Berry Punch just wants to buy some wine

by Celestial Doom

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Lyra, Cheerilee, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Alternate Universe, Original Character
Length: 1868

Berry Punch, Ponyville's resident drunk, just wants some wine, is that too much to ask?

Berry Punch just wants some wine.
But, Corkscrew the local wine merchant has run out (due to Berry drinking it all), and sends her to Canterlot, to his brothers store (she'll even get a discount for being a good customer!)

The only thing is, that on her way to the train station, she's stopped by other ponies wanting her help with something, or other.

Can she get to Canterlot in time, or will she have to wait until Corkscrew gets more in? Or, even, have to put up with something else entirely? Maybe *shudder* a milkshake?
These, and many more questions will NOT be answered by this short story, I'll leave that for another time. This one, is just a series of mishaps.

[A/N]
I'll, hopefully, be setting a few more stories here. But that's for the future to decide.

The story is being fully spell checked and expanded as you read this, after a comment, cheers Ahelpinghoof, I decided to look through the original, and found it lacking!
I've also decided to update the cover image, I think it adds more to the back story of our favourite drunk.
All this will happen over the next few days. Hope the new version is better :pinkiehappy:

Published 2014-11-01 23:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-01 23:20:04 UTC

Please, I just want some wine! - edited

“I'm sorry, Berry”, Corkscrew said, leaning over the shop counter, “But, we’re all out of wine!”

“Wha...how...why?!?!?”, Berry Punch, Ponyville’s resident drunk stammered back,”But, I NEED the wine, I'm, um, making a cake, and I need 12 bottles to add to the mixture.”

“Ha, good one, like I've NEVER heard THAT one before.”, Corkscrew looked incredulously at Berry, “If’n you really need the wine, you could always go to Canterlot and get some from my brothers shop, and I’ll even tell him to give you a discount, seeing as you’re our best customer. How does that sound?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that. What’s your brothers shop called by the way?”

“We’ll Pop Your Cork. Pretty lame really”, Corkscrew chuckled, “My brothers called Ernest, I’ll let him know you’re coming.”, and with that, our favourite drunk staggered out into Ponyville’s busy main street.

“Faust dammit!”, Berry muttered to herself as she plodded down to the train station, not noticing who was calling her

“Berry! Berry! Can you give me a hoof for a bit?”, Cheerilee was shouting to her from the schoolhouse, “HEY! SIS! CAN YOU COME HERE!!!”

Reluctantly, Berry trotted over to her younger sister, and with a glare that would scare a cockatrice, just said, "What?"

"I need somepony to hold one end of the ladder, so I can get the balloons down."

"Why the hay do you need to get balloons down, Cheerilee?"

"I was showing the fillies and colts how static electricity worked, and some of the unicorns got carried away, and floated them up.", replied the school mistress, "I knew having Twilight help them was going to be a bad idea."

"Sure, fine, can we get on with it, or are we just going to stand here all day talking?", grumped Berry.

Cheerilee lead the way into the schoolhouse, and then turned on Berry saying,”What’s got you so worked up like Diamond Tiara when she’s been told off?”

“I need to get to Canterlot to pick up some wine, and I need to get there BEFORE the end of the day.”, she replied.
“Oh, Sis, you really need to stop drinking so much, you’ll end up like dad if you’re not careful.”

“Well, if we stand here ALL day, you won’t have to worry, will you? Can we get on with the job in hoof, so I can get to Canterlot, please?”

Sighing, Cheerilee climbed the stepladder, whilst, very reluctantly, her sister held the base with one of her hind legs. “Oh, Twi, why’d you have to go and teach them about levitation? I'm the one who has to get the balloons down, whilst you stay at home and read.”

“Um, Cheeri, you, um, you got a thing for Twilight?”, Berry called up.

“Oh! Sorry sis, I forgot you where down there.”, blushing, she looked down, “Not ‘got a thing’ about her, ‘have a thing with her’ is the better way of putting it.”

‘Dammit!’, thought Berry,’Now I'm going to have some things to explain things to my little Berry. Why can’t she just find a nice pony, rather than her? Now, I don’t mind her having a relationship with another mare, but why one of the elements, and the Princesses personal student to boot! Oh, well, suppose it’s her life.’

She was brought out of her thoughts by a shouting from above,”HEY! Berry, I'm done over here! BERRY! BERRY!”

“Shoot, sorry, was miles away there. Okay, let’s move this thing, and then I can be on my way.”, descending Cheerilee and Berry moved the stepladder over the other side of the classroom, and repeated the same, boring, in Berry’s mind, routine.

Except for the comments, well, almost,’Heck, if we don’t get done soon, I'm gonna miss the train!’

“Right, there we go!”, Cheerilee exclaimed, “Cheers sis, sis? Oh for Celestia’s sake! You sure can shift when you want to!”, she remarked to an empty room.

Berry Punch, for an earth pony, could certainly shift her rump when she wanted, in fact, if she’d run a bit quicker, could give Rainbow Dash a run for her money by producing a Sonicboom!

Anyhow, back to our story, Berry, still belting along, didn't notice an aquamarine pony stepping out of Sugarcube Corner.

“Ack!”, came a shout, and Berry was covered in milkshake. “What the hey, Berry! Can’t you watch where you’re going?”

Skidding to a halt, she turned round, and was muzzle to muzzle with a, rather, angry Lyra Heartstrings, the local Lyre player.

“Ooops, sorry Lyra, wasn't looking where I was running, gotta get to the train station. Terribly sorry, I’ll buy you another milkshake.”

“Fine, BUT, I’d like a favour from you, just to make up for the mishap, if you don’t mind.”, Lyra shot back, and from the tone, Berry noticed that it was non-negotiable.

