Dwarfin' it up.

by FaelaArts

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2733

Simon is a dwarf who just threw some wood through a window, and somehow opened a portal into a different world.

"Can I have some wood Simon?" That simple sentence spoken by the Spaceman was accompanied by the smashing of glass, as some wooden cubes were sent through the window. Sadly, any reaction that may have come from such an event was put off as, with a unremarkable 'pop', they appeared in a world they found strikingly familiar.

"Lewis, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," commented the Dwarf.

Published 2014-10-26 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-28 05:12:35 UTC

Hello! And welcome to the Yogscast!

“Simon, what did you do,” spoke the Spaceman, wearing an outfit that marked him as a captain of sorts, with a striped shirt and a red jacket on top. On his back was a sword made of a blue material, and he glanced to the smaller individual beside him.

“Oh sure, blame the guy who happened to ‘somehow’ bend time and space by throwing wood through a window, again. YOU WANTED THE WOOD LEWIS!” Simon, for that was the orange haired individual's name, was dressed in a horned helmet, similar to those commonly thought to belong to vikings. In his hand, casually tossed over his shoulder as he held it, was a pick made of the same blue material.

“Oh, that wasn’t your fault, it was me,” both turned, and noticed the two somewhat familiar forms in front of them, their memories of them being blocky instead of rounded. The one who had spoken was bright pink with a cotton candy like mane. Beside her stood a mint-green pony, who looked very confused by their appearance. The Dwarf and the Spaceman shared a glance, and then Lewis glanced away and cringed. Simon leaned back, taking in a large breath, and proceeded to shout so loud half the town’s windows disintegrated, instead of simply shattering.

“DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” Simon breathed in once more, and Lewis glanced to one of the streets, seeing a group of ponies running toward them, only to be bowled over as Simon continued.

“-Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww-Alright, I think I’m done Lewis, you want a turn?” Simon looked to the creature in front of him, the same height he was, and began to coo at it, poking it on the nose and giggling like a schoolgirl. Strangely enough, the pink pony began to do it back. Lewis sighed, and turned his eyes to the mint green one as she promptly fell over like a book, still as a stone.

“Oh dear god, not another one. Please tell me you can’t make tnt appear out of thin air.” Lewis regarded the unicorn, wincing as Simon squeed, and turned to him, babbling almost nonsensically. Thankfully, many years had gifted Lewis with the ability to understand Simon-speak.

“Lewis itsa unicorn! Can I ride it?” Simon jumped up and down in front of Lewis eagerly as he chuckled, a smile coming onto his face.

“No Simon, not after last time.” Lewis shuddered, dark images of that particular world haunting him to this day.

“Awwwh,” pouted the Dwarf, and the pink one patted him on the back in sympathy. Lewis noticed the unicorn, purple in color, watched them as they ‘uhm’ed and ‘aah’ed around. Lewis tapped Simon, who growled and pushed him hard back.

“I get it I get it! Enough faffing around, I don’t pay you to loaf you know.” Simon leered over Lewis as he slowly stood back up, and his eyes narrowed.

“You don’t pay me at all! And you still owe me a lifetime supply of jaffas, and that-” Lewis was cut off as Simon turned to the unicorn and leaned forward, putting his pickaxe on his back.

“And you’ll get it, I promise! Dwarfs honor!” Simon tilted his head, frowning as he leaned forward, stroking his beard.

“It appears to be frowning at me Lewis,” he spoke in a highly sophisticated tone. Lewis smiled, and shook his head.

“Well yeah, that’s what creatures do when they’re angry.” Lewis didn’t step back as his friend turned and leaned forward, barely a centimeter away, and narrowed his eyes.

“Does this expression make me look fat?” Simon didn’t move, and Lewis raised an eyebrow.

“No Simon, you’re just born that way. Don’t you think we should pay attention to the quest thingy?” Lewis pointed to the peeved off pony as a her eye began to twitch.

“Well, maybe I’m worth it.” Simon turned away and folded his arms, giving a huff as he pouted. Lewis rolled his eyes and turned toward the unicorn.

“Hold on, let me see if I can get this er..aha!” Lewis grinned as somehow, a small blinking line appeared at the bottom of his vision. Bringing his fingers forward, he began to type.

“You...said...something...abooout...another one?” Lewis pressed the imaginary enter key, and smiled, nodding as the message showed in the bottom of his vision. The mint green mare, having finally started to come to, took one look at the text appearing in the bottom of her vision, and proceeded to abandon ship once more. The purple unicorn blinked, eyes still narrowed, and she opened her mouth.

“You know, I do know how to talk. I literally did that moments ago.” Twilight tilted her head and both reared back in surprise. Sharing a glance, they scratched the back of their heads, and shrugged.

“Uh...okay, sure. So you seem to know uh-what we are so...What do you mean spawn tnt out of thin air, you mean like this?” Lewis once more typed on his imaginary keyboard, and opened his arms as a large square of tnt appeared in them. The unicorns all took one look at it and dived for cover. When nothing happened, the unicorn slowly came out, and opened her mouth hesitantly.

