stopped short on the path, looking at me in surprise. "You would do this for me?" "What, give you a new name? I don't see why not. How about... Lunatic Fringe? It's a term from my world that means somebody eccentric or who holds abnormal beliefs." "Lunatic Fringe..." she said a few times, rolling the name around in her mouth. "Yes. Yes, I like it. From now on, you may call me... Lunatic." "Hmm. Actually, I'm not so sure I like it now. Maybe we could come up with a new name that doesn't indicate that you're insane?" But the mare hadn't heard me. She was too wrapped up in the enjoyment of the new name. "Yes, this is perfect! Lunatic Fringe! 'Greetings, fellow pony! I am Lunatic Fringe!'" Lunatic grabbed me and wrapped me in a hug that I definitely wasn't expecting. "Thank you so much!" "Erf! It was nothing, think nothing of it." Lunatic starting bouncing with joy as she made her way up the mountain path. I mean that literally; she did the same thing I'd seen Pinkie Pie do on occasion, where she would kick off with all four feet at the same time, bouncing herself forward. I shook my head in amusement and followed her up the path. Author's Note Remember: Fringe-ship is Magic!
Chapter 4Lunatic stopped walking. "We are here," she said. I looked around. I could see nothing of interest in any direction. In front of us and behind us, the path continued to wind its way up and down the mountain. To my left was a downward slope that ran all the way to the bottom of the mountain. To my right was the base of a sheer cliff that rose up the mountainside. "Are you sure?" I asked dubiously. Lunatic simply smiled and walked to the base of the cliff. And then she was gone. "Lunatic?" I asked nervously. "Where'd you go?" I heard her giggle. "Calm yourself, human. I'm still right here. Follow me." I hesitantly walked towards the natural wall of rock. I reached out to touch the wall, only to realize it was further away than I thought. I took another step and tried to reach it, but I had the same problem. I took a third step- And Lunatic suddenly appeared in front of me. "Waugh!" I yelped. Lunatic giggled again. "I apologize, dear human, but the look on your face was priceless." I grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. So what now?" "Now, we keep walking. In a short time this tunnel will become too dark to see. When this happens, place your hand on my side and I will guide you the rest of the way. You may also hear a voice. If you do, be aware that its offer is genuine." "Offer? What offer?" Lunatic shook her head. "With your immunity to magic I doubt you will even have to deal with it, but I wanted you to be prepared just in case. Now please, come along." I hesitated, then followed Lunatic. We were in a canyon made of the same stone as the cliffside that Lunatic had walked into. Our path was dimly illuminated by the natural moonlight shining down on us, but as we walked I noticed a dark mist that slowly suffused the air around us. Soon it became too dark to see, as Lunatic had warned. I reached out and placed a hand on Lunatic's side and we continued walking though the blackness. Completely blind, I could only trust my senses of touch and hearing. I felt Lunatic's body holding my hand up as she guided me forward. I heard my own breathing, loud in my ears. I heard the noise of rocks crunching underneath our feet and the soft clopping sound of Lunatic's footsteps, but I couldn't see anything. I waved my free hand in front of my face. I saw nothing, even though the hand was only inches away from my face. I stopped walking and took my hand off Lunatic's flank. "Wait," I said. "What is it?" Lunatic asked. "Shh-shh-shh. Just... give me a second." I closed my eyes and just listened. Silence, pure and profound. After a minute of this I opened my eyes and placed my hand back on her flank. "Thank you," I said. "You're welcome," she replied, "but I'm not sure I understand what that was." I smiled. "In Ponyville, even in the dead of night, there was always some creature making noise, and there was always something casting light; the chirping of crickets, the croak of the bullfrog, the light cast by a hundred different houses. Here, though..." I trailed off. I couldn't put into words how I had just wanted to stop and experience the silence and the absolute darkness. Lunatic seemed to understand my thoughts, though. We walked a few more steps before I added, "and the company didn't hurt much, either," and playfully bumped her in the side with my hip. I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "I am glad you feel that way, human." "Please, call me Derrick." We kept walking, and eventually I saw a glimmer of light in my vision. I shook my head, thinking it a trick of my eyes, but the tiny pinprick of light in front of us remained. As time passed and we continued to walk, the pinprick grew