Red vs Blue: The Ponyville Chronicles

Bullets after bullets chipped and nicked against the small cover the Blues used. The shots came in an endless rain along with the incessant insults flung by the dragon at the head of it all. “…There is no way that thing has that many bullets,” Twilight concluded, ignoring the fact that it was indeed firing that many bullets with no end, “it’s not realistically or even magically possible without some sort of delay for reloads.”

“Wow. Really?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes with a sarcastic tone, “we better tell them they’re breaking the rules then,” seeing Twilight give her a sharp glare she decided to change the subject a little. “Whatever. Seriously though. We really should’ve brought our heavy guns too.”

“Yes Rainbow, because bringing a weapon that no pony knows how to use isn’t a technical suicide by any stretch of the meaning…”

“Right. And sitting behind a rock while bullets shoot at us is a way better plan, huh?” Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight prepared to retort that, but saw there was no way to do so. “Well… this round goes to you I see.”

Sure Breaburn wasn’t a well-rounded soldier since he just got out into the field, but even he could figure out how to open a cockpit. The canopy swung open after the cowpony flipped a switch to the left of the hood. Easing in, his legs and hooves met with the pump mechanics specified for Earth Pony controls. It looked as if the interior could be worked more efficiently for unicorns, but that might have been favoritism of the maker. As his hooves clicked into place with the mechanics, the lights inside the cockpit sparkled to life and the hood closed firmly over Breaburn’s head. Suddenly, his ears were assaulted by a cooing voice coming from the tank. “Hello, and thank you very much for activating the M909P Main Battle Tank. But please, call Me Fleur.”

Breaburn took a nervous gulp as he felt the tank almost heat up around him. “Uh, hey there… Fleur.”

“You seem so tense…” the tank cooed again, “perhaps you would like me to run a tutorial for you?”

“A tutorial? Hot dog! Well, let’s run it and get this rodeo on the road!” Breaburn was eager to take an advantage over his two partners. This could be his chance to prove his use to the team.

“Very well. Tutorial program initiated. This program is intended to train non-certified ponies and alike in the use of this Manticore class tank. Now, let’s start with some simple driving.”

“Alrighty then,” pushing down into the pumps, the tank began to move slowly over one of the hills.

“Please don’t rush though. It’s been awhile since I’ve had somepony inside me…”

Salvo after round of bullets continued against the rock face with Spike keeping an energiezed face. However, Big Mac had taken himself out from the controls and stood leaning against the Draconequus, watching Spike unload more of his shots. “Spike… SPIKE!” He shouted over the blasting shots. Slowly, the shots came to a halt and Spike gave Big Mac a confused look. “That thing sure is a loud one.”

“Huh!?” Spike shouted.

“Nothin’. Let’s jus’ sneak around and get those Blues by surprise.”

“SNEAK AROUND?! SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, MAC!”

“Yer’ ears alright, Spike?”

“I HAVEN’T GONE GARDENING IN MONTHS, SO MY SHEARS ARE PROBABLY A LITTLE—“

“Never mind. Let’s get movin’ before yer’ shoutin’ blows our cover…”

“RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”

The tank driving for Breaburn was going as well as his partners would’ve expected seeing as how he had managed to get the tank wedged up on top of a large rock. “Seeing how you’re now a master of taking me for a ride, let’s move onto safety features. Fun is fun, but protection is always important.”

“Mrs. Fleur, yer’ sorta makin’ me feel uncomfortable,” Breaburn admitted with a dark blush. “’Sides, could ya’ tell me why there are six pedals when I only got four legs?”

Twilight glanced out over the side of her cover, seeing how the firing had stopped and more curiously how the Red’s car was abandoned. “Dash. They’ve stopped their attack on us,” she whispered over to her comrade.

“…Why the buck are you wispearing?”

“…Once more you walk away with a victory,” Twilight admitted in a whisper.

Both Spike and Big Mac trekked the back pass of the rock face, looking for an easier way to take out the still hiding Blues. “Nnnnope… This won’t be the best way to get at ‘em.” Big Mac concluded.

“I still don’t see why we left the car…” Spike added in a normal tone with his hearing starting to return.

As the two discussed their plans, they failed to notice as Breaburn rolled up behind them with his massive tank. “Shootin’ at a rock wasn’t getting’ anywhere. Gotta’ take the initiative, you know?”

“Initiative? Give me a few more hours with that gun and I would’ve made a hole through that rock,” Spike laughed a little.

In the cockpit of the tank behind them, Breaburn strained his eyes, trying to get a good look at the reds. Soon, he lightened up and gave a bright smile. “Hey!” He shouted to Mac and Spike. The two turned around and while Spike turned pale with worry at the sight of such a massive weapon, Big Mac looked dumbfounded. “Cousin Macintosh? Is that you!?” Breaburn laughed joyfully.

“…Breaburn? What’re you doin’ in a Blue tank and Blue suit?!”

“Well, it’s a funny story. Here, let me get out and tell ya’,” Breaburn clicked a single button thinking it was the hatch button, instead having the tank’s cannon lowering in the Reds’ direction. “Uh-oh… Wrong one.”

Now it was Rainbow Dash that was peeking out the side of the rock, taking the liberty to move out more into the open while Twilight pressed to the cover closer. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is just a ploy to draw us out.” Twilight said flatly.

“You saw they’re away from that gun. We’re home free!” Rainbow Dash grew more excited; she just might make it back to base and tell Tom about this ordeal yet.

“Don’t worry cous’. I’ll get the right button,” once more, Breaburn hit a button and initiated a click from the cannon while it fixed onto Big Mac’s head.

“Breaburn… stop pressin’ buttons…”