Author's Note

This is a first draft, not edited really. Or even proofread. Had a lot of distractions this week. Finally have the time to sit down, take care of my pores and write while wearing a luxurious mud mask and watching Star Trek. If this chapter seems disjointed, that is because I've written it in a very disjointed manner.

Cunning Linguistics

Donning The Beard... Vicariously.

Chapter 2: Cunning Linguistics

“So he just looks at me and says 'S-sir! The Princess is secure, Sir!' I nearly died laughing!” Shining laughed, setting his cup down.

His Twiley joined in the laughter, “Oh, it must have been so fun to watch you acclimate to life as a royal... Cadance is a lucky mare, you know.”

“Oh? What makes you say that?” Shining asked with raised eyebrow. He was just about to take another sip from his teacup.

Twilight blushed deeply, and stammered. “I- I mean, you can be so serious with your job, but not many ponies know that you're such a silly colt underneath. Cadance gets to see the Shining that likes to mess with other ponies and have fun.”

“What's wrong with me today?” She wondered. She'd been thinking... odd thoughts. Shining and Cadance have been weighing heavily on her mind since he arrived.

“Hey, I don't take my work THAT seriously... Do I?” He sipped slowly, leveling his sis with an intense stare.

“W-well, I- Hey! I know what you're doing, mister!” She tried to scold her brother, but ended up bursting into laughter as he bumped his brows up and down, devilishly.

After calming herself down, she breathed in deeply. “There are few things in life you actually take seriously, B.B.B.F.F, and your job is certainly one of those few.” She smiled thoughtfully.

“Well, my job is to protect you and Cadance. How can I not be serious about that? And you're sure one to talk about taking things too seriously.” He smiled again, placing his hoof down on the table.

To his surprise, Twilight placed her hoof on his, and looked him in the eye.

“I'm glad you're here to protect me, Shining Armour.” She signed.

The look was tender, and full of emotion. But Shining couldn't help but feel like it held more meaning to it.

He was honestly at a loss, feeling like he was in a haze. Somehow the stimulating feeling was familiar, yet altogether alien.

“Twiley...” He started, less confident than usual.

“Yes... Big brother?” She barely breathed, eyelids sliding shut.

“... Where's the bathroom?”

“Oh. Uh. Red door in the lounging chamber. Down that corridor.” She sat back, not realizing how far forward she had leaned. Somehow she felt very confused and empty. Like a cup expecting to be filled, an itch that somehow went away without a scratch.

“Thanks.” Like a shot, Shining Armour was off.

Twilight just sighed, finishing her tea before she stood on tired legs.

“I Suppose I could throw together some lunch.”

*** *** ***

It had been a while since they carried lunch back into the library, where Twilight had been found studying. She was attempting to explain to her brother the nature of her work, while he munched cutely on a corn dog.

“So after studying EVERYTHING about how memory was retrieved by the brain, it was only a matter of manipulating the neural pathways directly with a single spell, that not only can determine which pathways to stimulate, but how to replicate the information stored in those pathways and replicate it in the graymatter of the caster. “

She rubbed her hooves together, stars in her eyes and a huge grin.

Shining sat, gazing about all the papers and countless calculations and figures. Though not surprising, considering the filly his Twiley was, it was damn impressive. She must have been at this for months...

“Uh, yeah. So how long ha-”

“Two weeks of work, and I'm finally ready for my first practical test!” She beamed.

This stunned the stallion, his eyes bugging out a moment. “Two weeks?!”

Twilight continued, as if she couldn't hear her brother. “Which is another reason I'm excited you're here, B.B.B.F.F, I need your help.”

“Practical test?!” He was still lagged behind.

“... Are you done?” She deadpanned.

“Oh, uh.” He stammered, before looking at the clean stick that once held his food. “What can I do to help?”

Twilight smiled, adjusting her glasses before continuing to one of her chalk boards.

“Now, while this is not my first test of the memory reading spell, it IS the first test of the replication incantation. Animal testing proved... Inconclusive. The neural pathways between ponies and squirrels are, to put it simply, dissimilar. Thus, I've concluded that as a blood relative, with 50% of my genes, that YOU would be the best speci- er. Candidate for a practical test.”

Shining shuddered, not understanding more than half of that. What he did understand didn't sound very safe.

“Twiley, I do-” He began, but was interrupted.

“Wonderful! I'll get th-”

“NO! … No, Twilight. I can't do it. I uh, promised Cadence my visit wouldn't cause trouble. Something about this doesn't feel right... Maybe work on it another week or two first?”

Twilight was starting to get upset, she began pacing. “No, no, no. Shining Armour, I've come so far already! You don't understand, I CAN'T go farther without a test subject!”

“But I'm not a test subject, Twiley. I'm your B.B.B.F.F! And I want to help you, just not like that. Isn't there anything else I can do?”

She sighed, clearly agitated. She had to have this one thing. She needed control over her research.

“But there's nothing you can help with!”

The stallion looked his sister in the eye, and saw she was fuming.

