Part One by Nom_deCheval
“Darling, I must say, you look absolutely marvelous!” I knew she was gonna say that. Everypony knew she was gonna say that. And as soon as she said it, she batted her eyelashes in the same way she always does. Rarity is a great gal, but wow is she predictable.
“I dunno.” The dress is tight. Really, really tight. “Isn’t it a little, y’know, restricting?”
“But of course! It has to fit rather snug or else it won’t properly display your… fundamentals!” She half giggled that last line. I try not to roll my eyes, but… I mean, seriously, how can you not at such a bad joke?
I take a small step. A difficult, small step. “How the heck am I supposed to move in this thing?” A quick twist of my body confirms what I already know. “This thing is gonna slow me down.”
“Rainbow Dash!” Uh-oh, here comes the speech. “A lady does not always feel the need to rush things, and this is one of those times. Remember what we’ve gone over. You are to be polite, charming, and above all, demure!”
“What the heck does that even mean?” This stupid dress itches. And suddenly Rarity’s eyes get huge when I scratch myself.
“That! That is exactly what I mean!” I see her horn light up and feel her magic slap my hoof off my rump. “A lady does NOT do such things!”
“Then how they heck do they scratch themselves?” I rub my hoof because the stupid magic actually stung when she slapped me.
She huffs at me for some reason. “That’s not the point. Come over here, Darling.”
I see her heading to the mirror on the other side of the room. She has a head start on me… but I beat her there. “Yeah? What?”
Eventually—it seems like forever—she makes it to the mirror and stands there beside me. She nods towards the glass, so I take a look. There was Rarity, looking as gorgeous as ever. Pristine white coat, beautiful purple mane that she spent waaaaay too much time making look that way, and, well, Rarity. “Yeah? So?”
“Not me, Darling.”
Her magic moves my head very gently, shifting it over just enough so that I wasn’t looking at her, but at some strange mare next to her. She has soft yellow eye shadow and a slick mane tracing down the side of her neck. Her coat is a pretty blue, though—and those look like a great pair of wings!
“I want you to look at yourself.”
Oh yeah. That’s me. “Okay, I see me. So?”
“So?!” Rarity jumps back like I tried to hit her or something. “Rainbow Dash, do not presume that you cannot see the results of my efforts here tonight! I have carefully—I dare say majestically—transformed you from your normal self into the vision you see staring back at you!”
A couple of those words hang around in my head for a second, and then I turn to look at her. “What’s wrong with the way I normally look?”
“Nothing!” she answers me instantly, and then backtracks. “Well, nothing if you are working on the weather. Or playing games. Or even enjoying time with the girls and I, but this isn’t one of those times. Tonight you are going to spend time with...” I swear her eyes glisten when she says, “...Copious Assets.”
As usual, the sound of his name forces out a snort of a laugh. The feeling of Rarity staring at me hits me way before I actually turn to see her. “We’ve covered this, Dash. You are not to laugh at his name! He is the heir to the fortune of Hefty Assets and is very sensitive about his family name!”
I try to hold back another laugh. Well, kinda. After I do it, I feel a little sorry about it, anyway. And I notice she’s still staring at me. “What? How am I not gonna laugh at a name like that? It would be like a mare having the name Checkout Da’Flanks or something!”
She clears her throat. Rarity always clears her throat when she’s trying not to laugh. “Well, all of that aside, I have gone to great lengths to set this rendezvous up for you, and I would appreciate it if you did not embarrass me.”
Aw, dang it. She had to go there. “Don’t worry, Rarity. I won’t.” My hoof scrapes along the wood of the floor before I realize that the Princess might not like me treating her castle that way. “Why do we have to do this in Canterlot, anyway? Why can’t I just go out on a date with somepony back in Ponyville?”
“Because everypony in Ponyville knows you, Darling.” She smiles at me as she says that.
“Exactly! They already understand my awesomeness, so doing stuff to impress them isn’t needed! They’re pre-impressed!” I feel like we’re getting somewhere, finally.
“Yes, well, that’s not exactly how I would have phrased it, but think of it this way: this is your chance to show someone new exactly how… awesome… you can be.”
I think about what Rarity is saying, and it kinda makes sense. Except for one little problem. “Yeah, but how can I do that wearing this?”
“I’m getting the feeling you don’t like my dress.” Rarity stuck her lips out like a duck—if ducks had lips. Come to think of it, why do they call that duck lips? Ducks have bills, not lips. If anything they should call that duck billed. Unless they are saying that it is the person’s lips who are looking like a duck bill, in which case it makes sense. Wait… is Rarity still talking? “...learned from all my efforts. I am doing this for you, after all.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Geez, what did she say? “It’s not the dress, honest. You make pretty dresses.”