‘Well, there goes another hour of my life!’

“By Celestia’s great beard!”, Berry exclaimed when she’d finally finished queuing up for Lyra’s milkshake, “What’s in this...this thing?”

“Oh, nothing much, it’s just a special recipe I came up with, “, she replied around slurps, “if you’d like to try it?”, raised eyebrow.

Looking at the milkshake like it was a dead snake, “Um, nah, you keep it. Wouldn't want you to miss out on another drink!”

“Yeah, whereas your’s”, Lyra remarked, “is more of the alcoholic variety!”

“Oh, yeah, good one there.”, Berry dead-panned, “Like I've never heard that before! Why does everypony think that I’m a drunk?”

“Cos you are!”, came the reply.

“That wasn't a question, I was thinking out loud. I suppose you wouldn't mind telling me what the favour is, would you?”

Walking across half of Ponyville, the two ponies, so it looked to Berry, were heading towards Bon Bon’s confectionery store.

“...”, was all Berry could say.

“Bon Bon needs somepony to help clean the saucepans, and it was supposed to be me, but seeing as SOMEPONY ran into me, I thought that you could help…”, explained Lyra, as they both entered the store, a sweet candy smell assaulted their noses.

“Sure, no problem.”, complained Berry, “Where are they, so I can get this over and done with?”

“They’re here, hun!”, a cheery Bon Bon called over the counter, and noticed that Berry was covered in milkshake, and Lyra had a smug grin on her face added, “Oh, Lyra, you been throwing your drinks around again?”

“Nah, Berry ran into me, and got covered in my drink. So, I thought that it might be an idea for her to repay the loss of a drink by helping you.”, replied the musician.

“Oh, uh, okay, cheers. I’ll see you later then hun?”, Bon Bon replied to her marefriend, looking suspiciously at the milkshake in her hoof.

“Uhuh, I'm heading off home to get some practising in before Octavia breaks another bow over my head for playing badly, again!”, Lyra called back over her shoulder and heading to the door.

Which left a sticky Berry looking rather sorry for herself, grinning at a concerned looking Bon Bon.

“Berry, I, personally, think that Lyra was a bit harsh with you, so, I’ll just get you to clean one saucepan. And, we won’t say a thing to Little Miss Hothead. How’s that sound?”

Surprise was creeping across Berry’s face, ‘I thought I’d be stuck here for ages, RESULT!’, but, out loud, she replied,”Cheers Bon Bon, can I clean myself up first though, this milkshake is starting to whiff a bit, and also, what the hay does she drink? I know I bought her a replacement, but I haven’t a clue what’s in it.”

“Sorry, YOU bought her a replacement drink? Oh Lyra, just wait till I get home, I'm gonna make you wear that lyre of yours.”, Bon Bon snarled, “Her milkshakes are a special recipe, she made one at home ages ago, and liked it, and the Cakes make them just for her. It’s got minced rye and barley in it, with some vanilla, and really, really stinks”, realising that Berry was covered in one of Lyra’s creations, added, “hehe, which you've found out, I've banned her from drinking one before we turn in for the night. But, you didn't want to know that. Anyway, the bathroom is in the back, you’ll see a sink with some saucepans in, choose one to wash, and I’ll send you on your way.”

Berry made her way to the bathroom, and noticed a few saucepans in the sink, thinking that she’d choose the easiest one to wash. The bathroom was pristine,’Wow, I could eat my meal off the floor!’, thought Berry, as she cleaned the milkshake out of her mane, ‘Well, better get on with things, and I can get to Canterlot. Suppose I’ll have to get Cherry Berry to fly me there, cos I'm sure I've missed the train by now.’

Leaving the bathroom, Berry picked up the cleanest looking pan, then, thinking, put it back down, and picked up the dirtiest one instead,’Heck! Bon Bon’s being nice to me, I’ll wash the whole lot of them. I'm sure Cherry can fly me there.’ So, half an hour and 5 pans later, Berry emerged back onto the shop floor.

“There you go Bon Bon, you've got some nice, clean pans.”, called a grinning Berry

“You washed all of them?”, Bon Bon replied, looking confused, “But, I said only one. Well, if you've done them all, I'm grateful to you, but, Lyra isn't going to be let off lightly. Well, as a thank you, take a bag of any sweets you’d like. It’s on me!”

“Thanks Bon Bon, can I have a bag of Wine Gums!”, Berry said with a cheesy grin, “I know they ain't got any wine in them, but I doubt I’ll be getting my wine any-time soon.”

“Hun, if I were you, I’d not worry about not getting your wine. Come round Lyra’s and mine this evening, and we’ll let you have some wine, I’ll even cook.”

“Would it be okay to bring Colgate and Berry Pinch? Colgate can’t cook for squat, and Berry is too young by herself.”, Berry asked.

“Berry, it’d be my pleasure, and if Hothead doesn't like it, she can go eat out!”, laughed Bon Bon, “We’ll see you at seven then. And, thank you again for your help.”

“No worries, we’ll be there. Thank you also.”, replied a smiling Berry as she trotted out of the shop and onto the main street, munching on wine gums.

Epilogue:

Berry got her wine at Bon Bon and Lyra’s house, and a meal, along with Colgate and Berry Pinch.

Lyra did get her lyre wrapped around her head, and for good measure, was told, by a rather angry confectionery maker, that she was banned from drinking her milkshakes for a week. Lyra sulked for hours after.

So, there you go. That’s Berry Punch’s attempt at getting some wine from Canterlot, and then finding out that if you help others, you’ll get something good in return.

All the above will be explained more in the next instalment.

Author's Note

Edited, spell checked, and slightly expanded, welcome to Version 2!