“Twiley-”

She turned, coldly, before leaving the room in a huff.

Shining let out a sigh. “Twiley...”

*** *** ***

The groove in the floor was already several millimeters deep, the princess was only pacing at the foot of her bed for a little over ten minutes.

She couldn't believe all her momentum had to be stopped. How would she finish the spell if she can't properly test it?

“Why did you have to ruin ANOTHER experiment!?” She yelled at her pillow, thinking of the times when she was a filly, and her brash brother would wreck her projects, not always on accident.

“I hate you!” She cried, eyes wet as she flung herself onto her bed. The tears rolled freely down her cheek. “You ruin everything...”

What was this? Why was she so emotional... Such a response was neither rational, nor reasonable.

She realized this, looking up to see her bedside table. On it sat a small bottle. Her brother's gift. She remembered feeling strange accepting it.

It was unlike him to buy her gifts, at least when they were growing up. Certainly a lot had changed about him, after Cadance came into his life. Being married will change a stallion.

Twilight wondered how many gifts he'd bought for his wife, as she lifted hers in her aura. It tingled in her mind as she enveloped it.

Chills ran down her spine, and she felt breathless. “Sh-Shining...”

What was this feeling? She knew her brother had never been happier. Why was she so angry? Jealous? Her thoughts became more confusing and clouded as the bottle reached her nostrils.

A gentle whiff, and she instantly sat up. “W-what? But how?” instantly reality snapped into focus. Sci-Twi mode was activated, and she had a hypothesis.

In only a few minutes she had her bedchambers' lab assembled.

“Time to get to work...”

*** *** ***

Shining Armour sat alone, a chocolate milkshake sat half gone on his table next to a plate of donuts, cupcakes, and a moose.

“Can I get you anything else, dearie?” The powder blue mare waiting on him asked.

The stallion looked up, as if a deep thought was interrupted. “Huh? Oh. Can I have some chocolate milk?”

“Oh? My my my! Somepony's got a lot on his mind. One glass coming right up.” She strode over to the counter. Sugarcube corner was surprisingly quiet for this time of day. Maybe other ponies were at home eating proper meals.

In a moment, Mrs Cake was back with a tall glass of chocolate milk, which Shining Armour wasted no time in gulping down.

“Ahh.” He sighed, before staring back into space. He had no idea how much time had passed before...

“Are you sure you're alright, dearie?” The older mare sat down across from him. “I've know a stallion to drown his sorrows in sweets before, but this...” She gestured, a smile on her face. “What's wrong?”

He had no idea why, but he felt as though he could be open with this mare. She was a very good cook, very gentle with her words, and rounded. Much like his memories of his grandmare.

“Oh, it's just... I dunno.” He sighed deeply, stuffing his snout with a donut, pouting a little. The sight was utterly adorable.

“Aww, is it a pretty young filly on your mind?” Mrs Cake smiled at him with empathy.

“... Yeah.” Again, another donut. So adorable.

“You know, I have just the thing for these types of talks. Something to soothe, and make all your troubles melt away with a simple aroma. Do you want some?”

“...Okay.” He moped.

In a flash, the larger mare was off, and back with two teacups with steaming tea. “Here, try some of this. It'll help keep your thoughts straight.” Again with that smile.

“Tea?” He looked disappointed. This would not satisfy his sweet tooth. Curiously, he sniffed it in the saucer, before slurping some directly out of the cup. “Hm. This is some pretty tasty tea, Mrs...?”

“Call me Cupcake, dearie. And it's a special tea, 'bom-bass'. You only get it from the Everfree Forest. Now, about these filly problems...”

“Oh, yeah...” He focused back to Twilight. Surprisingly, the bom-bass tea was helping. “My little Twilight... She scares me sometimes.”

This intrigued Cupcake, she knew Twilight. It was good, she thought, that she finally found herself a stallion. And one so handsome, at that. A princess deserves a prince, after all.

“I watched her transform from an inquisitive filly, into a dangerously curious princess.” He sighed deeply into his teacup, slurping more of it cutely.

“Dearie, I don't know much about Miss Twilight personally, but from what I've observed she's always so careful. How can you be scared for her?”

“It's just that, not too long ago her experiments were about levitation and mustaches. Now here she is, tampering with neural pathways like they're simply a tangle of yarn.”

“Sounds to me like she's walking along the path laid before her. What if it is simply her destiny to become the most powerful spell caster of our age? Don't you want to guide her through every trial and tribulation?”

“W-well yeah, but how can I protec-”

“Maybe it isn't your job to protect her from her destiny. Perhaps simply being there when she needs you is enough.” She smiled, sipping her tea. How had she managed to pick it up in her hooves like that?

Shining sat silent a little longer. After a minute, Mrs Cake stood, moving on to attend to her sparse other guests.

“Cupcake...” Shining spoke finally. The mare turned to him, smiling.

“Yes, dearie?” She asked.

He returned a smile. “Thanks for the tea.”