“And you look absolutely lovely in them, Darling.” That got her smiling. Good. “Which is perfect, because you are already running late. Now, hurry off! And I simply cannot wait to hear all the sordid little details of your date!” She squeals like a filly. Who does that?
Okay, besides when I met Daring Do. That was different. It was DARING DO! I mean, c’mon! Or with the Wonderbolts. So, okay, sometimes I do it, too. I guess she gets a pass there.
“Now, hurry along.” I feel Rarity’s magic pushing me from behind. “But don’t go too fast. I had very little seam allowance, so any stress is going to result in absolute disaster.”
“What does that mean?” I have to look over my shoulder to see her as she’s pushing me out the door.
“Never you mind, Darling. Just go and have fun. But not too much fun! A lady must never… do that on her first date.” She stops pushing me and I look back at her, just in time to see her slowly closing the door and almost singing her final words. “Good luh-uck!”
The door closes and I’m alone. I guess I’m gonna go do this, then. Let’s see how it works out. I turn and head off to find—snicker—Copious Assets. Heh. What a name.
I hate this city.
No, that’s too strong. I just hate all the ponies in this city—except the princesses, of course. They’re cool. And I should know better. Heck, I do know better, I just forgot to remember that I know better, and I went ahead and listened to Rarity. Now look where it’s gotten me. I’m gliding down the middle of… some street. Um, okay. I think I’m lost.
Ah, what difference does it make? I’m staying at the castle, and that’s the easiest place to find in the whole city. Maybe in all of Equestria, actually. So lost is kind of a relative term. I’ll just say that I don’t know where I’m at—and I really don’t care.
A shiver runs over my coat and I recognize it immediately. All I have to do is glance up at the sky for a second, and I see that the local weather ponies have arranged a bit of a shower. Perfect ending to a perfect day, I guess.
Still, I don’t feel much like getting soaked right now, and I really don’t want to go back and deal with Rarity at the moment, so…
I circle back around. I remember seeing three ponies walking out of some club or something and climbing up a small set of stairs. They were staggering a little, so they were obviously drinking, and another pony held the door open for them, which meant it wasn’t a house. Translation: it’s a bar. Good. I could use a stiff drink right now.
After landing, I trot down the stairs to the door. The pony opens it for me—I mean, hey, it’s his job—and gives me a standard welcome to the club spiel. Some place called Tablet of Pasta or something. I dunno. Sounds weird.
And once I get inside, I realize it is. Everything in this place is dark. The walls are dark. The bar is dark. Even the lights are dark. I would say that it was designed by a bunch of goth ponies with a thing for Nightmare Moon, but the vibe isn’t quite so pretentious—it’s worse, actually. This is what rich ponies think a dive bar is supposed to look like.
The only thing that I see in this place that isn’t dark is the bartender. He’s a well-built unicorn stallion with a pure white coat. Not bad, actually. I saddle up to the bar and grab a seat, giving him a quick smile. Not a flirty one, just one to get him to come over.
“Good evening. How are you?” He starts in with the polite conversation right away.
“About as well as you think I’m doing.” I give him a smartass answer for some reason. “Can I get a hard cider?”
From the expression on his face I know the answer before the words come out. “Sorry. We don’t get much call for that in the area. I don’t have any right now.”
No cider. Of course there is no cider. On a night like this why would there be cider. I push my hoof between my eyes, squinting. “Well, have you got anything that kinda tastes like cider?”
“I’ll… see what I can find.” He walks off and I feel a little worse. I could have been nice to the guy. It’s not his fault. There’s one of those huge mirrors on the back of the bar, and I instantly see who should be blamed for all of this. That mare staring back at me with the rainbow colored mane.
The bartender shows up with a tall bottle and, guess what, it’s dark. “This is a very fruity marelot with a strong hint of apples to it.” He pours a little bit in a glass and pushes it my way. “Give it a try.”
I grab the glass and toss it back. It tastes like wine. I never have understood all of that mumbo-jumbo about oak and spice and whatnot. It tastes like red wine. I don’t taste any apples at all. “Yeah, that’s fine.” I have no idea why I said that.
He gives me a smile of accomplishment and pours half a glass for me, and then sets the bottle down next to it. I grab the glass and take another deep drink, disappointed that it isn’t cider I taste, but still appreciating the slight burn as the alcohol hits the back of my throat. I put the glass down and give it a good stare.
What the heck is wrong with me? I mean, with the me that I am?
Somepony sits down next to me and I glance over out of reflex. What I see… Wow. I mean, seriously, wow. It’s a unicorn, but not just a unicorn. This mare could redefine what a unicorn is supposed to look like. I haven’t seen a body like hers since, well, I guess Princess Luna. She’s hot. Totally hot.
I give her a quick nod and smile. And of course, she has no clue that I’m even there. C’mon! I was sitting here first! How can you walk in and sit down next to somepony and not even pay attention to them? All she’s doing is staring at the mirror.