larger. Without any reference points I didn't realize until we were almost on top of it that it was an exit, and that the light came from what lay beyond. "Welcome..." Lunatic said, "to the Kingdom of Darkness." Stepping outside, the first thing that caught my eye was a huge black spot that hung in the sky, surrounded by a brilliant white glow. It was many times larger than the sun or the moon, and it was this that illuminated the world in a dim light. The rest of the sky was a dark blue. "Is that... a solar eclipse?" I asked. Lunatic replied, "Appropriate, wouldn't you say? Celestia gets the sun, my dear sister Luna gets the moon, and I get something that is both and neither." I stared, entranced by the giant solar eclipse in front of me. "Would you like a minute to take this all in?" Lunatic asked. "I'mma need a minute," I said weakly. Lunatic and I walked down the path, moving down the mountainside. "So," I asked, "does that ever move in the sky?" Lunatic replied, "No. There is neither morning nor night-time here." "Really? So why do you call it 'Kingdom of Darkness'? It's really closer to twilight." Lunatic grimaced. "There are some ponies who tend to be quite over-dramatic. They started calling this realm the Kingdom of Darkness and it caught on with the rest of the herd. That reminds me: if the ponies offer you a sacrifice to 'appease your dark malevolence', please don't be upset. That's just how they say hello." I stared at her. "Really?" I asked her in a 'i'm totally judging you for this' tone of voice. She didn't respond. "So where will I be staying in The Dark Kingdom?" I asked, mockingly emphasizing the name. "You'll be staying with me in nightmaretown." "I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch it." Lunatic sighed. "I said, you'll be staying with me in Nightmare Town." I laughed. "Really? That's the name you chose?" "No," she said, now annoyed. "I wanted to call it something more elegant, but once the ponies saw what happened to them on this side of the mountain one of them coined the name and every pony started using it." "Wait, what do you mean, 'what happened to them on this side of the mountain'? Does this have anything to do with the offer you mentioned?" Lunatic nodded. "While walking through the darkness, every pony that went through heard a voice offering to alter their form into whatever they desired. Most of the ponies took this voice up on the offer. I wish to point out that I had nothing to do with this magic. It was something older and deeper than anything I'm familiar with." "Let me guess," I said. "This voice twisted their wishes and turned them into something horrible?" Lunatic sighed. "Yes and no. All of the ponies that I rescued from Equestria were chosen because they didn't fit in there. I didn't realize until much later that the sort of ponies who would take me up on my offer tend to have certain... predispositions." "And?" "And every one of them desired a form that was 'dark' or 'gothic'. Some of them even became changelings. Although I still can't tell if they were already changeling infiltrators that just didn't like their job, or if they were ponies that wanted to be changelings. Whenever I ask I'm just told, 'This is how I always was on the inside.'" I laughed. "So you're telling me that this Nightmare Town is populated by goths and freaks?" "That is a rather uncharitable way to put it, but yes. Essentially." I grinned. "Sounds like my kind of town." We walked on in silence, then something else occurred to me. "So, the changed ponies that live in Nightmare Town, what do they call themselves?" Lunatic replied in dull frustration, "Nightmare Ponies." "Hah!" Author's Note I mentioned this to one of the people commenting on the previous chapter, but I thought I'd extend the invitation to the rest of my readers as well. If you have an idea for a guest chapter or scene you'd like to write, PM me your idea and I'll see if we can work it in.
Chapter 5Eventually the mountainside gave way to a black forest. The gnarled and twisted trees were made of dark red bark with black leaves. The bushes were black, streaked through with red and purple veins, and the black, dead leaves underfoot covered the ground completely. The path wound its way through the forest and the trees around it had grown in a dense pattern, hemming us in. The forest seemed to absorb what little light the eclipse cast in the sky; though there were the occasional gaps in the trees, they were too dark for me to see anything beyond the path. Somewhere in the distance, something made a horrible monstrous screeching noise. "What was that?" I asked nervously. "Be at peace," Lunatic said. "As long as you stay on the path, no harm can befall you." I relaxed a bit but didn't move away from Lunatic. We walked for another hour or two when I heard a soft and subtle song drifting