“Wait, why didn’t it explode?” Still staying away from them, she eyed the package as it vanished from his hands, and he raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not going to spawn primed tnt in my arms. That’s just stupid, only two people in the entire world would ever do that. One is Simon.” Lewis pointed to the Dwarf, who bowed, and spoke his very long title.

“And the other is...Oh god,” that was not good. Lewis glanced to Simon, who tilted his head, and then snorted, before once more pretending to not know. Lewis turned his attention back to the unicorn.

“Now, uh, do you mind answering a few questions for me? Its kinda important we find...him, before he leaves a giant crater in the middle of your town. Do you know where he is?” Lewis glanced to Simon as he raised his arm, jumping into the air like a schoolgirl.

“Oooh! Oooh! And Where’s the nearest tavern, I could go for a fine pint of yer finest hearty brew.” Simon raised his head and laughed, pausing when the unicorn narrowed her eyes.

“We don’t have alcaholic drinks. I’m Twilight by the way.” Turning to the taller one, she gave a short bow of her head, still watching them carefully for signs of danger. Simon blinked, and fell to his knees. Lewis winced and covered his ears. Wisely, Twilight decided to follow his lead.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” As if on cue, as soon as they removed their appendages from their ears, a large explosion came from inside the town. Simon stood up, and began to run toward the smoke. Lewis quickly jogged after his friend as he glanced to his chat, seeng Simon type a message as he also shouted once more at the top of his lungs.

“Fumblemoooooorrrreee!” Simon paused briefly and cupped his ear and smiled wickedly as a soft swearing could be heard, a second explosion going off.

“Godamnit Simon,” spoke a voice as a blonde haired individual marched around the corner, one side blackened by soot. Simon laughed evily for a moment, before his face broke out into a relieved smile.

“Duncan,” he spoke, moisture coming to his eyes. The Scientist paled, and stopped in place and then slumped as the Dwarf raced for him.

“Duuuunnnky poo san sama desuka!” Simon leapt at Duncan, who didn’t resist as he was tackled/glomped into the ground, sliding a few inches.

“Jesus Simon, have you gained weight?” Duncan gasped for breath under the very wide, and very short Dwarf. Lewis slowly walked toward them as stars formed in Simon’s eyes, and he hugged Duncan.

“Oh! You noticed! Sugoides-I don’t know any other japanese so it kinda ends here.” Mid sentence, Simon sat up and grinned sheepishly at Duncan, who merely glared at Simon.

“That’s great and all, but you’re kind of choking me to death,” he spoke clearly, before coughing as he gasped for breath. Simon stood up, getting off him, and rolled his eyes.

“Drama queen,” he muttered as Lewis finally caught up.

“So what happened to you guys? I was in the middle of mixing dangerous chemicals in Lab Alpha X Classified when I suddenly showed up here. If we’re lucky, the world was destroyed. Otherwise I may have just released an otherworldly creature with a thousand tentacles into Minecraftia.” Duncan winced as both facepalmed, all glancing to the group of ponies as they caught up.

“God damnit Duncan, how many times do you have to summon an Eldritch monster before you realise he just wants to eat you.” Lewis sighed, and put his hands on his hips as he glanced between his two friends, smiling as he tried not to laugh.

“It wasn’t the Eldritch this time, it was Chuthulu,” he pouted. Duncan looked down and twiddled his thumbs. Lewis shook his head, and all three glanced to the purple one as something finally snapped.

“Okay, you know what? Pinkie Pie’s the new Element of Magic, I’m out of here.” Twilight pushed the pink mare from earlier forward, before heading toward a giant castle. All three humans leaned back, taking it in. Duncan put a thoughtful hand to his chin.

“Don’t you think about it Fumblemore,” remarked Lewis. Duncan sighed wistfully, but relented, and all three turned to look at the pink pony. According to that first sentence, apparently she was the one at fault with bringing them here.

“Can I ride this one Lewis?”

“No.”

“Awh.”

Discord opened his eyes, quickly teleporting out of the noisy, blocky building that was screeching at him to return to his prison. Looking around the blocky world, he brought his hands together in quiet contemplation, and smiled.

For all your quality dirt needs!

“Wow, she is really going at it isn’t she.” Duncan watched in silent amazement as the pink pony spoke without taking a breath. Glancing to Simon, he paused to glance to his inventory, and his eyes turned to some items inside.

“Uh, hello?” Lewis frowned, folding his arms as he mused. Simon booped the pony on the nose and she paused, giving a giggle and returned it.

“-And-we-were-full-of-cake-and-she-asked-about-humans-so-I-” The pony paused, and breathed in, and out. Lewis sighed, and glanced to the other four behind her. One was orange with a cowboy hat. One was a white unicorn. The other two had wings, and once again faint memories stirred.

“Oh! Simon, remember that old series we did?” Lewis glanced to Simon, who nodded. Lewis nodded to himself as he brought his hand to his chin.

“Riiight, so the real question here is how we get back.” Shrugging, Lewis glanced to Duncan, who pulled out some sort of machine and held it up toward the sky.