Giving it a try, I look in the mirror, thinking she might see me and give me a glance. What was I thinking? All she’s doing is messing with her mane, trying to make it perfect even though it already looks great. I mean, this mare could be a model, easy. I feel my wings rustle slight as she primps in the mirror, and immediately want to smack myself. It’s just another Canterlot pony with Canterlot ideals and… ugh!
I go back to my wine just as the bartender comes up to take her order. She gives him some long, complex name with a number behind it. Yep, Canterlot all right. Though she has a great voice, too. Deep and dark, kinda like this place. It fits, really. I wouldn’t mind listening to this pony talk some more with that kinda voice.
When I get back to the room, I’m gonna have to listen to Rarity, who will do nothing but try to cheer me up. Heck, she’ll probably want to go find that dickbag stallion I had to deal with and give him a talk. She can make anypony feel about an inch tall with just her words. I might just encourage her to do that to the jerk, too.
Suddenly my glass and bottle are rising up in a unicorn’s magic. “What the hay?!” I know who it is, but I still can’t believe it. The hot unicorn has grabbed my stuff and I watch as she dumps both the bottle and the glass down the sink. “I was drinking that!”
She shakes the glass slightly, tossing my bottle into the trash. As the glass sits back down in front of me she pours some wine from her bottle into the glass with a bit of a smug smile on her face. “Then you should be thanking me from saving you from that swill. If you do not find this far superior vintage more to your liking, I will buy you two bottles to replace that one.”
“Look, lady, I did not come here to sample wines, I came here to get trashed.”
“Yes, I gathered as much.”
Oh, she’s asking for it. I don’t care how gorgeous you are, you do not stare at me that way and not get payback.
“Whatever.” I grab the glass and toss it back. It’s...really good, actually. After drinking that other wine and then this one, I can actually tell why some of those fancy terms are used. There is no way I’m telling her that, though! I look up at the ceiling and move my tongue around, kinda like the way I’ve seen fancy ponies do before. I give her a little shrug just to poke a little harder. “It’s alright, but I don’t see what’s so much better about it.”
“Better?” Perfect. She’s about to have a foal. “What’s better is fifty years of age and a far superior grape! You may as well compare filtered water to drinking from a muddy stream!”
She’s giving me a stare that would probably melt most ponies, but when have I ever been most ponies? “What’s wrong with drinking from a stream?” Let’s see if that makes her blow up.
Oh yeah, that did it. Her face bubbles. I mean, it actually seems to bubble. Her eyes, ears, lips, cheeks, and everything just moves around trying to find a place that makes sense to her. Bullseye!
She taps on the bar to bring the bartender over—a little harder than she intended, I think. “Please provide this mare with two bottles of whatever it was she was drinking and put the last one on my tab as well. Then bring me a bottle of the 954 Pal’mino Noir.”
It’s obvious the bartender is a little ticked, but nods. I give him a nod and a smile as he goes and then turn to the mare with a similar smile. She won’t even look my way. In fact, her nose is so high in the air right now that she might just bump into the weather ponies outside.
“Oh, so now you’re going to give me the cold whither? Fine, whatever.” If she’s gonna play it cold, so can I.
“What are you doing here?” I have no idea why she asks me that. Wasn’t that pretty much the first thing that we talked about?
“I already told you, trying to get wasted,” the bartender shows up just in time, and I grab the bottle and start to pour myself a new glass, “or I would be if some ponies would just leave me alone.”
“No. Why are you here, in Canterlot. You obviously don’t belong. And nopony gets that dressed up just to get ‘wasted.’”
Oh, she did not just… I really hate all these Canterlot ponies. Thanks for reminding me why I came into this place, lady. You prissy little stuck up….
“Why do you care?” I toss back the glass and fill another, and start to think about switching to something a little harder than wine.
“I don’t!” She says that like it’s poison or something and then tosses back her own wine. If she wants to make this a drinking contest, then bring it!
“Then why are you asking?”
“I don’t know!” Wow. Okay, she screamed that a little loud.
The whole place goes quiet and everypony looks our way. Gotta give the lady credit, though, she stares back with enough venom in her eyes to turn them all around. Soon enough the general noise of the bar comes back. I’m guessing some of the talk is about the two of us now, though.
I look at her. There is something about the way she’s sitting there. The way that she’s holding onto that glass and staring with a blank expression that is… familiar. Aw man, don’t look like that, lady. I didn’t mean anything by what I was saying. I was just having a rough day—and it looks like you are, too.
“Are you okay?”
At first she doesn’t do anything except sort of start wavering in her chair. I’m not sure that she’s used to drinking the way that we’ve been tossing them back.
Finally she looks over at me and I try to give her a soft look back.
"What?" Yeah. Her voice is really flat.
"Are you okay?" I kinda lean towards her, ready to grab her in case she falls off that stool.