through the forest: an ethereal melody sung in an unknown language. I couldn't make out any words, but it reminded me of hope and longing; of safety and reassurance. I looked around but I couldn't spot the source of the music. Through the gaps in the trees I saw a flowing white garment that almost immediately disappeared into the forest again. As Lunatic and I walked, the song rose and fell around us. It was joined by another voice, and another, creating a chorus that tugged at my heart and made me cry from the sheer beauty of the song. I spotted a large gap between the trees. Through this opening I saw several women in the distance that were gracefully dancing around the trees and each other. They wore long, flowing white garments. Curious, I walked towards them. As I got closer to them I could make out more of their features, but somehow they always turned so that their faces were obscured from me. "Derrick, no!" Lunatic yelled. The women gracefully spun around to face me. There were six of them, and they were had no eyes or ears or noses. Instead, they each had a single mouth that stretched from ear to ear, full of sharp fangs where normal teeth would be. I sprinted back towards the path as quickly as I could. As I ran, they jeered at me and taunted me. I could hear their voices coming from directly behind me as I attempted to outrun them. "Come with us, child," one of them called in a horrible high-pitched, whining voice. "Yes, come play with us," another said. "Let us dance with you!" "And we shall feast on your body and sup at your soul!" "Yes, let us feast upon you!" I managed to make it back to the path and looked behind me. The creatures flew back and forth just short of the path, as though some sort of barrier blocked their passage. They cursed and yelled, but they couldn't touch us. I was a little out of breath, but I didn't want to spend another minute near those horrible creatures. I continued walking down the path with Lunatic. For whatever reason, the creatures didn't follow us. "What were those?" I asked. "I do not know," Lunatic responded. "This realm contains many things that are darker and older than I am. I do my best to make it safe for my dark ponies, but there are always things that lurk out here in the shadows, just waiting for a chance to destroy you... or worse. You have seen one of the threats, but I fear that other things exist out here that are far worse." Lunatic turned to me. "Derrick," she said, "you must promise me something. No matter what happens, you must never travel into the darkness here; the uncharted territories. Even if I used the fullest extent of my abilities to protect you, I still could not guarantee your safety." I gulped and nodded. "I promise." We made the rest of the trip in silence. We emerged from the forest and entered Nightmare Town. As Lunatic and I walked through the town many of the ponies stared at us. They were similar in some ways to the ponies I'd seen in Equestria: four legs, a head, and a tail. However, that was where the similarities ended. Some of the pegasi had feathered wings, while others had bat wings. Some of the unicorns had malformed horns, or two horns. The pony coats and manes tended to be darker in color than their counterparts'. The most common color was black, followed by red and purple, followed by a sickly white color. A few of the ponies had fangs, and several of the ponies had almond-slitted eyes instead of the usual round ones. Overall, the ponies were taller and more muscular than their Equestrian counterparts. As I passed by the ponies in the town (who were still staring at me. A little creepy there) I noticed that their cutie marks were also darker in nature. One was an image of a rose wrapped around a bleeding heart symbol. Another was an image of a grinning skull. Yet another cutie mark was an image of a pair of handcuffs. I made a mental note to hit on the mare with the handcuff cutie mark later. I saw a pair of stallions that had feathered wings and a horn each. One of them had a black mane with a red coat, while the other had a red mane with a black coat. They were bickering with each other about which of the two were cooler. As we walked I realized that several ponies were following Lunatic and me. They didn't say anything; they just stared as they quietly followed from a safe distance. As we walked the herd behind us grew larger as more ponies followed us. "Um, Lunatic," I said, "I'm starting to get a little weirded out here." Lunatic responded, "I apologize, but this was the most effective way to gather them in one spot." "And why do you want to do that?" I asked. "I felt it would be best to get introductions out of the way as soon as possible. Unless... you're uncomfortable speaking to large crowds?" I stopped walking and looked around. Every single pony in the crowd was staring at me. I