“Pinkie Pie, can I speak for a moment?” The white unicorn stepped forward, putting a hoof on the pink one’s shoulder. ‘Pinkie Pie’ paused, and nodded, stepping aside sheepishly, an eager grin on her face. Stepping forward, Rarity breathed in, and then smiled at them, holding out a hoof.

“Hello dears, I’m Rarity. And this is Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. The one who walked away was Twilight.” Rarity bowed her head slightly, and Simon covered his mouth,holding back laughter. Lewis glanced to Duncan, who shrugged, looking up from his machine, and turned to ‘Rarity’ taking her hoof and shaking it awkwardly.

“Hello, I’m Lewis, and that’s Simon, and Duncan. Your friend mentioned something about bringing us here?” Lewis glanced to ‘Pinkie Pie’, who giggled and stepped forward.

“Absolutely positively. You see, Lyra was talking about humans and I mentioned I knew humans and she said ‘wait what’ and I said ‘sure would you like to meet some’ and she said ‘yes’ so I brought you here to meet her. She didn’t seem thrilled by it for some reason though.” Tilting her head, Pinkie Pie paused, before giving a shrug and glancing to her friends.

“Pinkie, how exactly did you bring them here?” The pegasus with a rainbow mane and blue fur, ‘Rainbow Dash’, tilted her head. Pinkie Pie shrugged in response.

“I broke a fourth wall.” Glancing to the humans, she giggled once more.

“Don’t you mean The fourth wall?” Duncan raised his head, putting his computer away as he finished. Pinkie Pie shook her head.

“Nonono, just one of them silly. Anywho I best be going. I’ve got three super duper parties to plan.” Pinkie Pie smiled at them, and waved goodbye to the other ponies, bouncing away merrily.

“Huh,” commented Duncan, shrugging as Lewis glanced toward him.

“So, it wasn’t me throwing glass through the window this time.” Simon nodded smugly at Lewis, who nodded.

“So, should we try to get back, or explore this new world?” Lewis turned toward Simon, glancing to Duncan as he shrugged. Simon paused, stroking his beard. After a moment, he shrugged and gave a toothy grin.

“Why not, what’s the worst that could happen?” Simon and Lewis both glanced around, and listened as the silence stretched.

“That normally works,” he commented, folding his arms and pouting. Lewis chuckled, and then blinked as a strange sound reached his ears. All three turned to look at the sky as a circular portal appeared, and spat out two individuals, dumping them in the dirt one on top of the other.

“Sjin, who ordered a transdimensional portal to the idiot verse?” The first individual was clothed in a sort of space suit with blue trimming and a blue square on the front. Standing up, he narrowed his eyes at Simon and the other two. His accomplice, clothed in the same design but with yellow instead of blue, stood up as well.

“You told me to sign the paperwork without reading it Sips.” The yellow one tilted his head, and the blue one turned.

“The guy wanted 5 pounds of high quality dirt for a thousand diamonds. That’s a STEAL even with inflation. We’re on money steet now Sjin.” Sips smirked, and rubbed his fingers together. The yellow one, who was obviously Sjin, narrowed his eyes.

“They didn’t pay in advance.” Sjin glanced toward the strange ponies for the first time as Sips blinked.

“Goddamnit Sjin, that’s why I told you to read the paperwork before signing it.” Sips followed his gaze, and made a noise in surprise. Crouching down, he tilted his head.

“Sjin, look at this. This dirt is comparable quality to ours. We can use it to triple profits by selling it for higher and calling it ‘premium grade’.” Sips grabbed a handful of the dirt, standing up to show it to Sjin.

“Oh yeah, but we should probably find a way back to Sips Co first.” Sjin glanced to Simon and waved in greeting as Sips tossed the dirt aside, and looked between the two groups.

“Patent pending,” he spoke, narrowing his eyes at Simon. Lewis sighed, and turned his attention to the ponies.

“Where are we anyway?” Looking around, all could tell it was obviously not Minecraftia.

“This is Equestria. As for returning home, Twilight might know how to help you. She is really good at magic.” Rarity noticed the one called Duncan pause, and turned to her.

“Did you just say magic?” Duncan smiled, and brought his hands together as he glanced away.

“Yes, why? Do you not have magic where you reside?” Rarity tilted her head, and glanced toward her friends as they shrugged.

“On occasion, it normally varies.” Duncan rubbed his hands together, his smile growing to creepy levels. Lewis sighed, and looked toward the castle. The purple one was watching them from a balcony. It was clear she had been watching them the entire time.

“Thank you for the help, we’ll go see her right now.” Lewis smiled gratefully at Rarity, and looked to Simon, who nodded and turned, marching toward the castle. Lewis glanced toward the others questionably. Duncan fell in behind Simon without another word. Sips sighed, and leaned in toward Sjin.

“I say, we follow them, and seal their lunch money.” Sips waited as Sjin nodded, and both shared a wink. Lewis watched this silently, waiting until they nodded to turn and catch up to Simon. Sips and Sjin were quick to follow, sharing a smirk with each other.