And she looks even worse after I lean in. It’s like she’s trying to not answer me, but really wants to or something. All I know is that if she isn’t careful she’s gonna fall off that stool and hit the floor and likely hurt herself. I’d feel like dirt if I let that happen to her.
Her hoof hits the bar a little harder than she intends, and the bartender comes back over with a very forced expression on his face. The dude is barely holding it in.
“Check,” she mumbles to him.
“You got it.” I see him light up his horn and float over a tab. Then he reads it and my jaw drops. “Six hundred and fifty bits, ma’am.”
That can’t be right. Six-fifty for just four bottles of wine? And I know that mine couldn’t cost that much—at least I hope mine didn’t cost that much, I need to ask next time when I order—which means that hers cost at least three-hundred each. Who pays that much to get drunk?
That’s when I notice her hoof feeling around near her flank, looking for something that obviously isn’t there. Uh-oh.
“Do you take credit?” She asks him like she knows the answer.
“No, ma’am.” Yeah, this is gonna turn ugly.
“Do you know who I am?” Okay, now I’m curious. It’ll be good to have a name to attach to a pony who looks like she does. “I’m Fleur de Lis! My husband is Fancy Pants. We are one of the most powerful and… influential couples in Canterlot.”
He shrugs at her.
“Do you have a phone?” What the heck is a phone? “We just had one installed, and I could call my husband and…” Her voice trails off as she sees the blank expression on his face. He’s as lost about that as I am, which I have to admit makes me feel a little better.
At first I think she is crying. Her body lurches a couple of times with her head hung low, but when she throws her head back it is very obvious that she is laughing. Loud, actually. Everypony is staring at her again.
I gotta admit, it even takes me off guard when she stops laughing and jumps down from the stool. Moving way, way faster than I would have thought, she makes a run for the door. Some pony in a fancy outfit gets in her way, but she just runs through him, knocking him to the ground with a good shot from her whither.
“Ha!” I can’t help it. I never expected her to do that. The bartender and the doorman are both heading towards the door when I do something that surprises me. “Hey! Stop!”
Thankfully, they both do. “Don’t worry. I got this.”
Rarity is a great friend, but even more than that, she’s a connected one. She knows sometimes things can get a little out of hoof and you might need a little help. So, I reach into the bag on my hip and pull out the special coin she gave me. It’s got the Canterlot Royal Seal on it, and from what Rarity said, it’s pretty much a free pass wherever you might need it.
I flip it to the bartender, giving him a patented Rainbow Dash smile. “This should cover it! I’m staying at the castle.”
His eyes go wide, and that’s a good enough answer for me. Before he or anyone else can say anything, I’m out the door, flying up to get the position of—what did she call herself?—oh yeah, Fleur.
It only takes a second. She’s obviously not used to running away and hiding, but to her credit she’s pretty darn quick. I guess she has to work out to keep a body like that, and it’s showing. She makes a few turns down streets, sure that somepony is hot on her tail, but not thinking to look up even once.
Finally she finds a spot that she thinks is safe and stops. She looks soaked to the bone, running through this rain and splashing through so many puddles. Yeah, I keep forgetting that not everypony is as waterproof as a pegasus.
I drop down beside her as quiet as possible.
“You’re pretty fast… for a prissy unicorn that is.”
“Wh—”
“And the way you tackled that stallion, I wouldn’t mind having you on my hoofball team.”
“I don’t— You—”
Yeah, she pretty much has nothing to say. Not that I can blame her, she’s not used to someone as awesome as me showing up unexpectedly and saving the day. Still, I need to get her out of this rain and help her walk off some of the alcohol in her system.
“It’s not good to stop like that, you’ll give yourself cramps. Come on, we’ll walk it out until we can find someplace out of the rain.” I get down on my hooves so I can walk with her and throw a wing over her to help keep her dry.
I don’t know if she’s just too tired or what, but she doesn’t put up a fight—or say anything for that matter—she just starts walking down the street with me. A few steps into the walk I feel her press up against me. It feels… good. I wrap my wing around her a little tighter just to make sure she’s okay and keep walking.
We go on for a good bit, just wandering along while I try to find someplace dry that we can hang out at least until the storm has passed. I spy a little covered pavillion thing in a park and steer us that way. I don’t think she’s even aware we are out of the rain until I start to pull my wing off of her.
So here we are, dripping wet under this pavilion, just kinda standing there. She’s still pressed against my side, which is cool, I guess. I mean, it’s kinda cold out, and she’s gotta be nearly freezing, with the whole ‘not waterproof’ thing. It must suck not being a pegasus.
I almost put my wing across her back again… to help her warm up… because she’s cold… and lonely, which doesn’t even make sense. I mean, come on, she’s probably got stallions lining up around the block who want nothing more than to keep her company. I bet she could do anything, and they would find it ‘sexy’, or… whatever. I bet, even if she did something completely stupid and embarrassing, they’d just applaud and tell her how talented she is.