sighed. "No, I guess not. In the future, though, please discuss your plans for me, with me, before you make them." "My apologies," Lunatic said. "I'll do as you said." I looked around and asked Lunatic, "Is this enough ponies?" "I suppose so," she replied. "The rest will hear by word of mouth." "Ponies of the Dark Kingdom," Lunatic said, addressing the crowd, "this is Derrick from Earth. He has travelled a great distance to be here, so please do your best to make him feel welcome." I waved sheepishly. "Hiya," I said. Every pony just stared at me. I cleared my throat before continuing. "I was born and raised on the planet called Earth, before an unknown magic brought me to Equestria. Then..." Here I faltered. I wondered if I should I tell them about what happened with Celestia and Twilight. I decided to be circumspect about it. I continued, "Then it was discovered that I didn't fit in there, and Lunatic brought me here." More silence. "Oh, sorry," I said. "I guess you don't know who that is. Um, Nightmare Moon here took on a new name." I looked to her, and she nodded approval. "Now she now goes by 'Lunatic Fringe'." I was unprepared for what happened next. The entire crowd went nuts, cheering and clapping their hooves and stomping their feet. One of them even pumped their hoof in a circular motion in the air while chanting "woof! woof! woof!" I was stunned. Fortunately, Lunatic quickly calmed the crowd down. "So are you Lunatic's new Dark Consort?" one of the Dark Mares asked me. "What?" I yelped. "No!" "Are you one of the Elements of Disharmony?" asked another pony. "The elements of what?" I asked. Another voice piped up. "Is Lunatic one of the Elements?" Yet another voice said, "You mean Elements of Dark Harmony, right?" Several voices started talking over each other, making it hard to hear what any pony said. "No, that would be stupid. We're dark opposites, so-" "I'm telling you, they're called-" "No, no, no, it's 'Envy, Wrath,-'" "When have you ever gossiped about anything? If anything, you're the Element of-" "Ow, stop biting!" "Make me, noogie-head!" "That doesn't even make sense! Ow!" Lunatic used her magic to part the crowd. In the center of the magically-created clearing was two mares. The first mare had the second in a headlock and was punching her in the head, while the second mare was biting the first's arm. "Children, behave." Immediately both ponies let go of each other. "Now, if there aren't any more questions, Derrick and I are going to visit Green Groves and find a place for Derrick to stay." One of the ponies asked Lunatic, "Do you mean Dark Shimmer?" "What?" Lunatic asked, her voice monotone. "She goes by 'Dark Shimmer' now." Lunatic sighed. "Of course she does." Lunatic and I walked away from the crowd, who thankfully dispersed and went back to whatever they were doing before we showed up. "You see what I have to put up with?" Lunatic asked, sotto voce.
" 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN?!"Lunatic Fringe and I walked in silence, the flickering light from the edges of the black spot in the sky casting odd shadows over the world around us. I stopped walking. "Lunatic?" "Yes, Derrick?" "What's the plan?" "We shall walk to Dark Shimmer's house and get information about your lodgings from her. Then we will meet each of her friends in turn and get you acquainted with the rest of the town. Once you've had time to settle in, perhaps a few weeks or so, we might discuss some minor tasks you could do for us. But there is no pressure." I fidgeted, shifting my body weight from side to side. "What if I don't want to do that?" I asked. Lunatic looked at me uncertainly. "Well, I suppose you don't have to work if you don't want to, but the success of our town requires that every pony do their part." I shook my head. "That's not what I meant," I said. "Think about it. One of the two rulers of Equestria and her personal student were both acting very out of character the last time I saw them. I don't know how much you remember about them from your time as Luna, but attempting to kill or imprison me, an innocent human, because of the actions of my species, without even giving me a chance to defend myself, goes contrary to almost everything I know about them." I took a deep breath. "I don't know exactly what it is, but I'm afraid there may be something very wrong in Equestria." Lunatic sighed. "I fear you may be right," she said, "but if there is something wrong, is it truly in your best interests to get involved? They have threatened you, attacked you, tried to kill and imprison you, and if you get involved again you may not be able to survive." She placed her hoof on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "You might die. I would do my best to protect you, but there is only so much I can do against such power." "Stay here with me," she continued. "Help