It’s so dumb! How can a mare like her look so lonely? Just look at her. She’s everything a mare is supposed to be. She’s lean and tall, with a long, delicate muzzle… She’s probably the prettiest mare I’ve ever seen.
I bet she does all that yoga stuff for hours everyday and only eats celery or something. No thanks. I’ll keep my hayburgers.
Anyway, she finally pulls away. My wing twitches when she does, and I have to keep it from reaching out to pull her back. She’s still soaked, after all, and it’s night time and cold, and all I have is my wing or this dress to offer. Only one of which will keep her warm.
“My apologies,” she says, for some reason. It’s not like she did anything… well, okay, she did do some things, but come on, that was like forever ago. “Thank you for bringing me…” she glances around, trying to look through the waterfall of rain pouring off the roof. “Well, I don’t know where we are.”
“Ah, don’t worry,” I say, shrugging. “You were having a bit of a rough time, so I swooped in for the save.” I turn to face her and put on my trademark grin, letting my awesomeness shine through. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that just being close to awesomeness makes you feel awesome too. And she looks like she could use a little awesome right now. “It’s kinda what I do.”
She finally looks my way and stares into my eyes. I meet her gaze, of course, being my normal, charming, confident self. I can tell its working because she relaxes a bit. Score one for the Dash.
She keeps staring, like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. I get that. It is pretty unbelievable just how great I am, and I’m used to being the center of attention. I bet she is too. I mean, there’s no way she doesn’t draw every stallions’ eye the moment she walks into a room, probably some mares too.
Fluttershy did the same thing when she did her stint as a model. Hers was different though. She was like, cute, or something mushy like that. This mare, she’s, like, the mare. She’s what every mare wishes she could be. Slender yet curvy, radiating sexiness the way I radiate awesomeness. I bet they’re all jealous of her. I bet they stare at her picture in magazines, hating her for being so much prettier than they are. I know what that’s like… sorta anyway.
I mean, everypony wishes they could be as awesome as me, because, I mean, duh. But… I don’t know… It’s different… but not? Whatever.
She finally breaks eye contact and takes a step further to the side before sitting down. It’s weird. She doesn’t just sit, she like… flows down to her haunches, wrapping her tail protectively around her flank.
“Well, nonetheless, I feel I owe you a debt.” She gives me a small—Rarity would probably call it ‘coy’, or something—smile. I bet it’d make all the stallions weak kneed. I’ve tried that kind of smile, but I can’t pull it off like she can. “Though I cannot be indebted to someone that I don’t actually know. My name is Fleur de Lis. What is yours, if I may ask?”
“Uh, well, you did just ask.” I roll my eyes. What is it with fancy ponies and announcing what they are about to do? “But sure! I’m Rainbow Dash!” I take off to hover just below the rafters, and strike a pose in mid-air. “Maybe you’ve heard of me?”
“Sorry, no,” she says with an amused smile. Amused! What about that was amusing? “But I don’t think that we travel in the same circles.”
“Save the world a few times, but does anyone recognize me? Heck no.”
I plop down to the floor beside her, grumbling under my breath. Not like I care, or anything. I know how awesome I am. I don’t need everypony to recognize me. But, seriously! It’s like ponies don’t even look at newspapers anymore.
“Saved the world? Does that mean you are one of Princess Twilight Sparkle and Rarity’s companions? One of Rarity’s Ponyville friends?”
“Whoa whoa whoa! You know Twilight and you know RARITY, but you don’t know me?”
“Well, the way you say it, it sounds bad. I know of your exploits via association, isn’t that good enough?”
“I saved the Wonderbolts, you know! Got a Silver Medal at the Equestria Games! I’m staying with Princess Celestia! By invitation!” I just glare at her, waiting for her response. It’s not what I expect.
“Rainbow Dash, if you don’t mind me asking, what were you doing down at that rather...colorful bar?”
I grunt and cross my forehooves over my chest. What kind of a stupid question is that. Like it even matters. “You mean besides getting drunk?”
“Yes, besides that. I believe that part was covered thoroughly in the bar itself.”
“Just, you know, hanging.” I turn to look out at the rain. Yeah, that’s it… to watch the rain. Man, it’s really coming down out there. I didn’t think Canterlot got storms like this. Ponyville needs them occasionally, what, with all the farms and woods and things. Canterlot, though, all they have are tiny parks like where we are right—
“By yourself? Seemingly wanting no company?”
Is she still talking about that? I peek at her from the corner of my eye. Why does she look worried? I’m not the one who ran out on her tab. I’m not the one struggling not to shiver in the cold. I’m good… cool. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m the one who should be worried about her.
“I find that hard to believe,” she keeps saying. “You can tell me the truth. I will not judge you.”
Gah! She really wants to know? Well… “Fine. I had an—a bad date with an—a stupid stallion who couldn’t handle my awesomeness. And I wasn’t ready to go back to my room. Happy?”
“You have my deepest condolences. I can only conjecture the pony in question was of far less than equitable mien.”
“Uh…” I blink, the fire fleeing from my voice at her smile, “maybe? If that means he was a jerk, then yeah. He was a huge jerk.”
“What did he do to you? Nothing improper, I hope.”
“Huh? Oh, heck no!” I almost wish he’d tried, then… “I’da kicked him hard enough to make sure his kids felt it! Nah, this was just a stallion with a stupid name who wasn’t able to handle all of this!” I spin back into another pose, using my forehooves to gesture to my, well, everything.
“Excuse me, but by chance you were not courted by Copious Assets were you?”
“Courted? Phht. Not hardly. He even made fun of my dress.” I look down at the… well, at what was left of the dress. It was… not in good shape. Still, even I knew it looked good on me, no matter how much it restricted my movement. Aww, ponyfeathers. “Rarity knocked herself out making this! … and she’s gonna kill me when she sees what happened to it.”
“Well, I can assure you that Copious Assets is a spoiled whelp. You are far better off without him. And, by the way, what did happen to your dress?”
“That was just a...thing. Well, sorta my thing. I mean…” I take a breath, not entirely sure why I’m telling her. But, whatever, Twilight says I need to stop holding things in, and I guess Fleur’s as good as anyone. “Okay, it’s like this. My friend Rarity set me up on this date, right? For some reason she thinks that I need to get out more and find a stallion outside of Ponyville, and since she’s such a good friend, I figure why not? I’ll indulge her a little.”
I rub the back of my head, unsure what to tell her. “So she gets me to put on this dress, which is way, way too tight for someone like me. I mean, seriously, watch this.”
I twist, doing one of the warm up stretches they taught us at the Wonderbolt Academy. The dress doesn’t take it so well, a few more of the seams ripping.
“See? I mean, it’s no surprise that it ripped when I…” … tried to show off inside a fancy restaurant while wearing a dress that Rarity told me not do that in. I stare at the ground.
“What? When you did what?”
I keep looking down, taking a deep breath before saying, “Okay, so I was out with Doofus Dumbname and he took me to this nice restaurant, uh, The Closet Club or something—”
“The Clover Club. Yes, I know the place.”
“Did you know that place doesn’t even serve hayburgers? I mean, what’s up with that?” I ask. It’s only when she nods absently that I remember I’m talking to somepony who grew up around this stuff. “Oh, but yeah, the dinner. So, we were sitting at this fancy table and there were, like, seven or eight forks in front of me, and he was sitting across from me and I was trying to figure out why somepony would need more than one fork, and he orders some food for both of us. Stuff that I can’t even pronounce.
“When it shows up at the table there’s a plate that has four or five tiny vegetables on it, and this tiny bowl of water that they told me was soup. I think there were more forks than food, to be honest.” I toss my mane, finishing the destruction of all the work Rarity put into it. “Then I look over at him, thinking I might get a clue, and… and he’s staring at the mare at the next table!
“So, I kinda cleared my throat. Reminded him I was at the table. You know what he does? He looks at me and apologizes, telling me that he was distracted by her delicate beauty or something like that.” I smirk at the memory of what happened next. “Hey, I might not be like you or Rarity, but I sure ain’t somepony you just ignore. Especially when we’re on a date—even a crummy one!”
“I totally agree,” Fleur says, blushing for some reason. Weird.
“There…” I almost start to tell her everything, but I stop myself just in time. She wouldn’t understand. She’d act just like they did, like I was in the wrong, like everypony el… no. Just no. “There were some things said, and some things done. It doesn’t matter. I tore my dress and the date ended badly. So, I got outta there and just started wandering the streets. I saw it was about to rain and spotted the bar, and… well, here we are.”
“He is an idiot, and one that you shouldn’t give any second thought. The mere fact that he does not recognize your unique beauty is his loss.”
“Exactly!” I shout, jumping higher into the air. “Not all mares are made of fluff and stuff. No offense.”
“None taken.”
Wow, that felt pretty good. Maybe Twilight was right about that whole ‘sharing your feelings’ thing. “Your turn.”
“My… I… what are you talking about?”
I almost giggle at her surprised expression. Priceless. “Just that it’s your turn. I told you why I was at the bar, now you gotta tell me why you were there.”
Grinning, I plop down right beside her. I keep my eyes locked on her while she takes a few breaths. She’s a little scared, but that’s okay. I get it. Fluttershy is always a lot scared, and all I have to do is pick up the slack until she’s ready.