me with my new kingdom. Be a pillar of strength for the ponies who would look to you for guidance." Lunatic blushed, her hoof still on my shoulder. I was suddenly very aware of how close her face was to mine. "...for all of the ponies who look up to you. Even the ones that aren't so little." I felt my face flush as I stared into her eyes. I understood what she was implying, but... I took her hoof off my shoulder but didn't move away from her. "I appreciate the offer, and once this is taken care of I may take you up on that. But right now? Something is wrong, and my friends are right in the middle of it. There's no way I could do any less." Lunatic smiled weakly. "Of course. Well, in that case let us travel to the Castle of the Third Sister. It is where I live when I spend time here, and there are some scrying magics there that may be useful to us." Lunatic kneeled and allowed me to get on her before she leaped into the air and took flight towards where the Everfree Forest would have been in Equestria. I had had time to think about it in the Everfree Forest and while walking with Lunatic to the Kingdom of Darkness, but it was only during this conversation with Lunatic that my thoughts crystallized. Something was wrong with Celestia and Twilight, and I needed to get to the bottom of it. Why had they acted the way they had? Was humanity truly so repulsive that simply being human was enough to scare them senseless? Was it something I had done? Perhaps most importantly, would I ever get my friends back? Meanwhile: Two ponies ran down the grey stone castle hallways, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs. One was a pegasus, the other was a unicorn. Both of them were covered in jungle camouflage and wearing pink earmuffs. The unicorn swung a rubber chicken in his telekinetic grip while the pegasus screamed, "AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?" Hrm. Maybe we should step back a few days. One week ago: The two armored guards took the train back to Canterlot in silence. Eventually the white pegasus spoke up. "Hey..." "Yeah?" "Actually, I was going to call you by your name, but I realized I don't know what it is." The grey unicorn grunted. "It's Flashbang." "Flashbang?" "Yeah." "And that spell you cast was a...?" "Flashbang." "And your cutie mark is of a..." "Flashbang. Look, is there anywhere you're going with this?" The white pegasus shifted uncomfortably. "Erm, not really. Look, did anything about that encounter seem... off... to you?" "What do you mean?" "Well, think about it. The only human in Equestria shows up, claiming that some unknown entity has brainwashed all the other guards, and that we should ignore anything they try to tell us. We know he was running from the guards." "Yeah. So?" "What if he lied to us? What if that was just an excuse to keep away from the rest of the guards who were trying to detain him for perfectly legitimate reasons? What if that whole brainwashing story was just to keep us from finding out we were supposed to stop him?" The pegasus continued frantically, "What if we were supposed to stop him, and he helped him instead? Oh, Celestia, we might have just aided a figutive from the law! You know what that makes us? Traitors!" Flashbang said, "Calm yourself. Let's look at this rationally. We're two intelligent ponies, right?" "Well, yeah." "It's a well-known fact that the smarter a pony is, the harder he is to fool. And there are the two of us here dealing with the one human, which means that, relatively speaking, we're twice as smart as he is." The pegasus smiled. "Oh, yeah." "So you see, it's very unlikely that the human fooled us." A long silence, then: "So then what are we going to do about the brainwashing? As far as we know, whoever was brainwashing the guards is still there. What if... what if he got to Celestia?" "Stow that talk! Princess Celestia is our leader and the pillar of our community. She's a paragon of mental strength and there's no way she would have fallen victim to some cheap voodoo mind tricks. She's just too strong for that!" "But what if she did? Think about it. What should we do?" There was a pause as Flashbang considered this before responding, "Whoever's doing this mustn't know that we're on to them. Whatever we do, it will have to be sneaky. It will have to be subtle, and it will have to be cunning." One week later the two guards stormed the castle wearing pink earmuffs and jungle camouflage, swinging a rubber chicken and yelling at the top of their lungs. Author's Note I honestly have no idea what their plan is.