“I don’t suppose you know who I am, do you?” she asks, finally, and I shake my head. I feel kinda bad. After the crap I gave about not knowing me and all. “Well, I am married to one of the most wealthy and influential stallions in Canterlot. He is a fine, revered member of Canterlot elite. We met many years ago at a social function. I was working as a model at the time and was lucky enough to catch his eye. We spoke, things progressed, we dated, and less than a year later I wed him in a very extravagant and acclaimed ceremony. It was covered in all of the social columns and publications. We were the talk of Canterlot.”
“But...that was a long time ago, right? I meant why were you there today?” She flinches, and her ears droop a bit. Ah, horseapples, I said something stupid.
“Yes. It seems that it was indeed a very long time ago. Time makes an old mare of all of us, Rainbow Dash. I am older than you, but I do not believe there are many who would call me...mature. I work hard to look like I do. Yes, I was gifted with good genetics, but it is with effort that I maintain my appearance. I’m sure you understand. You surely have to work to maintain your looks as well, yes?”
“Uh… sure.” I nod. I mean, I guess. I just kinda do my thing. AJ would definitely have something to say about calling it ‘work’ though.
“Then let me share with you a secret that I discovered far too harshly today. No matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try to hold on to your beauty, it ultimately doesn’t matter.”
Is… is she done? I must be missing something. I just don’t get it. I mean, yeah, everypony gets old… well except the princesses. Heck, most Wonderbolts retire before forty, or at least stop flying in shows. Rarity would be a better judge, but she’s got to have like, a decade or more before any of that even starts to show. Plus, she’s already married the stallion of her dreams, working her dream job… How am I supposed to know what to say if I don’t even know what’s wrong?
“If all you have to offer is your looks, then you will surely discover that there is always a younger mare than you. Someone trim and fit, with a dusty coat and dark mane that….” She cuts herself off, squeezing her eyes shut.
Oh… oh, no. She’s not going to cry. Please don’t be about to cry. “Uh, are you okay?”
“Of course I am.” She blinks a few times and seems to recover. “I was at home. I encountered my husband in a… compromising… manner and left. Like you, the rain caught me and I entered the building. Discovering it was a bar, I had a few drinks and…. Well, as you phrased it, here we are.”
I gape at her. It’s all I can do. Words… there are none. All I can see is Fleur and… and… It’s all I can do to keep from flying off blind and half-saddled. “Where is he?”
“Who? My husband?” She waves a hoof at me, a spark of fear in her eyes as she tries to calm me down. “No, no. That’s...not your concern.”
“Of course it’s my concern! You’re my friend! And nopony gets away with treating my friends like that.” Just tell me where he is so I can show him what I think of dirty, no good, cheating—
“It’s not a matter of how he treated me, it’s more… It’s complicated. I’m not… I’m just not the mare I used to be.”
“Not the mare you used to be?” I pull back a bit, shocked and a little offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shrinks back, almost like she’s afraid of me. Which is ridiculous. I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at her jerk husband. “It means that I’m old. That he’s always had an eye for youth, and that I… This is Canterlot.”
“I… that doesn’t…” I groan, grinding a hoof against my temple. “Gah!” How can somepony seem so smart and be so blind? “You’re not old. You’re gorgeous! Any mare would kill to look like you.” My voice falters, “To be graceful…”
“Yes… gorgeous. I thought that exact same thing earlier. And you have no reason—no pony has any reason to want to be like me. You… you move far more dynamically than I could ever hope.”
I slouch and look away. “Tell that to all the stallions back in Ponyville.”
“I shouldn’t have to, but if somepony needs to, they should.” Her hoof pulls my chin and forces me to look at her. “You are very special, Rainbow Dash. Any pony that does not see that… Well, they don’t deserve to see it, then.”
“Heck yeah, I’m special. I’m awesome,” I say, but I can’t keep the bitterness from my voice. Sighing, I kick at the wood floor. “For all the good it does. No stallion wants a mare like me. They want mares like you and Rarity. Beautiful and elegant and charming…”
She laughs. It’s not a ‘funny ha ha’, more a ‘you’re being adorable’ type laugh. I’m not sure how to feel about that. “Stallions have no idea what they want most of the time. We think we can tell them, but, in truth, they never make up their minds. They are always fickle beasts. A wise stallion would gladly look at you and be thrilled.” Her eyelids slid halfway down. “And so would many mares, for that matter. You underestimate yourself. Sometimes, we all do.”
I swallow, which was stupid because my mouth is super dry now. “That… uh… that doesn’t change that your husband deserves a good flank kicking,” I say, trying to find my bearings.
“To what end? He will have his way, ultimately. Money has a way of bringing power. He will never understand what it is to have to endure doubt. He can buy his pleasure. Though he will never have the pleasure of being in the position I am at this moment.” She leans in, close enough that I can feel her breath on my muzzle. “His loss.”
Her lips touch mine before I realize what’s happening and I freeze. I don’t… She’s so much softer than the stallions I’ve kissed, gentle, our lips pushing together only enough to create a seal. My forelegs slip under hers, cradling her as I push back. When she starts to tip backward, my wings flare out, catching us as I set her down on her back.
Everything becomes a blur of sounds and scents and tastes, all playing to the background of the storm still raging around us.
It’s the first rays of sunlight peeking through the clouds that wake me up. I almost think it all some dream until Fleur shifts against my side. We’re still under the pavillion, laying side-by-side with my wing draped protectively over her back.
For a few minutes, all I can do is smile. It’s super early. I wouldn’t normally be awake for hours yet. But I think I’m okay with that. My smile becomes stupid and goofy as I think back about what happened, all the things I never thought about doing before… not to mention with a mare… or a mare as hot as Fleur.
Unfortunately, I can’t help but recall some of the things we talked about too. I wait for her to look at me before I ask, “You gonna be okay?”
Her smile falls a little, and I want to apologize, but she answers before I can. “Right now? Yes. Later? Time will tell.”
Stupid mouth ruining the best morning I’ve had, like, ever. And here it goes again… stupid mouth. “What are you gonna do?”
“What any good Canterlot wife would do,” she says like it’s as obvious as the sun in the sky, “nothing. I will go on with my life, playing the role that I have set for myself as the female figure of our household, smiling and hoping that the smile is genuine each time. He will figure out that I know, and he will do nothing. We will live our lives together—apart.”
“Wow. That’s really messed up.” I mean, talk about depressing. I pull my wing back, letting it drawn along her back as it does. “You don’t have to do that, you know,” I say, hoping she understands what I’m trying to tell her. “You can do anything you want.”
“Thank you. Not only for those words, but for giving me something that will help me to maintain a genuine smile.” She takes a breath and smiles more genuinely than a moment before. “And I can have my dalliances, too, can’t I?”
“I guess,” I say as I stand and turn away. I don’t want to be mad at her, but it’s hard, you know. It’s like she’s not even thinking about it. Like it was just… like it didn’t…. “Yeah, the weather ponies are clearing everything out. We should be good to go.”
“And where will you go?”
It’s a stupid idea. I know that. Still… I sigh. “Rarity is probably chomping at the bit to find out where I’ve been. Guess I’ll have to go give her the bad news.”
“About your date?”
I glance over my shoulder and giver her a questioning look. “What? Heck no! Glad that’s over, and it led to a great evening anyway.” I put on the best smile I can, which she returns. “I just don’t want to tell her about the dress.”
She looks down at the dress haphazardly tossed to the ground. “I want to buy it from her. From you.”
“You what?” I nearly shout as she picks it up in her magic and walks up to me. She can’t seriously… I don’t… I know we’re not… but… “You want to pay me for—”
“No!” she shouts in a panic, putting a hoof on my lips. “No. Nothing of the sort. I could never think that way of you. And I hope you would never think that of me.”
I blush a bit. I can’t believe I even thought that of her.
“I want to purchase this dress. It caught my eye in a most delightful manner, and I refuse to let it go. Please inform Miss Rarity that I request her presence at my home so that she may alter the dress to fit me accordingly.”
“If I go back without the dress, then Rarity—”
“Tell her whatever you like. A charity auction at the restaurant. That I was an annoying piece of wealth who pestered you until you relented. The important thing is that this dress… that the mare who wore this dress is important to me, and I wish to have it with me during any further difficult times.”
I can’t take it anymore. Pawing at the floor again, I say, “Uh, you could just kinda have that mare, maybe.”
She gives me that same smile Rarity does when I say something she thinks is silly. I know what she’s going to say before she does, with only makes it worse. “No. We both know that can’t happen. What would I do in your world? How long could you endure mine? This was… lightning. We caught it this once, but I do not want to tempt it burning me with a second try.”
I slump. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“And you, dear,” she leans in, her lips warm and moist against my cheek, and gone all too soon, “are wonderful.”
It helps, though. Makes me feel a heck of a lot better at least. With a flap of my wings, I rise up. “Wonderful? I’m awesome!”
“Yes, I suppose you’re that, too,” she says with a light laugh.
That’s the last we say for a bit. I don’t think she really wants this to end either. I know she doesn’t really want this to end. But we both know that it has to. I break first. I’m not sure if that means I won or lost… or if it even matters.
“I guess I’ll see you around.”
She nods. “Always.”
With that, I take off, bolting out into the parting sky. It’s weird, the further I get, the easier it is to keep going. I doubt I’ll ever not regret how things ended… But it’s a new day, and, for the first time in awhile, I really feel as awesome as I’ve always known I am.
Author's Note
Be sure to check out Fleur's take on this same story (still co-written by me and The Landgrave) here.