The Castle of the Third SisterLunatic Fringe's powerful wings beat beneath me and I felt weightless as she carried me through the air. The eclipse hung in the dark blue sky, almost directly over our heads. I looked over Lunatic's flank and saw our shadows riding the forest canopy below as the treetops constantly slipped away beneath us. As we drew closer to the Castle of the Third Sister I could make out details. The facade of the building was built in the style of a gothic cathedral. There were windows set in the wall that tapered to a point at the top, nestled between elaborate stone designs. Several spires jutted from the roof of the castle. Lunatic landed in front of a massive set of wooden double doors. Her horn flared cyan and the doors were enveloped in a dark purple aura. I heard gears turning and chains moving, then the double doors slowly opened with a loud creak. Lunatic took us inside, then her horn flared again and the doors slammed shut behind us, leaving us in total darkness. I heard the sound of mechanisms working again, then silence. Lunatic's horn flared again, and in a solemn voice she said, "I have returned." A bright white light flared up in front of and high above us, cast by a large crystal globe. The light illuminated an incredibly large entrance hall. I could have thrown a tennis ball as hard as I could and it would have taken several seconds to reach the other end. There were staircases to either side of me, leading to a sort of balcony that ran the entire length of the entrance hall, supported by pillars at regular intervals. I dismounted Lunatic and walked beside her. "Okay, so... where do we go now?" I asked. "Have you forgotten why you came here already?" she chided playfully. "No, I remember. I'm just not sure what the next step is. You said something about scrying?" "There is a room in the castle specially designed for casting such spells. Please, follow me." Lunatic guided me through several rooms, hallways, and staircases. Each one was equisitely designed, and no two were alike. More than once I stopped walking to stare at the decor, and each time I did Lunatic gently nudged me to remind me to keep moving. Finally we arrived at our destination. The room was tall and circular, with pillars that reached all the way to the ceiling set flush against the walls at regular intervals. The wall at the far end of the room contained a large glass window through which I could see the dark blue sky. On the ground in front of us was a complex magical circle etched into the stone floor. It was to this circle that Lunatic made her way. "Please stay back from the circle," she said. "I'll be casting a simple scrying spell inside it, and if you break the circle I'll have to start over." I nodded. Lunatic walked to the center of the magic circle, closed her eyes, and started to chant. I summon thee, oh nameless one, Guardian of Forever and Speaker of the Truth, Lighter of Ways and Extinguisher of Dreams. I implore thee, open mine eyes and show me that which I would know. The circle around Lunatic glowed white. The glow then shot upwards, illuminating Lunatic in a column of light. Her entire body lifted off the ground, floating in mid-air. Her mane floated around her head. Her eyes snapped open. Instead her normal cat's-eyes, both of her eyes were a solid white that glowed brightly. The column of light faded away and Lunatic slowly landed on the ground, but her eyes continued to glow white as she stared straight at me. "You may have one question, mortal," she said in a voice that reverberated with power. Unlike her normal voice, it seemed there was a second, hidden one, echoing along with her words. I won't lie, I got a little nervous there. I wasn't certain, but this didn't sound like the simple scrying spell that Lunatic had described. Still, I wasn't going to let that stop me from doing what needed to be done. "Actually," I replied, "I have two questions. My friends, two of the most powerful and influential ponies in Equestria, are behaving erratically and dangerously. I wish to know what has caused their behavior, and I wish to know how I can fix it." Lunatic fixed me with her glowing white gaze. Her expression didn't change, but I got the sense that she (or rather, whatever was talking to me through her) wasn't happy with me. "You may have one question. Choose." I shook my head. "Knowing what's wrong won't help if I can't solve the problem, and I might not be able to solve the problem if I blindly follow instructions without understanding why. Both of my questions stand." I held my breath as Lunatic stared at me dispassionately. I knew I was playing with fire, but I needed this information. Finally she said, "Very well. You shall have the information you desire. But there will be a price." "If there is a price," I responded, "let me be the one to pay it. Nobody else should have to suffer for my gain." Lunatic smiled wickedly. "My, but mortals have become interesting in my absence. It is a deal." With that the nameless one told me what had happened to Twilight and Celestia. It actually wasn't as bad as I had feared. It was much, much worse.
